here it is at last! no more waiting for my wonderful readers! i have to say i think this is the best chapter I've ever written... as all ways thank you Richelle Mead for creating these wonderful characters, and a HUGE thanks to YDA for writing this with me and for just being there, love you!

Adrian "what about me? dont you love me anymore?"

me "_... anyway, enjoy!

Adrian"nooooo! love me!"

Reckless& Relentless

About 15 minutes of leaving the hotel, I was seriously regretting my decision. I should have never left it. Being out here in my state was a bad idea. I wanted it so bad… no I NEEDED it. That delectable liquid to sooth my need… and though I had it less then an hour ago this walking made me need, not want, but NEED it even more. Fuck! I can't believe I forgot my vodka…

I was in the middle of nowhere with the outskirts of the closest city being god knows how far away, with no money to get anywhere or even to get any Vodka, I was a Strigoi, it was pitch black out (A.N good thing, otherwise he'd burn to death). Worst of all… no Vodka. I could live without the other things but I absolutely needed the Vodka. Well… I can't live anymore because of the whole Strigoi thing, so how would I use that expression? But while thinking on that note; I can't NOT be dead with out blood. Now my brain was hurting. Anyway, with my only option to be going to the closest city and satisfy my thirst for the lovely, burning liquor. Hoping to find a bar or liquor store, I started walking towards the bright lights of the far away city.

I was walking at my normal Adrian speed, when a car with the windows down blasting Asking Alexandria's Reckless & Relentless came up behind me. I turned around to see why they were so close to me but it turned out they were about a mile or so down the road. So I continued walking listening to the music;

"Pass me a glass and lets destroy everything in this fucking place like a million miles an hour you pussys can't keep up with this fucking pace,

I am rock and roll, living a life we can only dream of,

I am rock and roll at its fucking finest

Just like the cigarettes hurt,

Just like the whiskey burns,

(Whoa whoa)

I guess I'm never gonna learn

Just like the cigarettes hurt,

Just like the whiskey burns,

(wohoa wohoa)

I guess I'm never gonna learn

I've drunk the last time you stood here, your by my side,

You thought that it should be just like the good old days of rock and roll

Without a drink, without regret without a second thought

You look below on the end of the back of your fucking throat

I am rock and roll living a life we can only dream of

I am rock and roll at its fucking finest"

Another song came on as the car drove by and yet again I smelled blood and booze. Only instead of coming from gangsters the smell was pouring out from the windows in a way that was just teasing me to chase and get the two things I was craving the most. And without even realizing what I was doing the chase was on.

The car was in the 45 zone but was going much faster and yet somehow I caught up to it in a matter of minutes. The driver must not have seen me otherwise she would have sped up and tried to get away. I heard a little voice in my head telling me that I should look at their auras.

As the thought crossed my mind I instinctively reached out with my mind and saw the auras. One from the passenger and one driver. The passenger was obviously drunk while the driver was sober. Her aura was so soft and gentle, it reminded me of Lissa. I kept pace, mesmerized for a moment as I pushed deeper in her mind slightly enough to see images passing through her mind. A child, son, maybe four years old, is clinging to her leg on the first day of school. His eyes wide with fear, being left in this new and strange place as the woman, his mother, calmed him. For a moment I remembered my mother. I slowed to an abrupt stop, watching the car drive off into the night. Lost in my own thought and memories I continued my walk

I wandered around the streets for a while thinking of nothing and everything all at once, when I found myself near a bar. I figured the lights dim enough to hide the red of my eyes. So in I went.

I walked in and around the people dancing went up and sat down at the bar and ordered a drink I so desperately needed. Without looking at the bartender I figured I'd compel him to just put it on my 'tab'. He went off to get it. While he... At least I thought it was a guy... Went to go get my drink I took a moment to look around the bar... There was a female DJ playing some remake of a country song, playing with her hair while waiting to change the song. There was a hooker down at the end of the bar 'flirting' with some drunk guy trying to get him back to her room. Trying to forget my last encounter with a hooker I quickly looked away... Down on the dance floor there were some people my age obviously way to drunk to dance without looking foolish, but were to drunk to care... Looking over at the tables I saw happy couples and groups of friends enjoying themselves...and for the first time since turning... I felt like I was safe... I was happy... Realizing that it had been almost 10 minute since that bartender took my order I turned back around to yell for him when he put my vodka down in front of me "about time" I mumbled as he walked away.

As I took the first gulp of my drink I felt a presence enter, to quiet to be human. I turned my head calmly to see a Strigoi woman and man enter the bar. I don't know how I knew what they were. My eyes were sharp enough to see in the dark, but neither of them were facing me.

'I need to leave' I thought to myself, but before I could even stand the woman turned her head to look at me. Tall, maybe 5'11 or 6' with a slender form, strawberry-blond hair with dark red streaks in it. If it wasnt for the fact that I wasn't even over Rose yet and wasn't new to the Strigoi world I might have tried to at least get her number. The man, who looked to be about 6'2, was well built all muscle it looked like he could kill every one in the bar without breaking a swet. Short black hair, clean shaven with a sturdy jaw is what his face looked liked, I saw as he turned towards me as well.

She turned to the man and whispered something that wasn't even audible to me as they both strode towards me. "You are in our territory." She said with an accent I couldn't quite place.

"I'm sorry." I said, trying to think of a way out of this. "I just turned. Tonight actually. I didn't know I was in anyone's territory." The woman didn't look happy. Actually she looked like she was ready to kill me, eliminate the threat, but the Strigoi man stopped her. He held her gaze for a moment and she backed off. Obviously he was in charge of the two.

He then turned to look at me "You are new to our world. How would you like a home? A place to belong?" he said, his voice held a sense of superiority that comes with power.

"What do you mean?"

"A coven you idiot." The woman said in a harsh, impatient voice. "Would you like to be a part of our coven?"

"Is all of the company as charming as you?" I asked sarcastically.

The man laughed and motioned for the woman to silence. "Think it over. If you would like to be a part of our coven, meet us back here, tomorrow night. If not, you need to leave our turf. Remain and we will kill you." He said. I nodded my head in agreement, turning back for my drink "how can I meet you back here though if I'm not aloud to remain?" I said while putting my face back to my cup.

"You know what I mean smart ass..." I smirked, realizing that I was pissing her off just a tad bit. I gave a moment of thought for a come back, when I had thought of one I quickly turned to face them but when I looked back, they were gone.

"That's one crisis averted" I mumbled to myself, then continued "stupid Strigoi... Ruining my good night..."

"We were no more stupid then what we were as we were humans, Dampier, or moroi" a voice whispered in broken english in front of me. I turned back towards the bar where the Strigoi was. Scared shitless but at the same time my Strigoi side was standing me up getting ready for another fight. "Easy friend..." he said in broken english."You don't want Cay and Marriena coming back here to pick up my mess I'd make with you." I sat back down in my seat and decided to listen to him... Also deciding that his english wasn't broken, just heavily accented with some eastern European language.

"My names Teddy," Teddy said, he looked like he was in his early to mid twenties. Dark blue hair with red streaks worn lose down to his lower back, and a soft face "form from Czech Republic." He continued "I turned about ten years ago in my home country and after wandering around there for eight years I came over here and wandered for about a year before met Marriena and I started working as her bartender" he finished taking my empty drink and refilling it... "On the house for Mr...?"

"Ivashkov, Adrian Ivashkov, and thanks but I'll pay you back when I get money"

"No need... Cuties like you" he eyed me over "drink for free" a few more seconds of him eyeing me over made me realize that he was hitting on me.

"Are you hitting on me?" I asked as politely as I could

"Not really but yeah... Be for you ask I'm bi... So want to come home with me after we close?" I had to break it to him that I was straight he seemed a little upset but was ok after a few minutes. After that we just talked when he didn't have costumers, when he did I just listened to the music and enjoyed my vodka.

After a few more drinks it was closing time. So a mumble goodbye to Teddy and politely declining his offer, for a second time, to sleep with him, I stumbled outside into the night. The air I knew should be cold; I thought to my self but in my new state I think an ice storm wouldn't even given me a chill. Looking around me I saw the night sky lightening into what would soon become morning. I needed a place to sleep for today and the place I was before was no longer safe. Walking faster than any mortal, I came to a neighborhood, quieted in sleep before they rose with the morning sun. I walked along the houses until I found what I was looking for. In the back of one of the bigger houses was a crawl space, almost completely blocked from light. A closer look told me that it had just resonantly been opened.

I opened the door quietly and slipped inside not going to the spaces where light leaked though, although there wasn't much light, I made a mental note to avoid those spots. There was little space in here, and almost no room for me to stand, but it was wide. So I made my way toward the back, carefully avoiding a spot that let light through a small opening. I settled down on the ground to wait out the upcoming day.

Eyes closed, I went into my semi conscious 'sleep' seeing if Lissa was asleep yet... With how calm and happy I'd been the past couple hours I felt lucky...And as it turned out I was! The blackness changed in front of me into Lissa's old dorm at St. Vladimir's and I saw her. She was wearing a designer long sleeved shirt and designer jeans. She smiled when she saw me "Adrian!" she yelled and ran over to me wrapping me into a hug "hello cousin" I said as she hugged me. She stepped back after a while and slapped me across the face, tears starting to stream down her face. "Where the hell have you been?" she screeched at me "you've been gone for five days and we haven't had a word from you! We've been worried sick!"

"I missed you to. But," I paused. My face turning hard, as I continued, "one question... Who's 'we'? Because I'll bet my life and yours that's Rose is NOT on that 'we' list, don't deny it Lissa... Do you even know what happened? Why I left?"

"Yes... after Rose kicked you out, Dimitri left the room because he had no idea that you didn't know, so he when to go find you and tell you he was sorry and that he didn't know but he found me instead and told me... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry Adrian..."and she broke down to the floor and started crying... "I'm sorry she" said between sobs.

"Hey don't cry, shhhhh, lissa it's not your fault. Calm down. Shhhhh, you didn't know"

"Yes I did... But I thought you knew, every one thought rose told you"

"Well she didn't. It's no ones fault but Rose's" she continued to cry "Lissa. Look at me." she lifted her head towards me and started to say something but stopped her self.

"Adrian... What's with your eyes? She asked looking frightened.

"Ummmm nothing..." I said looking away but her gaze followed "What's wrong with your eyes?" I said trying to franticly get her to look away from my eyes "they look all red and puffy" I tried and failed at changing the subject.

"Adrian... Your 're... They're red!" she started to freak out, "Why are your eyes red? Are you a...? No of course not... If you were you wouldn't be... Mrs. Karp said she lost all her spirit powers when she...! But why...Adrian what did you do? Are you... A Strigoi?"

"..." it took a moment for me to answer "... I..."

"Adrian?" she whispered slowly backing away while still looking at my eyes.

"Lissa. Don't, please... I made a mistake... I'm sorry... Before you ask I didn't do it on purpose... I was drunk and thirsty... I hadn't fed in three days! Please. Please, please, please, please... Don't tell ANYONE Lissa... No one must know..." I felt tears streaming down my face... But from the look on lissa face told me it wasn't tears... My hand went to my face to rub what ever it was away... But it smeared. I looked down at my hands, they were smeared with blood.

Lissa never looked away. She got up and walked back over to me..."it's..." she began "It's ok... Adrian... I can" she paused "WE can fix this... Just tell me where you are and..." the dream started to fade.

"Tell no one" I quickly said" I'll contact you later, I'm sorry lissa tell no one ple-"and the dream was gone I awoke with finger nails digging into my neck and felt blood leaking out, but they weren't mine.

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