With this chapter, THD crosses the 100,000 word mark! Thanks to all my reviewers, followers, and favoriters for giving me a reason to keep doing this!
Speaking of which, it's review time!
Lara 2244: Yep!
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! That's Blaineley for you. She seems ineffective as an antagonist, but she's actually very cunning. Dakota and Phil being interns is a reference to the original series (Phil was Cody's original design who got repurposed into one of the more commonly-seen interns in Total Drama).
personMcawesome: Thanks! Our disclaimer parodies the one before every episode of TDI, where the entire Total Drama universe began. This story just gets better from there! :D
AlienGhostWizard14: You are correct! That's why I brought them back. And thanks for the compliment, I try my best to keep the relationships realistic!
Guest: Does chapter is update?
Monday, October 16, 2017
"Last time on Total Drama – rocking, rocking and rolling! [The teens sliding into the mine] Down to the beach, they wanted to be strolling! [The buildup to the Drama Mine's reveal] But I had, other ideas for fun [Ryan finding some medallions] and the romance, I said, mrm, stop it now! [Zoey and Mike bonding] Sometime later, Lightning got bolder [Lightning bumping into Owen] and the Corundums got covered in boulders! [The initial cave-in] They sent Mike out to get help so they'd be freed [Vito climbing up the boulders, cut to Manitoba rescuing everyone] and the Misfits, they voted out Anne Mari...a. [Anne Maria's elimination] Wow, I can't believe I actually sang that dorky song."
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Seventy-two contestants remain. Who will live to prey another day and who will be predated on by elimination? Find out in today's episode of
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a passing Harold in the groin. Duncan and Jacques laughed at him.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the island, passing Chris on a beach chair getting massaged by an intern, Dawn meditating with Zoey, Brady and Beth on a rope swing together, Leonard and Tammy casting "spells" while Ella watched, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Chet and Lorenzo fighting to the disapproval of Ellody and Mary.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the animals. That is, until a mutant gopher showed up. They screamed and ran away. Pan to Scott, Lightning, and Jo, who'd disrupted the session with the gopher. They high-fived.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on a rubber raft. The raft fell off a waterfall, taking them with it. Bridgette, Geoff, and Brody watched.
*Instrumental*
The three girls found Owen underwater. Owen farted, sending the rivals and more than a few dead fish to the surface. Above, Zeke, Mike, and Rodney were fishing in a little boat when the lake became littered with fish and three teenage girls. Zeke grabbed one of the dead fish and triumphantly held it over his head, while Rodney began checking out Taylor's rear.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
At one of the beaches, Katie and Sadie admired Justin. Behind them, Justin's ex Lauren sighed sadly. On the other side of the beach, Izzy, wearing a spider costume, was chasing Cameron, Dakota, and Sam for no apparent reason.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was cooking some disgusting green slop in the cafeteria. Kitty and Junior looked at each other, frightened of what was to come. Behind them sat Tyler, Leshawna, Ryan, both of the Jasmines (looking at each other, very confused), Lindsay, Mickey and Jay, and Shawn. Dave obsessively cleaned the tables, while B looked on.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sierra had Cody in a headlock out of love. Amy had Sammy in one out of hate. Cody and Sammy looked at each other and sighed.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Rock and Spud air-guitared. Courtney and Gwen looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they saw Trent jamming with them. He stopped and smiled sheepishly at the girls.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Carrie and Devin sat together on the dock, watching Tom, Jen, and Anne Maria compare fashion tips. Then the dock gave out under them, sending them into the water. It turned out Alejandro had been responsible. He grinned evilly at the camera.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher cockily smiled at Eva, who decked him in response. Behind them, Scarlett and Max passed through a field of lustblossoms, and suddenly began making out.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and then Sugar interrupted the moment by appearing between them. Angry, Emma started chasing Sugar around the camp to the amusement of the others, while Noah stared apathetically at the camera.
Daring Diamonds
"I CANNOT believe you would wear those ugly shoes," Taylor said crossly. She said this in reference to Jen, who was sitting on the porch of her team's cabin and had a pair of black-strapped Gizeh Birkenstocks sitting next to her. Currently, Jen was painting her toenails an eggplant purple color to match her outfit for the day.
Jen rolled her eyes and glared at her. "It's unusually hot today for October, and these were the only not-high-heeled sandals I was able to bring. And I like them a lot, so shut it. Why are you even here, anyway? You're not even on my team."
"Isn't it obvious? I came here to remind you that you lost, stupid," Taylor remarked.
"'Lost' is too strong a word. My team came in second, if you're too conceited to remember anything from Friday."
"Second place is just first place for losers." Taylor cackled as she left.
Jen sighed. "Why do people like her have friends?"
"It's the allure of prestige you get by associating with rich people," Emma said as she approached her. "Ignore her, I think Birkenstocks are alright as far as sandals are concerned. If she doesn't like it, it's her own [d word] fault she's encouraging the fossil fuel consumption that made sandals acceptable footwear for mid-October in the first place."
Jen smiled. "Thanks, Em, you're totes real. Your shoes aren't too shabby either," she added in reference to Emma's gladiators. Then her expression changed. "Wait, you understand why people like Taylor are so popular?"
"Let's just say I used to be in the in-crowd," Emma sighed, plopping herself next to Jen, careful not to mess her up.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No...not really. It's still kinda fresh in my mind."
"I bet I could open you up."
"And how is that?"
"Makeover!" Emma froze. "Oh, don't worry, I'll keep it subtle, I know you're modest and I like that about you. But I also think you need a little pop of color." Finished with her own pedicure, Jen placed the purple shade back with the others, exchanging it for a dark red bottle. "We'll start with your nails, because you wear a lotta nude colors and let's face it, your skin tone's not good at getting them to stand out."
Stunning Sapphires
Something else stood out much better than Emma's usual nail fare of grays and manilas. That something was a visiting Izzy, who proudly brandished a large number of smoked, whole Asian carp impaled on wooden sticks. "Breakfast is served!" she declared. Immediately, everyone in the cabin rushed out to get a fish. Well, almost everyone.
"I'm tired of Chef's awful cooking too, but does it have to be fish?" Dawn asked her teammates.
"Asian carp are an invasive species," Noah reminded her. "You should be proud there's someone who's trying to save the native fish."
"True, true."
"Aw, don't feel bad, Dawn! Izzy of the Wild brought you some food too!" She hit Dawn in the face with a loaf of bread, knocking her over. "Here's my leftover bait!"
"Thank you," Dawn said from under the bread. Izzy quickly handed everyone else some of her fish and they all started eating.
"Izzy, I love you!" Owen declared, earning him an affectionate nudge from his girlfriend.
"Mmph," Tyler said as he chewed on the flank of his, "this is great! Aw man, this takes me back to when my dad and I fished together back home!" He frowned. "Now I can't help but remember the time I got two fishing hooks in my thumb."
"How'd that happen, Ty Lee?" Lindsay asked.
"He tried to get the first fish hook out with another fish hook," Geoff explained before going back to his own carp.
"But how did the first one get in there?"
"Fish got away," Tyler replied. "My bad luck did the rest."
"Aw, poor Tyler," Lindsay said sympathetically. "Can I kiss your thumb to help it be better?"
Tyler blushed. "It happened a while ago, Lindsay, but sure." He gave her his right hand, showing Lindsay the lingering scar. The Scatterbrained Princess gently kissed the scar with her thick, luscious lips.
Confessional – Tyler.
"YES!" Tyler exclaimed, punching the air. "She kissed my hand! And the best part? She remembered my name this time!" He laughed. "Ah, I love that girl. She's a little ditzy, but no matter what, she's always really nice to everyone she meets."
Noah finished eating; his small size meant he was full quickly. "Well, I'm done. I gotta go get some air, the smell's getting a little much for me."
"Can I eat the rest of your fish?" Owen asked. Noah hadn't been able to finish, while Owen had already polished off both of his, their bones hanging limply from their sticks.
"Sure, why not, get some more brain food into you." He handed Owen his fish, and left. Owen hungrily began scarfing down what was left, none the wiser to what Noah was actually up to.
Noah trotted out to the fir tree where he'd hid the idols. He looked down; the ground was undisturbed from the time he'd buried Carrie's idol. He sighed in relief. "Good, they're still safe." He was about to leave when something he saw caught his eye.
It was Emma. But not as he knew it. Her face was much more made up than normal, with slightly thicker eyeliner and more concealer over her lingering acne marks. Her lips glistened more than normal, too, and her hair looked a lot neater than she normally bothered to keep it. It wasn't like her to be that dressed-up, though something in the back of his mind silently approved.
"What happened to you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Jen happened," Emma sighed. "She thought if she gave me a makeover I'd tell her more about my life before Pahkitew."
"Did it work?"
"Not really, I just gave her a few weird teacher stories. I'm...not ready to tell everyone everything yet."
"Hey Emma, Izzy's giving us a break from Chef's breakfast! Trust me, fish is WAY better than–" Kitty saw the conversation and dove behind a bush. "Oh, she's not going to be happy when she finds out I told some people, is she?" Kitty asked herself nervously.
"Eh, I don't really care if you don't want to talk about it right now. Go at your own pace," Noah shrugged. "If you're not ready, then you're not ready, and you don't deserved to be forced into it."
"That's EXACTLY what I was thinking!"
"Although I gotta say, Jen did a good job on you. You look great."
Emma stood rock-still. It had been a while since someone her age gave her a genuine compliment. "...Thanks."
Noah looked down at her hands and feet, both of which were adorned with a formidable, imposing dark red enamel. "Nice nails," he commented. "Jen also?"
"Who else? But thank you, I didn't think you'd notice them."
"I did because dark red's my favorite color. It's got red's passion and black's confidence, but at the same time is more reserved than either of them."
"I didn't know you felt that way about art."
"Well, let's say Dawn dragged me to a painting class in sixth grade so she could figure out which colors her synesthesia associated with which feeling, and I ended up liking it more than I thought I would."
"Ah, I see. Wait, you and Dawn were in the same grade? But she's a sophomore."
"Blame Blaineley, she thought Dawn wasn't 'mature' enough, so she made her repeat ninth grade."
Emma winced. "Ooh, tough. Kitty almost got held back second grade for the same reason. But I'm glad she wasn't. Annoying she can be at times, she's a good kid."
"Yeah, ditto the Misfits. Annoying, but you gotta love them." The two then sat there in silence.
Kitty grinned and murmured "Boop...boop...boop..."
An hour later
"Campers! Tell me, do you like obstacle courses?" Chris asked the gathered masses in Zata Clearing.
"Oh no, not another one!" Duncan groaned. "Would it kill you to, y'know, think harder when you were making up challenges?"
"Probably," Heather replied, earning her some laughs.
"Ah, but I DID think hard about this one," Chris corrected the Delinquent. "You see, this is a two-fold obstacle course. If your ENTIRE team can't complete the first part, they don't get to move on to the second part."
"Which is?" Scarlett asked, gesturing for him to explain.
"First, everyone get into your original seven teams!" They did as they were told. "Now, ever wonder why I named them after animals? So you could have...MASCOTS! Bring 'em in, boys and girls!"
A bunch of interns began hauling in various animals in various containers, each animal representing the teams. The Red Robins had a small European robin staring dumbly at them. The Orange Ocelots had an ocelot with slightly more orange fur than usual. The Yellow Yaks had a yak with leucism, its fur blonde instead of the usual black. The Green Gators had an angry female American alligator, not happy that she'd been woken up from her nap. The Cyan Sharks had the bull shark who'd escaped during the first challenge, his hide mutated from gray to baby blue by the nuclear waste runoff. The Blue Beetles had another mutant, a royal blue darkling beetle roughly the size of a rat. Lastly, the Purple Pigs had a hulking, purplish-black-furred wild boar.
"What's with that beetle?" Dave asked nervously.
"It got a little radioactive," Chris replied cheerfully. "That's why it's able to breathe at that size. Don't worry, you're not going to be going after it, because I'm making some extra teams!
"Ella, Justin, Lauren, DJ, Tom, and Geoff, you are the White Wood Frogs!" Billy came in with an albino wood frog in a little aquarium. Lauren stiffened involuntarily for some reason.
"Cody, Sierra, Amy, Samey, Stephanie, and Sam, you are the Gray Geese!" Joseph struggled to keep an angry graylag goose gander from causing a ruckus in its carrier.
"Jo, Ennui, Crimson, Gwen, Brick, and Duncan, you are the Black Bears!" An American black bear was led in on a leash. Surprising everyone, Phil was the one walking it in.
"Dave, Beth, Max, Mike, Cameron, and Lindsay, you are the Pink Pythons!" A five-foot-long blood python lazily lifted its head, stared at the contestants (causing Lindsay to faint), and went back to sleep. Dakota was carrying the python's bowl and sheepishly grinned at her ex-teammates.
"And B, Mickey, Jacques, Alejandro, Topher, and Ryan, you are the Brown Bison!" The last animal brought in was a bull American bison, snorting crossly at the teens.
"Wait, since when were Dakota and Phil interns?" Devin asked, confused.
"Since two spots opened up that needed to be filled quickly," Chris replied. "It'll be a heckuvah thing to put on their college applications, that's for sure."
"Why couldn't that be ME?!" Topher and Sierra asked at the same time, before realizing it and staring at each other.
"Because you two are still in the game and could get an even BIGGER prize of a million dollars!" They looked much happier at that.
Confessional – Max.
"A million would only BARELY cover tuition costs for the better colleges," Max grumbled. "It's not fair that rich idiots get good educations while I'm so poor I'll be going to community college. It's one of those kinds of things that I want to change someday."
"The obstacle course will be very important because until EVERYONE completes it, these guys gotta stay together. And they DO NOT like each other." To prove his point, the alligator snarled at the boar, who oinked at her angrily in reply. "Once the obstacle course has been run through, these guys get to run free. But not for too long, because you've gotta catch them. First team to recapture their mascot and bring them to the Forked Maple wins."
"What about the obstacle course?" Sanders asked. "How bad is it?"
"Dude, you can't ask how bad it is!" MacArthur admonished her. "It might not be that hard!"
"Oh, but it IS." Chris stepped aside to reveal the course. He explained everything.
"First up, the tire walk. These guys have little surprises just waiting to getcha. Next, the four strange ropes. You have to pick between dog hair, red licorice with some conveniently-placed bees, a zapping wire, and wet. After that, the snapping bars, where a bunch of hungry baby turtles want a bite of you. Finally, Duck and Cover." Chef picked up a leech from a tub of them, placed it into a vial, and loaded it into a machine gun-looking weapon.
Sanders and MacArthur looked at each other. "Jess, I take it back, it's bad."
Red Robins: Owen, Noah, Izzy, Emma, Kitty, and Junior.
Orange Ocelots: Brady, Katie, Sadie, Lorenzo, Mary, and Scott.
Yellow Yaks: Heather, Taylor, Devin, Carrie, Miles, and Laurie.
Green Gators: Eva, Scarlett, Zeke, Sugar, Sanders, and MacArthur.
Cyan Sharks: Zoey, Leshawna, Jazz, Trent, Harold, and Dawn.
Blue Beetles: Shawn, Lightning, Sky, Jasmine, Jay, and Jen.
Purple Pigs: Bridgette, Courtney, Tyler, Beardo, Josee, and Brody.
White Wood Frogs: Ella, Justin, Lauren, DJ, Tom, and Geoff.
Gray Geese: Cody, Sierra, Amy, Sammy, Stephanie, and Sam.
Black Bears: Jo, Ennui, Crimson, Gwen, Brick, and Duncan.
Pink Pythons: Dave, Beth, Max, Mike, Cameron, and Lindsay.
Brown Bison: B, Mickey, Jacques, Alejandro, Topher, and Ryan.
"Good luck!"
The obstacle course began. It was quickly decided that each team would send up one person at a time to minimalize crowding.
Not that the first leg, the tire walk, particularly cared.
One of the first to go, Owen gently tiptoed on the edges of the tires, which was harder than it looked due to his large size. "I can do this..." Then, a boxing glove shot out from the middle of one and whacked him right in the kiwis. Owen's eyes watered. "No I can't." Then he fell over.
"Too bad, Owen, you have to go back to the start of this leg!" Chris exclaimed. "That goes for all of you, too. Fail to finish, restart!"
"Hmph. Of course those weaklings couldn't do it," Jo muttered as she became the first to cross the tire walk. "This is easy!" She went over to the strange ropes and climbed up the one made of dog hair.
"Looks like the Black Bears might have a lead!" Chris said as Jo easily climbed across the monkey bars perched precariously over a pond full of hungry baby box turtles. However, Jo's luck ran out when, as soon as she got off, she got hit in the face with a leech.
Jo cringed. "Do I have to start the WHOLE [d word] thing AGAIN?!"
"Nope, just this part. Gotta wait for the leech to finish brunch before you can resume your quest for the finish line." Jo sighed as the leech suckled.
Cue montage music.
Everyone else had their own bunch of mishaps. Because of their skinny figures, Mickey and Jay had a hard time climbing over the ropes and the snapping bars, putting both of their teams quite far behind. It was especially hard because both had chosen the wet rope, which made their hands wet and thus caused them to slip off the bars constantly. While the Blue Beetles were more forgiving (except for Lightning), the Brown Bison were not (except for B and Ryan).
Courtney rolled her eyes as Taylor and Heather tried to keep each other from crossing the tire walk (despite both being on the same team), not paying attention to where she was going. She ended up getting hit in the face with a wooden pillar that was somehow able to fit inside the tire's hole.
Duncan decided to play dirty and took a bite out of the base of the licorice rope after he'd finished climbing it. His plan to get Harold blamed for it falling failed because Harold's light weight only put a little strain on it. However, it worked when the heavier Geoff tried to climb it and it broke, sending him tumbling to the ground and landing on his alliance mates. To make things worse, it was then that the bees decided to wake up.
Brick and DJ ran around screaming like headless chickens during Duck and Cover, getting hit with at least two dozen leeches each. Ennui and Crimson simply walked through the fray of flying annelids, and when the leeches saw them their ten little eyes widened in fear and they changed direction so they wouldn't hit them.
After falling off the bars Sugar got bitten on the butt by a turtle. When she tried to get it off she only succeeded in ripping her jeans, exposing her piglet-print underwear to the camera. Everyone who'd voted for her but failed to get her eliminated took it as karma finally catching up.
"Okay, and now that DJ FINALLY stopped screaming," Chris deadpanned, before putting on his happy face, "we can actually move on to the second part: the Mascot Melee! Each team gets ONE tool to use for capturing their mascot once they've escaped." The interns handed each of them a different tool.
The Red Robins got a bag of suet.
The Orange Ocelots got a laser pointer.
The Yellow Yaks got a bridle and harness.
The Green Gators got a roll of duct tape.
The Cyan Sharks got a fishing net.
The Blue Beetles got a fire extinguisher, which made them confused.
The Purple Pigs got a tranquilizer gun.
The White Wood Frogs got a glass jar.
The Gray Geese got a bolas.
The Black Bears got a trash can.
The Pink Pythons got a dead rat (immediately causing all of them to cringe).
And the Brown Bison got a lasso.
"You can use ANY other item on the island to help you," Chris went on, "but you MUST use the item we gave you as well, and it MUST be intact or you'll be automatically disqualified. Thanks to some help from our eliminated contestants, the Cyan Sharks also get a tracking device!" Carly handed them the black device. "Oh, and Orange Ocelots, Red Robins, Phil and Dakota were supposed to win it for you guys, but failed. Sorry!" Both of them glared at Chris; he didn't notice. "Who's going to get their goat before their goat gets them? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris said to the audience. "Now that everyone's got their gear, let's release the mascots!"
Luckily, they were close to a river, so the shark was easily dropped into the water. Everything else simply fled. Except for the goose, which took the time to peck Joseph in the nipple ("AGH!") before flapping away.
"Crap, that goose is going to get far, isn't it?" Stephanie asked her team.
"Not really. Chris set up a forcefield using something he stole from Scarlett and Max's experiments," Phil replied. "Nothing can leave the island."
"Then it's settled," Cody said. "All we have to do is follow the goose until it hits the forcefield and be ready to catch it. If it tries to escape, we'll use the bolas to weigh it down."
Sierra squeed. "Cody, you're so smart!"
"Please!" Amy scoffed. "I could've come up with that plan!"
"Doesn't that imply you're not very smart?" Sammy pointed out. Amy froze while the rest of her team snickered.
"[D WORD]IT, SAMEY!"
Yellow Yaks
"A bridle! Of all the things we could've gotten!" Laurie groaned. "Animals don't deserve to be used for transport unjustly! Especially not a yak!"
"I know, this is animal cruelty!" Miles agreed.
"You do know that Chris is a sadist and it doesn't matter what species you are, right?" Heather pointed out. This shut them up. "Anyway, since I'm the best strategist here, I'll be captain."
"No way! You don't deserve to be captain!" Taylor objected. "I do! Because I'm the best at leadership! Besides, your group is literally named Heather's Devils! Why should we trust you?"
"One, not everyone here's a Christian, two, I just call my clique that to mock yours being 'Taylor's Angels', and three, if they were real devils would be smarter." This launched a massive argument, with the Vegans jumping in.
Carrie grit her teeth in frustration. "You okay, homie?" Devin asked.
"No, thank you for noticing. If these guys don't stop arguing, we'll lose the challenge! And all because they can't decide on who should be the team captain."
"Well then why don't you be the captain?"
Carrie froze. "You really think so?"
"I do! You're smarter than me, at least. Besides, considering what's happening in the world right now, a guy leading a bunch of girls would get a lotta heat."
Carrie smiled. "Thanks, homie." She hugged him, then broke the embrace and loudly screeched "EVERYONE SHUT THE [F WORD] UP!" This immediately got the other four's attention, as Carrie almost never cursed. "None of this fighting's going to get us anywhere. Since you four have demonstrated that NONE of you are mature enough to lead this team, I'm declaring myself as captain. And as I have Devin's vote, I automatically gain the position." The others were about to object, but stopped when they realized she had a point. They'd all have voted for themselves in the case of Heather and Taylor, and each other in the case of Miles and Laurie.
"Now," Carrie continued, "here's what we're going to do. Miles, Laurie, you're good with animals, so you're going to calm the yak down once we find it." They looked relieved at this. "Heather, you're good at planning, so you're going to find the quickest and easiest way to catch it without it noticing." Heather looked proud at this. "Taylor, you're good at ranting and raving, so you're going to scare off any mutant monsters we might find to protect us." Taylor took it. "Devin, you're good at noticing things, so you're going to lead the search for that freaky cow. Me, I'm going to keep you all in line. That sound alright with you guys?"
They nodded.
"Then let's go!"
Confessional – Devin.
"That's Carrie for you. She normally doesn't like being confrontational, but when she needs to be a leader, she is!" Devin said. "I'm proud to call her my best friend."
Confessional – Carrie.
"That's Devin for you. A little naive and clueless at times, but he always knows the right thing to say when he needs to. And he's always so civil and kind." She swooned. "It's the reason I fell for him, to be honest. Now if only he wasn't already dating someone at the moment..."
White Wood Frogs
"Now if I were a frog, where would I be?" Geoff asked himself.
"Well, frogs don't really like the cold that much, so probably somewhere warm," DJ pointed out. "I guess that's why Chris is doing this challenge today when it's abnormally hot for October. But even with this, it's still a little cold for an amphibian."
"So what's the hottest place on the island?"
"Climate Hall!" Ella piped up. "If it can make a wintry wonderland in late summer, it can certainly do the opposite. Follow me, I know the fastest way there!"
"She does," Lauren affirmed quietly. "We were on the same team when she did."
As the team followed her, Justin approached Lauren. "You alright?"
Lauren flinched involuntarily.
"Listen, I'm sorry I broke up with you over the phone," Justin said as he apologized for a past incident. "We were on tour, and I realized then that it wasn't working out between us. You aren't as comfortable being in the spotlight as much as I am, so I wanted to spare you from further pain." He sighed. "I only wish I could've told you then."
Lauren looked at him. "Thanks for telling me, I had some unanswered questions." She patted his shoulder. "May your next lover be as okay with fame as you."
"I hope you're right."
Green Gators
The Green Gators had the same idea, and had arrived there earlier. Their alligator, along with the python and the frog, went to Climate Hall to take in the heat. However, the alligator was still angry, and had noticed that her potential prey were also there. And she was closing in.
"Oh no!" Sanders gasped. "What are we going to do? I'm pretty sure we'll be disqualified if our mascot eats those of the other teams!"
"Eh, don't worry about it. Then we'll just get 'em 'liminated faster," Sugar shrugged.
"Sugar, that is callous and immoral," Scarlett scolded her.
"Says the one makin' our corn toxic with that GMO nonsense."
"Genetically modified food plants are perfectly harmless for most people! We've tested it several times over. And besides, domestication is genetic manipulation that we've been doing for fifty thousand years. The modern way is just a more precise version of that."
Eva knew that Sugar wasn't one to listen to reason, so she butt in. "Listen, I have the tape, and Val and I are the strongest people here. We'll just get the gator ourselves."
"Booyah! Now you're talking my language!" MacArthur beamed. Immediately she ran over to the alligator, which was closing in on the frog. She tackled her. "Feel the wrath of my glutes, you archosaur scum! Eva, tape me! But not, y'know, actually tape me." Eva threw her the tape and MacArthur quickly wrapped a section around the alligator's snout, preventing her from biting anyone. For extra safety, she taped her feet to her sides as well. "That's how we do it."
She got off the alligator and let Eva pick her up. "Okay, everyone, let's go to the Forked Maple and turn this thing in. We've got a game to win."
Pink Pythons
The Pink Pythons entered the Climate Hall a few minutes after the Green Gators left. "I hope we won't have to resort to restraining our mascot too," Beth said to her team.
"Good thing I found a suitable plastic tub for it in the kitchen," Cameron said as he carried the tub, with the dead rat in it.
They quickly found their mascot underneath the control panel. Max gently picked up the snake and set it in the tub. Noticing the smell of a meal, the python jolted awake and sank its teeth into the rat. Dave quickly fainted.
Lindsay cringed. "Why do snakes have to eat such gross things?"
"Sorry Lindsay, but snakes are exclusive carnivores," Cameron replied. "At least you weren't the one carrying the rat. Thanks for that by the way, Beth."
Beth shrugged. "I had to pick up a lot of dead rats back on the farm, so it's only natural I did." She changed her expression. "Now let's get moving! Our mascot's not too big compared to some of the others, so we should be able to beat the other teams!"
Brown Bison
"AAAAH!" Mickey shrieked as the bison chased him.
"Ready...ready...¡ahora!" Alejandro commanded Ryan, who threw the lasso around the bison's head. He successfully got him.
But a bull bison is still a very strong, very heavy animal, so he simply pulled Ryan along with him. "Wagh!"
Alejandro sighed and massaged his temples. "Soy rodeado por idiotas."
Cyan Sharks
"So what's with the shark? I thought Chris got rid of them all after the first challenge," Trent said. His team had found a boat on the docks and were driving it to where the tracker said the shark was. As Harold had been to Master Steve's Boating Camp, he was the one piloting.
"They didn't get them all, apparently," Leshawna replied. "I talked to Phil while we were getting the boat ready so I could check on how ev'ryone's doing. One of the sharks was left behind, and was found a few days ago. They call 'im Fang. Apparently the nuclear waste made him super smart."
"It also seems to have altered the color of his hide," Harold called from up front. "Bull sharks don't come in baby blue naturally."
"And I fear it may make him quite dangerous, for all of us," Dawn murmured to herself.
Suddenly, Trent saw something on the tracker. "He's coming! Quick, get the net!"
Blue Beetles
"What are we supposed to do with this thing?" Jay asked, pointing the fire extinguisher at his face and accidentally pressing down.
"Not playing with it, for starters," Jasmine deadpanned while Jay wiped the foam off his face.
A burst of flame silenced them. They looked up to see the beetle flying around. Breathing fire. They screamed.
"I think we know what the fire extinguisher's for!" Sky exclaimed. "Quick, Jay!"
Jay complied and sprayed the beetle right in its mouth. The fire-making ability was quickly stopped. As was the beetle, now trapped in a mound of foam, an exposed leg twitching to let them know it was still alive.
Red Robins
"Want some food?" Junior asked. He'd climbed a tree and was holding the pack of suet in front of him. The robin was dumb, and did not notice. "Oh, come on, you stupid – whoa!" He fell out of the tree. Luckily, Kitty caught him.
Owen got smacked on the head with the bag of suet. It slid down his face, leaving behind a trail of grease. He licked his lips, then bore a face of understanding. "So that's what I taste like. Huh."
Purple Pigs
The boar roared as it chased after them. "I thought we tranquilized it!" Tyler shrieked.
"We did! They must've expired or something!" Bridgette hollered back.
Suddenly, the boar caught up and began beating them up, and Beardo shouted the obligatory Wilhelm Scream as it did.
Black Bears
"Finally, a use for that nasty food," Crimson said monotonously. They'd filled their trash can with Chef's cooking to use as bait. Duncan, as the designated hunter, had a bunch of ropes ready to tie up the bear.
"Should we play dead if it tries to attack us?" Brick asked.
"No, that's brown bears," Gwen corrected him. "Black bears need to be fought back. But I think Duncan can handle that if it comes to it." Duncan heard this and smiled, blushing a little.
Orange Ocelots
"Here, kitty kitty!" The ocelot heard Katie's voice and turned around, seeing its old nemesis the red dot. It followed the dot into a cat carrier.
"Well, that was easy," Lorenzo mused as he closed the latch to the carrier.
Eventually, everyone had their mascots at the base of the Forked Maple. "Chris, you promised us we'd get a breather challenge!" Courtney barked. She was quite unhappy, as the numerous scrapes and scratches from the boar could tell you.
"You did. You needed to breathe a lot to complete the challenge." Courtney growled before sighing sadly.
"A classic McLean ambiguous syntax, nicely done!" Topher complimented the host.
"Thanks! Wish I could say the same for your team, though. The Brown Bison got Asterius here after everyone else, so they lose today's game." The Brown Bison groaned, while their Minotaur-named mascot grazed obliviously. "Meanwhile, our winning team is the Pink Pythons, because they got the danger noodle back here the earliest." The Pink Pythons cheered. "Meet me at the campfire at eight, Brown Bison, someone's going back to the prairie!"
Guy's Alliance
"So who should we vote for?" Ryan asked Alejandro.
Alejandro knew that B and Mickey were both in the Misfit Mega-alliance. But B was intelligent, and...useful to keep around for the time being. Mickey, meanwhile, was not, and his elimination would mean another blow to his enemy's power.
"Mickey. He and his brother are bad luck magnets. They said so themselves. I don't want them attracting any more misfortune to ourselves and to our friends."
"Sounds good to me."
Confessional – Mickey.
"I think I'm gonna go home, because I didn't do so well today," Mickey explained. "But B told me, or rather, wrote me, that Noah wants Alejandro to know that he's not invincible." He wrote ALEJANDRO on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"I don't actually believe in bad luck," Alejandro chuckled, writing MICKEY on a piece of paper, "but others are foolish enough to. Now that this will be taken care of...I may need to 'discipline' Devin. His devotion to Carrie, who is no doubt part of Noah's little alliance, may cost us in the future."
Confessional – Topher.
"Okay, so get this. I think Alejandro and Mickey are both at risk here today," Topher began, "but I want to create a little suspense." He chuckled as he wrote B on a piece of paper. "Heh, his name's pretty easy to spell. I wonder what it stands for."
Confessional – Jacques.
"I am not happy," Jacques said bluntly. "And that wire boy is the reason." He wrote MICKEY on a piece of paper and scowled at the camera.
"Here's how we perform our eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Six marshmallows sat on the plate, half of them colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got so no drama is obstructed. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Jacques, Topher, and Ryan."
Chris pointed to the lone blue marshmallow. "Blue means you received only one vote against you, and that would be B." Alejandro looked a little nervous; his plan may not have worked.
"Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. However, the team's too small for that today." Two colored marshmallows were left. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you're gone. Mickey. Alejandro."
The two looked at him. Mickey gulped.
"Mickey, you've injured a lot of people, including yourself, and we don't want that. Alejandro, you're an excellent strategist, and others don't want that. With only one more vote for him...
...
...
...
...
"Well, it's no surprise. It's Mickey!"
Alejandro sighed in relief. He'd counted on Jacques, who hated the Misfits as much as he did, to vote for the unlucky boy.
"At least I got sent out before I could trigger any of my allergies," Mickey said, trying to be optimistic.
"Yeah, good thing indeed. I do NOT wanna get in legal trouble if you die."
Confessional – Gwen.
"I haven't had a chance to use my idol yet," Gwen said. "I'm just...waiting for the right moment. But when I have it, I'll use it to get Heather to do what I want for once."
First Intern Confessional – Dakota and Phil.
"I hate this!" Dakota groaned.
"I know! Underpaid, overworked, and dealing with mutant wildlife beyond our control!" Phil agreed. Asking the audience, "Do you KNOW how much trouble we went through to capture Fang? I swear, it's like he's sentient or something!"
Confessional – Kitty.
"I'm so excited! I saw Noah and Emma's conversation today, and I can tell when someone likes someone else." She grinned. "They don't know it yet, but they're in loooove. And I think it's high time Emma got herself a new man."
Chris stood at the base of the Forked Maple, the mascots behind him. "Thirteen down. Seventy-one remain. Who's going to find their niche at the top and who'll stay at the bottom of the food chain? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Then the boar randomly began to chase after him. Chris screamed. "CHEF HELP ME THE BOAR'S AFTER ME!"
"On it, Pretty Boy! Pig, one false move and the kids are getting bacon for breakfast tomorrow!" Chef drew his cleaver and gave chase.
Votes:
B – Alejandro
Mickey – Alejandro
Jacques – Mickey
Alejandro – Mickey
Topher – B
Ryan – Mickey
Results: 3-2-1 Mickey-Alejandro-B
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Owen, Carrie (Noah), Heather (Gwen)
Future eliminations immunized against: Noah (3)
As soon as everyone was asleep, Fang knocked over his tank. He spilled out, the water quickly disappearing. But then he began to suffocate...
A nuclear glow briefly came from his chest. Soon, Fang righted himself and became the first cartilaginous fish in world history to breathe air.
Slowly, Fang began to shuffle himself along the forest floor, bent on getting into the river.
So he could get back to the lake and make a plan on how to get those tasty, succulent, grass-fed monkeys.