The rest of the day she didn't come to see me

I actually felt like dying, all this for nothing?

No! Tomorrow! I will go see her tomorrow before school to see what they are up to

I went to sleep early so that I can wake up early and approach (subtly, obviously I was gonna "happen to be just where she was") her and listen her opinion on my craft

I was nervous, playing with my fingers, biting my nails, on the way to the shrine where they gather

I have never been so nervous even when I had to play for the greatest pianist of this country, why do I even care so much about her opinion

In fact, if she doesn't like it, fine! I don't care!

But would I actually not care?

If she told me "hey, this is not good enough, but thank you anyways, and sorry for your trouble!" I might probably become a mess of tears right there on the spot

I-I'm a great composer!? YOU NEED ME!

I arrived, I better act natural

They seem to have finished their workout

She's laying on the ground while the others are sitting, they're having a conversation about god knows what

I don't even remember quite well what is it they were talking about, but being this close again, made me realize just how good friends these three are

Normally, and I have seen this tons of times before, groups of friends of three people don't work well, because two of them are closer and there's a third one who ends up being there just because yes

But it's different with them, they have this dynamic where Kotori is always pampering Honoka and Umi is always calling her out on doing this and Honoka for being irresponsible and careless, all this meanwhile, and I can bet my entire family's net worth on this, Honoka looks at both of them with immeasurable love from the bottom of her heart. She loves her two friends to bits, she couldn't love them more even if she tried

I slightly, slightly, only just a bit, I wish she also saw me with those eyes

It seems so fun to be with her

"Oh!"

Damn she saw me, I gotta go

"Maki-chan!"

"Uehhhhh"

Don't shout my name like that, are you crazy?

"Don't raise your voice like that!"

"Eh, why?"

Because my legs feel weak, my cheeks get red, I start to malfunction when I hear your voice calling my name like that!

"Because I don't like it"

I'm the biggest liar in history, it should be obvious at this point I just say exactly the opposite I think

She then asked me to listen to the song and how they sang to it

Oh so this had her busy yesterday, they were practicing the song and now had a recording of their practice

I feel relieved, she actually used my song

Could this moment last a bit more? I'm so happy

Wait I won't allow them to see me like this

"Huh? How many times do I have to say no to you so that you unders-"

"She's still keeping that act?" Umi said

I actually feel embarrassed now, and out of all three, did it have to be the most mature one to call me out?

Nevertheless, both Umi and Kotori had kind expressions

I felt bad for being unkind and also felt very moved by how warm their aura was

I looked at Honoka again

Suddenly she had a funny expression on her face

She got close, what what what?

She is about to bite my ear, I can feel her breath on my neck and my ear and my hair and I think I'm gonna pass away

"Noooooo"

Or yes? What is even the point with me?

She just put the earplug in my ear

"µ's! Music, start!" said the three of them

I then listened to it

Umi sings undoubtedly well, Kotori's voice is cute

Then it's her

Why is her voice so extraordinary? Why does she have such a dumb smile on her face?

This is something special, I can feel it

It's a precious song

Of course it is, I also participated in it!

As of now, there are two versions of this song, one with me singing it alone, and the other with the singing of this trio in front of me

I feel kinda lonely, because I'd like my voice to be in the same recording as theirs

But wouldn't it be asking too much?

I am the daughter of two renowned doctors, papa and mama have never pressured me into studying too hard but I always felt it was my duty to perform to the best of my ability

Do I have time to be fooling around? No, this is not the correct word. Do I have time to dance and sing with them? I should be studying all afternoons that are to come, so that I can get into a good university and finally manage the familiar business

"It was great, don't you think the same?"

I was just a moment ago thinking about all my worries, my duties, the things that make life complicated, and then she talked to me and I felt relieved, and my ears enjoyed the first to the last syllable she pronounced with that beautiful voice of hers

It is you! This group of three works because of you! There's just no way of being unhappy or feeling hatred or sadness by your side!

I just even wonder if it's right for me to be near you

My heart is full of emotions again

There's butterflies flying alongside my soul

"It was beautiful" I said with a low tone of voice

"Yayyyyy!"

Honestly, what is her deal? Why is she always glowing?

"Wanna go to school together with us?"

I accepted

I didn't say a word on the entirety of the walk to school, I just enjoyed myself with every second I could get close to her. I also could confirm Umi is indeed a very serious girl and Kotori is very calm and really, really liked to spoil Honoka. It's not normal I'd say. Kotori holds Honoka's arm as if she was her girlfriend but I'm pretty sure they are only friends. Umi, although as reserved as she can be about this stuff, seems to be oblivious about this. It's like she got used to it. Just for how long have they been like this? It kind of irritates me. No! It doesn't!

It seems they will hold a concert

I'm not that interested, but I will give it a go

Who designed this flier anyways? Kotori?

She really draws very nice

The concert is today, half an hour after the end of classes

I must go

"Miss Nishikino, today is your turn taking care of the cleaning of the classroom"

Crap! Not today!

I can't for the life of mine let anyone think I'm going there, much less that I'm dying to go

I will take care of this first and then go

But damn I may lose the chance to get a seat in the first row

No, I will hold back my tears!

Stupid me! This is no time to be crying! I must clean fast, I know I will make it in time!

Damn this and damn the entire world and damn the schedule for making me of all people do the chores today of all days!

This took way more time than I wanted it to, I must go now

I run like my life depends on it

The student council president didn't let it slide

"Miss Nishikino right? It is forbidden to run in the school passageways."

"Ara? It is Maki chan, it's not like her to act like this"

Dear Student Council vice president, have you considered you should stop saying unnecessary stuff no one asked for?

"I'm sorry, Eli senpai, Nozomi senpai. I was just in a hurry for…"

"For what?"

Nozomi please shut up!

"I have some important stuff to do at home"

"But the entrance is to the opposite direction"

"You seem to be headed to the auditorium" said Eli

I was found out

But I fled the scene!

I arrived late, it must have already started

It took me some time to get here because I didn't want to cross paths with Eli and Nozomi again

But damn why did Nozomi have to be standing next to the door?

I don't even care anymore, God!

Ah damn she saw me!

But I don't care, it seems they are in the middle of a performance

I try to ignore her gaze and her little teasing

I am now standing on the door of the auditorium

It's empty

It's totally empty

What the fuck?

But they are there on the stage, Kotori and Umi, and HER

So why did no one come to see them?

I suddenly feel enraged

I was also part of this in one way or another, after all

But no one came to see them

I could see from this distance that Honoka had cried a few moments ago

But right now she was performing to the best of her ability

I am terribly angry with everyone for not filling up this auditorium, but I'm also moved by seeing her dance and sing

They're giving it their all to this empty auditorium

If anything, I'm glad I'm one of the few who gets to experience this

Now that I pay a little more attention, I'm not the only one here. There's the girls in charge of taking care of the auditorium and also there's a twin tailed girl with black hair hidden in the third latest row of seats. There's also a girl with glasses and a short haired girl beside her, who seem to have been captivated by μ's performance

They finish their presentation and I fight back the urge to clap with all my might

I really wish she knew just how much she moved me

I also still can't let slide the fact that she and her friends went through the trouble of giving out these fliers for the past days, that lots of people told them they'd come, only for being only just us witnessing their act

They made her cry, it really really pissed me off

I mean, why? Didn't no one else feel something when she got close telling them to go see her concert? I'm pretty sure that she has enough aura to pull people to fill this building

Then why? Are you all blind, how could you pass up on the opportunity to see this angel perform? You all made her so sad she cried, I could tell she cried.

Is this really how her first performance must start? Is this really what she deserves?

Such a lovely girl that only wanted to showcase her efforts and for everyone to have a good time, she didn't deserve this to be her first time performing

If anything I'm impressed she could pull herself up and still sing and dance to the enjoyment of this little audience

Later I would find out it was the girl with glasses the one who arrived first before Honoka actually broke on tears

For that, I will be eternally grateful to Hanayo

I would have loved to be the one doing it but I'm glad she did what she did, thus giving Honoka the little bit of encouragement she needed to push forward

I will also be forever sorry for not arriving earlier

If I had practiced a piece for an entire month, giving fliers here and there and showing everyone a big smile and being so excited for this great day, only for no one to show up, I'm sure I would have broken forever

She's far more charming than me and she received this treatment

I wonder if she's mad with all the people that promised to come but ultimately didn't?

A blonde tall girl has got out of the sound control room

It's the student council president

I wonder if she will give some words of encouragement

I wish I could say them myself but I am a dork in things like this and also if I speak to her directly as I am now I will stutter and end up embarrassing myself

"So? How did this great flop suit you? Are you prepared to give up?"

This idiot! How, how does she dare say that?

I was about to forget about my shyness and really go all out on her

But then she talked back

She proceeded to say to all of us who were there just how much fun she just had experienced, even if the concert was a failure

"This feeling of thrill, this feeling of excitement, I want to transmit it to other people!"

Not only is she not mad with no one coming to see them, but she still wants to impress them? I somehow feel moved by that. She's giving everyone a second chance to appreciate her greatness, do not miss it this time fools!

It is true though, for the 3 minutes or so the song lasted, I am sure we all felt moved by their enthusiasm. Me personally, I felt like supporting them with all I could.

"One day, we will fill this auditorium!"

I support you! Do your best! Do you need another song? Hit me up!

I now kind of understand the appeal of idols

Seeing them dancing with cute movements and with lyrics full of positive feelings made me feel something special

The feeling is all the more special when standing there in the center is someone who genuinely does this out of pure fun and has no idea just how much she shines without even trying

You could put Umi in the center by her virtue of her good singing, but she would crumble under the weight of being the focus of main attention and probably not be able to give it her all

You could put Kotori too in the center, as she's really beautiful, in terms of looks, objectively speaking, she takes it. But she doesn't have that unwavering energy, the feeling of becoming one and only with the stage

Then you have her, leading them both, the biggest fan of both, she thinks she just fell on the center out of pure inertia but in reality no one makes their own the stage like her, and also the other two feel at home with her there. They can showcase their best attributes and shine to the fullest

At that time, I wondered how far she was gonna make it

Honoka… Honoka… Honoka…

It is now that I think about it, now that my head is clear because after finally creating a song and see how it was appreciated by her first of all but also by her friends, it has left me with a feeling of fulfillment

A thousand people with the most prestigious careers in music could have told me I did good but it would have never made me feel as happy as when I heard HER singing along my melodies

It's like we were a little closer with just that

Flustered again? With just that?

Oh my…

…

As I start to get used to have my face go red whenever I think about her, I think about her name and I start thinking that I may had met her before

The possibility is low though, I would never be able to forget someone like her

Knowing her and then stop seeing her all of a sudden would literally be a life changing event for me

It would shape my future like no other thing

…

Wait…

…

The reason why I haven't wanted to get close to anyone until now that I actively seek for her blue eyes to gaze my way, wasn't it because I had a childhood friendship that when I lost, I thought I better not create any bond so that I won't get hurt again?

"Maki-chan, we will be together forever, I promise!"

Suddenly a memory came to me, from the depths of my mind

A little girl said that phrase

A little girl that looks way too much like Honoka now that I think about it

No, it can't be…

Does that girl know just how much those words meant and still mean to this day to me?

I actively chose to not try to make friends anymore because losing her hurt like hell

I was only six years old I think?

But I can't never ever forget those afternoons together with her

I felt like I was in heaven every second I spent with that girl

Didn't she also have blue eyes? Didn't she also have a similar voice?

No, it really can't be

Wasn't her hair the same color even?

But would Honoka make something so horrible?

Would she say stuff like that to me, make me experience the happiest days of my life, just to vanish? Why wouldn't she come look for me?

Wait, I shouldn't let my mind take me to such wild places, first of all, these two could be two entirely different people

I must ask her in private one of these days to be sure

But how… I just composed for her…

I have been acting hostile to her all this time and made her say she wouldn't bother me no more

I wonder if I will get any chance to be close to her anymore

This girl in class

Her name is Hanayo

Today she came to my house

I wish Honoka had came though

It actually makes me sad because I really would have liked her to visit me instead of this girl with glasses

Well, anyway

She gave me my school ID

I thanked her

I might be not the most social girl ever, but it can't hurt to be polite once in a while

I don't remember it too well how we came to talk about it

But she told me she had interest in µ's

She outright told one of the least likely persons to pay attention to it that she would like to join

She also told me that she felt insecure about it

The funny thing is, maybe she couldn't have chosen a better person to say this than me despite what it may look like

I saw myself in her

I also wanted to join, I also felt unsure about it

I wanted to join because the leader seems like a kind hearted person, and she seems to draw you close to her. I felt unsure about it because I am a prodigy of the piano, supposedly idol music is nothing but a joke to me

I told her the words I tell myself, the advice I give myself but don't apply

"If you want it that much, you should join then!"

I didn't see her in the eyes when telling her that

I am not even so sure I told her specifically those words, it was more like saying it to myself

Taking my pent up frustration on her

But she saw it as kindness

She left my house with renewed determination and thanked me a lot

I hope she's okay

Not that I care that much about her anyways

But I really hope she's okay, ok?

Late at night I had a really bad idea

"Let's see if they have uploaded anything to this site of idols?"

Was what I thought at the time

Well I wish I hadn't

I went to the love live website and searched "µ's"

I found the video of their presentation

I wondered who uploaded it? Maybe one of the girls who was in charge of the auditorium?

Anyways, I clicked, the video played

I sayyyy, hey, hey, hey, START DASH!

Whenever I think I couldn't feel more emotions from her, she goes and destroys my expectations like it was nothing, in this moment now I saw her shine even more. Even if it was through the screen, I felt pumped, I felt full of energy, I felt like supporting her, I even felt sad for not being there dancing with them. Forever I will remember that Umi and Kotori took away from me the possibility of being part of Honoka's first live. That thought hurt but it also hurt to not be with them in general. When I realized it I was dancing along to the music. My composition alone could make me feel so much, with such cute dancing and singing now I truly understood what idols were all about. I want to join. I want to join. I want to join. But… What if I'm not good enough? Do I deserve it after being so cold with her? What about my pride and idol stuff being silly? Oh to hell with that! I really, really want to join now. But I don't know if I will be able to bring myself to tell them.

As you all probably knew, this next day was all about bringing Hanayo to join µ's, but she was too shy to do it. Rin and I helped her finally get it over with, she's overjoyed right now. Hooray! Her wish came true! I also feel happy for her, I feel that her joining this group is also kind of a victory of my own. It's like she entered the group on my behalf. Am I okay with that? Is it really enough? Well, anyways, it's not like I got the guts to tell them I also am dying to join. To spend my morning and my afternoons dancing by her side. To also share a moment with Kotori and Umi wouldn't be bad. To have a group of friends to share a common passion. I suddenly gaze Rin's way and see her smiling, but after a little while, she has an expression of profound sadness in her eyes. It looks as if she wishes she was in Hanayo's place. As if she would also love to take part in this new adventure. Maybe I understand it because I also feel the same at this very moment. But prideful we must not be! Our only goal was to help Hanayo, wasn't it? So this is it. Rin, you and me, we both did our best. Let's be happy with that. I decide to look at Hanayo, still with tears in her eyes for finally being part of µ's, and I see two hands extend their way to me and Rin.

"Would you two also like to join?" Umi and Kotori said

At this point of time, at this very moment, my defenses were all destroyed. Honoka had been tanking with full power the wall I had built around me since the day we met. Every occasion I saw her face, saw her walk, saw her smile, saw her calling out for me, the moment I saw her dance and sing, the moment I also felt extremely angry when I noticed people unintentionally made her cry, right now seeing her embracing Hanayo in a hug filled with nothing but love, because I could feel she wasn't happy only for getting a new member, she saw Hanayo with enthusiasm of having found a new partner to have lots of fun with. My wall was shattered with the greatest hammer in existence and the funny thing is, she did it effortlessly. She is just being herself in the purest rawest form possible and is making me want to be by her side like crazy. Not even me being an idiot who always says the opposite of what I'm thinking could prevent me from being true to myself this one time. The doors for a future of unimaginable possibilities are open in front of me and I can't let this chance go or I will regret it for the rest of my life. I just proceeded to take Umi's hand. I felt I was doing the greatest deal of my life. While I did it, Rin took Kotori's hand. And Rin and I looked at each other, with a big smile on both of us. "We made it, we made it" was what both of us were thinking, I have zero doubt of that. Then I took a little look at her. I could feel it. She was genuinely happy to see that both of us also joined. Seeing her honest smile, being able to feel the most pure intentions coming from her, made me all the more happy to have joined. Finally, I'm part of µ's!