Review time!:
Yeezynight14: Thanks! Chris is one of my least favorite characters, so messing with him is always fun. The alliances are meant to underscore the relationships between the characters. Notice how the Misfit Alliance is the only one willing to branch out thus far.
Anonymous: ...
Concerned Fan: Yeah, it's kinda out of my jurisdiction to ask other writers to change their decisions on where they upload their stories, and I'm still pretty new and obscure, so I'm not going to bother him. Glad you like the concept.
Joel Connell: Thanks! I put a lot of effort into making this story well-written. The idols will be a very important plot device throughout. Special-needs people are underrepresented in fiction (which bothers me a lot because I myself have something akin to Asperger's), and I felt Staci would be a good candidate for Asperger's because she shows a lot of the symptoms in canon. I agree, those are some of the best TD fanfics on the site.
Bonus challenge: spot the Blazing Saddles reference hidden somewhere in this story. Winner gets...something.
Saturday, October 7, 2017
"Last time on Total Drama – our teams became very well-oiled machines! [Bridgette commenting on the absurd amount of grease] Chef's terrible cooking made a lot of grease I didn't want to just throw out. No, I had our contestants run around in it first! [Izzy and Owen playing in the grease] A five-leg obstacle course greeted our campers, and instead of a baton, we used angry grease pigs, with faces only Sugar could love. [Sugar being the only one excited about the challenge] After a few slip-ups, pun not intended, [Tyler getting stuck in his team's tube] the Floating Salmon got to the finish line first. [Jasmine stamping the pig] The Confused Bears were stuck in elimination, and they got out by getting rid of Ellody, who was let off before she became a total yandere or whatever it's called. [Ellody's elimination] The culprits were Heather's Field Alliance [Field Alliance discussing the vote] and Noah and Emma's Misfit Alliance, which practically doubled in size from the previous challenge. [Misfit Alliance agreeing to vote out Ellody]"
Chris walked over to the VR machine. "Today we'll be having our tenth challenge, and you know what that means. That's right, it's another trip into the Total Drama Virtual Reality Generator." He strapped one of the VR helmets on.
A flash of light, and the scene shifted to a desert. Chris, dressed as a stereotypical cowboy, came onscreen. "We're heading to Canada's older, louder, and oftentimes annoying older sibling, the United States, for a challenge sure to rock your boots off. Seventy-five contestants remain. Who will lasso the win and who will turned in for the reward money? Find out in today's episode of
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from some dead bushes, scaring off a lizard. Another came from a cactus, startling an owl. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a coyote in the face. The coyote growled and jumped at the camera, gnawing at it until the camera fizzled out of life.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across a dried-up town. Several made-up people milled about. That is, until a stampede of cattle came in. Duncan was commandeering the steer at the front, a sadistic grin on his face.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
Zeke aimed an arrow carefully at a rabbit and fired it. It hit, and so did the Vegans when they beat up Zeke for hurting an animal.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on a rubber raft. The raft fell into white-water rapids, taking them with it. They screamed as they were tossed about.
*Instrumental*
Justin, Devin, and Brick panted in the sun as they worked on completing a railroad's tracks. Suddenly, they jumped out of the way as an incoming train nearly ran them over. Izzy was driving the train and happily blew the whistle as she shot through, not caring that she'd just gone off the tracks.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Owen took a bite out of a cactus pad, unfortunately forgetting to cut the spines off first. He winced in pain and found his tongue covered in spines. Noah rolled his eyes and pulled out a pair of tweezers from his pants pocket.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Scott was in a cell, groaning in annoyance at having to share his cell with Sugar, who would not shut up. Outside the cell, Alejandro had the keys, and smiled deviously at the camera.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Tyler rode a bucking bronco in an attempt to impress Lindsay. Needless to say, it ended with him getting thrown into a rock.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Cody rocked out on a piano inside a saloon. He quickly had to leave, though, as Eva and Lightning were having a barfight that destroyed the piano.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Beth opened her canteen to find it was dry. She sighed, and then got hit in the face with a tumbleweed.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Sam was panning for gold when he found something in the water. He picked it up, only to be disappointed when it turned out to be one of Anne Maria's many bottles of cosmetics, which she quickly took back from him.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Ryan and Stephanie moved in for a kiss...and were interrupted by an enthusiastic Brody, who was holding a pot of baked beans. Stephanie shrieked and ran away, leaving Brody confused and Ryan to facepalm.
Floating Salmon
"SAMEY!"
Sammy groaned. "It's too early in the morning, Amy, let me sleep."
"Oh, be lazy, why don't you? That's what happened when we were born. Mom and I had to wait seventeen minutes for you to come out."
"'Ey! No one needed ta know dat," Anne Maria snapped from her bunk on the other side of the room. "An' now ya interrupted mah beauty sleep."
"Well now that we ARE up," Scarlett grumbled from her bunk, "we should probably talk strategy. Today's challenge is going to be in a virtual reality assuming the machine hasn't broken."
"Yeah, that's exactly why I wanted Samey up!" Amy said. "So we can discuss who to boot off. That Rock guy annoys me, so he's out. Right, Samey?"
Sammy sighed. "Right."
Confessional – Sammy.
Sammy sighed. "Last time we had a VR challenge, Amy and I weren't on the same team, so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping we aren't on the same team today either. If we are, then I hope Jasmine's on the same team with me, because she stands up for me a lot." She looked nervous. "I hope I can make some real friends soon. I'm tired of having to be one of Heather's underlings..."
Some time later
"Howdy, y'all!" Chris greeted his contestants in the VR room, dressed as a stereotypical cowboy.
Heather snickered. "Chris, what on earth are you wearing?"
"What does it look like? A clue to your VR world. That's right, today we're doing Westerns!"
"Ya mean we're going to America?" Sugar asked excitedly.
"Uh...I don't recall there being any deserts in Canada, so..."
"Yes, Chris!" Sugar beamed. "I'm from there!"
"So am I, but you don't see me making a big deal out of it," Justin muttered to himself.
"Uh, yeah...good to know," Chris said, still confused by Sugar's outburst. "I don't care. Now, everyone, check your seats for your teams!"
Amy, Rock, Heather, B, Sugar, Jo, Lightning, Izzy, Scarlett, Zeke, Kitty, Jazz, Beardo, Tom, and Harold's paper circles had a red cowboy hat, bandanna, and twin pistols on either side of the "face".
Zoey, Lorenzo, Max, Ennui, Crimson, Alejandro, Jacques, Josee, Mike, Mary, Stephanie, Ryan, Duncan, Gwen, and Topher's had a crossed pair of black whips.
Brick, Eva, Taylor, Dawn, Miles, Laurie, Ella, Devin, Carrie, Sanders, MacArthur, Emma, Geoff, Bridgette, and Trent's had a golden star shape.
Sammy, Cody, Rodney, Beth, Brady, Scott, Lindsay, Owen, Cameron, Mickey, Jay, Junior, Leshawna, Tyler, and Sam's had a green Saguaro cactus.
And Noah, Dave, Sierra, Jen, Shawn, Jasmine, Sky, Brody, Katie, Sadie, Anne Maria, Lauren, Courtney, Justin, and DJ's had an orange feather.
"If you got a red circle, you are the Johnsons. If you got a black circle, you are the Williams," Chris explained. "These are two rival gangs of outlaws who want control over the peaceful town of Fort Chris, Oklahoma. Your job is to drive out everyone else, by any means necessary. Yes, you can kill your competitors. No, you won't be seeing the aftermaths of that."
Duncan grinned maliciously at the first bit, but was disappointed on hearing the second.
"If you got a gold circle, you are the Deputies. Your job is to find the Sheriff, who will be played by one of my interns [Billy waved to the campers] and train under him so you can save your town. If you got a green circle, you are the Civilians. Your job is simple: don't die, and don't cross the city lines, which shall be marked by a blue stripe outside the town. The Sheriffs and Civilians spawn in the city, and if they cross the city lines, they're automatically eliminated. The gangs will either spawn inside the city or outside the city and move in, but once they cross the city lines they can't leave. Our last group, however, can enter and exit Fort Chris as much as they please.
"If you got an orange circle, you are the Tribe. Fort Chris was built on your stolen ancestral lands, and you want them back. Your job is to drive everyone else out of Fort Chris. Like Drama Dodgeball, this is a last-man-standing competition, so the team with the most members left at the end of this is the winner, and the team who loses all its members first votes someone out.
"I'm going to come in as the Mayor of Fort Chris to check in every now and then. Best of luck, you're gonna need it."
Another intern (not Billy) pressed a button once everyone had their helmets strapped on, and footage of a dried, dusty village appeared on the canvas screen...
Johnsons: Amy, Rock, Heather, B, Sugar, Jo, Lightning, Izzy, Scarlett, Zeke, Kitty, Jazz, Beardo, Tom, and Harold.
Williams: Zoey, Lorenzo, Max, Ennui, Crimson, Alejandro, Jacques, Josee, Mike, Mary, Stephanie, Ryan, Duncan, Gwen, and Topher.
Deputies: Brick, Eva, Taylor, Dawn, Miles, Laurie, Ella, Devin, Carrie, Sanders, MacArthur, Emma, Geoff, Bridgette, and Trent.
Civilians: Sammy, Cody, Rodney, Beth, Brady, Scott, Lindsay, Owen, Cameron, Mickey, Jay, Junior, Leshawna, Tyler, and Sam.
Tribe: Noah, Dave, Sierra, Jen, Shawn, Jasmine, Sky, Brody, Katie, Sadie, Anne Maria, Lauren, Courtney, Justin, and DJ.
Deputies
"Wow!" Brick gushed at his outfit. His team had spawned in an old, abandoned stable. "I'm a real law enforcer now! Watch out, crime, 'cuz Brick McArthur is here to save the day!"
"We're not heroes until we find the sheriff," Trent reminded him. "But I gotta admit, these new outfits are pretty sweet."
"Where the heck did we spawn?" Miles asked. "And–" she looked down and saw her boots. "OH EARTH MOTHER! I'm wearing LEATHER!"
"Suck it up," Eva grunted. "It's 1870-something or somewhere around then. Plastic doesn't exist yet, so you'll have to learn to make do. And besides, this is a virtual world. No real cows actually died."
"But the virtual cows!"
"Must...not...deck..." Eva chanted to herself.
"It's actually not as bad as I'd thought it'd be, babes," Laurie said. "We can make it up to the Earth Mother later. Right now we need to find the sheriff."
Miles sighed. "Alright, does anyone have an idea?"
"A lot of times in Westerns, the sheriff's building is like, one of the nicer ones," Geoff reasoned. "And there's like, iron bars for like, criminals. So if we find that, we'll find the sheriff."
Williams
Unfortunately, the Williams had found the sheriff's office first, as they'd spawned right outside it.
"Al! Where are you?" Topher asked. Alejandro was missing.
"DON'T CALL ME AL!"
"Found him," Topher said nonchalantly. Alejandro, who was dressed as though he was the gang's leader, had spawned inside a cell in the sheriff's office.
"Are you okay?" Gwen asked.
"Doing fine. Can someone get me out of this place?"
"We could send someone in to distract the sheriff, get his keys, and free Alejandro that way," Mike suggested.
"Not enough," Max said. "We're a gang. We need to act like it. Someone go in there and intimidate the sheriff. If you can hurt him, do it. I believe Duncan would be best for this."
"With pleasure," Duncan said, pulling out one of his knives.
Confessional – Duncan.
"I thought Max was just this lame little gremlin, but he's actually pretty cool," Duncan said, smiling. The confessionals were held in front of the remains of a campfire. "Plus, he's smart. Maybe we should bring HIM into the alliance...nah, he's not cool enough for that, plus his girlfriend wouldn't approve of it...or maybe she would, I dunno, she seemed pretty evil during the mannequin challenge."
Tribe
"REAL funny, Chris," Noah muttered. "Have the Indian guy dress up like the other kind of Indian." His team were dressed like stereotypical Indigenous Americans.
"This does feel a little...racist," Katie admitted.
"Guys, we need to focus," Jasmine said. "Our first order of business is planning our attack and getting our supplies together. We might be here for many virtual days. I think I should go forage, because I'm an expert at this sort of thing."
"Seriously?" Jasmine turned to see an irate Shawn. "I've been preparing myself for the zombie apocalypse since I was four. I know every edible plant and animal in every biome. If anyone's finding food for our tribe, it's me."
"Oh my god, both of you can go!" Courtney snapped. "Happy?"
Shawn shrugged. "I'll take it. If you can keep up," he added in Jasmine's direction.
The Survivalist snorted. "You're on."
Civilians
"Hey, this is just like the farm back home!" Beth exclaimed. She was dressed as a farmhand. "Wait, where is everyone?" In the immediate vicinity, only Brady, Rodney, Cody, and Sammy had spawned in the same ranch.
"Maybe they're somewhere else," Cody suggested. "It doesn't really matter as long as we don't cross the border. Really, it's the only thing we're supposed to do. Right?"
"Hey, that girl looks cute," Rodney said, eying one of the virtually-generated women. Her husband then came up to her and they left together. "Aw man, even in make-believe I'm still single."
"There a reason you're doing this?" Brady asked, stepping a little closer to Beth.
Rodney sighed. "I've never been good with girls. The only one I really ever talked to was Momma, and she left my family when I was a youngun'. I mean, I follow the code and all, but it's sometimes hard to know who's...available."
"Code?" Sammy asked Beth.
"The unspoken Code of Couples at school," Beth explained. "Don't go after anyone who's single, not interested, of incompatible orientation, or being pursued by someone else."
"Ohhh!" Sammy realized. "So that's why the only guy I see pining for Lindsay is Tyler!"
"Hey, I can help you, big guy," Cody offered. "I don't want to brag, but I am pretty slick. Let the Codemeister teach you everything he knows."
Rodney perked up. "You would? Aw, thanks!"
Confessional – Brady.
"Well, he respects couples, so there's that," Brady said. "Maybe I judged Rodney too quickly. I'll have to wait so I can find out more about that guy."
Confessional – Cody.
"Rodney turned out to be alright," Cody said. "He's calm, humble, and very receptive. But what amazes me more is that for once, Sierra and I aren't on the same team. Why is that?"
Confessional – Chris.
"I was going to," Chris, dressed as the mayor, revealed, "but then Chef told me: what if I separated them? Then Sierra would do all sorts of things to get back with him, and those kinds of hijinks always make for good ratings."
Johnsons
"Whoa! Dude, I look awesome!" Rock exclaimed, admiring his gangster outfit. His team had spawned outside of Fort Chris, on a ledge overlooking the small town.
"Even though it's not particularly accurate for this time period, I must admit this attire is quite to my liking," Scarlett agreed.
"Okay, everyone, listen up!" Heather, who was dressed as their leader, called. Her team gathered around her. "We need to figure out a plan. Strategy is going to be key if we want to win. I think we should target the Tribe first, since they're the only ones who can go outside the town without being eliminated."
"But we're already outside the town!" Sugar pointed out.
"We can go in, but once we're in we can't go out," Harold corrected her. "Gosh, did you not pay attention to Chris?"
"Stuff it, Harold, but you're right," Heather said. "What we need to do is send one of us to draw them out. Once they're in range, we'll–"
"Head 'em off at the pass?"
Heather picked up a piece of the ledge and dropped it on Rock's foot. "Never say that again!"
Confessional – Rock.
"Ow...wait, I just realized that Heather dropped a rock on Rock," the teen realized. "Wow. Mind blown." He made an exploding sound effect with his mouth.
In a saloon somewhere, Chef had spawned as a bartender, and Chris was there too.
"Well, everything seems to be going according to plan," Chris said. "Will the deputies find their sheriff? Find out after these messages."
"Can I drink this?" Scott, who'd also spawned in the bar, asked as he eyed a bottle of whiskey.
"You're under eighteen, and we need you to not offend our American viewers, so no."
"Aw..."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris said to the viewers. "While the commercials were running, the Williams broke out gang leader Alejandro out of prison, and the commotion brought the Deputies to where they were heading. Let's see what's going on."
Sheriff's Office
It was, needless to say, an obligatory shootout. The Deputies had found the Williams beating up the sheriff (who was really just Billy wearing a hat and a fake beard) and had come to the aid of their soon-to-be mentor.
"We'll be back!" Topher promised before his team ran off to their secret hiding place.
Trent helped Billy up. "You alright, Sheriff?" The intern had numerous cuts on his face, and his fake beard was peeling off.
"I've seen better days," Billy replied wearily. "Frankly I'm just glad this is all virtual. Since I'm playing the sheriff and you saved my life, I guess my character is supposed to train you in return."
"Don't worry, brah! We'll avenge your beard!" Geoff declared. Behind him, Taylor facepalmed.
Cue montage music.
Williams
Alejandro laid out a piece of tattered paper on a table. On it was a diagram of Fort Chris. "Okay," Alejandro said, before proceeding to point at various spots on the map, "the bank is here, the mayor's mansion is over here, and our secret cache of extra weapons is over here. Tomorrow we strike, and by the time the Johnsons show up there'll be nothing left. Then we just pick everyone else off. Sound fair?"
"Yeah, I think that's reasonable," Lorenzo commented.
After the team dispersed, Alejandro beckoned Ryan and Duncan to come over. "I recently learned that Ellody is part of an alliance, and I will give you three guesses as to who's in it," he said.
"The Geeks?" Ryan asked.
"Precisely. I believe we should weaken their alliance further by voting out Mary. After all, she is one of the biggest mental threats on our team. Plus, this is a physical challenge, so she won't do as well as she would in a mental one."
"Giving the other people a reason to vote for her," Duncan finished. "I like it."
Civilians
"Need...water..." Owen panted. He slowed down as he walked down the road, before collapsing.
"Oh no! We need to help Orson!" Lindsay said nervously.
"Move aside, girl. I got this," Leshawna said. In this universe, she was very muscular, and was easily able to lift the Friendly Food Lover over her shoulders.
"Wow Lequisha, you're super strong," Lindsay noted.
"Yeah, I think my character is s'posed to be a thug or somethin'. We need to get Owen inside before it's too late."
Suddenly, Owen dissipated in a flash of blue light.
"Seriously?" Leshawna griped. "We can die of dehydration in this game?"
Josee, who was hiding behind a barrel, overheard this, and got an evil idea.
Tribe
Shawn lifted a rock and found a hole in the ground. He poked a stick through it and came up with some grubs. "Not the easiest meal on the eyes, but it's a good source of protein," he mused.
That's when the ground squirrel also occupying the hole decided to leap out and attack him. Shawn screamed as he tried to get the rodent off his face. Eventually, Jasmine found him and quickly snatched the squirrel off his face. The squirrel looked at her glaring face and gulped.
Johnsons
Heather drew in the sandy soil with a sharpened stick. "Okay, tonight I want Zeke, Kitty, Sugar, Tom, and Beardo to go after the Tribe. Beardo, use your vocal talents to mask their sounds with the ambience of this environment."
"Can do," he replied.
"The rest of you, once you're in range, take out as many of them as you can. If we can wipe them out, or at the very least weaken them, they'll have a higher chance of going out before us."
"And if they fight back?" Scarlett asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course they'll fight back. But we've got more advanced weapons than they do."
They didn't notice that Lauren was spying on them the whole time.
Deputies
"Aim at the target and fire," Billy instructed. Emma, holding a comically oversized rifle, stood in front of a wooden post with a paper target tacked onto it. "Picture it as your opponent's weak point. Aim for the middle, that's where the heart will be."
"I thought it was on the left," Devin said.
"It's actually in the middle. The left is where your aorta is." Everyone looked at the intern, confused as to how he knew that. "Look, I'm trying to keep the bloodshed to a minimum, okay? Getting shot in the lungs means it takes a while to bleed to death. One shot to the heart, and your opponent is done, y'know?"
Emma narrowed her eyes and shot at the target. It hit, but because of her small stature the force of the gun firing knocked her on her back.
Billy sighed. "We've got a long way to go."
End montage music.
Tribe
Under the starlit sky, the Tribe ate a hearty dinner, made of native wildlife foraged by Jasmine and Shawn. Cactus pads and fruits, tumbleweeds, grubs, roadrunner eggs, even the ground squirrel that had attacked Shawn earlier.
"I gotta say," Justin contended as he chewed on one of the cactus pads, which had been baked to perfection, "these aren't half-bad. DJ, you are the king of cooking."
"You really think so?" DJ asked.
"Yeah, bro, this stuff is awesome!" Brody complimented. "Now if we only had some baked beans to go with this..."
"Um...guys?" Lauren asked timidly as she approached her team.
"You're back," Courtney said. "What did you find out?"
"The Johnsons...they're coming after us tonight. We need to be ready."
"Don't worry," Noah said, waving his hand. "I've already got a plan." He pointed to a drawing in the ground he'd made earlier.
Lauren studied it. "You sure this will work?"
"Of course I am."
Later that night
Beardo carefully made some cricket noises as Tom, Sugar, Zeke, and Kitty snuck into the Tribe's campsite. Fifteen sleeping bags were spaced around the fire and bulged with mysterious shapes.
Sugar chuckled to herself. "This is too easy." She cocked her pistol at one of the sleeping bags.
"A little too easy, eh," Zeke murmured. "These folks'd never leave themselves out in the oopen, all asleep-like."
"Yeah, you're right," Kitty said. "This could be a trap. No, scratch that, I'm pretty sure it's one."
"Well, then we should head back, then," Tom said.
"What? You kiddin' me? I ain't goin' back till I kill at least one of these no-good injuns," Sugar snapped.
Confessional – Tom.
Tom shook his head in disgust. "Sugar represents the worst of the United States. I know for a fact that many of us are NOT that racist. If we lose today, I'm voting her out."
Sugar fired at the sleeping bag, and it made a sickening squelch. She whooped in delight, then noticed a piece of cactus had come out. The five gang members looked and discovered that instead of a person, Sugar had shot a tall cactus that had been roughly shoved into the sleeping bag.
"What in tarnation?" Sugar asked, scratching her head.
It was at that exact moment that something heavy cracked against the back of her neck, causing her to dissolve in a flash of blue light. Courtney was revealed, smacking a wooden post into her open palm.
"It's a trap!" Kitty screeched. She tried to get away, but ended up bumping into something warm. Sadie lowered her gaze to eye the Cell Phone Addict, before quickly swatting her over and stepping on her back, cracking her ribs and ejecting Kitty from the game. Zeke valiantly fired off arrows from a quiver he'd spawned with, but Courtney easily struck him down with her post, before taking out Tom as well. Beardo attempted to sneak away in the middle of the chaos, and was quickly turned into a flash of blue with a rock to the forehead courtesy of Justin.
"Who says models aren't afraid to get dirty?" Justin asked the camera.
The next morning
Civilians
Sam yawned, opening his eyes. He got out of bed, scratched his rear, and made his way to the bathroom sink to wash his face. He turned on the tap, but to his surprise nothing came out.
"This is not good."
Williams
"You cut off their water supply," Alejandro said slowly.
"Oui. It was simple, really. I just had to plug up the pump," Josee said simply.
"I do not recall telling you to do that. We can die of heatstroke here, you know. I recently learned Owen was ejected that way."
"That's how I got the idea, you twit," Josee growled, drawing level with him. She didn't want to have to deal with him. She was more popular at school, why did she have to answer to Alejandro here?
They were interrupted by Stephanie. "Guys, we got a problem."
"What is it?"
"I think it'd be better if you came and saw..."
Alejandro stood. "We will continue this talk later," he growled at Josee, who simply scoffed. Alejandro marched to the door and opened it, revealing the Johnsons, with Heather aiming her gun at Alejandro's forehead.
"Well, if it isn't my handsome jerk," Heather chuckled darkly. "Ready to lose, Alejandro? Or are you going to die trying to win the unwinnable?"
"I have nothing to fear," Alejandro countered, pushing her gun away from his face. "My team outnumbers yours three to two."
"Yeah, I think the Tribe got them," Harold said off to the side.
"Told you we should've sent me!" Jo added indignantly in Heather's direction.
Heather rolled her eyes and refocused her gaze back to Alejandro. "You and I both know who's going to win this," she said.
"Yes. Me!" Alejandro pulled out his own gun and shot Jazz square in the chest, ejecting her from the game. He whistled and the rest of his gang came out of the secret hideout. A mass shootout began to emerge...
Deputies
"What was that?" Carrie asked.
"That's gunfire if I ever heard it," MacArthur replied curtly. "C'mon everyone! Let's move! The sooner we stop the gangs from trashing the place, the better!"
"Dude, you think we're ready?" Geoff asked Billy.
Billy, freaking out from the gunfire, tore off his fake beard entirely and shrieked, "Yes! Now go!"
As they ran off to the scene of the fight, Devin decided to ask his best friend something. "Carrie? I was just wondering...I don't want to kill any of the Civillians, but we're supposed to beat them...what do we do?"
"I don't know. I don't want it to end up with us letting the gangs kill them," Carrie shuddered.
"Maybe we trick them into moving outside the border?" Devin gasped and smiled. "That's it!"
"Yeah, I think that'll work!" Carrie complimented. "But for now let's just focus on the gangs, 'kay?"
"Right, right."
Confessional – Devin.
"I came up with that all by myself! Without the Ice Dancers telling me to!" Devin grinned triumphantly. "This is a proud moment for me."
Max approached Scarlett. "You're disarmed," he noted.
"It appears so. And you have a gun."
"Yes, and I intend to win this for my team. No hard feelings?"
"None at all."
Then Max fired.
Having witnessed this display, all Topher could squeak was "...Why?"
"Purely strategic," Max dismissed him. "Besides, it's good practice for me should Scarlett pass on prematurely." He waited a few moments, then broke into tears. Fortunately, he was returned to the real world by Eva on the Rifle Express.
"Alright, everyone, listen up," Taylor spoke. "We're the law enforcement here, so what we say goes. Put your hands up in the air, and leave Fort Chris forever."
"Ma'am, with all due respect, I don't think that'll work," Brick piped up.
Taylor bopped him over the head with her gun. "No one cares!"
Heather smirked. "I've always wanted to do this," she said, pulling out her gun and shooting Taylor where she thought her heart was. But of course, it was too far left, and Taylor, bleeding virtual blood, still had the strength to shoot Heather's chest dead center. Then both were ejected.
"Ohhh, that's why you don't shoot at the left," Bridgette commented. To the gangs, she said, "I'm not normally one for violence, but I think I can manage it for one day. What do you say, guys?"
Geoff grinned. "I think we're gonna win."
In the ensuing melee, even the Civilians got involved. Cody and Sammy were approached by Duncan, wielding two switchblades expertly. Duncan snarled, but Cody quickly decked him with a powerful right hook, while Sammy snatched one of the knives as it fell and drove it into Duncan's throat, ejecting him.
"Wow, we make a really good team," Cody noted.
"Yeah, we do," Sammy added.
"CODY!" Sierra screamed with joy as she suddenly invaded the ranch. She snatched him and ran to the county line. Predictably, as soon as she crossed it, Cody disappeared.
Amy growled at Tyler before driving her right foot into his crotch, and not in a good way. Tyler crumpled to the ground, holding his kiwis.
"That wasn't nice!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Andy, I thought we didn't do that!"
"YOU don't do that, but I don't care," Amy said nonchalantly. She pulled out a lit stick of dynamite from nowhere and threw it at the ground. It blew the Klutzy Jock and the Scatterbrained Princess into the air and out to the edge of Fort Chris.
Tyler landed on his feet, and then caught his crush. "Tyson! You saved me!"
"It was nothing," Tyler chuckled.
Then they noticed her hair and his hand were over the line, and both were ejected.
Confessional – Tyler and Lindsay.
"Seriously?!" Tyler, back in the real world with a grimacing Lindsay on his lap, asked the camera irately. "THAT got us thrown out?!"
"It should've been ALL of us over the line!" Lindsay snapped. "Why didn't Carl tell us that?"
"I don't know, but you're right. It's not fair that he doesn't tell us everything about the rules."
A pause.
"I really like ranting about stuff with you," Lindsay realized. "What about you?"
Tyler felt like he'd won the lottery, but he played it cool and said, "Me too. Guess we should do this more often."
Rock was approached by Jacques. "Going somewhere?"
"Uh, yeah dude! I'm going over there with my team! Oh, you should've seen Amy, she got some dynamite and it was all like, ka-BOOM!" Rock babbled.
"Rock, you twit! You just gave them an idea!" Amy snapped.
"I wanted to do the dynamite thing," Izzy frowned. "Not to us, I mean, but you know what I mean."
Jacques pulled out a stick of dynamite and threw it at the Williams, blowing them all up when it hit the ground.
Unfortunately, he was the last of his team still standing, and Leshawna punched him in the back of the head, hard enough to eject him from the game.
"We've won this, for the everyman!" she crowed.
Suddenly, a man dressed as the mayor appeared. "Hey everyone! The governor just expanded our territory! And good thing too, there's a lotta gold in them thar hills!"
"GOLD?!" asked every NPC townsperson. Soon they began racing out of Fort Chris, forcing the Civilians and Deputies to keep up.
Then the mayor took off his hat, revealing Shawn had dressed up as Chris to trick them. "Okay guys, that's a wrap! Time to clear this place out!"
The rest of the Tribe appeared and began to destroy the town, wiping it of any trace of Manifest Destiny.
"Hey, where'd my other suit go?" Chris asked himself as he stared at the closet.
As soon as they reached the desert, all of the Civilians and Deputies disappeared. Courtney used her foot to kick aside some of the sand, revealing they'd covered the county line to make it seem like Fort Chris had expanded.
Suddenly, she erupted into a flash of light...
Back in the real world, Chris greeted the contestants. "Although I'm a little miffed that they stole my clothes, the Tribe's knowledge of the outside world won them the challenge!" The Tribe cheered. "Their prize? A trip to a rodeo show at a ranch in Alberta, with all the baked beans and pork you can eat!
"And the other teams. Civilians, Deputies, you did a good job not dying. Williams, you won the gang war, you're also safe. Your prize? Beef jerky and prickly pear juice to wash it down.
"Johnsons, you all died first, so you lose. Meet me at the campfire at eight, Johnsons, someone's going to hightail it tonight!"
"YES!" Brody exclaimed, punching the air. "A dude ranch! Oh, that'll be awesome!"
"Hey, bring some baked beans for me too, dude," Geoff said.
"Sure, why not?"
"I'd like some too," MacArthur added. "Anything that's not Mr. Crazy's horrible glop."
"Say what?" Chef asked, looking up at that moment.
Brody stuttered at the thought of his crush wanting something from him, before Bridgette cut in and said, "He'd be happy to."
Off to the side, Stephanie remarked to Ryan, "Glad I'm not doing that."
"I guess you would. Why do you hate beans so much, anyway?"
"They're just so...mushy," she shuddered.
"Don't worry Cody, I'll be back in three days," Sierra said softly, before leaving to pack up her things.
As soon as she was gone, Cody breathed a sigh of relief. "No Sierra for three days...now I can work on that videogame without any major interruptions."
Scarlett held Max, who was still crying a little, close to her. "It wasn't real," she whispered to him.
"I know, but..."
"Don't worry. You and I both know that only one of us can win the money. And you know I wouldn't let myself die unless I knew it was the right thing. I was taking a risk for my team so another could have the chance."
"You...threw the challenge?"
"Not exactly, but if it means getting people who would cheat people like us out of their fair share out of the competition, I'll do what I have to."
"Level the playing field," Max realized. "I'm not as sad anymore. Go get 'em, Scarlett. If I suggest, go for Sugar. She's becoming a real thorn in everyone's backsides."
"Consider it done."
Confessional – Zeke.
"Sugar goot me killed before I could help us win," Zeke said, writing SUGAR on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Jazz.
"Sorry buddy, but I can't trust you to not be a liability," Jazz apologized, writing ROCK on a piece of paper.
Confessional – B.
B said nothing, simply writing SUGAR on a piece of paper and grimacing at the camera.
Confessional – Izzy.
"Bye-bye, not-Sugar!" Izzy cackled as she wrote SUGAR on a piece of paper.
"Okay, dogies, here's how we conduct our eliminations in these parts," Chris said.
"Can you stop the cowboy talk? The challenge is over," Heather said bluntly.
"Okay, fine!" Chris took his hat off. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Fifteen marshmallows, four of which were colored, adorned the plate. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got so we can wrestle up some drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Amy, B, Jo, Lightning, Izzy, Scarlett, Zeke, Kitty, Jazz, Beardo, and Tom."
Once they all had their marshmallows, Chris pointed to the two blue marshmallows. "Blue means you received only one vote against you. Harold and Heather, I believe these belong to you."
"Hopefully NOT for mocking your stupid hat," Heather remarked as she carried her marshmallow back to her seat.
"Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. But today, we have none of them." Two colored marshmallows were left. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you're gone. Sugar. Rock."
The two looked at him, Sugar somewhat cockily.
"Again, weird names. Again, Sugar, your teammates think you're annoying. Rock, you inadvertently killed half your team. It's another close one, seven against six...
...
...
...
...
"Sugar lives to compete another day!"
"Are you [f word]ing KIDDING ME?!" Amy shrieked.
"Be glad none of us voted for YOU," Jo said darkly.
Rock shrugged and got his marshmallow. "Well guys, it was nice playing with you all. I hope to see which one of you gets the million bucks!"
"Bye Rock!" Kitty waved, while Beardo did an impromptu guitar solo with his mouth to provide exit music.
Chris stood at the VR machine. "Well, looks like the VR generator hates musicians. Ten down. Seventy-four remain. Who's going to lasso the win and who's going to take the wagon train off the island? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
To Billy, who was sitting there traumatized from the experience, he said, "GET BACK TO WORK! I don't pay you for sitting around."
"You don't pay me anyway!"
Votes:
Amy – Rock
Rock – Heather
Heather – Rock
B – Sugar
Sugar – Harold
Jo – Rock
Lightning – Rock
Izzy – Sugar
Scarlett – Sugar
Zeke – Sugar
Kitty – Sugar
Jazz – Rock
Beardo – Sugar
Tom – Sugar
Harold – Rock
Results: 7-6-1-1 Rock-Sugar-Heather-Harold
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Owen (Noah)
Future eliminations immunized against: Noah (6)
Bonus clip:
In the virtual world, the NPC residents trudged across the desert sand, when the rest of the Tribe showed up.
The chief looked them over. "Respect us and our ways, and we may be able to help you," he said. "But I know many others look down on our culture and think us uncivilized. Would you like to see how wrong they are?"
"I guess we have no choice," the banker said, nodding in his direction. "We'll join you guys, make our own country. Who needs the US, anyway?"
"Uh...everyone?" a random woman asked.