Chapter Twenty-Seven

A Pleasant Surprise, For Once

My next few days were spent in bed. Your first instinct might be to think I was depressed, but that was only part of the equation; I had the flu. The mist that Voss had sprayed me with had been the cause, which I guess was just his way of getting one last petty blow in after he was reigned in by the Allfather.

My mom also hadn't budged on the whole "pulling me out of school" thing, which wasn't surprising. The furthest I'd gotten her to go was putting me in a school across town that I'd have to take a bus to because I knew I couldn't deal with my old classmates if I went to the nearest school. On the subject of classmates, I hadn't even told my current ones yet. Including Ri or Amy. As far as they knew, I was out sick with the flu. Brutus must have known, but I couldn't be sure — my mom was handling the school stuff.

So, for the past four days, I wasted away in my room burning through cough drops, ibuprofen, and just about everything else my mom could think of to stave off flu symptoms — including the world's worst soup. For a lot of people my age, sick days are a golden ticket to lounge around and slack off, but for me at this very moment, it was hell. Not only was I in crazy trouble with my mom, but I was keeping a secret from my friends, losing out on the only real goal I'd ever had in my life, and I also had the flu. It couldn't have been a cold? I once heard the superhero Jump King beat a supervillain while he had the flu. I just can't help but wonder — did we have the same flu? It feels weird to focus on, but it's been hard to think about anything else. Whenever I try to text Ri it's a shooting pain in my head that makes me look away from the screen. If I try to stand up, I fall over. If I lay down wrong, my nostrils get blocked and I can't breathe. And that's not even mentioning the cough.

Whenever I did have the strength to look at my phone, though, it was nothing but texts from my classmates wishing me a speedy recovery. It was bittersweet. It was nice to hear, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to them and act like everything was okay. It was also hard not to imagine all of the texts were just a formality. It was hard to imagine they had even noticed I was gone. It was probably just business as usual for them. That meant I was mostly leaving them on delivered. All except for Ri. I'm pretty sure it's bad manners to leave your girlfriend's texts unanswered, even if you do have the flu. At least as far as I knew. I still wasn't quite sure what boyfriend etiquette fully entailed. Whatever the case may be, I pushed through my headache and fatigue to respond to her texts, which pretty much boiled down to her checking on me and asking what my temperature was. Likewise, I wasn't sure what exactly qualified as girlfriend etiquette, but I assumed this was pretty par for the course.

The only other thing that was available for me to do was stare at my hero costume as it lay in a clump in the corner of my room like a lizard's recently shed skin. That activity, however, provided little stimulation aside from the constant feeling of guilt and the crushing anxiety you get when you feel like you haven't finished an important task. Not that I could escape those feelings in the first place, but at this point it was salt in a wound.

Ding!

I was startled by my phone on the afternoon of day four after not having gotten a text since the previous night. I gingerly reached for it and gave my notifications a peek. It was Ri — no surprise there.

copycat: how ya feelin? :)

With one eye squeezed shut, I turned my phone's brightness down to zero and got to work on my response. Truthfully, I was feeling a bit better, but I wasn't near tip-top shape. Migraine-level headaches and a terrible cough were an evil combination. At least I didn't have a fever at the time — Tylenol is a gift from heaven. But my mental state was in a ditch, which no doubt made me feel worse than I probably would have been otherwise.

emmy: better! head killing me even with all these drugs in my system lol

copycat: 3

copycat: i might be on your side of town later maybe i could stop by?

I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. My mom didn't know I hadn't told my classmates yet. In the middle of typing up an excuse about why she couldn't come to see me, I paused. I couldn't lie to her. I erased the response and started fresh. I had to tell her soon. In-person would be way better than over text.

emmy: ill wear a mask lmao

emmy: what's the occasion?

copycat: do I need an occasion to visit my sick boyfriend I haven't seen in almost two weeks?

I don't pick up on tone very easily, but I could imagine she was being sarcastic.

copycat: im visiting the taskmaster agency later today they loved my performance at the internship!

I paused. I hadn't even given a second thought to how my classmates' internships went. I was probably missing out on so many cool stories and developments in their quirks. Just another reason to beat myself up, I guess. But I couldn't let Ri know that I was jealous beyond belief.

emmy: YEAH

emmy: thats so cool!

copycat: :D

copycat: ill tell you more later

copycat: brutus is napping at his desk but I think hes gonna wake up soon

copycat: how does 5 sound?

I bit my proverbial tongue.

emmy: great! I'll let my mom know

I tossed my phone onto my bed and let out a loud groan as I slowly rose to sit up. I took my first proper look at the state of my bedroom since I confined myself four days ago. All things considered, it wasn't bad. Aside from the thick layer of dust on everything, most of the mess came down to laundry that I was too feeble to take care of littering the floor. The rest of it was mostly cough drop wrappers tossed haphazardly onto the floor. I decided I'd get to that after talking to my mom.

So, for the first time in four days, I hobbled my way to the stairs and made my way to the living room where my mom was typing away at her laptop. She glanced up at me as I trotted down the stairs and shot me a smile.

"You feeling better?" She asked as she moved her eyes back to the screen, still typing.

"Hm?" I took a second to register the question. "Yeah, comparatively."

"That's good," My mom responded, still looking at her laptop. "You taken any Tylenol today?"

I could tell she was about to launch into an explanation about how I can take so many Tylenol a day and alternate between it and ibuprofen so I shut that down real quick.

"Yeah, plenty — my girlfriend is coming over," I blurted out. That's what got my mom to look up. If I wasn't already beating myself up, I was beating myself black and blue right about then.

"While you're sick?" She threw up her eyebrows. "That's gonna be a no."

"I haven't seen her since before the internship," I said. "She's gonna be on this side of town anyways."

"What's she doing down here?" She asked. I sighed.

"She has a meeting with Taskmaster. I already said she could come over and I'm gonna wear a mask." I pushed. "You're already pulling me out of school. Can I please just have this?"

She sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I'm not gonna get into this with you again—"

"Please," I cut her off. She pursed her lips.

"Fine," She caved. "What time will she be here?"

I sighed in relief, though, truth be told I almost didn't want to have to face Ri.

"Five," I said. My mom nodded.

"Alright," She went back to typing away on her laptop. That was my cue to go back upstairs and get dressed before she changed her mind as she was apt to do.

I practically slammed my door shut when I got back to my room. The last time I interacted with it, it had seemed much heavier. I guess I was just that much stronger now. I didn't dwell on it too much — most things were easier now after my months of training and working out — and instead kicked all of my cough drop wrappers under my bed as I had forgotten to grab a trash bag and wasn't about to walk back downstairs to grab one. Next, I grabbed my costume as if it were a dead animal and shoved it into a dresser drawer. It didn't matter to me if it was folded neatly as I was probably never going to wear it again.

I checked the time. 3:22. Class was going to get out in about thirty minutes, leaving me more than enough time to get dressed. As quickly as I could muster, I pulled my plain black shirt off and replaced it with an identical plain black shirt. Then, I slipped out of an oversized pair of sweatpants, trading them for an old pair of blue jeans I found in my dresser. An extremely plain outfit but it would do the job just fine. I looked at my phone again to check the time. 3:24.

I audibly groaned and laid back down on my bed, hands covering my eyes to block out the light. This was going to be the longest hour and a half of my life. Well… At least the top ten. I'd had some pretty boring days being an only child. I instinctively reached for my phone but ended up staring at it, unsure what I grabbed it for. I started to scan the screen for anything to do just to pass the time. I did that for about a minute before my eyes landed on my web browser. I cocked my head to the left and tapped it, suddenly being overwhelmed by curiosity. I tapped the search bar and slowly started to type.

'Charles Blake'

My mom had never let me look him up because, according to her, the entire accident report was available online and she didn't want me to read it. Understandable — if he really had died in a car accident. Now that I knew the truth, though… I wanted to know more about him. This was the only way I could think to learn more. I tapped the search icon and waited for the results to load.

The first one I saw was his obituary from the city newspaper. The picture they used was one I'd seen many times; a cropped photo of him next to my mom. He wore big square glasses with rounded corners and sported a huge goofy grin. My mom said he looked like me, but I could never see it. Maybe if I had glasses like his. In any case, I swiped past the obituary and found an article from the week after he died.

'The Role of Vigilantism in the Case of Charles Blake'

I immediately tapped into the article. The photo next to the headline was the same one from his obituary — only this time it was displayed next to a blurry CCTV screengrab. My heart sped up intensely when I laid eyes on it. In the photo was a man — my dad — wearing what was unmistakably a hero costume standing in front of another man in the fetal position, protecting him from three other men in masks with some sort of mutation or transformation quirks that gave them huge muscles and animal heads; what looked like a wolf, a tiger, and a bear. Outstretched in my dad's hands were what looked like two escrima sticks. Gear not unlike what I, myself, carried. I zoomed into the picture to try and make out the details of his costume, but the picture simply didn't have enough pixels.

I frantically scrolled through the article until I saw a video attached in the middle of it. It was from the same CCTV camera that the headline image was from, so it was the same terrible quality. Nevertheless, it was more than enough to capture my entire attention span. The video started out showing an empty parking lot. Then a man ran into the frame, clearly having been beaten up already. Immediately following him was the man with the wolf head, who latched onto him with his huge jaws and tossed him like a ragdoll. The tiger and bear men followed. I glanced at the article again and saw they were referred to as the "ani-men". The ani-men started to beat on the man for about five seconds before a small object flew into frame and clattered against the ground. Before I had time to question what it was, it exploded into a ball of sparks, knocking the ani-men back onto their butts and disorienting them. Immediately after, another man sprinted into frame. My dad.

"Whoa," I muttered. "A flashbang…"

My mind started to race with possibilities for my own loadout before I remembered I couldn't be a hero anymore.

The video continued with my dad launching himself forward, slamming into the tiger man's shoulder first, tackling him. The tiger man quickly kicked him off and into the bear man, who grabbed him by the back of his neck and slammed him into the ground hard. I cringed, but my dad either didn't feel the blow or didn't care. He shot right back up to his feet and pulled an escrima stick from his back, swinging it in a wide arc and slamming it into the bear man's head. The wolf man tried to catch him off guard with a bite to the calf, but my dad was faster, swiping his weapon low and striking the wolf man in his nose. In the same motion, he spun around and kicked the tiger man in his stomach.

I was shell-shocked at what I was witnessing. Not only because I was watching my dad act as a vigilante, but because these were my moves. The moves Nathan taught me.

The tiger man grabbed my dad by the ankle and yanked him back before striking an elbow into his back, sending him straight to the asphalt. Immediately, the ani-men started laying into him again.

"Get up…" I muttered as if I was watching a hero fight live on the news instead of a vigilante fight on fifteen-year-old CCTV at ten frames per second.

My dad curled into the fetal position before swinging his escrima sticks wildly, striking the ani-men in their knees, giving him just enough time to shoot to his feet and kick the bear man away. He followed that up with the toss of a smoke bomb that obscured not only the view of the ani-men but the view of the camera. I completely lost sight of the men. Eventually, one of the ani-men was ejected from the cloud of smoke, followed by my dad who landed on the ground in a roll. The other two ani-men walked out of the cloud, with the tiger man reaching for the victim my dad was defending and the wolf man approaching my dad. The wolf man reached for my dad's mask but recoiled immediately upon making contact. I couldn't exactly decipher what happened, but my dad shot to his feet once more and leaped, sending his knee straight into the wolf man's face and knocking him to the ground.

"Yes!" I cheered and immediately regretted it. My head was pounding once again, so I shut up, gritted my teeth, and kept watching.

My dad followed up that swift knee to the wolf with a big shove on the tiger man, freeing the victim from his grasp. The tiger stumbled back as my dad took his defensive stance in front of the man as he cradled his face and rolled back and forth on the ground. The wolf and the bear both pulled themselves to their feet. My dad wasn't having any of it. He waved his escrima sticks defensively at them as he stood his ground.

Suddenly, the video changed to one from a low-quality phone camera. This one was in color, but it was substantially shakier. Almost of a worse quality, but this one had sound when the CCTV had none.

"-piece of shit?" One of the ani-men said. I couldn't pick out which one it was because the video was shot from behind them.

"Maybe he is," Another voice piped up. My eyes widened. It hadn't occurred to me before. I had never heard my dad talk. "I don't care."

"Idiot!" Another one of the ani-men spoke. "He's a junkie that's just gonna get himself killed next week anyways."

The cameraman moved out from behind a bunch of trash cans to get a look at my dad. My breath was taken away yet again. His costume was similar to mine. Lightweight armor plating that allowed for quick movements with a set of escrima sticks. But his differed from mine in two major ways; the colors and the mask. His costume was a mix of vibrant blues and silver. The suit underneath the armor was blue with hints of black around the thighs and stomach, but the armor was a nice shiny blue with silver accents. The mask was the same blue as the armor, I guess making it more of a helmet. Instead of two mesh lenses over the eyes like mine, he had one silver visor covering his eyes that almost didn't look see-through. Covering his mouth was a shiny silver piece of armor preventing him from getting his teeth knocked out.

My dad didn't falter.

"You really wanna die for him?" The bear (I think) asked as he extended razor-sharp claws.

"Do you really wanna fight this guy three-on-one?! You want me to make it easy for you and leave?" My dad retorted, keeping his defensive stance. "Yeah, I'll die for him. As long as it's a fair fight!"

Blue and red lights begin to flash in the distance, signaling the coming arrival of police.

"Try me," My dad growled. The ani-men all took a step back.

"Freak," The tiger man muttered as the trio backed off and started running from the police. My dad slowly dropped his stance and holstered his escrima sticks.

"What?" My dad reacted to some words that weren't picked up by the phone's mic. He kneeled to the man on the ground and held out his hand.

"T-thank you," The man sputtered as he reached out to take my dad's hand. My dad pulled the man to his feet and patted his shoulders.

"It's nothing," My dad told him. "Just get home safe."

He turned his back on the man and began to sprint, ending the video. I stared at the screen after it ended, looking at my reflection in the black mirror.

That was my dad.

My dad.

That was really him.

I let it wash over me as I scrolled through the rest of the article and stared longingly at each of the photos of him — even though they were mostly crappy CCTV stills. I was in awe. Until I remembered what the article was really about.

The last image in the article was that of a dumpster. It would almost look like any other if not for the fact that my dad's mask was balled up in the corner, caked in blood. In the opposite corner was a blurred pile of… Something. I wasn't about to speculate. I squeezed my eyes shut and fought back bile before I continued to read.

Some view The Paragon as a symbol of defiance against lawlessness, while others caution that this tragedy underscores the risks associated with unsanctioned superhero activities and fight for tighter regulations around vigilantism.

The world slowed to a crawl and I could no longer hold back the bile. My mind kept going back to the censored image and I couldn't take it anymore. It flashed in my mind uncontrollably and his voice became impossibly loud in my mind. I imagined his screams. I imagined the terror he felt when his life was ripped away. My phone soon fell out of my hands as they began to shake and my sight was drawn down to the six small scars on my forearm. One for each entrance and exit wound from Tessa's claws.

Tears welled up in my eyes as vomit crawled its way up my throat. I rushed to the bathroom and let it all go, with tears rushing out of my eyes until eventually, my stomach was empty. With nothing left to give, I dry heaved as I sobbed. And then I kept sobbing until I had nothing left to give. Until my vocal cords were shredded and all I could muster was a weak rasp. Until my eyes had no more tears to cry. Then I was finally able to catch my breath.

Zz-zz

I shot to attention as I heard my phone vibrate from the floor where I dropped it. That couldn't be Ri, could it? I scrambled to my phone and fumbled it as I checked the time. 4:15. Beneath the clock I saw a new message from Ri, just as I had feared.

copycat: hey im ahead of schedule, ill be there soon!

My heart stopped.

"Man…" I muttered to myself as I caught a glimpse of my face in my reflection. Puffy, red eyes. Bedhead. Tear-stained cheeks. I shook myself off and tossed my phone onto my bed before going back to the bathroom and splashing my face generously with water as I tried to snap myself out of whatever stupor I was in. My dad's voice still rang in my head, though. He wouldn't leave. All I wanted was quiet. I squeezed my eyes shut and planted my hands firmly on either side of my bathroom sink as I took deep breaths. "Dad…"

I choked on the word. I had never gotten to call him that. I'd never gotten to have a conversation with him about heroes. He was never able to pass on what he knew to me. He was never able to know me. I didn't know him. Maybe if I had then I could have gotten into a real hero school. I almost certainly wouldn't have run into Voss that day. Everything would have been so much easier if my dad had been around to teach me what he knew.

You want me to make it easy for you?

Suddenly, those words from my dad cut through all the noise. Above everything else, I heard him standing up to the ani-men and proudly proclaiming that he doesn't want it to be easy. For him or them. My eyes snapped open and suddenly everything went quiet again. The trembling subsided. The world resumed spinning.

"Right," I locked eyes with myself in the mirror. "Voss is still out there."

While I didn't have a plan immediately, I left the bathroom with a goal yet again. I didn't know how, but I would finish what I started.

Knock-knock!

Immediately, the wind was taken out of my sails. I'd have to catch up with Ri first. Before making my way downstairs, I grabbed a medical mask from my dresser and threw it on.

As I trotted down the stairs, I intercepted my mom, who was about to open the door.

"No!" I blurted with a raspy voice. My mom stopped what she was doing and seemingly restrained herself from scolding me, but ultimately backed off and allowed me to get the door. Ri greeted me with a huge smile and motioned to give me a huge hug, but I backed off and gestured to the mask. "Sorry! Don't wanna give you the plague."

I rasped.

"Right! Sorry!" Ri exclaimed and settled for blowing a kiss at me. I nervously glanced at my mom, causing Ri to peek around the corner and get a glimpse of her. "Hi! Are you Emmet's mom?"

"I'm surprised he mentioned me," My mom half-joked. I brushed it off and shook my head.

"Yeah, why don't I just come out—" I paused when I heard some scuffling outside and noticed a mischievous grin on Ri's face. I smiled nervously in return, not that she could tell. "What's up?"

"I kind of brought you something," She said with a growing smile as she stepped to the side and motioned for me to take a look. Skeptical, I took a peek around the corner and laid eyes on my eighteen other classmates trying desperately to contain laughter. I couldn't help but crack a smile, but I quickly felt dread start to grow in my stomach as I began to imagine how they'd react when they found out I wouldn't be going back to school.

"HIIIIIII!" Everybody exclaimed as they started waving at me, with some of them even jumping up and down.

"Wh-" I began to speak but quickly realized I was speechless. Everyone looked so excited. I couldn't place it at first but as I took it all in it dawned on me. Were they excited to see me? Every single one of them? So much so that they were literally jumping for joy? "What are you guys doing here?"

James was the first to speak up.

"We missed you, dude!" He walked up and put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm not gonna hug you because, like, flu or whatever."

I nodded and put my hand on his shoulder in return.

"You missed me?" I asked under my breath.

"Of course we did," Ri assured me. The rest of the class nodded their heads furiously and spoke over each other to confirm. I looked at each one of my classmates and studied their faces. Everyone looked sincere. Nobody looked bored. They really did just come here for me.

Before I knew it, my eyes started to well up with tears and I began to blink rapidly to clear them up. I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and laughed sheepishly.

"I don't know what to say," I rasped and chuckled as more tears began to fall. I quickly tried to keep wiping them away, but it was to no avail. "S-sorry."

I stuttered as I pulled the collar of my shirt to my face and wiped away my tears.

"You don't have to say anything," James assured me. "I'd actually prefer you not. It sounds like it hurts you."

I cleared my throat and nodded.

"Little bit," I winced and looked at everybody again before landing on Amy, though as soon as I locked eyes with her, she averted her gaze and crossed her arms. I panicked and looked back to Ri, who hadn't taken her eyes off of me. "I wish I could hug you guys."

"We'll be waiting for it when you're back at school, bro," Luca piped up. I dropped my head and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, man," I agreed, even though I felt like I was about to explode. "I'm counting on it."

I crossed my fingers and raised them to show everybody.

"Did you think we weren't going to miss you?" Hope asked. I looked at her and suddenly felt weak in the knees. Even Hope, who I didn't think paid attention to me, showed up to see me. How was it that everybody here wanted to give up time from their day to see me?

"I just… No one's ever paid attention to me like this," It was true. Before high school, none of my school friends ever came to my house and certainly never just to check on me.

"Well," Claire began with a huge smile. "You'd better get used to it. Another week and we'll be having class on the porch."

Everyone spoke up in agreement. I opened my mouth to respond, but I had nothing. I was stunned, but I was also feeling a sense of dread grow. What was I supposed to do now? Tell them I wouldn't be back and they were wasting their time? Message them all individually that I won't be back once I'm better? Let Brutus break the news? All of these options felt terrible and each new idea I had seemed worse than the last. I inhaled deeply again and looked at everybody.

"Thank you, guys," I said as sincerely as I could. "I'll — I'll see you."

"Cuttin' it short already?" James asked with a lopsided grin. I chuckled and looked down at my feet to hide my worried expression.

"Yeah, I'm just — I'm exhausted," I lied. Well, half-lied. I really was exhausted but I felt the need to wrap things up for my own good. I was afraid if I spent any more time in everyone's presence, I'd either start sobbing or I'd break the news. Both of those sounded less than ideal, so I figured I'd get everyone on their way and cross the other bridge when I got to it.

"Emmet, don't leave the door hanging—" My mom began as she rounded the corner and poked her head out the door. She clearly must not have heard the commotion before, because the look on her face can't be described in any way other than "discovered eighteen children huddled together on the porch". "Oh! I didn't realize there were more of you."

Everyone busted out laughing, save for me. I was red hot.

"I remember some of you from move-in day," My mom said as she scanned the group, taking a second look at Drew specifically. "What's the occasion?"

I suddenly found the ground really interesting and diverted my attention to it.

"We missed him," Amy said her first words. I glanced at my mom and saw her eyes narrow.

"Uh-huh," My mom was clearly not impressed by her presence. I could tell she thought I was roped into the whole Voss thing by Amy somehow. That was mostly my fault. I had been keeping the details of what happened pretty vague. "You guys are all his friends?"

I deflated as her words hit my ear. She didn't believe I could have this many friends. She thought of me as a nobody.

Overlapping words of agreement flowed out of the crowd.

"I'm his best one, though, in case you were wondering," James spoke over everyone else and stepped forward.

"You're an idiot, I'm his best friend by default as his girlfriend," Ri shoved him playfully.

My mom stayed quiet for a minute.

"Well…" She crossed her arms. "What do you guys say you catch up when he's back at school?"

My heart started beating out of my chest immediately and my head shot up. I almost opened my mouth to start yelling, but I caught myself. My face started to heat up and my chest got tight.

How could she say that? She's just getting their hopes up. What am I going to do now?

I wanted nothing more than for a trapdoor to open beneath me. I didn't care what was under it.

Everyone wanted to protest, but Ri spoke for the group.

"That's probably for the best," She said cheerfully as she put a hand on my shoulder. "I've got an interview to get to anyway."

A chorus of 'fineeeee' and 'okayyyy' slowly started to project from the group before they all came up to wish me goodbye.

"We'll see you later, man. You gotta tell me about that supervillain you fought, Amy's light on the details," Luca fist-bumped me and motioned to Amy, who was right next to him and the last one to say goodbye.

"It's an active police investigation, dumba—" Amy stopped herself and glanced at my mom. "Stupid."

"I'll tell you what I can," I forced the words out even though I knew I'd probably never get the chance.

Amy reached into her pocket when Luca stepped away and grabbed my hand, which sent a shock through my body. Ri shifted her weight slightly next to me. Amy gently placed something in my hand, which turned out to be a small succulent no larger than a hermit crab.

"It doesn't need to be watered. It gets its moisture from the air," She told me quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't do more."

She whispered the last part but stepped away before I could ask what she meant.

"I'll see you at school, yeah?" Ri stepped in front of me. I tore my eyes away from Amy and looked at Ri, nodding.

"I'll see you," I rasped. The pit in my stomach grew larger than I ever thought possible. My head felt like it had when I had received a concussion from Tessa — like scrambled eggs. Lights were too bright, sounds were too loud, and everything was too much. It felt like I was going to fall over. She slowly stepped away and walked down the porch stairs as I stepped into my front door with my mom. As soon as it was closed, I felt a weight release off my chest, and white-hot rage flooded my body.

"Why would you tell them that?!" I yelled, hot tears streaming down my cheeks finally. I didn't feel it at the time, but I knew my throat was going to be angry at me later. "You know I won't be there!"

"Emmet—"

"I've NEVER had friends like that!" I interrupted. "What am I gonna tell them?!"

"Listen to me—"

"NO!" I screamed. My vision was fuzzy at the edges. My hands flew up to my head and I grabbed a handful of hair in each of them before I pressed my back against the door and slid to the floor. "I've heard it before! You have NO idea what it's like for me! I FINALLY had something I wanted. That day at Casey's house, she said I — she said—"

I started to get choked up as I realized something. I was about to make up a reason for why I wanted to go to a hero school so badly. For why I needed to catch Voss so badly.

"What, honey?" My mom kneeled to my level. I took a deep breath and loosened the grip I had on my hair.

"She said I saved her," I said. "It felt good."

I sat for a moment. I couldn't believe it had never occurred to me. Of course, I had wanted to be a hero, but it was more passive than anything. Hearing 8-Ball tell me I couldn't be a hero without a quirk didn't crush some dream I had, it just made me feel useless. But it had become my dream after that, I just couldn't tell.

"There weren't any heroes around," I continued. "It was just me when I walked into her house and even though I knew it was dangerous, my feet just… They started moving. I know you probably think this hero thing is something I can give up, but I just feel like I finally know what I have to do."

My mom hung her head and scooted over so she was sitting against the door next to me.

"That's what your dad told me," She said quietly. I turned and looked at her wiping tears from her eyes. "His first night out, he came home stabbed. He was stitching himself up at the dining room table, cussing up a storm before he realized I was watching him. He told me he wasn't crazy. He just knew what he had to do."

"I won't get myself killed," I grumbled. "I'm getting the training he never got."

"I know," My mom said. "And you're gonna keep getting it. That's why I told them you can finish catching up at school."

I scoffed before I registered what she had said.

"What?" I blinked and more tears fell down my face.

"I didn't know how good you were doing," She admitted quietly. "I never asked you about school after you came back."

That was true. The last four days we haven't really spoken much to each other and I wasn't about to gush to her about the school she had pulled me out of.

"You're serious?" I asked, incredulous. "You're gonna let me go back?"

Gears were already spinning in my head as the wind filled my sails again. I had to stop myself before I began to formulate my next plan to take down Voss.

"I hope I don't need to explain the caveats," My mom sighed. I couldn't help but smile.

"I promise I'll call you every weekend and I won't sneak out again," I said quickly as I wiped the tears from my eyes. "And I'm sorry for yelling."

"Emmet, I'm not mad about that," She assured me as she wrapped an arm around me. Tingles ran up my back as she pulled me in close. I was taken aback at first, but I soon realized that I just hadn't hugged my mom in months. I was depriving myself of her. "Just don't make it a habit."

"I won't," I closed my eyes to rest my throbbing head.

"But I will be mad if you don't tell me about what else you've been up to at school,"

I scoffed and gestured with my nerve-damaged hand. The twitching had subsided since Tessa had stabbed me, but it definitely wasn't back to normal.

"I mean it," My mom asserted. "For starters, your girlfriend. That's new. How did you meet her?"

I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

"Halloween," I breathed, preparing for her to get angry again about how long it took for me to talk about her.

"She's pretty," She said, nudging me with her elbow. Some of the tension was released.

"Yeah…" I trailed off. Of course, she was. Ri was pretty. She was nice. She was funny. But there was just something she wasn't. "There's, uh, another girl I like."

Almost a whisper. I could barely even hear myself say it. A truth I'd been suppressing for the past few months and it was now just out in the open. I'm pretty sure that's something you're not allowed to say as a boyfriend, but like I said, I'm not an expert on relationship etiquette.

But my mom heard it.

"Oh?" Not a hint of judgment in her voice. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and suddenly it all started to come out.

"It's all so confusing, Mom," I whined. "I don't get why I like Amy so much more than Ri. Ri's fantastic, she's everything a girlfriend should be, I think. I just — I don't feel anything when I'm with her. I haven't since I got over the stupid butterflies."

"So why did you wanna go out with her?" My mom asked. I fidgeted and tugged at the skin on the back of my nerve-damaged hand.

"Lotta reasons," I grumbled. "Amy had a boyfriend. He… Didn't like me. And I don't think she likes me that way."

"Hm," My mom inhaled sharply. "Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?"

I didn't answer immediately.

"Listen," I breathed. "I don't even know where I'm going with this, I've just never said it out loud. It's like I'm stuck inside my own head sometimes."

"I get that."

I winced. Obviously. My mom didn't get to talk about her feelings just as much as I didn't talk about mine. Probably more.

"Right," I said and tugged harder at the skin on my hand. "You can give me advice."

She pulled my injured hand away from the other and kissed it gently.

"I think you know what I'm gonna say," She told me. I shook my head even though I knew she was right. "You have to break up with Ri."

I groaned.

"I don't even know how to do that," I imagine I sounded like a toddler being asked to put his toys away.

"She likes you a lot, doesn't she?" My mom asked. I stiffened my whole body and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Yeah," I forced out. "She does."

"And you don't feel the same way," My mom continued. "I know you know where I'm going with this. Use that big brain of yours."

I groaned again. The mere thought of the emotional turmoil this could bring made me want to leap into a void.

"You can't string her along," My mom drove the point home. "I know how girls work. It'll hurt less the sooner you break it off."

"It's gonna hurt me regardless," I complained.

"I wasn't talking about hurting you," My mom quickly clarified. I froze. "I mean, yeah. Of course, it'll hurt you. But it'll hurt her more if she thinks that you want the same thing she wants."

She's right. I couldn't think of a counterargument if I'd tried.

"I'll get around to it," I mumbled. I'm not sure my mom was entirely convinced, but she dropped the subject and squeezed my hand.

I lifted my head and immediately remembered why I had put it down. The splitting headache made me wish I had carried the sunglasses Amy gave me everywhere.

"Is it okay if I go back to bed?" I asked timidly.

"I was hoping you'd wanna get off this floor soon," My mom groaned as she stood up, then took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I winced hard as the blood flowed to my brain. While no stranger to headaches, I gotta say, flu headaches are a different breed. It felt like someone was trying to pry my skull open with the claws of a hammer. I almost didn't have the decency to hug my mom because the pain was so dominant in my mind.

Almost.

I pulled her into a huge hug and buried my face into her shoulder.

"Thank you," I tried my best to project my muffled, gravelly voice.

"Of course," My mom whispered as she ran a hand through my messy hair. "Get some rest."

She nudged me and I turned to head up the stairs to my room. Once I made it, though, rest was the last thing on my mind. My eyes landed on my hero costume, partially hanging out of my dresser drawer. I was already making plans for how I'd catch back up on my workouts when I got better and you can bet my phone was already out and messaging Colin about potential upgrades. As soon as I figured out how to tell him I lost my grappling hook, I was gonna be unstoppable.

The gears I had tried to stop spinning earlier were now running at full tilt.

I was not going to make life easy for Voss.

Thanks, Dad. I thought. You finally got to teach me something.

I swear to god, I will not give up on this story. Anyway, I've changed a lot since I started writing this and imma be honest. Probably not gonna continue the abusive relationship plot line. I think I didn't handle it the best so uhhhh yeah it'll probably be touched on a couple more times and closed out relatively quick. Amy you will have your day in the sun I need you to be an interesting character. Also. I've been trying to write with more personality for Emmets inner monologue and I hope it's coming across. I feel like I did a lot of good inner monologue at the beginning and then in the middle chapters I fell off. Idk. Let me know what you guys think sound off in the reviews if you're a certified Reject Society enjoyer. This WILL get finished mark my words.