Review time!
Joel Connell: Thanks! The original episode is...problematic by today's standards of representation. It took a while to figure out what would replace Chris' original second part, but when I reread the myth of Sun Wukong I decided that it was a perfect opportunity to bring back Mount McLean and Sasquatchanakwa. Tyler had a pretty good run in THD, and his elimination is a sign that Jacques, Josee, and even Taylor are stepping up their games, as are Chris and Blaineley...
HotPink Tigeress: I have a story to tell. If my hands weren't in such constant pain and I had more motivation & free time, perhaps we'd be further along.
kathmanw19: I already have an ending in mind.
Concerned Reader: Thanks for enjoying! I'm alive, I've just been having trouble working things out on this chapter, plus some weird stuff at my job. I've taken a break from this story to focus on some other fanfics I've come up with, but I plan to finish this one. Perhaps if I watched the new season I'd have more ideas...
(AN: Humbler is the TD-verse version of Tumblr.)
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
"Last time on Total Drama – we did another Chinese challenge, but this time not in China! [Justin and Jen doing Crane Pose] We had our kids do some kung fu moves, and some of them [Josee earning a nine out of ten] were better at it than certain others. [Tyler tripping on his suit] Then we reenacted a Chinese myth with some Canadian twists [the new Mount McLean] and Canadian monsters. [Sasquatchanakwa stealing peaches] Truth had the advantage of getting two fruits at a time [Noah reminding Lindsay of the rule] and won the challenge! And because of Tyler's big screw-up [Tyler colliding with the crate], Lie lost the game, and three guesses as to who went out, first two [Josee scheming, cut to Taylor angering her teammates] don't count. [Tyler's elimination]"
Chris walked over to the VR machine. "Today we'll be having our fifty-fifth challenge, and you know what that means. That's right, it's another trip into the Total Drama Virtual Reality Generator." He entered the main room and strapped one of the VR helmets on.
A flash of light, and the scene shifted to a world resembling Scotland. Chris, now wearing a stereotypical Viking costume, came onscreen. "Och aye, we're heading to the Scottish Hebrides for one beast of a challenge! Twenty-six contestants remain once again. Who'll be bold and who'll be very, very unfortunate? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a chicken. Another came from a tree, startling a Scottish hairy cow that was inappropriately called a "yak". The third popped out of the dirt and was eaten by a Whispering Death exiting the ground and flying off.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across a dreary little island before the screen zoomed out to reveal that the camera was strapped to the back of a Terrible Terror.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
Another Terror flew up to it and started squabbling with it in midair, their brawl ending with the little dragons knocking each other out with a headbutt.
I wanna be famous
Josee and Taylor battled it out on the backs of two Monstrous Nightmares, Josee's red and Taylor's green. The Terrors landed on their heads during the fight, blinding them.
*Instrumental*
Josee and Taylor crash-landed next to Owen, who was brushing the teeth of a Gronckle with a broom. Boy and dragon exchanged a confused look.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Justin rode on the back of a Singetail in front of the Sun, taking in the view and breathing deeply.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Far below, Brick was swimming in the ocean as fast as he could away from a Scauldron that was pursuing him.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sammy and Cody took a selfie with a Deadly Nadder. The flash blinded it and made it faint, much to their surprise.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
From the back of a Hideous Zippleback, Jo cackled as she chased a flock of sheep (and an unlucky Harold) with a bunch of explosions.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Emma approached a Night Fury with her palm outstretched. Instead of letting her touch its snout, the dragon protracted its teeth and bit her. Emma screamed.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
A blob of acid hit the dragon in the eye, making it let go of Emma's arm, thankfully still intact. Noah got down from the Changewing and started to bandage his girlfriend's arm, the Night Fury and the Changewing brawling in the background.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Crimson and Ennui looked each other in the eyes...and then a tree fell on them. Everyone else glared at the Timberjack who'd accidentally felled it; the dragon laughed sheepishly and nervously sidestepped away despite not having legs.
VR Building
"Have you kids ever heard of Vikings and Dragons?" Chris asked.
"Who hasn't?" MacArthur asked. "It's like, one of the biggest nerd movies of all time."
"Yeah, even I know what it is," Taylor snarked.
"Well, you're going to live out the dream of all those weird Humbler fangirls today, for you are going to the Island of Blerk in today's challenge! Check your seats for your teams!"
Beardo, Brick, Cody, Devin, DJ, Ella, Emma, Jasmine, Jen, Justin, MacArthur, Noah, and Sammy's circles had a brown face making a goofy expression on it.
And Carrie, Crimson, Ennui, Harold, Jacques, Jo, Josee, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Scarlett, Sky, and Taylor's had a black burglar mask with stink lines coming off it.
"If you got a brown circle, you are the Hairy Hooligans! If you got a black circle, you are the Bog Burglars! Once in the game, you will be turned into little Vikings yourselves! Hooligans will wear brown furs and Burglars will wear black furs."
"So what is our objective? Train dragons?" Scarlett asked.
"I hope so," Ella beamed. "Some of the dragons in the movie and its follow-up TV series were really cute!"
"Not quite, although you will have the opportunity to get a dragon mount," Chris replied. "Here's the deal:
"The Burglars and the Hooligans are competing over which clan is the best clan, and have learned of a device called the Dragonscope that can point them towards any island that a dragon might call home. This includes the never-before-seen Life Dragon, whose shed scales, legend says, can protect your village from disease for a hundred years! If you have the Dragonscope, you can find the Life Dragon and become the best Viking clan of all time!
"Your objective is to capture the Dragonscope before the other team does! Whichever team gets it first will win the game automatically the moment one of your members touches it! Additionally, anyone who tames a dragon and keeps said dragon by the end of the challenge will get some bonus points to use in Friday's challenge!"
"Chris, finding the Dragonscope took an entire season in that show that took like, an in-universe year," Harold piped up. "We so don't have that much time."
"Which is why this challenge is set during the season two finale when the identity of the island that the Dragonscope is on is known!" Chris replied. "But since you guys don't have dragons, just getting there is the real challenge. Good luck!"
Miranda pressed a button once everyone had their helmets strapped on, and footage of a Viking city appeared on the canvas screen...
Hairy Hooligans: Beardo, Brick, Cody, Devin, DJ, Ella, Emma, Jasmine, Jen, Justin, MacArthur, Noah, and Sammy.
Bog Burglars: Carrie, Crimson, Ennui, Harold, Jacques, Jo, Josee, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Scarlett, Sky, and Taylor.
Hairy Hooligans
"Y'know, I've been meaning to ask: how are we not getting copyright struck over this?" Emma asked. They'd been set down in the heart of the village, dressed in stereotypical Viking outfits with brown furs.
"I dunno, Chris or Blaineley blackmailed a producer somewhere?" Beardo replied. "Alright, how familiar is everyone with this show, because I did not know it had a TV series until today."
"I'm a fanboy, I call dibs on leading the team," Cody piped up.
"You do look an awful lot like Burp," Noah quipped.
"Har har. Anyway, we're definitely going to need dragons and a boat to get the thing we want. The Dragonscope is located on an island a long way from here, and I don't think we'll be able to find and train thirteen dragons in time. Ella and DJ are better with animals than anyone else here, so you two are our first line of trainers."
"There are dragons in the ocean and dragons on the land, so I think we should split up," Ella said.
"Cool if I take the sea dragons?" DJ asked.
"Yes, that would be fine!"
"Brick, MacArthur, you're kinda like Vikings," Cody went on. "You guys should do the talking to the harbormaster, Admiral Grumples won't give a boat to just anyone. Bring Justin too just in case."
"Just in case, ha, I like it," Justin laughed.
"When that's done, I'll go with them on the boat. I'll need seven people in all on the boat, two more beyond the five I've just listed, and five of us should go with Ella."
The kids then played rock-paper-scissors to decide who of the remaining kids should go. In the end it was decided that Cody, DJ, Brick, MacArthur, Justin, and Emma would go to the island by sea, while Ella, Beardo, Devin, Jasmine, Jen, Noah, and Sammy would try to follow them in the air on dragonback.
Confessional – Jasmine.
"To be honest, I'm glad I ended up with the dragon-hunting group," Jasmine said. The confessionals were held in a Viking-styled outhouse. "My outdoorswoman skills are better on land than they are at sea, plus I don't have to stay on a cramped boat for extended periods of time."
Confessional – MacArthur.
"'Kinda like Vikings', he says. I like it."
Bog Burglars
On the other side of the Island of Blerk, the Bog Burglars shivered against the cold air, clad in outfits identical to the Hooligans' except for their furs being black instead of brown. "This bites," Jo shuddered.
"No kidding," Sky grimaced. "Chris couldn't've stuck us on a warmer part of the island?"
"Of course not, he's Chris, remember?" Scarlett asked. "Anyway, I think it would be best if we figured out a strategy for how we're going to beat the other team to today's objective. Unfortunately, I am not familiar with this island's geography, nor its lore."
"I am," Owen piped up. "This show's one of my favorites. The island we want to go to is to the south, and we're on the north side of Blerk."
"I'm also a mega fan of Vikings and Dragons," Harold added. "The Hooligans live on the south side of Blerk, so they'll have a time advantage. But the Burglars have an advantage too."
"Of course! Stonesthrow the Dragon Whisperer!" Owen exclaimed. "He can talk to dragons! That'll make training them a lot easier."
"I do feel like I should remind you that training a dragon would require finding a dragon," Jacques pointed out.
"Like that one?" Lindsay asked, pointing behind them. Everyone turned around to see a large, orange dragon with gazelle-like horns, two legs and two wings that it walked on like a pterosaur, and a long, finned tail. It was currently napping.
"That's a Flameskin, not a beginner dragon," Harold said cautiously. "They can, like, set themselves on fire."
"But they're also fast," Leshawna reminded him. "And we'll need speed if we're gonna catch up to the Hooligans."
"You watched it too?" Harold asked with a grin.
"I saw the movie when it came out, I remembered a few things." She smiled back at him. "But the show sounds interestin', I might check it out with you after."
Confessional – Harold.
"A date! A date! My fandom for a date!" Harold swooned. "They said I'd be forever alone! But, like, romantically, are you really alone when you've got bros?"
Confessional – Jacques and Josee.
"Owen would be my first choice to remove from this game," Jacques said. "He's friendly and he's loyal, remove him and the Misfits lose cohesion. But he won't be likely to get votes today, now that he's proven himself useful for the rest of us. The stringy ginger for the same reasons."
"And after our last little plan, Taylor is certainement a major target," Josee mused. "But I do believe that there is another Misfit we can remove. Someone who is as affable as the fat one but far less competent. Someone who, like Tyler, is clumsy enough for our schemes to not look as such."
"Ah, you mean Lindsay." Jacques finished with a malevolent grin. "An excellent choice, mon loup." Josee grinned back.
"But who's gonna wake up the dragon?" Carrie asked. "I don't want to be on the wrong side of its flames. Or its teeth. Or its claws. Or its spikes. Oh, heck with it, I don't want to be on any of its wrong sides."
"Have Lindsiot do it," Taylor replied. "It's her idea, she might as well."
"You may be onto something," Jacques agreed, relieved that he didn't have to announce the idea himself. "Lindsay is quite compassionate. As long as she does not startle the beast, we might be able to tame it."
Lindsay gulped. "I-I dunno, guys," she said nervously. "Isn't it, like, bad to wake up a sleeping lion?"
"This isn't a lion, it's a dragon," Taylor scoffed. "Different rules."
"W-well, if you say I should do it..." Lindsay tiptoed up to the sleeping dragon. She paused mid-step before its snout, and swallowed nervously. Instead of sitting down next to it, she decided to pace around, hoping it would wake up on its own and not mind seeing a human.
It was then that Jacques and Josee saw a small green dragon rubbing its cheeks on the side of a tree. Getting an idea, the two slipped out from the others and made a grabbing motion at it. The little dragon screamed. Lindsay stumbled, startled, and accidentally stepped on the Flameskin's tail.
The Flameskin woke up, wide yellow eyes bearing down at its unwitting assailant. "I'm so sorry!" Lindsay squeaked. The dragon growled, embers licking its lips, and roared at her before snapping its jaws at her. Lindsay screamed and ran to her team for safety. The Flameskin got up and flew off to find somewhere else to nap, and hopefully rest its now-sore tail.
"And our path to a quick victory has run away," Ennui sighed monotonously. "Such is life. Those who try to take the easy way will be punished. That said..." He turned to look at Lindsay. "What happened?"
"I-I'm sorry!" she stammered. "There was a noise and I got, like, surprised."
"A Screeching Emerald, by the sound of it," Harold mused. "They'll scream at the slightest provocation. Well, we can find another totally sweet dragon." He turned around and gasped. "Like a Bricklebrawn!"
A gray wyvern with a spiky gray hide and a large nose horn was sniffing curiously at the group from afar. "Not as fast as a Flameskin, but a lot tougher," Owen observed approvingly. "Hello there, Mr. Dragon. Do you want to help us?" The dragon plodded over and sniffed Owen's hand outstretched before placing his snout in his palm. The boy gasped giddily. "I'm doing it! I'm doing the thing!"
"Yes, you certainly are," Scarlett said approvingly. "We have our first dragon."
"And it's time for our break!" Chris said in a pub. "Will the Hooligans get a dragon of their own? Find out after these messages." He took a swig of his drink and spat it back out. "Ugh! Mead!"
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris announced to the audience. "Let's check on the Hooligans to see how they're faring!"
A stout man with a bushy red beard, Admiral Grumples, eyed Justin warily. "Give me one good reason I should give you our last boat, one we may need to evacuate our island with in the event of an emergency."
"Uh...we're going to get the Dragonscope before the Bog Burglars can get it?" Justin said nervously.
Admiral Grumples shrugged. "Well, that's a good reason, but we'll need something to replace it with."
"What about her?" Brick asked, pointing behind him to a massive light green dragon with nine heads and three tails who was panting like a dog.
"An Iggsdralizard? She'll do," Grumples said approvingly. "You've got yourselves a boat, kids. Go show those Burglars what a Hooligan can do."
While Grumples went to give the dragon commands, everyone else looked at Brick in confusion. "You were gone for five minutes, how did you find the rarest dragon on the island that fast?!" MacArthur cried. "I thought DJ was the animal guy, not you!"
"She found me!" Brick protested. "She followed me here!"
"At least we've got a boat," Justin said. "Too bad we don't have another dragon."
"Hey guys, I found a dragon!" DJ said, approaching the trio with a second Iggsdralizard, this one yellow, trailing him like a puppy.
"...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" MacArthur screamed.
Confessional – MacArthur.
"How did we find two extremely rare dragons in the space of FIVE MINUTES?!" MacArthur exclaimed. "And why aren't I the one finding the cool stuff?"
Bog Burglars
"Alright, so that's one dragon for our team, and it likes Owen so let's have him ride that one," Sky said. "Maybe two of us if another one of us can fit on its back." She blinked and slapped her forehead. "Oh, silly Sky, you can fit on the dragon too, you're certainly short enough for it."
"Bricklebrawns like salted halibut, feed him one of those and he'll trust you for sure," Owen said. "I'll take one too, but cooked."
"Excellent strategem, you two," Scarlett nodded. "Owen, Sky, tame the Bricklebrawn, and once he lets you get on his back proceed to the island where the Dragonscope is situated. If we start leaving now, we might be able to get a headstart on the Hooligans. Harold, I want you to find this 'Stonesthrow' fellow, I have an idea that we'll need his help to pull off. Everyone else, find a dragon. And Lindsay?"
"Y-yeah?" Lindsay whimpered.
"Be careful. I'd hate for you to lose a foot to one of these beasts, even if it'd only be in the virtual world." Lindsay nodded.
Confessional – Lindsay.
"I like, failed pretty bad earlier today," Lindsay gulped. "If I'm gonna stay, I gotta make it up to the team and do something nice. Something big."
Confessional – Taylor.
"She wants big?" Taylor chuckled. "I've seen some of the art for this show and I saw something in the woods. I'll give her big."
Sometime later
Harold arrived at a field where a flock of sheep was grazing, a hulking, robe-clad man watching over them. "Mr. Stonesthrow, I need your help!" The figure turned around, revealing..."Chef?!"
"Stonesthrow," Chef corrected. "The only black Viking in the world. Were there black Vikings? Dunno, don't care. What do you want me to do?"
"We were wondering if you could help us train some dragons, Oh Great Master of the Dragon's Tonuge," Harold said. "Scarlett said that she had a plan only you could help us pull off."
"That so? Alright, I'll bite. Beats standin' around with the sheep anyway."
Confessional – Harold.
"I thought Chef would be playing Admiral Grumples considering he's, well, a grump. But Stonesthrow's also a good role for him since he's full of odd wisdom. Like Chef is."
First Animal Confessional – Sheep.
An irate sheep bleated at the camera indignantly. I don't like standing around EITHER, pal, but I don't got a choice! I'm an AI-generated sheep, this is the only gig I got!
Hairy Hooligans
Cody went over the list. "Boat? Check. Gigantic nine-headed dragon with riders? Check. Thanks for taming him, Ella!"
"He was very tame already, but you are very welcome!" Ella replied from her spot on the Iggsdralizard's main head, Beardo, Devin, Jasmine, Jen, Noah, and Sammy perched on some of the others, leaving two heads unoccupied.
"Alright, now we just need to get this boat moving fast. DJ, can you chum the waters? I'm going to replicate something from S1E8 'The Love of Dragons'."
"Uh...okay, if you think it'll help." DJ grabbed a bucket of fish guts, recoiling at the stench, before gingerly dumping it into the water. "Now what?"
"We wait," Cody grinned.
Sammy caught on. "Ohhh, you're fishing for Seasnoods! I remember that episode, it was really cute!"
"'Seasnood'?" Jasmine asked.
"Like a worm on a string, but a sea serpent. They mate for life and are always found together."
Jasmine grinned. "So we'll get two dragons to pull the boat, two so we're not off-balance. Smart thinking, Cody."
"And it paid off," Noah observed. "Look, the water's bubbling." Indeed it was. Two long, slender dragons with light purple fur, comical-looking eyes, and long, narrow pointed snouts breached the surface of the bay and darted at the chum. Once they were done eating, they nuzzled each other, earning some coos and "Awww!"s from the girls (and DJ).
"Hey there, guys," DJ said gently to the dragons. "Mind helping us catch the waves?" The dragons looked at each other and nodded before rising out of the water, letting DJ pet their furry snouts. "Oho! This is awesome!"
"Give them each a rope, they'll do the rest," Cody ordered. "The Island of Bitter Fog, here we come!"
Bog Burglars
"Alright, what's your plan?" Chef asked.
"I want you to help us train some dragons," Scarlett said with a devious smirk. "But not for riding." She motioned for Crimson to move up and the goth girl did so, carrying two bewildered Screeching Emeralds under her arms like one would carry two cats.
Chef raised an eyebrow. "I'm listenin'."
Meanwhile
Lindsay sighed. "Oh, quit your moping," Taylor grumbled. "Yeah, you messed up, but so what? You mess up all the time, I wouldn't expect you to be so upset about messing up today."
"It's Tyler," the blonde explained. "He's outta the show already, and...I just wish he wasn't. He's like, so much smarter than me, he'd be better at finding dragons than I am."
"As much of a butterfingers as he is, you're right," Taylor said, causing Lindsay to deflate even further. "Seriously, most of the dragons are like, the size of buses and you can't even find one?" she went on, gesticulating wildly.
As Taylor waved her hands around, Lindsay spotted a distant flash of sapphire blue in the trees that Taylor had "inadvertently" pointed to. "Wait...dragon!" Lindsay gasped. "Shayla, I'm gonna get us a dragon and get us a win! Stay there!" She went running off to follow the dragon.
Taylor smirked. "Good luck," she said mockingly. "For me."
Further meanwhile
"Clearwings," Carrie groaned at the sight of a family of semi-transparent, whitish-gray wyrms curled up in a pile like garter snakes would do. "It had to be Clearwings."
"Do they trigger your worm phobia?" Josee asked.
"Y-yeah, even though they're spelled differently. Uh...Josee?"
Josee shoved her towards the pile. "They are snakes, not worms. I think. Whatever, just get us a dragon!"
Carrie trembled as she nervously approached the dragon pile, trying not to think about how they were segmented...like...an...earth–
The blonde dry heaved into a bush. The dragons woke up at the noise and glared angrily at the intruding humans, upset about their nap being interrupted. "Bother!" Josee cursed. "What could be worse than this?"
"Clearwings are some of the most venomous dragons in the franchise," Carrie groaned as she wiped her mouth. "Also, they can turn invisible." Josee gulped as the matriarch of the family hissed at her, forked tongue darting between scimitar-like fangs, before turning invisible and audibly lunging.
Confessional – Josee.
"I am surprised that did not eject me from the simulation," Josee, covered in angry red welts stemming from bite marks all over her torso, right arm, and face, mumbled through swollen lips.
Confessional – Clearwing Matriarch.
"If the humans want us to be their chauffeurs, the least they could do is talk to us AFTER we've woken up," the massive drakaina glowered. "Do you know how long I took getting all eleven of my hatchlings, AND my husband, to go to sleep?!"
"I wasn't tired!" her husband protested.
"Yes you were!"
"Yes I was." Her husband fell asleep on the spot as if on cue.
"See?" the matriarch added to the camera.
Hairy Hooligans
The Hooligans were cruising along the water, the ones in the boat pulled along by the Seasnoods, which each held a rope in their mouths, while those on the Iggsdralizard watched for trouble. "This was a great plan, Cody!" Emma complimented through the foam and spray churned up by the Seasnoods. "The island we want to go to is pretty far out, but with these Seasnoods we'll be there in no time!"
"That reminds me," Devin piped up. "When we're traveling long distances in these simulations...do we go faster than we actually would be? Because I've seen the map of this show's islands and it should be taking days to get this far out, even with dragons."
"It did take that long in the show," Cody called from above, "but Chris clearly sped things up so we can get our show done."
"Oh! Yeah, that makes sense. Maybe I should talk to Scarlett about this stuff."
"You may get your wish!" DJ gulped as the Bog Burglars came into view. Owen and Sky were riding the Bricklebrawn; far behind them, Ennui and Crimson were riding on a Clearwing (a different one from the family that Josee and Carrie had aggravated), Scarlett riding on a new Flameskin (this one smaller and redder than the one Lindsay had stepped on), and most of the others riding on smaller, stocky black-and-white dragons called Moldrakes. Surprisingly, Lindsay was nowhere to be seen; Josee at least had the excuse of being in-game injured, but Lindsay's absence was stranger, even to her own team.
"Ahoy there, Hooligans!" Scarlett called from above. "Surrender now and let us win!"
"You and what army?" MacArthur retorted.
"Uh...the army of dragons, Val?" Justin reminded her.
"Oh. Right. Shoot."
"Well, I tried," Scarlett said with a shrug. "Harold, Leshawna, deploy!" They obeyed, each dropping a pair of Screeching Emeralds from their mounts. The Screeching Emeralds flew up to the Iggsdralizard and did what they did best:
Screech.
With nine heads, the Iggsdralizard had a hard time staying upright, his heads writhing in pain as he tried to simultaneously block out the sound and snap up the little dragons to shut them up. One of his heads spewed a volley of yellow flames at an Emerald, only for the much more agile dragon to get out of the way in the nick of time.
As for his riders, they were thrown around as the dragon bucked and writhed. When two heads smacked into each other, Jasmine and Jen's heads smacked together too. "Crikey!" Jasmine groaned, clutching her head in pain. "How do we get our ride under control?"
"Iggsdralizards like to eat roots and mushrooms, but I don't have any on me!" Ella exclaimed with a gulp. "Oh, what could make this worse?"
"OPEN FIRE!" Taylor ordered, yanking roughly on her Moldrake's ear fins. The dragon roared in pain and spewed a stream of bullet-sized pebbles at the Hooligans' boat, tearing up its sail.
"Ella," Noah sighed, "please don't say stuff like that."
Confessional – Ella.
"Yyyyyyyyeah, that one's on me."
"Fire back!" Emma barked as Scarlett got dangerously close to the Seasnoods. The male on the right narrowed his purple eyes and spat out a torrent of extremely hot water, hitting her Moldrake's belly and causing it to buck in pain. Scarlett growled and directed an Emerald to the boat, where it screamed right into the Seasnood's ear. He writhed in pain, causing the ship to jostle.
"Nerd almost overboard!" Cody yelped as he slid precariously close to the water. Justin grabbed the ship's wheel and spun it, righting it. "Thanks!"
"We need another dragon, and fast!" Justin yelped. "Is there any albatross-like dragon in this show we could find out here?"
"Not that's been introduced in this season, no!"
"Hey, has anyone seen Lindsay?" Noah asked while he tried to calm his dragon. "Her absence is concerning to me. The Burglars might be planning a trick."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lindsay screamed as she suddenly appeared. She was on the back of a large, dark blue dragon with wings that looked like a luna moth's, white spots decorating the edges. Its skull was long and slender, its teeth blunt, its jaw strong and thick with two small jugal horns on each side. And it was fast.
"Ah, there she is," Noah said casually as if he wasn't at all surprised (which he was, but no one but the reader needed to know that).
"What's the blue guy she's riding?" Sky asked.
"A Nightmare Reaper," Harold breathed. "And a Mega Wing at that."
"Megawing?" Jacques asked.
"Yeah. Dragon development is broken into five stages in this universe. First is just the egg, then there's the Nipper, then the New Wing, the Large Wing, and finally the Mega Wing. Most dragons never reach the last one, it only happens if they get really old and eat a lot."
As the Reaper flew close to the Hooligans' boat, MacArthur did something impulsive and grabbed its tail. The dragon, too big to notice her, flew away as quickly as it came, MacArthur towed along for the ride and clinging for dear life.
"Val, what are you doing?!" Jen cried.
"Hitchhiking, by the looks of it," Noah realized. "That dragon is the fastest one in the show, even faster than Flameskins. If Lindsay's heading to our target island, MacArthur's going the same way faster than we can on the Iggsdralizard. And since only one person on a team needs to touch the MacGuffin to win it for all of us..."
"If MacArthur touches it, we win," Sammy finished. "Alright guys, let's cover for MacArthur make sure the Burglars don't figure her out. Let's fight back!" Their dragon now calm, he opened all nine of his mouths and let out a nontuple stream of flames at the other team.
Confessional – Jen.
"Ow! Hot!" Jen winced as she rubbed her butt, which was visibly red and steaming even through her fur pants. "Note to self: don't ride fire-breathing dragons bareback."
Lindsay's dragon took her over a smallish island shaped like a stingray that was covered in mist. MacArthur spluttered as the mist hit her mouth. "Yuck! Island of Bitter Fog is right!" she gagged. She waited for the dragon to pass low to the ground, then let go and landed in a tumble on her feet. "Whoo! Still got it. Jessie would be proud of that flip."
She wandered the island for a bit before coming to a small wooden building with a multi-tiered roof. "This must be the temple whatsit. Did Vikings have temples? Whatever." She entered the building and looked around at the walls. There were many doors inside the building, each one decorated with a different dragon. The Dragonscope would be hidden behind one of them.
"Hm...alright, lessee. According to the previous episodes the Dragonscope 'rests with a dragon never seen by Blerk'. What dragon was introduced in the second season on a different island?" She looked over each of the doors, quickly eliminated the Nightmare Reaper, Seasnood, Screeching Emerald, Bricklebrawn, Moldrake, and Iggsdralizard doors before going over the rest. "Flameskin...no...Clearwing...no...Purplemander? Nah, that's Fangless, he's definitely from Blerk. So that means..."
She pointed gleefully at the picture of a small, unassuming gray dragon. "Mothmimic, of course! They're too small to fly over the ocean for long periods of time and were introduced in Season Two from another island as an invasive species!" She opened the door, and a swarm of the little gray dragons fluttered out. After they were gone, MacArthur stepped into their nest and found something on the wall, bound to it by silk. "This must be it!" She tore it off the wall, revealing a kaleidoscope-like device decorated with dragon scales. She disappeared into blue light...
"We did it!" MacArthur whooped back in the real world. "I found the cool thing!"
"You certainly did!" Chris said, barely hiding his disdain that it was she who had found it. "Well done, Hairy Hooligans! You found the Dragonscope just in time for Season 3 of your nerd show."
"You seemed to enjoy it during our 'research sessions'," Phil remarked.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Anywho, your prize is boiled pork and boiled turnips!"
"Did Chef boil your brain while he was at it?" Jo asked.
"I considered it," Chef snarked.
"That's enough out of you! Bog Burglars, you failed because of Lindsay's stupid stunt giving MacArthur a chance to hitchhike. Had she not gone out looking for a dragon, you coulda won." Lindsay looked sad at being criticized this way, especially given how some of her teammates were glaring at her. "Meet me at the campfire at eight, Bog Burglars, it's time to vote someone out!"
Confessional – Lindsay.
She sniffled. "Wh-why d-do I mess everything u-up?" she trembled as she wrote TAYLOR on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Taylor.
Taylor cackled deviously as she wrote LINDSAY on a piece of paper. "That went WAY better than I thought it would! Who would've thought MacArthur was nutso enough to grab a dragon's tail mid-flight?"
Confessional – Jacques.
"I must hand it to MacArthur," Jacques grinned as he wrote LINDSAY on a piece of paper. "Her impulsiveness is signing her own alliance's death warrant."
Confessional – Harold.
"Something is like, bothering me about the Nightmare Reaper thing," Harold muttered. "Like, Lindsay's a major follower and stuff, she wouldn't have like, gone after the Reaper unless someone told her to. And I think Taylor's real pro at putting pressure on folks." He wrote TAYLOR on a piece of paper.
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Three frozen-looking marshmallows were colored; the other ten were not. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got because drama, unlike dragons, cannot be trained. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Carrie, Crimson, Ennui, Harold, Jacques, Jo, Josee, Leshawna, Owen, Scarlett, and Sky."
Lindsay counted on her fingers while the others got their marshmallows. "So...only two people got votes," she said. Her eyes widened when it hit her. "Uh-oh. Was my name one of the ones Christina said?" she asked worriedly.
"Nope, it looks like you're up for elimination," Carrie winced. "Sorry, Lindsay."
"QUIT DOING MY JOB!" Chris barked, shutting the two blondes up. "Anywho, blue means you received only one vote against you. Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. Nothing doing." Two colored marshmallows remained. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, and red means you're out. Taylor. Linsday."
Taylor sneered at Lindsay.
"Taylor, you sat back and let the others do the work, as usual. Lindsay, you made a big mistake that cost your team the win, as usual. And with just one vote more..."
...
...
...
...
"Lindsay has been eliminated from the game!" Linsday's face fell and she trudged away sadly.
"Don't let the boat hit you on your way out!" Taylor taunted.
"Taylor, that's enough!" Scarlett said sternly. "While I admit I am not happy about Lindsay's behavior today, your own was hardly helpful either. Perhaps I should have voted for you instead." She sighed. "Perhaps focusing too much on strategy is costing me friends."
"On the bright side, at least she won't have to deal with Chris anymore," Carrie put in.
"Yes, there is that."
Confessional – MacArthur.
"I feel so guilty," MacArthur said, clearly upset. "God, I got Lindsay eliminated. Indirectly, yeah, but still." She sighed. "I can't be doing this lone wolf stuff anymore. It's getting my friends cut out before they've had a fair chance. At least Lindsay actually got her idol elimination undone.
"Sorry to cut you short, MacArthur, but this episode has dragged on enough already!" Chris chortled as he stood in front of the Dock of Shame.
"You're not funny, Mr. McLame!" Lindsay shouted from the retreating boat.
"Wha– HOW DARE YOU!" He finished hastily and grumpily. "Fifty-nine down once again. Twenty-five remain once again. Who'll tame the fury of the night and who'll Triple Stryke out? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
As he turned to face Lindsay to yell at her, he turned too fast, slipped, and fell on his butt. "OW! Look what you made me do, Lindsay! Look what you made me do!" he complained rather pathetically.
Votes:
Carrie – Taylor
Crimson – Lindsay
Ennui – Lindsay
Harold – Taylor
Jacques – Lindsay
Jo – Lindsay
Josee – Lindsay
Leshawna – Taylor
Lindsay – Taylor
Owen – Taylor
Scarlett – Lindsay
Sky – Taylor
Taylor – Lindsay
Results: 7-6 Lindsay-Taylor
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo, Katie, Trent, Kitty (t), Gwen, Dave (ii), Courtney, Tom, Dawn (t), Izzy (r), Jay, Lightning, Stephanie, Cameron (nj), Ryan, B, Mike (q), Duncan, Amy, Topher, Sadie, Laurie, Bridgette, Sanders, Sierra, Shawn (r), Sam, Heather, Miles, Zoey, Geoff (t), Alejandro, Sugar, Eva, Tyler, Lindsay
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Justin (Ella)
Bonus clip:
A Viking boy who looked an awful lot like Cody was taking a stroll along the beach with an unusual salamander-like purple dragon when a piece of paper blew in from the sky and landed in his hands. "What's this?" he asked, reading it. "Ascension of the...Courageous Knotted Wyverns? What? Why am I in this picture? Who are these other people? Why am I kissing the white-haired boy?!"
His dragon took the paper from his owner with his mouth and started eating it. "At least you're getting some use out of this, Fangless," Burp remarked as he watched the offending (in more ways than one) fanart get destroyed by dragon spit.