Review time!
Lara 2244: Thanks! I always saw Jay as the more mature of the two, so that's why I kept him. His brother's elimination will cause some important character development for both of them. Yep, the Nemma is coming – soon!
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! I wanted everyone to be involved so I could give a little development for them all. When I first came across the Ridonculous Race I immediately thought "Wow, if Taylor and Heather met they'd be at each other's throats constantly!" And thus their rivalry was born. As soon as I wrote Chris telling Courtney the next challenge would be a breather, I immediately realized he'd be the kind of guy to twist that around for his own amusement. So there you go.
StarHeart Specials: Thanks! I doubt I'll be able to finish another twenty chapters by next week, as I have other work and fanfictions to attend to, but I hope you like this one! Yes, this writer does something many others don't – research and spellchecking! (I'm still going through all the typos in the earlier chapters.)
Guest: ...SERIOUSLY?! Do I have to ban you? Because that's how you get bans!
Thursday, October 19, 2017
"Last time on Total Drama – we had a beast of a time! [The mascots being brought in] Our challenge last Monday was a twofer. First, an arduous obstacle course! [Sugar getting bitten on the butt by a baby turtle] Then, we chased the Rainbow Teams' mascots all around the island! [The Cyan Sharks going after Fang] The kids had their little disagreements [Taylor and Heather arguing] but eventually, the Pink Pythons [the python eating the dead rat] came to the Forked Maple first. Meanwhile, the all-male Brown Bison [Ryan getting dragged away by their mascot] entered last, so they voted out weak link Mickey. [Mickey's elimination] And if that's not going to be enough of a shake-up for the Misfit Mega-alliance..." [Kitty noticing her sister and Noah were slowly falling in love]
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Seventy-one contestants remain. Who will ride their way to the finish and who will tire out? Find out in today's episode of
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a passing Harold in the groin. Duncan and Jacques laughed at him.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the island, passing Chris on a beach chair getting massaged by an intern, Dawn meditating with Zoey, Brady and Beth on a rope swing together, Leonard and Tammy casting "spells" while Ella watched, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Chet and Lorenzo fighting to the disapproval of Ellody and Mary.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the animals. That is, until a mutant gopher showed up. They screamed and ran away. Pan to Scott, Lightning, and Jo, who'd disrupted the session with the gopher. They high-fived.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on a rubber raft. The raft fell off a waterfall, taking them with it. Bridgette, Geoff, and Brody watched.
*Instrumental*
The three girls found Owen underwater. Owen farted, sending the rivals and more than a few dead fish to the surface. Above, Zeke, Mike, and Rodney were fishing in a little boat when the lake became littered with fish and three teenage girls. Zeke grabbed one of the dead fish and triumphantly held it over his head, while Rodney began checking out Taylor's rear.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
At one of the beaches, Katie and Sadie admired Justin. Behind them, Justin's ex Lauren sighed sadly. On the other side of the beach, Izzy, wearing a spider costume, was chasing Cameron, Dakota, and Sam for no apparent reason.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was cooking some disgusting green slop in the cafeteria. Kitty and Junior looked at each other, frightened of what was to come. Behind them sat Tyler, Leshawna, Ryan, both of the Jasmines (looking at each other, very confused), Lindsay, Mickey and Jay, and Shawn. Dave obsessively cleaned the tables, while B looked on.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sierra had Cody in a headlock out of love. Amy had Sammy in one out of hate. Cody and Sammy looked at each other and sighed.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Rock and Spud air-guitared. Courtney and Gwen looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they saw Trent jamming with them. He stopped and smiled sheepishly at the girls.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Carrie and Devin sat together on the dock, watching Tom, Jen, and Anne Maria compare fashion tips. Then the dock gave out under them, sending them into the water. It turned out Alejandro had been responsible. He grinned evilly at the camera.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher cockily smiled at Eva, who decked him in response. Behind them, Scarlett and Max passed through a field of lustblossoms, and suddenly began making out.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and then Sugar interrupted the moment by appearing between them. Angry, Emma started chasing Sugar around the camp to the amusement of the others, while Noah stared apathetically at the camera.
Communal Washrooms
"DJ, what's hangin'?" Cody asked as DJ entered. He'd gone into the communal washrooms for a quick shower, and was behind the wooden door of one of the stalls.
"Not much, man. I can't believe we actually got to work with animals for once!"
"I take it you liked it, then?"
"Well, not the first part. I'm still hurting from that obstacle course. That's why I'm here, so I can get some hot water to loosen me up."
"Gotcha." Then he noticed something else. "Funny, you're wearing swim trunks in the shower."
"Yeah, well, Momma always told me that some things should stay private, and I've always been a little shy about being in a public shower anyway," DJ explained as he entered the stall next to the Slick Geek.
Cody shrugged. "You do you, dude. Me, I prefer to be in the buff."
Suddenly, a massive thump! was heard. "What was that?"
"I dunno, man," DJ replied, a bit nervous. That's when they noticed a towering, purple-furred humanoid creature occupying the stall next to them.
"Ruh?" the ape asked.
"THERE'S A BIGFOOT IN THE SHOWER!" DJ screamed as he fled.
"DJ, there's no such thing as Bigfoot, that myth was inspired by bears," Sam said, trying to calm him down. The rest of the kids were nearby, as the mess hall wasn't too far from the washrooms.
"Sam, there's mutant everything on this island," Eva reminded him. "A giant forest man would be the least weirdest thing to be made by that." Sam realized this and nodded thoughtfully.
"He's right, I saw it too!" Cody exclaimed. It was then that he remembered that he, unlike DJ, was completely naked, his crotch pixellated for the camera. Embarrassed, he tried to cover himself up with his hands. His nudity sparked various reactions among his classmates.
Confessional – Jacques and Josee.
They laughed so hard they fell off the toilet.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"Cody needs to go," Alejandro said curtly. "Not for any particular reason, just that he's both part of a relatively large alliance and is quite popular."
Confessional – Heather.
"Oh, there's a particular reason, all right," Heather chuckled. "Because it looks like Cody's perfect in the one place my serpentine Spanish hotshot isn't."
Confessional – Sierra.
"Naked Cody!" Sierra drooled. "My life is complete." She fainted happily.
Confessional – Sammy.
"Oh, wow...I never thought I'd say this, but Cody's actually really hot," Sammy said, lightly blushing. Then she realized what she was saying and clasped her face. "Oh my god. What's wrong with me?!"
Confessional – Noah.
Noah threw up in the toilet. "There are times in your life when you know what your sexuality is," he groaned. "And this one reminded me that I am straight." He gagged. "Bleagh..."
An hour later
The kids were in the Drama Arena. This destination consisted of an enormous set of bleachers opposite a massive screen with a track and a field separating the two. It was covered by a tall roof, which had Chris' face painted on the top.
"Okay, I'll try to have someone investigate whatever was seen in the washrooms," Chris said. "But for now, it's challenge time, kiddies! Say, do any of you want another art challenge?"
"I do!" Tom piped up.
"Then you're in luck, because we're going to be making the art of the machine. That's right, today you're building your own bikes!"
He explained himself. "You'll be broken into five teams of fourteen. Yes, I know seventy-one is a prime number, Harold, I'll explain that later. You'll be sent to the Crafts Theater, where several boxes of bike parts await you. Then, you'll build them up and have them evaluated by Chef, who'll be comparing your rides to his."
Chef wheeled in a vintage motorcycle, light gray with red trim. Everyone oohed and ahed.
"Yours probably won't be a motorbike unless you have B on your team. After Chef's given you a score of at least 50% as good as his own, you'll move on to the race. You must race from the Crafts Theater to Climate Hall to Five-Larch Point and then finish here. But of course, there'll be a few surprises along the way." He chuckled darkly.
"The rules are simple. Your bike must be strong enough to hold up Owen, the heaviest person here, who will be evaluating its durability. Because Owen is a test dummy–"
"And an actual one, too," Sugar interjected, unaware of the irony of her statement.
"–he's automatically immune and will not be participating in the challenge. Any vote for him will land you an automatic elimination. The person riding each team's bike will be selected at random: you'll do the same thing as you do in elimination, just for the opposite reason. When everyone's voted, Dakota will pick your team's rider at random from your helmets.
"Speaking of which, the teams. Izzy, Gwen, Heather, Bridgette, MacArthur, Courtney, Amy, Samey, Lindsay, Jen, Leshawna, Jo, Eva, and Kitty, you are the Adventurous Athenas!"
"I don't think most of us fall in that weight class," Eva commented.
"I know, I just needed a good name for an all-girls team. For our second team, I'll need Brick, Scarlett, Lightning, Sugar, Miles, Laurie, Alejandro, Brady, Ryan, Duncan, DJ, Justin, Jazz, and Jasmine. You are the Commanding Commuters!
"Up next, Mike, Lorenzo, Taylor, Junior, Trent, Dawn, Beardo, Jacques, Josee, Ennui, Stephanie, Sky, Sanders, and B, you are the Fantastic Fixies!"
"What's a fixie?" Sadie asked.
"A fixed-gear bike. Only one gear," Trent explained.
"Ohhhh."
"Then we have Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Carrie, Devin, Zoey, Tom, Topher, Ella, Mary, Emma, Noah, Cody, and Dave. You are the Perfect Pelotons!"
"What's a peloton?" Brody asked.
"It's the pack, brah! A super tight-knit group of dudes looking out for each other," Geoff explained.
"Oh! So we're all pelotons, then!"
"Not you two," Chris grinned evilly. "Everyone I didn't call are...the Repulsive Roadies. Now go to your separate centers and build your bikes!"
Confessional – Cameron.
"I think the running gag of the last team getting a bad name has gone too far," Cameron said nervously. "I don't like it."
Adventurous Athenas: Izzy, Gwen, Heather, Bridgette, MacArthur, Courtney, Amy, Sammy, Lindsay, Jen, Leshawna, Jo, Eva, and Kitty.
Commanding Commuters: Brick, Scarlett, Lightning, Sugar, Miles, Laurie, Alejandro, Brady, Ryan, Duncan, DJ, Justin, Jazz, and Jasmine.
Fantastic Fixies: Mike, Lorenzo, Taylor, Junior, Trent, Dawn, Beardo, Jacques, Josee, Ennui, Stephanie, Sky, Sanders, and B.
Perfect Pelotons: Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Carrie, Devin, Zoey, Tom, Topher, Ella, Mary, Emma, Noah, Cody, and Dave.
Repulsive Roadies: Scott, Zeke, Harold, Shawn, Jay, Tyler, Brody, Lauren, Geoff, Sam, Crimson, Beth, Max, and Cameron.
Test Dummy: Owen (automatically immune).
Fantastic Fixies
"I think we can all agree on who's building this," Sanders said to her team. Everyone nodded and looked at B, who was unpacking his tools as they spoke.
"But I think we all need to give him some input," Lorenzo continued. "Any suggestions you have, give them to him and he'll try to work them in. Right, B?"
B gave him a thumbs-up. Then he made a motion with his hand, meaning Lorenzo should start. "Oh! You want my suggestion. Well, I think we should probably go with like, a dragon theme or something, 'cuz our name means we're coming from a fantasy."
"Yeah, dragon sounds great!" Junior agreed. "Make it spiky, but not too spiky."
"A little ghastly would be nice," Ennui put in emotionlessly.
Everyone gave him their suggestions. Throughout it all, B was writing them all down with a smile.
Confessional – B.
It's so nice to be appreciated, he wrote.
Adventurous Athenas
Appreciation was not something Gwen was getting right now. Let me elaborate on this. Heather was commandeering the team without putting her fair share of the work in. And Gwen was proper miffed.
"Heather, could you get that box of chains from over there?" Gwen asked. "We need to figure out which one's going to be sturdy enough to withstand Owen's leg strength."
"Why, can't get it yourself?" Heather asked.
"No, not really." Gwen was carrying five massive boxes and couldn't even see in front of her.
"I'll take a box off ya, pasty," Leshawna volunteered.
"Thanks." Leshawna took the box from the top of the stack and returned to where the bike prototypes were being assembled, glaring at Heather as she did.
"See, your hands are less full now."
"Not really, and besides, my arms are getting sore." Gwen set the stack down and rubbed her forearms, wincing as she did. "Sheesh."
"Break time's over, goth girl. Now get back to it!"
Gwen glared at her sworn enemy. "Even Amy's not this cruel to her sister, though I suppose she's attempting to one-up her instead."
"EAT THIS, SAMEY!" Amy roared as she carried two boxes much bigger than she was. Reality promptly ensued and knocked Amy on her back, burying her in boxes. Sammy facepalmed.
"Thus proving my point," Gwen snarked as they watched the chaos unfold.
Heather scoffed. "You're not the boss of me!"
Something inside the Snarky Goth snapped. "I think I am, actually."
"And what makes you say that?"
"I have your immunity idol." Heather froze. "Yessir, I have a guaranteed one-way ticket for you out of this game and out of historical relevance. And I'm not telling you where it is. If you don't do as I say, you're outta here."
"You couldn't possibly. Immunity idols are invalid if no one votes for me."
"Yes, but if you even get one vote, they'll work," Courtney, who was passing by with the box Heather was supposed to have gotten, pointed out. "And there's nothing stopping Gwen from voting for you."
Heather realized this and quietly picked up one of Gwen's boxes.
Confessional – Courtney.
"Personally, I think it's in Heather's best interests if she and Gwen get over their stupid argument already. Besides, if they do, then that means the Field Alliance might get another member and if that happens, we'll be stronger." Courtney shrugged. "I wouldn't mind bringing Gwen to the final ten, that's for sure."
Confessional – Gwen.
"I feel so...empowered," Gwen said, in awe of herself. "But I shouldn't let it go to my head. Turning out like Jacques and Josee is the last thing I need."
"Looks like Gwen's shaking things up!" Chris chuckled. "Will she or won't she throw out Public Gwenemy Number One? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris said to the audience. "It's now two o'clock, and it's time we unveil the bikes!"
Chef plodded over to a stump and sat down. "Get ready, Mega Mouth," he said to Owen, who was wearing a full set of safety gear.
"Uh, okay, Mr. Chef," Owen gulped.
"Athenas! You're up first."
Bridgette wheeled their bike in. It, like all the bikes, had very thick pipes making up its frame. The wheels were pretty standard, but the handlebars looked quite elegant. The bike was silver, the team's color, with their logo perched on the back as a flag, as all of the bikes did. For the Athenas, their logo was a visage of the Greek goddess of wisdom herself.
Owen sat down and was immediately in discomfort. "This seat cushion feels weird," he said.
"Sorry, all-girls team," Eva replied.
"Ah." He pedaled it for a bit. "It's nice and smooth. I'd rather the seat be different, but I like it otherwise. Mr. Chef?"
"Meh, a little dull, but it holds up and the handlebars make it stand out. Sixty."
Confessional – Lindsay.
"Yay, we don't have to work on it anymore!" Lindsay exclaimed, happily clapping. Then she grimaced. "My hands got like, sooooo chapped!"
"Commuters! Your turn."
Brick wheeled it in. Their bike was green and looked like a European design for a massive race, with solid, plastic-looking wheels. Their logo was a person crossing the street.
"Oooh, European-y. Scarlett, did you design this one?"
"I did indeed," Scarlett beamed.
"Do not think we did not help either," Alejandro said courteously.
"Oh, of course not, Al!" Alejandro's eye twitched as Owen tried out the bike. "This one can get really fast really quick! But a bit light, I don't wanna break it. Mr. Chef?"
"I'm mostly impressed that you made this out of the crap parts we gave you," Chef said. "Eighty-two."
"Eighty-two? Why not a hundrid?" Sugar asked her team.
"Because Chef has high standards. Besides, eighty-two is still a majority. We're safe," Alejandro replied.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"That girl," he groaned, "gets on my last nerve. I think this may be my best chance to get rid of her. Assuming, of course, that we fail, which we won't if I'm the one chosen to ride."
"Fixies, you're up!"
The Fixie bike was by far the best. It was motorized and covered in protective purple plating made to resemble a roaring, skeletal dragon. In fact, it was so heavy it needed an additional axle attached to the hind wheel for it to stand upright. The logo, a sparkling hammer, did not hang from a flag, but was rather emblazoned on the front covering, forming a tattoo on the dragon's head.
"Wow!" Owen gasped. "Wait, how do I use this thing?"
"Same way as a go-cart," Sanders replied. "That was my idea, we all helped in designing this."
Owen turned it on and tested it out. "This is a really good bike! And I like that it's my size."
"Well, B and you have similar dimensions, so we used him to estimate," Dawn said. "No offense to either of you." B swept his hand out to tell her he was alright with it.
"Mr. Chef?"
"Ninety-seven. My bike and I've been through a lot together, so I can't give you a perfect score. Sentimentality and all that useless stuff."
"We understand, your bike's pretty cool," Trent admitted.
"Thanks, maggot. Now clear out so the next team can show me theirs!"
"WHAT?! They shouldn't've won! It's not a bike, it's got four wheels!" Sugar exclaimed.
"Sugar, they've got a clear advantage over us with B. There's no way we could've topped them," Jazz replied curtly. "Besides, they had no choice. That thing's so big they needed to give it extra support."
"Jazz is right," Scarlett agreed. "Obviously they used the training wheels provided for all of us." Angry, Sugar stormed off.
Confessional – Lorenzo.
"All right!" Lorenzo whooped, punching the air. "We've got the highest score out of anyone for sure! That's probably gonna net us a HUGE advantage! I'm so proud of my team."
Confessional – Sugar.
"No one talks back to me and gets away with it," she muttered, the tiny cogs in her mind clunking along...
"Peletons!"
The fourth bike looked rickety and frail, made of thin metal all around. That said, it also had a basket on the back end, which might reduce its speed but would earn brownie points (which he'd then eat) from Owen. The bike was painted blood red, with the snarling face of a wolf as their logo.
"A basket for nom-noms? Oh boy, I'm liking this already!" Owen sat on it. Surprisingly, it didn't crumple. "It's holding me up really well, too." He pedaled it forward about ten feet before stopping.
"Thank goodness Cody and Mary took both levels of engineering already," Dave commented.
"Mr. Chef?"
"Seventy-three. Kinda boring, but you got it to hold up Mega Mouth, so I'll give you that."
Confessional – Zoey.
"Yeah, I wish it were better," Zoey began, "but the boxes we were given didn't have anything...sturdy in them. I know it's probably just random assortment, but some part of me thinks it's deliberate." She paused. "No, that's just me being dumb. It's chance, not deliberation."
Zoey didn't realize this, and wouldn't for a while until after she was eliminated, but her instincts were right on the money.
"And last but not least, the Roadies!"
The final team had given in to their inferior superlative and made their bike live up to its name. It was a putrid yellow-brown, adorned with melted crayons to give it an even more vomitic look. The seat was ragged, the handlebar coverings torn, the chains thick and spiky. Their logo was a disgusted-face emoji.
"It looks like oatmeal mixed with glue," Owen commented. He sat on it and tested it out. "It's not very comfy on the tush, but the ripped covers give me a good grip. Mr. Chef?"
"Sixty-three. Ditto what he said."
Confessional – Harold.
"I'm like, not really surprised that we didn't do so well," Harold stated, "but I'm more glad we're safe. Hopefully I'm the one picked so I can show off my mad biking skillz."
"Yeah, at falling on your face!" Duncan cackled from outside.
"This is my confessional, not yours! Idiot!"
"And now that you've all passed, it's time to see who gets to ride," Chris said. "Dakota, get the helmets! When she picks one of you, she'll empty it and put it on your head to make it a special little crowning ceremony."
She did, the former camper bringing in the color-coded helmets filled with papers. She began with the Athenas, ruffling through the papers before dumping them and walking towards the chosen biker. Dakota repeated this process with the other four helmets.
"Izzy." Izzy cackled like mad once her helmet was on.
"Jazz." Jazz looked a little nervous. Alejandro was a bit disappointed it wasn't him, but Jazz wasn't the worst on his team, so he at least had that going for him.
"B." The Silent Inventor smirked. He'd built his team's bike, so having him as the rider increased their likelihood of winning dramatically. Unbeknownst to him, Chris frowned when he heard a Misfit was probably going to be victorious.
"Cody." Cody grinned. Perhaps this would let him recover the dignity he'd lost that morning.
"Geoff." Geoff thumped his chest proudly.
"We have our bikers, so you guys should report to the Drama Arena to catch up on the action. You guys head on over to the Crafts Theater while the interns set up the surprises. Then we can start the race!"
Race
The five racers came up to the starting line. "I just wanna say, may the best person win," Jazz said courteously to her teammates.
"You too!" Cody replied cheerfully.
Drama Arena
"Why's he talking to her?!" Sierra shrieked.
"Easy, Sierra, he's just being nice. Sheesh, there's no need to go full-on yandere," Emma grunted.
Immediately Sierra calmed down. "Sorry, I just get a little worried." She changed the subject. "I wonder what advantage B will get. His team won the first challenge, so they've got to get at least something."
Race
"That he does, Sierra!" Chris said from the starting line. "Since his team got the highest score from Chef, he's going to get a one-minute headstart! B, start your engine!"
B did, revving up his bike before it shot out and out of sight.
Drama Arena
"Yeah B!" Owen cheered.
"You seem happy," Noah commented. "Would you cheer for my team?"
"I'm gonna cheer for all of them. I don't have a team of my own, so why not?"
"Fair enough." They sat in silence.
"So, any of the girls here catch your fancy?" Owen asked suddenly.
"...What."
"You know, are you looking for a girlfriend?" Owen wiggled his eyebrows deviously. Or, rather, he tried to.
"Owen, I understand you and Izzy have an open relationship, but in this situation the best solution is clearly not a threesome."
"No, little buddy! I'm talking about someone else: Emma!"
"Yeah, eh, we knoo how ya loook at her!" Zeke joined in, grinning. "We know yoo like them smart girls who are jus' a tad mean when they hafta be."
"I agree, I can see the seeds of true love just waiting to grow," Ella agreed, clasping her hands wistfully and sighing dreamily.
Noah groaned. "Seriously, guys?"
Race
"Minute's up. You guys can go now," Chris said to the other racers.
"About time!" Izzy said. She immediately began pedaling and zipped off. "YE-HAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Come on, come on, work with me legs!" Cody groaned. He was the least athletic of the five riders, so he struggled more than they did.
He got a little further when a sudden KA-BOOM! threw him into the air and landed him next to Geoff. "Fancy seeing you here, dude," Geoff commented.
"Geoff, be careful! There are mines here!"
"Mimes? Well then it's a good thing Trent's not here." It was then that Geoff rolled over such a mine and was blown into the air. "Oh, you said mines! That makes more sense. AAAAH!"
The next part wasn't shown on the TV screen in the arena. As Cody wheeled off, Geoff noticed that an immunity idol buried right next to the mine had been shot up next to him. Geoff quickly grabbed it, noticed it was his own, and quickly stuffed it into his back pants pocket.
Drama Arena
"WHAT?!" Courtney shrieked. "MINES? That could've killed them! Or at the very least blown off their feet!"
"Relax, Courtney," Phil, who was cleaning up the bleachers, told her. "They're not really mines. They're pressure-sensitive air cannons designed to do the same thing without hurting anyone. Well, until they hit the ground." He sighed. "I don't like it either, make no mistake. But according to Chris, pain sells."
"It does!" Chris agreed, popping up behind them.
Courtney freaked out and fell over. "DAAAH HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE."
Race
B had the advantage of a head start...that is, until his bike fell into a mud pit. He sighed and began to pull it out.
As he did, Jazz passed him. "Hi B, bye B!"
Realizing he had to work fast, he began pulling harder.
Drama Arena
Kitty approached her sister. "Heyyy, Emma."
"Kitty, what do you want?"
"Oh, it's not what I want. It's what you do. Because I know for a fact there's someone you want to be with."
"No, you can't. And I'm not looking for a new boyfriend. Besides, who'd want to date me?" She said that last part with a bit of sadness.
"Y'know, short, not much taller than you. Apathetic brown eyes. IQ of 180. Built like a stick." Emma growled and quickly stormed off. Kitty sighed at this display. "Em, you know I'm right..."
Confessional – Emma.
"I don't know what's gotten into Kitty," Emma began, agitated,
Confessional – Noah.
"What Owen and the others are trying to do, I don't know why they're doing it," Noah started, cross, as clips from his and Emma's confessionals began to switch out for each other's,
Confessional – Emma.
"But I DO NOT have a crush on Noah."
Confessional – Noah.
"It doesn't change the fact that I don't have a thing for Emma."
Confessional – Emma.
"And why don't I have a crush on him? Because he's asocial, snobby, doesn't seem to be motivated,"
Confessional – Noah.
"She's uptight, domineering, probably has a hidden agenda,"
Confessional – Emma.
"Crude,"
Confessional – Noah.
"A real stick-in-the-mud,"
Confessional – Emma.
"Caring," she continued, not noticing she was now complimenting him,
Confessional – Noah.
"Daring," he added, not noticing he was doing the same,
Confessional – Emma.
"Funny, bold,"
Confessional – Noah.
"Sweet in her own way, responsible,"
Confessionals – Emma and Noah.
Now the final clips from both confessionals were playing side by side.
"Mature, intelligent...cute," they said in their own, separate confessionals as they were drawn together to a single conclusion: they were useless dorks in love. Their eyes widened when they individually realized this and said this about it:
"Uh-oh."
Race
"Aw, come on! An oil slick? Seriously?" Jazz groaned after wiping out on the hidden grease patch. She suddenly hissed, clamping down on a sudden pain in her right thigh.
"Yeah," Geoff agreed, narrowly swerving to avoid her fate. "Guess Chef's cooking really does generate that much grease. Wouldn't surprise me if we had to eat it at some point."
Confessional – Chris.
"Oh, you'll be eating it all right..." Chris chuckled evilly.
Cody panted. "Must...not...get...last place. Need...dignity back." The race had taken its toll on him, and he'd barely reached the larches.
Which was when yet another pseudo-mine fired him much, much higher than he'd ever been. He landed roughly, but surprisingly his bike held up. Then again, it WAS meant to withstand the nearly-300-pound Owen jostling it, so it made a little sense.
It was then that he realized he was in the lead now. "All right! Legs, don't fail me now!" Bristling with determination, he pedaled furiously.
Drama Arena
"You okay?" Sanders asked Jay.
"I miss my brother," Jay replied, sighing. "But I have to stay strong. For him."
She smiled and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, I have no doubts that he'll be cheering for you."
"Speaking of cheering, look everybody!" Katie exclaimed, drawing everyone's attention. With a heave and a grunt, Cody wheeled his bike over the finish line before collapsing.
"And with that, Cody wins the race for the Perfect Peletons!" Chris announced as red confetti shot out into the air.
"I am NOT looking forward to cleaning this up," Dakota grumbled as she was covered in the paper shreds.
"Codykins! You did it!" Sierra exclaimed, picking her crush up like a trophy.
"Thanks...need...water."
"I've got you, buddy," Tom said, pulling out the latest apple-flavored off-brand Gatorade and giving it to him. Cody thirstily downed the drink to replenish the water and salt he'd lost from sweating.
Not long after, B, his bike covered in dirt, crossed. "B is in second place!"
"Sorry we didn't win," Sky apologized.
It's okay, B wrote in the ground with a stick he'd found. Silver's still a precious metal.
"Not as precious as GOLD," Jacques grumbled.
"I officially hate mud," Josee agreed, equally mad.
At least it wasn't bronze.
Bronze went to someone else. About six minutes after B's arrival, Izzy crossed the finish line. She was a bit bruised (she'd gone out of her way to find as many of the pseudo-mines as she possibly could), but still giddy. "Did I win?"
"Nope, not really. Izzy, you're in third."
She shrugged. "Eh, at least I had fun. Though the mines could've used a little more fire..."
"Izzy, NO," Courtney admonished.
"Izzy YES."
"Well, it looks like you're safe for now," Gwen said to Heather. "But there'll be a time when you aren't. Understood?"
Heather sighed. "...Yes."
As she left, Leshawna rumpled Gwen's hair affectionately. "Way to put her in her place, Gwen!"
"Thanks. I think this might be the start of something wonderful."
"Geoff, fourth place," Chris said about two minutes later.
Geoff shrugged. "I've done worse, man. I'm just glad I don't have to vote for my friends."
"Which it looks like we might be doing," Ryan commented. Jazz wearily crossed the finish line as he said that. "Jazz, what happened?"
"I came across the oil slick and fell. My leg got hurt so I couldn't pedal as fast," Jazz replied apologetically. She winced as she got off her bike.
"Not to worry, Jazz, the next challenge is VR so you can rest up," Chris said. "Assuming you survive tonight, of course. Since you came in last, your team loses. Meet me at the campfire at eight, Commanding Commuters, someone's gonna be forced into retirement!"
Guy's Alliance
"This is a chance we may never have again," Alejandro told his alliance-mates who were on the same team as him as they walked together. "Sugar's not in a good position. She never has been, but I think everyone but her agrees it's time we let her go."
"Alright!" Duncan sighed. "Finally, we don't have to listen to her yak about that redneck crap anymore."
"Yeah, Sugar's too mean even for me!" Brady agreed.
Perfect Peletons
"Noah?" Ella asked. Noah turned his head to see Ella carrying an immunity idol with JUSTIN written on the back. "I found this underneath the bleachers. What should I do?"
"Hide it," Noah replied quickly. "That way, no one else can use it to throw Justin out. Or worse, force him to do their bidding." Sure, Justin was a bit of a narcissist, but he knew from Cody that he was alright once you got to know him. "Thanks for telling me, though. I'll make sure no one finds out." He sighed.
"Something the matter?"
Noah looked at her. "Promise not to tell?" Ella nodded. He took a deep breath and said:
"You're right. I'm in love with Emma."
Ella gasped, squeed, and hugged Noah happily. "Oh, Noah!"
"I said Emma, not you. Get off me!"
"Oh, sorry," Ella giggled nervously, breaking the hug.
Then she looked at him and smiled. "I'm so proud of you."
Confessional – Laurie.
"It's Sugar for sure," Laurie growled, writing SUGAR on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Duncan.
"Sugar," Duncan said nonchalantly, writing SUGAR on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Justin.
"Need I say her name?" Justin asked, writing SUGAR on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Jazz.
"We all know who's leaving tonight," Jazz said to the camera, writing SUGAR on a piece of paper. Then we saw what happened to the votes: they were placed in a box underneath the sink, which would later be picked up by the interns.
But as soon as Jazz left, Sugar slunk in and pried open the box with a stick. She removed the topmost ballot, studied the handwriting, then copied it to write OWEN on an extra slip of paper she'd nabbed. She placed in the fake, crumpled up the original, then restored the box to its normal state. Sugar then wrote JAZZ on her own paper and put it in the vote box.
Sugar chuckled. "Who's the dummy now?"
"Here's how we perform our eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Fourteen marshmallows sat on the plate, but only two of them were colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got so we can ride the drama trail unimpeded. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Brick, Scarlett, Lightning, Miles, Laurie, Alejandro, Brady, Ryan, Duncan, DJ, Justin, and Jasmine." Everyone got their marshmallows quickly and quietly.
"Blue means you received only one vote against you, and green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. But something's changed; for the first time ever, there are no blues OR greens." Two colored marshmallows were left. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you've outstayed your welcome. Jazz. Sugar."
The two looked at him.
"Jazz, you messed up a little today, and you hold people together. With you out of the picture, everything would fall apart. Sugar, your very presence is tearing people apart from the inside out. It seems obvious who'll go...
...
...
...
...
"But there's something...wrong. Look familiar, Jazz?' Chris pulled out a piece of paper and scowled. "It's a vote for Owen. In YOUR handwriting. We told you at the beginning that a vote for the immune results in automatic elimination. So we're going to do that right now. Jazz, you're out!"
Everyone gasped. "But Chris, I didn't vote for Owen! Honest, he's my friend!" Jazz protested.
"The paper doesn't lie." Jazz sighed and decided not to contest the issue any further.
Leshawna sighed. "Why, Jazz? I knew you were a little forgetful, but you knew Owen wasn't a threat!" She and her remaining friends had joined the CC in grieving their lost teammate.
"Don't be too sure about that," Gwen replied. "He's part of the Misfit alliance, I'm pretty sure. But yeah, this doesn't seem like her at all."
The offending vote blew in front of them. "Wait, Leshawna, you and Jazz have known each other for a long time," DJ said.
"Meaning I should be able to tell if this is her handwriting!" the Sister with 'Tude realized. She snatched it and read it. "See, this penmanship isn't exactly like hers. This was...forged."
Realization set in. Everyone turned their heads to the one person who they knew had to be responsible.
"What are you gonna do?" Sugar gloated. "Tryna throw me out's just gonna make me work even harder!"
Leshawna growled before pouncing on the shorter girl. The camera cut out before the violence could be shown.
Confessional – Scott.
"Guess this is why Heather told me I'd be a target after I rigged the votes to kick Phil out," Scott pondered. "'Cuz we all want Sugar out now more than ever. And now Heather's mad 'cuz apparently Gwen's got her idol and is threatening to use it on her. Oh, and Noah and Emma probably like each other." He looked at the camera. "Wow, what a week it's been this far."
Chris stood at Five-Larch Point. "Fourteen down. Seventy remain. Who's going to wheelie into posterity and whose cycle's about to be cut short? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
"CHRIS, YOU'RE NEXT!" Leshawna bellowed. She'd finished roughing up Sugar, who had a few cuts and a black eye, while Leshawna didn't even have her hair messed up.
"Oh, [s word]," Chris groaned.
Votes:
Brick – Sugar (VOID)
Scarlett – Sugar (VOID)
Lightning – Sugar (VOID)
Sugar – Jazz (VOID)
Miles – Sugar (VOID)
Laurie – Sugar (VOID)
Alejandro – Sugar (VOID)
Brady – Sugar (VOID)
Ryan – Sugar (VOID)
Duncan – Sugar (VOID)
DJ – Didn't vote (VOID)
Justin – Sugar (VOID)
Jazz – Sugar (VOID)
Jasmine – Sugar (VOID)
Results: 12-1 Sugar-Jazz (VOID)
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r)
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Owen, Carrie (Noah), Heather (Gwen), Geoff (Geoff), Justin (Ella)
Future eliminations immunized against: Noah (2)
Bonus clip:
Alejandro sighed as he looked out the window of his cabin, mulling over the day's events. Sugar had rigged the votes, something he of all people should've seen coming. Now he was stuck with the Pageant Prat while a perfectly decent pawn went to waste.
Though he had to admit, things were still pretty good for him. His alliance was still fully intact. Brady and Devin weren't too bright but were loyal to a fault, the latter especially so as he was trying to escape from the clutches of Jacques and Josee, who were far crueler than even the Latin Mastermind could bring himself to be. Ryan, meanwhile, simply wanted some protection numbers could bring him, and though definitely wiser than the previous two didn't always think that deep. Duncan knew Alejandro was a villain, but the former was as well, and respected him for being a troublemaker adept at covering his tracks.
His love life with Heather was tenuous, always had been since he'd moved from Toronto to the house next-door to hers. Still, she had a drive and a passion to make herself known that he found quite a turn-on. He wouldn't dare eliminate her. Not just yet, at least. As much as he'd like the thrill of challenging her, Heather was too risky to bring to the final ten when the votes gave up their power to random chance.
On the other fabulous hand, though, were the Misfits. Oh, how he hated those wannabes, how they so desired to be in his shoes when they could never earn it for their awkward, gangly way of life. But their flaws put together somehow made them incredibly cohesive. Determined. Yet despite Noah being their de facto leader, he wasn't motivated enough to actually get them to do anything useful with it.
Well, until that short Chinese girl showed up last month and changed all that.
Alejandro scowled. Emma had quickly risen the ranks to become Noah's second-in-command, lacking his experience but making up for it with her own. She'd once been as popular at Turtle Creek as Alejandro was at Pahkitew, but had since fallen from grace. Whatever had caused it, it made her determined for vengeance. She wasn't as smart, but far more aggressive. Together, she and Noah were a power couple like Alejandro had never seen before.
Couple. Alejandro had long ago figured that they'd probably fall for each other, and he'd seen them realize it too that very day. He needed to eliminate either or both of them soon, before they could use their love to undo everything Alejandro had worked so hard for.
But planning could wait until the morning. Sighing, Alejandro lay back on his bed, pulled the cheap polyester blanket over himself, and went to sleep.