With this chapter, THD crosses the 400,000 word mark! Thanks to all my reviewers, followers, and favoriters for giving me a reason to keep doing this!
And now it's review time!
amit .avrashmi: Thanks! Alejandro's biggest flaw is his pride; he's reached the point where he's so confident in his ability to win challenges that he doesn't really participate in them anymore. Noah had the opposite arc, I feel, growing into a leadership role and continuing to help his teams win challenges. You'll see some of that here!
Joel Connell: Thanks! The last chapter was one of my favorite chapters to write! It was only a matter of time before I did the obligatory space challenge (not space-THEMED, but actually IN SPACE). Yeah, Geoff had his immunity idol and could've used it, but he'd forgotten about it and therefore didn't have it on hand when it was time for his team to vote (TBH I forgot that he had it too, but I felt that it was time for him to go anyway and I have Plans for Jasmine in Season 4). Geoff got to reunite with Bridgette and Brody, though, so that's good! And as for Alejandro's stay...well, you'll see! ;)
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks!
Loyal Reader: Thanks for catching that! I fixed it.
Concerned Reader: I'm alive, just very busy these days, so I've been in a lot of pain and minus a lot of motivation. I also had a lot of trouble figuring out how this chapter would work, but your concern has helped me figure some things out. Thank you for caring.
Deeply Concerned: See above.
Thursday, February 22, 2018
"Last time on Total Drama – we spaced out! [Leshawna and Brick approaching Gassy] In our eleventh virtual reality challenge we went to an alien solar system! [the nighttime sky on Lifey] Four teams went head-to-head capturing planets, dwarf planets, and spherical moons to earn points! [Taylor claiming Scorchy for Choleric, only for the flag to be crushed by Scorchy's immense atmospheric pressure] Scarlett, the only person left on the fifth team, tried and succeeded to destroy them! [Scarlett making a coronal mass ejection, much to Noah and Justin's horror] In the end it was Melancholic, who played it safe by sticking to the far-off reaches of the Alpha Chris-tauri system [previously unseen footage of Ennui claiming the ellipsoidal grayish-red Haumea-sized dwarf planet DP 76], that won. Meanwhile, Geoff's well-meaning attempt to garner more points [Geoff approaching Ringy V] led to the Ice Dancers stealing Bluey [previously unseen footage of Josee kicking over Phlegmatic's flag on Bluey II, a small brownish moon roughly the size of Pluto's moon Charon, and planting one for Choleric in its stead] and getting Phlegmatic kicked out first [Jasmine and DJ's deaths] that led to his elimination. [Geoff's elimination] And an avoidable one at that! If Geoff had remembered that his immunity idol could save him from the next five eliminations [Geoff finding his immunity idol way back in Challenge 14], he would've used it. But he didn't, so he's gone! And not a single crap was given. Not. A. Onezo."
Pan out to reveal Chris was on a plane. "Today we're doing something different. Earlier today, we broke our contestants into four new teams of seven chumps each. Why? Simple. Each eighth challenge is a Total Drama Field Trip to a location that isn't disclosed...yet." Chris got up from his chair and stretched open his arms widely. "Twenty contestants remain. Who'll get the lion's share and who'll never be forgotten for their failures because the fandom has the memory of an elephant? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, but this time Harold jumped clear of it, only to hit his head on a low-hanging branch.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the snowy island, passing Chris looking out at the world from the comfort of his room, Brick trying to learn how to channel another song, Sam playing one of his videogames, Lindsay making a snowman, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Shawn running away from a once-again awake Scuba Bear.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the few animals still awake during winter. DJ looked at a drawing of Dawn he'd made for an art class and sighed wistfully.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on the banks of the frozen lake in a snowball fight. Taylor ended up throwing her snowball at a tree, which dumped snow all over Heather, much to Taylor and Josee's delight.
*Instrumental*
Owen trudged across the ice covering the river, then slipped and faceplanted into the snowbanks. Geoff and Bridgette immediately rushed over to help him up.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Jo and Zoey climbed to the top of Bluegrass Hill, where Jo let out a roar that triggered an avalanche beneath them. Jo smiled sheepishly at a confused Zoey.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was making dinner, and Tyler, Sanders, MacArthur, Beardo, and Ella were eying his no-longer-deliberately-bad cooking hungrily.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sammy and Cody were making out, and with one of his hands facing backwards Cody accepted a high-five from Sierra.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Eva, Leshawna, Sky, and Jasmine worked out in the Drama Gym, although Sky was struggling with her weights.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Alejandro had lit the campfire and was standing behind it ominously. Devin and Carrie, unbeknownst to him, were watching, and Carrie raised an eyebrow at Devin as if to say "See? I told you he was evil."
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher chatted with Dakota, who was busy with intern work. Behind them, Scarlett was pushing around a snowblowing machine she'd recently invented.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and Jen appeared between them to show off some new designs. Though slightly miffed, Noah and Emma shrugged and struck up a conversation with her.
Floating Salmon
"Chris could've let us sleep, but noooo, we hafta get up early for 'time zone corrections'," Taylor complained groggily as she made air quotes with her metallic copper-tipped fingers. There were heavy bags under her eyes and her normally pristine hair was mussed and frizzy, strands sticking out haphazardly.
"I hate it as much as you do, Taylor," Jo grumbled. "'Specially 'cuz I have to share a seat row with you."
Behind her, Brick counted on his fingers. "Today's the day," he decided at last. "Jo?" he whispered to her.
"What is it, Brick?"
"Keep it down! We don't want you-know-him to hear us." He shakily pointed a finger at a sleeping Alejandro.
Jo narrowed her eyes but lowered her voice anyway. "What do you want me to do?"
"Alejandro's immunity just expired. If we lose today's challenge, can you vote for him?"
"Like you had to ask, Dampypants. Of course I'm gonna vote for him." Jo scoffed lightly. "He's been cheating people left and right out of fair play since September, and ever since he used all his idols he's gotten so LAZY! Noah may be a little sneak, but at least he tries to help us during challenges."
Brick exhaled. "Thanks, Jo." He turned his attention to her seatmate. "Taylor, what about you? You'd get major-league bragging rights if you outlast Alejandro." Those nine little words made Taylor snap wide, wide awake, much to Jo's amusement.
Confessional – Jo.
Jo sniffled proudly. "He manipulated her so well. My little idiot is all grown up." Her eyes widened and she looked at the camera nervously. "D-don't take that out of context!"
Confused Bears
"Okay, today's the day. If we don't get Alejandro out now, he'll keep taking away other peoples' chances to win," Noah said to the rest of his team, pacing down the length of the hallway. "So we'll need to do our best to win today's challenge, wherever it is."
"We'll do some work on our end to convince the Salmon to vote for Alejandro if they lose," Emma added. "But our job should be to ensure that they lose, and that can only be done by winning today's challenge. Got that?"
"Do our best?" Jacques scoffed. "Beat the Salmon?"
"Who do you think you are talking to?" Josee smirked.
"Good," Noah said, relieved that they were still on board. "After Al gets the boot, we can all go back to hating each others' guts. Right now, though, we need to take out the trash." The other seven team members nodded in assent, determination on their faces.
Confessional – Sky.
"On the one hand, I feel kinda bad that we outright want the other team to lose as our first priority," Sky said. "But I'd also like to win today's challenge, and I really want Alejandro gone. It wasn't fair of him to knock out so many people at once when he's already made so many of my friends lose before their time."
Floating Salmon: Jasmine, Scarlett, Leshawna, Alejandro, Justin, Brick, Crimson, Jo, DJ, Cody, Harold, and Taylor.
Confused Bears: Noah, Emma, Ennui, Sugar, Sky, Jen, Jacques, and Josee.
An hour later
"Welcome, one and all, to Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe!" Chris announced. The teens were in a warm, sunny environment which looked like a standard suburb. Had it not been February and were the trees not unrecognizable, they wouldn't be able to register the city as a foreign location.
"I thought Victoria Falls was a really big waterfall," Justin said, confused.
"Mosi-oa-Tunya, or Victoria Falls as my homeland calls it, is the namesake for the city and is located close by," Scarlett explained.
"Ohhhh."
"Correct indeed, Scarlett!" Chris agreed. "And we'll be cruising on down the Zambezi River to the waterfall as part of the day's challenge!" He pulled out a small yellow-and-black rectangular device. "Now, you guys will be paired up and given a boat. One person will man the boat, the other will take a selfie with one of these waterproofed cell phones...while falling off Victoria Falls!"
"ARE YOU NUTS?!" DJ shrieked.
"Uh...yes, he is? Where have you been these last few months?" Jo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Not to worry, Deej! I brought back the net from our previous waterfall adventure and it'll catch you."
"But Victoria Falls is over twice the width of Horseshoe Falls," Scarlett pointed out. "What if we drift out of the net's range?"
"Which is why I added more net! Sheesh, Scarlett, lighten up. I know how to avoid lawsuits."
"Why does that not reassure me?" the bespectacled redhead muttered to herself exasperatedly. "Don't answer that, Harold, it was a rhetorical question," she added without looking up. Behind her, Harold slowly put his hand down.
"If your designated cameradweeb takes a selfie successfully, your pair earns a point for your team. If you don't take a picture in time, or you lose the phone entirely, you don't get the point. Whoever has the highest point total after all ten pairs go overboard wins part one and gets an advantage for part two!"
Confessional – Alejandro.
"This part of the challenge is almost too easy," Alejandro mused. "But I have a knack for getting my good side in photographs, so it will be a welcome win for my team." He paused and then added "Provided that Chris has maintained the safety net properly, of course."
"Chef will assemble your groups. Chef?"
"Alright, maggots, let's do this," Chef grunted. "I'm not gonna use your nicknames this time 'cuz I'm not sure you'll know who's who when I use them." He cleared his throat. "For the Floatin' Salmon, the pairs are Crimson 'n' Cody, Justin 'n' Brick, DJ 'n' Scarlett, Jo 'n' Harold, Leshawna 'n' Alejandro, and Taylor 'n' Jasmine."
"Great," said Crimson monotonously.
"For the Confused Bears, the pairs are Ennui 'n' Sugar, Noah 'n' Jen, Jacques 'n' Emma, and Josee 'n' Sky."
"Two pairs will go at a time!" Chris announced. "Since the Salmon have a numbers advantage, two of their pairs [hey, that rhymes!] will go first. Then one pair from each team will go together. Sabotaging each other is allowed!"
"Assuming that we can maneuver our boats like that," Emma remarked.
Confessional – Cody.
"Of all the challenges for Geoff to be eliminated before," Cody sighed. "We'd stand a better chance at dodging each other if he was at the helm of one of our team's boats." He paused. "Then again, maybe not, considering that his thing is surfing and not rowing."
"Crimson Cody and Just a Brick, you guys will go first!"
Floating Salmon
"I can handle the photography part," Justin said as they got into their boat, which (like all the Salmon boats) was a lime green fiberglass two-person kayak with matching oars. "Y'know, my modeling and all that."
"Sure thing!" Brick replied, picking up the oars and beginning to row. "I'll need to focus on rowing our boat anyway. Especially since we have to convince Crimson to vote for Al if we lose." He looked off to see a reluctant (not that they could tell right away) Crimson picking up her pair's oars.
From a distant point on the beach, Alejandro sneezed. "Someone called me Al," he grimaced.
In the other boat, Cody inspected the waterproof cell phone. "Wouldn't a waterproof camera be cheaper?" he mused.
"Chris most likely wants us to be able to inspect our photographs and shoot multiple times," Crimson replied monotonously.
"Sorry Crimson, but no can do!" Chris called from the riverbank. "You guys only get one shot at taking a picture!"
"Right," she sighed emotionlessly. "That restriction is in place."
As she started rowing, Cody tried to figure out how the phone's camera operated. "Hm...I can't seem to get it to face us..." Looking at the screen, he saw Brick and Justin's boat approach them. "Right now it's facing the other boat...and they're getting pretty close to us!"
"Don't worry, Cody, we're only here to talk," Justin said as his boat pulled up alongside the Slick Geek and Dark Goth's. "We were thinking that, if we lose today's challenge, we should vote for Alejandro," he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "His immunity's just expired and we need to get him out now before he causes any more trouble."
"Sure thing," Cody said, also in a whisper. Crimson didn't look quite as convinced.
"Crimson, I know we've had our differences in the past," Justin said.
"That is an understatement," Crimson droned softly, gripping her oars tighter.
"But hear us out. You're a threat to us because you're smart and you never lose your cool. That's what makes you and Ennui so hard to beat when you're on the opposing team, and that's the main reason why anyone tries to vote for you two when we lose a challenge. But Al? He is losing his cool. Slowly, but he's definitely losing it. All the careful planning he used to do earlier in the game? He's not going to do it anymore, because he thinks he can just coast right to the merge without doing any hard work. Work that I know you've been doing."
Crimson considered this. Justin was certainly smarter than he looked if he knew exactly what her misgivings about siding with Team E-Scope were. "If I go along with this plan, what will I receive in return?" she asked.
"I'll tell my alliance, and Cody can tell his, to not vote for you and Ennui for the next five times either of you are on the losing team," Brick said.
"Yeah, I can handle that," Cody nodded. "It's not like I have much of an alliance left anyway."
Crimson considered this some more before letting go of an oar and stretching a leather fingerless glove-clad hand, her nails painted black as always, out to the other pair's boat. "You have a deal," she said monotonously. Justin took her hand and shook it.
Suddenly, they heard the sound of rushing water. "Crap, the falls!" Cody yelped, finally remembering where they were and fumbling with his phone while Crimson, her blank expression shifting only slightly, broke the handshake and fumbled for the other oar. Justin quickly snapped a picture moments before the four of them fell off the waterfall and into the net below.
Some time later
"No go on Cody's crew," Chris tsked, a black square in place of that pair's photograph. "But Justin!" Justin's photo was surprisingly impeccable. "That's amazing! One point for the Salmon! Now, this time we've got both teams out there now, so I want some fighting! Scarlet DJ and Sweet Ennui, you're up first!"
Current score:
Salmon: 1/6
Bears: 0/4
Zambezi River
Scarlett looked plainly at DJ. "Devon," she said firmly, "I need you to vote for Alejandro in the event that we lose this challenge."
"Why me?" DJ asked.
"One, because I'm still not entirely sure that we can get Jo and Taylor on our side." She hadn't been in earshot for Brick's conversation with the two, so she didn't know that they'd already agreed to it yet. "Two, if we are to successfully oust him, we need all the help we can get. He has been cheating in this game for far too long."
"But...I can't vote for my friends."
"Do you really see Alejandro as a friend?" A pause as DJ looked away guiltily. "I thought not."
While they were conversing, Ennui rowed up next to them. "Gotcha!" Sugar grinned as she leaned over, grabbed the back of DJ and Scarlett's boat, and pulled upwards with a swift yank. With DJ being topheavy, the boat capsized in an instant. Sugar cackled as she and Ennui approached the falls, only remembering at the last minute to take her own selfie.
Confessional – Ennui.
"Ordinarily I would not ally myself with someone as reprehensible as Sugar," Ennui stated monotonously and candidly. "But the aim of this challenge is to remove someone who we both do not like, and doing so entails winning any advantage we can get, so I must ignore my dislike of her for now until our objective is completed." He sighed. "No matter how hard that might be."
Some time later
Chris grimaced at the blurry, shaky photo that Sugar had taken. "Ah, well, I did say you needed a photo. quality be [d word]ed. The Bears get their first point of the challenge! Jo's Harold and Noahjen Monoxide, you're up!"
"'Noahjen'? Seriously?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Get in the boat!"
Current score:
Salmon: 1/6
Bears: 1/4
Begin montage.
Jo was in charge of the boat and tried to maneuver it so that she could bump Noah and Jen over. She did, but her jostling caused Harold to drop their pair's [hey, that rhymes!] phone into the river. Surprisingly, the instrument floated alongside them as they plummeted off the falls. Predictably (and understandably), neither team got a photo.
Current score:
Salmon: 1/6
Bears: 1/4
"Sad, kiddies, just sad," Chris tsked. "Anyway, Alebrainsdo and Lebrawna and Jacqued-up Emma, you're up!"
"That was quite a stretch," Alejandro remarked, frowning at the awkwardness of the puns.
"Fair, though," Leshawna remarked, inspecting her left bicep impassively.
Jacques and Alejandro bumped each other the whole way down the river. Emma was shaken so much she nearly dropped her phone, but she managed to hang onto it long enough to take the picture when the boat started to dip. Leshawna, who was steadier in her boat due to her higher mass and therefore higher inertia, successfully took a picture as well; consequently, both teams got the point.
Current score:
Salmon: 2/6
Bears: 2/4
"A twofer photos for the price of one fall!" Chris grinned, inspecting both of the photos. Emma's was jittery but in focus, while Leshawna's was out of focus but still. "Anyway, only one more pair of pairs to go! Taylored Jasmine and Josee-colored Sky, you're up!"
"What kind of a color is 'Josee'?" Sky asked incredulously as her pair got into their boat.
"A sparkling pink," Josee replied, swooning a little as she sat down.
"Figures."
Josee motored down the river, quickly overtaking the Salmon boat. "Crikey!" Jasmine said, awed at the shorter girl's speed.
"Yeah, what you said! Row faster!" Taylor barked.
"Mate, I'm goin' as fast as I can," Jasmine replied. Her large arms made for a slow rowing speed; her size may have been an advantage in other challenges, but here it was a significant disadvantage. Especially when Jasmine leaned a little too far to the right and keeled her pair's boat upside-down.
End montage.
Final score:
Salmon: 2/6
Bears: 3/4
Confessional – Scarlett.
"I believe that we have just set a record for the shortest montage this show has ever had."
"Well now! I guess that's that!" Chris said. Sky's selfie wasn't as good as Justin's, but it was easily an improvement over the last two selfies. "With that, the Confused Bears earn three points out of four for 75%. They win part one! The Floating Salmon have earned a measly two points out of six for 33.33%. They lose this part and therefore don't get the advantage!"
"Which is?" Sugar asked expectantly.
"This!" Chris chucked a metal detector at her; it knocked her over it was flying so fast. "What do I have in mind for part two? Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris announced to the audience. The challenge had moved from the Zambezi River to a large, grassy field. Distantly, a cow raised its head and made eye contact with its wild cousin, an angry-looking cape buffalo. Startled, the cow ran away, and the buffalo kept glaring at it until it was certain it was gone, at which point it began grazing the field itself.
"Another treasure hunt?" Harold frowned.
"Indeedy-do, Doris! But this time we've got a theme!"
"Hopefully it's a better theme than aliens or a wooden chest full of air," Jo muttered.
"Oh, you. Anyway, onto today's social studies lesson!" Chris barked. "Zimbabwe, like many countries, has their own cultural arts and crafts. And one of their most famous crafts is woodcarving. That will be the theme of part two! Hidden somewhere in this field [he gestured to the field] is a woodcarving knife and several wooden booby traps. Dig around to find the knife, and whoever finds it first will win!"
"Strange challenge," Noah mused. "Almost as if you had to change it at the last minute."
"I did," Chris huffed in annoyance. "Apparently finding a white rhino to take a selfie with would take too long and I'd go off-schedule. Also because you might run into poachers, and not only might I get sued if you get shot, but the producers already had dibs on them."
"But...aren't you the producer or something like that?" Sky asked, confused.
"Only in-universe, kiddo."
Meanwhile
Five poachers snuck up on a Northern white rhinoceros cow and raised their rifles. Suddenly, there was a low rumbling noise that spooked the animal, and she dashed off. The poachers were confused until they saw the source of the noise: a military-grade bulldozer heading in their direction. Driving the bulldozer was Gira, the purple-with-pine-green-back-splotches Giraffatitan brancai who headed the art department, and the love of my life.
"Pembe ya faru SI aphrodisiac halali!" Gira roared in deep, booming, throaty Swahili, her long neck increasing her volume to terrifying levels. The poachers screamed and ran away, and she gave chase.
Confessional – Nykus and The Nerdinator.
"Your girlfriend is nuts, boss!" my intern/gofer Nykus, a diminutive brown-feathered, gray-scaled Mononykus olecranus, squawked from our seat on the back of the bulldozer.
"I know!" I replied cheerfully, clutching the armrests so hard that my mint green-scaled knuckles were starting to turn white. "I love her so dang much!"
"Love you too, babe!" Gira called from the driver's seat in deep, rich, Swahili-accented English as she continued running down the poachers.
"Well, that was a cutaway gag," Noah said at last.
"You'll be searching the field at the same time as the other team!" Chris continued. "Which reminds me, you cannot steal the metal detector, Floating Salmon! Doing so will result in a penalty, and three penalties make for an automatic disqualification!"
"Wow, harsh, man," Harold noted. "Is this 'cuz you're trying to mix things up?"
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Chris replied, smiling cryptically. "Now get hunting! Good luck!"
Confessional – Harold.
"Well, THAT was super unhelpful. Gosh!"
Some time later
Emma was treading carefully. The field was filled with holes dug into the ground, no doubt housing various booby traps save for one. Sugar was waving the metal detector haphazardly, occasionally getting something...that turned out to be the metal springs and other such mechanisms used in the various traps to actually make them traps. "If we had something like Scarlett's analyzer-thingy we could tell what metal the knife was made of," Emma mused to herself. "Of course, the knife and traps might be using the same metal anyway."
Suddenly, Alejandro appeared out of nowhere and hip-checked Emma onto a patch of traps. "OW!" she screeched as the traps went off, mostly a bunch of wooden mines consisting of wooden dowels that popped out of the ground and roughly prodded her in the back, although there was a tube that popped out and shot several marble-sized wooden balls into the back of her neck.
Getting to her feet, Emma glared at the boy. "What the frick was THAT for?!"
"I have no choice," Alejandro said smoothly. "After all, my team does not have a metal detector, so we must find out where the prized cuchillo is hiding manually."
"And pushing me helped?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't you see? The knife is the only item buried under the dirt that is not a trap. Therefore, the one pile of dirt that does not go off is where the knife is hiding."
"Okay, that's a good point, but how did hurting me benefit you?"
"Chris did not say that roughhousing was forbidden," Alejandro smirked. "He would actually enjoy it, if I may be so bold, which I can. And I need to impair your team before you win. Do not think that I know what you are trying to do; you are trying to intimidate me so that I lose this challenge for my team and the opinion of me will sour, and that you will ultimately keep me from having such a strong win once the merge happens." Emma silently thanked her alliance for adequately misleading Alejandro into thinking that they were just trying to intimidate him into messing up his performance, rather than getting him eliminated outright by using his increasing outwardly selfish behavior to convince the others to put aside their differences and work together.
He stood taller and stared down at her, an incredibly cocky expression on his perfectly-chiseled face. "But that will not work. I will get to the merge once our current roster gets halved. And then I will win the prize, and YOU will not." He stalked off, disappearing through the tall grass.
Narrowing her eyes and getting back to her feet, Emma growled to herself. "I know that we are young, and I know that you may love popularity, but I just can't let you stay in the game any longer...Alejandro." And then, once Alejandro was out of earshot, she began to sing:
He thinks this game's
In his pocket
And he won't look at us
Without a-mocking.
Elsewhere, recovering from another wooden mine hitting him in the face, Noah heard Emma singing and joined in:
His one true love
Is fame and fortune.
In Chris' eyes he can't do wrong,
Because he's strong.
Shaking a wooden foothold trap (that thankfully lacked teeth) off her steel-toed-boot-clad foot, Jasmine sang next, looking exasperated:
Oh, how I despise that boy,
How I'm so tired of his voice.
DJ gulped as he tiptoed around a cluster of mounds, singing softly.
At this point I gotta choose.
"Hey, you got nothing to lose," Justin said comfortingly, putting his hand on DJ's shoulder comfortingly. DJ smiled at his friend.
Elsewhere, Emma, standing tall, with Jen, Josee, and Leshawna as backup vocals, sang as she walked across the field, not even caring that small wooden balls shot at her every time she stepped on a slightly-buried button:
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
The price of fame,
The price of fame, Alejandro.
He's gotta go, just so y'know,
Just gotta give him the right kind of push.
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Cody yelped as Alejandro suddenly appeared from the grass, knocking Cody onto his face, which triggered the emergence of a wooden hammer that whacked him on the head. Alejandro clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction at the lack of a knife before moving on. "Please, stop," Cody whimpered to himself, remembering Heather socking him in the face. "Just leave me be, Alejandro...just leave me be."
Harold appeared and offered Cody his hand, singing as he pulled him up.
You're not broken, man;
He's just a bully.
Yeah, he's behaving like a cad, a friggin' cad.
All of us who've burned because of him
Are gonna make sure that he'll never get what he once had.
Nearby, Ennui grumbled as he removed a toothpick from his face that had been shot out by a blowgun-like contraption. "Oh, how I despise that boy, I'd like him out to end his noise."
Cody heard him and nodded firmly.
No longer will this geek be used.
"Today the Salmon lose!" Jen declared before launching into song, with Sugar singing backup.
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
The price of fame,
The price of fame, Alejandro.
He's gotta go, just so y'know,
Just gotta give him the right kind of push.
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Jo:
He bothers me.
He bothers me.
Crimson:
"Alejandro."
Leshawna:
Don't win the game,
Don't win the game.
Scarlett:
Alejandro.
Jacques, while holding up a picture of a sneering Heather:
Just like his babe.
Just like his babe.
Taylor:
Alejandro.
Noah:
Ain't gonna miss, don't wanna touch.
Emma:
Alejandro.
Now all of the contestants save Alejandro were singing as one as a montage of him bullying the others played:
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
The price of fame,
The price of fame, Alejandro.
He's gotta go, just so y'know,
Just gotta give him the right kind of push.
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
Ale-ale-jandro.
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
The price of fame,
The price of fame, Alejandro.
He's gotta go, just so y'know,
Just gotta give him the right kind of push.
You'll lose the game,
You'll lose the game, Alejandro.
Alejandro.
Fifty-five minutes later
A battered Sugar sighed as the metal detector let out a horrendous racket. "Alraight, alraight! Jesus K. Ryst!" She stopped in front of the mound and roughly tore at the dirt with her bare hands, not even caring about the rough texture of the soil scraping every last bit of light pink polish off her fingernails. "DA KNYFE!" she exclaimed, finding the knife at the bottom of the hole, before she looked down at her hands and recoiled in horror. "DAH! MA NAYLS!"
"And that's time!" Chris announced. "Everyone stop searching, because Sugar has found the knife!"
Back at the plane, Chris addressed the teams. "Well, it took you guys about three hours, and about twenty-five insect bites, but Sugar has found the knife!" He held up said knife for the kids to see that she had indeed found it.
"Isn't that one of Duncan's?" Justin asked, recognizing the design of the knife.
"Heck if I know," Brick replied, plucking a tiny mopane bee out of his left eyebrow. The bee shook one of its forelegs like a fist at him before buzzing off.
"Despite their battering, the Confused Bears win! Meet me in third class at eight, Floating Salmon, it's time to vote someone out!" Alejandro noticed the nonchalant looks on his teammates' faces upon hearing that.
Confessional – Alejandro.
"That was quite odd, seeing the lack of much emotion on the faces of the others," Alejandro admitted as he wrote CODY on a piece of paper. "Normally they are less...accepting of their losses. But it has been a very tedious time on this show, so it is somewhat understandable."
Confessional – Jo.
"It's alllll a mindgame," Jo explained, tapping her temples while smirking at the camera. "I got Scarls in the loop and she told us that we shouldn't give away any emotion before the elimination ceremony in case Mr. Smarmy-smarm does anything bad." She wrote ALEJANDRO on a piece of paper.
Confessional – DJ.
"This time I'm gonna vote. But only this once!" DJ declared as he wrote ALEJANDRO on a piece of paper. "Oh no...what if it doesn't work?!"
Confessional – Taylor.
"Oh, quit blubbering, you stupid oaf! It's gonna work, 'cuz I'M helping!" Taylor growled as she wrote ALEJANDRO on a piece of paper.
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Only two marshmallows were colored out of the dozen. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got because Zimbabwe, like every country in the world, is no stranger to drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Jasmine, Scarlett, Leshawna, Justin, Brick, Crimson, Jo, DJ, Harold, and Taylor."
Alejandro's eyes widened before he grinned. "HA! You voted for someone who is immune! You will be the next ten to go! Thank you for getting me to la fusión early!"
"Don't get too cocky, Al," Jo taunted him. Alejandro had a confused look on his face at her admission.
"Blue means you received only one vote against you. Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. Neither are present today." Two colored marshmallows remained. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, and red means you're out. Cody. Alejandro."
Cody exhaled in relief, knowing full well what was coming. Alejandro did not, and looked more confused than ever.
"Cody, your geeky ways make you unpopular. Alejandro, surprisingly, isn't very popular with the others."
"No duh," Brick scoffed, uncharacteristically short-tempered. "He made us think he was a good guy when he wasn't! He has no honor."
Chris ignored him as he checked his notes. "And let's see, now...uh...
...
...
...
...
"Alejandro, my man. I'm sorry, but...you are out of the game with eleven votes against you."
"WHAT?!" Alejandro exclaimed. "But my idols!"
Chris gulped sheepishly. "Expired last challenge, dude. Apparently my rulebook says playing multiple idols doesn't stack their immunities. Also, apparently you can't play more than three at a time, so..." The Latin Mastermind gripped his hair in shock and fright.
Once the planes landed on Wawanakwa, the kids were treated to the sights of ten formerly-eliminated friends. Tyler, Lindsay, Owen, and Beardo waved to the Misfits enthusiastically. MacArthur, Eva, Sammy, Devin, and Carrie all glared angrily at Alejandro. Ella looked despondent.
"Alejandro," Sammy growled. "Amy suggested that I give you something since she's not available to give it herself."
"And it would be?" Alejandro asked nervously.
Sammy responded by walking up to him and driving her right foot into his crotch, and not in a good way. He crumpled to the ground. "Funny, if you're compensating for something you shouldn't have felt it that badly," MacArthur quipped.
"Val, that's...not how that works," Eva sighed. "But yeah, we're back now. Courtney's parents read through our contracts and apparently Chris violated them by letting Al play more than three idols. So our eliminations got undone!"
"And this time, we're gonna stay until we're voted out fairly!" Owen declared. "Ohhhh, it's so good to be back, little buddy!" he exclaimed as he raced over to Noah and Emma and hugged them.
"Izzy sends her regards, and also this pancake," Beardo said, retrieving a strawberry pancake wrapped in Saran Wrap and handing it to the Scheming Cynic after Owen let them go.
"We did it!" Emma said, laughing in relief. Noah joined her as Phil helped Alejandro to his feet and led him to the boat, Dakota following with his bags. They looked each other in the eyes...
And then they kissed, much to the delight of most of the other contestants.
Confessional – Carrie.
"Woohoo! We are BACK in business, guys! Look out, world, here come the Misfits!"
Confessional – Josee.
"Do not think you are out of the woods, those with low ceilings. Alejandro may be gone, but Jacques and I are still around. And with that overconfident idiot out of our way, we will win." She chuckled darkly before full-out cackling before coughing. "ACK!"
"Alejandro may be gone, but the drama is on! I'm gonna miss you, buddy." Chris leaned against one of the planes' front wheels. "Fifty-five down once again. Twenty-nine remain once again. Who'll pierce the baboon through the mouth and who'll sit on one's hands? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
He leaned a bit too far forward and fell flat on his face.
Votes:
Jasmine – Alejandro
Scarlett – Alejandro
Leshawna – Alejandro
Alejandro – Cody
Justin – Alejandro
Brick – Alejandro
Crimson – Alejandro
Jo – Alejandro
DJ – Alejandro
Cody – Alejandro
Harold – Alejandro
Taylor – Alejandro
Results: 11-1 Alejandro-Cody
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo, Katie, Trent, Kitty (t), Gwen, Dave (ii), Courtney, Tom, Dawn (t), Izzy (r), Jay, Lightning, Stephanie, Cameron (nj), Ryan, B, Mike (q), Duncan, Amy, Topher, Sadie, Laurie, Bridgette, Sanders, Sierra, Shawn (r), Sam, Heather, Miles, Zoey, Geoff (t), Alejandro
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Justin (Ella)
Bonus clip:
The next morning at breakfast, Noah ate his pancake. "This is really good," he said, somewhat surprised. "Say, Owen, when did Izzy make this?"
"Last morning!" Owen replied cheerfully. "She made them for the whole school! Which was why the grocery store ran out of strawberries earlier this week."
"How'd she afford all those supplies?"
"She made merchandise of herself." Owen retrieved a three-inch-tall plush doll of his girlfriend in her TV spot outfit that was mounted on a plastic keychain hook by the back between her shoulder blades. "I had no idea people would willingly pay a thousand dollars for something worth ten!"
"Who needs the grand prize when you've got royalties to spare?" Noah quipped.