Xena: "I felt that way once. I felt there was nothing left to live for. I was tired of hurting and I just wanted it to end."
Gabrielle: "What changed it for you?"
Xena: "You did."
The two women seemed to now only be a faint resemblance of the people they were when they met. Arielle looked nothing like the traveling pilgrim that Eden had saved. She sat on her brilliant chestnut horse with a poise that showed that horse riding was nothing new to her. Her ladies' dresses were gone. She had thick, dark leather boots that were folded down at the top and dark brown pants. She wore a white shirt over which she had a forest green, long sleeve gambeson with a stiff collar which was covered with a chainmail shirt. On that she had brown, leather armor that covered her torso, shoulders, and thighs and was almost the same color as her horse. Her arms were protected by leather vambraces and darker, leather gloves. Her dark brown leather belt had a short sword hanging from her left hip, a small dagger on her front right hip, and a satchel in the back. While on horseback, she slung her quiver across her back and her unstrung bow was fitted into a long, thin scabbard that the leatherworker had made for her and was attached to the front of the saddle.
Eden's new armor made Zauba'a look like the demonic phantom she was. Arielle had argued, begged, pleaded, explained, and grown almost hysterical until she finally convinced Eden to at least not keep everything black. Eden had thick black boots almost to her knee and black pants. She had a sandy tunic over which she wore a long sleeve gambeson in a deep, blood red color with black hems with a moderately high collar and leather ties down the front. It had five wide, but deep fringes at the bottom that reached halfway down her thighs, somewhat covering her cuisses. On that she had a sleeveless chainmail shirt upon which she wore a breastplate and backplate with pauldrons that reflected brilliantly in the sun and vambraces on her forearms that were slightly covered by black, leather gloves. On a black leather, double wrap sword belt, her brilliant sword hung on her left and dagger on the right. She also carried a rectangular satchel on her belt in the back.
Their horses were laden with the women's equipment, apparel, and the few belongings they carried with them. They both trotted down the main road to Jerusalem with purpose though their reasons differed. Eden's thoughts drifted off to the morning for a few moments. She had been busy organizing Arion's saddlebags and adjusting everything to bring him the least amount of strain. In the hovel, Arielle had changed into her new clothes and gear and suddenly bounded outside.
"Observe traveler!" she shouted happily, outstretching her arms and with a large grin on her face.
Eden turned to look at her and felt her breath catch ever so slightly. Eden saw the almost dangerously naive look on the blond's face; this was all an adventure for the blond, a great harrowing tale from some story about princes and dragons. It annoyed her somewhat, that kind of attitude would get them into serious trouble sooner or later and taking into account the blond's luck, Eden thought it would probably be sooner. But there was something else. She didn't want to admit it and she tried to make sure her face didn't give it away- Arielle was a sight. Eden felt something she hadn't felt in a long time- she was amazed. And it wasn't the kind of look-at-this-field-littered-with-men-I-just-killed-and-to-think-they-were-alive-a-minute-ago amazed but the opposite, the the-strange-beauty-of-this-person-leaves-me-perplexed kind of amazed. The greens and browns Arielle had chosen matched her emerald eyes perfectly and gave a solid, dark contrast to her blond hair. Eden mused for a fleeting second that if she hadn't known better, she would have thought that she had just fallen in love. She scoffed at the thought, sending it scampering away. But even if for just the briefest of moments, the thought had appeared.
"So, what exactly do you do? Like a profession, I mean. If you have one, that is." Arielle babbled out, not long after they left Antioch completely behind them and pulling Eden out of her thoughts.
"A profession?" Eden repeated.
"Yes. Did your father train to do anything? Or..."
"My father." Eden growled out and then swallowed, "My father was a brewer and later tried his hand at being a merchant. He wanted me to learn more about trade. He even went with me to Venetia to see first hand how merchant trade worked. I spent more time staring at ships in the docks than anything else." Eden explained, ending with a shrug.
"Huh. My father is a merchant too, and shipwright. He always thought I wasn't bright enough to learn his trade. He would always say that it's not something for respectable women. He had lessons in music and needlework given to me though I was never quite good at it. Well, except maybe the flute, I always liked that instrument. I naturally grew restless and finally convinced my father to let me learn bookbinding and illuminations. I love books and stories and it wasn't too unladylike a craft and far enough away from being a bard, an idea my father despised. In the end, I always loved telling stories more than binding them."
"A warrior and a bard..." Eden mused half to herself, "Who would have thought?"
"It doesn't sound that bad though, does it? Like a great beginning to an even greater story." Arielle added, "Sounds better than my family. Cecil, the great merchant and shipwright with his wife of fair hair and gentle air and his two daughters- the lovely and quiet Thea married to a knight in shining armor and Arielle the bard... the fool of the family."
Eden cast a glance to the side and saw the blond's shoulders slump and her expression turn sad. She realized that Arielle's family evidently meant a lot to her and couldn't think of why they would be so obstinate towards her. Eden knew better than anyone that there was no forcing anyone into a mold, it only made everyone miserable sooner or later. And she had seen quite a few 'unladylike' ladies in her time and Arielle definitely wasn't one of them.
"Fool, huh?" Eden asked, raising an eyebrow, "Well, I happen to like a good tale. Maybe you'll tell one?"
"Really?" Arielle asked, her spirits lifting at the request, "You would really want me to tell a story?"
"Well, you're a story teller, aren't you?" Eden replied and Arielle showed off a grin.
The bard thought for a few moments and ended up telling the Jewish tale of the river Sambation. Eden listened to the story and watched as the blond grew more and more impassioned with it, moving her arms around, making faces, and changing her voice throughout. When the story ended, Arielle looked at Eden, nervously waiting for some kind of response and Eden wondered for a bit why she had liked the tale as much as she did.
"Your family." Eden drawled slowly, looking ahead of her, "I don't think I like them."
Arielle hung her head to hide a grin that almost threatened to split her face and a blush that colored her cheeks.
A few hours later, Eden noticed a darker spot near the road and as they neared, the spots turned into bodies and once they came up close, they saw the bodies were those of pilgrims. They had most likely been attacked by bandits and they had been the unlucky ones. Or, Eden mused, perhaps they were the lucky ones after all.
"Eden, children..." Arielle, who was right beside her, whispered in a quiet agony.
Eden saw that underneath the overturned cart, two pairs of young legs were jutting out. Eden's jaw clenched and her face turned stony as she stared at the sight as if she couldn't comprehend what she was seeing. And to a certain extent, she couldn't. They were just children and Eden swore silently that if she ever found the people who did this, she would tear them limb from limb.
"If you see anything on the road, tell me." Eden ordered Arielle and quickly dismounted.
She walked up to the bodies strewn beside the road. Women and children. Arrows and sword wounds. Damn all this. Arielle watched Eden as she silently picked up a shovel that had fallen out of the wagon and began to dig shallow graves for the victims. She worked silently, severe gravity etched on her face. The blond watched her drag the women into the graves and then the children. Eden laid the second child in the grave and Arielle felt a prick in her heart when she saw her pick up a rag doll from off of the ground and place it on the little girl, wrapping her lifeless arm protectively around it. She covered the bodies with dirt and stones and took some larger rocks which she arranged on top in the form of a cross. She then slowly stood up and for a moment looked out towards the horizon, silent and motionless, as if waiting for someone or something to appear.
"In nomine Patris et fillii et Spiritus Sancti, amen. Requiescat in pace." Eden finally whispered over the grave, making the sign of the cross in the air.
Eden turned back and mounted Arion and Arielle could see a deep trouble manifested in Eden's tense muscles and pulsing jaw with a renounced sadness in the corners of her eyes. Eden nudged Arion forward before the blond could say anything and Arielle silently took one last look at the grave and fell into place slightly behind the disturbed black and red rider.
"It was... it was a beautiful thing you did for those poor people." Arielle finally said after about an hour, trotting up alongside Eden.
"It just had to be done." Eden shrugged.
"A shame only that there was no priest to be found."
"Priest? What did they need a priest for?"
"For the last passage. To pray for their souls and entrance into Heaven." Arielle explained.
"I basically did just that."
"Yes, well, a priest is ordained. He knows how to do such a thing properly."
"Do you honestly think that those poor souls won't find their way to Heaven because a priest didn't stand over them?" Eden asked, somewhat irritated, "Blessings and prayers come from the soul, princess, not the cloth. And God is found in the heart, not a cross hanging about one's neck."
Arielle thought about it a little, feeling slightly offended. For Arielle, it was difficult to reconcile how someone could believe in God, but so reserved towards the Church. Her family was quite religious though she couldn't say that there were none more pious than they were. She had churches, masses, and priests made an integral part of her life ever since she could remember. Anyone who ever ventured to say anything to the opposite was immediately and harshly shunned by her mother and father and would quickly disappear from their lives, mentioned only cruelly in passing during a dinner or outing. Her parents had driven into the very core of her mind that she would never achieve salvation if she shied away from the Church. And, according to her parents, she was the child that needed salvation most of all. There was something different about her; to them something disquieting. But in an afterthought, Arielle realized that there was also something different in her dark-haired companion. She thought it ironic that one similarity between them was the difference everyone saw in them.
"Do you harbor ill will towards the Church?" the blond finally asked quietly.
"I have the same warm feelings towards the Church as it does towards me." Eden answered after a moment, "I've seen more godliness in men you would call infidels or heathens than I have seen in some men of the cloth. I have seen things done in the name of the Lord that would make all the angels fall from the heavens. I will serve and kneel before God only."
"But how can you serve God if you have no reference, no guide? A priest spreads the word of God so that we may be able to at least try to understand and find salvation." the blond asked, growing strangely frustrated with this different perspective.
"We save our souls ourselves, through our deeds, not through listening to others speak. And judgment should be left to the Creator only."
"But who are you to know more than the sons of the Church?" Arielle asked in a tone loud enough that it made Eden turn to look at her, "Who are you, Eden, to know the will of God so well?"
Eden stopped and gazed at Arielle with a hard, stark expression. She felt an anger bubbling up within her, but she used her will to keep it suppressed. She regretted speaking her mind to someone who didn't seem to want to really hear it. And who are you to think you know who I am? She said nothing. Arielle couldn't break through the unreadable expression, but something deep within her sensed that there was something more that was hidden deep beneath the surface. Who are you?
Eden finally broke the gaze and nudged Arion forward again and Arielle followed; both remained silent. Arielle was annoyed with herself. Eden's ideas were new and inviting; she saw a general sense in them. Yet the moment she tried to plant it somewhere in her mind, echoes of her parents would appear and howl at her. The blond cringed. What was it that she kept doing wrong? She continually tried to see the good in everything, even in those things that saw no good in her, thinking that maybe one day, the good would be reflected back to her. She simply wanted to be accepted and needed, to be seen and appreciated, to be loved. She remembered the nights when she would cry herself quietly to sleep, thinking of how there was always someone who would find something wrong with her no matter how hard she tried and would never shy away from telling her about it bluntly. Especially those who were supposed to love her the most. The blond sighed, recalling the particularly dark and lonely nights when she would dream of a knight that would gallop up to her manor and whisk her away, offering adventure and his heart. And she would imagine her parents shock and protest and the knight raising his lance and challenging them all to a duel because it would be an honor to die for Arielle. And the knight would love her for who she was and not who she should be. It was one of the few things, Arielle noticed, that she carried with her through the years.
Arion snorted loudly as they both noticed a cloud of dust ahead of them, a little off the road.
"Careful." Eden warned Arielle coolly.
They trotted up closer to see a set of travelers fighting off an attack. A group of about 20 exhausted and nearly weaponless pilgrims were desperately trying to fend off around 10 sword wielding attackers all on horseback. They watched as one of the men on horseback cut down a screaming woman trying to run away in no particular direction. They hardly had any weapons or possessions; they were just a group of traveling families all dressed in the one set of tattered clothes that they owned.
"They're just peasants. Damned Turks." Eden said in disgust of this raid unleashed on people who didn't even have anything and then turned to Arielle, "Stay here."
She spurred Arion forward and barreled toward the fight, unsheathing her sword and riding straight into the middle of the skirmish with it gleaming magnificently in the sun. Arielle stayed behind as she was told for a short time and watched Eden battle fiercely and bravely as if she had no idea that she was completely outnumbered. But Arielle had enough of being the helpless one. There was an urge, a great need to break free for some invisible shackles that she felt were holding her down. She wanted to do, she wanted to help, she wanted to be needed. She trotted up closer until she was in bow range and dismounted. She strung her bow and trying to keep calm, decided to even out the odds for Eden a little.
In the thick of battle, Eden was dueling with one warrior when she saw another fast approaching from the corner of her eye. Before she had a chance to think a way out of the situation, she saw an arrow sail through the air and hit the oncoming Turk straight in the upper shoulder, causing him to fall off his horse with a loud groan. Eden used the moment of surprise to suddenly disarm her assailant and backhand him with the broadside of her blade, knocking him to the ground unconscious. She spared a moment to find the source of the arrow and saw Arielle already aiming at another Turk. She didn't have time to figure out whether she was more mad that Arielle hadn't stayed behind or thankful for the assistance, no matter how unnecessary it might have been. Another Turk bolted towards her from the back and she threw herself into the heat of battle again. During the entire fight, Eden realized that Arielle was always somewhere in the back of her mind. Whenever she lost the blond out of her peripheral vision, she would turn ever so slightly until she saw Arielle again.
Eden flung herself towards two Turks dragging away another screaming woman by the hair, elbowing one in the temple so suddenly and powerfully that he collapsed, out cold. The other swiveled around, letting the woman go and quickly pointed a loaded crossbow straight in her face which she coolly knocked back so hard that it flew back into his face and broke his nose, cut his forehead, and sent blood streaming down his face. He cried out in pain, dropped his weapon, and trotted away. Before she could decide whether to chase him down or not, she suddenly noticed that Arielle was nowhere to be seen. She took another quick scan of the land, living, wounded, and dead and still nothing. She felt that charge of protection begin to pulse within her. And then she heard a scream.
Eden didn't need a single second to process whether the scream belonged to Arielle or not; she simply knew. She turned Arion towards the direction of the cry and he sensed her urgency and broke into an immediate, fierce gallop. Eden heard another scream. A few moments later Arielle's struggle came into view from behind a large boulder and time seemed to slow down for Eden. The Turk was straddled on top of a struggling Arielle, intent on wanting to have his way with her. He pulled at her clothes, punching her when she struggled. With one hand, Arielle tried to fight back and with the other was struggling to grab the sword he had carelessly tossed to the side. Eden saw his cruel sneer and the blood running from Arielle's nose. She crouched down in her saddle, her frigid rage turning into one, huge force. Her muscles coiled, aching to strike and a moment before she was right over him she let out a yell which caused him to raise his head and she uncoiled, springing up and then forcibly back down, driving her blade neatly between the Turk's neck and shoulder. He drew in a long breath, shocked and paralyzed, and his eyes wandered down to Arielle. He then gasped loudly, blood suddenly pouring from his mouth, his eyes widening. He sputtered twice and finally leaned over, letting out his last breath, dropping heavily on top of Arielle. The blond then felt the body being flung off of her like a rag doll and strong hands around her shoulders.
"Are you alright?" Eden asked, her voice laced with a frightening rage.
Arielle looked up at Eden in a stupor. Her eyes were wide, her lungs gasping for breath, her limbs sometimes twitching and jerking for no apparent reason. Her mind was having trouble registering what was happening. The bravery of what she had imagined she was doing was wrestling with the reality of battle that has no time or care for such sentimentalities and simply cuts down whoever is standing in the way. There was blood everywhere; on her, on Eden, on the ground. In a frantic attempt to regain control of her spinning mind, Arielle focused on Eden's eyes, two blue orbs like sapphires set ablaze. She watches me like... like a... Eden looked her over quickly. She saw that Arielle's clothes had remained intact; the brute hadn't managed to get much of anywhere and Eden let out an internal sigh of relief.
"I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm okay." Arielle managed to stammer out, slowly regaining control of herself and trying to hold back the fierce oncoming shaking, "Am, am I okay?"
"Yes, you're fine." Eden tried to assure her in a slightly gentler and calmer tone.
"Okay, I'm fine, right? I'm fine." Arielle repeated, not taking her eyes of Eden, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."
"Listen to me," Eden began without taking the time to think or listen, "I need you to get up and get back on the horse so we can out of here. Do you think you can do that?"
"Yes, yes, I can, I can do that." Arielle replied and slowly and very shakily got up to her feet.
Eden took a step back and watched the stunned blond take shaky steps over to her bow that was lying on the ground a few steps away and then turn to walk back to her horse that had trotted away wisely to a safe distance. Eden didn't say a word. The blond staggered along, not asking for help, not making a single sound in pain. Eden rather reluctantly turned back to the peasant travelers. She got back on Arion and galloped over to them. They tried to thank and praise her, but she impatiently rebuffed their advances and told them to get moving before the Turks who had retreated in the meantime came back with a larger party. The peasants nodded and began to scurry about their horses and carts and shouted final thanks and blessings out to Eden as she rode away in a hurry.
She rode up to Arielle who simply sat on her horse, staring out into the distance, making no sign of recognition that she saw anyone approach. Eden saw Arielle lips move lightly as if she was silently talking to herself. The knot that appeared in her eyebrows matched the one growing in her stomach.
"Let's go." Eden simply said and saw Arielle nod faintly.
They made camp in the evening and spent it in silence. Arielle, as usual, fell asleep before Eden did and the warrior took it as a good sign. Yet a nightmare woke the blond up in the middle of the night. Eden shook her awake and when the blond took a few deep breaths, she returned to her bedroll on the other side of the fire. Arielle was quiet for the rest of the night.
Eden silently thanked God that the next day was one free from any unpleasant surprises. But it was also a very quiet day. Arielle said next to nothing, still silently mumbling as if she was trying to convince herself of something. Eden noticed the strange look on her face, the slightly dark rings under her eyes and realized that the only reason the blond had been so quiet that night was because she hadn't slept at all. The warrior began to rack her brains to find a way to help her with something she was evidently struggling with. She didn't talk, didn't want to eat. As Eden went though different things she could do, it suddenly dawned on her that her growing worry over Arielle's state was because she now saw a glimpse of herself in the blond. And then she mentally smacked herself upside the head with a mace. Arielle felt that the whole thing was her fault and Eden had done nothing to show her otherwise. She wanted to take the responsibility for something she didn't do upon herself and deal with a drastic ordeal all by herself. Yes, she should have stayed put like Eden asked her to, but, truthfully, that also was not a guarantee of safety. Eden let out a deep breath. If the situation wasn't so serious, she would have probably laughed. Arielle was trying to be just like Eden when Eden thought that no one in their right mind would want to be like her. I should have done something when I found her. I should have comforted her then. I'm so...
The day drifted into the evening and then into night. They made camp and ate in silence and lay down to sleep just like the night before. Arielle tried to keep awake, but her sheer exhaustion took control and covered her in sleep which was quickly interrupted with a strong shaking of her shoulders.
"It's just a bad dream." Arielle heard Eden say to her and she nodded and absently watched Eden return to her bedroll.
The blond lay back down and stared up at the sky, unable to register what she saw there; she was too focused on keeping awake. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the Turk's face, the cold sneer, the blood, smelled the dust, heard his disgusting laughter, watched him die right in front of her eyes. Before she could let her mind spin out of control again, exhaustion came to stubbornly claim her once more. And again her eyes shortly afterwards flew open to the feeling of hands shaking her amidst the echoes of her screams.
She glanced at Eden who was studying her with an intense and worried look. She furrowed her eyebrows and pursed her lips slightly and Arielle was afraid that she was angry or irritated with her behavior.
"I'm, I'm sorry." Arielle whispered in a slightly hoarse voice, ducking away a little.
Eden sighed heavily and returned to her bedroll. She found herself wanting more than anything at that moment for the blond to hysterically throw herself on the ground and cry her eyes out; at least then Eden would know it would be alright in the end. Arielle closed her eyes for a moment and breathed a sigh of relief that she had evaded ending up on the receiving end of Eden's anger and mentally scolded herself for being so troublesome. She rubbed her temples with her shaking fingers, let out a deep breath, and lay back down to stare at the sky absently again. Her head felt something other than the dead tree stump she had been leaning against and she jolted up and turned. Eden was there, looking at her closely, but with a great calm.
"It's alright," she told the blond, in a voice Arielle later would recall was like silk, "go ahead."
Arielle couldn't move and just stared at her. Here was the terror of the Holy Lands offering her her lap as a pillow. Arielle was completely dumbfounded. She had spent weeks prying and poking at the warrior to get her to show a human side Arielle was absolutely convinced she had and now when the rare moment finally came, the blond froze in amazement. And fear. She wanted to be strong, to be brave, she didn't want to be pathetic and weak. If she let the tough and fearless warrior comfort her, what would she be showing her by that?
Eden hung her head for a moment and couldn't help but notice the dire irony of the situation. And then she noticed the potential danger of the solution for her. Faith. She shifted up towards the blond and sat down right alongside, slightly in back of her. She then cautiously slid an arm around the blond's waist. She felt her heart quicken and took a slow breath to calm it down. When Eden saw no negative reaction she continued, pulling the blond in a little closer.
"It's alright. Come here." Eden breathed, lowering herself down on the bedrolls that she had pulled together earlier and taking the blond with her.
Eden lay on her back, her arm around the blond who now was on her side with her head on the warrior's shoulder. They lay there for a few moments in completely awkward tension. Something kept trying to continually rebel within Eden, to pull away, to close up, and shut down. The touch of the other woman burned her, both painfully and pleasantly. Somewhere in a deep cavern of her soul, it was something Eden needed and wanted- a speck of humanity, a touch of warmth. But her memories refused to accept it, reciting all the things wrong with it and the potential dangers it brought along with it. She almost wanted to laugh; if wars were fought with touches, she would have been defeated before she could raise a hand. She clenched her teeth a little and forced herself under control. 'This is not about me. This is about her. She needs this. I'm doing this for her.' she repeated to herself in an effort to quell the hateful voices in her head.
"Go to sleep." Eden offered, but she felt no tension escaping the blond, no change in her poise.
"It's alright now, go to sleep." Eden repeated in a soothing voice and ever so slightly stroked the blond's back with her thumb, "I've got you. I'll keep watch."
She heard the blond's breath catch with those words and after a few moments her body began to slowly relax. She noticed Arielle's trembling hand cautiously and somewhat absently venture around her waist. Eden shifted a little. The blond's hand froze on its route, hovering over Eden's waist, not knowing whether to advance or retreat. Without thinking, Eden gave the blond a very gentle squeeze, enough that the arm left its hover and rested finally on her waist. Both women let out a simultaneous, unconscious sigh. Arielle stared at her arm and the place where it found itself and was absolutely amazed. She was so baffled by it all that she moved her fingers faintly, feeling the fabric of the red gambeson and the small rise and fall of Eden's breathing. And then it suddenly hit her, the reality of all that happened and the reality that Eden was there, beside her, comforting her instead of being angry.
The blond's hand suddenly clenched, taking a fistful of Eden's gambeson and trying to draw it near as if she was hanging on for dear life. She buried her head in the warrior's shoulder and began to cry in an overwhelming rush of emotion. It brought relief to the both of them, the tension finally finding an outlet in the blond and Eden was calmer now that Arielle had found her way out of a sad place she had never really belonged. Arielle heaved sob after sob into Eden's shoulder, never loosening her fistful of the warrior as if she was afraid Eden might finally become fed up and just leave. Eden responded by wrapping her other arm around the blond and softly began to rock her. The warrior had grown to despise almost any emotion other than anger since they were just different kinds of weaknesses and weakness gets you killed. But here she found herself deeply touched by the blond and her shameless show of emotion; she saw the trust in it, she saw the courage. She marveled over it. All these years of killing and hating, building up impenetrable walls, keeping everyone fifty arms' lengths away and this young, giddy blond simply walks up to her and lets a tear fall onto the warrior's skin and sends all those years to hell. She thought it bewildering. She also thought it very dangerous. But not tonight.
The sobs faded after a while into quiet sniffles and whimpers. Arielle shifted her head a little and noticed a large wet mark her tears had left on the red gambeson. She raised her hand and absently stroked it. It looked like Eden's heart had bled out onto the surface.
"I'm sorry," Arielle said in a quiet, raspy voice, "I got it all wet."
"It's alright. Just water." Eden shrugged lightly.
Arielle returned her arm to Eden's waist and let out a pained sigh.
"Thank you."
"No problem." Eden decided on saying after biting her tongue on her usual response, "I'm just... I wish I had...It's not your fault. You know that, right?"
"I should have stayed behind like you told me to."
"Maybe." Eden acknowledged, "But he still could have attacked you. Don't know how he got passed me."
"Eden, you were fighting ten men at once. Someone was bound to get passed you."
"I don't know... But you did well."
"How did I do well? He attacked me. He almost..."
"But he didn't."
"That's because you got there in time. If it hadn't been for you..."
Eden squeezed the blond a little. There was no point in arguing the matter, in the end, all that was important was that Arielle wasn't hurt.
"I... I... see him... when I close my eyes. I feel his breath on me... I struggle to reach the sword to... so I can..."
"I killed him." Eden said strongly.
"I know. He was still breathing... still looking at me... I did nothing... I just let him..."
"I killed him, Arielle, not you. There was nothing you could do." Eden repeated, turning her head to look straight at the blond. "I took his life, no one else."
Arielle nodded and Eden turned her eyes back up at the stars. She wanted to find the Turk and kill him again for what he was putting Arielle through. These were the small trials, the tests of faith for Eden. She would see such a grave injustice done, no matter how small, and have to use all of her strength and will to not go on a rampage against God. What some considered a gift given to her, she mostly saw as a curse thrown upon her. She knew the one weakness in God's total power- the free will of man. And she had seen what man could do over and over again. She would have nothing against the cruel and the evil hacking each other to pieces in senseless wars until only the peace and simplicity of nature was left. Yet, when the dark side of human nature effected the innocent, those like Arielle, Eden just couldn't stand it.
"I saw you hit that Turk charging me." Eden offered, trying to show Arielle something she didn't see or think that Eden saw, "It... I... You did really well today."
Arielle felt a faint smile slide across her lips and felt a tension deeper inside her begin to slowly release.
"What happened to the travelers?"
"Oh, I told them to hurry and move along before the Turks came back."
"They'll come back?" Arielle asked in sudden worry.
"Ssh, no. I told them that so that they would move quicker. The road here is pretty dangerous. If they had just stayed there, then they would have been easy prey for thieves or whoever else. They had to keep moving."
"Eden?" the bard asked after a while.
"Yes?"
"I'm glad we helped them. I'm glad you helped them." Arielle admitted quietly.
Eden said nothing, but realized that for the first time in a long time, she hadn't fought for herself or out of anger. She had tried not kill anyone, though she felt no remorse for the dead Turk who attacked Arielle. In her mind, the blood that had stained her blade again was justified.
Eden shifted to unwrap her one arm from around Arielle and the moment she moved, Arielle's hand clenched and grabbed a fistful of Eden's gambeson again and she let out the very faintest of whimpers in which Eden could have sworn she heard 'no'.
"It's okay. It's alright." Eden consoled, returning her arm around the younger woman and feeling her noticeably relax, "Go to sleep now. I'll be here."
"You'll stand guard, won't you?" Arielle murmured, her eyes finally growing heavy, her voice growing quiet, "You'll watch me like a... like a hawk..."
"I'll watch you like a hawk." Eden replied after a moment, surprised but pleased with the comparison.
Arielle didn't hear her reply, but it didn't matter, it was something she already knew. She had no nightmares that night.