Review time!
Lara2244: Completely unintentional, but great that you noticed!
Doctor Brain: Thanks! Yeah, I've been slowed down by crap in my universe, but I'll try to keep a regular schedule. I had to include Admiral Lindsay Her Hotness because that persona appeared in the original and it just made sense, and she'll be lasting into the end of Season Three at least! THD!Courtney is bi, but she's less closeted and more oblivious; she's spent so much of her life worrying about perfection in her academics that she's never stopped to consider her own orientation, so she assumes she's straight because the majority of people (about 89%) are, and initially she thought that any other orientation would make her seem like less. I do ship Gwourtney and THD!Gwen's also bi, and yes, the Gwuncan thing will be handled MUCH better than it was in canon.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks!
Joel Connell: Thanks! Yeah, I had to include that because it was funny. XD I really like evolving the cast beyond their archetypes, and Lindsay and Sammy's personal growth reflects this. Aftermath IV's coming up next!
Concerned Fan: First of all, the five replaced were not OCs but background characters. Total Drama's cast of extras is big enough that OCs feel redundant. Second, THD!Max isn't actually evil, just a tad troubled, but what Chris is hiding is actually a bit standard for a TV host; more on that next chapter. And thanks for the support for the ships!
Saturday, November 18, 2017
"Last time on Total Drama – war! [the paint bombs exploding] HUH! [MacArthur tripping Jacques and Josee] What is it good for? [DJ landing on Jay] My personal amusement, come on, I'll say it again! Our last challenge was themed on war and since war takes many forms, so did we! We chose our captains by skydiving onto a couch! [Ella, Izzy, and Lindsay being the only ones to succeed] Next, we made art using paint bombs, ranked on creativity. [The pieces of art] Team Amazon's was the best, so they got a bit of a head start on the third part: keeping the Chest of Untold Secrets in their possession! [Zoey and Sierra getting caught by Noah's trap] And eventually, they did! [Courtney and Gwen's plan] After learning what the secret was [the chest is empty] the remaining two teams had to dig trenches! [Manitoba coming out] And Team Me got the closest to the objective. Team Victory's eliminee was anyone's guess, but Lindsay wanted her Misfit Membership bad! [Meeting of the Misfits] I can't understand why, but she got it when she ripped out one of Alejandro's star pawns: Brady. [Brady's elimination]"
Pan out to reveal Chris was on a plane. "Today we're doing something different. Earlier today, we broke our contestants into the four teams from the mining challenge. Why? Simple. Each eighth challenge is a Total Drama Field Trip to a location that isn't disclosed...yet." Chris got up from his chair and stretched open his arms widely. "Sixty-one contestants remain. Who will bob and weave to victory and who'll wait for daylight to come, 'cuz they're gonna go home? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a passing Harold in the groin. Jacques laughed at him, but stopped when he saw Leshawna glaring at him.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the snowy island, passing Chris getting pampered by a disgusted Phil, Jo and Eva arm-wrestling, Dave attempting to flirt with Sky, Trent performing a song in front of an approving Ella, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Jasmine fighting a mutated anglerfish.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the few animals still awake during winter. Then Dawn showed up. DJ invited her to join them, while the Vegans glared at her.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on the frozen lake in a game of hockey. Josee knocked the puck so hard it went flying right into one of B's inventions on the other side of the lake. Bridgette and Geoff watched, then the latter pulled out a card reading "7.5".
*Instrumental*
Owen trudged across the ice covering the river, which quickly broke under his weight. He jumped out of the water shivering. From afar, Sasquatchanakwa rolled his eyes as if to say "lightweight". Then Izzy appeared behind him and knocked him to the ground, before pulling out a camera and taking a picture of her catch.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Mike looked into a mirror and smiled at what he saw. His reflection included those of his alternate personalities, who were happily admiring their looks. Then an emo version of Mike, with his hair flipped over his face, suddenly appeared in the back, frightening everyone.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef roasted the remains of a mutated rat in the cafeteria over the stove in front of the campers. Ryan and Stephanie looked at each other, then back at Chef with their game faces on. Behind them, Tyler, Lindsay, Zoey, Cameron, Sam, and Lightning mingled.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Amy attempted to tackle Sammy, but Cody appeared and shoved her aside, before pulling Sammy into a hug. Behind them, Sierra cursed to herself.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Courtney, Duncan, and Gwen watched Sugar engage in a slap-fight with MacArthur to Sanders' disapproval. Courtney was holding Duncan's hand, but the latter was secretly checking out Gwen.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Carrie and Devin sat together in the Climate Hall, the one warm part of the island left, when it suddenly began raining, and then the door opened, causing both to get very cold. It turned out Alejandro had been responsible. He grinned evilly at the camera. But he didn't notice Brick spying on him. Brick's eyes narrowed.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher chatted with Dakota, who was busy with intern work. Behind them, Scarlett breathed a sigh of relief as she looked behind the good cabin. Because of the colder weather, the lustblossoms were dormant.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and then Justin interrupted the moment by appearing between them. They gave him immediate death glares, causing him to run off. The couple looked back at the camera with raised eyebrows.
Stunning Sapphires
"Man, it's so hot in here," Geoff panted, pausing to take off his hat to wipe the sweat off his brow. Inside the plane it was sweltering. Everyone had changed back to their summer clothes and it was still blisteringly hot.
"I know," Gwen agreed. "Think Chris is taking us somewhere near the equator so he can keep milking outdoor challenges?"
"Probably," Sam said. He groaned.
"Ice packs, anyone?" Everyone looked up to see Dakota approaching, a bucket of ice packs in her hands. "I know I'm technically not allowed to help you, but we had a lot of these, and I don't want anyone to get heatstroke."
"Your subterfuge is much appreciated," Sam laughed, glady taking one of the packs and placing it on his stomach. "Ahhh..." His teammates followed suit.
"So Dakota, you know where we're going?" Zoey asked.
"Jamaica."
"Well, looks like you're right, Gwen," Geoff said. The plane finally landed.
"And it looks like I need help," Tyler said. "I sweat so much my butt's stuck to the seat!" He struggled to get up.
"Oh my, me too!" Owen agreed. The sight was not one most people would want to see.
"Lightweights," Noah said to himself. His parents, being native Indians, had passed their heat tolerance down to him.
Radiant Rubies: Izzy, Jo, Heather, Courtney, Jacques, Josee, Miles, Laurie, Sierra, Leshawna, Cody, Harold, Beardo, Amy, Sammy, and MacArthur.
Stunning Sapphires: Noah, Owen, Ennui, Sam, Zoey, Mike, Geoff, Ella, Lightning, Gwen, Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Dawn, and Lindsay.
Daring Diamonds: Jen, Tom, Lorenzo, Alejandro, Devin, Ryan, Duncan, Emma, Trent, Stephanie, Topher, Shawn, Bridgette, and Jasmine.
Excellent Emeralds: Sugar, Scarlett, Sky, Justin, Eva, Carrie, Sanders, Brick, B, Crimson, Kitty, Cameron, Jay, Dave, Taylor, and DJ.
"Well hello there everybody!" Chris announced once everyone was out of the planes.
"Uh, dude, how are you in your normal clothes in this weather?" Ryan asked, bewildered.
"As a host, he has to be able to withstand any outfit, any temperature," Topher replied.
"Right you are!" Chris replied cheerfully.
Or was it Chris?
"Day forty and they STILL don't know about the robots," Chris said, back in his mansion back home. Specifically, he was naked in the hot tub.
"And a very good thing for our competing chumps indeed!" Blaineley, also in the tub, agreed. The dark couple looked into each others eyes and began fervently making out.
Luckily, the camera cut out before the fullness of their exploits could be seen by the audience (who would no doubt be very, very, very disgusted).
"We're here in this former colony of Spain, which was then stolen by England, for our third Field Trip. Specifically, we're at Doctor's Cave Beach in Montego Bay, the capital of St. James parish. A place I think DJ's quite familiar with, no?"
"Well, yeah, my parents were born here," DJ said, almost wistfully. "Kinda wish I knew my dad more though."
"What do you mean?" Cody asked.
"He passed when I was four. Hereditary stomach cancer. S'why I try to eat right as much as I can."
"Oh, DJ, that's so sad!" Dawn whimpered, hugging his waist. DJ patted her head.
"I know that feeling," Sammy nodded sympathetically. "My own dad died around the same time. Your mom remarry? I don't mean to insinuate anything, I'm just curious," she added hastily.
"Momma felt it'd be better to keep his memory in her so she'd have something to keep her goin', so no," DJ replied.
"Blah blah blah BLAH, can we move on now?" Chris asked impatiently. "It's a twenty-two-minute show and we're wasting airtime!"
"Okay, FINE, you heartless [di word]," Heather growled.
Confessional – Chef.
"Chris never really liked sentimentality for as long as I've known him," Chef said, shaking his head.
Confessional – Amy.
"That. Was. UNCALLED FOR! Such a touching story, and McLame-o stomps all over it! Again!" Amy was on the brink of tears. "I-I miss Dad so much...why'd Samey have to make him leave?..."
"Well then. I assume you're familiar with Jamaica being an island nation?" Chris asked.
"Yup," Sam said.
"Pretty sure," Cody agreed.
"Then you know that it's completely surrounded by the Caribbean sea! And that's where we're doing the first part of today's challenge. I've taken the Chef medallions from the last time you were in these four teams and turned them into karaoke chains!"
"What's a karaoke chain?" Lindsay asked.
"A gold necklace you wear while doing karaoke, duh! Anyhow, half of your team is gonna dive down into the water to rescue these chains from saltwater damage! And yes, I know gold doesn't corrode easily, but I don't wanna take any chances. Any.
"The other half of your team will do something very different. Since Jamaica is the homeland of Rastafarianism, the people who don't swim are gonna make their own religions. The best religion will be determined by how many people of the other teams want to convert."
"What if you're an atheist?" Noah asked.
"You guys won't be counted in the final score, but that's not gonna affect any of the teams. Which reminds me, all ye nonbelievers step forth!" Noah, Emma, Kitty, Cody, Sam, Cameron, Harold, Mike, Scarlett, Sammy, Amy, Duncan, Gwen, Sanders, B, MacArthur, and Tyler stepped forward.
"You too?" Mike asked Tyler, confused.
"If there were a god or something in charge of the universe, then I wouldn't get hurt as much as I do," Tyler explained.
"That's fair."
"And any and all agnostics, please step forward! You guys are gonna count in the score, but only for half a point." Owen, Izzy, Lindsay, Justin, Ella, Jasmine, Shawn, Courtney, Beardo, Geoff, Bridgette, Zoey, Brick, Eva, and Dawn did so.
"WHAT? How come there are so many of you heathens?!" Sugar exclaimed.
"You do know Canada's way more secular than the US, right?" Gwen replied.
"She does now," Duncan smirked.
Gwen chuckled. "I guess she does."
"Both of y'all goin' to [h word]," Sugar grumbled.
The robot Chris didn't react to that. "The religion with the greatest number of followers wins! Faith with the least loses. Whichever of the teams pulls out the most chains at the end of part one will actually get to write theirs down so they'll seem more convincing."
"I never thought you'd do a challenge this heavily focused on thought, Chris," Harold noted.
"It's because the original second part didn't get clearance from the network's lawyers. Like, how do they know my bobsled into an empty pool would be dangerous?"
The entire cast looked at the camera, concerned.
Radiant Rubies
"So...who wants to jump into the water and fight sharks, stingrays, and jellyfish?" Courtney asked.
"When you put it that way, NOT me," Heather snorted. "Besides, I think I'd make a perfect high priestess."
"What? No! People should be putting their faith in ME!" Amy snapped back.
"Do recall I'm your leader back home, Amelia." Amy immediately shut up when Heather dared to utter her real name.
"Guys, can we please stop fighting?" Cody pleaded. "I think the best way to do this would be to flip a coin. Whoever gets heads uses their head to think up our religion, and whoever gets tails has to protect theirs from the sea life. Sound fair?"
"Hm...I normally don't say this, but I agree with the geek," Jacques said finally.
"Uh, just so we're clear, I wanna do the underwater part," Jo piped up.
"That's fine. Anyone got spare change we can use?"
"This brother can spare a dime," Beardo quipped as he pulled one out of his shorts pocket. He flipped it, then made a cartoon crashing noise when it landed. "I got tails. Looks like Jo's gonna have some company."
Jo nodded. "Good to have you on my side, Misfit. Good to have you on my side."
End result of the Radiant Ruby selection process:
Divers: Izzy, Jo, Courtney, Laurie, Leshawna, Beardo, [Amy], and [MacArthur].
Prophets: Heather, Jacques, Josee, Miles, Sierra, [Cody], [Harold], and [Sammy].
Key: brackets are the nonreligious (not counted in score), italics are agnostic (half a point only).
Stunning Sapphires
"Okay, there's fifteen of us here. Not lethal, but one of the teams is gonna have to be bigger than the other one," Noah began.
"Maybe the diving sub-team should have more people so we can get more chains," Sadie suggested.
"Good call. In that case, it's time I got over my aversion to physical activity." Noah took off his shirt. "I'm going for a swim. You too, Owen, you need a bath. Badly."
"Dude, that's a big scar," Geoff winced on seeing the mark left over from the dodgeball incident.
"And now you know why I hate physical activity. But Geoff, you like the water a lot. So you're coming with me. Ditto Tyler, Dawn, Sam, Gwen, and Lightning."
"Sha-bam!"
"Say that again and I'm gonna sha-bam you," Gwen grumbled.
"Everyone else, you're doing the religion. We'll try to get that as-yet-undetermined advantage, alright?"
"Fine by me, my makeup's saltwater-soluble," Ennui replied.
Confessional – Ennui.
"And I don't think that the world's ready for my face-reveal just yet."
Confessional – Lightning.
"That bear woman Eva spared Lightning no details in Noah's sha-old injury," Lightning explained. "Maybe Lightning was too hard on Noah that day. Or maybe Lightning wasn't hard enough on him. It's a fine line."
End result of the Stunning Sapphire selection process:
Divers: [Noah], Owen, [Sam], Geoff, Lightning, [Gwen], [Tyler], and Dawn.
Prophets: Ennui, Zoey, [Mike], Ella, Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay.
Key: brackets are the nonreligious (not counted in score), italics are agnostic (half a point only).
Daring Diamonds
"I want that win bad," Stephanie murmured.
"Me too. I think both of us should be doin' the swimming part so we can get the advantage," Ryan agreed.
"I think we may have the lowest percentage of nonreligious people on our team, meaning we're worth a lot of points," Alejandro considered. "We could be hugely influential. I want everyone to stay strong and DO NOT sign up for the other team's religions."
"Okay, so we've got two people doing the diving, but how should we figure out the rest?" Trent asked.
"We draw lots," Shawn replied, pulling out a bunch of straws from underneath his hat. "Short straws go underwater."
"Do you really keep a bunch of straws underneath your hat?" Jasmine asked, cocking a black eyebrow.
"Yeah, it's easier to escape if you're drinking and a zombie tries to drown you."
Jasmine chuckled. "Whatever floats yer boat, mate."
End result of the Daring Diamond selection process:
Divers: Lorenzo, Alejandro, Devin, Ryan, [Duncan], Stephanie, and Bridgette.
Prophets: Jen, Tom, [Emma], Trent, Topher, Shawn, and Jasmine.
Key: brackets are the nonreligious (not counted in score), italics are agnostic (half a point only).
Excellent Emeralds
"Okay, we've got a new name for ourselves, so let's not lose it," Dave said.
"Agreed. We need our more intellectual members working on the religion and our more physical members on the diving," Sky added. "So I think that means I'm doing the diving and Dave's doing the faith."
B pulled out a device he'd made that looked like a slot machine. "A random assortment generator! Good thinking, soldier," Brick complimented. B pulled the trigger and eight photographs tumbled out: Sky, Sugar, Justin, Eva, Sanders, Brick, Taylor, and DJ's.
"So I guess you guys are with me," Sky decided. "Okay everyone, let's get to it!"
End result of the Excellent Emerald selection process:
Divers: Sugar, Sky, Justin, Eva, [Sanders], Brick, Taylor, and DJ.
Prophets: [Scarlett], Carrie, [B], Crimson, [Kitty], [Cameron], Jay, and Dave.
Key: brackets are the nonreligious (not counted in score), italics are agnostic (half a point only).
The half of each team that was doing the diving congregated together at the edge of a pier. Below them, the light blue sea beckoned.
"I hope there aren't any electric eels in there," Devin gulped.
"Dude, electric eels are freshwater fish," Noah corrected. "Unless Chris were to mutate them so they could do both, but as the last challenge revealed he's way too lazy to try that."
"Not that there isn't anything dangerous in the water," Sanders murmured. "Sharks, jellyfish, and dolphins still pose a major problem."
"Dolphins?" Leshawna asked.
"Yeah, in real life dolphins are huge jerks," Geoff said. "Trust me on this one."
"Okay, I see everyone's here, good good good," Chris said. "Now let's get swimming!" He blew his airhorn and everyone dove. Then he turned to face the camera. "But can they just keep swimming? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris said to the audience. "Our divers have dived, so let's see how they're putting up with the sea life!"
Radiant Rubies
"AAAAAAAAH!" Laurie shrieked as she scrambled out of the water with a solitary gold chain in her right hand. She was covered in red welts.
"You okay?" Cody asked.
"No, I'm not! What do you think?! A bunch of jellyfish decided to use me for target practice!"
"You know what they say about curing jellyfish stings," Jacques chuckled darkly. Sierra heard this and fumed in Laurie's direction.
"WHAT? No! Only sickos are into stuff like that!" Cody protested.
"B'sides, vinegar works a lot better," Chef, a red paper cross taped to his hat, interjected. "C'mon maggot, let's get you into the medical tent." Laurie dropped the chain and limped after the cook.
"Well, we have a chain, so that's better than nothing," Sammy said. "Hey, maybe we could base our demons on jellyfish! Or at the very least one of them."
"Good idea!" Cody exclaimed.
Confessional – Cody.
"I've always wanted to design my own mythology! And I couldn't ask for a better person to do it with than Sammy. She really knows her stuff! Complete opposite from her sister."
Confessional – Jasmine.
"It's so nice to see Sammy break out of her shell. I heard she stuck up to Amy last challenge, and I'm so proud to see her making new friends." Jasmine smirked. "Although I think Cody might become a little bit more, if you know what I mean."
Confessional – Sierra.
"SERIOUSLY?! What does Sammy have that I don't?! Besides being at Cody's eye level!"
Excellent Emeralds
"WHOOOOO!" Brick exclaimed, jumping out of the water with seven gold chains. "I'm on fire!"
"Nice job, Brick!" Kitty complimented. "Now we're ahead of the others for sure!"
"Though I do hope we finish this quick," Justin said, emerging from the water with two chains. "My hands are getting wrinkly."
Stunning Sapphires
"Well, crap," Tyler gulped as a common bottlenose dolphin, one flipper grasping his swim trunks by the waistband, wound up for a punch to the nuts.
Far above, Owen struggled to dive. "I can't go down!"
"Your fat makes you too buoyant. Try and decrease your overall volume," Noah said as he reentered the water.
"Ohhh!" Owen farted and he sank immediately. He couldn't speak, so he gave Noah a thumbs-up.
Daring Diamonds
"Of all the places we could've ended up, it's over here where there's hardly anything," Stephanie growled. The current had swept her team farther out, at the edge of the zone they could be in.
"Don't worry! We can still win this!" Lorenzo reassured her.
"You sure about that?"
"...Well, not really, but I can try, can't I?"
"Okay then!" Chris announced. "Time's up for gathering the chains. And let's tally them up!
"Radiant Rubies, fifteen chains. Stunning Sapphires, seventeen chains. Daring Diamonds, nine chains. Excellent Emeralds, thirteen chains. The Stunning Sapphires win part one and will get the advantage of this notebook!" He tossed a composition book at them; it whacked Zoey square in the gut, causing her to double over in pain. As Mike helped her up while Ennui retrieved the book, Chris continued speaking. "As soon as they finish writing their sapphic (heh, sapphic) secrets down, you're gonna present your religions! The team that wins today is the one with the greatest number of converts at the end, while the losing team will have the least, and that'll be determined by these clickers; press the button to pronounce your faith. Good luck!"
Fifteen minutes later
"We're done!" Dawn called.
"Well let's get started!" Chris announced. Everyone was handed a clicker, with four buttons for each team – red, blue, yellow, and green. "We're going in order of Mohs scale hardness, so Excellent Emeralds, you're up first!"
Excellent Emeralds
"Well hello, my friends!" Justin said. "Our religion is called Brightnity. This is because we place value in all that is bright and shiny in our lives! Whether it be a cheerful disposition or a sunny day, we promise to vanquish the darkness in our lives!"
Confessional – Eva.
"As you can plainly see, I had very little input in this."
"Holy days are Fridays and Saturdays. We have one main god, Just-maker the wise, god of light, and all the other gods he pushed aside to become the ruler! So whaddya say?"
A bunch of clicks.
"We'll go over the results later," Chris said. "Our next two teams, being basically the same stone in different colors, have the same hardness. But since more varieties of colored corundum get called sapphires, the Stunning Sapphires are next!"
Stunning Sapphires
"From the darkest, dankest depths of the universe," Gwen began, "there were mysterious monsters." She showed the others a picture she'd drawn, of a massive black creature with six pure white eyes and numerous tentacles. "They lived in another world we couldn't see, but grew curious about this one. Discovering they could enter through dreams, they did. They now traverse into our minds every time we sleep, and help guide our actions for a better, more stable world."
"What about bad people?" Dave asked.
"They don't listen to the monsters. They pay the price when nature takes its course. We have no designated holy day; after all, you encounter the monsters every time you fall asleep. But every winter solstice, we celebrate them. Their names cannot be spoken, but are felt as they move, and from that I get their name. I call them the Thrumm."
Many fervent clicks.
Confessional – Zoey.
"Wow! That was impressive! If that were a real religion, I'd convert immediately!"
Confessional – Courtney.
"Well," Courtney mused, "Gwen didn't actually describe the cosmology of Thrumm worship, but I guess in her mind science dictates the birth of the world." She shrugged. "It's actually a lot like Buddhism in that regard. No gods or goddesses, but supernatural elements regardless."
Confessional – Duncan.
"That was so metal! See, this is why I like Gwen. She gets this kinda stuff!"
"And now it's time for the Radiant Rubies!"
Radiant Rubies
"According to the Book of Geekism, the world was an accident, actually," Cody clarified. "Before it existed, there was a plane populated gods and demons. Originally they lived together peacefully, until the jellyfishlike sorcerer Ubuuk turned the demons against the gods. The world was created by an attack from a god and an attack from a demon cancelling each other out. Neither side knows about our world's existence, since they exist in more spatial dimensions than we do, and the battle rages on to this day. Holy days are Wednesdays and Thursdays."
"Kinda simplistic. So it's basically a neverending war zone?" Chris asked.
"Hey, a lot of people like that kind of stuff," Sammy defended.
"True, true."
Clicking.
"And now the Daring Diamonds must try and beat you!"
Daring Diamonds
"Fan-realism has two main gods, a husband and wife named Iota and Zeota. After defeating a really creepy old guy who wanted to steal all the world's wealth, they split the world's money among their friends, and together they all populated the world with people," Bridgette said.
"Hm. Kinda lame, if you ask me," Chris said.
Clicking.
"And now let's see the scores!"
Confessional – Noah and Emma.
"TOTALLY obvious that she's talking about herself and Geoff," Noah said.
"At least now we know she wants to use the money for everyone's benefit," Emma replied.
"Yeah, I'd be okay with her winning. She's at least sane."
"For Brightnity, we have Amy, Heather, Sierra, Lightning, Katie, Sadie, Lindsay, Lorenzo, Sugar, and Topher. Excellent Emeralds get eight-point-five points
"For Thrumm Worship, Izzy, Jo, Courtney, Leshawna, MacArthur, Cody, Harold, Sammy, Lorenzo, Devin, Bridgette, Shawn, Jasmine, Justin, Eva, Sanders, Brick, DJ, Carrie, and Dave. Stunning Sapphires get eleven-point-five points.
"For Geekism, Owen, Geoff, Tyler, Mike, Ella, Sadie, Lorenzo, Jen, Trent, Justin, Eva, and Jay. Radiant Rubies get seven-point-five points.
"And for Fan-realism, Sierra, Dawn, Sugar, and Carrie. Daring Diamonds get three-point-five points. Therefore, the Stunning Sapphires win! Meet me in third class at eight, Daring Diamonds, someone's gonna worry about a ting!"
"Like WE are," Phil said. "The planes are out of fuel. We're gonna be here until tomorrow when they get refueled."
"Oh. Hm. Well, I'm not in control anymore. Knock yourselves out, guys."
"Eat up, guys!" DJ announced. "Chef needed to go find a place where he could get plane fuel, so he let me cook tonight's dinner! Come get it while it's hot!"
Everyone did. DJ was renowned for his excellent culinary skills.
"Um, is this red stuff vegan?" Miles asked as she stared at her tofu with cous-cous.
"Don't worry! The Joseph Secret Spice is 100% plant-based! I'm also a veggiehead, so I know what I'm doing."
"Is the spice a recipe of your father's?" Dawn asked.
"Yeah. That's the other way Momma and I remember him."
Dawn smiled at him after Miles left. "And that's why I love you. You're so kind." She thought for a moment. "DJ, if we do end up marrying and having children, what religion are we going to raise them in? Because you're a Muslim and I'm agnostic."
"Easy. We let them decide. And whatever they choose, we'll respect that."
Dawn nodded. "I think I can manage that."
Confessional – Alejandro.
"Bridgette does annoy me, but Lorenzo said her obvious self-insertion didn't need any tweaking," Alejandro growled as he wrote LORENZO on a piece of paper. "Plus he was weak and gave votes to all the others. Thrumm worship and Geekism I can get, but that lame sack of caca Justin came up with?!"
Confessional – Jasmine.
"Duncan's a right messed-up bloke," Jasmine explained as she wrote DUNCAN on a piece of paper. "And I personally think Courtney can do better."
Confessional – Lorenzo.
"I know, I was weak. But Duncan is too!" He wrote DUNCAN on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Stephanie.
"I think Alejandro's up to something, and if Ryan knows what's good for him he's gonna back out of that alliance." She wrote ALEJANDRO on a piece of paper.
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Fourteen marshmallows stood on the plate, just three of them colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got for drama, mon. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Jen, Tom, Devin, Ryan, Emma, Trent, Stephanie, Topher, Shawn, Bridgette, and Jasmine."
Then he pointed to the lone green marshmallow. "Blue means you received only one vote against you. Today, they're in absentia. Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. Alejandro, four votes." Alejandro groaned and got his marshmallow.
Two colored marshmallows were left. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you're done. Duncan. Lorenzo."
Duncan and Lorenzo glared at each other.
"Duncan, you're reckless and rude, and unmistakably crude. Lorenzo, you were weak-willed when it came to staying true to your team. And who's going out today...
...
...
...
...
"Will need some extra finagling because we have a tie!"
"So what's the tiebreaker?" Duncan asked.
"A bit of that sweet Caribbean music, mon!" Chris replied cheerfully. "I'll give you both pieces of music you gotta bang out on these steel drums!" He showed them the steel drums and handed them wooden sticks. "Whoever can play this string of notes better in thirty seconds gets to stay. Begin!"
The piece was the first few lines of "The Bureaucrat Song". Duncan turned out to be much better at coordinating his hands.
"And time! Sorry Lorenzo, but you're gone."
"Aw man! Well, I had a lot of fun on this show regardless. And hey, this way I get to have an awesome goodbye party!"
Confessional – Geoff.
"Did he just say PARTY?!" Geoff asked, excited.
"You guys didn't see it, but that party was awesome," Chris, this time the real one, said the next morning. He stood on the beach; in the background the planes were being refueled. "Twenty-four down. Sixty remain. Who'll jam to eternal fame and who'll be dreadlocked out of the game? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Then Chris felt something scratching his leg. He looked down and saw a colony of fire ants crawling up his pants. He screamed and the camera cut to black.
Votes:
Jen – Alejandro
Tom – Alejandro
Lorenzo – Duncan
Alejandro – Lorenzo
Devin – Lorenzo
Ryan – Lorenzo
Duncan – Lorenzo
Emma – Duncan
Trent – Duncan
Stephanie – Alejandro
Topher – Lorenzo
Shawn – Duncan
Bridgette – Alejandro
Jasmine – Duncan
Results: 5-5-4 Lorenzo-Duncan-Alejandro
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo (t)
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Owen, Carrie, Tyler, Sammy (Noah), Geoff (Geoff), Justin (Ella), Duncan (Alejandro)
Bonus clip:
Dakota and Phil looked at each other in Third Class on the Radiant Rubies' plane.
"We're gonna keep helping them?" Dakota asked.
Phil nodded. "We're gonna keep helping them. Chris be [d word]ed."