Standing in the Coulter's bedroom, Nathan looked at himself in the grey suit he wore. The suit had seemed fine for Ned and Florence's wedding. However, looking at his reflection, Nathan though that his mother would probably cringe at the idea of him getting married in this suit, telling him that his own wedding required something more dignified, but it was the best he owned. His brown suit would have never worked. Nathan glanced at the bed where his dress uniform lay.
When Rosemary had first talked them into dressing up for the occasion, Nathan had decided he would simply wear his dress uniform. However, as the day progressed, he had gone back and forth on it. He knew the uniform scared Elizabeth, and with good reason. That coupled with the fact that he was ending his career with the Mounties in a couple of months, made him think it wasn't appropriate. He had put on both the suit and the uniform before coming back to the suit.
There was a knock on the door, followed by Lee's voice. "Nathan, are you all right. Everyone is gathered downstairs. We are just waiting for you."
Nathan sighed as he looked back to the mirror. This should not be such a big deal.
"Nathan!" Gabriel called, his friend's concern evident in the way he had said his name.
"Come in," Nathan told them.
The door opened. Lee walked in followed by Gabriel. Nathan met his friend's gaze and knew that Gabriel instantly knew something was up. Dressed in his own dress uniform, Gabriel pushed the bedroom door shut before asking, "are you having second thoughts?"
"Not about what I am doing," Nathan told him. "I have no doubts about dedicating my life to care for Elizabeth and Jack no matter what doing that looks like. I just can't decide what to wear. I feel like my mother would be disappointed if I got married in this suit but I know the uniform scares Elizabeth."
Lee burst out laughing as he sat on the bed next to Nathan's dress uniform. Nathan turned to glare at his friend, though Gabriel wore an amused smile himself.
Lee held up a hand as he quickly got his laughter under control. "I am sorry. I should not have laughed but I never thought I would see the day that Nathan Grant would be lamenting over the way he dressed."
"Glad you find this humorous," Nathan said dryly.
"Well, I think you and I have come up with several good reasons not to wear the dress uniform while on rounds today," Gabriel said, pushing his amusement aside and growing serious.
Having chosen to take the Hope Valley posting, Gabriel had remained in town even though Nathan was back at work. For the next few months, the two Mounties would work together. Faith had been prepared to return to Brookfield and fulfill her duties as doctor until she found a replacement doctor for the town or the time for the wedding arrived. That had proven unnecessary as hearing about the plans, Dr. Simmons had proposed that they simply change towns. Dr. Simmons' son had been having difficulty in Hope Valley's school the last year. The doctor and his wife were hoping that their son would do better in a different school. So instead of going back for an extended stay, Faith had returned to Brookfield to let Maggie know about the change and pack up her and Gabriel's things. Jesse and Clara had made the trip with her so that she would have help and did not have to make the trip alone. Jesse had promised Gabriel that he would make sure Faith got back to Hope Valley safely.
"So," Gabriel continued, "what is the issue with the suit."
Nathan shrugged. "I just keep remembering my mother always saying that you should not look ordinary on your wedding day," he said looking into the mirror. "This seems ordinary to me," Nathan said lifting his arms slightly to the side.
Having recovered his composure, Lee crossed over to his dresser. Opening a top drawer, he found a black bow tie. "Maybe this will help," Lee replied, crossing back over to Nathan.
Standing in front of his friend, Lee undid the tie Nathan was wearing and replaced it with the bow tie. He then removed the red rose that his wife had pinned to his vest and fastened it onto Nathan's jacket.
"I think Rosemary will forgive me for removing the flower for this reason," Lee told his friend. He moved aside and standing beside Nathan, gazed at their reflections in the mirror. "Does that work better for you?"
"Other than I feel like I am being choked, yes," Nathan said.
Lee chuckled. "You are talking so you are getting enough air to get through for this ceremony," he informed Nathan.
Gabriel closed the distance between him and Nathan. Reaching into the breast pocket of his uniform jacket, he removed Elizabeth's locket. "Rosemary gave this to me. She told me that Elizabeth gave it to her for safe keeping as her having it angered Lucas. Elizabeth would not accept it back until she knew Lucas was out of her life. Rosemary thought it would be best if the locket was given back to Elizabeth by you."
Nathan held out his hand and let Gabriel put the locket in his hand. "I never would have given it to Elizabeth as a Christmas gift if I knew it would cause trouble," he said, looking down at it. He opened it and saw Jack Sr.'s face staring back at him.
"You gave it to Elizabeth as a way to hold onto Jack Sr.," Lee commented, laying a hand on Nathan's arm. "There was nothing wrong with that then and there is nothing wrong with it now. In fact, it does seem fitting. It will tell Elizabeth that you recognize and respect the place that Jack Sr. will always have in her life."
"Jack is as much a part of our family as Colleen is, even if they are only part of it in memories."
Lee nodded. "Seems like enough of a reason to give Elizabeth her locket back to me," the man said softly.
"I'll give this to Elizabeth before Bill starts the ceremony," Nathan stated, as his hand closed around it.
"Are you ready, then?" Gabriel asked.
"I think so," Nathan replied.
"You are doing a good thing, Nathan," Lee told him. "I wish Elizabeth had opened up to us before it came to all of this, but it is a relief to Rosemary and myself to know that she is going to be taken care of from this point on. If there is anything any of you need, just let us know."
"Thank you," Nathan replied.
The three men left the bedroom and headed downstairs. Rosemary met them at the foot of the stairs. "Where is your flower, Lee?" was the first thing out of the woman's mouth.
Lee simply pointed to Nathan.
"It actually looks better on Nathan," Rosemary teased her husband.
"Funny," Lee told her as the group moved to join the others by the fireplace.
Allie and Opal were standing to the side, entertaining Jack. Bill was standing directly in front of the fireplace, a nervous looking Elizabeth standing with him. Having already spoken to both Nathan and Elizabeth before this, Bill was prepared to perform the ceremony. As he went to join Bill and Elizabeth, Nathan noticed that Elizabeth was wearing the pretty green dress she had worn at the graduation ceremony the year that Robert had graduated. Nathan could not deny that Elizabeth looked just as beautiful right now as she did then.
"I couldn't decide what to wear but Ally told me that you thought I looked pretty in this dress," Elizabeth told him, having noticed Nathan's gaze taken in her attire.
"Beautiful works better than pretty," Nathan told her softly. "There is just one thing needed to make it perfect," he added holding up the locket he held.
Elizabeth gasped at the sight of the locket in Nathan's hand but did not say anything as Nathan stepped behind her to put the locket on her. As Elizabeth seemed in shock, Rosemary hurried forward and helped move Elizabeth's hair out of the way for Nathan.
With the locket resting against her dress, Elizabeth reached out to place her hand over top of it. Rosemary let her hair fall back into place and returned to stand next to Lee as Nathan moved to stand back in front of Elizabeth.
"Thank you," Elizabeth told him softly.
"You're welcome," Nathan told her.
Bill then asked them if they were ready. When both Nathan and Elizabeth answered in the affirmative, Bill instructed them to take hands. He led them through their vows, pronouncing them husband and wife at the end. Giving the circumstances, the judge forewent the traditional 'you may kiss the bride' part. Nathan might be willing but he doubted that Elizabeth would. Though he had confidence that Elizabeth would start to acknowledge her feelings for Nathan over time, he knew it couldn't be rushed.
The gathered group retired to the diningroom and shared the evening meal together. The talk was kept casual and away from the event that just took place. After the meal, Bill brought out the cake he had baked. It was a simple, two layered, chocolate cake with 'May God Bless Your Home' on the top. Bill had wracked his brain for something to write on the cake, and that was the best he could think of for the occasion.
After the meal, Gabriel and Ally walked Opal home. Gabriel would then make sure Ally got home safely. Bill walked into town with them, also heading home. Though Elizabeth changed Jack out of his dress clothes, she did not bother changing her own clothes. Other than removing the bow tie, neither did Nathan. The clothes they had been wearing and Mr. Doggie, still Jack's favorite toy, though it was looking worn, were the only things still at the Coulters. Nathan and Elizabeth turned down Lee's offer to drive them home. Instead, Nathan secured their clothes, protected in garment bags, to Newton's saddle. As Nathan led the horse with one hand, he walked beside Elizabeth and Jack as they headed to their home. They had not gone far when Jack insisted that Elizabeth take Mr. Doggie. Wondering at her son's insistence, Elizabeth did so. Her questions were answered shortly after when Jack reached up for Nathan's free hand.
Elizabeth's breath caught. The last time Jack had attempted that with Lucas, the boy's hand had been sticky from his ice cream cone. Lucas had complained loudly about the stickiness and Jack had never attempted it again. As Jack tentatively took hold of Nathan's hand, the man gently took Jack's hand himself, smiling down at the boy.
That was the way they walked home on that first evening.
The first evening went smoothly enough. Nathan helped Elizabeth and Jack get settled in. When Ally got back, father and daughter made popcorn. Ally then retreated to the settee with her own small bowl and a book. Nathan asked Elizabeth to play checkers with him. She agreed, and with the larger bowl of popcorn beside the board in the middle of the small circular table in the corner of the sitting room, Nathan and Elizabeth sat facing each other on either side of the checker board. Nathan settled Jack in his lap, placed a small amount of popcorn in from of Jack while he played. After the boy had his fill in popcorn, Nathan let Jack help him move pieces until it was the boy's bedtime. Claiming to be tired herself, Elizabeth said she planned to retire.
Nathan said goodnight to both of them, placing a kiss on Jack's forehead. He hesitated briefly and the placed a quick kiss on Elizabeth's cheek as well.
"Goodnight, Beth. Goodnight, Jack," Ally called from the settee having closed her book.
"Night, Ally," Jack called back.
"Goodnight, Ally," Elizabeth echoed as she headed upstairs.
Ally then asked Nathan if they could go for a walk. Sensing that his daughter just wanted some time with him, Nathan lit a lantern and the two of them did just that. There was no talking between the pair, but the time together did wonders for the both of them.
Even if that first evening had lulled anyone into thinking the transition would be a smooth one, the following morning would have dispelled that. Having fallen asleep early, Elizabeth was up early as well. After getting ready for the morning, she went down to the kitchen planning on surprising her new family with breakfast. She thought she was doing something nice, and was taken completely off guard by Ally's reaction when the girl came down, Nathan right behind her.
"I cook breakfast for, Dad!" Ally exclaimed, stomping a foot before running for the front door. She forcefully closed the door behind her.
Elizabeth looked from the door to Nathan. "I'm sorry," she said her voice trembling as she struggled with her tears. "I just wanted to earn my keep," she managed to get out.
Nathan opened his mouth to reassure Elizabeth, but his wife hurried for the back door. Nathan looked from the direction Elizabeth had gone, back to the direction of the front door trying to decide which one to console first. Before he could decide, Jack's cries from upstairs reached Nathan's ears. Apparently the commotion had woken the boy. As Jack had not woken up crying when Nathan had kept him while Elizabeth was in the infirmary, Nathan figured the doors closing loudly had upset him. Going to the stove, Nathan quickly moved things from the heat. Then, knowing the young boy had to take priority, Nathan had headed upstairs thanking Gabriel for insisting that he took the day off.
By the time the Grant family sat down for breakfast that morning, the extra time had not done the food any favors. However, Jack had been quieted, Nathan had talked to his daughter and Ally had in turned talked with Elizabeth. Elizabeth had apologized to the girl for treading on something special she did for her Dad. Ally accepted the apology and suggested they make breakfast together the next day. When Elizabeth asked Nathan about his half drunk mug of coffee, he reluctantly admitted that it didn't taste the same as Ally's. The next day, Ally shared with Elizabeth that she added cinnamon to her Dad's coffee in the mornings.
The next couple of weeks were full of ups and downs for the new family and they adjusted to living with one another. On the second night, Jack woke up in the middle of the night screaming that Lucas was after him. When Elizabeth went to console him, Jack had pushed her away saying that he wanted Nathan. Elizabeth tried a few more times before accepting defeat. Getting to her feet, she went to wake Nathan only to find the man waiting right outside the bedroom door.
"He wants you," Elizabeth said, with tears in her eyes as she headed downstairs.
After comforting Jack and getting the boy back to sleep, Nathan went down to console Elizabeth. He sat with her just as long as he had Jack, trying to ease her feelings over being a failure as a mother. Nathan knew it was the emotional abuse she had been subjected to along with her guilt over what Jack had gone through. The following morning, Nathan had stopped by the Coulters on his way into work and implored Rosemary to spend some time with Elizabeth. Rosemary had easily agreed and Nathan was relieved that Elizabeth seemed in better spirits that evening.
Ally and Jack got along and fought in turns. The time that Ally came home to find that Jack had gone into her room and found her journal along with pulling books off her bookshelf, the girl was livid. She had screamed that she wished Jack had never come to live with them. As no damage had been done to the journal, Nathan told her that he doubted Jack understood what he may have read anyway. He helped Ally put the room in order and then put a lock on his daughter's bedroom door, giving her one key and keeping the other for himself.
As for Jack, at times the boy seemed like a normal four year old. Other times he was withdrawn. Nightmares sometimes disturbed the nights. Nathan felt for the boy, his own nightmare occasionally disturbing his night. One night, Nathan had reprimanded Ally sternly for talking back to Elizabeth and the boy had dissolved into tears.
It wasn't just the issues at home either. People talked about the sudden marriage. As most in the community knew what kind of people Nathan and Elizabeth were, the dominant assumption was that whatever crime Lucas had been charged with had resulted in him leaving Elizabeth with nothing. As a result, her only option was to marry Nathan so that he could support her. Only Elizabeth's closest friends knew that the crimes that Lucas had been charged with were the abuse of her and Jack. That assumption was the rumor that no one who knew the truth, bothered disputing, figuring it was close enough to the truth.
However, some were not as kind in their assumptions. Some rumors claimed that Elizabeth had cheated on Lucas with Nathan. That Lucas had shot Nathan in revenge and Nathan had married Elizabeth because she was pregnant with his child. Knowing that time would prove that last part wrong, Nathan tried to ignore it. He even gave that advice to Ally when his daughter came running up to him as he came back from rounds with tears streaming down her face. Though he acknowledged her feelings, Nathan told her that they knew the truth as did their friends. He told her that her close friends' opinions were the ones that mattered.
However, when a comment was made to him about whether he was afraid Elizabeth would run around on him too, Nathan saw red. Nathan was sure he would have punched the man if Bill had not stepped in front of him. The judge told the man to mind what he said if he did not want to find himself in front of him in his office facing charges of slander. Muttering something under his breath, the man walked away. Bill took Nathan's arm and led the Mountie to the NWMP office. The fact that Bill grabbed a chair and sat down for a visit told Nathan that the man was not going to let him out of his sight any time soon.
It was probably a good thing that Bill had stayed with him as Nathan was still angry as he headed home. After putting Newton in his stall, Nathan headed for the house. Lee's men had finished the wood shop the day prior. Nathan's plan was to change out of his serge and go out to the wood shop in the hopes he could clam down before dinner. Going into the house, Nathan shut the front door forcibly and stomped up the steps. He did not notice the effect his actions had on his wife and son until he came back downstairs. As he stepped from the last step, Nathan found himself facing a defiant Jack. The boy stood in front of him, feet spread and arms out.
"Leave Mama, alone," Jack commanded.
Nathan looked up from the boy, wondering what was going on, and sought out Elizabeth. His wife was in the easy chair, trying to look small. There was fear on her face. In that moment, Nathan's anger melted away to shame, realizing the effect that his anger, though not directed at them had on Elizabeth and Jack after what they had gone through.
With tears in his eyes, Nathan knelt before Jack. "I would never hurt your Mama or you, Jack," Nathan told the boy soothingly.
"But you slammed the door and stomped upstairs. Lucas use to do that and it was never good afterwards," Jack said, having not changed his stance.
"I am sorry that my actions, scared you. I was upset, but not at you or your mama."
"You get mad at Ally," Jack countered.
Nathan nodded. "Yes. Parents do sometimes get upset with their children. And we sometimes we have to discipline them. Hasn't your mama reprimanded you, Jack?"
Jack nodded. "She never hit me like Lucas did."
"Have you ever even seen me raise a hand toward, Ally?" Nathan asked.
Jack shook his head.
"Even when I am upset with Ally, the thought of hitting her would never cross my mind. I may speak sternly to her. I may send her to her room or tell her she can't see her friends as punishment, but I would never hit her. Nor would I hit you or your mama. However, sometimes when we have bad feelings built up inside, it helps to stomp and slam doors to let those feelings out."
"Ally slams her bedroom door on occasion," Jack observed.
Nathan smiled at the observation. Yes, his daughter did have a tendency to do just that when she got upset with him.
"She does," Nathan admitted.
"You promise you will never hit me, or Mama?" Jack asked.
"I promise, Jack," Nathan told the boy, holding his arms open to the boy.
The defiance melted from the boy as he moved slowly toward Nathan. Wrapping his arms around the boy, Nathan held him close as he stood up. Carrying Jack, Nathan made his way toward where Elizabeth sat. He knelt down in front of her.
"Forgive me?" Nathan asked her softly. "I will try to be more aware of how my moods will affect you and Jack in the future."
Reaching out a hand, Elizabeth placed it gently against Nathan's cheek as she nodded her forgiveness.
It wasn't all trials for the fledgling family though. Elizabeth and Ally's relationship, stitched together over that conversation after picking out flowers the day of the wedding, continued to strengthen as they cooked breakfast together in the morning. Ally found herself confiding to Elizabeth little things about things that Robert shared in his letters, the young man having left for Mountie training that spring, having finally made his choice. It was something she knew she could never share with her Dad, no matter how much he loved her.
Jack had taken to watching out the front window for Nathan's return in the afternoon. Standing in the doorway, Elizabeth would smile as she watched Nathan get down from Newton and greet the boy. He would then place Jack in the saddle as he led the horse to the barn.
One night Nathan's job kept him from being home. Nathan, Bill, and Gabriel had all gone out to assist with a search for a missing person from Benson Hills. Alone with the children, Elizabeth could feel her anxiety build. What if Nathan didn't come home? What would happen to her? What would happen to the children? When Lee showed up to check on her that evening, Elizabeth had dissolved into tears confessing her fears. Lee had assured her that she and the children would still have him and Rosemary but that Nathan was coming home. Later that night, Elizabeth was bolstered by Ally's confession as Elizabeth tucked the girl in for the night.
"I am glad you are here with me, Beth. For the first time, I don't feel alone even though Dad is out working."
"I am glad you feel that way, Ally," Elizabeth told her, pressing a kiss to Ally's temple before rising from the bed.
Nathan was back the following afternoon with good news. The missing person had been located, tired and a little dehydrated but otherwise all right. With a sudden longing to just spend a quiet evening with his family, Nathan suggested that they go on a picnic for dinner. It was exactly what they did. Elizabeth and Ally prepared some food while Nathan changed. Going toward the river for their picnic, Nathan and the children spent some time fishing before dinner. They caught a few fish, and as Elizabeth laid out the other food for their picnic out on the blanket she kept glancing at Nathan as he helped the children cook their fish over a fire and a sudden realization came over her.
As she reached up to lay her hand over the locket with his picture, Elizabeth realized that this was what Jack had wished for her. Though Elizabeth knew her late husband would not want to be forgotten, he had also wanted her to find this again. He had wanted her to be happy not living the kind of life she had been living since his death.
A gentle wind came out of nowhere and as it found its way through her hair Elizabeth had the strange notion that the wind was a gentle caress from her husband. Perhaps she couldn't love Nathan the way that she had loved Jack. The way that Nathan loved her. However, as she watched him and the children, Elizabeth knew that she would find healing and happiness with Nathan.
Perhaps that was enough.