Review time!
Yeezynight14: Noted. That moment was actually meant to be similar to the scene in Island when Noah unwittingly kissed Cody's ear in his sleep. I don't ship Gwourtney in the canon because there it'd be too unstable given the conflicting personalities and what the writers did to them. However, keep in mind that this fic is set in an alternate universe, and here their personalities will be slightly different from their canon ones, enough for the pairing to work. Luckily for you, though, the ship won't set sail until most of the story is done anyway. And thanks for the critique, adapting the Action challenges is fun!
Mattafat: Dakota and Phil will be returning to serve as interns, but otherwise I'm going to keep my mouth shut so as to not reveal any spoilers.
Staci Entremont, The Pathological Liar.
"I'm SUCH an expert swimmer," Staci boasted. She jumped off and landed painfully outside the safe zone on her wide belly. "Owie."
Leonard Smith, The Wizard Wannabe.
"LIES!" Leonard shrieked. "All lies! The heart-eating trolls WANT you to think that, so when they come after you, you're willing to give up your life!"
Tamara Degrasse, The Lady LARPer.
"What do you have to say, Tammy?" Chris asked.
"BEWARE THE HOMESCHOOLED BOY!"
Leshaniqua Peters, The Tough Girl.
"No time fo' that!" Leshaniqua barked. She shoved a random console into his hands. "We need you to practice. So get your game on, Devin!"
Devin gulped, frightened by her temper.
Marlon "Spud" Douffet, The Chill Rocker.
"Any last words, Potatohead?" Chris asked.
"Not really man, I'm good," Spud said simply and humbly. "I wish the best of luck to all of you. Except you Amy, you're way too hype."
Chester "Chet" Garrett, The Couch Potato.
"These flowers would be perfect for my anniversary gift for Ellody," Chet said, picking a blue and a pink flower. "They sure smell funny though. Whoever heard of a cheese-and-sand-scented flower?"
The six contestants eliminated thus far have returned to their school. But while their ex-teammates do their schoolwork–
Cody sat unamused at his calculus workbook as Duncan fired spitballs at his head. Suddenly Sierra appeared out of nowhere and began attacking Duncan, to Cody's shock.
–we follow up on the losers. Where are they now? What are they up to? Is Leonard still a dork? This.
Is.
Aftermath: Total Drama Edition.
Theme music
The screen opened and the viewer saw two clips, side-by-side, of Staci and Leonard walking, shot from the front view. Staci was on the left, Leonard on the right. The clips then wiped up to show Tammy and Leshaniqua in the same setup. It happened again, revealing Spud and Chet. Then the clips wiped up entirely.
Kelly, Dwayne, and Gerry waved to the camera. Suddenly, a flat panel fell from the ceiling on top of them, crushing them underneath. Blaineley was sitting on the panel and waved to the camera.
A spotlight focused on a curtain. Two interns shakily held up a sign reading TOTAL DRAMA AFTERMATH I: MAGIC ISN'T FRIENDSHIP. Then they fell over, the sign falling on top of them.
"Welcome to Total Drama's first aftermath!" Blaineley said to the camera. "Our six eliminated contestants will be answering our questions from our judge's panel, and there will be some other fun stuff too! Let's meet the judges!
"From an office building, the father of our youngest contestant, Dwayne Terrot, Sr.!"
"I don't think my boss will like me being called here," a middle-aged man in a yellow polo t-shirt said nervously.
"Well tough luck, the royalties you'll get from us being able to use your image will pay you more than that crummy desk job anyway. Speaking of pay, from a mansion in downtown Muskoka, the mother of our richest contestant, Kelly Wells!"
"Hi sweetie! Mommy and Daddy miss you!" a middle-aged, spray-tanned rich woman said to the camera.
"And fresh from a tennis court, the grandfather of our clumsiest contestant, Gerry Girard!"
"I STILL don't get what my daughter saw in my son-in-law," an elderly man in a light blue tennis uniform muttered.
"Our judges will each ask a random question for each contestant," Blaineley explained. "And let's get it started with the FIRST contestant eliminated – Staci!"
Staci nervously got onto the stage in Pahkitew High's auditorium, where the Aftermath was being held, and sat in front of the judges.
"So, Staci, I remember you saying your parents wouldn't even say what Bridgette said to you," Dwayne started. "Can you tell us why that is?"
"My parents are close to the poverty line, so they often have to work odd jobs, sometimes late into the night," Staci explained. "They don't have a lot of time for me, and...well, one of my special-ed teachers said that I should tell people interesting things about my family, but since my family's poor and not well-regarded..."
"Oh," Dwayne said. "So that's why you lie."
"Actually, Staci, I've seen you hanging out with my daughter," Kelly said. "Can you explain that?"
"Your daughter uses me to lie about when she has her parties, so the 'Misfits' don't show up and 'ruin' it."
Dwayne looked a little uncomfortable and looked at an oblivious Kelly as if to say 'You actually approve of this?'
"Oh, and Staci, now that you've seen the following episodes, what do you think about what Bridgette said?" Gerry asked.
"It's TOTALLY accurate," Staci said, a bit angry. "Alejandro is such a jerk! He made fun of someone just to eliminate someone else that he didn't like. Blaineley, can we get a clip of that?"
"Of course! Aftermaths ALWAYS show clips." A projector screen unrolled, and footage from "One Flu Over the Cuckoo's" began to play...
Confessional - Alejandro.
"At this point, I am willing to throw the challenge just to get rid of the wizard boy," Alejandro growled. "And I have an idea on how. I shall convince Leonard he can use his 'magico' to promote peace. Then I create tension in the group, and when these elements come together our performance will be certainly thrown off. We are not Team Choleric, but my team does have someone with a bad temper who can help me, even inadvertently."
He showed the camera a picture of Laurie. "This woman is very judgemental, not to mention a bit intolerant and oversensitive. Provoking her shall be easy."
The scene then transitioned to previously unseen footage of Alejandro deliberately swallowing a mouthful of cinnamon water. Ignoring his body's shudders, he scooped up a handful of plastic body parts and tugged on the rope.
"And it worked," Staci said flatly as she voided her chair and went to sit in the audience.
"And let's see the results of that!" Blaineley announced. "We now go on to our second contestant eliminated, who is probably among the show's least-liked contestants – Leonard!"
Leonard got onstage and sat where Staci had. Unlike before, he was wearing regular clothes, a blue t-shirt and orange pants. He looked glum.
"Wow, you look different," Dwayne mentioned. "What's up with that?"
"Tammy and I realized our love of fantasy clouded our judgement and affected our interactions with the others," Leonard sighed. "We apologize for our earlier actions."
"What's LARP mean?" Kelly asked.
"Live-action roleplay."
"Like what my husband and I do on special nights?" This earned grossed-out looks from everyone except Blaineley, who looked as though she'd just found a great piece of blackmail.
"I don't think so..." Leonard said nervously.
"The only question I have is this: how did you not get hot in that cloak?" Gerry asked. "I'm impressed at how long you lasted in that thing without collapsing of heatstroke."
"I've had many a year of practice." Leonard got up and joined Staci in the audience.
"Now for our third eliminee – Tammy!"
Tammy sat in the chair. She was now wearing a standard black t-shirt and jean-shorts.
"Tammy, what made you hate Zeke so much?"
"Again, same as Leonard, I let my obsession take precedence. I thought Zeke's BO would affect our team."
"Well, it certainly affected another team," Blaineley chuckled. Footage from "Not-so Happy Campers" began to play...
Dave began freaking out. "There's no way I'm going in there! There are homeschooled boy germs in that water!"
"I can hear you, eh!" an offended Zeke said from somewhere below.
"The chicken hat's probably grosser, though," Jo pointed out. "I mean, it HAS been in a musty old box for who knows how long."
Dave realized this, turned around, and deliberately fell into the water. Needless to say, he did not hit the safe zone.
"So Tammy, why don't you like Gwen?" Kelly asked.
"She's a little too sarcastic for my liking," Tammy admitted. "Plus her friends scare me."
Footage of a blue-haired girl with a stern-looking face scribbling in her notebook was seen. Tammy saw the drawing and almost fell out of her chair in fright.
"...I don't remember that being on the show," Dwayne said, confused.
First Aftermath Confessional – Blaineley.
"Being the principal of a school with a zillion security cameras does have its perks," Blaineley chuckled. The Aftermath confessionals were held inside Don's classroom, which was vacant due to his students being gone.
Little did she know that Don was still there, and he'd heard what she'd said. His eyes narrowed.
"And also, did Heather really push you into the locker where you met Leonard?" Gerry asked. "I find it more than a little hard to believe."
"No, she really was the one. She wanted to establish herself as a force to be reckoned with when she transferred to the district." Tammy left her seat and went into the audience.
"And for our fourth contestant eliminated, she may not have gotten far, but at least now she can focus on her college applications – Leshaniqua!"
Leshaniqua sauntered onstage and sat in front of the judges. She looked much more relaxed than she did during the game.
"Leshaniqua, do you regret calling out to Devin and causing your elimination?" Dwayne asked.
"Yes, I do. I knew Alejandro was tricky, and I fell for it anyway!"
"Don't worry, he has that effect on us all," Leonard said from the audience.
Previously unseen footage of Alejandro conversing with Leshaniqua was seen. Leshaniqua nodded at the end of their exchange, and as she left Alejandro smirked.
"I remember your cousin saying you take your family's philosophy to heart more than the rest of them," Kelly said, trying to hide the cue card underneath her mic. "Is that so?"
"Yeah, I've been pushed around a lot in my life, and one day I decided, never again. I guess I must've gone a little too far."
"And you got pushed around by Alejandro regardless," Blaineley butted in. "How tragic."
"No one asked you," Leshaniqua growled.
"Don't take that tone with me, young lady," Blaineley growled. "I am the principal of this school."
"And you do a [s word] job of it."
While Blaineley spluttered, Gerry decided to ask his question. "So now that you've been eliminated, what are you going to do differently?"
"Relax a whole lot more, 'cuz my problem was I was too uptight," Leshaniqua replied confidently. She left for the audience.
"Okay! Next up is our first truly musical contestant eliminated, and our fifth overall – Spud!"
Spud calmly ambled into the interview chair.
"Spud seems like a strange name for a kid," Dwayne said. "How'd that happen?"
"If you were PAYING ATTENTION to the opening you'd have heard me say his REAL name, Marlon," Blaineley growled.
"Nah, it's cool. One day, I just decided that, 'Spud' felt right," Spud explained. "Like it was the real me."
"What's your favorite food?" Kelly asked.
"Chocolate Oinks. My mom says that I'm a light eater, 'cuz when the lights turn on, I eat."
"That explains a lot," Blaineley remarked. The teens in the audience, which from now on will be called the Peanut Gallery (PG), glared at her.
"What's the name of your band with Rock?" Gerry asked, curious.
"Demon Frogs. Ba na na NOW!" Spud air-guitared himself away and joined the Gallery.
"And last and least, our sixth eliminated contestant – Chet!"
Chet got onstage.
"When did you and Ellody meet?" Dwayne asked.
"We've known each other since third grade. I fell for her hard and kept asking her out, but she kept saying no. Until eighth grade, when she finally said yes."
"Reminds me of my wife," Dwayne chuckled. "Looks like you find your one early too."
"Guess so," Chet laughed.
"What's with you and Lorenzo?" Kelly asked.
"Our parents married each other last year, and we were both afraid our birth parent would forget us for the other," Chet revealed. "Turns out Lorenzo and I actually have a lot in common. We're both uber-dorks. So we decided for the sake of our parents to make peace."
"Just out of curiosity, what's the longest time you've spent on a videogame?" Gerry asked.
"Ten hours straight on Bass Boss on my Gamebox," Chet said.
"No way! I thought Rock and I were the only ones who had that game," Spud said from the audience. "If I had a hat, I'd tip it to you."
"You can tip mine," Leshaniqua offered. Spud did so as Chet joined the PG.
"Okay..." Blaineley said, clearly uninterested, "I want all of you now to name one of the four main cardinal directions. The first one that comes to mind."
At the same time: Leonard and Staci – "West!". Tammy – "East!". Spud and Chet – "South!". Leshaniqua – "North!".
"Wait, what's this for?" Kelly asked.
"Those four directions are going to be the names of next challenge's teams! Here in Aftermath, you're going to compete in challenges yourselves. The team with the most points at the end will get to send one of the teams in the next episode of the show an advantage! But what will it be? Find out after these messages."
Total Trivia: What is the name of the clearing the hot tubs were built in in the first challenge?
A. Yadda
B. Mata
C. Zata
D. Naga
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
Total Trivia: The correct answer is Zata, the word in the Algonquin language Quiripi meaning "blueberry", as Zata Clearing contains exactly 33 blueberry bushes.
"And we're back!" Blaineley announced. "We're about to conduct the Aftermath Afterchallenges! Our challenges will feature events from ones our ex-contestants missed out on, plus a little creation of my own. For our first challenge, we must dive into a tiny safe zone in the school's pool. Get in the zone, get a point for their team."
Cut to the pool. The contestants, wearing nondescript black wetsuits, waited behind the diving board.
"In order of elimination, begin!"
They did. Staci made it into the safe zone this time, and Leonard and Tammy did again as well. Leshaniqua, Chet, and Spud did not, however.
"Two points West, one point East." Blaineley said. "Next!"
Now the eliminees were relatively dry, back in their normal clothes, and sitting on carpets, with plastic fragments scattered around them.
"For our second challenge, our teams will have to put together the most parts of a bust of me together in thirty seconds beginning...now!"
The teams scrambled to get them finished in time. But only Spud and Chet were able to finish it.
"Annnd time! Our score is now two points West, one point East, two points South."
Confessional – Staci.
"Is it bad that I wasn't comfortable with touching – nope, no it wasn't, Blaineley's a creeper."
"For our third challenge, our ex-contestants must dodge fake snowballs! Last one standing wins!"
A miniature snowball launcher began firing white balls of mush at the contestants. By the time it ran out, only Leonard was still standing.
"Three points West, one point East, two points South. North doesn't look like it's doing well," Blaineley mocked. Leshaniqua responded by throwing one of the fake snowballs at the hostess, but she dodged it, and the baseball flew to the judge's table. Gerry pulled out a tennis racket from his pocket and deflected it, and it hit Blaineley on the back of the head. The teens laughed at her misfortune.
First Judge Confessional – Gerry.
"I never leave home without Willford," Gerry said, affectionately patting his racket.
Confessional – Leonard.
"How he fit that racket in his pants pocket, THAT is real magic right there."
"Laugh it off now, but I will get revenge! It's not a challenge, but you will have to face...The Trial by Lustblossom! Except you, Chet, you're immune."
"WHAT?! You brought those dang flowers HERE?!" Leshaniqua gasped.
"Not exactly," Blaineley smirked. "I had some scientists I know isolate the pheromone and mass-produce them in aerosol form. One spritz, and you'll be down for the count in no time!"
After forcing gas masks onto the judges and herself, Blaineley pulled out a remote from her dress and pressed a button. Two machine-gun-looking devices emerged from the ceiling ("How long have those been there?!" an incredulous Chet asked), and the one on the right sprayed a fine pink mist. When it cleared, Leonard and Tammy were making out. Everyone else was unaffected.
"Darn," Blaineley muttered. "I was hoping for more drama." She pressed another button on the remote, and the one on the left sprayed a blue mist that brought them back to normal.
"Oh, my, well, this is embarassing," Tammy chuckled, blushing.
"Yah, no crap," Staci muttered.
"I also had the scent of the male flowers' pollen concentrated to cancel out the female pheromones," Blaineley explained. "And don't worry about anyone else getting lovestruck, apparently the chemicals break down quickly or something. Next challenge!"
"For our fourth Aftermath Afterchallenge, our eliminees must burp the alphabet! The person who upchucks the most letters before they run out of air wins!"
After drinking some nondescript-brand grape soda, the six of them attempted to belch it, with varying success. Most of them only got to A, but Staci managed to get to C, and Chet made it to H before he ran out of air.
"Three points West, one point East, three points South. Next!"
"For our fifth challenge, our eliminees must protect their eggs from Dwayne with a baseball bat!" Each team had been given half a dozen chicken eggs on a podium in front of them, and Dwayne had been given a baseball bat. He looked apprehensive.
"Begin!"
Dwayne attempted to tiptoe over to Leshaniqua's spot, but she had none of it. She effortlessly picked him up and threw him aside, causing him to crash down onto the other podiums. Everyone but Leshaniqua, who was panting heavily, and an impressed Blaineley, winced.
"Three points West, one point East, three points South, and finally a point for North. Moving on to the final challenge! ...Can someone get this meatbag off my stage?"
"And now, the last challenge. This one is worth THREE points instead of the usual one. Our eliminated contestants must wade barefoot...through not-actually real lava! Whoever walks through to the other side first wins!"
The five contestants not named Spud gulped in terror. But the one who was named Spud calmly removed his shoes and socks before wading across a puddle of boiling tomato soup undeterred.
"...What?" Tammy asked. "Was that a fireproofing spell?"
Confessional – Spud.
"Delayed reaction time, man," Spud said calmly. "I have to like, wait until I feel pain." Then his eyes widened. "YEOWCH!"
"And with that, South goes from three points to six, and the South Team in the show will get... a thirty-second headstart!" Blaineley smiled at the camera. "So while Spud's getting treated for second-degree burns, let's look at some of Total Drama's Funniest Moments!"
"Broken...brokener...brokenest!"
As Blaineley said that, three clips from "Not-so Happy Campers" began to play: Sierra punching the buoy Cody had gotten his kiwis pulped by, cracking it, then Tyler slamming into the same buoy headfirst, making the crack even bigger, and then Courtney landing on it, finally breaking it and letting the sharks move in.
"This one was plain gym-nasty!"
Sky messing up during her act in the talent show.
"Our first barf of the series."
Owen-Deinocheirus vomiting plants up for Anne Maria-Therizinosaurus to eat.
"And our first mass upchuck of the series!"
Everyone vomiting after Owen farted.
"In Total Drama, game plays you!"
Devin getting beaten up by the console.
"The beginnings of young love...or not."
Noah and Emma hitting each other in the face with snowballs and knocking each other out.
"No one likes the person who screws everyone over."
Tammy getting covered with snowballs.
"And some people just can't catch a break."
MacArthur faceplanting into the ground and screaming into it.
"And now, for our final part of the Aftermath, we will have you guys root for someone still in the game," Blaineley said to the eliminated contestants. Spud was now in a wheelchair and had both feet bandaged up. "At the end of the show, we'll tally the votes, and whoever has the most supporters will receive a prize! As for the person who gets the most votes against them by the end of the show, they will get a punishment of my own creation, befitting of Total Drama's least popular contestant. Go to the confessionals and vote now."
Confessional – Staci.
"I'm going with Bridgette. She seems pretty nice, although I don't know her that well. I want to give back to her protecting me from that Spanish snake. He lies even more than I do! And to hurt people too, sad, I know."
Confessional – Leonard and Tammy.
"We're both going with Ella," Leonard began. "She actually spent time with us, something no one else wanted to do. Plus we really connect with her roleplaying as a princess."
"She's a real sweetie," Tammy piped up. "And she's one of the greatest singers I've ever heard!"
"Truer songs have not come from a greater bard than Ella."
Confessional – Leshaniqua.
"I have to go with Leshawna. Family helps family, you know."
Confessional – Spud.
"Rock is still gonna be my main man, dudes. Rock on, Rock. Rock on. ...What if Rock had a rock on his head? That'd be, like, so crazy."
Confessional – Chet.
"Ellody. I figure this'd at least make up for the flower mess."
"And that's the end of that," Blaineley said. "Tune in after Challenge 12 for the second Aftermath."
The bell rang.
"And that's the end of lunch. Now go back to class before I give you detention!"
"Does that include us?" Dwayne asked.
"Ugh...why do I always get the stupid ones?" Blaineley muttered.
Votes against:
Owen – 0
Dakota – 0
B – 0
Noah – 0
Cody – 0
Ella – 1
Izzy – 0
Emma – 0
Kitty – 0
Junior – 0
Sierra – 1
Topher – 0
Beth – 0
Brady – 0
Justin – 0
Katie – 0
Sadie – 0
Lorenzo – 0
Mary – 0
Brick – 0
Ennui – 0
Crimson – 0
Scott – 0
Phil – 0
Heather – 7
Lindsay – 0
Taylor – 0
Alejandro – 4
Devin – 3
Carrie – 0
Ryan – 0
Stephanie – 0
Miles – 0
Laurie – 0
Anne Maria – 0
Lauren – 0
Cameron – 0
Mike – 0
Eva – 0
DJ – 0
Sam – 0
Scarlett – 2
Max – 0
Rodney – 2
Zeke – 2
Sugar – 5
Sanders – 0
MacArthur – 0
Zoey – 0
Gwen – 3
Leshawna – 0
Jasmine O. – 0
Trent – 0
Harold – 0
Ellody – 0
Chet – 11 (Eliminated 6th)
Leonard – 13 (Eliminated 2nd)
Tammy – 14 (Eliminated 3rd)
Dawn – 0
Leshaniqua – 5 (Eliminated 4th)
Shawn – 0
Lightning – 6
Jo – 0
Amy – 7
Sammy – 0
Jasmine T. – 0
Sky – 0
Mickey – 0
Jay – 0
Tom – 0
Jen – 0
Dave – 0
Geoff – 0
Bridgette – 0
Courtney – 4
Duncan – 3
Tyler – 0
Rock – 0
Spud – 8 (Eliminated 5th)
Staci – 6 (Eliminated 1st)
Beardo – 0
Jacques – 1
Josee – 0
Brody – 0
Votes for Winner:
Owen – None
Dakota – None
B – None
Noah – None
Cody – None
Ella – Leonard, Tammy (2)
Izzy – None
Emma – None
Kitty – None
Junior – None
Sierra – None
Topher – None
Beth – None
Brady – None
Justin – None
Katie – None
Sadie – None
Lorenzo – None
Mary – None
Brick – None
Ennui – None
Crimson – None
Scott – None
Phil – None
Heather – None
Lindsay – None
Taylor – None
Alejandro – None
Devin – None
Carrie – None
Ryan – None
Stephanie – None
Miles – None
Laurie – None
Anne Maria – None
Lauren – None
Cameron – None
Mike – None
Eva – None
DJ – None
Sam – None
Scarlett – None
Max – None
Rodney – None
Zeke – None
Sugar – None
Sanders – None
MacArthur – None
Zoey – None
Gwen – None
Leshawna – Leshaniqua (1)
Jasmine O. – None
Trent – None
Harold – None
Ellody – Chet (1)
Chet – N/A
Leonard – N/A
Tammy – N/A
Dawn – None
Leshaniqua – N/A
Shawn – None
Lightning – None
Jo – None
Amy – None
Sammy – None
Jasmine T. – None
Sky – None
Mickey – None
Jay – None
Tom – None
Jen – None
Dave – None
Geoff – None
Bridgette – Staci (1)
Courtney – None
Duncan – None
Tyler – None
Rock – Spud (1)
Spud – N/A
Staci – N/A
Beardo – None
Jacques – None
Josee – None
Brody – None
After the Aftermath:
Blaineley and Chris were video-chatting. "Well, so far so good, right? The six voted off weren't too popular in school," Blaineley said. "This was a great idea, honey. Total Drama will prove once and for all that popular people are the best!"
"I know, and thanks," Chris chuckled. "With predominately physical challenges, we'll weed out the wimps before the final 42."
"Although I am a bit worried that Noah may act on Emma's proposal for an alliance," Blaineley admitted. "The real reason I didn't want them interacting wasn't just popular-vs-loser. From what her parents told me when she was getting transferred over, Emma is feisty and doesn't take crap from anyone. And Noah is incredibly intelligent and knows all the ins and outs of our system. If they put their heads together, they could undermine the school's entire social structure. No more cliques for good."
Both shuddered at the thought.
"Don't worry, the next challenge is physical, and as Noah said himself, he hates physical," Chris reassured her. "We'll send him packing before you can say Chef."
"Huh?" Chef asked from offscreen.
"No, not...never mind." The transmission ended, both hosts unaware that they'd just jinxed themselves.