Review Time!
Yeezynight14: Thanks! I knew the aftermath would show off Blaineley's sadism well. Fun fact: Gerry wasn't originally going to be a judge, but I later decided to include him to balance their dynamic better. This chapter will redo one of my least favorite episodes of the classic series.
Thursday, September 28, 2017
"Last time on Total Drama – EARTHQUAKES! [Tyler tumbling across the shake table] HURRICANES! [Ella getting wet] VOLCANOES! [Owen burning his tongue] BAD SPORTSMANSHIP! [Jacques walking away from the hole Brody was in] Okay, only the last one was real. Our three teams made an homage to disaster movies with a timed obstacle course! [Team Amazon reaching the pine tree] The winner, in this case Team I'm Hotter Than All The Dads Watching This Show, got an advantage for part two – escaping from a sinking sub! [The interns puncturing holes in the old submarines] Due to the island once having been a nuclear waste dump, Chet managed to get ahold of some freaky flowers [Chet picking two lustblossoms] that cost his team the win and him a chance at a million dollars. [Chet's elimination] But Team Amazon went from last to first with a little help from obsessive fangirl Sierra [Sierra weaving the stopper] and braniac BFFs Mary and Ellody."
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Seventy-eight contestants remain. Who will swerve to safety, and who will sit out for the rest of the game? Find out in today's episode of
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a passing Harold in the groin. Duncan and Jacques laughed at him.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the island, passing Chris on a beach chair getting massaged by an intern, Dawn meditating with Zoey, Brady and Beth on a rope swing together, Leonard and Tammy casting "spells" while Ella watched, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Chet and Lorenzo fighting to the disapproval of Ellody and Mary.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the animals. That is, until a mutant gopher showed up. They screamed and ran away. Pan to Scott, Lightning, and Jo, who'd disrupted the session with the gopher. They high-fived.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on a rubber raft. The raft fell off a waterfall, taking them with it. Bridgette, Geoff, and Brody watched.
*Instrumental*
The three girls found Owen underwater. Owen farted, sending the rivals and more than a few dead fish to the surface. Above, Zeke, Mike, and Rodney were fishing in a little boat when the lake became littered with fish and three teenage girls. Zeke grabbed one of the dead fish and triumphantly held it over his head, while Rodney began checking out Taylor's rear.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
At one of the beaches, Katie and Sadie admired Justin. Behind them, Justin's ex Lauren sighed sadly. On the other side of the beach, Izzy, wearing a spider costume, was chasing Cameron, Dakota, and Sam for no apparent reason.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was cooking some disgusting green slop in the cafeteria. Kitty and Junior looked at each other, frightened of what was to come. Behind them sat Tyler, Leshawna, Ryan, both of the Jasmines (looking at each other, very confused), Lindsay, Mickey and Jay, and Shawn. Dave obsessively cleaned the tables, while B looked on.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sierra had Cody in a headlock out of love. Amy had Sammy in one out of hate. Cody and Sammy looked at each other and sighed.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Rock and Spud air-guitared. Courtney and Gwen looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they saw Trent jamming with them. He stopped and smiled sheepishly at the girls.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Carrie and Devin sat together on the dock, watching Tom, Jen, and Anne Maria compare fashion tips. Then the dock gave out under them, sending them into the water. It turned out Alejandro had been responsible. He grinned evilly at the camera.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher cockily smiled at Eva, who decked him in response. Behind them, Scarlett and Max passed through a field of lustblossoms, and suddenly began making out.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and then Sugar interrupted the moment by appearing between them. Angry, Emma started chasing Sugar around the camp to the amusement of the others, while Noah stared apathetically at the camera.
"Okay, campers, we're going to have a challenge right here in the Drama Gym!" Chris announced, standing at a table. The contestants were sitting in the bleachers of a fairly large gymnasium. "But first, I need to explain some things." He pulled out a keychain with an image of himself printed on it. The only difference between the clothes of the image and the ones he was wearing was the shirt in the picture was light gray. He then pointed to five more of these keychains on the table. "Behold! The Official Chris McLean Brand Immunity Keychains of POWAAAH!"
Thunder roared behind him. Cut to reveal Beardo was the source of the noise.
"Scattered around the island are special immunity idols, one for each of you." Chris turned the one in his hands over to reveal STACI printed on the back in permanent marker. "I had my interns hide these while you guys were playing dinosaurs. Then they had to go retrieve Spud's from a woodpecker's nest after his elimination.
"So...Heather, I know you have enemies. And let's say that one day, your team is up for elimination, and they want you out. But if you have an immunity idol, you can play it, and you won't just be safe from that campfire ceremony. You'll be immune for the next nine too!"
"Wow, talk about overkill," Sam remarked.
"But there's a twist. The person who received the next-highest votes may not be the one kicked out. Whoever is eliminated is the one whose name was written on that particular idol. So let's say Heather plays the idol with 'GWEN' written on it. Gwen is automatically eliminated from the game, even if she wasn't on Heather's team."
"You WOULD do that," Gwen snarked to Heather.
"Fight me, pasty."
Chris ignored them. "After ten elimination ceremonies, the first being the one you played the idol in, your immunity is gone, and it's back to the grind. The idol, meanwhile, becomes unusable, as evidenced by my shirt in the picture turning from teal to gray.
"But there are some ground rules regarding the idols that I'd like to cover before we start the challenge. First off, anyone who is immunized CANNOT receive votes against them. Anyone who votes for the immune is automatically eliminated. If you play multiple immunity idols, you will still be immune for ten eliminations, not twenty, thirty, or until the end of the game. You'll just eliminate multiple people and will probably get eliminated once your immunity is used up.
"If you play an immunity idol against someone who is immune, you get eliminated, but in this case the immunized person can choose who else gets immunity. Playing your own immunity idol doesn't eliminate you, but your immunity only lasts for five eliminations instead of ten.
"Finally, when we reach the final ten, the teams will merge. There will be no more teams, and no more voting. Each person will be in a race-like competition to the challenge's finish line, and the last one there will be a rotten egg and as such will get thrown out. When the teams merge, the immunity idols become meaningless, and all idols that haven't been found by my interns already (the idols are microchipped, BTW) will be removed from the island.
"Got that?"
Confessional – Courtney.
"Well of course I do," Courtney smirked.
"Uh...what's the challenge?" Lindsay asked.
"Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me." Chris pulled out, from behind his back, a massive rack of jerseys. The rack had four rows of different colors (royal purple, light blue, lime green, copper brown), with nineteen jerseys in each row.
"Um, Chris? Seventy-eight isn't evenly divisible by four," Harold interjected. "To get everyone you'd want two teams of thirty-nine, three teams of twenty-six, or six teams of thirteen."
"WOW, Doris, I never knew you could be such a dork," Duncan chortled. Courtney elbowed him. "Ow! What?"
"I thought of that," Chris replied. "And I have a solution. Two people will be floaters in each round of...dodgeball! Decide who floats now."
"I'm out," Noah said quickly.
"Me too," Dakota added.
"Well, I guess that's that," Chris said. A whole lot of people glared at the floaters, but especially at Noah.
Confessional – Owen.
Owen sighed disappointedly. "Oh...Noah, I know you don't like sports, but you don't wanna be a target either!"
Confessional – Noah.
"I don't know HOW Chris did it, but I'm still sore from the VR challenge," Noah said crossly. "There is no way I'm playing dodgeball. Not since The Incident." He shuddered.
Confessional – Dakota.
"I just did my nails, and I don't want to use my hands until I'm certain they're dry," Dakota said, showing off her glittery pink fingernails to the camera.
"The rest of you...hmmmm...Cody, Sierra, Eva, MacArthur, Jo, Trent, Sammy, Amy, Jen, Katie, Sadie, Dave, Shawn, Jasmine T., Sam, Harold, Ellody, Beardo, and Mary. You will be the North Team, and your color is purple. Come down and get your jerseys."
Once they had all left the bleachers and all the jerseys were over their shirts, Chris continued. "Mike, Courtney, Dawn, Emma, Max, Tyler, Ella, Sugar, Kitty, Crimson, Brody, Taylor, Junior, Jacques, Josee, Jay, Lorenzo, Anne Maria, and DJ. You will be the South Team, and your color is green."
Once they were done getting their jerseys, Chris continued. "Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Devin, Duncan, Heather, Scott, Scarlett, Izzy, Topher, Laurie, Miles, Lightning, Justin, Mickey, Ennui, Cameron, Leshawna, and Zoey. You will be the East Team, and your color is blue."
Chris finished with "Everyone else, you are the West Team, and your color is brown."
When all the jerseys were gone, Chris said, "Okay, now for the actual challenge. We will be playing five rounds of Drama Dodgeball. Just like normal dodgeball, the last team standing wins the round. First team down gets one point, second and third down get two and three points respectively, and the team who hasn't lost everyone gets four points. The team with the most points at the end of all five rounds wins the challenge. The team with the least votes someone out. The floaters will be immune."
Alejandro looked bummed.
"But Noah and Dakota won't be floaters by the time the game is up." Alejandro perked up at this. "We want EVERYONE to have at least ONE bruise by the end of this. So at the end of Round One, Noah and Dakota will join the East Team, and two people from the East Team will sit out for Round Two. When that round is up, the floaters will join the South Team, and two people from that team will sit out, and so on, counterclockwise until two people from the North Team sit out the final round. THOSE floaters and ONLY those floaters will be safe from being voted off."
Amy gave Sammy a look as if to say 'We're floating last round.'
"And now for the gameplay. Each team has their designated corner, marked by a flag." Pan to reveal a flag in the West corner. Chris made a motion to Chef, who dropped some rubber balls in that section. There were six yellow balls and one copper brown ball. "Each team gets seven balls. Six of them are yellow and can be handled by anyone. One of them is in the team's color and can only be touched by people of that team. If anyone else touches them, they're automatically out and join our two chumps in the bleachers."
"I resent that!" Noah shouted from his seat, not even bothering to look up from War and Peace.
"Me too! I think...what does resent mean again?" Dakota asked. From where she was standing, Taylor facepalmed.
"Get to your spots now. Once you have, the game will begin! Due to events from the Aftermath, South will get a thirty-second headstart!"
North: Cody, Sierra, Eva, MacArthur, Jo, Trent, Sammy, Amy, Jen, Katie, Sadie, Dave, Shawn, Jasmine T., Sam, Harold, Ellody, Beardo, and Mary.
South: Mike, Courtney, Dawn, Emma, Max, Tyler, Ella, Sugar, Kitty, Crimson, Brody, Taylor, Junior, Jacques, Josee, Jay, Lorenzo, Anne Maria, and DJ.
East: Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Devin, Duncan, Heather, Scott, Scarlett, Izzy, Topher, Laurie, Miles, Lightning, Justin, Mickey, Ennui, Cameron, Leshawna, and Zoey.
West: Owen, Gwen, Beth, Geoff, Carrie, Sky, Brick, Phil, Rock, Stephanie, Tom, Lauren, Zeke, Lindsay, Bridgette, Rodney, Sanders, B, and Jasmine O.
Floaters: Noah, Dakota (to East)
Votes for Winner:
"Begin Round One."
As soon as the prerecorded voice went silent, South conversed among themselves to discuss strategy, unfortunately undoing their advantage by the time they finished.
"Wow," Chris deadpanned, unamused. "Okay, someone else start the game. I wanna see PAIN!"
MacArthur complied and picked up a yellow ball and threw it at West, where it hit Rodney, who was drooling over her, in the chest.
Chef, who was the referee, blew his whistle. "Farm Twit! You're out!"
As soon as Rodney began to leave, Brick threw a yellow ball back at North, but Jo caught it. With an evil look in her eyes, she threw it back at him. Brick narrowly dodged it, and while the ball hit Lorenzo in the head ("Motivator! You're out!"), in retaliation Brick threw the brown ball at Jo. It hit her in the groin, sending her to the ground.
"Jock Girl! You're out!"
"Nice going," Stephanie grunted. "Now our ball is all the way over there!"
"No worries, ma'am," Brick said confidently. "I can retrieve it. Even under enemy fire."
"Methinks that's our cue," Heather smirked, before picking up one of her team's yellow balls and firing it at North, where it hit Trent in the arm. ("Music Man! You're out!") She quickly spun around, picked two off the ground, and threw them at South, taking out both of the Ice Dancers and Ella ("Ice Nerds! Princess Lady! You're out!"). South began firing its own balls, as did North, forcing the poor Cadet to crawl on the ground, desperately trying to avoid striking out, while Chef fired off his nicknames for everyone who was hit by the barrage of rubber.
He eventually made it to North's corner, and placed his hands on what he thought was his team's ball. But then he discovered Dave had switched it out with his team's purple ball.
"Corporal Dampypants! You're out!"
"How did this happen?" Brick asked. Then he saw that Dave had knocked away the brown ball by throwing a yellow ball at it, as he was still doing that. "Ooh, clever."
In the bleachers, Duncan joined an impromptu meeting of the Guy's Alliance. "I HATE this!" Duncan griped. "All the best athletes are on the other teams!"
"Ahem."
"No offense to you Ryan, it's just...you're big, okay? And big means easy target."
"Fair enough. I don't see us winning this either. Who should we vote for?"
"Izzy seems like she'd hurt us all given the chance," Devin replied. "She also has supernatural stamina, so she's going to last a while in physical challenges."
"Crazy Legs! You're out!"
"Or not."
"No," Alejandro said finally. "We vote for Noah. He's smarter than all of us combined, making him a prime mental threat."
"I don't know," Brady said. "He's alright if you get to know him, he's just...prickly."
"He didn't want to help us," Alejandro reminded him. "You are an athlete yourself, Brady. Don't you feel just a little insulted?"
Brady pondered this.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"The real reason is far more personal than that," Alejandro said bitterly. "Noah knows of my true diabolical nature. Not too many do, but of them only Noah is a real threat to me. No one of my class listens too much to the seniors, and Bridgette's social network is too small to make much of an impact. And rather than expose me, Heather has decided to try and one-up me, as she is no angel herself. Ah, I love that woman when she's not trying to kill me," he said wistfully. Then he got an angry look on his face. "But given the chance, Noah would quickly and easily undo all that I've worked for. I want to stop him before he can do that. He needs to go NOW."
Eventually, only Zeke, Mary, and Ellody remained.
"Please don't hurt me," Zeke whimpered.
"Don't worry, I'm throwing this in a way so it won't," Mary said. She threw it gently, and it lightly grazed Zeke's foot.
"Okay then! North wins Round One!" Chris announced. North cheered while Mary and Ellody fist-bumped. "Let's see the scoreboard!"
North: 4
East: 2
South: 1
West: 3
"Not too shabby. East! Two of you are leaving forever, and in their place, Noah and Dakota shall rise! Who will go South?"
"I'll go to South, Chris!" Topher volunteered.
"Uh, me too," Mickey said nervously.
"Alrighty then! Please remove your jerseys and give them to the floaters, please."
"Win it for the Misfits, Noah," Mickey whispered as he gave Noah his blue jersey.
"No way am I wearing that dirty thing," Dakota said. "Especially off a guy."
"It's actually really comfortable, you'd like it," Topher replied.
Confessional – Dakota.
"Well whaddya know, he was right."
North: Cody, Sierra, Eva, MacArthur, Jo, Trent, Sammy, Amy, Jen, Katie, Sadie, Dave, Shawn, Jasmine T., Sam, Harold, Ellody, Beardo, and Mary.
South: Mike, Courtney, Dawn, Emma, Max, Tyler, Ella, Sugar, Kitty, Crimson, Brody, Taylor, Junior, Jacques, Josee, Jay, Lorenzo, Anne Maria, and DJ.
East: Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Devin, Duncan, Heather, Scott, Scarlett, Izzy, Noah, Laurie, Miles, Lightning, Justin, Dakota, Ennui, Cameron, Leshawna, and Zoey.
West: Owen, Gwen, Beth, Geoff, Carrie, Sky, Brick, Phil, Rock, Stephanie, Tom, Lauren, Zeke, Lindsay, Bridgette, Rodney, Sanders, B, and Jasmine O.
Floaters: Topher, Mickey (to South)
"Begin Round Two."
"You okay, Mike?" Junior asked amidst the fray. The other teams had decided to focus on each other first, allowing South to look at Mike, who was shuddering violently. In the background, Noah attempted to run away from a very predatory-looking Amy.
Mike was barely keeping himself together. "I-I'm fine, it's just–"
Suddenly, two yellow balls rocketed into the South Team from afar, thrown by Sky and Beth from West. Mike's head dropped downward, and without looking caught both balls midair. He looked up, and his face began to change. His skin seemed to get smoother, his eyelashes seemed to extend in a way normally only makeup could induce, and his lips swelled up and turned red, as though he were wearing lipstick.
"I officially declare this Svetlana Time!" Mike, in an unusually feminine and Russian-accented voice, declared. S/he quickly fired the balls back, before throwing the six yellow balls given to South at the beginning. The balls flew threw the air and quickly decimated North and East. S/he then picked up the team's green ball, and threw it at the wall. It bounced off the wall and smacked, in quick succession, the rest of East, before catching the green ball in his/her hand.
Svetlana gasped, and Mike returned to normal. "Oh crap! No no no no!" He stared at his teammates sheepishly. "Um, I can explain. I'm an actor, and–"
"Mike, everyone knows about the whole MPD thing," Courtney said flatly.
"Oh...right."
"MPD?" Kitty asked.
"Multiple Personality Disorder. People with it have to share their minds with alternate personalities. It usually comes from abusive childhoods," Harold explained.
"Oh...poor Mike, then."
"Well, Svetlana really helped us take out our competition," Courtney said. "We could use her more often."
"I-I don't know..." Mike said, worried.
"Mike, listen to me." Everyone turned to look at Dawn. "I know you're trying to keep your personalities under control, and I understand and respect that. If Mal was really as evil as you say he was, no one in their right mind would want a repeat of that. But your alternates are a part of you regardless, and if they think they can help others, you should allow them to do so."
"Huh, so it CAN think," Josee remarked. Tyler and Emma glared at her. "What?"
"Okay...but Svetlana says she wants you guys to have a chance," Mike said finally.
"Wise," Jacques said, cracking his knuckles, before picking up a yellow ball and throwing it at Sanders, knocking her out when her head hit the floor.
"Good Cop! You're out!"
"So who should we vote for?" Scott asked Heather. The entire East Team had been knocked out of the round.
"I overheard Alejandro talking about voting off Noah," she replied, "so we go after the other OG floater: Dakota."
"You sure?"
"Of course. Noah, despite being utterly afraid of dodgeball for no [f word]ing reason, is at least trying to keep us in the game by not getting hit. Dakota isn't even doing that."
Indeed, throughout the game Dakota hadn't made any effort to avoid getting hit. Scott weighed his options before finally saying "Good call."
Confessional – Heather.
"That, and she's in Taylor's clique, so the fewer allies Taylor has, the better for me."
"South wins Round Two!" Chris announced. South, with the Ice Dancers still standing, cheered. "Let's see the scoreboard!"
North: 6
East: 3
South: 5
West: 6
"West and North are tied, but will that change? Let's hope so. South! Two of you will have to go West after floating Round Three!"
"According to the auras around me, I think I and Brody should go," Dawn said.
"Why me?" Brody asked. Dawn pointed to Geoff and Bridgette, who waved to Brody. "Oh, I got you!"
"Aura reading. Pfft. What a load of malarky," Scott dismissed. Dawn looked hurt at this.
Confessional – Sam.
"According to Dawn's official medical diagnosis, she actually has a form of synesthesia that combines emotional perception with color. She's also REALLY good at discerning emotions and can easily figure out what's on someone's mind," Sam explained. "She's basically a living lie detector. Oh, and if you're wondering how I know this, my dad's the doctor who diagnosed her."
North: Cody, Sierra, Eva, MacArthur, Jo, Trent, Sammy, Amy, Jen, Katie, Sadie, Dave, Shawn, Jasmine T., Sam, Harold, Ellody, Beardo, and Mary.
South: Mike, Courtney, Mickey, Emma, Max, Tyler, Ella, Sugar, Kitty, Crimson, Topher, Taylor, Junior, Jacques, Josee, Jay, Harold, Anne Maria, and DJ.
East: Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Devin, Duncan, Heather, Scott, Scarlett, Izzy, Noah, Laurie, Miles, Lightning, Justin, Dakota, Ennui, Cameron, Leshawna, and Zoey.
West: Owen, Gwen, Beth, Geoff, Carrie, Sky, Brick, Phil, Rock, Stephanie, Tom, Lauren, Zeke, Lindsay, Bridgette, Rodney, Lorenzo, Sanders, B, and Jasmine O.
Floaters: Brody, Dawn (to West)
"Well, we're almost at the halfway mark," Chris said. "Which team is going to win it big? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris said to the audience. "We're playing Drama Dodgeball, and Mike, I mean Svetlana, is carrying South to victory. But will that last?"
"Begin Round Three."
South continued to dominate the game, this time opting to take out North first. However, Emma was struck out early.
"Uptight! You're out!"
Emma sighed and left for the bleachers. Upon sitting down, she noticed Noah glaring at the game contemptuously. "Y'know, you could at least ENCOURAGE your team to win."
"Yay East, go and dodge those murderballs," Noah said half-heartedly.
"Not like that. Seriously, what's your problem?"
"Not a people person in the least," Noah replied. "Plus this game is kinda freaking me out, so..."
"Well, I don't know, but it wouldn't hurt to be nicer to people. You could be on the chopping block, for all we know."
"Selfie Addict! You're out!"
Emma saw Kitty, with a huge black eye, make her way to the bleachers. Kitty looked like she was about to cry. Emma gasped and rushed away to help her sister, leaving Noah to mull over what Emma had said.
Confessional – Emma.
"I hope I wasn't too harsh," Emma said sternly, "but he does need to straighten up. And now Kitty's hurt! Agh, I hate Chris."
"South wins Round Three!" Chris announced. Everyone else groaned, while the half of South still standing smiled cockily. "Let's see the scoreboard!"
North: 7
East: 5
South: 9
West: 9
"There was a change, for South is now tied with West. But can they break that tie? West! Two of you will have to go North and be our last non-immune floaters!"
"Come over here, buddy!" Geoff said. Brody switched jerseys with Tom, ran over to West, and high-fived his best friend.
"Sanders, I could kinda use a little help over here," MacArthur said.
"Alright, I'll float." Sanders winced as she said that, as her head still hurt from earlier.
North: Cody, Sierra, Eva, MacArthur, Jo, Trent, Sammy, Amy, Jen, Katie, Sadie, Dave, Shawn, Jasmine T., Sam, Harold, Ellody, Beardo, and Mary.
South: Mike, Courtney, Mickey, Emma, Max, Tyler, Ella, Sugar, Kitty, Crimson, Topher, Taylor, Junior, Jacques, Josee, Jay, Lorenzo, Anne Maria, and DJ.
East: Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Devin, Duncan, Heather, Scott, Scarlett, Izzy, Noah, Laurie, Miles, Lightning, Justin, Dakota, Ennui, Cameron, Leshawna, and Zoey.
West: Owen, Gwen, Beth, Geoff, Carrie, Sky, Brick, Phil, Rock, Stephanie, Jen, Lauren, Zeke, Lindsay, Bridgette, Rodney, Brody, B, and Jasmine O.
Floaters: Sanders, Tom (to North)
"Begin Round Four."
"Okay, I think we should take out Mike," Shawn said. "Clearly, Svetlana is allowing South to dominate the game. And if we take him out early, they'll realize that we've wised up, and they won't be able to use that strategy ever again."
"It's a good plan, but I'm confused about your hastiness to say so. Aren't you and Mike friends or something?" Jasmine T. asked.
"We are, but right now Mike's my enemy. You always have to be prepared for the possibility that your friends could easily turn on you. After all, the zombie viruses won't care who they infect."
"Viruses?!" Dave looked worried.
Amy facepalmed. "Oh my gag, I'm surrounded by idiots! Give me a ball and I'll do it!"
"Don't hit him in the head," Eva warned. "That's Mal's trigger, and from what I've heard, Mal is essentially the essence of evil."
"Make me."
Eva flexed her massive biceps. Amy gulped and conceded, throwing a yellow ball at Mike's foot. It connected.
"Jitterbug! You're out!"
"Not so tough without your star athlete, are ya?" Jo taunted.
"Bite me, femme de sanglier!" Josee roared, before firing a yellow ball at Jo. She quickly dodged, then whistled. Because South had accumulated the majority of the yellow balls, they were able to do something extraordinary. Katie and Sadie quickly formed a machine gun-like setup, with Sadie supplying Katie with yellow balls, and eventually the team's purple ball. The wave took out everybody, with the latter ricocheting off the walls of the gym, smacking multiple people in the sides and heads.
One of these was Dakota, who received a ball to her face. "Ow! Hey, stop that! Do you know how long it took to do my makeup this morning?"
"Uh, yeah! I had to take a dump in the woods because you were tying up the bathroom!" Heather snapped.
"Rich Kid! You're out!"
Katie and Sadie's strategy didn't last much longer, for Sadie handed Katie a ball and had picked up another when they realized said balls were blue and green, respectively. Both looked at them, eyes wide.
"Fat Girl! Squealer! You're out!"
"North wins Round Four!" Chris announced. North cheered. "Let's see the scoreboard!"
North: 11
East: 6
South: 12
West: 11
"North and West are now tied, but it's South in the lead now. And poor East is trailing behind as the last team in the single digits. North! Two of you can relax, because you're going to be immune!"
"I'm not doing this anymore. My team is a bunch of dopes," Amy said crossly. "Come on Samey, let's ditch this joint."
"Must I?"
Amy snarled at her younger sister.
"O-okay..."
Confessional – Amy.
"Every time I'm on the losing team, people vote for me! I can't understand why. I mean, Samey's obviously a liability, but me?"
North: Cody, Sierra, Eva, MacArthur, Jo, Trent, Sammy, Amy, Jen, Katie, Sadie, Dave, Shawn, Jasmine T., Sam, Harold, Ellody, Beardo, and Mary.
South: Mike, Courtney, Mickey, Emma, Max, Tyler, Ella, Sugar, Kitty, Crimson, Topher, Taylor, Junior, Jacques, Josee, Jay, Lorenzo, Anne Maria, and DJ.
East: Alejandro, Ryan, Brady, Devin, Duncan, Heather, Scott, Scarlett, Izzy, Noah, Laurie, Miles, Lightning, Justin, Dakota, Ennui, Cameron, Leshawna, and Zoey.
West: Owen, Gwen, Beth, Geoff, Carrie, Sky, Brick, Phil, Rock, Stephanie, Jen, Lauren, Zeke, Lindsay, Bridgette, Rodney, Brody, B, and Jasmine O.
Floaters: Sammy, Amy (automatically immune)
"Begin Round Five."
The final round was chaotic, to put it lightly. Mike, without Svetlana to help his team, was quickly taken out by Ryan. "No hard feelings, little guy," Ryan said gently.
"It's okay," Mike sighed.
"Jitterbug! You're out!"
Heather quickly fired a ball at Gwen, knocking her over. She laughed, only to be knocked over herself by a throw from Taylor. Taylor got hit by Jo, then Jo by Courtney.
"Gothball! You're out! Diva Face! You're out! Brat! You're out! Jock Girl! You're out! A-type Crazy! You're out!"
"How did he even know I was in that band?" Courtney asked.
"I don't know, but he should NOT be allowed to give us those nicknames," Heather growled.
"Finally, we agree on something," Taylor remarked.
Dakota hadn't even bothered throwing a ball at anyone. "How hard could it be? Pick up the ball and throw it at someone!" Duncan hissed.
"I never played sports as a kid," Dakota admitted.
"Girl, dodgeball is so sha-easy. Watch Lightning." Lightning picked up a yellow ball and threw it at B, who was too big to move out of the way fast enough. "See?"
"Silent Boy! You're out!"
"Oh, I think I got it," Dakota said. She finally grabbed a yellow ball and threw it at Cody. It got him in the arm.
"Ow."
"Geek Teeth! You're out!"
"DON'T YOU TOUCH MY CODY!" Sierra screeched, throwing North's purple ball at Dakota's legs. It hit.
"Rich Girl! You're out!"
"Aren't you going to play?" Lightning asked Noah.
"Nah, not big on sports. My siblings' athleticism provided me with more than enough for the next three of my lifetimes."
Lightning's jaw dropped. Noah saw an incoming ball and sidestepped it, letting it hit Lightning in the nose.
"Sports Dork! You're out!"
"North wins Round Five!" Chris announced. "Let's see the scoreboard!"
North: 15
East: 9
South: 14
West: 12
"And with a total score of fifteen points, North wins the game!" North cheered. "In second place, eternal enemy South with fourteen points! You're safe from elimination!" South cheered, albeit with less enthusiasm than North. "In third place, wild West with twelve points! You're safe from elimination!" West shrugged. "East may have been taken out third in the last round, but they're still our losing team with nine points!" East groaned. "East Team, meet me at the campfire at eight, someone's going home!"
Alejandro silently nodded to the rest of his alliance, and then glared at Noah from behind him.
Confessional – Laurie.
"Don't think I didn't forget about what you said in the second challenge," Laurie growled, writing ALEJANDRO on a piece of paper. Then she had a thought. "Is this paper vegan?"
Confessional – Scarlett.
"I'm still sore about what Lightning did last challenge," Scarlett said calmly, writing LIGHTNING on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Leshawna.
"I don't like people who are spoiled," Leshawna said honestly, "and Dakota's almost as spoiled as they come." She wrote DAKOTA on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Devin.
"Alejandro wants me to vote for Noah," Devin said, writing NOAH on a piece of paper. "I mean, he didn't help our team that much, but I do remember Carrie telling me that Noah had this injury of some type once, so maybe Noah was concerned about that acting up. I don't know."
Confessional – Eva.
"Noah actually has a FEAR of dodgeball, and for good reason," Eva clarified. "I was there when The Incident happened. In first grade our class was playing dodgeball when some teenage hoodlum threw a ball at Noah so hard it threw him into a brick wall. Busted all of the ribs on his left side. Noah's never fully recovered from that." She sighed and glared at the camera. "Of course, no one will care."
"Here's how we eliminate people," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." East Team saw a plate of nineteen marshmallows, four of which were colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got for even more drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Ryan, Brady, Devin, Duncan, Heather, Scott, Scarlett, Izzy, Laurie, Miles, Justin, Ennui, Cameron, Leshawna, and Zoey."
Once they all had their marshmallows, Chris pointed to the blue marshmallow. "Blue means you received only one vote against you. Lightning, come here, big guy." Lightning looked distressed, but accepted it regardless.
Then Chris pointed to the green marshmallow. "Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. Alejandro, you have three votes against you."
Alejandro shrugged and got his marshmallow.
Two colored marshmallows were left. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you're gone. Dakota. Noah."
The two looked at him, Dakota not until she was done filing her fingernails.
"Dakota, your self-absorption led to you performing poorly. Noah, you have a ridiculous aversion to sports and weren't able to man up. It's really close, with eight votes against seven. Who got the seven?...
...
...
...
...
"It's Dakota! Noah, you. Are. OUTTA HERE!"
Noah sighed sadly and got up to get the red marshmallow. But Dakota had gotten up at the same time, and as a result, Noah bumped into her and fell on his face. As he tried to pick himself up, he discovered something beneath his hand was too smooth to be naturally-occurring.
Picking it up and brushing off the dirt, he discovered that he was holding an immunity idol.
"WHAT?!" Chris said, his jaw dropping before he could give Dakota the orange marshmallow. "Noah found an immunity idol! Whose name is on it?"
Noah turned it over. "Dakota."
"What? Ergh...well, at least I got to be on TV." Dakota shrugged, picked up the red marshmallow, and ate it. Her eyes bulged out as soon as she'd swallowed. "Bleaugh! This tastes like cough medicine!"
"Yeah, the red ones are supposed to," Chris replied simply. He pressed a button on a remote control he'd had in his shirt pocket and the Chris on the idol's shirt turned gray. He took the idol from Noah, who in exchange got the orange marshmallow, and the team dispersed.
As soon as they were gone, Chris screamed at the sky.
Confessional – Noah.
"I'm pretty sure Chris doesn't like me, and the feeling is mutual," Noah said, before breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm still in. And I guess Emma's right; I need to be more of a team player."
He paused and got an idea. "A Misfit alliance..."
"Seven down. Seventy-seven remain," Chris said as he stood in the gym. "Who will dodge elimination and who won't? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
He turned around, but wasn't looking where he was going, and tripped over a stray ball, landing flat on his face.
"Oops," Chef said sheepishly. "I knew I forgot one."
Votes:
Alejandro – Noah (VOID)
Ryan – Noah (VOID)
Brady – Noah (VOID)
Devin – Noah (VOID)
Duncan – Noah (VOID)
Heather – Dakota (VOID)
Scott – Dakota (VOID)
Scarlett – Lightning (VOID)
Izzy – Dakota (VOID)
Noah – Alejandro (VOID)
Laurie – Alejandro (VOID)
Miles – Alejandro (VOID)
Lightning – Noah (VOID)
Justin – Noah (VOID)
Dakota – Noah (VOID)
Ennui – Dakota (VOID)
Cameron – Dakota (VOID)
Leshawna – Dakota (VOID)
Zoey – Dakota (VOID)
Results: 8-7-3-1 Noah-Dakota-Alejandro-Lightning (VOID)
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii)
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson)
Future eliminations immunized against: Noah (9)
AN: There's now a new set of letters in the votes denoting elimination method. No letters is conventionally voted off, ii is by immunity idol, r is by rigged votes, nj is by injury, nv means there were no votes, and u means the elimination was undone.
Bonus clip:
Chris, now with an ice pack over his face, glared at his interns. "I thought I told you to hide them in less obvious spots!"
"We tried! But there are only so many places on the island to hide them in!" a blonde-haired intern, Billy, gulped.
Chris sighed. Then his expression changed and he suddenly looked happy. "Okay, in two days, ready the planes. We've got to be ready for our first TDFT. Got it?"
His interns nodded. "But where are we going?" a massive African-Canadian man, Joseph, asked.
Chris grinned evilly. "You'll see."