Review time!
Joel Connell: Thanks! One of the perks of me being a member of a cathemeral (sleeping at random intervals throughout the day as opposed to all at once) species is that I can be fully awake at midnight no problem. Staci hosted it in Blaineley's place because she's the first contestant eliminated, and I'm glad you like her development. Aftermaths VI and VII will take us even closer to the revelation of who exactly fought Chris way back when. I've read Finding One's Self, wish it updated more often; I'll go check the others you mentioned too. And yes, Suckers Punched IS going to be adapted in Season Three and Emma WILL be fighting Jake! Oh, and thanks for the update! Yeah, totally an Izzy move right there XD .
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! Writing action scenes without dialogue is extremely tedious, so I don't bother with describing everything happening in them.
Knight: Stick around and you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Saturday, December 9, 2017
"Last time on Total Drama – we tooted our own horns and blew our own whistles! [Eva abducting Tom] Three [Duncan talking to Owen] train [Sammy leering at Amy] teams [Tyler falling apart] and one mole [Sadie sneaking away] battled for the right to take me to the station! [Chris getting into the car] There were many clever plans [Sam jumping Tom] and many underhanded moves! [Previously unseen footage of Sugar throwing Heather into the power generator for the catenary lines, dooming the Enforcing Electrics to immobility] Samey and Amy finally put aside their differences and worked together to win it for the Devious Diesels! [Prescott twins snatching Chris' car] The Enforcing Electrics got in second thanks to a cool design! [The car checkerboard] And the Super Steamers lost it. Thanks to the revival of Mike's evil side [Mal's return], Courtney got the boot because of her old elimination chart. [Courtney's elimination] Yeah, probably should've lit that on fire back in September, eh, Court?"
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "I'm back from the Gemmys to bring you some more fun! Fifty-four contestants remain. Who's going to drum up the drama and who'll become a flop? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, hitting a passing Harold in the groin. Jacques laughed at him, but stopped when he saw Leshawna glaring at him.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the snowy island, passing Chris getting pampered by a disgusted Phil, Jo and Eva arm-wrestling, Dave attempting to flirt with Sky, Trent performing a song in front of an approving Ella, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Jasmine fighting a mutated anglerfish.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the few animals still awake during winter. Then Dawn showed up. DJ invited her to join them, while the Vegans glared at her.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on the frozen lake in a game of hockey. Josee knocked the puck so hard it went flying right into one of B's inventions on the other side of the lake. Bridgette and Geoff watched, then the latter pulled out a card reading "7.5".
*Instrumental*
Owen trudged across the ice covering the river, which quickly broke under his weight. He jumped out of the water shivering. From afar, Sasquatchanakwa rolled his eyes as if to say "lightweight". Then Izzy appeared behind him and knocked him to the ground, before pulling out a camera and taking a picture of her catch.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Mike looked into a mirror and smiled at what he saw. His reflection included those of his alternate personalities, who were happily admiring their looks. Then an emo version of Mike, with his hair flipped over his face, suddenly appeared in the back, frightening everyone.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef roasted the remains of a mutated rat in the cafeteria over the stove in front of the campers. Ryan and Stephanie looked at each other, then back at Chef with their game faces on. Behind them, Tyler, Lindsay, Zoey, Cameron, Sam, and Lightning mingled.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Amy attempted to tackle Sammy, but Cody appeared and shoved her aside, before pulling Sammy into a hug. Behind them, Sierra cursed to herself.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Courtney, Duncan, and Gwen watched Sugar engage in a slap-fight with MacArthur to Sanders' disapproval. Courtney was holding Duncan's hand, but the latter was secretly checking out Gwen.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Carrie and Devin sat together in the Climate Hall, the one warm part of the island left, when it suddenly began raining, and then the door opened, causing both to get very cold. It turned out Alejandro had been responsible. He grinned evilly at the camera. But he didn't notice Brick spying on him. Brick's eyes narrowed.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher chatted with Dakota, who was busy with intern work. Behind them, Scarlett breathed a sigh of relief as she looked behind the good cabin. Because of the colder weather, the lustblossoms were dormant.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and then Justin interrupted the moment by appearing between them. They gave him immediate death glares, causing him to run off. The couple looked back at the camera with raised eyebrows.
Devious Diesels
"Still can't get over how much more awesome the food is here," Justin noted. His team had, of course, gotten the good cabin.
"I know, cinnamon buns are awesome!" Cody agreed, biting off a piece of the spiral.
"Like my cinnamon buns?" Noah asked wryly.
"Only Emma thinks so," the Slick Geek laughed.
"Is that how you eat cinnamon buns?" Justin asked.
"It's the best way!" Cody replied. "Bite off the beginning of the spiral on the outside and work your way to the delicious gooey center!" He continued eating. "Wish they were less messy though," he said through his full cheeks.
"There you are!" Emma sat herself down with the boys. Noah made a mental note in his mind to talk to her soon. He was putting it off for far too long.
Super Steamers
"This stuff is NOT awesome," Geoff frowned at his glop.
"Take it or leave it," Chef deadpanned.
"Well, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so I'll take it." But as Geoff left, he muttered, "How'd he even get a hair in this? He's bald!"
"Ever heard of eyebrows?" Ennui asked monotonously.
Confessional – Geoff.
"Right, I forgot eyebrows and eyelashes exist. Hey, I think that's what hair SpongeBob said he was getting cut! Wow, that's a lot more PG than everyone thinks it is!"
"HOW DO YOU FORGET THAT EYEBROWS AND EYELASHES EXIST?!" Miles exclaimed from outside the confessional. The door swung open and Geoff saw her face.
"I just do." He paused. "I think the door is broken."
"Looks like it."
Some time later
"Hello everyone! Miss me?" Chris asked the teens at the campfire.
"Uh, no! Why would you think we did?" MacArthur asked.
"Because Chris is a moron?" Heather snarked.
"Ha ha ha, that's so funny I forgot how to laugh. Well at least I'm not the one whose alliance is no longer existent." While Heather spluttered incoherently, Chris smiled. "Anyway, we're going to do some very fun challenges today in the theater. So break into the Screaming Gophers and Killer Bass!" They did so. "Do you guys like music?"
"Depends on what the music is," Ryan said.
"In that case, I hope you like rock! Today we're going to do the things that rockstars do. First, you need to play part of a piece of music of my choosing. The Screaming Gophers won in the Aftermath, so you guys get a book on how to play the guitar!"
"Uh...I already know how to play the guitar?" Cody asked.
"Then help your team, duh!" He tsked under his breath. "When that's done, you must avoid the paparazzi! You will walk the red carpet without being hit in the face or other extremities with cardboard cutouts. After that, you will trash an old trailer I considered housing you guys in before I got the cabins! Oh, and since we're short on time, only part of each team can do each thing. Good luck!"
Screaming Gophers: Heather, Sugar, Jo, Izzy, Scarlett, Tom, Alejandro, Jacques, Josee, Ryan, Miles, Laurie, Devin, Emma, Sammy, Cody, Lindsay, Owen, Leshawna, Noah, Sierra, Jen, Jasmine, Sky, Zoey, and Justin.
Killer Bass: Bridgette, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Geoff, Harold, Sadie, Tyler, Taylor, Dawn, Carrie, Sanders, MacArthur, Brick, B, Ennui, Crimson, Stephanie, Amy, Cameron, Jay, Shawn, Sam, Ella, Beardo, Lightning, Mal, and Topher.
Screaming Gophers
"Obviously Cody and Justin are going to be doing the guitar part for us," Sky said. "And we've got a little help from the book, so that'll make it easier."
"Seeing that there are twenty-six of us, I think it would be best if we split into three groups, one of eight and two of nine," Alejandro said. "We may want to alternate them so we get more points when playing the piece. The more the merrier, after all. And I do believe I should also participate in haciendo la musica."
"Okay, so now we just need six people for that bit."
"Ah can do it!" Sugar said, flailing her pudgy hand.
"Wouldn't you be better at...trashing the trailer?" Tom asked.
Sugar's eyes lit up. "Yeah! I'd love to show that no-good hunka junk what for! RAAAAH!"
Confessional – Tom.
"See, I think I've figured Sugar out completely. Distract her with something else that she'd be better at, and she won't mess up something important." He sighed. "She'd suck at the avoiding-the-paparazzi part, that's for sure."
Killer Bass
"I'm gonna do the guitar bit, because I don't feel right hurting a brother," DJ said. "Even IF they're made of cardboard."
"Me too," Bridgette agreed. "Harold, since you're the only one of us with any musical experience, you're going to have to teach us."
"Sweet! Master Steve's Music Camp prepared me for such a scenario!" Harold beamed. "Anyone else want in?"
"Since there's twenty-eight of us, we should have two groups of nine and one group of ten," Cameron said. "Now who to go where..."
Some time later
"Okay everyone, it's high noon, and you know what that means!"
"Time to mock the Pharmmetra shippers?" Topher asked.
"...what?" Chris asked extremely confused. "And aren't you supposed to be on my side, mini-me? Anyway, first round is up! You must play our theme song PERFECTLY or your team won't get the advantage for the second part!
"Screaming Gophers, you're up!"
Scarlett, Alejandro, Justin, Cody, Zoey, Leshawna, Sammy, Devin, and Jacques had opted to do this bit. With a nod from Justin, the nine of them began playing the theme song's instrumental.
Once they were done, Chris looked at his phone, which had an app that evaluated musical quality. "Not bad at all! Ninety-six percent perfect! Killer Bass, it's your turn now!"
For the Killer Bass, Harold, DJ, Bridgette, Dawn, Carrie, Ennui, Crimson, Ella, Jay, and Sam were on this part. They played as well, however their timing was noticeably more off and not all the notes were hit correctly. When their jam session ended, Chris shook his head. "Eighty-five percent perfect. You don't get the advantage, which is...more obvious trigger buttons for the paparazzi!"
"Hey, eighty-five percent is pretty good for your first time playing!" Jay said indignantly.
"Most true," Dawn agreed.
"Trigger buttons? I don't believe you mentioned those," Sam said.
"It would've spoiled the surprise!"
Confessional – Carrie.
"I'll take a spoiled surprise over losing my life any time," Carrie said flatly. "Even IF they aren't the life-threatening kind, I still want to be prepared."
"Yes, the paparazzi are summoned by buttons hidden underneath the carpet. The fewer of them that you summon, the more points you will get. To make the buttons more obvious, we're gonna spray-paint them silver. That is, AFTER the Killer Bass have their go!" Chris turned to the camera. "So how WILL it go? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris said to the audience. "We've gone onto part two of today's challenge! So let's get it started!" He pulled out a boombox and started playing "Paparazzi" on it.
Killer Bass
"Way to set the mood, Chris," Duncan snarked. He, along with Shawn, Tyler, Beardo, Sanders, Stephanie, "Mike", Topher, and Amy tread along the carpet carefully.
"I dunno, I kinda like this song!" Tyler sang along to it. "I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love mE!" He stepped on a button and a cardboard cutout whipped out and whapped him on the butt.
"That crazy song is more in line for a psycho like Sierra," Amy grumbled. Then she stepped on a button and a cutout of Justin Bieber popped out. She screamed and decked it so hard its head was broken off.
"Luckily, I have crazy zombie-dodging skills," Shawn said, expertly avoiding the buttons.
"How are you doing that?" "Mike" asked.
"There are tiny little bumps under the carpet where the buttons are." He pointed to the ground and they watched Topher step on an almost unnoticeable lump that triggered the emergence of a Celine Dion cutout. Duncan shrieked and ran to the end, triggering several more paparazzi.
Mal considered this and came up with a devious plan.
"Okay, seventeen out of thirty cutouts were triggered. Screaming Gophers, there's a pretty good chance that you'll do better. Paint it up!"
Dudley and a short, pudgy, glasses-wearing intern named Simon complied, spray-painting silver spots onto the carpet according to where their diagram said the trigger buttons, which were turned off at the moment, were. After they were done, Chris turned them back on again, then began playing the song once more.
For this part, Tom, Noah, Emma, Miles, Laurie, Sky, Jasmine, and Lindsay had decided to do it.
"This is gonna be so much easier!" Tom said confidently. He avoided a spot. "See?" But then he stepped on one, which wasn't where the paint spot said it was, and a cutout popped out. "Aw, nuts!" He tried to avoid another spot, but the same thing happened. And kept happening. "AUGH!"
The cutouts were closing in. Noah got jumpscared by a cutout of Seth Rogen. "Woah!"
"GET [F WORD]ED, DRUG ADDICT!" Emma roared, tackling it and punching it.
"Emma, calm down! It's not a big deal!"
Emma realized what she was doing and stopped. "Oh. What came over me?"
"I don't know, but I think we need to talk. You don't seem to be in the right state of mind right now. Sure, Hot Dog Palooza was a weird movie and encouraged use of illegal and toxic substances, but you didn't need to overreact to Sam's basis."
"Noah, I can assure you, except for right now, I am FINE!" And she marched off. Noah looked concerned.
Then he saw a cutout of Drake and bopped it in the nose. "Heh. I always wanted to do that."
"Twenty-six out of thirty cutouts triggered. You guys sucked hard," Chris said, clicking his tongue in disappointment.
"No, TOM sucked hard," Jacques growled.
"If that's a play at my assumed sexuality, then you're wrong." Tom groaned. "Why does everyone think I'm gay?!"
"Because some people are stuck in the past," Crimson said monotonously.
"Chris, what the heck? I thought you were doin' this right!" Chef grunted.
"I did! This wasn't me this time."
A bit earlier, while the cutouts were being cleaned up, Mal snuck under the carpet and rearranged the trigger buttons. He snuck away and laughed maniacally.
Mike's Mind
Mike sighed sadly in the deep pit in his brain where Mal had imprisoned him. "This is bad...Mal's back and I'm gonna take the fall for it." He hit his head against the brainwall. "Think, Mike, think! What would your friends do in this situation?"
Suddenly, a tiny copy of Owen, albeit colored in Mike's palette, appeared and ate the chains holding Mike, then disappeared. "All right! Now, what would Jasmine do?" A copy of Jasmine appeared above the crevice and snaked her hand down into it. Mike grabbed it and let it pull him out, before it disappeared.
Mike grinned. "Now to find the others!" And quickly and quietly, he snuck off.
"Well, whatever happened, it did, so the Killer Bass get the advantage! Their thing? Sledgehammers!" Chris, in the real world, pointed to a crate full of sledgehammers. "Those of you who haven't gone yet, get into your trailers and [f word] it UP! Whoever does it more in five minutes wins!"
Two trailers, each eighty feet long and fifteen feet wide, were rolled up to where the kids were standing. "Those look so cool! I could totally live in one of those," Owen gushed excitedly.
"You by yourself, yes. But a team of thirty-six?" Ryan asked skeptically.
"Oh yeah, I forgot. Guess we should be glad we got the cabins, huh?"
Screaming Gophers
Of the team, only Heather, Sugar, Jo, Izzy, Josee, Ryan, Owen, Sierra, and Jen hadn't gone yet, leaving them on wrecker duty.
"Take that!" Sierra exclaimed as she pitched a ceramic mug at the trailer's wall, only for it to bounce off and tumble onto the floor with minimal damage. "What the heck?"
"Yer not doin' it right!" Sugar grabbed the mug and then threw it straight down, causing it to crack in half. "See?"
At the back end of the trailer, Owen was tearing apart curtains. "I clogged the toilet!" Izzy announced cheerfully as she exited the bathroom. After making sure no one else was listening, she put her head on her boyfriend's shoulder. "So who should we vote for if we lose?" she whispered.
"Hm...I think maybe Heather. Now that her alliance is gone she's got less people to vote with her. And people don't like her."
"You really think I'm going to WHAT?" they heard Heather screech.
"Lickin' a doorknob's nothin'!" they heard Sugar retort.
"See?"
"Yeah, I do," Jen said as she approached.
"Hey, you're not in the alliance!" Izzy scolded.
"No, but I don't like Heather either, and I think my brother's going to get the boot if we don't act. Think about it; Heather's boyfriend-of-sorts has a powerful alliance. If Alejandro's gonna keep Heather in the game, someone else has to get the boot."
"And Al's not above convincing people to vote his way!" Owen realized.
"Uh...you sure? He seems pretty reasonable."
"He's evil under the hood, Noah said so," Izzy explained. "Miss Diva it is."
"Okay, five minutes are up!" Chris said. He opened the trailer and looked inside. "Not bad, but could be better. Killer Bass, you're up!"
Killer Bass
"Sha-bam you [crunch], sha-bam you [tinkle], and sha-bam YOU!" Lightning said as he swung his hammer excitedly, breaking random things in the trailer. He, along with Eva, Geoff, Sadie, Taylor, MacArthur, Brick, B, and Cameron were the last of their team to do something in the challenge.
"Ugh..." Cameron winced, struggling to pick up his hammer.
"Ha! Wimp! Now sha-Lightning's gonna take y'all to victory!"
"We are so voting him out if we lose," Eva muttered to Brick as they destroyed the kitchen sink.
"I would like him out as much as you do, dear cousin of mine," Brick replied. "But given how badly Tom did during the catwalk, the Gophers are more likely to lose."
Eva nodded. "Say, Brick, have you noticed something...off about Mike?"
"A little bit, yes," Brick admitted. "For as long as I've known him ever since I switched out of military school and transferred here sophomore year, I've only known Mike to be nervous and not confident all the time. But now? He seems a lot more sure of himself. Quieter, too. Don't rightfully know what that means."
"Mike said he's got a rogue personality, right?" MacArthur asked as she returned from puking in the fridge. "A guy who's got the best parts of all of his other selves times two. What if he's back, and he wants us out so he can get the money to screw us all over?"
"Then we're royally out of luck," Brick sighed.
"Dude, you can curse on this show, you know."
Cameron overheard the conversation and gulped. Mike had complained about a splitting headache he'd gotten from hitting his head on the ceiling of the Drama Mine during the hamster ball challenge. If his suspicions were correct, then everyone was in grave danger.
"Wow, okay, not bad! Like the creative use of vomit!" Chris complimented the Bass.
"I try," MacArthur shrugged bashfully.
"Therefore, you guys win! Meet me at the campfire at eight, Screaming Gophers, you didn't scream quite loud enough!"
"Can't you just go back to the days when you just said someone was going home?" Scarlett asked.
"Nope, not a chance!"
Confessional – Noah.
"No, Emma, you are NOT okay," Noah grumbled. "I'll have to try again in a couple days once she's calmed down." He wrote HEATHER on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Scarlett.
"Seeing that my last interaction with Chris didn't go so well, I doubt I'll be able to change his mind." She wrote DEVIN on a piece of paper. "I am sorry, Devin, but I need to weaken Alejandro's power over him. Plus, you have been quite ignorant of Carrie's feelings for you and are reluctant to drop your horrendous partner. If I can even call Shelley that."
Confessional – Jo.
"Yeah, Tom messed us up badly. It's like, maybe Chris was, y'know, lying about changing the positions of the buttons?" She wrote TOM on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Ryan.
"Alejandro said Tom needs to go because he could mess up a physical challenge really bad," Ryan said. He wrote TOM on a piece of paper. "I mean, he had an off day, man! Harsh."
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Close shot of twenty-six marshmallows, a mere five colored. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got because I think drama rocks. And hey, the colored ones are kinda like vowels! Because there are twenty-six of them."
"We get it, get on with it!" Heather grumbled.
"White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Jo, Izzy, Alejandro, Jacques, Josee, Ryan, Miles, Laurie, Emma, Sammy, Cody, Lindsay, Owen, Leshawna, Noah, Sierra, Jen, Jasmine, Sky, Zoey, and Justin." They all got up and got their marshmallows.
When they were done, Chris pointed to the blue marshmallow. "Blue means you received only one vote against you. Devin, come on up."
"Huh, when was the last time I got one of those?" Devin asked himself as he got it.
Next, Chris pointed to the two green marshmallows. "Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. This time Sugar has six and Scarlett has the pair."
"I wonder who mine were from," Scarlett mused.
"Me, because the mad science thing makes you a threat in case of a trivia challenge," Justin explained.
"And also me for the same reason," Zoey added. "No hard feelings?"
"Of course not."
Two colored marshmallows were left. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, but are safe. Red means you're done. Heather. Tom."
Heather gave Alejandro a look.
"Heather, you've been mean to almost everyone here. Tom, you haven't, but you didn't do so well in today's challenge. With only a single vote less...
...
...
...
...
"Heather stays another day!"
Heather sighed, relieved. Tom groaned, and the Misfits facepalmed.
Confessional – Cody.
"Apparently, Sierra voted for Tom, and Sammy for Sugar," Cody explained. "Sierra for practical reasons, Sammy because she's sick of Sugar's crap. Man, I should've used my closeness with them to sway their votes for Heather instead."
"I should've voted for Heather, you're right," Sammy agreed as she entered the outhouse. "We could've stuck her in a tiebreaker. And it would've been the ultimate revenge for her enabling Amy's ego if Tom won it."
An awkward pause.
"We really need to get this door fixed," Cody remarked.
"Agreed."
"I'll see to it that it is," Chris said. He walked along the red carpet, the buttons finally in their proper places again. "Thirty-one down. Fifty-three remain. Who'll ride the highway to victory and who'll fail so hard they'll need a spinal tap? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Chris stepped on a button and got clocked on the head by a cutout of Justin Trudeau, who was frowning at him.
Votes:
Heather – Tom
Sugar – Tom
Jo – Tom
Izzy – Heather
Scarlett – Devin
Tom – Heather
Alejandro – Tom
Jacques – Tom
Josee – Tom
Ryan – Tom
Miles – Sugar
Laurie – Sugar
Devin – Tom
Emma – Heather
Sammy – Sugar
Cody – Heather
Lindsay – Heather
Owen – Heather
Leshawna – Sugar
Noah – Heather
Sierra – Tom
Jen – Heather
Jasmine – Sugar
Sky – Sugar
Zoey – Scarlett
Justin – Scarlett
Results: 9-8-6-2-1 Tom-Heather-Sugar-Scarlett-Devin
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo (t), Katie, Trent, Kitty, Gwen, Dave, Courtney, Tom
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Owen, Carrie, Tyler, Sammy, Lindsay, Devin, Eva (Noah), Geoff (Geoff), Justin (Ella), Duncan (Alejandro)
Future eliminations immunized against: Emma (3)
Bonus clip:
"Okay, I might get into a ton of trouble for this, but it's for the greater good of everyone," Simon gulped.
"Do it, buddy," Dakota said. Simon pressed a button and an old tape played:
About two weeks earlier
Chris knew Gwen was going to go to the confessional after the elimination ceremony, so he quickly dissected the outhouse's lock and removed the mechanism that let it hold shut, before reassembling it. Now that the confessional couldn't lock, his plan to divert the audience's attention to the Courtcanwen love triangle could proceed. He smiled darkly and left, tossing the mechanism in his hand.