Tears of a Wolf
Chapter 6 You can't bring her back
Marinette gazed at Cat Noir asleep at the foot of her bed, curled up in the same way that a real cat would be. She gently pet him on his head, listening to the subtle sounds of his purring. Yep, he was definitely off in dream land.
Looking over at her clock, Marinette groaned to see how late it was… 3:37 a.m. That's how long it took before Cat could finally fall asleep, but she couldn't really blame him. If she had found out that her father was Paris's villain number one, she would have trouble falling asleep too. Although to be fair, she now had a lot to think about as well.
Firstly, she didn't know how she was going to handle this as Ladybug. As soon as Hawk Moth was apprehended it would inadvertently reveal who Cat was. She wasn't sure she was ready for that.
Secondly, she still had to deal with Wolf, who had arguably become an even greater threat than Hawk Moth was as strange as it was to think that. Not to mention that somehow Wolf knew who she was, at least according to Cat.
Last but not least, there was Cat himself. What on earth happened just a few hours ago? Why did she kiss him? She couldn't help but feel a horrible guilt in her chest. How could she have replaced Adrien with Cat? Maybe feeling guilty about it was silly. It's not like her and Adrien were dating, not even close, but still, Marinette couldn't help but feel like she had betrayed Adrien somehow.
Did she regret the kiss she shared with Cat? Well… that was more complicated than a simple yes or no could give. She felt guilty for sure, but regret… is it even possible to both regret it and not regret it at the same time? She had shared a tender, passionate, and dare she say… pleasurable moment with someone she trusted and loved. Maybe she loved him in more than one way if she was being honest with herself. Ugh! Where did these sudden feelings for Cat Noir come from anyway? She couldn't just toss aside her feelings for Adrien, and besides, wasn't Cat in love with Ladybug anyway?
Right… Ladybug. Could she really be mad at Cat for pursuing Marinette tonight despite his feelings for Ladybug? How many times had Ladybug rejected his affections? Dozens? Hundreds? Would it be right of her to feel jealous if he had finally decided to move on? Moreover, how could she be jealous of herself anyway? Okay… this was way too complicated. It was time for some Ladybug work.
Marinette climbed back out onto her balcony and prepared herself for transformation. Actually, it was more like preparing herself for whatever it was that Tikki had to say.
"Marinette, where are we going? We can't just leave Cat Noir here can we?"
"He'll be fine Tikki. He's exhausted and there's no way he'll be up for a while. We need to find Wolf. We'll be back before the sun comes up."
"Wolf? Why are we looking for him?"
"He knows who I am. Cat Noir said it himself. We need to find him and stop him before he gets to the people I love."
"Wait Marinette! You can't take on Wolf by yourself! Take Cat Noir with you!"
"Oh, right… I need to bring you up to speed. Kitty found out his father is Hawk Moth."
"What?!" Tikki's eyes bulged out of her skull. "Marinette! You should START a conversation with that!"
"Sorry Tikki… a lot's happened tonight."
"Well I was wondering what Cat Noir was doing in your room, but I guess that answers that question. How did he find out?"
"Apparently Wolf somehow proved it to him. I don't really know all the details. There was only so much Cat Noir was willing to tell a civilian, but all that matters now is finding him and stopping him!"
"Marinette, you still can't take him on by yourself! Besides, why would Wolf tell Cat Noir that his father was Hawk Moth?"
"I'm not sure. My guess is that he probably wants to get inside Cat's head and throw him off his game."
"By telling him the truth?"
"I don't know Tikki! Does it even matter? Come on! We need to go!"
"Wait! Marinette, wait!" Tikki tried her best to calm down her owner before she blindly jumped head first into a battle. "Let's just think about this for one minute okay? We know that Wolf knows who Hawk Moth is assuming that what Cat Noir said is true. We also know that he knows who Cat Noir is and even who you are."
"Yeah so?"
"Marinette, do you really think that Wolf was just trying to throw off Cat Noir? If he knows who everyone is then he doesn't need anymore leverage. He must have some other sort of agenda. Otherwise he could have torn everything apart by now."
"What are you suggesting? You think that Wolf really revealed who Hawk Moth was because he wanted to actually help Chat?"
"I don't know Marinette, but revealing who Hawk Moth is doesn't help him find Amy, and so far that's all we know for sure that Wolf wants."
Marinette's thoughts brought her back to her previous conversation with Cat.
"Wait… Cat did say that he was having second thoughts on whether or not Wolf had really turned evil. Could it be that…"
Tikki gave her owner a moment to think before she chimed back in. "Maybe there's still some good in Wolf after all?"
Marinette scowled as her thoughts raced. There was no way of knowing for sure, but she was going to find out. "Tikki, spots on!"
Marinette Dupain Cheng, as Ladybug
Ladybug jumped from rooftop to rooftop looking for some sort of clue as to the whereabouts of Wolf, but honestly she had no idea where to look. She figured it would be best to start at the Eiffel Tower and survey the city from there. If that didn't work, she supposed maybe her lucky charm could always help her, right?
As it turned out, Ladybug's plan to start at the Eiffel Tower turned out to be the perfect one, for as she grew closer to the landmark, she could swear she heard someone. It sounded like… singing? Why would there be someone singing on the Eiffel Tower? Some sort of romantic involvement with a couple in Paris?
As Ladybug grew closer, she saw that it was actually Wolf singing! He sat at the edge of the tower with his feet dangling off the edge. She had spent a few nights in the very same spot herself in her post patrols with Cat. She decided a plan of stealth would be best. She would stay in the shadows and listen for what he was saying… err um… singing. It was strange, she didn't depict him as a guy who would sing, but he was actually pretty good at it. The song was a soft and somewhat eerie melodious lullaby, but what made it interesting was the way Wolf sang it. It was as though he was singing to someone else rather than just to himself.
Fate has been cruel and order unkind,
How could you have left me alone?
The pain in my heart, tearing me apart,
A loneliness I've never known
But into the stillness I'll bring you a song,
And I will your company keep,
Till your tired eyes, and my lullabies,
Have carried you softly to sleep
Once did a hero who shoned like the sun,
Look out on her kingdom and sigh
She smiled and said,
"Surely there is no other so lovely and so well beloved as I."
So great was her reign, so brilliant her glory,
That long was the shadow she cast,
Which fell dark upon her young partner she loved,
And grew only darker as days and nights passed
Goodnight my princess, goodnight my love, Rest now in moonlight's embrace
Bare up my lullaby, winds of the earth,
Through cloud and through sky and through space,
Carry the the peace and the coolness of night, and carry my sorrow in kind,
Sylvia, you're loved so much more than you know,
Forgive me for being so blind…
Soon did that hero take notice that others, did not give her partner her due,
And neither had she loved her as she deserved,
She watched as her partner's unhappiness grew
But such is the way of the limelight, it sweetly takes hold of the mind of its host,
And that foolish hero did nothing to stop,
The destruction of one who had needed her most
Goodnight my princess, goodnight my love, Rest now in moonlight's embrace
Bare up my lullaby, winds of the earth,
Through cloud and through sky and through space,
Carry the the peace and the coolness of night, and carry my sorrow in kind,
Sylvia, you're loved so much more than you know, may troubles be far from your mind,
And forgive me for being so blind…
The days now before me,
Fearful and unknown,
I never imagined,
I'd face them on my own
May this mournful lifetime,
Swiftly pass away,
I love you, I miss you,
Every single day…
May all your dreams be… sweet tonight,
Safe upon your bed of… moonlight,
And know not of sadness, pain, or care,
And when I die, I'll fly away, and meet you there…
Ladybug couldn't believe her ears. He still loved her that much? After all this time?
"Well… I hope you enjoyed my little… performance." Wolf spoke, apparently knowing that Ladybug was there all along.
Ladybug took a step back in surprise. "How… how did you…?"
"You can't hide from me in the shadows. I control them, remember?" Wolf dispersed the shadows around her, proving his point. It was a strange thing to witness, as if someone had shined a dim spotlight down onto her. That was about the best way to describe it as she watched the darkness flee from her.
"So… what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" Wolf asked sarcastically.
"I'm here about Chat Noir." Ladybug got right to the point. I want to know what happened to him tonight. All of it!"
A smile creeped on Wolf's face as he finally turned his head to face her. "So he didn't tell Marinette everything, did he? I suppose that's not surprising. After all, Ladybug would never forgive him if he risked his secret identity in front of a civilian right?"
There was a mocking tone in his voice.
"Stop it! This isn't about me, or you! This is about Cat Noir! If his father really is Hawk Moth, then why would you tell him that? What do you get out of it?"
Wolf's expression dropped and was replaced with one of blankness. "You know something, Ladybug? I've been wondering the same thing myself…"
"Wait… you mean you don't know?"
"I keep searching for an answer. I've been sitting here for hours thinking about it, but I don't stand to gain much of anything from telling him. It shouldn't have concerned me at all, but for some reason it did."
"Are you trying to tell me that you did it out of the kindness of your heart? You may be able to sell Chat that story, but not me!"
Wolf tilted his head back towards the sky, gazing at the full moon. "It doesn't really matter if you believe me or not…"
"I know you're lying!" Ladybug shouted. "Chat said that Hawk Moth has been taken out of commission for a while. Doing that doesn't help you find Amy and faster Wolf! If anything, it just makes your job harder. You could have benefited from the akuma, you could have even teamed up with Hawk Moth to get what you wanted, but you didn't! I'm not leaving here until I find out why!"
"I made a promise…" Wolf spoke softly.
Ladybug's face dropped this time, the anger she previously held now leaving her. "A promise?"
"To Sylvia. I promised her that if anything ever happened to her, I would protect this city in her place, alongside Amy… alongside Scarlet Beetle."
Finally some of the missing pieces began to line up in Ladybug's mind. "So that's why you wanted Amy to come back here. You want things to go back to the way they were, and fulfill the last promise you ever made to Sylvia…"
Wolf still gazed up at the moon. He didn't respond to Ladybug's confirmation. He didn't have to. He didn't really care whether or not Ladybug knew. It didn't get in the way of his plans either way.
"But that still doesn't make any sense." Ladybug continued. "If all you really wanted was to protect this city, then there's no way you would have caused as much chaos as you already have. You threatened everyone Wolf! And for what? To fulfill a promise? Do you really think Sylvia would want that?"
Wolf twisted his body around to face Ladybug in an almost violent reaction. His voice turned to rage. "Of course not! I tried to play nice Ladybug, I did! I searched for two years all over Europe to try and find Amy, and do you know what I found? Nothing! I found nothing! Not a single trace of her, not even a whisper! I didn't even find a body or even an obituary! I'm not the only one who owes Sylvia a debt, Amy does too! She can't just run away like she did and expect to…"
Wolf's voice went from rage to sadness. He tilted his head down, breaking eye contact with Ladybug.
Ladybug knew the truth of course. She knew that despite Wolf's best efforts, Amy would never be coming back, but she couldn't afford to say that to such a loose cannon. Master Fu was right. Telling him the truth was no longer an option.
"Amy's abandonment of you doesn't justify the means Wolf. This is no way to fulfill your promise."
Wolf's voice softened. His rage leaving him, and in its place, sorrow. "You don't understand Ladybug."
"Then help me to. If we can end this peacefully, without any violence, then I'm all for it." She tried to be sympathetic.
"My promise to Sylvia… it's all I have. I made the mistake of giving her everything I had in my life. I gave her all my time, all my joy, all my happiness, all my love. I would have given her anything, because as long as I had her, it was all worth it. I never knew that if she died, I would never receive anything I gave her back."
Wolf's voice began to break, choking back his tears as he tried to continue…
"She took everything Ladybug… she took everything I was… happiness, closeness, tenderness, love. She took all the colors away, all the music, all the sunshine, all the joy… It's all with her in her grave. I wake up everyday, open my eyes, and then ask myself why I bothered! Do you know what that's like? All I have left is a promise! If I can't fulfill my promise…"
Wolf couldn't take it anymore. He finally began to cry. Ladybug couldn't do anything but watch on. Her heart ached for him, she even had some water building up in her eyes herself.
"If I can't fulfill my promise, then I'll never be able to face Sylvia when my time finally comes. She was my everything! I can't face her knowing I failed her…"
More and more pieces fitted together in Ladybug's mind. Wolf wasn't stupid, he knew that Sylvia would never advocate his recent actions, but now she realized where Wolf was coming from. He didn't really want to threaten Paris. He didn't even want to fulfill his promise, not really anyway. He was obsessed with that obviously, that much was clear, but that was because it was the only thing he had left. It was his last thing to hold onto to prevent himself from insanity… well, further insanity. Wolf definitely wasn't right in the head considering what he just confessed, but the only thing Wolf really wanted was Sylvia back in his life.
"Wolf… you can't bring her back." Ladybug spoke softly and calmly.
Wolf could barely respond. His face was soaked with tears. His response was just barely audible, but Ladybug was able to make it out. "No, but maybe I can see her again soon…"
Just like that, Wolf's response made everything click in her mind. She knew why he told Cat the truth and took down Hawk Moth. She knew why despite Wolf's overwhelming abilities, that he hadn't just simply taken away her Miraculous. He knew who she really was, so he could have easily done it, but he didn't and she knew why. He wanted to be defeated. He wanted to be stopped. He wanted to try absolutely everything in his power to fulfill his promise only to fail. He wanted… to die.
Ladybug cautiously approached Wolf holding out her hand in a friendly and loving gesture. "Wolf, no… Alex. You have faced an unimaginable sadness and you have bared it all on your own, but you don't have to be alone anymore. Let me help you. You don't deserve to suffer all this pain. I can get you the help you need and we can rehabilitate you. All I need is a chance."
Wolf didn't even look at her. There was no response of any kind. He simply continued to look down as the teardrops dripped off his chin.
Ladybug knelt down, her hand still extended. "Please Alex! You still have a chance to make the right choice and do the right thing! I want to help you, really I do, but you have to make the choice to accept it. I want to see you get better. I want to see you be happy again, and I'm sure Sylvia does too. Please… take my hand."
The cold wind blew across the sky, whistling in the space around them as Wolf pondered her offer. A moment or two passed before Wolf finally gave his response.
"I'm sorry Ladybug…" Wolf vanished into the surrounding darkness, his body dissipating like smoke.
Author's note: The song in this chapter is very heavily influenced by the song "Lullaby for a Princess" by ponyphonic. Even most of the lyrics are the same. I have never been a fan of the my little pony franchise personally, but this song is absolutely beautiful and I really wanted to use it for Wolf's lullaby to Sylvia. Anyway let me know what you guys think of this chapter. There will probably only be a few chapters left before the end so look forward to it. Much love guys!