I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Review time!:
Yeezynight14: Just a reminder that Chris is the true antagonist of the story.
Guest: Dude...dudette...whatever you are...wait your turn.
Guest: I'm fine, just incredibly busy. Working in as many fandoms as I do has that as its biggest downside. You wouldn't BELIEVE how many universes I've had to travel through yesterday alone. Plus, I've had recurring issues with hand pain that are making it hard for me to write.
Joel Connell: Thanks! I think the people who do the recommendations aren't as active as we'd like. I hope it does end up with the greats; it'll certainly be long enough, for I had my staff do the math and this story's estimated final length is about 669,000 words. Yeesh. It's certainly the longest thing I've ever written. And who's to say Cody and Sammy didn't talk to each other? Remember, Chris is the producer and director of the show. He most likely omitted those clips because they didn't fit with his idea of what makes for good ratings.
Codammy Forever: Thanks! Although I will have to remind you that Nemma is still the main pairing of the story.
Great Idea Alert: Thanks! Yeah, I was planning on a Christmas-themed challenge for that time of year. A formal would probably be part of it. Don't worry, Cody's sticking around for quite a while, and I may not even adapt that episode, I'm not sure yet. As for the birthday thing, I'll definitely try to work something out.
AlienGhostWizard14: Thanks!
Important note: there aren't actually going to be separate fanfictions for the "seasons", this thing is long enough already. The seasons are in-universe divisions of the series Total Drama that I use to sort the chapters. Season One is challenges 1-21, Season Two is challenges 22-42, Season Three is challenges 43-63, Season Four is challenges 64-74, and the final nine challenges make up Season Five. Aftermaths occur after every sixth challenge.
Friday, October 13, 2017
"Huh? What?" a drowsy Chris asked, barely awake. An orange-haired intern, Carly, whispered into his ear, and Chris immediately got to his feet. "Oh! We're live!" The clips started rolling as Chris voiced them over. "Last time on Total Drama – we pulled the biggest all-nighter ever! [The passage of time] For fifty hours nonstop did our contestants have to stay awake. And to make it extra-hard, I tired them out beforehand. [Clip of the marathon, cutting to the feast] Now, you'd think this sort of challenge would end up in our two teams voting based on popularity, [previously unseen footage of Cody glaring at Heather without her noticing] but two teens had other ideas. Taking advantage of some recent hysteria, Jacques and Josee [the two of them talking] put together a plan to cut Noah's Misfit Mega-Alliance [Noah and Emma being woken up] down to size. While also embarrassing Josee's nemesis and unpopular in general diva Heather at the same time. [Josee moving Rodney and Heather into position] It worked, but Scott also ended up on the hot seat for his scheming ways. [Footage of Scott rigging the votes in Germany] We ended up with our first tie, after which our first tiebreaker sent Rodney home. [Rodney's elimination] Can't say that I miss him, because I don't."
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Seventy-three contestants remain. Who will strike media gold and who will rust into obscurity? Find out in today's episode of
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a passing Harold in the groin. Duncan and Jacques laughed at him.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the island, passing Chris on a beach chair getting massaged by an intern, Dawn meditating with Zoey, Brady and Beth on a rope swing together, Leonard and Tammy casting "spells" while Ella watched, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Chet and Lorenzo fighting to the disapproval of Ellody and Mary.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the animals. That is, until a mutant gopher showed up. They screamed and ran away. Pan to Scott, Lightning, and Jo, who'd disrupted the session with the gopher. They high-fived.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on a rubber raft. The raft fell off a waterfall, taking them with it. Bridgette, Geoff, and Brody watched.
*Instrumental*
The three girls found Owen underwater. Owen farted, sending the rivals and more than a few dead fish to the surface. Above, Zeke, Mike, and Rodney were fishing in a little boat when the lake became littered with fish and three teenage girls. Zeke grabbed one of the dead fish and triumphantly held it over his head, while Rodney began checking out Taylor's rear.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
At one of the beaches, Katie and Sadie admired Justin. Behind them, Justin's ex Lauren sighed sadly. On the other side of the beach, Izzy, wearing a spider costume, was chasing Cameron, Dakota, and Sam for no apparent reason.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was cooking some disgusting green slop in the cafeteria. Kitty and Junior looked at each other, frightened of what was to come. Behind them sat Tyler, Leshawna, Ryan, both of the Jasmines (looking at each other, very confused), Lindsay, Mickey and Jay, and Shawn. Dave obsessively cleaned the tables, while B looked on.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sierra had Cody in a headlock out of love. Amy had Sammy in one out of hate. Cody and Sammy looked at each other and sighed.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Rock and Spud air-guitared. Courtney and Gwen looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they saw Trent jamming with them. He stopped and smiled sheepishly at the girls.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Carrie and Devin sat together on the dock, watching Tom, Jen, and Anne Maria compare fashion tips. Then the dock gave out under them, sending them into the water. It turned out Alejandro had been responsible. He grinned evilly at the camera.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher cockily smiled at Eva, who decked him in response. Behind them, Scarlett and Max passed through a field of lustblossoms, and suddenly began making out.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and then Sugar interrupted the moment by appearing between them. Angry, Emma started chasing Sugar around the camp to the amusement of the others, while Noah stared apathetically at the camera.
Screaming Gophers
Josee awoke to a properly mad Emma staring at her. She shrieked. "Do you not know the meaning of personal space?!"
"I do, but obviously you don't know the meaning of decency," Emma retorted. "I know what you did to Rodney. I didn't vote for you; I voted for Scott. But I'm going to warn you just once." She inched closer and bared her teeth at Josee, who was for once a little frightened.
"Do. Not. Mess. With. My. Friends."
Confessional – Josee.
Josee rocked back and forth in the fetal position.
Confessional – Kitty.
"After Emma's...incident last summer," Kitty began, "she's gotten really overprotective. I mean, sometimes it's a good thing, like what you saw back there, but lately she's been keeping me from having any fun." She got an irritated look on her face. "I mean, I understand why she's acting this way, but would it kill her to move on already?"
"Y'know, I'm actually a little worried," Devin mentioned to Brady in the mess hall. "It's Friday the 13th today."
"It is? Oh no! I don't want to be eliminated!" Brady exclaimed. "Man, Friday the 13ths are always unlucky!"
"That's not actually true, guys," Gwen said bluntly. "That whole myth started because some guys were trying to disprove superstitions on that day, not prove them. And they lived, so yeah." She sighed. "Although I agree, Chef's cooking seems a little too deliberately bad for today."
"Chris kept him up too late, though," Devin pointed out.
Gwen chewed her lip in thought. "Yeah, you're probably right. Listen, I gotta go check on the new kid Zoey and see how she's doing. See you in the challenge."
She walked by Duncan's table, The Delinquent taking the time to check her out. Thankfully for him, Courtney hadn't gotten up yet.
"Ay! Move yah butt!"
Unfortunately, someone else had, and Duncan groaned as he scooted over to make room for Anne Maria.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"Anne Maria is almost as vain and lazy as Taylor. A better heart, but that won't save her. I agree with Duncan, she is dead weight and needs to leave now." He shook his head. "People like that only get in the way of the good competitors such as myself."
About an hour later, everyone was called to meet at Five-Larch Point, so named because there were five larches growing out of a small hill in the far west of the island.
"So," Chris began, "does anyone want to guess today's challenge?"
"Are we going back to the Climate Hall?" Harold asked.
"Nope!"
"Is it another sports competition? Because the Sha-Lightning is gonna own y'all!" Lightning boasted.
"Stow it, Brightning," Jo grumbled. Lightning glared at her.
"Would we be going back to the theater?" Jazz asked. "I've been itching to do a writing challenge as of late."
"Nah, the next theater challenge's not for a while." Jazz pouted. "Instead, we're going somewhere new. BEHOLD!"
Chris pressed a button on his omnipresent remote, and suddenly the ground underneath their feet began to let out a metallic groan. A massive set of doors rose out of the grass, revealing a dark corridor lined with dirt and rock on either side.
"This bad boy right here is the Drama Mine," Chris said with an evil grin. "Have you beheld it enough yet?"
"Yeah, we're good," Tyler said casually.
"Go down this narrow, twisting tube and you'll end up in a naturally-occurring cavern that I've repurposed for our underground challenges," Chris explained. "For this particular event, I have hidden some Gilded Chris awards somewhere in the network of tubes leading out from the main area." He showed a picture of a little yellow statue that looked like himself. Its base was painted a dark, rich blue. "Along the way to the Gilded Chris' are various Silver Chef medallions." He showed a picture of a large, coinlike object with Chef's trademark scowl stamped into it. "Both of these are worth points. The medallions are worth one point each, the Gilded Chris' ten each. Whichever one of our four teams gets the most points by finding the most statues and medallions when I call time wins the challenge. Whoever gets the least votes someone out.
"Now for the teams. We will have three teams of eighteen and one team of nineteen. Each team is color-coded, like the base of your Gilded Chris'. You can only present the Chris' of your team's color or those points will not be counted in your total. When I call your names, separate out.
"Izzy, Jo, Heather, Courtney, Scott, Jacques, Josee, Miles, Laurie, Sierra, Leshawna, Cody, Harold, Beardo, Junior, Amy, Sammy, and MacArthur, you are the Radiant Rubies! Your color is red.
"Noah, Owen, Ennui, Sam, Zoey, Mike, Zeke, Geoff, Ella, Lightning, Anne Maria, Gwen, Mary, Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Dawn, and Lindsay, you are the Stunning Sapphires! Your color is blue.
"Jen, Tom, Lorenzo, Max, Alejandro, Devin, Ryan, Brady, Duncan, Emma, Trent, Beth, Stephanie, Topher, Brody, Shawn, Bridgette, and Jasmine, you are the Daring Diamonds! Your color is yellow."
"Yellow? Diamonds ain't yellow," Anne Maria objected.
"Actually, the majority of diamonds are yellow due to nitrogen impurities developed during their formation," Cameron explained.
"Yeah, plus the white paint wouldn't stick to the bases," Chris added. Then he leered at Cameron. "Funny you should speak up, Cam. You and everyone else are the Easy Emeralds! Your color is green."
"Easy?!" Justin asked. "You give everyone else better superlatives, and all we get is 'easy'?!"
"From a geological standpoint, emeralds aren't as hard as the others," Scarlett explained.
"Yeah, plus green is like, not as good as the primary colors," Chris added. "I only gave you the numeric advantage out of pity."
Confessional – The Nerdinator.
I threw my hands up in the air. "Congratulations Total Drama, you've badmouthed green! First Rebecca Sugar, and now YOU."
Radiant Rubies: Izzy, Jo, Heather, Courtney, Scott, Jacques, Josee, Miles, Laurie, Sierra, Leshawna, Cody, Harold, Junior, Beardo, Amy, Sammy, and MacArthur.
Stunning Sapphires: Noah, Owen, Ennui, Sam, Zoey, Mike, Zeke, Geoff, Ella, Lightning, Anne Maria, Gwen, Mary, Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Dawn, and Lindsay.
Daring Diamonds: Jen, Tom, Lorenzo, Max, Alejandro, Devin, Ryan, Brady, Duncan, Emma, Trent, Beth, Stephanie, Topher, Brody, Shawn, Bridgette, and Jasmine.
Easy Emeralds: Sugar, Scarlett, Sky, Lauren, Justin, Eva, Carrie, Sanders, Brick, B, Crimson, Kitty, Cameron, Mickey, Jay, Dave, Jazz, Taylor, and DJ.
"Now start going down!"
Stunning Sapphires
"I don't want to do this," Gwen gulped. "Million dollars or not, this is reckless and life-threatening."
"So is literally almost everything else here," Noah pointed out, deadpan.
"You know what I think?" Ennui asked monotonously. Before Gwen could say anything, he answered his own question. "We're all going to see the face of death eventually, to enter its gaping maw and never return. But every time we get close to its face, we grow used to it, and some day, it can no longer scare us."
Gwen smiled. "Well, when you put it that way, you're pretty convincing. Lemme guess, you're going to be a philosophy major?"
"Yes."
With renewed vigor, Gwen jumped down the hole.
It actually wasn't that bad. The bottom of the ramp was smooth, and it felt more like an amusement park ride than a deathtrap. In fact, many of the teens were whooping happily as they slid down to the bottom.
The Stunning Sapphires made it down first. "Hey, where's–" Mike began, before Owen rolled down the ramp onto the bottom, right on top of an inattentive Katie. "Never mind, he's here."
Owen hastily got up. "Sorry," he said nervously. "I tried to stop, but it didn't work."
"I can figure that out," Katie grunted, staggering to her feet.
"Katie! Are you okay?" Sadie exclaimed, taking her best friend's hand.
"I've been through worse. Remember that time the football team dogpiled me?"
"Oh yeah! I remember that," Tyler chuckled. "They thought you were me for some reason. Can't understand why."
"'Cuz you got da body of a tootpick, squirt," Anne Maria explained.
"Oh...hey!"
"Anyway!" Noah barked, getting everyone's attention. "We don't know everything about this challenge yet. Knowing Chris, he's too obsessed with his hair's wellbeing to come down here."
Confessional – Chris.
"It's true," Chris shrugged nonchalantly.
"So I suggest we get to the main corridor or something so we can find out more. That sound good?"
As everyone left, Noah walked up to Sam. "When the Radiant Rubies come, I want you to find Cody and get him to bring his team over."
"What for?"
"I have an idea on how we might be able to win."
"Really?"
"Hey, I'm not labeled The Scheming Cynic for nothing."
Easy Emeralds
Jay winced as he rubbed his sore rear. "I don't think I've ever had a wedgie that bad," he groaned.
"Me either," Mickey agreed. "Guess we should've packed a different set of underpants. One that doesn't ride up all the time."
"Oh, quit your whinin'! It can't hurt that bad!" Sugar snapped. "Anywho, where the [f word] are we s'posed to go?"
"While I don't appreciate the language, miss, I do agree that we should find out where we're to meet for our instructions," Brick said. "Any ideas?"
"There's most likely a large cavern somewhere down this path," Scarlett mused. "After all, we're having no trouble breathing, so there's bound to be an immense pocket of air somewhere nearby."
"So what are we waiting for?" Eva grunted. "C'mon, let's go! The sooner we get there, the sooner we can make Chris regret giving us this crappy team name. I mean, emeralds are tough, sharp, and pretty badly toxic if ingested. Why not prove Chris wrong? That green truly is the best color."
Her team nodded, and followed their newly-decided-on captain to their destination.
The main cavern was positively enormous, able to fit a four-story, 4800-square-foot house inside with room to spare. Joseph the intern stood in the middle, with the teens gathered around him.
"Okay," he said. "Each team gets a bag for loot." He distributed four large burlap bags with the team's gem stitched into it.
One bag had a deep, ocean blue round-cut sapphire.
The next had a moody red pear-cut ruby.
Another had a soothingly green emerald-cut, well, emerald.
And the Daring Diamonds, who'd shown up last, got a bag with the stitched portrait of a trilliant-cut diamond that looked as though it were made of golden glass.
"You each also get miner's helmets to supplant the light fixtures, and picks and emergency radios in the event of a cave-in," he added.
Once everyone had their things, Joseph said, "Alright, now start going into the tunnels. No rules on staying together with your team or helping others. Be back here in two hours."
Guy's Alliance
The Guy's Alliance had gone off by themselves into one of the tunnels, separated from the rest of their team. Alejandro mumbled to himself in Spanish as he ran his hands along a patch of loose rocks in the wall.
"Chris has most likely hidden the items in locations such as this," he said. "Unfortunately, even with my muscles I cannot dislodge these rocks. Ryan, can you handle these?"
"Of course, dude," Ryan replied, walking over and easily hefting the rocks out of the way. Behind them were three medallions.
"Like I said, hidden under the rocks," Alejandro said proudly.
Devin cringed as he picked them up. "It's so uncanny how they got Chef's face so...accurate."
"Si, es muy espantoso," Alejandro replied, a little cautiously.
"You okay?" Duncan asked.
"The Rubies and Sapphires went together. I am certain Noah is going to attempt to use his alliance to dominate the challenge."
"Well, look on the bright side, dude. He's not here to corral anyone on our team who'd be with him, plus he's stuck with Anne Maria."
Alejandro chuckled. "I forgot that. Wonder how he's faring."
Radiant Rubies and Stunning Sapphires
Geek and Misfit Alliances
"So, let me get this straight. You want us to work together?" Cody asked Noah.
"Yeah. I don't want to share the stupid trinkets with you guys or anything, I just think we'd need some extra eyes to keep us safe."
"Sounds fair, but what's in it for me?"
"...I mean, I know she deserved it, but seriously, Cora's elimination in Extreme Chess: Pillar Edition was way too harsh," Sierra was heard saying.
"Uh...yeah, really don't care," Jo was heard replying.
"See? I can help you get her off your tail. If your team does lose, I'll tell the Misfits on it to vote for Sierra."
"Deal," Cody said, stretching out his hand. Noah shook it. "You aren't going to sabotage us, are you?"
"Nope. But I figured, hey, a ruby's just a red sapphire, we may as well help them."
"Words to live by," Cody laughed.
Elsewhere, Anne Maria was spraying her hair for the umpteenth time that day. "Oh my gag, do you mind? I'm trying NOT to die of cancer!" Amy snapped.
"You's just jelly that you ain't got mah style," Anne Maria replied.
"Okay, THAT'S IT, you're going down!" Amy attempted to pounce on her, only for MacArthur and Sanders to restrain her. "Hey, lemme at her!"
As the scene unfolded in front of her Mike sighed and rubbed his temples. "I'm just glad she's not begging for Vito," he muttered.
"Vito? Who's he?" Mike opened his eyes and saw a red-haired girl he didn't think he knew.
"Uh...you know my personalities?"
"Yeah, I was made aware of it."
"Well, I have five counting myself, and two of them haven't come out on this trip yet. Vito's one of them. He's an Italian tough guy who's really aggressive and talks smack a lot. I think he was inspired by me watching Joisey Beach one time when I was little or something. Anne Maria has a HUGE crush on him; the feeling's not mutual, but she doesn't know it."
"Oh. Are all your personalities based on TV characters?"
"Not all of them," Mike explained, "but the last one you haven't met is. He's an Australian explorer named Manitoba Smith. Confident, bold, bit of a womanizer. He came from a movie I saw once."
"Cool," the girl said. "Sorry if I didn't introduce myself; I'm Zoey, the Indie Chick."
"You like indie music? I never got a chance to listen to it, though I've heard good things about it. You write any songs?"
"I'm not much of a writer, more of a listener."
"Yeah, that basically describes me and music too."
Through a tablet, Chris watched the scene from the opening of the ramp with a contemptuous scowl on his face. "Ah, young love. How sick you make me. C'mon, I want PAIN!"
Suddenly, he saw Owen get shoved to the side by Lightning when the latter found a rubine Gilded Chris, resulting in Owen banging his head against the wall of the tunnel, causing rocks to fall and close off the exit.
"THAT'S more like it!" Chris laughed. "Will the Corundum Syndicate rock out of this one? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris said to the audience. "The Corundums are in a conundrum, the Diamonds are staying sharp, but what happened to the Emeralds?"
Easy Emeralds
Misfit Mega-Alliance
The tremor had been felt by everyone. "I didn't like the sound of that," Carrie shuddered. "Do you think there was a cave-in?"
"Probably," Kitty replied, also nervous. "I hope it wasn't where Emma is."
"What happened to her, anyway? I mean, no one can possibly be that nervous about being embarrassed," Eva added.
"It's...deep-rooted. Can you guys keep a secret?"
"Sure," Carrie said casually.
Kitty took a deep breath in and began to explain.
Suddenly, the feed stopped, and Chris jumped in front of the camera. "Just so we're clear, this show isn't about them," he said, crossing out their faces with a red marker. "It's about MY vision!" He drew an arrow pointing to himself, then scribbled over their faces some more. "And what I want to do is to see how the Sapphires and Rubies are going, so CHANGE CAMERAS ALREADY!"
Corundum Syndicate
"Oh gosh! We're trapped!" Harold started hyperventilating. "Now we're not going to make it to the finale, and I'm never going to start my own camp like Master Steve, and–"
Josee slapped him upside the head. Hard. "Shut up already! Panicking won't get you anywhere. Now, how are we going to get out?"
"Well, there's a little hole right at the top," Geoff mentioned, noticing an opening just large enough for a human body that the rocks had yet to cover. "We need someone who can both climb a lot of rocks AND is super duper skinny." He looked around. "Zeke?"
"Nah, eh, I'm noo good with that kind o' thing, clamberin' without trying to fall on me head," Zeke replied.
"Amy?"
"Not in these clothes I'm not," she scoffed. "Send Samey."
"We're wearing the same outfits though!" Sammy exclaimed. "Oh, why do I even bother..."
"I could do it," Cody offered. "I mean, I'm definitely the right size for it."
"Sorry dude, but I can't let you do that," Geoff said, shaking his head. "You're smart, you're too valuable to lose."
"I'm smarter, but no one ever gives ME any credit," Noah muttered. Owen patted his shoulder, then thought.
"Hey! What about Mike? He knows Svetlana better than any of us!" Everyone turned to Mike, then to Owen. "What if we let Svetlana get out and call for help? I mean, the radios aren't working–"
"I knew Chris was cheap," Heather grumbled.
"–and we only have one person who can do this. Mike, get Svetlana. Please. For our sake."
"I'll try, but...she only triggers in athletic events...hm..."
While Mike tried to coax his last remaining female personality out, Anne Maria had other things planned. "We don't need dat veggie-lovin' ballerina!"
"Um, she's a gymnast–"
"What we need is a certain tough boy!" With that, she forcefully yanked Mike's shirt off.
Mike gasped. His hair slicked itself back. Muscles most people didn't even know were there suddenly became present, puffing out of his skinny stomach and arms. His eyes narrowed, a contemptuous scowl on his face.
"Ayo!" Vito shouted, a stereotypical South Jersey Sicilian accent adorning his voice. "Would one of you palookas care to 'splain why I'm here?"
Anne Maria's legs jittered with excitement. "It's him!" she squeaked.
Everyone else groaned. Vito wasn't exactly...likeable.
"We need you to go through that hole in the top of those rocks and get help," Courtney said, slowly to make sure he got it.
"And what's in it for me if I do?" Vito asked, raising an eyebrow.
"We'll have an easier time winning this competition if we're alive. I shudder to think how far the other teams have gotten."
Daring Diamonds
"Hey–" Lorenzo picked up a Gilded Chris, only to find that its base was green. "Aw, man!"
He tossed it behind his back, not noticing B sneak up behind him, pick up the statue, and leave as quietly as he came.
Vito shrugged. "Eh, I s'pose I could lend a hand or two. But make no mistake, I don't need you chumps."
"Neither do we," Jo retorted.
Vito hefted some of the rocks aside so he could have an easier time climbing up the pile, which he did, and safely escaped the cavern.
"What a guy," Anne Maria sighed, fainting happily.
"How long before he gets into a fight with someone?" Noah groaned to himself.
Outside
Not very long, it turned out. Vito had been jogging to the center chamber when he ran into Duncan, knocking both onto their backs. "Ayo! Watch where you're going, dumb[a word]!" Then he frowned. "You? I thought you'd be in the slammer again by now."
"You of all people have no right to say that," Duncan snarled, getting back up.
Vito rapidly stood up too and got in his face. "Hey, I had no say in what Mal did, and you know it! Don't go blamin' me for something that son of a [b word] did in my body!"
"OUR body," Mike corrected him in his mind.
"Ah, shaddap." Vito glared back at Duncan, who'd drawn a knife from his pocket.
"Duncan!" Alejandro barked from behind him. "Leave him. We need to win."
"Fine by me." Duncan smirked at Vito. "Next time, send your original to me. I need to...pay him back some things I owe him."
First Alternate Confessional – Vito.
Vito groaned. "I hate Duncan SO. MUCH. I swear dat guy's parta da reason Mal even exists. But you didn't hear dat from me, al'ight?"
Center Chamber
"Ten minutes until time's up!" Joseph called out.
The Daring Diamonds and Easy Emeralds began making their way out of the various tunnels they'd gone through, their sacks weighed down by the loot they'd uncovered.
"Kitty!" Kitty turned her head and got pulled into an unexpected embrace from her sister. "Thank goodness you're okay! I thought you were trapped in the cave-in!"
"Emmaaaaaa!" Kitty blushed. "You're embarrassing me!"
"I know that feel," Devin said sympathetically. "My father tries too hard to fit in with Generation Z. It's kinda sad, actually. Wait, I shouldn't have said that on live TV!" He ran over to the camera and tried to pull on it. "How do you get the batteries out of this thing?"
The Xins looked on, confused, but it gave Kitty a change to wiggle out of her sister's arms. "Wait," Emma said. "If you're here and I'm here–" she gasped on realization. "The Sapphires and Rubies! They must be the ones trapped!"
"As one o' dem, I can confoim dat," an unfamiliar voice agreed. Emma saw one of Mike's other personalities (Vito, she think Mike had called him) approach. "We's stuck in da cave-in. Well, they are."
"Aren't you going to help them?" Emma asked quizzically, raising an eyebrow.
"Why should I? I'm stronga den five of dem put togetha. I don't need dem." Vito crossed his arms. "I could win this stupid game all by myself."
"I don't think so," Emma replied, angry, before turning around and huffing as she left.
Confessional – Emma.
Emma sighed. "I hope they're alright..."
Corundum Syndicate
Back in the cave, Anne Maria had decided to entertain (and I use the term loosely) the others with her useless gossip. Sierra was pretty much the only person getting anything out of it, avidly taking notes with a pad and pencil, with a backup pencil behind her ear. Everyone else just wanted it to end.
Junior groaned. "Why? What did I do to deserve this?" Far behind him, MacArthur was repeatedly smacking her head into the wall with a regular, staccato beat.
"I'm asking myself the same question, kid," Scott agreed.
"'Kid?!' I'm only two years younger than you!" the Ambitious Freshman protested.
Scott smirked. "Age is just a number."
"Funny you of all people are calling others out for immaturity, Scott," Gwen mused.
"What do ya–" Suddenly it clicked, and Scott grimaced. "Now hold on just a–"
"I'll have to agree with Gwen on this one," Courtney interrupted. "Part of why we broke up was that I wanted someone more mature than you were, even before the shark attack."
"Oh yeah," Scott remembered.
Courtney folded her arms. "Maturity is a big deal for me."
"Same," Gwen agreed. "I mean, you have to let loose every once in a while, but some people really do need to grow up."
Confessional – Gwen.
"Courtney's actually pretty cool," Gwen said. "We never really talked much in school, even though we had the same homeroom. I guess it's because she hangs around Heather, since Heather's one of the few people she feels comfortable venting to." She shrugged. "I think I'd like to get to know her some more. Guess I really should try to eliminate Heather, huh?" Then she frowned. "In all honesty though, I'm probably gonna vote out Lightning if my team loses, because he's technically responsible for this mess in the first place. Sure, Ennui helped me get over my fear of being buried alive a little, but what Lightning did kinda undid all the progress I'd made."
Anne Maria had been filing her nails, which she'd painted a metallic rose purple to match her shirt, and was about to carelessly throw her file away.
"Don't!" Miles protested.
"What is it now? I'm gonna mess wit da natral ordah?" Anne Maria teased.
"No. First off, don't litter. Secondly, we're in an unstable cave system. One false move could send the whole thing down!"
"Nah, you're just being paranormal."
"The word is 'paranoid', you imbecile!" Jacques shouted from where he was standing.
Anne Maria didn't care and tossed the offending piece of wood behind her shoulder. But for once, Miles was right. The file bounced off a loose patch of rocks, and more of the cave's roof began to crumble.
The rocks began to fall.
Zoey did what any sane person would do and screamed.
Outside
Vito gasped. His bangs perked back up and his muscles disappeared. "Huh?" Mike blinked, before noticing his shirt was gone. "Uh..." he chuckled nervously, trying to cover himself. Cameron gave him an extra shirt. "Thanks buddy. Was Vito out?"
"Yeah," Cameron replied, "and I think we could figure out who's responsible."
Mike sighed. "What am I going to do about her, Cam? Also, how am I back?"
"When you hear someone you trust in trouble, the presence of an alternate is automatically overridden."
"Oh, of course. Wait, that must mean my team's in trouble!"
"Eh, ignore 'em. You gotta focus on winnin'," Sugar said dismissively. "'Sides, how's a doofus like you gonna help them?"
Mike furrowed his brow. Then he spoke, determination and certainty in his voice.
"Duncan, give me a can of spray paint. Ryan, get ready to lift. Tom and Jen...
"Get me a fedora."
Corundum Syndicate
"We're all gonna die!" Sierra shrieked. "If I don't make it, tell Cody I love him!"
"We're on the same team!" Cody shrieked back.
"Oh, right. Then kiss me, Codykins, before we're gone forever!"
"I think you might be overreacting..." Sammy said meekly. "Not that I want to die or anything, but I think we'll be fine."
"How do you know, Samey?" Amy grumbled.
"I happen to know our author refuses to kill off main characters."
Suddenly, the rumbling stopped. Both teams noticed the pile of rocks blocking the entrance was shrinking, before eventually it was gone.
"All you bloody [wn word]s gotta hop to it!" an unfamiliar voice with a thick Australian accent ordered. No one argued as they scrambled out.
Before she left, Anne Maria spotted something among the rubble and picked up a dark blue crystal roughly the size of a walnut. Remembering Cameron saying that diamonds weren't always transparent, Anne Maria got her hopes up and quickly pocketed the rock.
Their savior was revealed to be Mike's fifth surviving persona, Manitoba Smith. The fedora had triggered his transformation, his eyes becoming squinted and stern with the experience of a middle-aged man. He'd tagged particular rocks with the neon green spray paint so Ryan could clear the opening with minimal damage.
"Thanks a bunch, Mr. Smith!" Zoey exclaimed, racing up to shake his hand.
"'Twas nothing, miss," Manitoba replied courteously, before kissing her hand. Behind them, Anne Maria scowled.
"Okay, back to the brain you go, wiseguy," Noah muttered, walking over and removing the fedora. Manitoba gasped and Mike returned.
"Now that everyone's out, I think it's time to count our finds," Joseph interrupted. Remembering the game at last, everyone emptied their bags and counted.
The Radiant Rubies had found three medallions and two Chris', for 23 points.
The Stunning Sapphires had found twelve medallions and one Chris, for 22 points.
The Daring Diamonds had found seven medallions and three Chris', for 37 points.
And the Easy Emeralds had found fifteen medallions and four Chris', for 55 points.
"Can't believe we lost by one measly point," Geoff muttered.
"At least we have our lives," Dawn reminded him.
"Yeah, you're right. I'll take living to party than partying with the dead any day!"
"Uh, stupid question time? How are we gonna get outta here?" Leshawna asked.
Chris answered her. A massive tube snaked down the ramp to the caverns and vacuumed everyone back up.
Confessional – Josee.
"Third place!" Josee screeched. "In other words, BRONZE! The metal of COMMONERS!" She fainted.
"Josee?" Jacques asked from outside the confessional. "You alright?" He opened the door and saw what had happened. "Uh-oh."
"I take it everyone had fun?" Chris teased. Everyone glared at him. "What, too soon?"
"More than a little!" Courtney seethed.
"Okay, fine, you're all getting a breather challenge next. That enough compensation for you?" Courtney nodded. "Glad that's taken care of. With 55 points, the Easy Emeralds win!" They cheered. "I was wrong, you had it in you. You are now officially...The Excellent Emeralds!"
"Finally, something good," Justin sighed.
"But we have losers, too. Meet me at the campfire at eight, Stunning Sapphires, someone's going back to the jeweler's!"
Confessional – Sadie.
"Katie and I are still mad about him smushing her," Sadie explained angrily as she wrote OWEN on a piece of paper. "Plus, he's part of the biggest alliance here. If he's gone, we could cripple its power."
Confessional – Anne Maria.
"Dat red-haired hussy's tryna' steal mah Vito!" Anne Maria snarled, writing ZOEY on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Tyler.
"Noah said Owen's probably at risk for rolling onto Katie," Tyler explained. "So he's having us vote for Anne Maria because she kinda made the situation in the cave pretty awful." He wrote ANNE MARIA on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Noah.
Noah wrote ANNE MARIA on a piece of paper, then looked up at the camera. "If my plan works, Anne Maria's gone. Not only do we have better competitors – and I really mean it," he muttered, "but this will be a show of power that may increase our chances of some of us getting into the final ten. After all, you don't mess with the Misfit Mega-Alliance, 'cuz it will mess with YOU."
"Here's how we work eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Eighteen marshmallows sat on the plate, five of them colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got to dig up more drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Noah, Sam, Mike, Zeke, Geoff, Ella, Gwen, Mary, Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Dawn, and Lindsay."
Mike sighed, relieved, as he got his marshmallow. He'd privately feared that Vito's behavior would've put him at risk. Inside his mind, his other personalities were busy lecturing the tough guy, who wasn't happy about it at all.
Chris pointed to the blue marshmallows. "Blue means you received only one vote against you, so I think that Lightning and Zoey should get up here."
Zoey gulped and nervously got hers. While walking back, Lightning shoved her aside, knocking her to the ground. "Sha-move it, lady!"
Zoey got marshmallow all over her face. Humiliated, she ran off, crying.
"Meh, she'll get over it," Chris said dismissively. He pointed to the green marshmallow. "Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. And by the looks of it, Ennui's got a pair o' peeps who don't like him that much."
Ennui looked behind him. Lindsay and Geoff shivered in their seats when his unnaturally yellow eyes met theirs.
"I don't blame you," he said quietly, before retrieving his marshmallow.
Two colored marshmallows were left. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you're gone. Anne Maria. Owen."
The two looked at him. Owen looked at Noah, who seemed very confident.
"Anne Maria, you're vain and headstrong. Not bad qualities, but not good ones for this challenge. Owen, you almost injured someone, plus you're an alliance threat. Who's going home?
...
...
...
...
"Anne Maria, you've been let go!" He frowned a genuine frown. "Really sorry it came to this."
"Eh, I'm not too mad. 'Cuz I got DIS!" She held up her find. "A genuine blue diamond! Dat's gotta be wort a lot."
"Uh...that's a zircon...you'd be lucky if it's worth twenty bucks," Mary piped up.
Anne Maria's face dropped. "WAT?!"
Confessional – Gwen.
"Good riddance, I say," Gwen scoffed. "And perhaps when the time's right, I'll say that to someone else. I found this in the rubble in the cave." She showed Heather's immunity idol to the camera.
Chris stood at the mouth of the Drama Mine. "Twelve down. Seventy-two remain. Who's going to strike it rich and whose chances at fame will be eroded away? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
He turned to leave, but went the wrong way and fell down the mine.
"MY HAIR!"
Votes:
Noah – Anne Maria
Owen – Anne Maria
Ennui – Owen
Sam – Anne Maria
Zoey – Anne Maria
Mike – Anne Maria
Zeke – Anne Maria
Geoff – Ennui
Ella – Didn't vote
Lightning – Owen
Anne Maria – Zoey
Gwen – Lightning
Mary – Anne Maria
Katie – Owen
Sadie – Owen
Tyler – Anne Maria
Dawn – Anne Maria
Lindsay – Ennui
Results: 9-3-2-1-1 Anne Maria-Owen-Ennui-Lightning-Zoey
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Owen, Carrie (Noah), Heather (Gwen)
Future eliminations immunized against: Noah (4)
Bonus clip:
"Hey...you okay?" Mike asked a sobbing Zoey.
"N-no," she sniffed. "I moved here from America because I couldn't find anyone who'd want to be friends with me. I tried hanging out with Taylor's Angels but it didn't work out. Am I destined to be alone?"
"I was in your place once," Mike replied. "It's tough. But you'll find your people someday. For the record, I like your company."
Zoey stopped crying and smiled at him. "Thank you."