Chapter 37

Jon Snow Stark POV

Dany and I are home for Spring Break, but I'm doing the DNA test with my dad today. He made the appointment at the clinic, we just both have to go and submit DNA so that they can test it. I want this to be over, but I'm worried about what will happen after the results come in.

"Thank you for doing this," my dad says to me as we're sitting in the waiting room and filling out paperwork. "I really owe you."

"Yeah, you do," I say. "I didn't really have a choice."

"You did," he says. "You can walk out that door right now, and I won't blame you in the slightest."

I take a deep breath. "No," I say. "Let's just get this done."

There's a pause. I can tell my dad doesn't want this to be awkward for me, but there's really no way to avoid that.

"I'm sorry for lying to you, Jon," he finally says. "I should've been honest with your mom from the start."

God, why does he have to make me feel bad for him? No matter what he does, it's impossible for me to hate him.

"I just don't know why she had to hate me my entire life," I say. "I didn't do anything."

"You're right, you didn't," he says. "I talked to her about that so many times over the years."

"So will this fix everything between us?" I ask. "Will it make my mom not hate me all of the sudden?"

"I don't know, Jon," he says. "I can't tell you what she's going to do."

"She hated me my whole life," I say. "She never let me forget how much she hated me. She always said she had 5 kids instead of 6, and Arya or Sansa would always correct her."

"I know, and that was never your fault," he says. "I'm really sorry that things happened the way they did."

"They happened that way because of you," I say. "You could've just been honest."

"I know, but it didn't seem like I could at the time," he says. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

I take a deep breath, but I don't say anything. It seems like he always wants to do the "right" thing, regardless of if it's really the best option for everyone. He really hurt my mom, and he lied to me and her my whole life. At this point, it doesn't matter if he thought he was doing the right thing.

"You know I'm always going to be your dad, right?" He asks me after we sit in silence for a bit. "No matter what."

I pause, I definitely will always see him as my dad. He raised me, and has always shown me more love than anyone else has.

"I know," I say. "I guess I'll never meet my dad?"

He sighs. "I'd really rather you didn't look for him," he says. "He's a dangerous man, and I don't even know where he is now."

"So I'll never know my father?"

"You're an adult, I can't stop you," he says. "I'm just giving you my opinion."

"I'll have to think about that," I say. "Let's get through this first."

We get called in by a nurse, who leads us to a back room. We hand over the paperwork, and she takes swabs of DNA out of my dad and I's mouths. I'm trying not to think too much, I just never thought we'd be here.

We drove separately, so we walk outside to head to our cars after we're done.

"Will I see you at home?" My dad asks me when we get outside.

"I think I'm going to spend the night at Dany's," I say. "I'll just have to call her and make sure that's okay."

"You guys live together," he says. "Don't you want to see your siblings?"

"Robb isn't home," I say. "So I think it would just be awkward."

"If that's really what you want," he says. "You know you can come home if you want to, right?"

"I know, dad," I say. "Bye."

"Bye, son."

I walk to my car and give Dany a call. She answers after the first ring. "Hello?" She says.

"Hey," I say. "Can I stay at your place tonight?"

"Of course," she says. "How did it go at the clinic?"

"It went okay," I say. "My dad wanted me to come home tonight, but I said no."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say. "I just needed some space. I'll tell you more when I get there."

"Okay, I get that," she says. "I'll see you soon, I love you."

"I love you too," I say. "Bye."

I hang up and start to head to her place, I really do just need some space to process everything. I knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it easier for me. I've just been dealing with this my whole life, and now I have to process something completely different from what I originally thought.

I'm glad my dad will always see me as his son, he's the one I'll probably always consider as my dad. I'm not sure I'll ever seek my biological father out, but I don't want to completely discount it. I know my dad said he's dangerous, but part of me wants to know who he is. I'll just have to keep thinking about it, maybe I'll ask Dany what she thinks.

Jaime Lannister POV

I'm confronting Cersei today when I get home from Brienne's place. I'm scared, I don't know how she'll react or what she'll do to try to talk me out of telling Dany the truth. I know it's the right thing to do, but I have a feeling telling Cersei will be worse than telling Dany.

"You can do this," Brienne says as she pulls up to my place. "Call me later."

"Okay," I say. I lean in and kiss her. "Bye."

I take a deep breath and walk inside. Cersei is in her room, so I walk upstairs and knock on her door.

"What is it?" She asks.

"It's Jaime," I say. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," she says. I walk into her room and stand in the doorway. "What is it?"

"Can I sit down?"

"Sure…" she says, sounding suspicious. I think she can tell something is up. "Are you okay?" I close the door and sit on her bed.

"Yeah," I say. "I just need to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"I'm going to tell Dany about what happened to Bran senior year," I blurt out. "I think she needs to know."

Cersei pauses, I can tell she's trying to remember what I'm referring to. When she realizes, her eyes get wide.

"What?" She asks. "Why would you do that?"

"She's dating Jon now," I say. "They're probably going to get married, meaning she's bound to find out at some point."

"But that was years ago," she says. "Why does it matter now?"

"Because I'm worried about what will happen if Bran brings it up one day," I say. "Won't that make her more upset if she hears it from him?"

"How do you know he'll say something?" She asks.

"How do you know he won't?"

She pauses, I can tell she's thinking. "I don't want you to tell her what we were doing," she says. "I've never even explicitly told her."

"Well how else does it even make sense?" I ask. "That's kind of a significant detail to leave out."

"You know she'll hate you when she finds out," Cersei says. "She'll probably hate me too, she thinks she's better than everyone."

"Well she'll definitely hate us if she finds out later down the line," I say. "I think we both know that."

"What made you want to do this now?"

"Brienne has made me want to be a better person," I say. "I don't like who I am when I'm hiding things from people." I want to say that I didn't like who I was when I was with her, but I can't say that.

"So you told Brienne?" Cersei asks, now she's upset.

"She already knew about us," I say. "I couldn't avoid telling her that."

"I disagree," she says. "Now it'll be awkward when I'm forced to be around her."

"Was it not already?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter," she says. "You already told her, and now she's forcing you to tell Dany."

"She's not forcing me to do anything," I say. "She said Dany should know, and I agree."

"What happens when Jon finds out and tries to kill you?"

"That's a consequence I'll have to face," I say. "I can't take back my actions."

"But you're willing to make me suffer?"

"You should have told Dany in the first place," I say. "At least when her and Jon started dating."

"She didn't need to know that," she says. "It's not her business."

"Well like I said, if she found out on her own it would've been worse," I say. "I'm surprised she hasn't found out by now."

There's a pause as she just looks at me. "There's nothing I can do to talk you out of this, is there?"

"No," I say. "I'm going to tell her."

"Can you at least let me do it?" She asks me. "I want her to hear it from me."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. "She's going to want to talk to me about it anyway after you tell her."

I'm hesitant to agree, because I'm worried that Cersei will twist the narrative or not tell the whole truth. I'm still thinking that's probably what will happen, but I feel like I should at least give her a chance to tell Dany herself. Plus she's right, Dany will want to talk to her about it if I tell her.

"Okay," I say. "But you need to at least tell her basically what we were doing."

"Fine, whatever," she says. "I know she already knows anyway."

"Thank you," I say. "I'm sorry it had to be like this."

"She's going to hate me," Cersei says after taking a deep breath. "It's your fault if she does, you're the one who did this."

"Well you were involved too," I say. "I appreciate you talking to her."

"Whatever," she says. "You didn't give me a much better option, I wouldn't have of my own accord."

"I still appreciate it," I say. "When are you going to talk to her?"

"I'll call her today and tell her I want to meet with her," she says. "But I really don't want to do this."

"Still, thank you," I say. "You're right, she will want to talk to you about it anyway if I tell her."

"I just can't believe Brienne made you this way," she says. "This is not the person I was with for so long."

"She made me want to be better," I say. "I don't deserve her."

"You really don't."

We just look at each other, and I eventually just walk out of her room and close the door. I'm glad she agreed to talk to Dany first, but I'm still not convinced that she won't try and twist the story somehow. I'm sure Dany will want to talk to me after she talks to Cersei, so I can clear things up if Cersei lies.

She's right, I don't deserve Brienne. She's made me want to be a better person. I'm honestly surprised she's still with me, but I don't want to lose her. She's so understanding and she's given me so much more compassion than I deserve.

Sansa Stark POV

I'm hanging out with Myrcella today now that it's officially Spring Break. I have a couple of cheer practices over the break, but I'm glad I have so much free time. Maybe I'll get some more time with Arya, and I can make it up to her for missing her fencing competition.

I get to Myrcella's place and knock on the door. She opens it and I walk in. "Hey," I say. "Are the guys here?"

"No," she says. "They're both working."

"Are Gendry and Pod on Spring Break too?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. "But they wanted to work a little more to make more money since I don't work."

"Do you think you want to get a job?"

"Definitely," she says. We sit on the couch. "I always feel like a freeloader because they work and I don't."

"You're not a freeloader," I say. "I'm sure they don't see it that way."

"I don't even have my driver's license," she says. "Just a permit."

"You'll get there," I say. "I don't mind driving you."

"I can also take the bus after you graduate," she says. "But I'll try to get my license over the summer. That's also when I want to get a job."

"Maybe we can get a summer job together," I say. "I don't have to leave for school until August."

"That would be awesome," she says. "You want to get a job, too?"

"Yeah," I say. "I want to have some extra cash for when I go off to school."

"I'm really going to miss you," she says. "I can't believe you're leaving me here."

"You can come see me," I say. "And I'll be home a lot, I promise we'll hang out."

"We better," she says. "I just don't know what I'm going to do without you."

"Arya said the same thing," I say. "She got mad at me for missing her fencing competition."

"I'm sorry," Myrcella says. "I know you were concerned about that."

"We made up, but I still think she overreacted," I say. "It's not like I could miss cheer practice."

"I get that," she says. "I'm glad you guys made up."

There's a pause. "How are things with Podrick?" I ask.

"It's going okay," she says. "We did have a rough patch recently."

"Really?" I ask. I always saw them as having a perfectly stable relationship. "What about?"

"We'd just both been under a lot of stress with school and work," she says. "He was already stressed, and on top of that my period was late last month."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure," she says. "I took a test, and it was negative. There was no point in worrying you."

"You guys got into a fight about that?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. "He was relieved when the test was negative."

"And you weren't?"

"I mean, I'm definitely not ready for a baby," she says. "But he would've wanted to terminate, that's what he said."

"What?" I say. "Why would he say that?"

"I think it was just his gut reaction in a stressful moment," she says. "I told him that if I had been pregnant, I would want to keep it and it hurt me that he said that."

"Did he apologize?"

"Yeah," she says. "And he said he would be supportive if that ever did happen."

"So do you think the rough patch is over?" I ask.

"I think so," she says. "Things have been going better since then."

"I'm glad to hear that," I say. "You know you could have told me if you wanted to."

"I know," she says. "It was just hard, and by the time it was resolved I just wanted to stop harping on it."

"Just let me know if you ever need help or want to talk," I say. "We're best friends, I'm always here for you."

"I love you."

"I love you too," I say.

"So how's your family?" She asks. "Is Bran still with his little girlfriend?"

"Yeah," I say, chuckling. "They're cute, but Arya and I are worried that he's pressuring her."

"Why would he do that?"

"She told Arya that sometimes all he wants to do is make out," I say. "I said if he pressures her we would beat him up."

"Good," she says. "Don't let him act like that."

"Oh trust me," I say. "I won't."

There's a pause. "Do you want to go shopping or something?" She asks me. "I really don't get to leave the house as much as I'd like to."

"Sure," I say. "Let's do that and get some boba."

We head out and go shopping. I'm glad Myrcella feels like she can open up to me, but I wish she had talked to me when things were rough with Podrick. I can't believe he'd say something like that, but I hope it was just in the heat of an already stressful situation. He really does seem like a great guy, and I know they're generally happy.

This is why I don't want to date right now, I really don't want to deal with all this. I don't want to risk getting pregnant when I'm not ready, or not having a supportive partner. I know deep down that Podrick is supportive, but I can't deal with all that from a guy right now.