By the time Nathan brought the wagon to a stop in front of their house, the sun had almost sunk below the horizon. Looking back into the bed of the wagon, Nathan smiled at the sight. Both the children had fallen asleep. Ally propped up in the one corner of the wagon bed and Jack using Ally for a pillow. The new picture book Ally had been entertaining Jack with lay open on her legs.

"I will carry Jack in for you and then come out and get Cosmo settled in his stall," Nathan told Elizabeth, looping the reigns around the wagon brake and climbing from the wagon seat.

After helping Elizabeth down from the wagon, Nathan moved to the back of the wagon. Reaching over the side, he gently woke his daughter.

"We're home, Ally," Nathan told her as he saw her eyes flutter open.

Though she didn't respond, Ally looked around, taking in the familiar surroundings. Nathan reached for Jack, and after some maneuvering, managed get the boy over the side of the wagon and draped over one shoulder.

"I'll help Ally inside," Elizabeth told him.

Nathan nodded and headed inside with the sleeping boy. Behind him he could hear Elizabeth coaxing the tired teenager out of the wagon. Going inside, Nathan headed for the steps. As his first foot touched the step though, Jack lifted his head from Nathan's shoulder.

"I want to say goodnight to Nate," Jack said.

"All right," Nathan acquiesced, afraid that the tired out boy, would throw a tantrum if told he could not see the duck.

Going to the sunroom, Nathan sat down on the floor next to the crate. Nate was already quacking his greeting. With Jack in his lap, Nathan reached into the crate and lifted the excited duckling out of the crate. Eyes only halfway open, Jack reached out for the noisy little ball of feathers.

"I missed you, Nate," Jack said sleepily as he held the duckling close. Nate responded with his series of quacks.

Nathan gave the boy a few minutes to be satisfied his duckling had indeed survived them being away.

"Alright Jack, let's put Nate back in the crate. Your Mom or I will make sure he gets fed tonight."

"Goodnight, Nate," Jack said, giving the duckling a kiss on its downy head before putting it in the crate.

With Nate quacking his protest, Nathan got back to his feet with Jack and headed for the stairs. Elizabeth and Ally had found their way inside. Ally looked a little more awake though Nathan had a feeling his daughter would call it an early night.

"I am going to make Beth and me a sandwich. Would you like one, Dad?" Ally asked.

"That would be nice. Thank you, Ally."

While Ally headed for the kitchen, Nathan and Elizabeth headed upstairs. Nathan carried Jack to his room and laid him in the bed. There, Elizabeth assured him she could get Jack ready for bed and sent her husband outside to unhitch the wagon and take care of the horses for the night. Nathan did all that needed to be done in the barn then so he would not need to come back out. As he made his way from the barn to the house, lighting flashed in the distance. Looking to the sky, Nathan watched the storm clouds determining that they were headed in their direction and thankful that they had made it home before the rain started falling.

Elizabeth had joined Ally at the table. Each had a plate with a sandwich and a glass of milk in front of them. A third sandwich and glass of milk sat at his usual spot.

"Go wash up and then come join us," Elizabeth told him. "We'll wait."

"I see Nate didn't wait," Nathan commented, spotting the duckling in the far corner munching on his meal from the shallow dish in the corner.

The comment was rewarded with giggles from Elizabeth and Ally. Nathan washed up and then joined his daughter and wife for their light meal. When they were done, Ally said she was going to go up and get ready for bed. Nathan started to help clear the dishes but Elizabeth told him she would take care of it and told him to go relax in the sitting room.

Feeling tired himself, Nathan did not protest. In the sitting room, he retrieved the book he had bought for Elizabeth from the bag and placed it on the desk. Then, going upstairs, he went to check on Ally. His daughter was already in bed, lights out but not quite asleep. Crossing over to the bed, he exchanged a few words with her, gave her a goodnight kiss on her forehead and headed back downstairs. He then retrieved the book he was currently reading and settled on the settee. He hadn't been there long before he felt a tugging at his shoelaces. Looking down, he found Nate playing with the strings. Reaching down, he picked the duckling up and settled him in his lap. Nate quickly settled down and was content to fall asleep. Soon after, Elizabeth came into the room. As he anticipated, Elizabeth headed for her desk.

"So the kids weren't the only one you were buying books for," Elizabeth commented.

Looking up from his book, Nathan saw Elizabeth holding the new novel. "How did you know which one to get for me?" she asked.

"I was watching you as you browsed. That was the one you kept going back to. I was going to tell you to get it, but I thought you would make a fuss in the store, so I decided to surprise you."

Elizabeth looked over at him then. There was an amused smile on her face. "Make a fuss, huh?"

Nathan shrugged, wearing a smile of his own.

Crossing over to him, Elizabeth sat down next to him, the book in hand. "Thank you," she told him, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Settling beside him, Elizabeth leaned her head against his shoulder as she opened her new book. Nathan tried to go back to his book but he now found himself distracted even as a loud grumble of thunder preceded a downpour of rain.

"Well, that should help fill the pond some," Elizabeth commented.

"Yes," Nathan agreed. "Perhaps tomorrow evening Jack and I can introduce Nate to his soon to be home."

"Jack will enjoy that," Elizabeth replied.

Outside the storm continued as Nathan and Elizabeth tried to go back to their books, the latter more successfully. Eventually, Elizabeth put the book aside and headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Nathan followed suit. He placed Nate safely in his crate, turned out the lights and headed upstairs. As Elizabeth was in the bathroom, Nathan closed the bedroom door and quickly changed into his night shirt. The door had not been opened for long before Elizabeth returned to the room. No sooner had they gotten settled in bed then Jack's cries for help split the silence of the night.

As Jack was not specifically calling his name, Nathan let Elizabeth go to Jack. He did however, follow. Standing in the doorway while Elizabeth comforted the boy, Nathan heard Jack tell Elizabeth that the four of them had been walking down the street when Lucas snatched him.

"He had my arm and his grip hurt and he would not let me go," Jack told her

"Shhh," Elizabeth soothed. "Lucas is somewhere that he cannot hurt you," she assured the boy. "It was just a bad dream. You are safe in your bed. Nathan and I are nearby in our room."

Nathan could feel the anger simmering inside of him. What Lucas had done to Elizabeth was horrible. What the man had done to the little boy was even worse.

"Lucas cannot hurt us, Jack," Elizabeth told the boy again as she tried to settle him back in his bed.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked, his voice trembling as he looked at his mother.

Nathan felt his heart clench at that fear. It was a fear no child should know.

"Positive," Elizabeth assured him as she rubbed his back as she hugged him. "We are living with Nathan and Ally now remember."

"Nathan keep us safe?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth looked toward the door and met his gaze. "Yes, my sweet boy. Nathan will keep us safe," she told the boy, looking back down to Jack.

Nathan remained where he was. Unless Jack asked for him, he would let the boy get his comfort and reassurance from her right now. It would be beneficial to both Elizabeth and Jack. Eventually though, the boy was back asleep. Elizabeth stopped rubbing circles on his back and pulled the blanket up over Jack, Nathan walked into the room. Elizabeth pressed a kiss against her son's head before standing up and taking a step back. Leaning over, Nathan kissed Jack's forehead, the boy's eyes fluttering open. In those brief moments, Nathan met Jack's trusting gaze. Perhaps he would never have a conventional marriage with Elizabeth, but Nathan vowed to be the father figure that this little boy needed in his life.

With Jack back to sleep, Nathan held out his hand to Elizabeth. Elizabeth slipped her hand into his and let him lead her back to the bedroom they now shared. As they stepped inside the room, Nathan pushed the door shut as Elizabeth slid her arms around him, seeking comfort. Nathan responded, holding her against him. Though he knew she was seeking only comfort from him, he couldn't stop the wave of love that washed over him for the woman in his arms. Despite the pain and the acceptance that she did not feel the same way about him, his feelings had not changed. Deep down, Nathan knew they never would.

"I am a horrible mother," Elizabeth said as her head rested against his chest.

"You are not a horrible mother, Elizabeth," Nathan said, reaching up and stroking her hair comfortingly.

"I am. I chose so badly when I chose Lucas. If that choice had just affected me that would be one thing. However, Jack was traumatized by that choice as well and I am only now beginning to realize how much. Lucas has been out of our lives for months now, and he is still having nightmares."

"Yes, but you are trying to soothe those fears. You just spent twenty minutes calming those fears and making sure Jack knows that he is loved. That does not sound like a horrible mother to me."

"It is my fault he is having those fears."

"No, it is not," Nathan said. He stopped stroking her hair, and placed a finger under her chin. Gently, he lifted her head so that he could meet her gaze. "Lucas said and did all the right things to make you believe he loved you. You trusted that and he betrayed that trust. That is not your fault. Everything that he put you through, is on him, not you Elizabeth."

"Each time you say that, I think I believe it a little more," Elizabeth told him.

"I will keep repeating it as many times as you need me to," Nathan told her.

Elizabeth looked down, resting her head against his chest. As it usually did, his body responded to her closeness. More than anything, he wanted to show Elizabeth just how much he loved her. Perhaps part of him even hoped that if she truly understood how deep his feelings went that Elizabeth might start to discover feelings for him too.

This was not about him though. None of this had been about him. This was about Elizabeth and helping her heal from the trauma she had gone through. So, Nathan simply held her, comforting her. Letting her feel safe and secure without any other pressure, even as his own desires tormented him.

Eventually, Elizabeth pulled away. Nathan let her go. Before turning away, she stood on tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"Thank you," she told him before turning and heading for the bed. As she walked toward the bed, she slipped the robe, she had put on to go to Jack, off. Nathan averted his eyes as she draped it over a nearby easy chair, fighting for self control. That quick kiss had been his undoing. Knowing that he needed some time, Nathan walked to the closet and pulled out a pair of pants.

"Where are you going?" Elizabeth asked.

Nathan did not look back at her. "I need a walk," he told her, pulling the pants on.

"Now? It is still raining," Elizabeth said.

Nathan was aware of that. He could still hear the soft patter of the drops against the window. "I just need some air," he said, pulling his night shirt off over his head and grabbing a plaid shirt.

"Did I do something wrong?" Elizabeth asked, her voice shaking with uncertainty. "Are you upset with me?"

In the process of buttoning the shirt, Nathan finally turned. Elizabeth was standing by the bed, dressed in her nightgown, with her arms crossed in front of her. She looked scared and vulnerable. Nathan felt bad knowing that his actions were feeding her anxiety. It wasn't his intention but he honestly did not think he could get into bed with her right then and be the gentleman that Elizabeth needed him to be.

"I am not upset with you, Elizabeth and you did nothing wrong," Nathan said, hoping his words could sooth her. "I just need a bit of space."

"You would rather be out in the rain then near me right now?"

"Not exactly," Nathan told her, unsure of how to explain the situation to her without embarrassing them both. Feeling the building desire to press her close to him again, Nathan averted his eyes. The room suddenly felt very warm to him.

"Oh," Elizabeth said in a tone which told Nathan that she now understood what was going on.

"I'll just go for that walk now," Nathan murmured as he started for the bedroom door. He did not make it though as he found himself face to face with Elizabeth who had moved to intercept him.

"Or perhaps what you are feeling can be taken care of another way," Elizabeth said softly, standing directly in front of him.

Just her proximity made the feeling intensify. Meeting her gaze, Nathan fought the urge to reach out and press her body against his.

"It wouldn't be right. I may love you but you don't love me that way, Elizabeth. I know that. I accept that, even if some aspects of my feelings are harder to control than others," Nathan said, his voice husky with emotion.

Elizabeth nodded. "You are right, I don't love you the way you love me, but I do care about you Nathan. I am also your wife," she said. "There would be no shame in letting me fulfill certain desires. We would be doing nothing wrong."

Nathan shook his head, balling his hands into first and pressing his knuckles into his thighs to keep from reaching out for her. "I married you to support and protect you, Elizabeth. To give you a shelter from the darkness you were in. I did not marry you to use you to fulfill my desires."

Elizabeth moved closer. Nathan tensed as he felt her arms wrap around his waist. Nathan let out a groan even as he kept his hand at his sides. Elizabeth pressed against him, causing his body to tremble.

"Is it really using me, if I am willing?" Elizabeth asked, looking up at him. He felt her breath on the skin of his chest as his shirt was only half buttoned.

"But why, Elizabeth?" Nathan asked, feeling like he was coming undone.

"Does that matter?"

"It does to me," Nathan told her. "I don't want you to regret what we do tonight in the morning. I don't want you to feel like I took advantage to you."

Elizabeth laughed. "I know what it feels like to be taken advantage of, Nathan," she told him a hint of bitterness in her voice. "I have come to realize that has happened quite often in the past year. However, this is nothing like that. Your body clearly wants me and even though we are standing this close, you are not given in to that desire. That is clearly not someone who is trying to take advantage of me."

Leaving one arm pressed against his back, their bodies still touching, Elizabeth reached for his left hand with her right."I know this was not a typical marriage from the start. You married me to save me, Nathan," Elizabeth said, her hand working his clenched fist loose.

Nathan's heart pounded in his chest. His breath came in short, rapid breaths. Part of him wanted to flee while the other part wanted to crush Elizabeth's body against his and start exploring her with his lips.

"You have. If anyone has been using anyone, I have been using you. You have given me so much lately, Nathan. Let me give you this," she told him, her hand now grasping his open left hand. His other hand was still in a clenched fist as he struggled to not give into desire. "I am sure the experience will be more pleasant than the most recent experiences. It may be nice to have a pleasant intimate memory again. Perhaps it might even bring us closer together."

"And if you get pregnant, Elizabeth? What then? People will know this is more than just a marriage of convenience."

"Bearing your child would not be a hardship, Nathan. Besides wouldn't you like a child of your own?" Elizabeth asked.

"Ally and Jack are my children," Nathan told her, feeling hurt that Elizabeth thought he felt otherwise.

"I know you feel that way. I see that when you interact with them. I know you could not love them more than if they were yours biologically, but wouldn't you like to have a biological child of your own, Nathan?"

"I accepted that might be the case when I asked you to marry me, Elizabeth. I meant what I said then. I expect nothing of you. I just wanted to give you a roof over your head and a place to feel safe."

"And you have," Elizabeth said. "I can't promise I will ever love you like you love me, Nathan, but I am willing to help fulfill the physical desires that a wife can fulfill," she told him. She grasped his left wrist gently and guided his hand to her breast.

Nathan groaned at the feel of her through the material of her nightgown. "Make love to me, Nathan," she whispered, before pressing her lips against his.

Nathan lost his battle with self control as he returned the kiss hungrily but tenderly at the same time. His other hand unclenched and found its way to her back, pressing their bodies closer together. Not breaking the kiss, Nathan slowly moved them a few steps closer to the door. Reaching out with one hand, he locked the door.

Breaking their kiss, Nathan managed to ask, "are you sure about this, Elizabeth?"

"Yes," Elizabeth replied. "I trust you, Nathan."

Nathan understood what she meant. She trusted him not to hurt her. She trusted him to stop if she asked him too.

With that final admission, his lips found the side of her neck as he wrapped his arms around her. Slowly, he guided her to their bed and gently laying her on it, Nathan gave into the desire that had been building inside of him for a long time.

Afterwards, Elizabeth lay nestled in Nathan's arms, her head resting on his bare chest. She listened to his breathing as it continued to slow. The arm around her rested over top of her right arm, his hand over hers as it rested on her stomach. She was starting to think he had fallen asleep when he spoke softly.

"Are you all right, Elizabeth?"

The question was full of concern as he pulled the sheet up over her more with his left hand. It felt strange being held and cared for like this after the act of making love. Lucas had either gone to get a drink or gone to sleep after he'd had her way with her. There had never been any concern for her comfort during or after the act.

"Yes," Elizabeth told him. She tilted her head to look up at him. Concerned blue eyes met her gaze. Reaching up with her left hand she placed it against his cheek. "Thank you for your concern throughout," she told him. "It was a nice experience."

"Nice, huh?" Nathan said, a bit of teasing in his voice. "Not exactly the word a male ego wants to hear, but under the circumstances, I will accept it."

Elizabeth smiled. No, nice was probably not what a man wanted to hear from his partner after making love. That word had definitely never crossed her lips after her experiences with Jack. That had been exhilarating. It had felt like their souls had connected. While being with Nathan had not been the uncomfortable, painful experience of being with Lucas, she had not felt that connection either. Oh, she had felt some pleasurable sensations and she knew Nathan had as well, but there was something missing.

Elizabeth knew it was on her side. She knew that even though she had given her body to her husband there was a piece of herself inside that she was still protecting.

"I don't regret anything, Nathan," she assured him, her hand still on his cheek. "But I think there is still a part of myself that I am protecting."

Nathan lifted his head from his pillow and kissed the top of her head. "Keep protecting it, if you must, Elizabeth. I only want what you are willing to give. You could never disappoint me."

Elizabeth's vision blurred at those words. She closed her eyes, trying to will the tears away.

"Somehow Lucas always made me feel like I was a disappointment, no matter what I did. Maybe that was why I was afraid to tell him about the baby I lost," Elizabeth confessed. She felt Nathan's hold on her tighten as he held her closely. His left hand reached for her hand resting on his cheek. She felt him press a kiss to her hand before letting their hand rest against his chest. "I didn't want to face his disappointment at the fact that we were going to have another child. He already had so little time for Jack. There were times I dared to hope he would feel differently about his own child and then my heart would weep for Jack. I didn't want my first born to feel differently from any siblings he would have."

"You never have to fear that from me, Elizabeth," Nathan promised.

"I know," Elizabeth replied. "I think that was why I could give myself to you physically, Nathan, because I know that any child brought into this world from our union will be loved." Elizabeth opened her eyes, blinking a few times to clear them of the tears welling up. "I wish I could surrender myself emotionally to you. I wish I could give you the full devotion that you deserve. What if I am too broken to ever be able to do that?"

"Then I will love you just as you are. Never doubt that, Beth."

Elizabeth knew he meant the words. She knew his love was unconditional. It was that unconditional love that allowed her to be able to say the next words.

"This doesn't have to be a one time thing, Nathan," Elizabeth told him, surprising herself with how steady her voice was. "We can make love occasionally. I can at least give you that."

"You let me know when you are willing, Beth," Nathan told her, resting his chin gently against her head. "You don't need to do much to get me in the mood."

Elizabeth felt the heat rise in her cheeks at the words. Lucas had often made her feel like she was invisible. She often thought that any woman would have done for him at times. Part of her even wondered if any woman in the form of a saloon girl did do at times. Not that she had ever thought about checking into those suspicions. The truth was, she hadn't wanted to know.

Nathan words told her that not only wasn't she invisible to him, but that he liked what he saw as well.

"Thank you for loving me just the way I am, Nathan," Elizabeth told him, starting to feel sleepy as she lay held and cherished in Nathan's arms.

"Always," Nathan assured her.

It was with that assurance of love that Elizabeth fell asleep that night.