Happy New Year! And now it's review time!
Lara2244: Yep, Mal's arc has thus begun! Let's see how much less ableist it is this time!
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! It sure is.
SideshowJazz1: Thanks! Your stuff's kinda average-quality for me. Spellcheck is an inherent feature of Microsoft Word, Google Docs, and this site; I suggest you look for the little red lines under misspelled words. (Sadly this site hasn't evolved to check for grammar errors, it'd save me a lot of time if it did.) It's not a specific complaint for you, it's just something that bugs me in general. For characterization, rereading your own writing and the wiki are really helpful.
Doctor Brain: Thanks! That's a holdover from the canon, Courtney not thinking everything through. But I'm glad you like her characterization in this continuity! And this Mal is sneakier and slimier than he's ever been before! *Patent pending.
Joel Connell: Thanks! I write Thomas & Friends too, so that chapter was a reference to it! Go check out The Ballad of Dominic and my other works in that fandom on my profile page!
Katie Mendel, The Peppy Girl.
"For Queen Miranda!" Katie cried as soon as she touched the ground. Suddenly, she was blasted by the laser cannon and ejected from the game.
Trent Gagnon, The Generic Guy.
"Today just wasn't my day, was it?" Trent sighed.
Kitsune "Kitty" Xin, The Cell Phone Addict.
"Considering you immunized my sister, I'm gonna have to call bull to your crap," Kitty quipped.
Gwen Seville, The Snarky Goth.
"...I did not need to know that last bit," Gwen grimaced.
Dave Agarwal, The Neat Freak.
"And you staying in the game will give us that space," Dave finished. "Take care, Sky."
Courtney Silveria, The Highstrung CIT.
"A lot of us don't have couplings in the front, Duncan! That includes you too, by the way!" Courtney, in her trainsona, snapped.
The next six contestants who've been eliminated have returned to their school. But while their ex-teammates do their schoolwork–
Geoff "ooohed" at the intricate 3D molecule model on the computer.
–we follow up on the losers. Where are they now? What are they up to? And what will we do now that Chris and Blaineley aren't here? This.
Is.
Aftermath: Total Drama Edition.
Theme music
The screen opened and the viewer saw two clips, side-by-side, of Katie and Trent walking, shot from the front view. Katie was on the left, Trent on the right. The clips then wiped up to show Kitty and Gwen in the same setup. It happened again, revealing Dave and Courtney. Then the clips wiped up entirely.
Kelly, Dwayne, and Gerry waved to the camera. Suddenly, a flat panel fell from the ceiling on top of them, crushing them underneath. Staci ran over, lifted the panel, and helped them up.
A spotlight focused on a curtain. Two interns shakily held up a sign reading TOTAL DRAMA AFTERMATH V: HUSSY IN ABSENTIA. Then they fell over, the sign falling on top of them.
Staci gulped. "Uh...hello everyone. I'm Staci, the first contestant eliminated. Um..."
"Don't worry pretty lady, you're doing great!" Spud called from the Peanut Gallery.
Staci smiled bashfully. "Thanks, Spud." To the camera she asked rhetorically "Now, why am I doing this? Well, Blaineley and Chris left for the Gemmys tonight and she put me in charge of the fifth aftermath. So...this is going to be a little different from what you're used to."
"I'll say!" Kelly agreed.
"First up is one of two absolute best friends who became something more than that – Katie!" Katie walked onto the stage.
"So, Katie, how did you and Sadie learn you swung both ways?" Dwayne asked.
Katie laughed. "Oh, that's a funny story! Our friends were all really big fans of Shakira when we were younger, and Sadie and I...well, we found out we were fans of her not just for her musical talent."
"The hips don't lie," Lorenzo commented, earning some laughs.
"Katie, if you hadn't been eliminated when you were, what would you have done in the following challenges?" Kelly asked.
"With the exception of the VR one yesterday they all seemed kinda lame, so I don't know what I'd do for them. Seriously, are Chris and Blaineley running out of ideas to torture us with?"
"They never had any to start with!" Jazz howled, and everyone laughed.
"I hope they don't find out about how we're making fun of them," Lauren said suddenly.
"Don't worry about it!" Rock replied. "They like, made this weird decision to like, not watch the series until it's done. They like, think it'd be bad luck if they did."
"So Chris only sees some of the production process and Blaineley only glosses over the finished episodes, and neither of them watch the aftermaths," Leshaniqua murmured.
"That and they have no control over the aftermaths at all, since it's a different company," Phil added.
"Anyway!" Gerry interjected. "This is very interesting, but we need to get this show done before lunch ends. Katie, if you had stayed until Truth or Scare, which one would you rather get?"
"Truth for that time I thought Gwen wanting us to 'go green' meant literally," Katie chuckled. "I had green dye in places you normally wouldn't put it!" She left the stage.
"Uh...was she talking about–" Staci realized something and shook her head, blushing in embarrassment. "Whatever! Ya, this is totes weird. Much more so than our next eliminee – Trent!"
"I object to being labeled 'generic'," Trent muttered as he got onstage.
"So, Trent, what did you think about the love triangle?" Dwayne asked.
"Duncan doesn't deserve Gwen," Trent replied. "I don't know who he does deserve, but certainly not her. And Courtney should've been told he was dumping her explicitly."
"There was another relationship that formed at the same time that one broke," Kelly said. "What do you think of Cody and Sammy?"
"I approve wholeheartedly. Sammy's perfect for him. And I'm glad Sierra finally decided to move on, too. Can we get a clip of that please?"
Sierra sighed. "I'm just...more upset with me, frankly. I've been such a stalker and a creep, and you never deserved any of that. Sammy...she's better for you than I am. I just...want you to be happy."
"And who SHOULD Sierra be paired with?" Gerry wanted to know.
"Topher, probably."
Confessional – Don.
"I'm not sure if my son's ready for a girlfriend just yet," Don said. "But I'm glad he's dropped his hero worship of Chris." Under his breath he muttered, "Just like I did, as a matter of fact."
"And speaking of pairings, here comes the first supporter of what's proving to be like, the alpha couple of this show – Kitty!" As Trent left the stage, Kitty took his place.
"You're labeled a cell phone addict, but you never used your phone in the show," Dwayne commented.
"I wasn't allowed to bring it. Same as everyone else."
"I could use some motivational music right about now!" Eva panted. "Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to bring my oPod or my phone onto the island."
"Which is a serious safety violation, by the way," Mary added.
"Dwayne, you forgot to ask the most important question for Kitty!" Kelly admonished.
"...I did?"
"Yes! Your son likes her! Kitty, do you like Dwayne Jr. as more than a friend?"
Kitty looked into the audience. "I swear, the lustblossoms made me do it!" Junior said hastily.
"Well, you and I do have compatible personalities, so I suppose it could work. Is Saturday good for you?"
"Yes!"
Confessional – Junior.
"I have a girlfriend!" he whooped.
Confessional – Kitty.
"I have a boyfriend!" Kitty took a selfie, then her expression changed. "Emma's not gonna be happy when she finds out, is she?"
"Seriously, THAT'S your most important question?" Gerry grumbled. "Kitty, do you think your sister's going off the deep end?"
Kitty sighed. "A bit. She was a little protective over Jake because she genuinely wanted him to be safe. After how he treated her, though, she's afraid that Noah won't like her anymore. But it's good that Noah's realized this and is prepared to talk to her when the time is right." She left the stage.
"Speaking of relationships, although she's a lot more interesting than just that – Gwen!"
Gwen came onstage. "Hey," she said to the judges.
"Gwen, if the list of people on this show was chosen by you and not someone else, but there were still eighty-four people in total, what would be different?" Dwayne asked.
"Heather, Taylor, Jacques and Josee, Lightning, Sugar, and Amy wouldn't be on it, that's for sure," Gwen replied quickly and thoughtfully. "I'd definitely choose some of my friends who didn't get to come, we could have a little goth alliance going on. Don't know who else though."
"Is your hair naturally teal?" Kelly asked.
"No, I'm actually a redhead underneath the dye."
"And Gwen, you really seem to hate Chris. Why is that?" Gerry finished.
"Isn't it obvious? Because he's a shallow, abusive, and self-absorbed nincompoop who's only doing this to hog the spotlight again! I hate people like him."
"We figured," Gerry replied. "We just wanted to get that on record since Blaineley's not around to get us in trouble."
"Fair point. Though we seriously SHOULDN'T have to fear her." Gwen left the stage.
"Wiser words were never said in this auditorium," Staci agreed. "At least, not yet. Perhaps we'll get something profound from our next eliminee – Dave!" Dave nervously came onstage.
"Hi sport!" Dwayne smiled. "How are you?"
"Reasonably good. Though some of the Athletes have been jeering at me for hooking up with Sky."
"They should be the ones getting jeered at," Dakota snapped. "They apparently knew Keith was cheating on her and they didn't do anything about it!"
"Eesh," Kelly winced. "I've been down that road before. Anyway, Dave, which of the foods in the challenge you were eliminated in would you eat?"
"Not the Sharks' closet mushrooms, that's for sure," Dave said, making a face. "And the mutant salad might give me stomach cancer if I ate it. The ribs and the pizza cake though, they looked reasonably decent."
"I know, it's a shame Chris ate them and we got left with the scraps dumped into Chef's slop," Phil agreed.
"And if there was any other challenge you would do again, which would it be?" Gerry asked.
"I don't know...they were all really terrible."
"Words to live by," Brady agreed. Dave left the stage.
"And now, someone who's gone through perhaps the most changes of all – Courtney!"
Courtney timidly got onstage. "Staci, I am SO sorry I wanted you gone first," she apologized.
"Don't worry, I like, get it now," Staci replied calmly.
"Speaking of, why did you make that list anyway?" Dwayne asked.
"Because I was seeing it as a pure competition. But the longer I was there, the more I learned that it was more than that. Chris and Blaineley may have intended it otherwise, and in fact I'm pretty sure they did, but we were united against a common enemy: them. These stupid boundaries have only been holding us back. The day when the jock and the joke are of equal standing is coming sooner than they expect it to, and I will be glad when it does. Though I'll admit I should've been more thorough in disposing of that thing."
Confessional – Gwen.
"Wow, she HAS grown up," Gwen noted. "Huh, maybe I should've asked her out instead of Duncan! I mean, I have known I'm bi since I was a little kid..." She nodded in thought. "Give her a little time to settle back in this dump of a school, and I could really live a life with that girl."
"Next up, are you on the spectrum or not?" Kelly asked.
"We don't know yet. But by watching the show my parents realized they've been too hard on me and are easing up. Someone's coming next week to test me and we'll know for certain sometime after that."
"You'll still be our friend," Beth said. Courtney looked touched by that.
"And lastly, what do you think is going to happen now that Mal's unleashed?" Gerry asked.
"I don't know. But I don't think it'll be good."
"Me either," Staci said gravely. "But let's focus on other things. What kinds of other things? Find out after these messages."
Total Trivia: Which of the following contestants is NOT an only child?
A. Cody
B. Zoey
C. Chet
D. Brody
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
Total Trivia: The correct answer is Brody. He has a sister a year and a half older than he is. Cody and Zoey are both only children. And remember that Chet and Lorenzo are step-siblings and are not closely biologically related; both boys were the only children born to their respective biological parents.
"And we're back," Staci announced. "Here in Aftermath, our eliminated contestants are going to compete in challenges themselves. The team with the most points at the end will get to send one of the teams in the next episode of the show an advantage." She looked around. "Oh, I guess I'm doing this too. Dwayne, take over for me."
"Oh! Uh...okay then!" Dwayne fumbled with his cue cards and then waved to the camera. "We're going to break up into two teams, the Screaming Gophers and the Killer Bass! Everyone who was a former member of those two teams, move into them!" They did so. "Now, some of you never got that far. So Staci, Dakota, Leonard, Phil, and Chet, you're with the Gophers, and everyone else, you're with the Bass!"
Screaming Gophers: Lorenzo, Max, Gwen, Trent, Rodney, Beth, Brady, Scott, Junior, Anne Maria, Lauren, Staci, Dakota, Leonard, Phil, and Chet.
Killer Bass: Courtney, Zeke, Katie, Mary, Kitty, Mickey, Dave, Jazz, Brody, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Ellody, Spud, and Rock.
"Okay, uh..." Dwayne dropped the cue cards. The kids laughed. "D'oh!" He picked them up again and read off of one. "For our first challenge, all of you must fit inside a mock Trojan Horse!"
Scene change to the gym. With Max's improved teleporter, the move was much faster. Everyone tried to pile in, but the Killer Bass, having more members still in the game, won. "Bass get the first point! Next!
"Now, for part two, one person from each team must get under this limbo! Whoever finishes first gets the point!"
Lauren and Mickey, due to their short statures and thin physiques, opted to do it. However, Mickey fell on his back when he bent over that far, and failed to get up in time.
"Lauren completes the limbo first, therefore the Gophers get the second point, tying up the score! Next!
"Third in line, hamster racing! We borrowed two hamsters from Muskoka Elementary and whichever one reaches the finish line first wins!"
Both had Roborovski hamsters. The Gophers' was brown with red eyes, while the Bass' was blackish-gray with black eyes. They were in a little racetrack made of cardboard, and the Gophers' found the end first.
"How cute!" Dwayne said. "Gophers get the point. Next!
"For our fourth challenge, we have a statement. Only the hosts know whether or not it's true. You guys have to figure that out. Gerry?"
"Shakespeare coined the word 'puke'," Gerry said flatly. "A substance I'm sure you're very familiar with."
The kids whispered amongst each other before Scott stood up. "We're sayin' yes," he said.
"So are we, eh!" Zeke agreed.
"Oh, I'm sorry! That's wrong," Dwayne apologized. "That word was around at least a hundred years before him. Neither of you get the point. Next!"
Confessional – Chet.
"Well, it's like Cody said," Chet said. The corresponding clip rolled after the confessional:
"But hey, you learn something new anyway."
"Up fifth, we've got a cooking challenge. In one minute, you must make a piece of toast using a Bunsen burner and whichever piece Kelly likes more will get their team the point."
"What is WITH these challenges?" Trent sighed, shaking his head. Still, he valiantly held the piece of bread over the burner while Max turned it on. After a minute, he tossed it to Kelly, who took a bite. Tammy did the same.
"I like the Bass' better," Kelly said.
"So we're all tied up!" Dwayne said. "Next!"
"What about the Trial by Lustblossom?" Kitty asked nervously.
"Given the chaos regarding relationships recently, we felt its inclusion would be inappropriate," Dwayne explained. The kids accepted that, nodding thoughtfully.
"And now, the final event! We have here two fifteen-inch-gauge models of real locomotives. On our left, a BNSF EMD SD70AC, representing the Gophers. On our right, a CSX GE B36-7, representing the Bass. One person from each team will get on top of it and another will drive it using a remote-control. Whoever manages to move five cars into the golden siding first wins!"
"THIS is what the show's budget is being used for?" Junior muttered.
"It would appear so," Lorenzo sighed, getting on his. "Chet?"
"Gotcha, dude!" He took up the remote. On the Bass side, Katie got on and Brody took the remote.
"Begin!" Kelly announced, playing an airhorn app that was so loud it blew Gerry's headband off.
It was chaotic. But throughout all the action I'm too lazy to write, the Screaming Gophers won.
"YEAH!" Chet and Lorenzo high-fived.
"Good game!" Brody complimented.
"Their advantage? A guide to how to play a guitar!" Dwayne said. "Back to you, Staci!"
"Alright! Let's look at some of Total Drama's Funniest Moments!" She snickered. "Now with more Chris!"
"Amy does not know how to defend against fresh fruit!"
A 16-ton weight fell from the ceiling, crushing gorgon!Amy under it.
"Geisha massage THIS ain't."
Sam landed on top of Harold.
"We wish we knew, Owen. We wish we knew."
Owen talking about evil popcorn as he turned the bag Alejandro had left behind around so he could look at the ingredients list.
"When she smiles, it's precious. When an evil host gets kicked in the kiwis, it's HILARIOUS!"
Crimson kicked Chris directly in the kiwis. As he crumpled to the floor, Crimson had to laugh, a goofy grin plastered across her face.
"Surprise Eva!"
Diesel!Eva grabbed Tom and dragged him away as quickly as she came.
"How does a girl who's like, only a 27B have that much stuff in there?"
Izzy rummaged through her cleavage, pulling out various items, among them a pack of ballpoint pens, a neon sign, and an anchor.
"Oh how the mighty fall."
Lightning being disappointed that the lightning round wasn't about him.
"Tackiness, thy name is Chris McLean."
Chris broke out a pair of Trongs.
"And now, for our final part of the Aftermath, we will have you guys root for someone still in the game," Staci said to the most-recently eliminated contestants. "At the end of the show, we'll tally the votes, and whoever has the most supporters will receive a prize. I don't know what it is because I'm one of you guys. As for the person who gets the most votes against them by the end of the show, they will get a punishment. I also don't know what it is, but since Blaineley's making it it's bound to be bad. Go to the confessionals and vote now."
Confessional – Katie.
"Sadie gets my vote! I'm so proud of how you did last challenge, baby!" She blew a kiss to the camera.
Confessional – Trent.
"Harold, since the other Drama Brothers have supporters already."
Confessional – Kitty.
"Emma, of course!" She frowned. "Stay strong, sis, and let Noah help you!"
Confessional – Gwen.
"Sammy needs some more friends, and I'm going to help her."
Confessional – Dave.
"Sky. I figure this is enough space for now."
Confessional – Courtney.
"Emma's like me but more mature. I can respect that."
"And that's the end of that," Staci said. "Tune in after Challenge 36 for the sixth Aftermath."
The bell rang.
"And that's the end of lunch. Now let's all check out the Gemmys tonight at nine!"
Votes against:
Owen – 3
Dakota – 7 (Eliminated 7th by immunity idol)
B – 1
Noah – 8
Cody – 1
Ella – 3
Izzy – 2
Emma – 1
Kitty – 6 (Eliminated 27th by rigged tiebreaker)
Junior – 12 (Eliminated 17th)
Sierra – 5
Topher – 0
Beth – 6 (Eliminated 19th)
Brady – 8 (Eliminated 23rd)
Justin – 0
Katie – 6 (Eliminated 25th)
Sadie – 0
Lorenzo – 5 (Eliminated 24th by tiebreaker)
Mary – 8 (Eliminated 16th)
Brick – 0
Ennui – 5
Crimson – 2
Scott – 35 (Eliminated 21st)
Phil – 2 (Eliminated 8th by rigged votes)
Heather – 30
Lindsay – 2
Taylor – 8
Alejandro – 30
Devin – 3
Carrie – 0
Ryan – 0
Stephanie – 0
Miles – 1
Laurie – 0
Anne Maria – 12 (Eliminated 12th)
Lauren – 4 (Eliminated 22nd)
Cameron – 0
Mike – 0
Eva – 2
DJ – 2
Sam – 0
Scarlett – 2
Max – 7 (Eliminated 15th)
Rodney – 11 (Eliminated 11th by rigged tiebreaker)
Zeke – 8 (Eliminated 18th by rigged tiebreaker)
Sugar – 49
Sanders – 0
MacArthur – 0
Zoey – 1
Gwen – 14 (Eliminated 28th)
Leshawna – 0
Jazz – 1 (Eliminated 14th by rigged votes)
Trent – 12 (Eliminated 26th)
Harold – 2
Ellody – 15 (Eliminated 9th)
Chet – 11 (Eliminated 6th)
Leonard – 13 (Eliminated 2nd)
Tammy – 14 (Eliminated 3rd)
Dawn – 0
Leshaniqua – 5 (Eliminated 4th)
Shawn – 0
Lightning – 19
Jo – 10
Amy – 32
Sammy – 2
Jasmine – 0
Sky – 5
Mickey – 3 (Eliminated 13th)
Jay – 1
Tom – 0
Jen – 0
Dave – 4 (Eliminated 29th)
Geoff – 0
Bridgette – 0
Courtney – 13 (Eliminated 30th)
Duncan – 16
Tyler – 0
Rock – 7 (Eliminated 10th)
Spud – 8 (Eliminated 5th)
Staci – 6 (Eliminated 1st)
Beardo – 0
Jacques – 11
Josee – 27
Brody – 6 (Eliminated 20th)
Votes for Winner:
Owen – None
Dakota – N/A
B – None
Noah – Zeke (1)
Cody – Rodney (1)
Ella – Leonard, Tammy (2)
Izzy – None
Emma – Kitty, Courtney (2)
Kitty – N/A
Junior – N/A
Sierra – None
Topher – None
Beth – N/A
Brady – N/A
Justin – Lauren (1)
Katie – N/A
Sadie – Dakota, Katie (2)
Lorenzo – Mary (1)
Mary – Ellody (1)
Brick – None
Ennui – Lorenzo (1)
Crimson – None
Scott – N/A
Phil – N/A
Heather – None
Lindsay – Beth (1)
Taylor – Anne Maria (1)
Alejandro – None
Devin – Junior (1)
Carrie – None
Ryan – None
Stephanie – None
Miles – None
Laurie – None
Anne Maria – N/A
Lauren – N/A
Cameron – None
Mike – None
Eva – None
DJ – Brady (1)
Sam – None
Scarlett – Max (1)
Max – N/A
Rodney – N/A
Zeke – N/A
Sugar – None
Sanders – None
MacArthur – None
Zoey – None
Gwen – N/A
Leshawna – Leshaniqua, Jazz (2)
Jazz – N/A
Trent – N/A
Harold – Trent (1)
Ellody – Chet (1)
Chet – N/A
Leonard – N/A
Tammy – N/A
Dawn – None
Leshaniqua – N/A
Shawn – None
Lightning – None
Jo – None
Amy – None
Sammy – Gwen (1)
Jasmine – None
Sky – Dave (1)
Mickey – N/A
Jay – Mickey (1)
Tom – N/A
Jen – Tom (1)
Dave – N/A
Geoff – Brody (1)
Bridgette – Staci (1)
Courtney – Scott (1)
Duncan – None
Tyler – Phil (1)
Rock – Spud (1)
Spud – N/A
Staci – N/A
Beardo – None
Jacques – None
Josee – None
Brody – Rock (1)
After the Aftermath:
"...and now, the winner for Best Cast in a New Show – Total Drama!" On the TV, Gwen, her mother, and her younger brother Ed watched Chris saunter up to the podium and shoo away the announcement lady. Blaineley clapped for him enthusiastically.
"Thank you! You're too kind!" Chris beamed. Many households watched his speech.
"Y'know, I was dropped by my old network when I couldn't pull in the ratings like I used to."
"And for good reason!" Phil snapped.
"But now, I've been given a chance to shine again!"
"SO not cool," Rock said to Spud, who nodded in agreement.
"How long is this gonna TAKE?!" Jazz groaned.
"Too long," Leshaniqua replied dryly.
Back on the island, the remaining fifty-four kids glared at the screen on the tiny TV. "...and to sum it up, this show is only possible because of me and Blaineley!"
And around Canada, the eighty-four kids who he'd made suffer had only two words to say in response:
"BULL [S WORD]!"