Review time! Also, hey, we have over a hundred favorites! Thanks a lot! (Not sarcastically!) And happy new year, two months late!
Channel 101 Productions: Bring out his next secret weapon. Chris IS the kind of guy who has at least four backup plans for every one plan that he makes, after all.
amit .avrashmi: Thanks! As for the victor, wait until Season Five to find out who that is! ;)
Joel Connell: Thanks! Sometimes I need a break so I can get my juices flowing again. ...that sounded a lot better in my head.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: You really think so? Thanks!
Derick Lindsey: Thanks! Alejandro was NEVER going to make it to the merge, but you're spot-on about Jacques and Josee (and Taylor too, can't forget about her) taking up the mantel of TD antagonist for Season Four, and someone WILL end up using an immunity idol in Season Four at a time when it inadvertently guarantees them a spot in Season Five (the post-merger episodes will be a separate season from Season Four, so S4 will be shorter as a result). Emma didn't mention Kitty's selfie habit because cellphones aren't allowed on Total Drama, that and it's been a while. The song about Alejandro was based on the Lady Gaga song...Alejandro. (That was one of the must-do's in this fanfiction: parody that song in the episode where Alejandro gets eliminated! XD)
Lara2244: I dunno, those Ice Dancers look pretty shifty.
New Fan: Thanks!
Concerned Fan: I'm alive, just struggling to find motivation. Also, writing the song in this chapter was difficult. And in terms of the darkest challenge yet... ;)
rosa-rosa-lina: Thanks! Alejandro is indeed a trash man.
Sunday, February 25, 2018
"Last time on Total Drama – we felt the rains down in Africa! [Chris showing off the field] And by rains, I mean the waterfall filled by them! [the first two pairs of the Salmon falling off Victoria Falls] Our foolhardy and otherwise foolish contestants competed in a selfie contest to see who could get the best picture in the biggest timecrunch this side of the Zambezi: falling off a waterfall! [Emma's photo] Some of them were good [Justin's impeccable photo] and some of them were just...there. [Sugar's photo] Next, they hunted for a knife in a field full of booby traps [Alejandro shoving Emma into the dirt], which Sugar eventually discovered with her team's advantage. [Sugar digging up the knife with her bare hands] And they also sang a Lady Gaga song in an attempt to get Alejandro out. [the song] Which worked! Somehow. [Alejandro's elimination]"
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Twenty-nine contestants remain once again. Who'll scavenge up a win and who'll creep away in shame for their failure? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, but this time Harold jumped clear of it, only to hit his head on a low-hanging branch.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the snowy island, passing Chris looking out at the world from the comfort of his room, Brick trying to learn how to channel another song, Sam playing one of his videogames, Lindsay making a snowman, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Shawn running away from a once-again awake Scuba Bear.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the few animals still awake during winter. DJ looked at a drawing of Dawn he'd made for an art class and sighed wistfully.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on the banks of the frozen lake in a snowball fight. Taylor ended up throwing her snowball at a tree, which dumped snow all over Heather, much to Taylor and Josee's delight.
*Instrumental*
Owen trudged across the ice covering the river, then slipped and faceplanted into the snowbanks. Geoff and Bridgette immediately rushed over to help him up.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Jo and Zoey climbed to the top of Bluegrass Hill, where Jo let out a roar that triggered an avalanche beneath them. Jo smiled sheepishly at a confused Zoey.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was making dinner, and Tyler, Sanders, MacArthur, Beardo, and Ella were eying his no-longer-deliberately-bad cooking hungrily.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sammy and Cody were making out, and with one of his hands facing backwards Cody accepted a high-five from Sierra.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Eva, Leshawna, Sky, and Jasmine worked out in the Drama Gym, although Sky was struggling with her weights.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Alejandro had lit the campfire and was standing behind it ominously. Devin and Carrie, unbeknownst to him, were watching, and Carrie raised an eyebrow at Devin as if to say "See? I told you he was evil."
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher chatted with Dakota, who was busy with intern work. Behind them, Scarlett was pushing around a snowblowing machine she'd recently invented.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and Jen appeared between them to show off some new designs. Though slightly miffed, Noah and Emma shrugged and struck up a conversation with her.
Zata Clearing
"Good morning birds, good morning trees, oh, what a lovely day," Ella sang as she stood in the middle of the desolate clearing, a few blue jays and chickadees flitting about. The sky was dark and gray, a thick layer of clouds lounging above the island and blocking out the Sun; everything looked as if it was cast in shadow, probably because it was. "It's been almost a month exact since I was sent away."
She continued to dance, not noticing that someone was approaching her. "A brand new day with things to do, challenges where I'll at last partake. The excitement in me has built up, so I'm really wIdE AwAkE!" She started twirling around. "I've always been a morning person, a morning girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl."
"Hooray," Ennui said flatly, startling Ella out of her song.
"Oh! Hello, Ennui! It's so good to be back!" Ella said, quickly composing herself.
"You seemed sad when you returned," Ennui replied, cutting right to the chase. "Is something bothering you?"
Ella's face fell. "Yeah...I found out how Alejandro got the idols. Sugar found them and gave them to him, and then she made him promise not to vote for her or else she'd tell everyone."
"Since he is gone that agreement is moot."
"Yeah...but what really surprised me is why Sugar gave him the idols at all. She...she wanted to get rid of me. Why?"
Ennui pondered for a moment. "I'm afraid that I cannot answer that. Sugar's mindset is hard to truly comprehend unless she tells you her intentions directly. Although I believe that she may have some misguided beliefs about your presence here."
"I'm here because Chris invited me. Same as you."
"And speaking of inviting people, I'm inviting you to the cabins!" Chris said, appearing from behind a broken bush. He paused, surprised by their...non-surprisedness. "How are you not surprised by me popping out from nowhere?"
"I could see you. That bush did not give you much cover," Ennui explained emotionlessly.
"D'ohhhh, just get moving!"
The Cabins
"Alright, gang! Break into the three teams from your third episode! That's teams Amazon, Chris is Smokin' Hot, and Victory!" Chris announced once everyone was there.
"I don't think we've used these teams since the last season's finale," Tyler mused. "It's great to be back on the show, though!"
"Yeah, and it's great to have you back to build your character!" Chris replied, grinning sadistically. "Through pain!" Tyler gulped. "Anyway, onto today's challenge. It's another scavenger hunt!" The kids groaned in unison. "What?"
"We just HAD a challenge where we all ran around looking for something," Jo griped. "Can't we get some, y'know, variety in our suffering?"
"Well, Jo, your friends who've just come back haven't been in the show for a month, and they haven't been doing as much hard work as you. So, to get back into gear, they've gotta do what you've been doing!"
Confessional – Eva.
"Reeeeal subtle, Chris. You're just trying to make the other kids angry at us so they'll vote us out faster."
"Anywho, here's the deal. There are three items that I've hidden around the island, one each in the balsam forest, some pet cemetery I found to the south of the island, and the cave where Cameron found Scuba Bear. Now, your team will be given a set amount of points, ten points per chump. If you find the item first, you get a fifty-point bonus.
"But be warned! There's also a giant mutant spider on the island, and it wants to eat some tasty campers so it can survive the long, cold winter. Granted, there's only, like, a month of winter left, but it's not going to take any chances. Any chump who isn't present when your team finds the item will cost your team ten points. Whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins!"
"Well, it looks like we've got the advantage already," Jen noted, as her team had two more people than the others.
"Start running! Good luck!"
Team Amazon: Cody, Jasmine, Eva, Emma, MacArthur, Ella, Sky, Sugar, and Carrie. (90)
Team CIRRRRH: Tyler, Owen, Noah, Jen, Crimson, Ennui, Justin, Jo, Beardo, Devin, and Brick. (110)
Team Victory: Harold, Leshawna, DJ, Lindsay, Sammy, Scarlett, Taylor, Jacques, and Josee. (90)
Team Victory
DJ and the Ice Dancers arrived at the Balsam Forest first. "Start looking for anything out of the ordinary!" Josee barked. "If I know Chris, it is likely to be brightly-colored and small."
"Then I guess it is good that there are no small birds out at this time of year," Jacques remarked. An American robin landed on his head. "Never mind." The robin chirped and pecked at his forehead. "OW!" The bird flew away as Jacques batted his hands at the creature.
"Uh...maybe we should wait for the others," DJ said timidly. "Chris did say that we'll lose a bunch of points if we find the thing when we aren't all here."
"This is a large forest," Jacques reminded him. "If we do not start searching now, we will be here all day. Come, Josee, let's carry our team to its namesake." Josee followed him deeper into the forest and DJ sighed.
Sammy and Harold arrived. "Whew!" Sammy panted, clutching her knees. "Man, I am so out of shape. Oh, hey Deej! Where's..."
"They want to find whatever it is by themselves," DJ sighed.
"Then we'll find it first!" Harold declared. "If the Ice Dancers find it we'll go down to twenty points, but if we find it we'll get like, thirty at least."
"Forty now that I'm here, sugah," Leshawna declared as she joined them. "And soon t'be more, Scarlett says she found somethin' weird in the dirt." She led them away to Scarlett's finding.
Confessional – DJ.
"Bad news? It wasn't whatever it is we're supposed to be looking for," DJ said. His face grew panicked. "Worse news? IT WAS A SPIDER FOOTPRINT!" Cut to a photograph of a capsule-shaped footprint with a tissue box next to it for scale; the footprint was twice the size of the box.
Confessional – Harold.
"Who just, like, leaves a tissue box out in the middle of the woods? Super uncool littering, man."
Team CIRRRH
"Hey, why's that tree painted?" Jen asked, pointing to a balsam fir with a prominent knothole between ten and eleven feet above the ground. The bright, neon pink, sparkly blue, and dayglo orange paint hastily sprayed underneath it made it all the more prominent.
"That's gotta be where the thingy is," Tyler said.
"'Thingy'?" Jo asked, amused.
"I don't know what it is!" Tyler defended himself.
"Fair enough, knucklehead. Alright, I'm going up there. Owen, you're sturdy, gimme a boost so I can reach it."
"Sure!" Owen replied, bending down and letting Jo get onto his shoulders. He stood up fully and then Jo did too, her arm just able to reach the hole. Owen winced as the heels of Jo's hiking boots dug into his shoulders while she padded her hand around the knothole.
"Got it!" Jo said at last, removing her hand and crouching down before jumping off of Owen's shoulders. Owen sighed in relief and rubbed his sore shoulders. "It's a key!" She showed her team an old-fashioned brass key.
"So we're looking for random pieces of junk that were left behind on the island which Chris decided to use for this challenge," Noah mused. "Sounds about right."
"Congratulations, Team Me!" Chris' voice boomed over a loudspeaker. "You found the forest's prize! Now put it back so the other kids can find it." Owen sighed and let Jo climb onto his shoulders again so she could put the key back. "Since you found it first with all of your team in attendance, you lose zero points and gain fifty of them!"
"All right!" Devin cheered, high-fiving Brick and Beardo.
"Teams Amazon and Victory, you might wanna get a move on, since Team Me is now able to move on to the next item! Oh, and Noah? You're only correct about the first prize. The second prize will be instrumental in finding the third!"
"Right, got it."
Confessional – Noah.
"So I got it half-wrong. I'm a genius, not a god. I don't know everything."
Team Amazon
Behind the rest of her team, Sky was trodding along the snowy ground, which crunched under her boots, when she heard someone behind her. "Hello?" she asked, turning around, expecting to see either an intern or another team. But no one was there. "Huh. That's odd."
"Skah! Hurreh up!" Sugar hissed. "We're behaind!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming! I just heard footsteps but no one was there."
"It could be the spider," Cody noted. "If there's no one behind you it might've gone into the trees before you turned around fully."
Sky shivered. "I know they're important for the natural order and all, but I am not looking forward to seeing a giant spider."
"It could just be a tarantula-sized spider," Jasmine remarked. "A real giant arachnid's not gonna be possible given how they breathe."
"The lingering nuclear waste on this island violates all of the known laws of physics, especially the square-cube law, and we've seen what it can do to arthropods before. The Blue Beetles' mascot was a lot bigger than a darkling beetle should be, after all," Emma reminded her. Jasmine nodded thoughtfully at this. "Stay vigilant and watch your backs. The sooner we find the hiding spot for the item, the sooner we can move on to the next clue and away from the oversized orb weaver...assuming that it is an orb weaver and not something else like a cobweb spider."
Confessional – Emma.
"I had a bug phase when I was six. Kitty never really got the appeal of it, the cockroach bathtub back in the fall made that much obvious."
The team resumed walking and were about to approach the tree when Sky suddenly screamed. "Sky?!" MacArthur yelped, turning around. Sky was gone, the only indicator of her disappearance being a set of footprints and a long, bluish-purple hair lying on the snow. "Uh-oh. Cody, you were right about the spider."
"I'll say," Cody gulped. "Now what?"
"We faind our thingeh, that's what!" Sugar declared, marching off.
"We can't leave Sky to the spider!" Ella exclaimed, causing the Pageant Prat to stop walking. "I won't have my friend die. We have to rescue her!"
"No, we gotta keep movin'!" Sugar barked, whirling around to glare at the noirette. "We're gonna lose if y'all go runnin' off for her! B'sides, she's a feisty one, she'll be faine." Ella looked despondent at that.
"Alright, Sugar, tell ya what," Jasmine interjected. "I'll go with Ella to rescue Sky. Everyone else, keep looking for the stuff and stay together. Try to get to the second item before everyone else."
"Fine by me," Eva nodded.
"Same here," Emma agreed. "Try to be quick about it, too. If you find the item, find the rest of us first and then look at it."
"Can do, mate. C'mon, Ells, let's save Sky." The two walked away, ignoring Sugar's furious expression.
Confessional – Sugar.
"GAH!" Sugar roared. "I hayte that little twerp! She's stealin' mah powah!" She glared at the camera. "SHE. PAYS. NOW. Or whenevah she comes back from spidah huntin'!"
Some time later
"Alright!" Chris announced to the audience, standing in front of the building where he slept. "It's been an hour and all three teams have found the first item: a key! But what's item number two? You shall see!" He chuckled. "Heh, I'm an awesome poet."
From off to the side, Chef rolled his eyes. "Sure are," he snarked.
"Thanks!" Chris replied, not recognizing his sarcasm.
Score:
Team Amazon: 90 – 3(10) = 60.
Team CIRRRRH: 110 + 50 = 160.
Team Victory: 90 – 2(10) = 70.
Team Victory
"If the Ice Dancers had found the key themselves instead of us, and they found it first instead of Team Chris, then we would have the same score as we do now, so we'd be break-even," Scarlett pondered.
"Tell that to them," Leshawna grumbled as the Ice Dancers furiously dressed Lindsay down for abandoning them.
"I'm super duper sorry, Jack and Josie," Lindsay winced.
"She actually got pretty close that time," Harold remarked to himself.
"But like, if we'd stuck together we would've found it all together."
"Yeah, and it's not like either of you found it either," Taylor grimaced. "That was us who found the painted tree. For all your bragging you aren't nearly as good as you say you are."
"Watch yourself, morveuse," Josee growled. "We are perfectly capable of managing without you given a chance. Why Chris did not bring our own friends onto the show, I do not know."
"That raises a pretty good question, actually," Sammy said. "How did he choose the cast for this show anyway?"
"I believe that he simply chose three of the eleventh-grade homerooms and filled in the remainder from other grades to fill out his list of eighty-four," Scarlett explained. "It would have been the easiest thing for him to do."
"But why eighty-four?" DJ asked. "That's kind of a weird number to be honest. Why not fifty? Or one hundred?"
"There's a three-day cycle between challenges, right?" Harold said. "And we started a week into the schoolyear. Three times eighty-four is two hundred and fifty-two, and since there are 196 days in Pahkitew's school year Chris basically gets us for the entire year except June."
"I guess he couldn't negotiate June because of finals," DJ mused.
"THIS IS SO BORING!" Chris groaned. "I'm cutting to break right now before the audience falls asleep. Who decided to record that, anyway?!"
"You did, sir," Joseph said from the other side of the camera.
Chris ignored him and faced the camera. "Will Team Victory ever stop talking about school administration and my selection process?" he asked dryly. "Find out after these messages."
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"FINALLY! UGH! We're back!" Chris groaned. "It's been an hour and fiiiinally Team Victory has been victorious at something. Cut to Team Victory!"
Cut to Team Victory, with Jacques and Josee reading the second clue, which was hung onto the door of the pet cemetery by a yellow plastic cable tie. "6-6-18-6," Josee read aloud. She frowned. "Very evil numbers indeed."
"Yeah, eighteen sure is evil," Taylor snarked.
"I know, right?! Seniors are like, awful half the time!" Harold griped.
"Tell me about it," Leshawna agreed. "Leshaniqua's told me all sortsa stories about the jerks she's gotta go to class with. Anyway, what do you think about the numbers?"
"They're probably the year marker on a headstone," the Dweeb pondered, tapping his foot as he thought. "There's like, no month or day that can have sixty-six on it, and the last two digits of a year can be separated from the first two. So if you put a zero in front of the third six–"
"June sixth, 1806," Leshawna finished. "There's our prize."
"I am not going to dig up a grave," Jacques grimaced. "One of you will do it."
"We will?" Lindsay asked.
"No, we aren't," Scarlett replied. "Knowing Chris he likely dug out the offending crypt yesterday to make this episode proceed faster." Jacques glared at her but relented, and the group split up to look for the right headstone, spreading out to cover more ground.
In the far-right corner of the cemetery, Sammy found it. "Guys, I found an open grave! Wish I could tell what it said, though, it's pretty dark out." The cloud cover had increased dramatically while they were searching, as though it were about to rain later in the day.
Scarlett whipped out a mini-flashlight of her own design and pointed it at the headstone. The metal plaque mounted below the skull decal read JUNE 6, 1806. "You found the correct grave, Samantha. Excellent job."
"Stand aside," Jacques said, snatching the mini-flashlight from Scarlett's hand and pointing it at the grave.
"Hey!" Scarlett snapped. "ASK before you do that!"
There were three plastic cases in the same colors as the tree's graffiti marks. Each one had "ACE FLASHLIGHT CO." stamped on the top and sides in black. "You may have this back," Jacques said dismissively, tossing the light behind him. Scarlett fumbled for it and eventually grabbed it. "It seems like our prize will make that device unneeded."
"Great job, Team V!" Chris announced over the loudspeakers. "Since all of you were inside the cemetery when you found your box of flashlights, you get full credit for finding them!"
"Thank you, Chris," Jacques said. "Do we replace the flashlights?"
"Nope! You'll need those for the next part of your challenge. Take your team's box, in this case the orange one, and get going!"
"Wow, and here I was thinking this would be a challenge," Josee smirked as Jacques retrieved the orange box of flashlights, opened it, and handed one to her. "This was trop facile!"
Confessional – Chris.
"Yeah, that was too easy. Idea!" He pulled out a walkie-talkie and turned it on. "Dakota, I've got a job for you." Her beleaguered sigh was so loud and heavy that it could be heard by the audience.
Confessional – Scarlett.
"Jacques and Josee are acting quite aggressively today. I surmise it is because they have less influence over us now than they did before, especially given the return of ten competitors, most if not all of them Misfits." She frowned. "It would be prudent of me to watch myself around them. With Alejandro gone, they'll be more focused on dealing with us unpopular folk than they were before, and that includes me."
Team CIRRRRH
Team CIRRRRH watched a miserable Dakota as she slumped off, a dirty shovel slung over her shoulder. "That's not reassuring," Noah said after she was gone. "Chris probably had her put up booby traps."
"Just now?!" Tyler yelped.
"I guess one of the other teams got done too fast," Jo mused. "What kind of traps do you think he made?"
"Since we're doing something similar to the last challenge, I'm gonna guess mines," Justin said. "Let's take the long way around just in case."
"Long way sounds good," Owen agreed. The team turned and began their trek through the bushes on either side of the open path before them. Unfortunately, they didn't see the thorny bushes ringing the cemetery until it was too late.
Confessional – Jen.
Jen muttered incomprehensible angry gibberish as she sewed up a hole in her coat. "Rosebushes! They were ROSEBUSHES! And sharp ones, too!" She huffed. "And this was one of my better winter coats, too!"
Team Amazon
"FINALLEH!" Sugar growled as Team Amazon tromped into the clearing where the cemetery was located. Team CIRRRRH had already been there as evidenced by the sorry state of the rosebushes, many of them crushed flat by Owen's massive feet.
"Let's get this over with," Emma huffed. She stepped on a patch of ground that exploded, knocking her flat on her back. "OW!"
"[D word] pseudomines from the fashion challenge are back!" Eva swore. "I thought they were all used up!"
"I guess Chris had enough left over to booby-trap the way here," Carrie said nervously. "We should probably go around. I think one of the other teams was here when the mines were being put in and didn't go this way. Look at the bushes!"
Emma got up and saw where Carrie's black glove-clad finger was pointing. "Good eye. They've cleared a path right for us. Scylla and Charybdis, only Scylla's lost her teeth."
"Probably shoulda brushed," MacArthur remarked. Everyone else stared at her. "No? Not feeling that one?"
"We ain't goin' that way!" Sugar growled. "I ain't goin' down there an' gettin' lost! I got a way straight to it right there, and ah'm usin' it!"
"Are you that confident that you can avoid all the mines?" Eva asked incredulously.
"Course I can!" Sugar scoffed. She marched ahead only to step on a mine, knocking her flat on her face. She got up, growled, then kept walking. The others exchanged a look and decided to go the long way around.
Suddenly, there was a scream. When Emma turned around, Carrie and Cody were gone. "That's not good," she winced. "I hope Ella and Jasmine find them soon."
"Yeah, before it finds us," MacArthur agreed, heading into the bushes.
Score:
Team Amazon: 90(2) – 5(10) = 130.
Team CIRRRRH: 110(2) + 50 = 270.
Team Victory: 90(2) – 2(10) + 50 = 210.
Meanwhile
Deep in the balsam forest, Jasmine grimaced. "It's getting awfully dark out. We're at a disadvantage."
"How come?" Ella asked.
"Spiders generally have poor eyesight but excellent hearing. All those hairs on their bodies let 'em sense even the tiniest vibration. Even in the dark, it'll know where we are."
Ella laughed nervously. "Then we should find Sky before it comes back." They emerged from the forest into a clearing. A pair of towering tulip trees stood in the middle, a massive web between them. In the dim afternoon light the girls could see a bound Sky stuck to a lower strand of silk.
"Guys!" Sky exclaimed. "I'm so glad you're here!"
"Let's get you down, girl," Jasmine said, grabbing the silk encasing Sky and easily ripping her right out of the web. "Holy dooley. It looks like the tensile strength of the spider's silk didn't fully scale with the spider. Can you walk?"
"I don't think so, I lost the feeling in my ankles about twenty minutes ago." Sky tried to stand but wobbled and fell forwards. "Yeah, you might need to carry me."
"HEEEEEEELP!" The girls looked up and gulped as the silhouette of the spider thumped into the clearing. Carrie and Cody, wrapped in silk up to their necks like Sky had been, were clutched in the arachnid's pedipalps. The spider dropped the two on the ground and trilled angrily, sensing the presence of the intruders by the sound of their breathing.
"DUCK!" Jasmine shouted, ducking as the spider lunged at her, its fangs just missing the top of her hat. The creature, a mutated male pumpkin spider that was purple instead of orange, was absolutely massive, its body roughly the size of a hippopotamus with a legspan twice as wide, yet it moved with the grace of a creature a million times smaller. It trilled again, a noise reminiscent of a finger running across the teeth of a comb but far louder and deeper, and lunged once more.
Ella jumped to the side, but as she did her hand ran across a patch of skin on the right side of its abdomen that was a different texture from the rest of it: crackly and soft, rather than smooth and firm. The spider trilled at a higher pitch in distress. "You're hurt," Ella realized after falling on her butt. She stood up and approached it.
"Ella, don't!" Jasmine protested.
Ella did. She removed her left glove and placed a small hand on the burned patch. "Someone burned you," she said, tracing its shape. She gasped. "Not burned...branded." The patch was in the shape of Chris' face.
"Why would Chris brand a spider?!" Sky asked, incredibly confused.
"To make it angry," Cody realized. "Remember the fire-breathing goat? Apparently Chris got it to attack the princes in that challenge by hitting it on the butt with a branch. I think he did something similar here."
Ella whimpered, and then she approached the spider, removing her other glove as she did so. Light, somber guitar music started playing, and the world around them lit up with fireflies. "Crikey!" Jasmine exclaimed. "Fireflies in February?! They should all be larvae right now!"
"Jasmine, again, this island makes no sense!" Sky hissed. Ella opened her mouth and began to sing in a soft, ethereal voice, slowly approaching the spider's face:
My friend, I see that you are hurting.
About your hurting, you don't know what to do.
And I also know what it's like to be hurting
And I don't want to be hurting anew.
For we are all just straaaaaaaange things,
Strange things in the night.
We are all just straaaaaaaange things,
Strange things certainly.
Hiah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhhhhh.
The spider somehow raised an eyebrow over three of his eight eyes as Ella stood on her tiptoes to better look him in the face.
I am sorry, my friend, that you are hurting.
But attacking us will never bring you peace.
So lay down your fangs and webs, and I promise you, my friend,
That you'll find that your turmoil will cease.
For we are all just straaaaaaaange things,
Strange things in the night.
We are all just straaaaaaaange things,
Strange things certainly.
Hiah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhhhhh.
The other kids exchanged a confused look, but then they gasped. Ella reached up to the spider's face and began to gently stroke it.
Weeeeeeeee know of pain
And we know how pain consumes
But theeeeeere's a quick way
For joy and love's place to resume.
Looooooooooove is the answer
To all this grief and pain.
Looooooooooove's what you need now
And it's what I'll give to you.
The spider's eyes widened and he bowed, shaking a little. The others swore that he started crying. Ella kept stroking his face as she wrapped up her song.
I am sorry, my friend, that you are hurting.
But attacking us will never bring you peace.
So lay down your fangs and webs, and I promise you, my friend,
That you'll find that your turmoil will cease.
For we are all just straaaaaaaange things,
Strange things in the night.
We are all just straaaaaaaange things,
Strange things certainly.
The background music ended and the fireflies disappeared. Ella smiled sweetly at the spider. "Now, my friend, I have noticed your great speed and great strength. Can you assist us with something? I promise that I will set you free afterwards."
Confessional – Carrie and Sky.
"Okay, what the heck?! Ella can do THAT?!" Sky exclaimed.
"Well, she is a Datknee lover, and taming wild animals is something that Datknee princesses do..." Carrie muttered.
Team Amazon
"I don't see any signs of other teams being here," Emma said, inspecting the outside of the cave.
"I don't see hardly anything," MacArthur griped as she waved her flashlight around, dissatisfied by its low output. "Chris just had to give us the dumb flashlights, didn't he?"
"MacArthur?" Eva asked, looking quite fed up with the challenge by now.
"Yeah?"
"Have you seriously forgotten how much of a cheapskate Chris is for anything not related to challenge environments?"
"It's been like, a month since I've been here!" MacArthur defended herself. "You too!"
"Girls, girls, calm down," Emma said. "I think I see something on the outside of the cave. It's a...rope. I think we're supposed to climb up the rope to reach the top of the cave."
"Rope?" All grievances were forgotten about as MacArthur scrambled towards the rope. "Well? Let's get to it!"
"Wait for us!" came Cody's voice.
"Oh, good, you guys are – HOLY [S WORD]!" MacArthur's jaw dropped as the giant spider thumped into view, carrying the missing five Amazons on his back. "So that's where you've been!" Sugar, who'd been uncharacteristically silent the entire time, saw Ella at the front of the spider and growled.
"Hello, everyone!" Ella beamed. "Sorry we're late, we had a hard time finding your voices. But we're here to help!"
"With a giant spaidah?" Sugar grimaced. "How 'zactly's that s'posed to help?"
"Like this!" Ella replied cheerfully. "Alright, friend, can you web up the others and carry them in your palps?" The spider nodded, which was strange for a creature without a neck, and webbed up the other kids into a sac. Once he finished, he gingerly picked them up with his mouth and simply walked up the side of the cave to the top, where Chris was standing.
"Team Amazon, you have done it! You've gotten here first with everyone, so a complete score will be awarded to you for this part!" Chris announced as the kids disembarked from the arachnid. "However, the other two teams had more points than you did by the end of Round Two, so you might still lose."
"At least we had fun," Emma quipped. "Oh, that's right..."
Ella looked up at the spider. "You're free now." The spider bowed to her but then he saw Chris and remembered that he'd been branded by him. Angrily trilling, the spider lifted his left frontmost leg and gently pushed Chris onto his back. He stood taller and then bounded away into the trees.
Confessional – MacArthur.
"Well, THAT was weird. I feel like I'm missing some important context here."
Confessional – Sugar.
Sugar fumed. "HOW. DAIR. THAT STUPID [F WORD]ING PRINCESS MAKE US LOSE! IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T EVEN CAYUH THAT SHE MADE US LOSE!"
Some time later
Noah and Owen panted as they hauled themselves up the rope. "Ow," Noah grunted. "Did we make it?'
"I hope so," Owen replied. "I can't feel my knees anymore."
"You did," Jo affirmed, standing above them, along with the rest of the kids.
"And with that, the game is over!" Chris announced, lighting his face with a flashlight, his hair somewhat disheveled and the back of his jacket visibly muddy. "Team Me, like me, you're the winner!"
"I agree with only some of that sentence," Crimson snarked.
"With 380 points and no lost chumps, your size advantage and overall cohesion earned you first place! Team Victory, you didn't do quite as well, but with 300 points even you're safe from elimination! Team Amazon, though, you lost a lot of people. Like, half your team. Coming here first only cancelled out the points you lost, and you are thus left with your baseline 270 points possible. Meet me at the campfire at eight, Team Amazon, it's time to vote someone out!"
Unable to take it anymore, Sugar screamed. "THIS IS ALL YER FAULT, ELLA!" She dashed towards Ella, fury in her eyes, and raised her fist for a punch. Ella dodged it in time, but doing so let Sugar drive her thick, heavy knees into Ella's chest. She continued to yell as she pushed down further into the thinner girl. "STEALIN' MAH VICT'RIES, MAH POWAH, MAH FRIENDS–"
"WE WERE NEVER YOUR FRIENDS!" came Eva's furious roar as she grabbed Sugar by the shoulders and hammer-threw her off of Ella. Sugar landed roughly in yet another rosebush.
Eva panted as the other kids looked at her in fear. "Mess with one Misfit, you mess with all Misfits. Understood?" The non-Misfits hastily nodded yes, not wanting to be on the business end of Eva's temper themselves.
Team Amazon: 90(3) – 5(10) + 50 = 270.
Team CIRRRRH: 110(3) + 50 = 380.
Team Victory: 90(3) – 2(10) + 50 = 300.
Confessional – Sugar.
Holding a tissue to her still-bleeding nose, Sugar seethed. "ELLA GOES!" She wrote ELLA on a piece of paper. "And then that no-good gorilla's goin' next!"
Confessional – Sky.
"I wish I could've been here to prevent us from losing. Maybe then Sugar wouldn't have flipped out so badly. Although, to be honest, I think it was only a matter of time. And speaking of time..." She wrote SUGAR on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Emma.
"I convinced Sugar to go first to make sure she doesn't rig the votes again, and Jasmine's keeping an eye on her until Simon comes to collect the votes," Emma explained as she wrote SUGAR on a piece of paper. "She's gone too far this time. Assaulting Ella for looking out for her friends is unacceptable. If Ella hadn't gone, Cody, Carrie, and Sky could have died. Sugar honestly can't see the bigger picture, and that makes her dangerous to keep around."
Confessional – Ella.
Ella sighed. "It has to be done." She wrote SUGAR on a piece of paper.
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Only two marshmallows were colored out of the dozen. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got to shine a light on drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Cody, Jasmine, Eva, Emma, MacArthur, Sky, and Carrie." The seven of them got their marshmallows.
"Blue means you received only one vote against you. Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. Neither are present today once again." Two colored marshmallows remained. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, and red means you're out. Sugar. Ella."
Sugar fumed again. Ella looked impassive.
"Sugar, you've been close to elimination more times than you can shake a stick at. Ella, you just got back and you're already in the danger zone, sucks to be you I guess. And in another landslide vote...
...
...
...
...
"Sugar, you are NOT safe this time! Ella received only one vote, and you received the other eight! You're gone for good!"
Sugar's jaw dropped. "But...Ella don't vote!"
"I did today," Ella said grimly. Sugar gaped at her. "Sugar, you're a bully. None of us like you, and it's because you're selfish, immature, and extremely petty. When you get home, I ask you to improve on these issues."
For once, Sugar had no reply, and wordlessly got up and left.
Confessional – Scarlett.
"Good riddance, I say. But Eva will have to keep an eye on her emotions if she's to stick around. Something tells me that Jacques and Josee are going to exploit her outburst this afternoon to garner votes against her, and soon."
"Will Scarlett's prediction come true? Keep watching to find out!" Chris stood in front of the Good Cabin. "Fifty-six down once again. Twenty-eight remain once again. Who'll shine bright like a diamond and who'll shine dull like a pencil lead? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
"'Shine dull like a pencil lead?'" Tyler asked from the window above, confused.
"Y'know, since graphite is made of the same stuff as diamond but is black and – oh, never mind."
Votes:
Cody – Sugar
Jasmine – Sugar
Eva – Sugar
Emma – Sugar
MacArthur – Sugar
Ella – Sugar
Sky – Sugar
Sugar – Ella
Carrie – Sugar
Results: 8-1 Sugar-Ella
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo, Katie, Trent, Kitty (t), Gwen, Dave (ii), Courtney, Tom, Dawn (t), Izzy (r), Jay, Lightning, Stephanie, Cameron (nj), Ryan, B, Mike (q), Duncan, Amy, Topher, Sadie, Laurie, Bridgette, Sanders, Sierra, Shawn (r), Sam, Heather, Miles, Zoey, Geoff (t), Alejandro, Sugar
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Justin (Ella)
Bonus clip:
The clouds finally cleared, and Simon could see where he was going by the light of the waxing gibbous Moon. He was watching the boat leave the Dock of Shame when he saw a sharkfin move languidly through the water. A fin that was a familiar shade of baby blue.
Simon gulped. "Well, crap."
Fang was waking up.