Review time!
Yeezynight14: Glad you think so. Duncan joining the Guy's Alliance will be important, for the circumstances behind his eventual elimination will lead directly to Alejandro's. Tammy was the last contestant I disliked enough to easily eliminate (well, besides Sugar, but I need Sugar for later), so she was a gimme. Zeke can relax for now.
Guest: Again, you're going to have to be patient.
That British Guy: In the original TDWT Team Victory was actually the first team to WIN a challenge. Hence their victory here.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
"Last time on Total Drama – snow in September! [Sadie getting hit in the face by a snowball] Don't worry, the climate hasn't been messed up that badly yet. Three teams – Amazon [Jasmine T. asserting herself as leader], I'm 4x-really Hot [Brick coming up with the plan to take out the drones], and Victory [An ice cube landing between Lindsay's breasts] raced to the climate-controlled Climate Hall. [Climate Hall] Thanks to Ella's vocals [Left Foot, Right Foot], Team Amazon got an early lead and got a snowball launcher [MacArthur getting carried away with said snowball launcher] to participate in a snowball fight. But Tammy's obsession to get rid of Ezekiel for supposedly eliminating her beloved Leonard [Tammy going after Zeke] cost her team the win because she violated their penalty [Miles hitting Chef with a snowball] and got herself thrown out. [Tammy's elimination] Though I'm with Gwen, seeing Chef get abused is hilarious."
"Hey!" Chef said from somewhere offscreen.
"Since we don't like to waste weapons, Team Victory was given the snowball launcher as compensation and Lorenzo motivated the Adversity Twins to, as the team's name suggests, victory. [Team Victory winning]" Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Eighty-one contestants remain. Who will score a million big ones, and who will be sent to the Dock of Shame in disgrace? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a passing Harold in the groin. Duncan and Jacques laughed at him.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the island, passing Chris on a beach chair getting massaged by an intern, Dawn meditating with Zoey, Brady and Beth on a rope swing together, Leonard and Tammy casting "spells" while Ella watched, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Chet and Lorenzo fighting to the disapproval of Ellody and Mary.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the animals. That is, until a mutant gopher showed up. They screamed and ran away. Pan to Scott, Lightning, and Jo, who'd disrupted the session with the gopher. They high-fived.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on a rubber raft. The raft fell off a waterfall, taking them with it. Bridgette, Geoff, and Brody watched.
*Instrumental*
The three girls found Owen underwater. Owen farted, sending the rivals and more than a few dead fish to the surface. Above, Zeke, Mike, and Rodney were fishing in a little boat when the lake became littered with fish and three teenage girls. Zeke grabbed one of the dead fish and triumphantly held it over his head, while Rodney began checking out Taylor's rear.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
At one of the beaches, Katie and Sadie admired Justin. Behind them, Justin's ex Lauren sighed sadly. On the other side of the beach, Izzy, wearing a spider costume, was chasing Cameron, Dakota, and Sam for no apparent reason.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was cooking some disgusting green slop in the cafeteria. Kitty and Junior looked at each other, frightened of what was to come. Behind them sat Tyler, Leshawna, Ryan, both of the Jasmines (looking at each other, very confused), Lindsay, Mickey and Jay, and Shawn. Dave obsessively cleaned the tables, while B looked on.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sierra had Cody in a headlock out of love. Amy had Sammy in one out of hate. Cody and Sammy looked at each other and sighed.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Rock and Spud air-guitared. Courtney and Gwen looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they saw Trent jamming with them. He stopped and smiled sheepishly at the girls.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Carrie and Devin sat together on the dock, watching Tom, Jen, and Anne Maria compare fashion tips. Then the dock gave out under them, sending them into the water. It turned out Alejandro had been responsible. He grinned evilly at the camera.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher cockily smiled at Eva, who decked him in response. Behind them, Scarlett and Max passed through a field of strange blue and pink flowers, and suddenly began making out.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and then Sugar interrupted the moment by appearing between them. Angry, Emma started chasing Sugar around the camp to the amusement of the others, while Noah stared apathetically at the camera.
Team Victory
Behind the good cabin, DJ inspected the mysterious nine-petaled flowers. He sniffed a pink one. "This one smells like wet sand." Then he sniffed a blue one. "This one smells like cheese. Must be all that pollen," he said, his nose dusted in orange from the flower's sizeable stamens. He sneezed. "Hey Harold, what do you think these flowers smell like?"
"Why do you ask?" a passing Harold asked.
"I'm thinkin' these flowers might be messin' with people's heads."
"Oh, so you're, like, doing a science experiment. Cool. I'll help you." Harold bent down and sniffed a blue flower. "Cheese, specifically muenster." He sniffed a pink flower. "Blueberries and pomegranates...Leshawna," Harold sighed dreamily, his pupils dilating to their maximum size. He then wandered off to find Leshawna, only to get sprayed by a skunk he'd ran into. The stench made Harold go back to normal. "OH GOSH!" DJ heard him scream when he realized what he smelled like.
DJ looked back at the flowers. His eyes narrowed.
Confessional – DJ.
"So the pink flowers obviously make people want to be with the person they love the most more than anything else in the world," DJ mused. "And not everyone's affected because the pink ones don't smell the same to everyone. Really strong smells make the affected go back to normal." He thought some more. "I'm gonna have to look into this some more." He looked at the camera. "Oh yeah, and Harold has a crush on Leshawna, but my classmates and I already knew that."
The Cafeteria
Team CIRRRRH
Alejandro grumbled as he poked at some weird purple goo. "Morado goop is a nice change of pace from marron goop," he muttered, "but goop is still goop."
Owen, meanwhile, shoveled an enormous lump of purple into his mouth no problem.
"Meh," Duncan said, chewing on a piece of the stuff. "I've had worse in juvie."
"I've been meaning to ask you this, but how did you get sent there, exactly?"
"I burned a guy's mansion down."
"Impresivo."
"I know, right? You wouldn't believe how many nonflammable things he had in there," Duncan grinned proudly. Suddenly, he became serious. "When should we vote off Courtney?" he whispered to the Latin Mastermind.
"Patience, Duncan. If we are on the same team as her and she flubs, our alliance will be concealed easily. If all of our alliance is on the same team as her, even better our chance of ridding ourselves of that priss. We just have to wait for the right circumstances."
"Campers! Report to the Crafts Theater for challenge number four!" Chris' voice came from the PA system. "Fore!"
"So much for waiting," Duncan smirked. He and Alejandro set down their trays, most of the purple goo untouched.
"You going to eat that?" Owen asked from behind them.
Alejandro and Duncan turned around and stared at him.
"What?" Owen, his mouth covered in purple dye, asked.
Confessional – Heather.
"I need to get back on Alejandro's level," Heather said. "His alliance is going to have to strike sooner or later. I need to even the playing field for me. I need to make an alliance."
The Crafts Theater was a little ways away from the VR machine. It consisted of an enclosed stage with multiple smaller lots surrounding it. It was a single story, short and flat in structure, and had a flag with Chris' face on it hanging from the front entrance, where the kids had gathered.
"How narcissistic can this guy get?" Cody asked himself as he stared at the flag.
"I don't know, but I don't wanna find out," Dave replied.
Chris, dressed in a suit instead of his normal clothes, approached them. "Does everyone know what a talent show is?"
"A talent show?! Oh my goodness, we're doing a talent show?!" Zoey asked excitedly.
"Um, yeah Chris, we know what a talent show is, we're not exactly five-year-olds," Courtney snarked, drawing a few chuckles from the others. Gwen even laughed before catching herself.
Chris glared at her. "Anyway, we're going to show off just what you're made of. I will break you into nine teams of nine apiece and assign each team a specific area of expertise, and you may not stray from that area or you're disqualified. You have eight hours to come up with an act involving ONE of you to perform in front of Chef. The team whose talent scores the most points wins. The team that loses votes someone out.
"Now for teams. Cody, Sam, Cameron, Mary, Ellody, Trent, B, Harold, and Miles, you will have Math Talent!
"Gwen, Heather, Jasmine O., Lindsay, Tom, Justin, Sanders, Sugar, and Dave, you will have Reading Talent!
"Noah, Emma, Dawn, Shawn, Scarlett, Chet, Mike, Kitty, and Scott, you will have Science Talent!
"Courtney, Laurie, Beardo, Zeke, Izzy, Zoey, Lauren, Taylor, and MacArthur, you will have Music Talent!
"Devin, Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Duncan, Leshaniqua, Carrie, Josee, and Stephanie, you will have Videogames Talent!
"Amy, Samey, Max, Bridgette, Topher, Sierra, Crimson, Ennui, and Jen, you will have Art Talent!
"Leshawna, Jacques, Phil, Ella, Anne Maria, Beth, Katie, Sadie, and Dakota, you will have Dance Talent!
"DJ, Owen, Rodney, Lorenzo, Mickey, Jay, Junior, Spud, and Rock, you will have Food Talent!
"And Tyler, Lightning, Sky, Jo, Brick, Jasmine T., Brody, Geoff, and Eva, you will have Sports Talent! Now, I want each of you to report to the nine lots around the theater and work on your acts. At four o'clock, report to the main stage!"
Math: Cody, Sam, Cameron, Mary, Ellody, Trent, B, Harold, and Miles.
Reading: Gwen, Heather, Jasmine O., Lindsay, Tom, Justin, Sanders, Sugar, and Dave.
Science: Noah, Emma, Dawn, Shawn, Scarlett, Chet, Mike, Kitty, and Scott.
Music: Courtney, Laurie, Beardo, Zeke, Izzy, Zoey, Lauren, Taylor, and MacArthur.
Videogames: Devin, Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Duncan, Leshaniqua, Carrie, Josee, and Stephanie.
Art: Amy, Sammy, Max, Bridgette, Topher, Sierra, Crimson, Ennui, and Jen.
Dance: Leshawna, Jacques, Phil, Ella, Anne Maria, Beth, Katie, Sadie, and Dakota.
Food: DJ, Owen, Rodney, Lorenzo, Mickey, Jay, Junior, Spud, and Rock.
Sports: Tyler, Lightning, Sky, Jo, Brick, Jasmine T., Brody, Geoff, and Eva.
Math
"I have a good feeling about this," Trent said to his team.
"Don't tell me this is about your nine obsession again," Cody joked.
"I am not obsessed! Nine's just my lucky number. Think about it. Having nine songs on our albums makes them long enough to keep people interested, but short enough not to bore them."
"Fair enough," Cody conceded. "Anyone have an idea for an act?"
"I could beat-box, since music involves a lot of math," Harold offered.
"I think Chris already closed that loophole," Miles replied warily. "We should look for something else." She started to leave. "I'll go get a clipboard from my cabin so we can write ideas down."
B began pondering and lumbered off to think.
"I'll go see what B's up to," Trent said. "You guys behave yourselves." He walked off to join the Silent Inventor.
"Hey, we're all in the same social group," Mary realized. "Guys! We're all Geeks! We should totally make an alliance!"
"That's a great idea!" Cameron exclaimed. "That way, if all six of us vote together, we're more likely to get rid of strong competition! I accept!"
"So do I!" Sam grinned.
"I'm game," Ellody said calmly.
"I'll do it!" Cody said.
"Whoop whoop, represent!" Harold joined in.
Reading
"I hope our talent isn't reading my DIARY," Gwen muttered, glaring at Heather.
"Why would she do that?" Tom asked Sanders.
"Heather came to our district in eighth grade, got ahold of Gwen's diary, and read it in front of their homeroom," Sanders replied. "That's why they're such vehement rivals."
"Oh, I got you."
"Guys, chill," Jasmine O. said. "Leave this to me. I've been in theater since I was a little girl, I've got this."
"You still need something to READ, though," Dave pointed out.
"You can read Gwen's diary!" Sugar offered.
Gwen facepalmed.
"I can write something," Justin volunteered. "I'm the lyricist for my band, so I have a lot of experience with it."
"Good!" Jasmine O. beamed.
Art
"Do you think I could put together a really cute outfit for my talent?" Jen asked Bridgette.
"I don't know...Chris said we should stick to our assigned field," Bridgette replied. "I don't want us to get disqualified on a technicality."
"Chris never listed fashion as one of the talents, though," Topher pointed out. "So technically, we could still do it because it was never established as something only one team could do."
"You seem pretty sure about this."
"Of course I am. I've binge-watched every episode of the six shows and both of the movies that Chris did. He's a big fan of little loopholes like the one I described."
"Well of course YOU know everything about him," Amy grumbled, "you're practically gay for McLame-o."
"I am not! And I am perfectly straight, thank you very much, no offense to the LGBT of course."
"Prove it, then. Prove you're not gay for Chris."
Topher responded by walking over and kissing Amy full on the lips. As soon as he was done, Amy gagged and started wiping off her mouth while Topher grinned in triumph. "That enough proof for ya?"
"It's going to be a long day," Ennui sighed emotionlessly as he and Crimson watched Amy lunge at the Reality TV Fan and knock him to the ground, whilst Sammy began hitting her head against the wall in frustration.
"Agreed."
Food
"There's so many guys here," Mickey whispered.
"It's ONLY guys here," Jay whispered back. Both were intimidated by the size of many of their teammates. "What's up with that?"
"Rodney, that's what," Rock replied, he and Spud deciding to drop in on the conversation. "The dude's like, 'That girl is cute, I wonder if she's interested in me'. Like, most of the time."
"On the path of love, he is blind, and he often trips over the roots of the false positive trees," Spud added.
"So then Jen was like, 'Ew, I'm scared he'll take advantage of me', and, well, here we are."
"Would he?" Jay asked, nervous of some possible answers.
"Nah, he's a softie, and if he, like, knows a girl's not interested in him, he doesn't bother going after 'em. Most of what his problem is, like, he's got seven brothers and his mom, like, left his dad a while back, so like, he doesn't know a lot about talking to girls."
"Huh," Mickey said. "Do you think we could help him?"
This question made Rock and Spud think seriously for once.
Meanwhile, DJ had quickly written up a recipe, and was beginning to leave his team's lot.
"Where are you going?!" Lorenzo asked.
"I need to talk with Scarlett. Something fishy's going on, and I need her help."
"Did Irene the bass start putting curses on you again?" The rest of his team stared at Owen in confusion.
Confessional – Izzy.
"Even I think that was one of Owen's weirdest dreams," Izzy said, "and I once dreamt that the sky was purple swirlies, I was a cowgirl wrangling smartphone chargers, and everyone else wore rutabagas on their heads. And that wasn't even the weirdest of my dreams."
Confessional – MacArthur.
"Okay, it's official, that girl has issues," MacArthur said of her teammate.
Videogames
"It's a shame we don't have Sam on our team," Ryan sighed. "We'd be secured for first place for sure."
"Don't worry, Devin's pretty good at videogames, which is more than I can say for me," Carrie reassured him. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied Duncan talking to her crush, and she grimaced a little.
"Something wrong?"
"No, it's nothing. Can you go check on Stephanie? You know how competitive she gets."
"Sure thing." Ryan left, but he knew Stephanie was out trying to find a functioning console for them to use. No, where Ryan went was somewhere else...
Guy's Alliance
"So," Alejandro began, his four-man alliance behind the lot, "let us call together the first official meeting of the Coalicion de los Hombres, and let us begin. Who on our team is the weakest link?"
"Uh..."
"Besides you, Devin."
"I dunno...I don't think Ryan would be happy if I voted for Stephanie."
"And I'm not voting for Carrie," Ryan replied. "She could help us out."
"She's a goody-goody like Courtney, only with less of a spine," Duncan retorted. Devin's eyes narrowed in anger.
"Duncan, calm down," Alejandro said. "We still have the option to vote out either Josee or Leshaniqua. Both are headstrong, tough, and intelligent, and this will make them tough opponents. Thoughts?"
"I joined this alliance so I could get out from under Jacques and Josee," Devin confessed, "so I'd go with Josee."
"Hey guys, whatcha doin'?"
"AAAAAH!" the four screamed. Brady, who was wandering around behind the lot, had overheard them.
"Dios! I forgot about him," Alejandro cursed. To Brady he said, "This is none of your business. Please leave."
"Actually, we've got an alliance. You want to join?" Ryan asked.
"WHAT?!"
"Cool! I'm in!" Brady smiled.
"Ryan," Alejandro growled, "why would you-"
"Wait. Our team has nine people. Five is more than half of nine." Duncan looked at Ryan and smiled. "You wanted to give us a majority, didn't you?"
"Guilty as charged."
Alejandro thought it over and smiled. "I must say, I did not think we'd need a majority. But Ryan is right. With five people voting the same way, our alliance is bound to triumph. Thanks, compadre."
"Don't mention it."
"Alright, so..."
As they talked, Heather, who'd left her team to go to the bathroom, saw everything and scowled. "That tears it. I'm forming an alliance of my own. But first, I gotta pee."
"One hour down, seven to go," Chris said. "Will the Guy's Alliance come through, or will Devin be kicked out?"
"Hey!"
"Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
Science
"Do any of us have like, lab equipment or something?" Chet asked. "We're probably going to need it."
"I have some back in my cabin," Scarlett replied, "and I think there's some in the Schoolwork Area. But we shouldn't go looking for it until after we've decided on our talent."
"I could explain how zombies are created," Shawn offered.
"That's not true science," Scarlett replied.
"Yes it is! The zombie apocalypse is gonna come. I know it."
Scarlett sighed.
Confessional – Noah.
"In case you haven't noticed, Shawn has a phobia of zombies," Noah explained. "In all honesty, I really don't want to be here. A million bucks would be nice, but not if it means sticking with the same nuts I've been stuck with all my life."
Dawn was walking along while looking down at the ground, trying to find some interesting rocks in case they needed to stoop to geology. But she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, and wound up bumping into something big, warm, and soft. She looked up and saw a towering Jamaican-Canadian looking down at her sheepishly.
"I am so sorry," he apologized. "I didn't see you down there. You alright?" He paused. "Uh..."
Dawn, who had been quietly blushing, snapped back into reality. "No, no, it's alright, I wasn't looking where I was going. Y'know, I've seen you around school, but we've never been formally introduced. I'm Dawn, the Moonchild."
"DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart. You know where Scarlett is? I need to talk with her."
"Why? Aren't you on another team?"
"I found something that's bigger than all of us," DJ replied. "And it could hurt a lot of people. I need help finding out what it is so we can stop it."
Dawn's blush returned. "I will take you to her."
Confessional – Dawn.
"His aura is so teal!" Dawn squealed. "Not only is that my favorite color, but it's also the one associated with compassion! I think I've met my true love!"
"Whoa, DJ, are you trying to sneak a look at what we're doing?" Chet asked, surprised at seeing DJ in his team's lot.
"What? No! I needed Scarlett's help."
"You rang?" Scarlett asked, appearing behind him.
DJ jumped. "Ah! Oh, right, yeah, I did. I found these freaky flowers behind the good cabin. Some smell like cheese, and some smell like wet sand."
"I smelled that too, actually," Noah mentioned. "I thought we were a little far from the beach."
"And get this: some people think they smell fruity. Then they go after whoever they love most. Only things that smell really strong can stop them."
Scarlett's eyes widened. "What do these flowers look like, exactly?"
"The plants are short, and the flowers have nine petals. Some are blue, and some are pink."
Scarlett grimaced. "If those plants are what I think they are, we're going to be in a lot of danger. Noah, Emma, I need you to collect a sample of a blue and a pink flower each." She produced two glass specimen jars and two flowerpots and handed them over. "And be careful. Noah's obviously immune, but we don't have a way to determine if Emma is. Short of ripping open her skull, that is."
"Well, that got dark quickly," Emma snarked. This caught Noah's attention.
"Wait, what about our talent?" Mike asked while Noah and Emma left.
"We'll just throw something together with colored fire. This takes priority," Scarlett said gravely.
Videogames
"I got the consoles!" Stephanie announced, walking into her team's lot with some videogame consoles.
"Alright!" Ryan said. "I knew I could count on you, Steph." Stephanie beamed. "Devin, try each one out and see which works best for you."
Devin walked over and took one of the consoles. "Hey, is there a TV or something I can use to practice?"
"I found a TV," Carrie said, pushing over an old-fashioned TV with a disk slot on the bottom. "I don't know if Chris will provide us with a game, though."
"He would have to," Alejandro pondered. "He didn't allow any electronic devices of our own on the island, and the only computers are in the Schoolwork Area."
"And their wifi is crap," Duncan muttered.
"Hey everybody! Look what I found under the floorboards!" Brady called. He ran over and showed some videogame CDs.
"Way to go, Brady!" Devin said. "Okay, now we just need to figure out which-"
"No time fo' that!" Leshaniqua barked. She shoved a random console into his hands. "We need you to practice. So get your game on, Devin!"
Devin gulped, frightened of her temper.
Confessional – Leshawna.
"My family's always put pride in being tough and stubborn," Leshawna grinned. "It keeps us alive. Though I think Leshaniqua takes it a bit more seriously than the rest of us," she admitted.
The good cabin
Noah and Emma had finally made it, and saw the field. "Whoa," Noah said, the first time either had spoken on their journey. "How did I not see those?"
"Your guess is as good as mine." Emma sniffed the air. "Wet sand. I'm safe. Start digging." They selected two that were separate from the main grove. "Listen..."
Noah looked at her.
"About what Mrs. O'Halloran probably said...I'm sorry if I got you in trouble."
"So you didn't ask her to go after me?"
"No." Emma sighed. "Kitty was the one who wanted me to hang out with you guys. I kinda got turned off from having a social life after something that happened at my old school. My sister figured that we may as well start with you guys if we wanted a fresh start."
"Everyone starts as a Misfit, as you probably know. I just never bothered joining any of those stupid cliques later on. Seriously, I don't need some preppy telling me how to live my life, alright?"
"Same." Emma smiled a bit. Now for part two. "How many of you are there? Misfits, I mean."
"A lot. Owen, Tyler, Mickey and Jay, Beardo, Zeke, B, Brick, myself (duh), Mike, Rodney I'm pretty sure counts even though he's a freshman, Eva, Dawn, Ella, Carrie, Beth, Izzy, Sanders, MacArthur, and those are just the ones on this dump of an island."
"Wow. Counting me and Kitty, that's twenty-one people. A quarter of the original eighty-four. I'm surprised you haven't made an alliance yet."
"I've never been a big fan of people."
"Well, you may need to be one soon. I have an idea to stick it to Blaineley and everyone like her." She took a deep breath.
"Would you like to form an alliance with me?"
Noah was surprised and dropped his shovel. No one had ever asked to be his friend before. He didn't know how to respond. "...I'll...think about it..."
Confessional – Emma.
"Well, at least he's considering it."
Four o'clock came. All nine groups congregated in the audience. Heather was sandwiched between Courtney and Scott, and got an idea.
"Psst! Courtney! Scott!"
The two looked at her.
"Alejandro's made an alliance, and I need some help to even the odds. Would you two mind forming one with me?"
"I'm all for an alliance," Courtney whispered back, "but why us?"
"You're the most dependable of my clique. I know you don't like Lindsay much, plus she's too nice and might forget who we're voting for. Sammy's a pushover and Amy's a narcissist almost as bad as Chris. And Scott, I picked you because you're a reliable way of getting information AND a physical threat to boot."
"But why both of us?" Scott whispered.
"You dated back in ninth grade. I figured there'd be enough lingering friendliness between you two so you wouldn't try to kill each other."
"She's got a point," Scott admitted. "For old times' sake, Court?" he asked his ex.
Courtney smiled a little. "For old times."
"CAMPERS! WELCOME TO THE FIRST-EVER WAWANAKWA TALENT SHOOOOOOOOW!" Chris boomed from the front, catching everyone's attention. "Nine teams, nine talents, nine times to try to impress Chef!"
Chef sat on a stool in front of the stage. "This better be worth it," he muttered.
"We're going in reverse order so Sports! You're up!"
Sky walked along a balance beam to the other end, then cartwheeled back to the front. She repeated it, then jumped on a springboard and launched into the air.
"I've never been one for gymnastics," Chef muttered.
Then Sky came crashing down on her side. Luckily, the mat was soft, so she didn't break anything.
"But I'm all for messing them up!" he laughed. "Seven points!"
Sky groaned and limped off the stage.
"You okay?" Dave asked Sky as she sat next to him.
"I've had worse, I'll be fine. But thanks for asking."
"Food! You're up!"
The team had decided against actually cooking, since that would take far too long, but luckily they'd found a backup. This was the reason why Owen swallowed the contents of an entire bottle of grape soda before proceeding to belch the entire Greek alphabet.
"It's Greek for extra challengesies," Owen clarified.
"Not bad, I did some military work in Greece," Chef said. "Seven points."
"Okay, ew," Gwen shuddered.
"I know, right?" Leshawna tsked. "'S'what you get for having no girls on the team."
"You will THANK me later," Jen retorted.
"Dance! You're up!"
Confessional – Phil.
"I wanted to give someone else a chance," Phil said, "and although Leshawna had excellent rhythm her gyrating butt lacked coordination. Also the ability to get past the censors. In the end, I think our act turned out alright."
Beth had a pair of batons and twirled them around, tossing them into the air before catching them. Although her skill was impressive, Chef didn't think so. "I don't know what the appeal of that stuff is," he grumbled. "Five points."
"Well I thought it was pretty good," Brady muttered.
"At least they weren't on fire," Jacques said. "THAT would be a disaster."
"Art! You're up!"
Ennui took a piece of charcoal and a blank canvas. He began rapidly scribbling on it.
The result was a macabre portrait of himself and Crimson, and although the camera could only see their heads, Chef could see all of it. And frankly, what the camera couldn't see scared him a little.
But Chef was tough, so he calmly said "Eight points."
"We're in the lead," Crimson said flatly. "Yay."
"Don't get too emotional," Ennui replied monotonously. "Another team could still win."
"How many points can we get, anyway?" Sammy asked.
"Ten at the most, probably. Chris likes ten-pointers," Topher replied confidently.
"I still say you're gay for him," Amy grumbled, "and DON'T try to prove otherwise unless you plan on snogging Samey's ugly lips."
"Nah. It's not as funny when it's her. And besides, you're identical twins, your lips are the same."
Amy sighed in exasperation.
"Videogames! You're up!"
"Okay!" Devin said to the audience. "I'm going to play a level of a very hard racing game, one of the world's toughest to beat. How it got under the floorboards, I'll never know." He loaded the game, found his level, and started playing.
His team watched in anticipation. Devin carefully navigated his car around those the game generated. He was winning, even though he wasn't going at top speed.
Someone in the audience thought he should speed it up.
"MOVE IT!" Leshaniqua, at the front of the stage hollered. "Pick it up, kid, we haven't got all day!"
"We've got speed limits in this game, can't go over them!" Devin replied. Leshaniqua's sudden outburst had distracted him long enough for the console, which was old and falling apart, to take a life of its own and take control of the game, thrashing Devin about. Devin finally pulled on it, then suddenly crashed to the ground on his face. The car on the screen's speedometer read ERROR MPH.
"Two points," Chef replied, unimpressed.
"DEVIN!" Carrie shrieked.
"I'm okay..." a bruised Devin said wearily as he took his seat. His alliance mates all looked at Leshaniqua, then silently nodded to each other.
They'd figured out who to vote off.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"Okay, so MAYBE I told Leshaniqua to give 'encouragement' whenever Devin was going too slow," Alejandro said slyly, "and soon Devin's complete loyalty will no longer be to those ice-licking bimbos, but to me."
"Music! You're up!"
Courtney pulled out a violin and began playing. She had good skill, but had unfortunately picked a very dull piece that put everyone to sleep.
"Four points," Chef yawned before collapsing.
Chris snuck over, pulled out a jar of warm water from behind his back, and put Chef's hand into it. He slipped off as quickly as he'd come.
Chef jolted awake and found his pants were wet.
"[D WORD] IT, CHRIS!" he bellowed.
"WAKE UP!" Courtney barked, jolting Heather and Scott awake. "It wasn't that boring...was it?"
Scott responded by falling back asleep. "Figures," Courtney muttered.
"Science! You're up!
Scott perked awake. "Oh yeah, the fire thing!"
Scarlett had several salt solutions in former spraypaint cans. She shook them up, then sprayed their contents at a canvas before throwing a lit match at it. The canvas roared to life with colored fire, producing a vestige of Scarlett's face made from flame.
"WOW! Nine points!" Chef said, impressed, as the fire was put out by an intern.
"Nice work," Chet told Scarlett.
"Thanks."
"That was cool," Max complimented.
"Thanks, love."
"We got your psycho flowers," Noah deadpanned as he and Emma heaved the heavy flowerpots up. The flowers were secured in plastic cases.
"Thank you. Now I can study these in private."
"Reading! You're up!"
"Oh, Chef, how do I compare thee to a summer's day?" Jasmine O. asked, before replying, in a completely different voice, "I dunno, personally you seemed more like a winter guy to me. And that I were a glove, and could touch that cheek...not that I want to, I'm a minor and you're what, sixty?"
"Sixty-one, and a good mashup of styles," Chef said. "Six points!"
"Well that could've gone better," Sanders noted.
"I told you we shoulda read that pale twig's diary!" Sugar declared.
"Sugar?" Heather asked. "Can you do us a favor?"
Sugar beamed.
"Shut up."
Sugar's jaw dropped.
"Math! You're up! Not to mention the world's least popular subject. Can you change our minds, or will Science take the good cabins?"
"Please lose, I need to study those flowers," Scarlett said to herself, crossing her fingers.
Sam approached a blackboard. Written on it was a long and highly complicated equation. He took a breath and began writing frantically.
To his team's surprise, the audience actually took interest, and leaned on the edge of their seats. Dakota especially so, for reasons she had yet to understand.
Eventually, Sam arrived at a number. "This is the exact percentage of Chef's body that is muscle," he explained.
"Not bad! I always wanted to know how much I had. Ten points!"
"And with that, Math wins it!" Chris announced. "Never thought I'd see my worst grades in school get the best performance, but oh well."
Confessional – Cameron.
"Our alliance got our first win!" Cameron said excitedly. "I like it!"
Confessional – Heather.
"First Sierra used the egos of the hosts to win, then those geeky losers do it too?" Heather scoffed. "That's so unfair!"
Confessional – Leshawna and Gwen.
"She's one to talk," Gwen muttered.
"Agreed, girl. She's so dang spoiled!"
"Videogames, meet me at the campfire at eight, you're sending someone home!"
Confessional – Brady.
"Oh yeah, mass vote from the Guy's Alliance coming through!" Brady declared, writing LESHANIQUA on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Carrie.
"I'll admit, my first idea was Leshaniqua, but I think you've duped Devin into an alliance with you. And I KNOW for a fact that you're a bad influence," Carrie glowered, writing DUNCAN on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Josee.
"That imbecile cost us the win. NO ONE costs Josee Besnard the gold!" Josee roared, writing DEVIN on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Devin.
"I hope this works," Devin fretted, writing LESHANIQUA on a piece of paper. "I hope I spelled that right. Does spelling count?"
"Here's how elimination works," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Videogames looked at a plate of marshmallows, three of which were colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got because drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Alejandro, Brady, Ryan, Carrie, Josee, and Stephanie."
Once they all had their marshmallows, Chris pointed to the blue marshmallow. "Blue means you received only one vote against you. Duncan, this is yours." Duncan sighed and got the marshmallow.
"Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. However, today the team is so small we don't have a greenie. Instead, we're skipping directly to orange and red. Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you're outta here. For the first time, we have both sexes represented in an elimination. Leshaniqua. Devin."
They looked at Chris.
"Leshaniqua, you scare people. A lot. Devin, you're not too bright, and didn't do the smart thing today, so you messed up. We don't have a tie, so with three votes against them...
...
...
...
...
"Devin is staying!"
Leshaniqua glared at her team while Devin breathed a sigh of relief. "Y'all made a big mistake. You threw out one of the strongest competitors here!"
"We know," Duncan replied simply. Leshaniqua rolled her eyes, got the red marshmallow, and stomped off.
Confessional – Devin.
"That was too close! I've really gotta step up my game. I owe Al one."
Confessional – Alejandro.
"Now I have Devin wrapped around my little finger," Alejandro smirked. "He has no idea what he's in for. None of them do." He laughed evilly.
Scarlett looked over the flowers, now stored in glass specimen jars, in her cabin, with DJ standing behind her apprehensively. Scarlett carefully lifted the lid off the pink one and sniffed it. As she put down the lid, her pupils dilated all the way. "Max..." she sighed dreamily. She got up and began to leave, but DJ, as he had been instructed, brought something extremely smelly to her face.
Which happened to be one of Brick's boots.
Scarlett coughed as the foul stench reached her nose and returned her to normal. "GAH!" She quickly composed herself. "Thank you. I almost lost control there."
"Hey, has anyone seen my spare boots?" Brick asked, stopping when he saw Scarlett and DJ. "What's going on here?"
"Sorry man, but we needed something smelly to keep Scarlett from going crazy," DJ apologized. "And your boots are the smelliest things around."
"Don't you ever bother CLEANING them?" Scarlett gagged.
"You can't be fussy when you're in the army." Brick noticed the mysterious flowers. "What are those?"
"Having run my experiments, I can safely conclude that they are lustblossoms. That they still grow here can only mean one thing."
DJ and Brick looked at each other nervously, then back at Scarlett, who had an ominous look on her face.
"The entire island is a ticking nuclear time bomb."
"Four down. Eighty to go," Chris said as he stood outside one of the cabins. "Who will be rewarded a million dollars, and who will choke and go to the Dock of Shame? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
"DO YOU MIND?!" Amy shouted from inside the cabin. "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"
"Sheesh, touch-y," Chris muttered.
Votes:
Devin - Leshaniqua
Alejandro - Leshaniqua
Ryan - Leshaniqua
Brady - Leshaniqua
Duncan - Leshaniqua
Leshaniqua - Devin
Carrie - Duncan
Josee - Devin
Stephanie - Devin
Results: 5-3-1 Leshaniqua-Devin-Duncan
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua
Bonus clip:
An intern was mopping the floor of one of the lots surrounding the Crafts Theater when he noticed a loose floorboard, underneath which something glowed an eerie orange. Out of curiosity, he pried it up, revealing a puddle of goo.
Stupidly, he touched it.
He screamed in pain as his body began to grow much, much bigger and hairier...