Review time!
Lara2244: I've been planning it since THD was in its early days! Nice to see it finally come true after nearly three years in the making. Alejandro will pay quite soon, and don't worry, they'll be coming back! After all, SOME PEOPLE have itchy suing fingers, and Chris would HATE having a lawsuit with his name on it.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: That's how desperate people get when their lives are on the line!
FreneticGrape87: Thanks!
Fox Boss: Of course Kitty's not paired off with Izzy and Owen, she's dating Junior. Also, Sugar stayed way longer than she should have in canon, which is reflected here, but once they find out who helped Alejandro she won't last for much longer.
Joel Connell: Thanks! The last chapter was based on The Ex-Files; since Courtney, Gwen, and Duncan aren't here anymore, I had to rejigger it. They're ALL coming back, Chris broke a rule so the elimination will eventually be rescinded when he gets put under pressure by the parents of a previous eliminee. The mass elimination also ensures that I'll have eighty-four episodes as the episode it occurs in takes the place of the elimination of the eventual champion. I haven't read Generations yet, but in this outbreak I'll read anything. Your DA info wasn't recognized by anyone; try sending me a note, I'm on DeviantArt too although I hardly use it these days.
Derek Lindsey: Chris deliberately made the idols OP. He's Chris, why the heck wouldn't he?
Idkwhatmynameis: They're getting there!
decoy73: You guessed correctly!
Friday, January 26, 2018
"Last time on Total Drama – we were out of this world! [Cody talking about the turnips he'd just come up with] Our alternate gem teams tried their hand at designing extraterrestrials. [Owen showing his rough, oh so very rough, draft] Then they went out and looked for them! [Harold dropping the jar on Heather's foot] But there was drama all around last episode. Devin got wise to Alejandro's scheming [Devin getting pulled aside], and Sugar found Noah's secret stash of immunity idols! [Sugar opening the chest] However, instead of playing them all herself, Sugar finally used what little brain she had to get Alejandro off her back for the rest of the show! [Sugar and Alejandro making their deal] And with that, we got our biggest elimination in Total Drama history! [The mass elimination]"
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Thirty-eight, thirty-seven, thirty-six, thirty-five, thirty-four, thirty-three, thirty-two, thirty-one, thirty, and twenty-nine contestants remain. Who'll light up their actions, and who'll fall into the crawlspace of history? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, but this time Harold jumped clear of it, only to hit his head on a low-hanging branch.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the snowy island, passing Chris looking out at the world from the comfort of his room, Brick trying to learn how to channel another song, Sam playing one of his videogames, Lindsay making a snowman, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Shawn running away from a once-again awake Scuba Bear.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the few animals still awake during winter. DJ looked at a drawing of Dawn he'd made for an art class and sighed wistfully.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on the banks of the frozen lake in a snowball fight. Taylor ended up throwing her snowball at a tree, which dumped snow all over Heather, much to Taylor and Josee's delight.
*Instrumental*
Owen trudged across the ice covering the river, then slipped and faceplanted into the snowbanks. Geoff and Bridgette immediately rushed over to help him up.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Jo and Zoey climbed to the top of Bluegrass Hill, where Jo let out a roar that triggered an avalanche beneath them. Jo smiled sheepishly at a confused Zoey.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was making dinner, and Tyler, Sanders, MacArthur, Beardo, and Ella were eying his no-longer-deliberately-bad cooking hungrily.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sammy and Cody were making out, and with one of his hands facing backwards Cody accepted a high-five from Sierra.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Eva, Leshawna, Sky, and Jasmine worked out in the Drama Gym, although Sky was struggling with her weights.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Alejandro had lit the campfire and was standing behind it ominously. Devin and Carrie, unbeknownst to him, were watching, and Carrie raised an eyebrow at Devin as if to say "See? I told you he was evil."
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher chatted with Dakota, who was busy with intern work. Behind them, Scarlett was pushing around a snowblowing machine she'd recently invented.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and Jen appeared between them to show off some new designs. Though slightly miffed, Noah and Emma shrugged and struck up a conversation with her.
Team E-Scope
"You okay?" Emma asked.
Noah turned away from the window and sighed. "I knew it was going to happen eventually. That someone whose idol I'd found would get voted off, leading to the discovery of the cache, and someone would try to exploit it. But Alejandro going out and actually getting it? That caught me offguard. It's the shock of it all that's mostly getting to me."
"I don't think Alejandro found it himself," she remarked. "He wasn't in that area last challenge, remember? And I don't think he would've been willing or even able to search for it that night, when it was too dark to see anything. I think someone helped him."
"Couldn't be the Ice Dancers or Heather, they weren't in that area either," he replied. "But I don't recall there being anyone on the Kunzites he's got under his thumb."
"So...now what?"
Noah sighed. "For the first time in a long time, I'm afraid I don't know."
Some time later
"Alright, everybody!" Chris said cheerfully. "My, it's gonna be hard to get used to seeing so few of you so early! But don't worry, I'll adjust."
"Us? Worried about you? Chris, haven't you been paying ANY attention since episode one?" Jen snapped. "We! Do not! Like you!"
"Not now, Jen, it's hard to deal with my best friend getting sent back already," Sanders said bitterly.
Chris coughed. "Can we focus, people? We're wasting daylight here, and January doesn't exactly have very much of that as it is!"
"Yeah, alright," Sanders sighed.
Chris smiled. "Well now! As you know, we are on television. But we are not scripted! But there was a time when you would've been! But the life of an actor is no easy feat! Especially if you're not the actor, but the stage crew!"
"So what, are we acting out a play?" Taylor asked.
"In a sense. One person from each team will have to act something out for Chef, and whoever gets him to laugh first wins the challenge! But first, you gotta set up the stage. And before you can do that, you've gotta pick your teams!"
"And who'll be doing that?" DJ wanted to know.
"Why, our near-eliminees from last Tuesday! Alejandro, Kristen, you'll be the captains for the Party Quirks and the Weird Newscasters respectively!"
"Who the heck is Kristen?" Harold asked. Then everybody turned to look at Crimson, who seemed to actually be seething underneath her makeup. "...Oh," he said in a very small voice as it finally dawned on him that very few people would willingly name their child "Crimson".
"If it makes you feel any better, which I doubt it will," Ennui said monotonously, "my real name is Einar."
"Yeah, we'll stick with the goth names, they definitely have a lot more...rhythm than your real ones do," Justin agreed nervously.
"Begin!" Chris announced.
Alejandro thought for a moment. "Sanders."
Crimson, having calmed down, went next. "Geoff."
"Josee."
"Leshawna."
"DJ."
"Zoey."
"Emma."
"Sam."
"Jacques."
"Ennui."
"Brick."
"Jasmine."
"Miles."
"Bridgette."
"Jo."
"Harold."
"Scarlett."
"Sky."
"Heather."
"Taylor."
"Sierra."
"Jen."
"Cody."
"Noah."
"Justin."
"Shawn."
"And that leaves Sugar with the Quirks!" Chris finished.
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Crimson (captain), Geoff, Leshawna, Zoey, Sam, Ennui, Jasmine, Bridgette, Harold, Sky, Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn.
"So...how will we be setting up the stage?" Josee asked. "Because I do not recall having any formal training in the matter."
"Simple!" Chris replied. "In front of the Mess Hall will be two piles of ten bags each. Quirks get purple and Newscasters get teal. Your job is to take these bags, one at a time, to the Drama Theater, and whichever team gets all ten of them there first wins part one! Good luck!"
Party Quirks
"Oof!" Emma hissed, trying to pick up the smallest of the bags, which was about the size of a standard backpack. "This is heavy!"
"Only because you are weak!" Jacques smirked. "I can handle it!" Emma moved aside and Jacques tried to pick up the bag himself, but failed. "...never mind."
"It's like Chris filled it with rocks," DJ remarked.
"He did fill them with rocks," Jo replied, unzipping one of the other bags and peering inside of it before zipping it shut. "Hey, at least they aren't books."
"Why, what's wrong with reading?" Brick asked.
"Books are extremely dense. Ever try to move a box of them? Trust me, I had to help my sister move out when she went to college and her boxes of books were the heaviest things there."
Brick considered this. "You have a point..."
"So what say you, oh good captain?" Heather asked.
"You flatter me, Heather," Alejandro smiled. "I believe Sierra, DJ, Jacques, Josee, Jo, and myself should be the ones to carry the bags, since we are the physically strongest people on the team. Sugar, Heather, Justin, and Miles can help us if we drop one of the bags. Emma, Brick, Sanders, Cody, and Scarlett can clear any hazards from our paths so we do not trip."
"Geeze, Al, way to show your biases," Cody grumbled. Alejandro's eye twitched with rage. "On second thought, yep, gonna throw any rocks I find in your paths into next week, heh heh pleasedon'tkillme."
"Better," Alejandro smirked, relaxing. "If we are ready," he began, hoisting the small bag with relative ease, "we shall begin."
Confessional – Heather.
"HA!" she crowed. "What Alejandro did was beautiful! Not only did he speed up the end of the show so that we're going to actually get back to class in time for the end of the school year, but he put the Misfits in their place! No more schemes, no more plotting from Wodeyawn...life's gonna be a breeze!"
Confessional – Sanders.
"Heather, do the world a favor and [f word] right off the island into Lake Huron," Sanders grumbled.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"I'll admit, my new immunity is proving quite alluring to my lover," Alejandro mused. He chuckled. "However, there will come a time when I will be forced to cut her off. And quite frankly, I'd like her gone before my immunity wears off." He scoffed. "Of course, considering I played diez idolas, I think my position in the Final Ten is guaranteed."
He was wrong, of course, but he was too caught up in his own hubris to notice. And that would come to bite him in the well-sculpted rear very, very soon.
Newscasters
"Man, these things are heavy!" Zoey winced, trying to pick up one of the bags but failing.
"I know, dudette," Geoff agreed. Managing to pick up one of the bags, he continued to speak. "If Owen were here, he'd be able to help out with like, the bigger stuff, brah."
"Unfortunately, he isn't," Jen sighed.
"Don't remind me, today sucks enough as it is," Noah grumbled. "Sky, can you give me a hand with this one? If we carry it together we can get them all to the theater faster."
"Sure thing," Sky replied.
"I'll do my part too, mate," Jasmine agreed, picking up one of the bags.
"Only one?" Taylor scoffed. "Wimp."
"Taylor, I have to be careful not to overexert myself. After a certain height the human heart just can't keep up with heavy physical activity, and I'm pretty bleedin' close to that point."
"Besides," Crimson added, helping Shawn pick up another bag, "I don't see you helping."
"I'm too important to help."
"There is an X right there, and I shall press it to doubt you," Sam quipped.
"Rip," Bridgette agreed on seeing Taylor splutter uselessly at that.
Some time later
"That makes six bags," Alejandro said as his team dropped them off outside the Drama Theater. "Let us return!"
As the team turned around, Brick groaned and cracked his back. "Wow! I don't think I even knew about that muscle!"
"How could you not?" Scarlett asked, panting. "There are only...about six hundred forty in the human body, depending on the source you're using..." She groaned. "UGH."
"Tell me about it," Emma agreed, wiping her brow. "It's January in Canada, and I'm actually HOT!"
Up ahead, the two teams passed each other. "Hi guys!" Cody exclaimed.
"Hey dude!" Geoff replied.
While everyone else was distracted, Alejandro sneakily unclipped the back of Bridgette's bag. No one noticed until Bridgette stepped on a patch of snow, slipped, and fell over. The rocks inside her bag clattered out of the bag and onto the ground.
"Bridgette!" Taylor roared. "Thanks a [f word]ing lot, you klutzy clown! Now we've gotta wait for you to get your bag filled up again!"
"Not necessarily," Sam remarked. "If some of us stay to help her, the rest of us can go drop off our bags and save time."
"Nope!" Chris barked over the speakers. "If one person falls, the entire team has to stay behind to get them back up."
"When were you going to tell us THAT?" Leshawna griped.
"Now! Have fun picking up Bridgette's mess." The PA system fell silent.
"Maybe Heather's theory about Chris being the ultimate voyeur has some merit after all," Shawn commented.
"Heather? Merit?" Leshawna laughed. "Don't put those words in the same sentence, mister."
Confessional – Heather.
"HA! I TOLD you so!"
Some time later
Finally, the Newscasters dropped the last of their bags off at the theater. "We lost, didn't we?" Crimson sighed monotonously.
"Indeedy-do!" Chris agreed. "That's what you get when you choose Bridgette. Why did you choose her, anyway?"
Crimson shrugged. "She's one of the few people still here that are somewhat sane, yet not in a massive power block like E-Scope."
"I wouldn't call the Misfits a power block anymore," Chris grinned sadistically.
"You underestimate their perseverance, Mr. McLean."
Chris ignored her. "Welp, since the Party Quirks finished dropping off their stuff first, they win part one! Their advantage? They each get a second turn!"
"But how does that help us?" Sky asked.
"Find out after these messages!"
"...Chris, you know there's not much actual time elapsing between you saying that and welcoming the audience back."
"Oh, hush."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris announced to the audience. "Now for the second part of today's challenge. How many of you are familiar with the British-turned-American comedy show that is 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'"
"It's a bona fide classic," Cody chuckled.
"Well, you're in luck! This challenge will consist of attempting to make Chef laugh by reciting stuff we might see on the show! Whichever team gets to make him laugh first wins the challenge! Now, Chef has never seen that show before, so his reactions will be completely genuine."
Confessional – Chef.
"'Course I've seen it befo," Chef grumbled. "The years between Pretty Boy's sacking and Tot'l Drama's premiere got pretty [d word] boring. And I'm a dad, too, so I had to keep 'em occupied somehow."
Confessional – The Cast of Whose Line.
"Somehow getting royalties from a dinosaur isn't the weirdest thing we've done," Ryan remarked. He, Wayne, Aisha, and Colin were crammed into the confessional outhouse. "I blame Drew for that."
"Hey, at least the kid won't make any bald jokes," Colin shrugged. "Seeing that he's also of the hairless persuasion."
"Yeah, a dinosaur with thumbs. How do we know he's not gonna eat us?" Wayne asked.
"Oh come on, Wayne! He's a herbivore, he won't hurt us," Aisha scoffed.
"That's what they said about hippos..."
"Since the Quirks won the first half of the challenge, they'll be allowed to come back onstage and recite another line. Oh, and try to keep it family-friendly, guys," Chris finished.
"Isn't this show PG?" Sierra asked.
"Whose Line is 14+, Sierra," Noah explained.
"Oh! Right!"
"I'm confused," Zoey admitted.
"Canadian PG is more relaxed than American PG, mate," Jasmine explained.
"That explains a lot, actually."
Some time later
"Alright! I've put you into order based on when you were called onstage. Since the Party Quirks have one member more, after Sugar goes she'll go a second time and her team will work themselves in reverse," Chris explained. "We'll switch themes after every four people. Alright! Let's go!"
"Okay, let's see," Chef mused. "On today's episode, ham sandwich, Taylor Wells. Corned beef, Geoff van Lawson. Pulled pork, Sugar Thomassen. And French dip, Jacques Leblanc. And I'm Brian Hatchet, let's get this over with." He removed his hat and pulled out a piece of paper from inside it. "Love songs that will never be number one."
Still in:
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Crimson (captain), Geoff, Leshawna, Zoey, Sam, Ennui, Jasmine, Bridgette, Harold, Sky, Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn.
Alejandro: "I've been seeing your mother..."
Crimson: (flatly) "I think we should break up, that's right, break up right now. Because you dared to compare my rear end to a cow's."
"That would work as a break-up song if it had more emotion," Justin muttered to himself.
Sanders: "It's not that you're someone I hate, but I'm aromantic, so I don't date."
"Clever," Chef remarked, smiling a little.
"I have a feeling that Trent would appreciate that," Cody remarked. "What about you, Sanders?"
"Heteroromantic heterosexual myself, but I'm an ally tried and true," Sanders replied cheerfully.
Geoff: "So like, whaaaaaaaaaat is it you want for your birthday? Becaaaaaaaaaaaause you're giving me mixed signals here brah."
"New theme." Chef pulled out a new piece of paper. "The good news and the bad news."
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Leshawna, Zoey, Sam, Ennui, Jasmine, Bridgette, Harold, Sky, Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn.
Josee: "The good news is that we managed to save your legs. The bad news is that I'm holding them here in my hands."
Leshawna: "The good news is that you've won that radio contest you entered! The bad news is that your prize has, unfortunately, been claimed by somebody else."
"What kind of Kafka level crap is that?" Noah asked himself incredulously.
DJ: "The good news is that you've been promoted! The bad news is that your new boss is the 45th President of the United States."
"A sad truth," Chef sighed.
Zoey: "The good news is that the surgery was a success and we removed the tumor. The bad news is...well, look at yourself." She moved to the side, squatted, and put her hands underneath her head, pantomiming shock at finding out that her character was now just a disembodied head.
"Y'know, these jokes aren't very fresh, kiddies," Chris remarked sourly.
"Chris, I hate to break it to you, but we are teenagers with no formal training in comedic improvisation," Scarlett replied angrily. "Did you expect us to make better jokes?"
"I did, actually."
"New theme!" Chef barked loudly, silencing the bickering parties. "If children's TV shows were more realistic."
Confessional – Scarlett.
"I don't know if Chris is DELIBERATELY trying to make me snap, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was," Scarlett huffed. "He would do ANYTHING to increase his publicity."
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Sam, Ennui, Jasmine, Bridgette, Harold, Sky, Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn.
Emma: "Aren't you a little young to be building a roller coaster?" "Yes, yes we are." "Well, in that case, I'm calling the police."
"Dark," Jen said in awe.
Sam: "Can we fix it?" A beat. "Oh, right, you can't talk." He sighed almost wistfully. The contestants laughed a little at this, but Chef held his ground.
Jacques: "Please let this be a normal field trip." "With the Friz? ...yes, I suppose it will be."
Ennui: (deadpan) "Blue Skidoo, we can too." He pulled a crude drawing of a house out of his back pocket and proceeded to jump on it, only to fall on the floor instead of being transported into the drawing. "...ow."
Chef barely held in his laughter. "N-new theme! Things you can say about your boat, but not your lover."
Confessional – Jacques.
"Why does it not surprise me that M. Chef finds the pain of others funny?" Jacques groaned.
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Jasmine, Bridgette, Harold, Sky, Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn.
Brick: "Wow, what a big poop deck." This earned quite a few giggles, but not from Chef, who didn't find the joke very original.
Jasmine: "Is it always this wet, mate?"
Miles: "When was the last time this thing got swabbed?" she asked, pantomiming pulling out a large stick whose far end was completely covered in gross stuff.
Chef nearly laughed, but caught himself in time.
Bridgette: "I don't know about you, but I don't think that's supposed to leak like that."
"New theme," Chef said, pulling out another piece of paper. "Rejected superheroes."
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Harold, Sky, Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn.
Jo: "Look, over there! It's Dynamite Gal!" She pretended to explode, then flopped to the ground and mimed being dead.
"How would she even know what her power was if it kills her?" Harold muttered to himself.
"I suppose you can make a better one?" Jo asked, raising an eyebrow as she got up off the floor.
"I do!" He scurried over to the center of the stage as Jo left, giving him a weird look.
Harold: "Behold, the awesome mightiness of...THE PLASTIC STRAW!" He pulled all his limbs together and flopped to the ground as though he really was just a plastic straw with a face on it. Chef nearly laughed at this.
"Yep, it's official, Chef likes pain," Leshawna noted. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay, my dorky hat broke my fall."
Scarlett: "Now you must face...da-da-da-DAH! MADAME FATSUIT!" She struggled to walk, and then fell on her back. "Oh, I can take this costume off any time, I just don't wanna." She waved her legs in the air feebly.
Chef nearly laughed again. "These kids catch on fast, man."
"I gotta admit, the jokes are improving," Chris agreed, laughing a little.
Sky: "I...am...Antidisestablishmentarianism Lady, and – annnnnd they're gone."
"The heck does that even mean?" Geoff asked.
"People who think that the Church of England should stay the official church of England," Harold explained.
"So it's nothing that a Canadian would care about, bro?"
"Nope."
"New theme," Chef said, retrieving yet another piece of paper. "Bad times to break into song and dance."
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn.
Heather: (pantomiming a dentist) "Okay, just open your mouth and...and I'm gonna scrape between your teeth, in ways that you would not belieth!"
"'Belieth'?" Josee asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Shaddap."
Taylor: (pantomiming a tattoo artist) "How do you spell your name again? Was it i before e, or x before n?" She suddenly swerved. "...oops?"
Sierra: (pantomiming walking around with a rifle slung over her shoulder) "Ten-HUT, I'm on patrol, no sir, I won't do my country wrong. No one's ever gonna figure out that we're making atomic bombs!"
Chef nearly laughed. "I met some really dumb sons a' [b words] in my career, lemme tell you..."
Jen: (pantomiming sitting on a toilet) "Today I'm going to have my–"
"WHOA!" Chris shrieked. "Let's stop that before we scar the others for life, okay?"
"Dude, you scarred us for life when you told us you save all of your shed hairs, and that was in like, what, October?" Geoff asked.
"I hope you're not that squeamish about your wife's needs," Bridgette added sternly.
"New theme," Chef sighed. "People you wish would just shut up."
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Weird Newscasters: Noah and Shawn.
Cody: "Gothy McGothface!"
Heather seethed furiously. "I suppose you think that's funny, Anderson?"
"I think it's hilarious, actually. Serves you right for trying to enslave me." Off to the side, Alejandro frowned.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"Heather's honor is easily tarnished," Alejandro explained. "Although I won't vote the gap-toothed geek out just yet, for his intellect will be quite useful to me, I can't say I won't think up some way to punish him for his insolence." He leered at the camera. "Now that I no longer need to rely completely on making myself stronger with wit and sabotage, I will make myself stronger with fear as well."
Noah: "Last time on Total Drama:"
Chef nearly laughed, but one stern look from Chris shut him up quickly. The rest of his team burst into laughter, and Noah bowed mockingly to Chris.
Justin: "Imma let you finish, but..."
"Yep, Kanye's a dope," Chef nodded.
Shawn: "Dame tu cosita, ah, ah."
Chef raised an eyebrow. "...the heck you say, boy?"
"Oh, never mind, it's just a dumb meme song," Shawn sighed. "It'd make more sense if you watched it."
"Weird Newscasters, you have failed to make Chef laugh!" Chris said. "I think it's time to vote!"
"Not so fast, Chris!" Emma interjected angrily. "The Party Quirks also failed to make Chef laugh. So until Chef laughs, no one is voting, because technically, no one has won yet."
"She's right, y'know," Chef said.
"Yeah, I guess," Chris grumbled. "Sugar, go twice, and then we'll...finish it up, I guess."
Chef pulled another piece of paper. "New theme: world's worst gameshow."
Confessional – Emma.
"I, like Courtney, want to be a lawyer after I graduate from college. And pointing out loopholes like that can make or break a case."
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Justin, and Sugar.
Sugar: "It's tahm tah play 'Read Shakey-speared Fer An Owah!'"
"Now make another one," Chef said.
She did.
Sugar: "Welcahm tah 'Extreme Chess: Pillah Edishun!'"
"I guess what qualifies as the world's worst gameshow is dependent on whoever's watching it," Zoey remarked.
"Extreme Chess: Pillar Edition actually sounds like a show Chris would make," Sierra commented.
"Once Total Drama's done and won? Who knows?" Chris shrugged.
Confessional – Phil.
"The last thing Chris needs is an eighth show," Phil sighed.
Justin: "Heeeeeeeere's 'Name That Animal's Poop!'"
"Ewwwww!" most of the girls and half of the guys groaned.
Cody: "Hello everyone, welcome to 'Guess How Many Grains Of Sand Are In This Jar?'"
"New theme," Chef said. "'What Chef is thinking right now.'" His eyes widened. "Uh-oh."
"Alright, everybody! Let's make this count!" Alejandro declared. "This is our best shot at winning this challenge!"
"On it!" Heather saluted him.
Party Quirks: Alejandro (captain), Sanders, Josee, DJ, Emma, Jacques, Brick, Miles, Jo, Scarlett, Heather, and Sierra.
Sierra: "'How did she get her hair so purple?'"
Chef shrugged. "I know how Evil Genius did it, but not you."
"A woman must keep her secrets," she replied coyly.
Heather: "'[D word], these kids is stupid.'"
Chef nearly laughed.
Scarlett: "'If I just move my foot a little bit to the right I can have this show all to myself.'"
Chris looked at Chef and gulped. "Y-you wouldn't do that, right, Chef old buddy?"
"No promises," Chef replied wryly. Chris made a small frightened noise at this.
Jo: "'Let's see, what was I making for dinner again? Oh yeah, CHARACTER!'"
Chef wasn't expecting this and burst out laughing. "It's funny b'cause it's so TRUE!"
"Alright!" Chris said, sighing with relief. "Chef has finally laughed! The Party Quirks have won today's challenge! Meet me at the campfire at eight, Weird Newscasters, it's time to vote someone out!"
Party Quirks
"So who should we vote for?" Shawn asked. "I can't think of anyone on our team who we're not allied with or at the very least friendly."
Noah sighed. "I...I don't know, Shawn, who do you think we should vote for?"
"Well, Ennui's not on anybody's side, and he's pretty smart, so I think we should try to vote him off, although most of our alliance is gone and what's left is on the winning team."
"I know," Noah sighed. "Ennui's fine with me."
Confessional – Shawn.
"Am I upset that Noah hid all those idols and didn't tell us? A little." He wrote ENNUI on a piece of paper. "But it makes sense considering what Alejandro did last challenge. Although seriously, where's Chris even hiding those things?"
Confessional – Ennui.
"Bridgette is a reasonable woman, but her clumsiness cost us the advantage in today's challenge." He wrote BRIDGETTE on a piece of paper. "I went to middle school with her, and she was quite prone to making the wrong moves at the wrong time. She's better now, but for her own safety I think she should return to Muskoka."
Confessional – Bridgette.
"I don't think it was entirely my fault that my team got delayed," Bridgette explained as she wrote TAYLOR on a piece of paper. "Those clips on our bags don't unlatch very easily, so I think someone on the Weird Newscasters opened my bag while we were distracted."
Confessional – Taylor.
"If BRIDGETTE hadn't been so careless, we would've won!" Taylor exclaimed as she wrote BRIDGETTE on a piece of paper. "Get DUNKED ON!"
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Most of the colored marshmallows were either blue or green. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got because drama ain't no laughing matter. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Crimson , Geoff, Leshawna, Zoey, Ennui, Jasmine, Bridgette, Taylor, Jen, Noah, and Shawn."
Next, Chris pointed to the three blue marshmallows on the plate. "Blue means you received only one vote against you. Sky, Sam, and Harold, I believe these are yours." The three of them obediently got their marshmallows.
Next, Chris pointed to the three green marshmallows. "Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. I guess today we decided to massively overcompensate for not having any last time. Or most of the time in general, really. Anywho, Taylor, Jasmine, and Ennui, come and get 'em."
"...wow, we should've voted for Taylor," Shawn muttered.
Noah sighed. "Can't even strategize anymore, can ya, Wodeyar?"
Two marshmallows remained. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, and red means you got chopped. Bridgette. Crimson."
"This again?" Crimson asked monotonously.
"Again indeed. Crimson, it looks like you're not very popular. Bridgette, it looks like your popularity has just gone. It looks pretty tight, and...AND...
...
...
...
...
"Bridgette, with one vote more, you are OUT!"
Confessional – Leshawna and Harold.
"Does this mean that the deal with the Misfits is off?" Harold asked.
"I'm a little mad Taylor didn't get the boot, but I don't think anyone knew who t' vote for." Leshawna sighed. "What a week it's been!"
"I know, right?"
Confessional – Geoff.
Geoff sighed sadly. "Guess Surfer Dudes United is just...one lonely Surfer Dude now."
"Another alliance down, still quite a few more to go." Chris sat on Chef's chair in the Drama Theater. "I wonder who's next, don't you? Fifty-six down. Twenty-eight remain. Only a third of our original cast is left! Who'll get a ninety-second alphabet of fame and who'll die in a horrible doo-wop-related accident? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
He leaned back in his chair too far and fell on his back. "Ow..."
"Does Chef get the show now?" Carly snarked.
"Just get me back up, will ya?"
Votes:
Crimson – Bridgette
Geoff – Crimson
Leshawna – Taylor
Zoey – Sky
Sam – Jasmine
Ennui – Bridgette
Jasmine – Sam
Bridgette – Taylor
Harold – Jasmine
Sky – Crimson
Taylor – Bridgette
Jen – Harold
Noah – Ennui
Shawn – Ennui
Results: 3-2-2-2-2-1-1-1 Bridgette-Crimson-Taylor-Jasmine-Ennui-Sky-Sam-Harold
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo, Katie, Trent, Kitty (t), Gwen, Dave (ii), Courtney, Tom, Dawn (t), Izzy (r), Jay, Lightning, Stephanie, Cameron (nj), Ryan, B, Mike (q), Duncan, Amy, Topher, Sadie, Laurie, [Owen, Carrie, Sammy, Tyler, Lindsay, Devin, Eva, MacArthur, Ella, and Beardo] (ii), Bridgette
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Geoff (Geoff), Justin (Ella)
Future eliminations immunized against: Alejandro (8)
Bonus clip:
Chef watched the song Shawn had sung earlier with a dead-inside expression on his face. "Wow, that is annoyin'."