Eden's hearing began to return very slowly but surely. In the beginning, her hearing started to come back in strange, short spasms that she sometimes barely had time to notice. With time, the warrior lapsed in between periods of her perfect hearing to adequate hearing to a wide range of buzzing, ringing, and high pitched shrills that nearly drove Eden mad. Lawrence noticed that in this state the noises of the city made Eden agitated and her nerves were always on edge. When her hearing would suddenly deafen and then return again, Eden would be bombarded by the hundreds of sounds of the city and it made her jump. Lawrence decided that it would be better if the warrior had somewhere much quieter to recover before she accidentally did herself or someone else harm.
Lawrence knew of a rough dwelling in a woodland around an hour's ride away from the city. He had slept there for a night once shortly after he had arrived in Jerusalem and needed a quiet place to think. He thought the spot would be perfect for his two friends. He decided to escort the two women to the woodland and neither argued. Arielle rode with the Hospitaller since Xanthus was yet to be found and the journey, though short and uneventful, was covered in an awkward silence between them all. They reached the edges of the woodland and rode casually down the narrow path that wandered between the oak trees and wild, tangled brush. They passed two streams and rode up a small hill to the secluded spot. The stone dwelling was in somewhat worse condition than he had remembered as they dismounted and looked around. There was a nice, cool spring only a few steps away and the rising mountainside from one side and a few trees around kept the area in a relatively cool shade. They walked into the hovel which was dusty, rickety, and looked like it hadn't been lived in since the times of Christ. But the thatch roofing was in good shape as were the walls and Lawrence walked out finding it satisfactory.
Eden was still looking around when Lawrence was untying his saddlebags. He placed them up against the wall, returned, and mounted his horse. Arielle walked up to him.
"It should be peaceful here; hardly anyone knows of this place." Lawrence said dryly, "Nevertheless, always be careful. There's a dagger in the saddlebag for you too."
"Lawrence," Arielle said slowly, looking up at him intently, "why are you helping me?"
"Because I want to prove myself wrong." he replied quietly and then raised one hand in parting, turned around, and trotted off.
The fact that they were by themselves and could finally spend some time to talk seemed to have exactly the opposite effect on the friends. They spent the entire day unpacking and making the dwelling more livable, cooking, gathering some water and wood, and so on without saying one word more than was necessary. Arielle didn't know what to say and Eden didn't know how to respond and so they tiptoed around the mountain between them, foolishly hoping that by some miracle it might go away by itself.
After a day of busying themselves with even the smallest and most trivial of tasks, they ate a light supper in silence and decided to go to sleep. There was only one wide bed, but when Arielle wanted to raise the subject with Eden, the warrior just trudged over to the long bench by the wall and began to prepare it. Arielle hung her head and climbed into the bed slowly, not wanting to risk an argument.
As Arielle fell into a fitful sleep, Eden lay awake, the constant buzzing in her head not letting her relax. So she stared up at the thatch above and began to wonder how long her state would last and how much longer she would have to stand it. Would it get better or was this annoying state of in-betweenness permanent? Her soul meandered off to a darker place, the black valley that it never really seemed to enter nor ever fully leave. What kept her on this earth with such stubbornness? And for what purpose? If her life was to be in the service of others and God, then how could she help anyone in her state? Eden simply couldn't see the purpose or meaning in her deafness.
The warrior closed her eyes under the strain of her conviction that she would never hear well again. It was torture for her. From the depths of the darkness that she was letting herself sink into, a light appeared and began to spread until it almost burned her eyelids. Her eyes flew open and a figure stood at the foot on the bench, surrounded by light and glory.
"Michael..."
The archangel was, Eden thought, the most beautiful, glorious, and formidable of all the angels. He stood both daunting and gentle, dressed in gleaming, golden armor, carrying a sword made of saintly fire. His eyes were made of flame as his hair seemed to be. A wise understanding emanated from him like from all the angels, but his powerful stance reminded that he was God's greatest warrior. He stood very quietly, hardly making any movement, patiently observing the guardian.
"Michael, you come for the dying..." Eden whispered.
The archangel said nothing, his eyes staring at Eden and right through her, knowing her thoughts, heart, and pain.
"Please... take me away..." Eden continued and saw Michael narrow his eyes at the words, "Take me with you..."
"Why?" Michael asked in a quiet, but powerful, rich voice.
"I don't want to be here anymore... Please have mercy upon me..."
"You know that I cannot do that." Michael answered simply.
"Please..." Eden begged with a trembling voice, a solitary tear rolling down her cheek, "if you are merciful, then please kill me... I've lost everything and I have nothing more to give... Everything I touch seems to leave me eventually..."
"It isn't mercy to grant a request simply because it is asked." answered the archangel as if unmoved.
"Then take me from this life in a lack of mercy," Eden argued, "I don't care if I die, but this?... This torment?... Haven't I suffered enough or is this an example of God's benevolence?"
"And Arielle?" Michael asked, tilting his head slightly towards the bard, "Is she your torment?"
"No..." Eden replied, shaking her head slowly, "but I can't protect her like I should."
"You can protect her as only you can."
"Which means not at all."
"Which means more than anyone else." the archangel concluded, "Qui ignoratis quid erit in crastino."
Eden knotted her brows at Michael, not knowing exactly what he meant by the words. Yet as she opened her mouth to ask him, Michael disappeared and left the room dark again. Eden thought over what tomorrow might bring and saw nothing special in the day. A rather loud whimper from Arielle caused Eden to turn her gaze towards her and a strange thought struck her- perhaps tomorrow didn't necessarily have to be a day.
The morning brought nothing new for the two women. Both seemed to awaken more tired than the day before and they somehow made and ate breakfast without hardly saying a word or even recognizing each other's presence. It was too much for the usually warm and friendly blond to bear and she decided to walk off through the oaks, mumbling something about looking for another spring. The guardian simply watched her go.
There was a quiet anger in Eden that she kept a death grip on, afraid that if it bubbled to the surface, it might destroy their friendship once and for all. She felt used, betrayed, and mad at herself that she seemed to be taking everything lying down. She wondered if Arielle knew exactly what damage she had done and what danger she had simply leapt into. It was true what Garrett had said, betraying a guardian was severely punishable; she could have just left the bard to what she rightfully deserved...
Eden sighed heavily and shook her head. None of that was really right or true. She remembered when she had felt a fierce jolt in her center, the lightest incomprehensible whisper in her head, the sudden, short-lived burning of her arm and she knew that Arielle was in trouble. She thought nothing of her own safety; she only knew she had to get to the bard as quickly as possible. It was like an unnamed force was pulling her there, telling her that the blond was her charge and by her side was the place Eden was supposed to be. The one thing Eden had learned over the years was that it often turned out that God's will, at least in the beginning, hardly ever matched her own. But the entire part of her life that she had spent rebelling against everything brought her absolutely nothing in return except a long string of regrets and a very nasty reputation. The warrior ran a hand through her hair and rested it on the back of her neck. She was a warrior, but this battle based on concession and forgiveness was one that she simply didn't know if she could win. Nevertheless, she found her feet moving forward in search of the bard. Whether she was to win or lose, she was never one to back down from a fight.
Arielle meandered through the trees. Her shoulders were slumped under the invisible pressure of her guilt and mistakes and she began to think that this was what Atlas must have felt like. She sometimes thought that if Eden knew how much she really hated herself now, then perhaps she would see that is was practically impossible to add to it. She felt like the world's most pathetic dunce. She had wanted to be her own woman so much that instead of choosing for herself, she simply did the opposite of what Eden had advised. Yet, in the end, she had consented to the decision that everyone who had never really cared about her had made. She almost hated her entire family for it and all the persistent, choking lessons they had forced down her throat. She wanted to throw herself on a sword every time she thought of the voice within her that screamed that she was going down the wrong path, but she had managed to strangle silent. Why hadn't she listened? And if she didn't listen to herself then why would she expect Eden to listen to her? The bard was simply waiting for the moment when Eden would tell her to go home. She dreaded it and just the thought made a chill go down her spine. Because one thing Eden didn't know was that despite everything, there was a part of Arielle that had never let go of Eden, had never said goodbye and had never forgotten. She had made a mistake, yes, but once she realized that, she only continued in her mistake in the conviction that Eden would now want nothing to do with her anyway. The blond ran both her hands through her hair in frustration and let them drop down to her sides. And while she made her way up to a spring that flowed into a stream not far off and perched herself on a large rock to sit and think, Arielle prayed for a chance to let Eden see that she might be foolish, but she wasn't the monster the dark-haired woman probably thought she was.
It wasn't long before Eden found her and sat down near the bard on a fallen tree stump. They sat there in silence for what seemed to be a century, staring out ahead of themselves, lost in their own thoughts, fears, and inhibitions.
"If I told you I'm sorry, it wouldn't be enough, would it?" Arielle said, finally breaking the silence.
"I know you're sorry," Eden sighed, "but my memory is a different thing."
"Let me help you try to forget..."
"I..." Eden said, hanging her head and shaking it, "I just don't... understand..."
Arielle sighed heavily and her shoulders slumped. On the one hand, it wasn't fair for her to expect Eden to understand when she herself barely did, but the bard knew she had to try.
"Do you know what it's like to have what's expected of you hammered into your head so hard and long that you forget that you ever wanted anything?" Arielle explained, the bitterness of her life seeping through her words, "To be constantly beneath the scrutinizing gazes of those who should be closest to you? To be judged and valued not on the basis of the person you are, but on how well you are able to fulfill commands? I wasn't born to be happy, Eden, I was born to make others happy."
"I know what it's like to have judgments see far past who you really are." Eden replied, "But I also know what it's like to fight for what you want."
"Fight for what I want?" Arielle scoffed with a cynicism that didn't match the bard and startled Eden, "I was convinced that that was exactly what I was doing. Until the numbing day when I realized that it wasn't at all what I wanted, but what was wanted of me... And even then I continued to struggle. I spent hours everyday trying to convince myself that this was the way things were supposed to be. Nevertheless, there was a voice in the back of my head that would not succumb to the talents of the best of bards, let alone me... but I was never taught to fight but to follow."
"Then why did you leave in the end?"
"Because," Arielle replied in a quivering voice, looking over at the warrior, "when I saw you in that cell... you looked at me... the way you always looked at me... and there I saw the better path..."
"I am no path to anyone..." Eden commented, shaking her head sadly.
"That I don't know," Arielle added, "but who's to say that it's not a path we walk together?"
Eden remained silent and Arielle hung her head in defeat. She slid off the rock and walked back to the dwelling, leaving the guardian alone with her thoughts. Eden stared out into the distance and thought about all the roads she had taken. Once, she had thought she had reached the end of her road when Arielle suddenly bounded in at the last moment. Then a second surrender appeared and again the bard appeared. Their paths had turned into one before Arielle decided to split them again. Again a bitterness began to rise within her asking how the bard could have treated her so after all she had done. How many times did the warrior save her? But after a long, deep breath, the warrior noticed that the bard had saved her too. It wasn't as spectacular or visible, but it was a rescue all the same. It's easy, the guardian mused, to judge another's actions while being oblivious to one's own. Wasn't there even a lesson about seeing the speck in someone else's eye while forgetting the beam in one's own? And in the end, Eden knew best what it was like to make mistakes, to be judged hastily, and to live with the guilt of it all. The guardian kicked a rock. Give me a sign, a fire in the dark.
The day was a warm one and Eden looked at Arielle, sitting on the same rock as the day before, engulfed in the bright light of the sun. She looked both beautiful and... troubled. The heaviness of her being in comparison to the lightness and cheerfulness that the bard was always full of caught the guardian's attention. Eden let out a deep sigh. Even from afar, she saw the weight of her experience weighing on the bard's small shoulders. Eden had lived through an ordeal, but the bard was going through her own. Am I so caught up in my own pain that I'll abandon her now? And Eden suddenly remembered the bard's look when Eden had begun her drunken rant in Tripoli. Although faced with a potentially violent warrior quite visibly on the brink of self control, Arielle stood her ground. She could have chosen to run off with the comfort of twenty perfect excuses, but instead chose to put herself straight in the dangerous path of a toppling warrior. And in the end, she had caught Eden without being crushed in the process. Only the damaged can really understand the broken.
Eden had left the bard to her musings and walked amongst the trees, content with the quiet she found there. She wandered amongst the trees and brush and along a small stream, enjoying the babbling of the water. She thought about lots of things. She thought about her friendship with Arielle, she wondered what Lawrence would say and how jealous Garrett would be. She wondered where she was to go and what she was to do now and wished that she could tear herself away from it all for just a moment and see her brother and sister and ask them how they were. No matter, she mused, she would learn it all in due time.
When the warrior returned, Arielle hadn't moved from her spot. Catching sight of Eden, the blond slid off the rock and joined her, consciously making sure to kept a distance between them so as not to irritate the warrior. It pained the bard that they had lost nearly all their closeness, the playful quips and banter; Eden didn't even smile at her anymore. How much she missed all that.
"One conversation doesn't change much, does it?" Arielle said mostly to herself and after several moments of Eden's silence added, "Would a hundred? Because if they did I would have them all with you right now."
The battle between Eden's heart and mind grew more and more violent. The bard's words filled the holes left within the guardian with the ease of truthful purpose, which bothered her more than if she knew that Arielle was lying. Would it be a weakness to succumb to the sweetness of the words? Would it be shameful to surrender so quickly? Wasn't the path of a warrior to fight even if that fight turned out to be against Arielle?
Arielle reached out and gently touched the guardian's shoulder. They both knew that her first reaction would be a short-lived tension, but they observed what Eden would do next. Through the sheer will of an overactive mind, the tension in her muscles beneath the blond's touch remained and Arielle slowly withdrew her hand.
"Tell me, what can I do?" the bard asked in quiet desperation, her shoulders slumped and her eyes solemn.
"Nothing." Eden answered almost inaudibly. Hold me and erase our hurt.
Arielle felt as if a spear had been thrust right through her middle, the pain between them so thick that they could build castle walls from it. If there had been the smallest possible thing, anything at all to hold on to, Arielle would have clung onto it for dear life. Yet, instead of slowly swimming to shore, she had the feeling that they were only drifting further and further apart.
"When Dorian... when he told me you were gone..." Arielle said with a cracking voice and stopping in her tracks, "my world fell apart... I sank into a corner and cried over your cloak... wanting you to come back... I never felt as lonely as I did that day..."
Two warm tears fell unabashedly from the bard's lashes and down her cheeks. Eden clenched her teeth as her heart pounded with the blond's hurt.
"I never wanted you to leave..." the blond whispered.
"I never left you..." the warrior whispered back.
"I know..." Arielle acknowledged with a single, small nod, "but I still seem to have lost you."
"I'll always protect you."
"I was afraid you were going to say that."
Saddened with the realization that there seemed to be nothing more left between them, Arielle walked off with heavy, aimless steps, leaving a very torn Eden behind. After a few minutes, something in Eden collapsed in a somewhat fearful exasperation and the guardian found herself quickly catching up to the bard.
"Eden, I am so sorry that I can't even put it into words..." Arielle choked out desperately, whirling around to face the warrior, balling her hands in front of her into fists, her eyes turning glassy.
"I know." Eden answered simply, also feeling the strain.
They stood there for a while in silence, neither knowing what to do with themselves.
"You know what?" the bard admitted with some frustration, "I sometimes wish that you would just shout and curse at me."
"What?"
"I don't know which is worse, your anger or your silence."
Eden said nothing, dropping her gaze to the ground and making the bard shake her head.
"Please, just yell at me."
"Why should I?" the warrior replied, her irritation growing at the seeming nonsense.
"Because at least I would know that you feel something!" the blond cried out in a sudden anger, "Don't you feel anything at all?"
"Of course I do!"
"Then why won't you show it?!"
"What for?"
"To let me know!"
"What do you want?! You want me to cry every other time I see you like you do?!" Eden snapped, her voice raised in her own anger.
The comment stung the bard a little, but she was too angry to dwell upon it.
"Yes, I cry!" the bard shouted, "I cry because I'm sad! And I'm shouting because I'm angry! And I can sit my entire evenings worrying away because I'm frightened and lost! And I'm frustrated with you!"
"With me?! What have I done to you?!"
"You are like a fortress! And I try and I dig and I hammer away, but you won't for the life of you show me anything within you."
"What's the point if you'll just leave?!"
"I left because I had a stupid idea in my head. But I stayed gone because I didn't think you cared!"
"That's ridiculous!" Eden said, trying to walk away from the argument that began to make her feel uneasy and the shouting that was hurting her ears.
"See?! The moment it gets uncomfortable, you start to walk away! The magnificent Eden, a legend no one will ever know!"
"What do you want me to do?!" Eden shouted, whirling around and throwing her hands up into the air, "Lose control?! Yell about pain, sadness, and regret?!"
"Yes! Tell me all those things!"
"No!"
"Why not?!"
"Because I'm afraid!" Eden roared without restraint.
A ringing quiet suddenly surrounded them when the shouting ended and the two women looked at each other in a strange wonder and surprise.
"Afraid?" Arielle whispered, slightly stunned.
Eden stood torn between walking away to protect her heart and staying to let Arielle see it. But the words had already escaped her mouth and walking off now would only be running away, a thing she never did.
"That I'm not a story you want to hear... And that if I bare my soul, it'll make a mess we can't clean up..." Eden continued slowly and in a quieter tone, "I do care... I always did... I thought you didn't... I wanted you to have your freedom..."
"Of course I cared..." the bard said, almost hurt, but then remembering hitting Eden, "though I guess I didn't really show it."
"Neither of us did, it seems." Eden awkwardly admitted.
Arielle took a small step forward and raised her eyes to meet the guardian's, taking a deep breath.
"Eden... I was lost and very confused... you know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, don't you?" Arielle said, a plea to understand flooding her green eyes.
"I know..." Eden admitted with a defeated sigh, "I just... you could have trusted me..."
"I didn't know who to believe... Understand, that even if it was all lies, Dorian shared more about himself with me than you ever did..."
The truth of statement made Eden's jaw clamp and the muscles there pulse.
"It's just... I..."
"You don't trust me." Arielle offered.
"I want to Arielle... I really do... I just don't seem to know how..."
"Try." Arielle offered, raising her hand and resting it on the warrior's arm.
Eden flinched from the touch.
"Is my touch that dreadful?' Arielle asked, her hurt evident.
"No..." Eden answered slowly, half regretting her move, "it just leaves me wondering... when you'll leave again..."
"Tell me how I can make this right..." the bard pleaded.
Eden didn't say anything, looking at a point far off over the bard's shoulder. If Arielle did what Eden wanted her to then wouldn't that simply be following instructions? What would change then? Wouldn't she just leave again the moment she got new instructions? No, Arielle would have to respond to her question herself and Eden would have to risk that she might never find the answer.
"I simply can't, Arielle," Eden said, hanging her head and staring at the ground, "I can protect you... if you want. I'll always protect you... but I can't be your friend."
It was just too hard. Eden was a warrior and she thought with a warrior's mind. She never went into battle unarmed and not suited, knowing that it would lead to her quick and bloody death. She knew friendship was not war, but it did hold the possibility of defeat, loss, and pain, a fact she knew much too well. Her heart fought against her brain, furiously pounding to gain the guardian's attention, but Eden wouldn't have it. She couldn't risk it again. She could have the best armor on the outside, but inside she was broken and frail. She didn't know how to put the pieces back together again and couldn't have them being thrown even farther apart.
As Eden turned around and began to walk away, Arielle could clearly see, sense, and understand that something important, something almost sacral was leaving her and being lost. It was something that she simply knew and it frightened her to her core, awakening something within her.
"No." Arielle said with such unyielding force that it made Eden stop and turn around.
"I don't want you to protect me... I don't want you to serve me and I don't want to owe you..." she said with a fierce determination that flashed in her green eyes like distant lightning, "I want us to protect each other, care for each other, and see things together. I want you to stand beside me and I want to stand beside you... if you'll let me."
"How do I know you won't leave again?"
"You don't... But I don't know if you won't leave either."
Eden opened her mouth to protest, but closed it. She had not all that long ago been Zauba'a, the desert's death angel. Arielle had trusted her then not knowing anything about her and despite the violence Eden possessed and sometimes threatened her with. The warrior had pulled her into a world far above the blond's head and instead of running off, Arielle entrusted herself to the guardian who, especially in the beginning, did rather little to make her want to stay.
"We've both changed." the bard noted as if reading the guardian's thoughts.
Eden looked deep into the green eyes that always memorized her so mysteriously. She saw the truth of the statement there. Eden saw the difference in her, the change, the experience, the pain. Arielle was still the young, warm, cheerful bard, but there was now something more- the older, wiser, more thoughtful woman. And Eden realized then that she also was still the reserved, distrustful, and angry warrior, but she couldn't ignore a warmth, compassion, and protectiveness that began to creep out through the cracks the bard left in her walls. How did all this happen? They were the most unlikely of pairs, but seemed to work and fit so well together without them even knowing it. Eden couldn't say a word, her heart and mind grappling with each other fiercely.
"Eden," Arielle said softly, taking two steps forward, triggering a pounding of the warrior's heart, "I don't want to owe you kingdoms and lifetimes from a castle corner in Avignon... I'd like to perhaps see some of those kingdoms and live some of those lives... with you."
It was times like these where Arielle's skill with words shone like a full moon on a desert night and it tugged at Eden's heart so hard that she almost thought she might be pulled to the ground.
"Aren't you the bard?" Eden commented gently.
Eden took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She then began to slowly take a couple of steps backwards, away from the bard. Arielle could feel her heart falling like a wingless bird from the heavens and her entire body constricted in the sense that all was lost. Eden pulled back in an attempt to distance herself from all the light and warmth she felt from Arielle. But with each step, she instead felt the cord that kept them together grow tighter and pull Eden back to the blond. The warrior finally stopped. I can't... I simply can't... Eden looked at the blond who looked back with the eyes of a soul on the verge of shattering. She was still much the woman she had carried out of the desert. But there was also something both knowing and sad in her now. It was in the childish plumpness that she had lost in her cheeks, in the way she stood as if ready for a scuffle, and in the very thin lines that drew themselves across her forehead after hours and hours of worrying, thinking, and regret. Forgive me, Arielle, but I simply can't... go... Eden slowly outstretched her hand towards the blond.
Arielle looked at her in a mixture of excitement and disbelief. She was so shocked that at first she thought she was imagining things. Eden waited patiently. She looked absolutely magnificent, the setting sun outlining her in fire, an embodiment of power and compassion, the likes of which the bard would have had trouble simply imagining. One of the most feared and misunderstood warriors of the Christian world was holding out her hand to her. The warrior had cast down her sword and shield and decided to take a leap of faith, standing uneasily and almost shyly, waiting for the bard to bless or curse her. A smile crossed the blond's face as her heart swelled and skipped a beat simultaneously. She started to walk towards Eden and she knew that she was finally returning to the path meant for her. She gently slid her hand into the warrior's and for the first time in weeks, both felt something finally go right.
"You know my being a guardian and my past will put you in danger?" Eden asked after a while, lightly swinging their locked hands.
"You know my being myself will get you into a lot of trouble?" Arielle replied with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
Eden chuckled and shook her head.
"Come on," the warrior said, breaking away and starting towards the dwelling, "Are you hungry?"
"Does a Templar love a fight?" the bard replied.
As they strolled back, Arielle didn't feel that the wall between them had crumbled. Yet she did see a wide crack beginning to appear and she smiled at the thought and felt more than fortunate.
The tension had shattered between them, yet the distance remained. They both knew it would take time, though neither knew how much. After a small argument over the bed and that they should take turns sleeping in it to be fair, Eden finally agreed with a slight growl and Arielle took the bench for the night. Arielle lay awake, staring through the rough window across from her as Eden managed to fall asleep before the whining in ear returned.
Eden awoke quietly in the middle of the night to an unknown sound, to find Arielle lying beside her, awake and upset. The bard was looking at her, teary-eyed and with one hand on the warrior's cheek. The moonlight streaming through the window set aglow the bard's damp forehead and underlined the blond's heavy breaths. Eden's brows crumpled in confusion.
"Arielle?" she asked softly.
There was a part of the bard that wanted to pull away in embarrassment and a part of the warrior that wanted to flinch away in distrust. But Arielle's hopeful part was brighter and Eden's protective part was stronger. And they gazed into each other's eyes on the blade's edge between compliant loss and dangerous surrender.
"Hold me..." Arielle whispered with great strain, "Please..."
Eden's heart seemed to implode at the plea and she felt a jolting force run through her muscles. Yet, it was dangerous letting the bard in that close, that near, showing that much care. It would be so incredibly simple to just push the bard away and burden her with consequences and guilt and dust her own hands off. But now it was Arielle lying there exposed and unguarded, giving herself up to whatever decision the warrior might make. Whoever is a friend loves at all times. And a brother is proved by distress. And her defenses finally collapsed and crumbled as Eden realized that the bard's plea was probably the most innocent thing that she had ever heard.
Gently, Eden shifted closer to the bard and wrapped her protective arms around her. And just as tentatively, Arielle curled close to the warrior, settling into the embrace and resting her head on the guardian's shoulder, under her chin. Arielle wrapped her arm around the warrior's middle and grabbed a fistful of her nightshirt and held on like she was afraid she might be dragged off by a monster lurking under the bed. Eden could feel the blond's pounding heart against her chest.
"What's wrong?" the warrior finally asked in a concerned whisper.
"I... I have these nightmares... I... You..." Arielle sputtered out almost breathlessly as if she had a mountain on her chest.
Eden drew her arms more tightly around the disturbed bard, lightly stroking the her back.
"I'm here..." Eden simply said, making a guess to what those nightmare might involve, "Are you alright?"
There was something in Eden's voice, in her touch, in her very presence that Arielle would never be able to explain or show, but that calmed and reassured her like nothing else. The strain and anxiety in her body began to disappear.
"I am now." the bard answered calmly.
And soon the warrior felt the bard's breathing steady and deepen as she slipped off to dream just like bards should. And Eden smiled as her own eyes slid closed.
Eden awoke shortly before dawn. Though she had slept only a few hours, it had been the longest she had been able to sleep since the accident. She sighed in satisfaction and a small movement drew her attention away from the ceiling. She looked down and noticed the sleeping bard lying next to her closely, her arm wrapped around the warrior. Although Eden's first reaction was one of stunned embarrassment and a desire to push the bard away, the feeling quickly faded and instead a warm feeling spread over the warrior. She watched the sleeping bard for a few moments, seeing her more content and at peace than ever before in her deep, rhythmic breathing and the innocence on her face. It struck Eden as ironic at this young, cheerful bard would find solace in an angry, shattered warrior everyone considered a demon. What stunned her more was that the said warrior found such peace near the delightful bard. Eden smiled and decided to let Arielle be, closed her eyes, and let herself fall asleep again.
Almost two hours later, Eden awoke to find the sun streaming lightly through the window and the bard still wrapped around her. An almost silent chuckle escaped the guardian at the sight. A shift in the blond made Eden immediately go still, half not wanting to wake her friend and half afraid of what would happen when Arielle noticed them like this. But, in the end, since Eden didn't have the heart to either wake Arielle or pull away from her, she simply rested her own arm on the bard's.
Eden was perplexed that she came up with the very idea. She should be pulling away, frowning and angry at the probably false and treacherous closeness the bard was allowing herself. But Eden actually seemed to be doing everything to keep that closeness as long as possible. She was completely awestruck when she placed her arm on top of Arielle's and felt the reaction. A fire spread over her skin from her shoulder to her fingertips and then sank into her bones. Her arm tensed suddenly as if filled with a power she could hardly control. Eden lifted and flexed her slightly trembling right arm, turning it in the air and marveling over what was happening to her. She felt the fire run along a line to the center of her chest and then dig deeper down into the core of her being. Eden took a few deep breaths and clenched her fist. After a few moments, the rigidness in her arm began to relax and the fire die down. She watched her arm as she rested it on Arielle's again and felt the fire flame up again, but then quickly die back down to just a pulsating warmth and a tingling in her fingers. She remembered that she had felt something similar when being threatened by Karas, but now the feeling was much stronger. Eden took a deep breath and let it out, the strain finally gone and she wondered what it might be.
The warrior was torn from her thoughts by an awakening bard. Arielle shifted a little this way and that, smacking her lips once, and trying to get her tired eyes to open. Noticing that she was quite comfortable, she nestled closer into her warm pillow... that was moving... and had a heartbeat. Her green eyes slowly opened as her mind desperately tried to think off its sleep and Arielle looked into two, light blue pools watching her calmly. Eden saw the consternation spread over the bard's face as she began to realize where she was and what she was doing.
"Good morning." Eden said with a light smile, trying to make the bard comfortable, but nervous herself that she might run off with a squeal.
"Good morning." Arielle replied, her own smile now replacing her initial awkwardness, "I must have... I'm sorry-"
"It's alright." Eden cut her off gently, "Did you sleep well?"
"Very." Arielle answered shyly, "And you?"
"Very." Eden said with a bit of a grin.
And they both noticed how incredibly fast walls can come toppling down.
Arielle noticed that for the first time she could remember, they were walking calmly, slowly. There was nothing to run from that day, nothing to run frantically to. It was just them.
They sat at the edge of the spring, submerging their legs in the cool water. That morning they had decided that they had stayed away long enough and would return to Jerusalem. They rested there in the quiet, drinking some stewed herbs and eating from the food that they had placed on a leather pouch between them. Eden stole glances at the bard, the crackling fire behind them throwing dancing light on the tense, solemn look on her face.
"Is there something wrong?" Eden ventured quietly, keeping her eyes up front and gently stirring the water with her foot.
"Hm?... Oh, no... I was... I was just thinking..." the bard answered, torn from her thoughts.
"Anything in particular?"
Arielle looked up and saw the warrior now looking at her, knowing full well that something was wrong, but not wanting to interfere. And though fearful of the warrior's reaction and preparing for sermons of reproach, the bard decided to trust Eden.
"It's.. It's just that I'm wondering what to do... in Jerusalem..." she stuttered out with difficulty, "I have no real place there and it seems like everyone in the city wants my life..."
Eden let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, subconsciously expecting something that she would again not be able to do anything about. But this problem, she thought almost proudly, was exactly what she was meant for.
"The Orders aren't out to get you... It was just Garrett and you don't need to worry about him too much." Eden answered, picking up an apricot, "Dorian... well, he'll probably always want his revenge on you..."
"Is it always going to be like this for me? Murderers on every corner?"
"No..." Eden said, shaking her head slowly and then looking straight at the bard, "He'll get tired of running into me every single time."
A smile crept across the bard's face and found a reflection on Eden's.
"Eden...," the bard started hesitantly, "what did Garrett want with me?..."
"Garrett... is a long story..."
"We can make it a long evening..."
"Alright." Eden drawled and shifted a little into a more comfortable position, "Garrett has been more or less an annoyance ever since we met... He... He takes an interest in me... he's a stubborn one."
"It's no wonder he was so angry with me then..." Arielle commented in a tone that Eden thought slightly strange.
"We... We tried... There are things in him that appeal to the darker things in me..." Eden admitted and noticed how both of them became a little uneasy, "but in the end... I felt like I was drowning in the deep of night..."
Arielle looked up at the guardian with an unreadable look that later followed with a faint smile.
"But it's not that simple." Eden continued, feeling more comfortable again, "Garrett's obsession with me is one thing. What drives him more is his rage over being not being like me."
"He's angry because he's... not a guardian?"
"Furious." Eden replied with a nod, "He sees it as the greatest injustice in the history of Christianity. That's why he reacted so violently."
"But why? I think you should be able to care of yourself and your own without his help."
"He thinks that he might be able to service his way into favor. He can't accept that it's God's choice and you're chosen from birth. He refuses to listen and now we have a arrogant pain in the rear." Eden explained with a sigh.
"Well that certainly explains a few things."
"Arielle," Eden said in a slightly more serious tone, turning to the blond, "never underestimate that man. Please, try to stay away from him and if you're ever around him, don't aggravate him. He's unpredictable and he really has something against you."
"That's putting it a little mildly," the bard replied lightly, but then noticed the worry in Eden's eyes, "but alright, I'll be careful."
"I'll turn that overstuffed bastard into horse feed if he ever touches you again." Eden muttered mostly to herself, turning back to gaze at the horizon.
Arielle couldn't hide the smile that appeared on her face after hearing the grumbling words of the very protective warrior. She took another sip of the stewed herbs and noticed the quiet, the calm, and comfort that she felt in that place and next to that warrior and realized that even in their best moment, she had never felt anything close to this with Dorian.
"Arielle..." Eden stuttered out as if she knew what Arielle was thinking, "I'm... I'm sorry... about Dorian..."
"Don't be." Arielle said shortly, her expression turning gloomy.
"I saw... I saw... the scars..."
For a moment, the bard wanted to crawl into herself and hide away. But she let the comfort she felt next to her friend wash some of the anguish away.
"He..." the blond started, wrapping her arms around herself, "He was cold... and cruel... and mad..."
Eden clenched her jaw at those few words and started to regret a hundred times over that she hadn't torn the noble to shreds with her bare hands.
"Did he..." Eden started, but found herself unable to finish the question.
"He suddenly became so cruel, Eden..." Arielle whispered as if she was slipping outside herself, drawing her knees up to her chest, "He was so different in the beginning, but when I agreed to marry him... his words and touches began to hurt... It was like he wanted to destroy me in the most painful way possible... but he damaged my heart and soul much more than my skin."
She could hear the long breath that Eden let out in relief.
"I... I see him in my dreams... Standing over you..." Arielle tried to say until her voice cracked.
"They're just bad dreams." Eden tried to soothe, putting her hand on the bard's arm.
"It was real," Arielle countered, shaking her head, her eyes becoming glassy, "They're so real..."
Seeing the bard on the verge of breaking, Eden reached out and pulled her towards her. Feeling the warrior's warmth, Arielle leaned into her.
"You knew what a demon he was, didn't you?... That's why you came back for me... Thank you for coming back... "Arielle whispered in the warrior's shoulder.
"I would never do differently..."
"You were right Eden... I brought misery on us both... I almost lost you..."
"I'm here." Eden said, putting her hand under the bard's chin and forcing her to look at her, "You're here. And that's all that matters now."
Arielle nodded and Eden let the blond rest against her again. Eden was amazed to realize how the dark memories no longer evoked such raw emotions, the black being held at bay by the light of their bond. Like the North Star burning brightly in the night sky, the two women used as their guide back home, Eden having received her second chance at life and Arielle at true friendship.
"So," Arielle whispered, looking up at the warrior with a impish glint in her eye, "can you walk on water?"
Eden chuckled and ruffled the bard's hair.
The friends returned to a Jerusalem that was astir with the scent of war. About an hour after their return, Lawrence had found Eden and pulled her into a Hospitaller strategy meeting, leaving a bewildered Arielle with Helen. Eden learned that Dorian's forces along with the roaming bands of bandits and mercenaries had all joined together and were now marching as a large force towards the fortress Mirabel near the village of Majdal Yaba. The castle defended the road from Jaffa to Jerusalem so its capitulation was completely out of the question. Although Mirabel could withhold a moderate siege, all the Orders decided to chase down the force quickly, either engaging them in the desert or outside Mirabel. Warriors were already massing; the Templars were ready and Jerusalem's knights as well as the Hospitallers were almost assembled.
After the meeting, Eden quickly returned to her Hospitaller room where Lawrence had left her armor. He didn't ask whether Eden would join them, knowing that she would probably slap him for the mere suggestion that she wouldn't. Eden found her armor and began to dress when an excited Helen brought along a nervous Arielle.
"Where are you going?" Arielle asked anxiously, "You're not going to Mirabel, are you?"
"How did you know?" Eden asked and then stole a glance at Helen's sheepish grin and she knew.
"Please don't. Your hearing just returned..."
"I have to... Will you help me with this?"
Arielle didn't like the idea of fitting Eden for killing, but then she realized that it also was the only way she could help the warrior and make sure that she was safe. She nodded and helped Eden dress in her full chainmail armor.
"I don't want to be dressing you for death." Arielle said sternly, grabbing Eden by her chainmail shirt.
"Arielle," Eden said gently, grabbing the bard's shoulders, "I have to go. Please understand... Dorian's there."
"Then I'm going with you." Arielle immediately replied with a spark in her eyes.
"No. Stay here."
"Eden, I want to go with you."
"Arielle, listen to me. Stay here where it's safe. Dorian and his forces will stop at nothing to capture you. You'll be safe here, the Hospitallers will watch over you."
"But-"
"You're in no condition to fight." Eden explained, buckling her sword belt and then adjusting the shoulder strap of her shield.
"And you are?"
"I'm a warrior, Arielle... It's what I do..."
"Eden..." Arielle whispered in a trembling voice.
"Think of me... and I won't be far..." Eden offered, giving a sad smile.
Eden turned on her heel and out towards her waiting horse, afraid that she might soon lose her iron composure. Arielle stood there alone in the room for a few seconds before running out after the warrior. Eden had already mounted her horse when Arielle came running up to her.
"Take this." the blond demanded, raising her hand and forcing a small, cloth packet into Eden's palm and then wrapping her fingers around it, "I... I imagined this a little differently... Open it later..."
"What is this for?" Eden asked softly.
"So that you come back."
Eden looked down warmly at the bard who kept pulling furiously at her heart and she suddenly realized how much she actually wanted to make that promise.
"Be careful." Eden replied with a sad smile.
"Life is ironic..." Arielle told Eden after a deep breath, "This whole time you've been wary because I left... And now I'm the one afraid that you'll leave and never return..."
Eden was afraid she would shatter right then and there. Instead, she gazed at the bard, trying to memorize her every feature and then nudged her horse away and in the direction of the knights. After a couple of steps, the guardian halted and turned around.
"Arielle," Eden called out softly to the watching bard, "I never told you it was good to be able to hear your voice again."
Arielle smiled widely, quickly wiping away a stray tear. Eden turned back to the knights when Arielle noticed Lawrence passing her.
"Lawrence, you have to stop this!" Arielle cried, grabbing his arm, "Eden can't go into battle in her state! She'll be killed!"
"Don't you think I know that?!" Lawrence countered, breaking her hold.
He turned to look at Arielle to see a reflection of the same foreboding that he felt. He sighed deeply. The bard's innocent faith beamed from her; there were so many things she hadn't seen, so many things she didn't know.
"Listen to me." Lawrence said in a calmer tone, taking a gentle hold of her shoulders, "If there was a different way then I would be the first to take it. But the amount and activity of different dark forces here have grown ever since they learned that Eden had... weakened... They're trying to take advantage of the situation..."
"But Eden can't-"
"Eden has to. We stand to lose much more than just a castle or some dusty plot of land if Eden doesn't fight... It could open the very gates of Hell itself..."
"Then let me go too. I could-"
"No. You'll just get yourself killed and Eden would... never forgive me for that."
"Lawrence, please..." Arielle whispered, her voice and face strained.
"Stay here, Arielle, where it's safe."
"I don't want to be safe."
"Then just stay here because Eden asked you to." Lawrence tried to reason though he sympathized with her more than she knew, "I'll watch over her. I'll keep her as safe as I can... I promise."
Seeing that her fight was lost, she decided to put all her faith in him. She pulled him into a hug which he warmly returned.
"Bring her back, Lawrence." the bard said into his shoulder.
The Hospitaller said nothing, not wanting to make a promise the he could very likely never be able to keep.
-Consider that you do not know what will be tomorrow.