"My daughter!" a woman cried and took a few hurried steps forward.
Mother and daughter embraced with what looked like genuine affection. Yet the warrior also noticed the man standing next to them hadn't moved at all and only stared silently. His very presence made the hairs on her arms stand on end.
"Daughter," he greeted Arielle gruffly, neither extending his arms towards her nor even giving her a smile, "Finally you've returned though it took some doing on my part. You've changed. I don't think I like it."
He scowled at the strong woman before him that even the dress she was wearing couldn't cover up. Arielle only sighed heavily.
"Hello, father." she said quietly.
He continued to scowl at her, his hands locked behind him and his body so tense that it looked like he didn't even know where to start with his disapproval.
"It's so wonderful you're back again, isn't it?" her mother said and turned to look at her husband.
"Yes, well," he faltered, rocking a little to and fro, "I hope your journey back wasn't too tiresome."
Before Arielle could reply, Eden's horse snorted loudly and drew everyone's attention. Eden felt uneasy under the sudden collective stare.
"Couldn't keep quiet, could you?" she said under her breath to which there was another snort and a shake of his mane.
"Heavens, who is that... character, child?" the woman asked.
Eden was being her dour, menacing self in full force and a brief flash from their first encounter scampered across Arielle's mind. She made a small hand motion that only the warrior could see, prompting her forward.
"This is Eden of Florentia."
"A she?! She's in battle dress!"
"She escorted me here all the way from Jerusalem, father." Arielle explained as Eden lazily made her way towards them.
"Escorted? A woman escorted?"
"She's a renown warrior in the Holy Lands."
"Some Holy Lands those are if they have women riding around dressed like heathens and fighting battles!" he thundered and Arielle winced at the growing volume of his voice.
When Eden reached them, she made no attempt to dismount and instead bore her icy gaze into the bard's parents. Her mother felt like she might faint under the glare while Cecil almost began to growl. Arielle only swallowed loudly and fought back the urge to close her eyes. Her mother took a deep breath and shook her head.
"Welcome, Eden, I am Margret." she said graciously and curtsied, eliciting another growl from her husband, "We're grateful to you for making sure that our daughter returned home unharmed."
There was something in her nervous smile that told Eden that their gratitude ended where Cecil began.
"It was my pleasure, my lady." Eden replied and gave a short bow.
For completely different reasons, the two women now turned their gazes to Cecil. He was torn between running the bizarre woman off his grounds and keeping with protocol. He cleared his throat and willed himself to stop gnashing his teeth.
"Yes, thank you for seeing my daughter home safely, though that is exactly what I sent Anton to finally do. And now I bid you good day." he said briskly and turned on his heel to go back home.
"Cecil!" his wife chastized, but his glare made her swallow the rest of her sentence.
Arielle turned her surprised eyes from her father to her best friend and they were filled with shame. She wanted to tell the warrior that she was sorry, that she had never meant for any of this to happen, but the words wouldn't form in her mouth. Instead, Arielle turned her gaze to the ground.
"It's alright. I'll go." Eden said quietly with a shrug and gathered the reins in her hands.
Time almost ground to a halt as Arielle watched Eden slowly turn away and towards the road they had just traveled down. She wanted to reach out to her, to ask her to stay, to beg her not to leave. Didn't you promise you would never leave me? Why are you leaving me now? Something screamed within her, begging God to let Eden stay.
"You will stay here." she heard a voice thunder and she turned around to see her father glaring at the warrior's back. "You will rest and eat and leave tomorrow. My wife thinks it is the least we can do no matter how much nonsense it reeks of."
Eden turned towards him and nodded. Cecil turned on his heel once again and stormed off.
"Good morning, mother." the bard said as she walked into the parlor and sat down for breakfast, "Father."
"Good morning, my dear." her mother replied and motioned for the serving girl to pour some tea.
"I can do it myself." Arielle said quietly, getting up to reach for the kettle.
"Sit." her father commanded.
The bard immediately sat down and stared at her plate. She could hear her mother sigh, but didn't dare to look up. She watched bread and sausage being put onto her plate and tea being poured into her cup. The serving girl shuffled away and still Arielle didn't move.
"I hope you've rested from your journey... and your adventures," Cecil said as he neatly cut his bread in half, "I'd assume all that nonsense is finally out of your head and now you'll finally focus on your responsibilities here and to your family."
Arielle's hungry dissipated as her stomach suddenly dropped and her heart quickened.
"Cecil, maybe not now." his wife said.
"Why not now?" Cecil replied with a scowl, "She is my daughter, is she not? I've been understanding with all this senseless frolicking in the desert, haven't I?"
Arielle's mother only sighed and returned to her tea, not looking at Arielle at all.
"Of course, father." Arielle said, willing her voice not to shake like her hands were doing.
"Good. Maybe the hot air and sands have instilled some good sense in you." Cecil commented with a slightly lighter tone and then noticed her empty plate, "Eat up, child, you have much work ahead of you."
"Work?"
"Yes. You have suitors on their way from all across the kingdom as we speak. You should meet them all and choose your future husband from among them. To show that I'm not a completely heartless monster, you still have a few days to eat and rest before the first of them should arrive."
The room began to violently spin and Arielle grabbed on to the table to keep from tumbling off her chair.
"What?" she asked so silently that her father almost didn't hear.
"Suitors. You should marry. Like I said, you have your responsibilities."
She should have foreseen the words, but she hadn't expected them so suddenly and for them to hurt as much as they did. She had only arrived yesterday and her father hadn't even asked if she had seen the Holy City or inquired about her visible strength or scars. He did, however, have time to announce her availability far and wide.
"Where is Eden?"
"Eden?" her father repeated with visible distaste, "I sent that heathen off with the first rooster crow. She overstayed her welcome."
"You didn't even let me say goodbye to her?" Arielle asked, her voice now louder than before.
"I don't remember being obligated to do such a thing. And I don't like your tone." her father growled.
"I just came back from a journey from the other side of Christendom. You have no idea of the things I've seen or experienced. Through it all I had one friend who risked her life to bring me back home and you just shoo her away like some stray dog. And you don't like my tone?!"
"Arielle, dear-" her mother tried to intervene.
"Silence! How dare you raise your voice at me!" Cecil shouted.
"I have to raise it or otherwise it won't be heard! I understand how you are and what you want from me father, but it's too soon for marriage."
"Too soon?! Do you want to wait until you're old and gray?"
"I just returned."
"And just in time. The suitors will arrive soon. And that is the end of it."
"I won't marry."
A deafening silence ensued and Arielle braced herself as she watched her mother's gaze frantically dash from her to her father while nervously giggling ever so quietly. For a moment, Arielle thought that Eden would have been proud of her and she held onto that thought with all her might. Cecil's eyes grew wide and a vein pulsed on his forehead as he leaned slightly forward. The floor and table creaked beneath him. Everything in Arielle tensed as if she was preparing to be flung across the room.
"You will do what I tell you because you are a part of this family!" he shouted so suddenly that his wife jumped up in her seat.
"I was never a part of this family!" Arielle shouted in reply and then quieted after a tense silence fell over them, "I never really belonged... Everyone was always infatuated with Thea.. So beautiful, so graceful, so charming, married so well. The pride and joy of her mother and the apple of her father's eye... And what about me? I was the awkward girl, neither a daughter nor a son to you. I was the square peg in a round hole that no one really knew what to do with. Everyone simply patiently bided their time, hoping I would grow out of it. And sooner or later I would marry and then it would be my poor husband's problem."
"You're being ridiculous and emotional as always." her father retorted.
"And you're being kind and considerate as always."
"You confuse our roles, child. We may all be a part of this family, but there is only one head of it. Thea understood that. That's why she has had such a prosperous life."
"Prosperous? You only think that because she did exactly what you wanted her to do. What do you really know of what she ever wanted? Do you even know if she's happy? Did you ever even ask?"
"Did you?"
Arielle's jaw clamped down and her gaze turned to the floor.
"Yes, that's what I thought. Next time you feel at liberty to preach from the pulpit, make sure you yourself are without sin."
"Cecil, perhaps it would be better to return to this conversation later. It seems Arielle has woken up unwell." Margret finally interjected.
"Oh, she's fine, I can assure you." Cecil replied, glaring at Arielle with disdain, "This conversation is over one way or another. My decision is final."
Cecil tossed his napkin on his plate and stormed out of the room without another word. Arielle could hear her mother sigh and quietly stand.
"What happened to you, Arielle? You used to be such a happy little child and such good girl." she said softly.
"Was I? Well, I must have grown up, mother... become my own person." Arielle replied, looking up at her.
Her mother only looked down at her, shaking her head with pity and it made Arielle want to scream. She gripped the sides of her chair until her knuckles became white, but her mother didn't seem to notice. Margret sighed heavily again and walked away leaving Arielle alone in the parlor.
Arielle couldn't remember the last time she had her hair brushed. It was a daily evening ritual she and her mother kept when she was at home. She had never dared to mention it to Eden, but wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe it seemed childish, maybe she was afraid of being homesick. But now she was sitting in front of the mirror in her room and her mother was brushing her hair, humming parts of old lullabies while she worked.
"It's much shorter than I remember," her mother said softly, "but it will grow back out in time."
Arielle gazed at Margret via the looking glass. She seemed much older and sadder than she remembered her. Yet now she began to wonder if her mother had changed or if Arielle now saw much more through clearer, more mature eyes. For a moment she felt ashamed for having left her mother alone with her father for so much time. But she shook her head to clear the thought before it took root. Each person decided what kind of life they wanted to lead and she doubted her mother would ever understand hers.
"What if I didn't want it to grow back?"
"Why on earth would you not want it to grow back? You look so much prettier in longer hair. More gentle and fair."
Arielle gently pushed the brush away and turned to look at her mother.
"Mother, I'm not a doll on display. I don't need to be pretty."
"Well of course, my dear, but by God's good grace you are." Margret replied, taking Arielle's hands into her own, "I love you no matter what you look like, but we must think of the suitors now."
Margret smiled sweetly and a string of chills ran up and down Arielle's spine.
"Mother," she whispered in a trembling voice as tears began to weld up in her eyes, "please don't make me marry."
"Why not, dear? Are you betrothed to another?"
"No."
"Well then you should marry, dear child. What else do you expect to do? Who will take care of you once your father passes, God grant him long life?"
"Please, mother, I can't. I'm not made for marriage." Arielle said and took a deep breath, "I want to see the world. It's a fascinating, terrifying, and beautiful world, mother. There were so many times I wish you were there with me to see it."
"Me? Nonsense, I'm much too old. But I believe you when you say it's a fascinating place. And you are one of very few who had the chance to see it at all. Have faith, my child, if your husband is gentle, he might allow you more travels."
Arielle pulled away, the tears rolling down her face. The smile melted off Margret's face as she looked into the disappointed, slightly disgusted eyes of her youngest daughter.
"Don't look at me like that."
"I thought that of all people you might understand me, mother." Arielle replied as she folded her arms over her chest.
Margret slowly placed the brush back in her lap and pressed her lips into a thin line. There was something between sadness and anger in her eyes and Arielle didn't know whether her mother was about to burst into tears or run out of the room.
"For God's sake, don't you think I was ever like you? I was young once too, filled with foolish ideas and dreams." her mother cried out and then continued more quietly, "But we can't be young forever. We have responsibilities."
"You're not asking me to be mature. You're asking me to throw away who I am."
"We all throw away who we are at some point to become someone else. Hopefully, a better version of ourselves. It's simply the workings of the world, whether we like it or not... I was once very much like you... And your father... he was once... well, different... As you can see, things change."
"But they don't have to change, mother."
"They change without you even noticing, child." her mother replied and reached out for Arielle's hands again, "Don't make it any harder on yourself, dear child. You'll grow accustomed with time and soon you won't even remember what you were so afraid of to begin with."
"I don't want to surrender my dreams like you did."
"Surrender? My, you really have your head caught up high in the clouds, don't you?" Margret replied with a light laugh, "Remember when you were little and were afraid of the dark? You were absolutely convinced there were demons hiding in the shady corners. But you grew up and realized that it was just foolish, childish nonsense. It has nothing to do with surrender, but simply the passing of time."
Arielle wanted to laugh. She didn't know how to tell her mother that with the passing of time she had learned that demons were indeed much more real than she could have ever imagined.
Arielle knocked softly on the door of Cecil's study and then opened it enough to see him at his desk, writing.
"Father, may I come in?"
"Enter." he said simply without stopping what he was doing.
Arielle swallowed and walked into his study, stopping in front of his large, wooden desk. Cecil continued to write as if he hadn't noticed that she was standing there waiting for him. Arielle turned her gaze away from him and outside the wide window. She half hoped that she would see Eden galloping back for her; to save her from marriage, to save her from being ignored, even to just save her from the scratching of the quill that was now grating her nerves. But there were only leafless trees and grassless ground looking back at her and it made her shiver.
"What is it?" he asked, finally pushing his papers away and looking at her.
"Father I'd like to talk about the suitors."
"Have you one of your own?"
The question caught her off guard and for a brief moment she wanted to tell him that she did, but that he had sent her away. She wanted to lash out against him with fury, she wanted to shock him into submission. But the anger vanished almost as soon as it had appeared and she said nothing.
"I didn't think so. All you ever were was ungrateful."
"Ungrateful?!"
"It was always something with you. You wanted your education to be different from Thea's because you were such a free, creative spirit. You made a fool out of yourself with those archery lessons, but I allowed for it. I never heard a 'thank you'. I let you study bookbinding against my own wishes, but you only complained that you couldn't be a bard. I even let you travel to the Holy Lands because all you could talk about was spiritual revival and the thanks I get is you coming back long overdue and with some monstrosity by your side." Cecil explained, his voice growing louder with every sentence, "And now I arrange only for you to do what every woman should; I even leave the choice of husband to you and again you are unhappy. That is how you are ungrateful."
Tears ran down her face as she listened. Cecil let out a loud, annoyed sigh. He pushed himself away from his desk forcefully and approached her almost like a wild cat stalking its prey and she could almost hear him growling underneath his breath.
"And why is it that you're crying again? Tell me, have I offended you in any way? Have I said something that's not true?"
"Why do you treat me like this?" Arielle asked, "What have I ever done to offend you? You act as if my very existence is only to spite you."
"I could never understand why you couldn't be like Thea who always understand her responsibility and, more importantly, her place."
"I am not Thea and never will be! I am Arielle and I am your daughter whether you like it or not!" Arielle cried out through her tears and took a deep breath, "I come here as nothing more than a daughter asking her father to reconsider the intention of having her marry far before she is ready and against her own heart."
"Heart?! Dear God, child, are you going to sway me with speeches about love?!" Cecil exclaimed in total amazement.
"I want to marry for love, father. What's so wrong with that?"
"I don't know how you came about these ridiculous notions and I really don't care. I have tried to be patient with you, but now you leave me with no choice. You will marry because I tell you to. That is final."
"And if I refuse?"
"Try, daughter of mine." he snarled, angrier than she had seen him the previous morning, "If you refuse to fulfill my wishes, I will disown you in every way possible."
Arielle could almost feel the words slap her hard across her face and she felt her legs grow weak and begin to tremble. Her whole world was shaking. She had known that she was never the centerpiece of her family, but she would have never thought that she was that expendable. It hurt her to the very core. Her family was her family only in name and she could almost hear all her childhood memories shatter under the weight of that realization.
"Now if you've finally had enough of your dramatizations, I would suggest you lie down and rest. I want you to look your best for your suitors."
The tavern was filled to the brim and Eden wondered if it was always that way. She started on her second ale and lazily watched a bard in the corner tell bad stories and even worse jokes. Someone finally threw a half eaten apple at him and he scuttled away, whimpering. She looked back down at her ale and saw a wavy reflection of herself staring back at her. She growled and slammed her cup against the table, letting some of the ale splash out over her hand. It only made her feel even more disgusted.
She had gotten through half of the ale when the noise and lack of air finally forced her to get up and push herself through the crowd and out into the night air. She took a large breath, held it, and let it out slowly, the crisp, clean air nipping at her lungs and throat. Eden looked up and saw nothing but dark, gray clouds.
"Fine then, don't show me the stars." she muttered.
The warrior shuffled over to a great oak that grew next to the inn and leaned against it. Even from there she could hear the laughter and slamming of pints coming from inside the inn. A couple stumbled out from inside, singing some song completely out of key and hanging onto each other as they tottered home. Eden groaned and slowly slid down the trunk of the oak until she was sitting on the cold ground.
"You're giving up, are you?" Xena asked in a sudden bright flash.
"Leave me alone. I don't want a lecture."
"You're giving up?!" Xena repeated, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No."
"So you're just sitting here wallowing in your own misery because you have nothing else better to do?"
"Yes."
"You're trying my patience." Xena growled.
"And you're trying mine." Eden retorted, looking up at the angel, "What exactly do you expect me to do? Go charging into the manor and whisk Arielle away?"
"So your idea is to simply give up and drown your misery in drink?"
"Why not? What difference does it make now?"
Xena threw her arms up in the air and scoffed.
"I can't believe this. After all I've suffered."
"You've suffered?! Excuse me, but could you please remind me what you've suffered because I can't seem to remember the wrong done to you." Eden said angrily, pulling herself up to her feet, "From what I can see, I'm miserable, I'm alone and you're just standing here in your slightly shiny aura until you have to disappear back to heaven again."
For a brief moment, Xena balled her hands into fists, but then let out a large breath and took a small step back.
"You're right. This isn't entirely about me."
"And it's not about me either." Eden said after a few moments and in a softer tone, "It's about Arielle and her choices, her life. And it seems that I'm no longer a part of that."
"I don't understand you." Xena said, shaking her head.
"That makes two of us then."
"You have battled uncounted shadows and evils and stayed together despite everything. You knew what the world thinks of you, but still decided to take that chance and remain by each other's side. But you act like Arielle's father has the ability to simply close all those chapters and start a new one that doesn't know you."
"Isn't it exactly that?"
"He's her father, Eden, not her god. You fought Hell's gatekeeper, the demon of hate, the demon of plague. What are you so afraid of a simple man?"
"He's dragged her from the Holy Lands, from the only life that she ever really lived, and from my side. He might be just a simple man, but he has more power over her than you or me." Eden reasoned, "But by all means, if you have a fantastic idea that can get her out of that house again, I'm listening."
Xena only shook her head and put her hands on her hips. She glared at the inn and then at the young man who stumbled out of it. Eden turned to look at him too. He seemed so carefree, his only worry the grand headache that would inevitably come in the morning.
"Some are carefree while others carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. But in the end what does it matter; there is balance." Eden said quietly.
"I refuse to simply stand by and watch the scales tip once this way, once that."
"Again, I'm waiting for your brilliant idea."
"I don't have one."
"Then you're wasting both our time."
"Do you think this is just hard on you?" Xena growled, taking a step closer to the guardian, "Do you think that the choices you make now won't affect anyone around you? You want to be the sole head of your life, but you act like a bystander and then complain about it. Don't you stand before me with shoulder slumped and ask me what I can do for you. It's your life. And it's supposedly your love. You do something with it."
"Would you help me if I asked you to?"
"I can't intervene, you have free will. " Xena replied with a shake of her head, "But I can tell you that if you make the right decisions, everything will fall into place."
"I see." Eden said slowly, "I guess that's that then."
Xena watched Eden totter away until she disappeared in the night.
"What the hell are you doing in my house!" Cecil shouted when he entered the parlor that morning.
"Good morning to you too, my lord. Did I ever mention that you have a lovely home?" Eden said with the widest smile she could manage.
She stood and bowed gracefully while he stood there in shocked rage.
"I thought I had run you off my lands and you'd be halfway through Genua by now. Get the hell out of my house!"
"Now is that any way to treat a business associate?"
"Business? I have no business with you!"
"But I, my lord, have business with you. And business I think we would both profit from."
Cecil still stood there with his arms rigidly at his sides and his hands balled up into fists, but he remained quiet. Eden took a few steps forward and he just waited.
"It's about Arielle."
"Sodomite!" he bellowed.
"Oh are we back to that again? Think what you will." she shrugged.
"I could have you burned at the stake!"
"And I could slaughter your whole family in a blink of an eye, but you don't see me making threats, now do you?" Eden retorted, her voice dropping to a growl.
She glared at him, almost daring him to do something he would regret. His eyes bulged, the veins in his neck pushed through his reddening skin, but he said and did nothing.
"You have 10 minutes. After that you won't live to see the morning."
"From my experience, my lord, it isn't wise for a goat to threaten a wolf." she spat as she took another step towards him and watched him open his mouth, "But 10 minutes will be enough for what I have to propose."
"Speak then before I lose my patience."
The shouting had awakened Arielle from a troubled sleep and she rubbed her eyes, trying to understand whether the commotion was something she had really heard or just dreamed. She pulled herself from bed and slowly walked down to the kitchen as she drew a thick, linen robe around her. The morning seemed chillier than the previous ones and hoped a cup of hot tea would ease her morning shivers and chase the shadows from her mind. The cook was quiet and accommodating as she always was and fixed Arielle the tea she asked for. She heard her father's voice coming from the adjacent parlor, but what made her leave her cup on the windowsill and run to the next room was the sound of another, very familiar voice. She burst through the door and stopped the conversation in mid sentence.
"Eden?" Arielle whispered with such unbelieving surprise that it almost sounded like an accusation.
Cecil laughed as the two women both froze, stunned to actually see each other.
"Come daughter of mine, see what your friend is really like." he said proudly and he ostentatiously poured a bag of coins over the table.
"Father?"
"She wanted to buy you like some common whore."
"What?"
"That's not true!" Eden countered angrily.
"Silence! You had your time to speak!" Cecil shouted.
Arielle stared at the pile of coins on the table. It looked to a be a substantial amount, something she could never afford to probably ever pay back or earn and something that she would sway any man. She glanced at her father and then turned to Eden. The whole scene didn't match the warrior- Eden's troubled eyes, the pile of coin, her grinning father all here in the middle of the parlor. She ran her hand across her eyes, hoping it was all just another bad dream, but they were all still there when she reopened her eyes.
"Is this true?" Arielle asked Eden quietly.
"I wanted to buy you a choice. Nothing more." Eden replied just as quietly.
"This is a choice?" Arielle repeated, pointing to the coins, "A choice between what?"
"What you have now and your freedom."
"You wanted to buy my freedom?" Arielle repeated and Eden nodded, "Why didn't you talk to me first? Do you even know if it's what I want?"
"You want this?!" Eden asked and then swallowed hard, "You want to be married away?"
Arielle didn't know what hurt more, the pain she heard in Eden's voice or the pain of knowing that was her future. She closed her eyes, unable to look at the warrior that second, worried that she might lose all her resolve. She straightened and drew a deep breath.
"I'm not some serf or slave to be bought." Arielle replied.
"That's not what this is. Don't you understand? I'm buying your freedom."
"How in the world can you put money and freedom in the same statement? If my father took money from you in order for me to have the freedom to choose, I only switch from his hands to yours. In either case, I'm not free."
Hurt crossed Eden's face as she took a step back as if she had just been slapped across the face.
"That's not..." Eden started and faltered, "That's... It... It doesn't matter anymore it seems."
"You're quite right, though I dare say it never really did." Cecil said as he rose from the table, "Now get the hell out of my house, you heathen. You had your chance. You can't say I wasn't a gentleman."
Eden turned to him and debated whether to not slap him across the face with the flat of her sword. Instead she swallowed audibly, her eyes skirting from him to Arielle and back again as if she just realized she was lost and didn't know how to get back home. She nodded ever so slightly once and turned to leave. Time seemed to slow to crawl as Arielle watched in growing terror her greatest nightmare come to life.
"Eden this isn't what I meant." she said, beginning to run to the warrior, " Eden, please wait-"
"Get out! Get out of my house!" Cecil began to shout, taking a few large strides and getting between the two women, "Get off my lands! I swear, I'll run you out of the entire kingdom if I have to!"
Everyone could almost hear Eden grinding her teeth as she glared at Cecil. Her hands balled up into fists and she resisted the urge to scream at the top of her lungs and lunge at him with all the fury she carried within. Arielle watched the tense standoff of hateful stares between Eden and her father and, for a moment, she wasn't sure who she wanted to win. Cecil finally looked away and turned his head towards the door behind him.
"Anton!" Cecil suddenly bellowed.
"Yes, my lord?" Anton said, approaching Cecil as if he was just coming back from a stroll in the gardens.
"You..." Eden growled.
"Now, now, you do remember what I kept saying about the unnecessary violence?" he said to her, raising his hands in front of his chest.
"Send word to all the adjacent lords, keeps, and manors. I will have that deviant exiled from this entire kingdom and then burned at the stake!" Cecil roared at Anton who only nodded once in response.
Eden stormed off, refusing to look behind, knowing that whether Arielle was hurt or happy, it would all be unbearable.
"Father! What have you done?!" Arielle cried.
"What have I done?! What does it even matter what I have done? Do you have a mind to stop me, daughter?" he hissed through his teeth.
"No, father." she replied slowly and turned her gaze to the floor.
"As it should be. Go to your chambers and rid yourself of the very memory of this freak. You won't ever see her again."
The deep of night fell like a dark shroud and made it hard to breathe. The horror of having to marry a man she hadn't even met was becoming more and more real. It tore into her mind and shouted in disbelief that this was all happening just like her father said it would. Arielle pulled the covers around herself more tightly, but her shivering wouldn't cease. Her new painful reality made her begin to wonder if she had ever really experienced anything different at all. Had she been in the Holy Lands? Were Lawrence, Constantinople, the Fiori real? Had she really been saved in the desert by a black bandit? Had Eden ever saved her? Was Eden real? Her heart let out a loud beat as a part of her mind played back memories of a rainy night in Florence. It was all real. I have to remember it was real. And it was mine. But her stomach only turned more savagely as she realized that despite the touch and taste she still remembered, Eden was gone. It was now someone else who would be touching her skin and kissing her lips. It made her want to scream.
"Dear God, please take me from this nightmare." she whispered into the shadows, "Please let me wake up in her arms. Let her tell me this was nothing but a bad dream. Let her run her fingers through my hair and tell me that she's mine, that she'll never leave me as long as she breathes."
She waited for a while, but nothing stirred; there was only silence in response. Tears began to roll down her face.
"Answer me. Please."
The floorboard creaked in the adjacent room. A light wind struggled through the cracks in the window pane and let out a tiny shrill as it did. But nothing else moved. Nothing else happened. The nothingness became so great that it filled the room and made her feel indescribably small and meaningless.
"If this is what you want of me then please erase these memories. Erase all I saw, all I felt and lived through. They only cause me pain now. If I have to live someone else's life, then at least be benevolent enough to spare me the pain. Strip me of my loving memories like the leaves off a winter tree and just leave a dead stump."
Still nothing moved and nothing happened and Arielle fell into a fitful sleep thinking that God probably didn't care either way. All the while Gabrielle stood in the corner unseen and silently cried.
The suitors began to come calling just like her father had promised. Most rode in on groomed horses or expensive carriages while others, to her parents' dismay, came by foot. There were ugly men who followed her around everywhere and buried her with questions to show they cared and there were handsome men who said their hellos and automatically turned to Cecil to talk dowry. She tired of all of them quickly. The days went by in a colorful blur of men and proposals that made Arielle's head spin and stomach turn. And all the while, she would constantly catch herself looking at the door, hoping to see Eden there, waiting for her, ready to be taken away from it all.
But Eden never came. Arielle played out their last conversation over and over in her mind, wondering if there was anything that she could have done or said differently that would have kept her from where she was now. She could have stood up to her father and, for a moment, a part of her wondered why she didn't. She shook her head, blond strands falling into her eyes. I've been a royal fool for thinking that my family would ever accept Eden in any way. I've been a complete imbecile to think the world would ever accept a woman warrior and a bard at her side. And they don't even really know... I've become my own undoing. Yet as her head tried to moved forward and prepare for what lay ahead, her heart wouldn't let go of Eden's memory and the hope that, in the end, the warrior would come charging back as she always did. The hours dragged on and Arielle began to miss Eden more and more, like a parched flower gasping for rain. Arielle hung there in a limbo between pointless hope and dreaded service and it made her more miserable than she ever had been before. At times, in the dead of night, she would almost wish to go back to when she thought Eden was dead. Death at least brought closure.
When all the suitors had finally funneled through the house and some had already left under her father's unforgiving gaze, her parents threw a ball for all the remaining potential husbands. There were to be costumes, dancing, food, and drink and before the night came to an end, Arielle was to announce her choice. Pages ran to and fro with hens, mutton, and a large suckling pig brought from market. The incessant sound of chopping came from the kitchen as the cooks went through piles of carrots, potatoes, onions, and beets. The whole house was filled with the aroma of a gathering feast and it made Arielle nauseous.
Margret spent more time than expected trying to make Arielle look fresh and fertile. She'd take a step back every now and again as ladies in waiting put ribbons in her daughter's hair and pulled on the strings of her corset. Margret's lips would form a thin line of disapproval, she'd sigh that Arielle still looked pale and miserable, and would resort to applying another round of powder and color to her face. In the end, Arielle resembled very little of herself, but her mother finally hummed with approval.
The closer the grand evening came, the more the house began to resemble something between a marketplace and a circus of oddities. Cecil's voice could be heard booming through the house with commands and berating and Margret shuffled this way and that, rearranging centerpieces at least five times. It seemed like the world was trying to outrace itself while Arielle simply sat on the edge of her bed and listened to her own breathing. She swallowed and found her throat very dry. She turned to pour herself some water, but realized it would ruin the rose on her lips. The mirror in the corner reflected her image and she stared at it long and hard, trying to see whether the woman she knew was still there.
"Don't leave me." she whispered.
The lovely face in the mirror barely seemed to move under all that paint and powder. It showed no interest, no remorse. She curled her hands into fists, resisting the urge to claw that fake face off. Tears began to form in her eyes and she blinked furiously lest they fall down her cheek and leave a trail of sorrow for the world to see. For a moment, in that swimming vision, she thought she saw Eden walk up and stand behind her.
'Don't be afraid.'
Arielle turned around and saw no one. She turned back to the mirror and Eden had vanished. She cringed at a pain that coiled up inside her as if it was tying all her insides into tangled knots. In a wave of anger she grabbed her pillow and flung at the mirror, causing it to turn and reflect her empty wall. She hated the looking glass; it was spiteful just like everything else in that house.
Arielle was finally dragged out of her room when it was time for her to see the guests and make her decision. She leaned on the balcony railing and looked down at the crowd of suitors below. Some looked anxious, others looked bored, some didn't even seem to be paying any attention. Her eyes moved from one suitor to the next, her gaze never resting long. None of them had gained even the smallest of her favor. None of them was Eden. Her knees trembled and she held on to the railing tightly to keep from teetering. She drew a long breath and pretended they were enemies down below. There were jinn and demons looking at her and she had to be brave.
"My lords," Arielle said, clearing her throat to get the tremor out of her voice, "It is time I make a decision."
"Speak up!" a couple of men cried from the back of the room.
"It is time I make my decision." she said more loudly and turned to look at her parents.
Her mother watched on in nervous excitement while her father glared at her as if he was just waiting for her to ruin the whole party. She swallowed hard and looked back at the crowd below. Her vision began to swim and all the faces blurred into one, nameless mass. She gripped the railing more tightly and took a deep breath.
"Enough of this!" one of the suitors dressed in black cried, throwing his arms in the air, "I challenge anyone to this lady's hand!"
The room exploded into gasps, shouts, and exclamations of surprise. Some shook their heads and immediately slunk off to the corners or against the walls.
"Nay, good lord," replied one in a hat with a ridiculously long plume sticking out from it, "the dear lady is to make her decision."
Some hummed agreement as the man in black turned to look at them.
"Is that how it will be then? You'll let a woman decide for you?"
If there was any good will or civility in the room, it disappeared immediately. Some grumbled, others took a few good paces back, and still others growled and balled their hands into fists. In all this, the man stretched out his arms and slowly turned in a circle.
"Will no one challenge me? Will no one fight for this lady's affection, my lords?"
The man in the extravagant hat spat on the floor.
"This house and its bride are not worth the injury." he said and stormed out of the room.
"Well it looks like we have a chosen one." Cecil announced to the men in a tone that carried visible annoyance, "What is your name, my lord?"
"I am Edwin of Genua, my lord, and fate has shined on me today!"
Cecil gave him something between a grin and a scowl and made an aggressive gesture to the band to play a song. Arielle watched her father walk down to Edwin with apprehension, as if the fact that the two would exchange words would make it all real. Edwin seemed oblivious to the tension in the room and the glares coming from every side. It was no wonder that Eden never favored the Genuians.
"You have made quite a spectacle of tonight." Cecil said to Edwin as he handed him a goblet of wine, "It's a miracle that everything remained in one piece."
"Your daughter is the spectacle tonight, I am sure." he replied with a smile.
"Quite." Cecil said and then cleared his throat as he glanced to see if Arielle was watching, "Are you a knight, Lord Edwin?"
"I am. I have a manor in Genua with quite a comfortable income. I also have a couple of country residences in the different city states. They all bring a modest profit. I can assure you, my wife shall live like a duchess."
"Wonderful. I'll draw up the papers to sign and all the particulars."
"Shall I not speak to Arielle tonight? Should we not ask if she favors this decision?"
"Why? She was to have a husband and now she will have one."
"You don't believe in love, my lord?" Edwin asked, swirling the wine around in his goblet.
"Christ, that sounds like the same gibberish my daughter babbles on about. Few things ever have to do with love."
"Do not worry, my lord, I have coin to back up my affection."
"Good. I'm glad we have found a mutual understanding. Come see me in the morning for business and we'll conduct the ceremony afterwards."
"So soon?"
"Are you in no rush? Is there something amiss?" Cecil asked, his eyebrows knotting.
"I am at you beck and call." Edwin said with a slight bow.
Cecil simply nodded, bowed stiffly, and walked out of the ball room. As his footsteps echoed and faded away, Edwin looked up to find Arielle watching him. He smiled and waved; Arielle's stomach sank. She felt bile crawl up her throat and she pushed herself away from the balcony and ran to her room.
"Your daughter seems to have run from me. Have I done something to offend her?" Edwin asked, turning to Margret who was coming down the stairs.
"Not at all, my lord, do not fret. She is young and I'm sure all the emotion and extravagance of tonight have simply made her a little faint. I will make sure you see her before you leave tonight."
"Perhaps we let her rest if she feels unwell."
"Nonsense, you should at least exchange a few words before the ceremony. Let her see how fortunate she is and she will surely sleep better."
"As you wish, my lady." he replied with a curtsy.
A few minutes later Margret was practically dragging a faint Arielle down the stairs. It almost seemed to Edwin as if Margret was trying to smile for the both of them and, for a moment, he felt as if he was being forced to play a part in a bad tragedy. Nevertheless he straightened the front of his shirt and put on a brave face as Arielle was pushed towards him.
"My lord." Arielle said solemnly, curtsying ever so slightly in front of Edwin.
"My lady." Edwin responded with a smile, "You seem sad. Or unwell perhaps?"
"Only an impression, my lord."
"So you delight in our marriage?"
"I delight as a woman in my position should."
"That makes me happy." Edwin replied and turned to Margret, "Would you mind if I took your daughter out for a bit of fresh air. It might do her some good."
"Not at all. It pleases me that you take Arielle's well being into such consideration. Isn't that lovely, my dear?"
"Yes, of course." Arielle answered, her gaze glued to the floor.
"Now," Edwin said as he watched Margret saunter away and mingle with the other guests, "tell me what is amiss."
"Nothing, my lord."
"Do you fear me?"
"Not if I no reason to."
"But you are not happy."
"I'm simply overcome by many emotions, my lord. It's not everyday a woman decides to marry."
"I see. Of course." Edwin answered.
His tone conveyed that he wasn't convinced and his silence hung heavily over her head. She hoped that if she stood there long enough then maybe he would finally take his leave. The rest of the suitors had either left or flung themselves into dance and drink as the musicians played festive music as the lord of the manor had commanded. But he continued to stand there. She could feel his gaze on her and it made her feel like she was being driven into the floor like a stubborn nail. She could almost feel the disapproval radiate off his skin, she could almost hear her father's anger ring in her head.
"Well then," he finally said with a sigh, "tonight has been a long night and tomorrow promises to be a long, eventful day. I'll take your leave and wish you a good night my dearest."
"Good night, my lord." she answered and without looking up, made her way to her room, locking the door behind her.
Then Arielle fell to her knees and cried.
Author's Note: I'm loving all your reviews and support! Thank you for sticking with this story for so long!