Allie sat in the back of the wagon listening to her teachers and mother talk about hair styles for the upcoming Winter Fest Dance. All of them were going, though Allie, Elizabeth and Marion were the only ones with escorts.
Was this her first date? Allie wondered. Several classmates were going in that fashion. All Emily and Eve wanted to talk about were speculations of their time at the dance with Tommy and Mark respectively. Anna, about to graduate in the spring, was happily telling everyone who would listen about the older boy from Benson Hills who would be escorting her. Granted, Ethan was only a year older, having graduated last spring, and worked for his father's delivery business. He had been picking up orders that the Hope Valley railroad delivered for Benson Hills' businesses. Having always seen herself as above her peers, this was making Anna even harder to tolerate - and had caused some of the school kids to pair up just so they were not going alone. When Vincent had first asked her about going as friends, Allie had asked to think about it. Not twenty minutes later, Anna had asked her and Opal if they had dates to the dance. Cody had already asked Opal to go with him when he found out his mom planned to come to Hope Valley for the dance. Though she claimed it was to catch up with old friends, Cody had confessed to Opal that he heard Pastor Frank ask her to come with him.
"I suppose you will be going alone as Robert is far away?" Anna had asked, a snide tone in her voice. "Oh, I forgot. He broke up with you before he headed west, didn't he?"
Allie knew the words were fueled by the other girl being upset that Robert had chosen her over Anna in the end, but they still "ruffled her feathers" as her grandmother had used to say. She had a vague memory of her mother saying it to Uncle Nathan a time or two as well.
"I am going with Vincent, actually," Allie replied quickly.
Anna had given a noise indicating a disdained interest before turning and flouncing away. Allie had quickly told Vincent that she would go to the dance with him, bringing a smile to her friend's face. Something about his smile had made Allie feel a fluttering inside that she had tried not to dwell on.
A smile came to her face as she thought about that feeling now. Was that what people meant when they spoke of feeling butterflies? She had never felt that way with Robert. Yes, she had liked-liked him, and he had made her happy but there had been no fluttering inside. Besides, as Anna had pointed out, Robert had broken up with her. Still, when she had replied to Robert's latest letter last night, she had left out all mention of the dance. She wasn't sure why, as she had mentioned other things about Vincent.
Vincent.
Would Vincent like to see her with her hair up? Allie pondered. Would he even care? Would her father even let her get away with it?
"Mama, could I wear my hair up for the dance?" Allie asked when there was a break in the conversation. They were just pulling up to the dress shop.
"Perhaps we should consult with your father on that subject," Elizabeth replied, as she reigned in Cosmo.
"He'll just say I need to wait until I'm sixteen," Allie replied.
"My father told me the same thing," Elise said, hoping to ease the feelings she knew Allie was going through. She remembered those teenage years, yearning to be older and feeling like her parents wouldn't let her. "Having an older sister, who could made it hard for me to wait."
"Why won't fathers let their daughters grow up?" Allie pouted.
That question brought gentle laughter from all the women in the wagon. They had all experienced that particular dilemma.
"Because, Allie, in the eyes of your father, you will always be his little girl. I was twenty-two when I came west but my father was still reluctant to let me go," Elizabeth confessed gently.
"I just finally left home last week but I was afraid I would miss the train my father held me for so long," Elise confessed.
"My father told Marcus no the first time my late husband asked him for permission to propose to me," Marion said from the front seat next to Elizabeth. "Marcus told me he had simply said the word and walked away. Didn't even give him a chance to ask for a reason."
"What did you two do?" Allie asked.
"Oh, Marcus and I talked about going to the next town and eloping - though I have a feeling none of our parents would have been happy with that choice. In the end, Marcus waited a couple of weeks and approached my father again. My husband told me my father immediately started chuckling and gave his blessing, saying that if he had the courage to ask him twice than he must really love me."
Sitting beside Allie, Eva wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders. "The reason your father is having a hard time letting you grow up is because he loves you," she told the girl. "He wants to protect you, just like he always has, but as we get older it is harder and harder for parents to do that. Maybe humor him and wait until you are sixteen to wear your hair up."
"And if he tells me then I need to wait until I am seventeen?" Allie asked.
"Then I will intervene," Elizabeth replied. With the wagon stopped, she turned and looked back at her daughter. "In the meanwhile, I will figure out a hairstyle that will please the both of you. I promise."
"All right," Allie replied.
By this time, Rosemary had stepped out of the dress shop and was standing just outside the door. The blonde had a heavy shawl wrapped around her shoulders. "Hurry up, ladies. I already found several dresses for both Elise and Allie to try on."
"Leave it to Rosemary," Elizabeth said quietly, so only those in the wagon with her could hear the comment.
The four women and Allie climbed down from the wagon and headed toward the dress shop. As they walked, Elizabeth wrapped her arm around Allie's shoulder and brought the teen to a stop. Allie looked up at her and saw a sad and compassionate look in the eyes of the woman she now called mother.
"Allie, life has already forced you to grow up faster than some of your peers. I know you can't go back to being a child but maybe just try to enjoy the last couple of years you have at home before you go off to college."
The words brought a smile to Allie's face. It was nice to finally have the mother figure she had always longed for.
"I'll try," Allie replied. "However, can you please make sure that Dad keeps an eye on me and Vincent from a distance. I don't want him making Vincent nervous by hovering."
Elizabeth chuckled. "I will do my best," she promised before leading Allie toward the dress shop where the others were waiting.
Nathan sat in the rocking chair in the added-on bedroom that held the furniture for the baby. The walls were still the dark blue that they had picked when this was intended to be Elizabeth's room. Heavy curtains of the same color hung in the windows to block out the view. Filmy white curtains, which would let the light through, overlaid them. Other than placing the furniture they had for the baby in the room, no preparation had been done. However, there was still time. Besides, if a new nursery was built downstairs, there would be no reason to redo this room.
Wanting to be present when Jack finally awoke from his nap, Nathan read a novel as he gently rocked the chair. He hadn't had a whole lot of time to just sit and read lately and he was making the most of this opportunity. He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there when movement from the crib caught his attention. Looking that way, Nathan found Jack sitting in the crib watching him.
"You mad?" Jack asked when he realized his father was looking in his direction.
"I am not happy. Defying your mother is not acceptable behavior," Nathan said, his tone firm but even.
"This is my crib. Don't want the baby taking it," Jack answered.
"Big boys don't sleep in cribs," Nathan replied.
The boy crossed his arms. "Then I don't want to be a big boy. Don't want anyone taking anything from me like Lucas took Mama away."
Nathan closed his book and set it aside. "The baby will not take your mother away, Jack. She is always going to love you, as will Allie and me."
"But the baby will need Mama to take care of it."
"True, but so do you. Parents can make time for more than one child. We already make time for you and Allie."
"Allie likes me. What if the baby doesn't like me?"
"You'll be its big brother, Jack. He or she is going to love you."
"Lucas didn't."
"Yeah, well Lucas didn't like a lot of people," Nathan said softly. He could feel anger toward the man bubbling up at the reminder of the emotional and physical abuse the man had put this little boy through. "But your Mama is always going to love you - no matter what you do or who comes along. You will always be your Mama's first born. That is something special that nothing can ever change."
Nathan sat quietly, giving Jack a chance to react to the words. The little boy just sat there, looking down at his crossed arms.
"Allie and I love you too, Jack. Nothing will change that either."
Jack looked up. Nathan could see a sadness in the boy's eyes. A sorrow no child should ever know.
"You promise?" Jack asked quietly.
"I promise, Jack," Nathan says, knowing that if the boy's innocence had not been shattered, such a promise would not be necessary.
Jack nodded and got to his feet. As he grasped the top of the crib railing Nathan asked, "what are you doing?"
"Getting up. Nap time over."
"Boys who sleep in cribs don't get up by themselves," Nathan replied easily, using the same phrase his son had used. "They have to wait for someone to get them from the crib."
"But I can get out on my own," Jack protested.
Nathan shook his head. "But that isn't what boys who sleep in cribs do. Cribs have sides to keep children safe. Climbing out of one by yourself is not safe."
Jack crossed his arms again. "Not fair," he pouted.
"Maybe not," Nathan agreed, leaving the comment at that. The concept of life not being fair was probably something that Jack had already learned well even if he didn't yet realize it. "That is how it is. If you want to sleep in the crib, then you need to wait for me or your Mama to get you out when you are done napping. Otherwise, you sleep in your bed."
"But it isn't special. Daddy built this. Allie says you built hers. Lucas bought that bed and he wasn't happy about it. He told Mama that 'her son was costing him money.'"
Nathan inwardly cringed at the words. What a thing for a child to hear. "Well, either way those are the rules."
Jack offered no other protest as he held his arms up in the air. "Out please?" he asked and proceeded to wait for Nathan to come get him.
Getting to his feet, Nathan crossed over to the crib. Reaching for the child, Nathan picked Jack up and held him close instead of putting him down. Yes, the boy had been defiant, but Nathan also realized he was acting out emotions he was having trouble expressing in words.
"You owe your Mama an apology when she gets home," Nathan told the boy.
"Yes, Dad," Jack said, arms wrapped around his father's neck.
"Good," Nathan said. "Now, would you like to help me with supper."
Jack offered a tiny smile and nodded his head in affirmation. Nathan wasn't sure what would happen at bedtime but at least he had gotten a little information from Jack about how the boy was feeling. He wasn't quite sure what the long-term solution was, but that was something he could discuss with Elizabeth later.
Later that night, Nathan had his plans for expanding their home spread out on the table. Though he had intended on finishing them and discussing them with Elizabeth, he was not currently working on those plans. Instead, he was working on a much smaller project.
Allie had already said goodnight and gone upstairs to read her assigned chapters in the novel her class was reading. After a tearful apology to his Mama when she and Allie had returned, Jack had been Elizabeth's shadow. Sensing that her son needed the extra comfort of being near her, Elizabeth had tolerated it without complaint. Though she had tried to do the dinner dishes, Nathan had shooed her away after the meal, promising to clean up. Instead, Elizabeth and Jack had retreated to the sitting room and attempted to build something with Jack's building log set. As Muffin and Nate thought it great fun to knock down said creations, there had been a lot of crashes and giggling drifting into the living room while Nathan and Allie had cleared the table and did the dishes. Nathan had then helped Allie quiz both vocabulary and spelling.
All in all, it had been a pleasant evening. Nathan knew that adding another child to the mix would only add to the dynamics. The trick was going to be convincing Jack of that in the coming months. He had a feeling all Jack saw was a disruption to his happy world after the turmoil he had been living in.
Footsteps caused him to look up. Elizabeth was walking into the room. His wife looked weary and troubled.
"Jack is really troubled by this coming baby," she commented, seeing that she had Nathan's attention. "He asked me tonight if we would send him to Miss Lillian's orphanage. I asked him where he got that idea and he said he overheard Vincent telling Allie about a friend he had made while in the orphanage that he keeps in touch with. Apparently, Christian's father was still alive but hadn't wanted the boy, so he surrendered him to an orphanage. The boy would make up fanciful stories about what his father did. I assured Jack that even if we had five more children that we would not be giving any of them up."
"He's just feeling insecure with his world changing again," Nathan replied. "He'll be fine if we are patient, understanding, and show him the affection he needs."
Nathan pushed back his chair and held a hand out to her. Without hesitation, Elizabeth walked forward and took his hand, allowing Nathan to pull her into his lap.
"How did you handle the crib issue?" Elizabeth asked, the apology for the defiance the only mention of the incident all night.
Nathan told her. "My mother had told me when I took Allie that forbidding a child to do something only made it more enticing. The trick was to make the behavior undesirable. Apparently, when I was three, I kept climbing to get into the cookie jar no matter where my mom put it. Even a couple of minor falls didn't deter me, so my mother's solution was to put some cookies that she had not added sugar to into the cookie jar one time. When my prize didn't taste so good, she said I stopped climbing to reach it after a few sugar-free cookies. As she had some of the good tasting cookies that she gave me, I went back to asking her for a cookie."
"So, if we show him that if he wants to sleep in the crib then his freedom will be limited then he won't want to sleep there?"
"That is my hope," Nathan said. "I also thought that as he said the crib was special to him because his Daddy built it and that he felt like Lucas begrudgingly bought his bed, then perhaps if I made Jack a bed, it might be easier for him to share the crib with a new sibling."
"Yes, Jack did build that crib with Robert, though it wasn't originally meant for Little Jack. The Christmas before Little Jack was born, the Wolf's were expecting Sarah. They had a scare with the pregnancy and though Robert didn't completely know what it was about he knew his parents were worried. He wanted to get a crib for the baby for Christmas, hoping that providing it with a place to sleep would show God that the baby was really wanted by him and his family. Jack was home from the Northern Territories on furlough and helped Robert build it. The next year, when I was expecting Little Jack, the Wolfs bought a new crib for Sarah and gifted me that one, saying that my baby needed something from its father."
Elizabeth paused, reaching up to wipe tears that were leaking from her eyes at the memory. Nathan simply held her other hand quietly, giving her time to deal with the emotions the memory was bringing up.
"I told Jack that his Daddy had built that crib so often, but I was never quite sure he really understood," Elizabeth confessed when she could speak again.
"Well, he did, and that is a special memory for him. But now, we need to convince him he is too big for it and to let a little brother or sister use it." Nathan gestured to the paper on the table in front of him. "I thought perhaps if I made Jack a bed of his own, it might help him let go of the crib his daddy built."
Elizabeth reached for the paper and examined it. The basic design wasn't too elaborate, though Nathan had put some extra effort into the headboard.
"You plan on carving that into the headboard?" Elizabeth asked, still looking at the Mountie on his horse with the words 'Maintiens le droit'.
"I thought it would be good to have a connection to Jack Sr. for him, even though I am the one making it," Nathan replied.
"I like that," Elizabeth said.
"I was also thinking about making it bigger and higher than his current bed so he can grow into it. I wanted to run that by you though. If you don't feel comfortable with that I won't."
Elizabeth considered the idea. Jack was growing up. If Nathan was going to put time and love into the bed, it would be nice if their son could use it for a while.
"We could put one side of the bed against the wall," Elizabeth mused. "Though Jack hadn't fallen out of bed, even accidentally, in a long time. I could make some big pillows to put down alongside the bed just in case." She looked from the drawing to her husband. "Go ahead and make him a bed that he can grow into," she told him.
Nathan nodded. "I was hoping you would say that," he told her before leaning in and capturing her lips with his own. This parenting thing was so much more enjoyable with a partner to share it with.