The In-Between

On the first Saturday of June the Kessho Apartments remained as quiet and orderly as they were any day of the week. A collection of middle and upper class young people and older, small families attended their industry jobs, occasionally went out for drinks with friends, and always returned at a suitable hour.

Packages never stayed too long on anyone's doorstep, greetings between neighbors were quick and polite, and "gossip" was never more scandalous than school admissions and vacation locations. So, it was not strange that among the residents no one ever questioned the origin of a boy, now a young man, who had lived alone on the top floor for at least the last three years.

What they did know was that Mamoru Chiba always held the elevator door open. They urged their kids to study hard so they could have a chance of wearing the prestigious Moto-Azubu blazer like he did. They noticed that every time he passed Mrs. Sugas twin boys he honked so they could wave at his car. And to the lament of all of the young ladies and even some of the older ones, they noted he was often accompanied by a loud girl with ridiculously long blonde hair.

They believed he was a model citizen and Mamoru strived to live up to the expectation he knew his neighbors and family had for him. Just two months shy of his 19th birthday it had been almost 13 years since Mamoru had celebrated with his parents. He'd long forgotten their voice, but he knew whenever his Dad wasn't on call at the hospital his running sneakers would be gone from the door while the sky was still foggy with pinks and purples.

He would be no different.

Whether it was early on the weekdays or sleeping in until 8:00am on the weekends, his run was a present factor of every morning.

So today, it was not out of the ordinary that by 8:45 he was back in his apartment, showered, and scrolling through one of two news subscriptions. Fifteen minutes later he heard a knock on his door.

Chopin floated in from the kitchen accompanied by the light shuffle of house slippers and the occasional sizzle of batter on a hot pan.

Usagi zipped up a pair of jeans and rolled them from ankles up before placing them in a pile on her left. Low stacks of gray, blues, and crisp white sweaters surrounded her boyfriend's bed as she picked another shirt from a hanger.

Freshly shaved legs readjusted under layers of black chiffon. Goosebumps dotted her arms and chest. For the past week it was almost always too cold if she wasn't in direct sunlight, no matter the temperature.

For the first time in a long time she had actually remembered her dream.

She could feel a warm heat at her back but in front of her was an empty universe. Stars glittered like diamonds pinned against a blanket of endless black. There was a silence that stilled her and yet at the same time she didn't feel threatened. A power lingered in the air that felt so familiar she could almost place it.

The hairs on her neck prickled at the heat behind her and she saw some sort of flame from the corner of her eye. Usagi tried to look over her shoulder, but when she finally turned she realized she was standing on her balcony, her face wet with tears she didn't remember shedding.

The burner clicked off.

"Food's ready!"

"Coming!"

Mamoru reached to the upper hand of his dark wooden cabinets where two plates and two bowls were neatly stacked. Usagi grabbed the syrup, whip cream, and bowl of fruit. He grabbed the napkins, coasters, and cutlery.

This was their Saturday ritual, if only a few hours earlier than usual.

In the past, the apartment looked different when Usagi was over. Shoes found their way under the couch, a sweater would cover the books on his desk, a comb, barrette or some other bunny shaped accessory would usually be left in between the cushions of his couch to be hunted down hours later.

Today, her black platform sandals were neatly placed at the door next to his house slippers. A loose white cardigan hung off her shoulders. The top of her spaghetti strapped sundress clung to her chest and scooped just low enough to reveal the gentle rise of her breasts. White embroidered sunflowers patterned the soft black material that ended at midcalf. A single paper towel laid across her lap to collect the crumbs.

He'd never seen her up on Saturday before noon, even when she would wake in his bed.

"You didn't have to come over so early to help me. I know you like to sleep in on the weekends, Usako."

It didn't surprise him when she had called him two days before to announce she would be over to help him pack before their date, but it had shocked him when she showed up at his door at 9:02 am with folded cardboard boxes under each arm and a roll of the tape held in her mouth.

"If I came any later you might have been done already." She was already picking up her fork to dig in. She started to speak, paused to acknowledge the half eaten pancake resting on her tongue, chewed, swallowed, and began again.

"You have four days left in Tokyo. Today is our last full day together before I see you off at the airport." She spoke in between large bites. Mamo had precut hers before she soaked the three layers in syrup and whip cream.

Younger blue eyes glanced at his plate. He cut as he ate a dreadfully plain breakfast: no syrup, a sliver of butter, and always with a side of fresh fruit and a cup of black coffee.

He put down his cup and pulled her shoulder to him so he could rest his chin on the top of her head. She smelled like roses and honey.

"Usa, you really didn't have to," he started.

"But I wanted to." Her hand traced a circle around the wet rim off of the cylinder filled with the bitter liquid.

Absent-mindedly, she brought the white porcelain to her lips. A gag immediately jumped to her throat and she contorted her grimace into a tight smile. She would have to ask her Dad how to make the frappuccinos her Mom teased him about.

Mamo lifted a curious eyebrow at his girlfriend of two years. She hated coffee. She hated early mornings and it was a Saturday no less.

Dark brows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and curiosity. He pulled back to turn her head towards him. His thumb cleaned away a drop of syrup that had settled on the corner of her pink lips.

"You like coffee now?"

Every adult she knew drank coffee. They couldn't all have bad taste. "I could get used to it. I had a friend who was a singer and made me fall in love with ginger tea," she smiled at the memory of Seiya yelling at her while she dumped honey into her cup.

His arm unwrapped from her and his body turned back towards his plate.

He hated every reminder that he was gone. Every battle they had changed them, it made them a little wiser, stronger, and he was there to bear witness to it all. Galaxia exacerbated that ten times over, especially with Usa. Something had changed in the months after they had said goodbye to those other Sailor Scouts and that foreign princess.

Winter was tough. He had to lie extensively to Harvard to maintain his scholarship, push it back to the summer, and then catch up through the holidays on all the work that he'd missed.

Then, there was his relationship.

In the beginning, there were times she would never let him go. Then, there were other days she seemed afraid to touch him, as if he would melt in her hands.

With a new flight date for Boston, work finally got a little easier. Things were not the same, but they were getting better.

As time went by, her smiles were a little smaller, her eyes a little less bright. Yes, she was neater. Yes, her grades were better. Yes, she was different and he would never fully grasp why because he simply wasn't there to witness the catalyst.

The girl who had never let the crook of his elbow go untouched, who always reached out to grab his hand first, who rested her knee on his whenever they sat beside each other had changed. He saw it in the inch that separated them now even as they sat.

Motoki said it was a part of growing in the relationship. The arcade store owner admitted after Reika came back from her trip to Africa things were a little different and it took time for them to get into the flow of things before she went off to England.

Michiru said she would speak when she was ready. He was ready to ask in October when the battle was won. He had time to listen in February. It was the end of May.

Usagi smiled and said nothing while her eyes told him there might be things she would never say.

She pulled back to use a napkin and rub the already gone syrup from her mouth. Orange juice clashed with the bitter taste of coffee.

They ate the rest of the meal in a slightly uncomfortable silence while the piano played softly.

Before he could reach, Usagi collected the plates and placed them in the dishwasher.

She had skipped out on the arcade for two weeks for this date. Remarkably, she was up to date on her homework. Ami looked at her like a proud teacher and actually kept the first English paper she aced.

Minako audibly gasped when she canceled the second arcade date in a row, especially when a new Sailor V game had come out. After the first fews days it was surprising how little she missed it. She'd seen the real Sailor Venus fight against lemures, daemons, heart snatchers and even senshi time and time again, too many times in fact. Plus, this was one of the last times she would be seeing Mamoru for a year. It had to be perfect.

Her and Mamoru would be all over town today. First, the park where Chibi-Usa first dropped into their lives, then a quick snack at the arcade, and finally sunset at the Tokyo Tower. The last time she was there Kunzite was attempting to kill her, but she was determined to make happier memories so Mamoru would think back and remember all the good things that happened in Tokyo. History couldn't be changed, and the future was set, but she'd make sure the present was different.

It was a hot June day.

A wet mix of red dye number four and sugar dripped onto the white napkin Mamoru held. His hand didn't move to clean the treat melting onto his hands because his eyes were locked on his future wife.

Skin that seemed pale in his apartment glistened tan. He drank in her sun soaked curves, the toned muscle of her arms, and the length of her neck. Golden hair glowed platinum and her skin eyes glittered gold. She looked ethereal.

"Usako?"

Blonde bangs cocked to the side as her head jerked away from the clouds and focused on her boyfriend again. "Mhm?"

As gorgeous as she looked, she had also been staring directly into the sun, unblinking. He handed her the treat and with a free hand removed his black shades and slipped them on her face.

He grabbed a wet wipe from his pocket before sitting behind her, his legs stretched out on either side of her.

Feelings from breakfast lingered in his mind. His tongue flirted with the word 'Is everything ok?'

"You look beautiful" is what escaped instead.

The second half of his compliment was murmured into her hair as he pulled her against him. Her body was so warm. She hadn't slept over since the final battle. Besides the passion they once shared he missed feeling her body against his.

He repeated himself, this time giving her waist a little squeeze.

She looked up at the sun again. It was a while before she spoke. "Do you ever think about being King?"

Dark sunglasses now prevented him from reading her face.

"Sometimes." It was an honest answer. Before it was all of the time. He'd watch Usagi and Chibi-Usa asleep in his bed and think of how often they fought at his side as equals, not just wards he had to protect. The weight of being a guardian, for not only them, but the world, was not lost on him. It was in those moments when dew was still wet on the grass he would go for his runs and try to drag any words of fatherly wisdom from the corner of his memories.

After seeing King Endymion the pressure alleviated. His father figure was his future-self. What more motivation did one need than not only knowing the finish line, but already seeing yourself cross it? When evil Sailor Galaxia was defeated it rarely crossed his mind. The nightmare was finally over.

"Not anymore though. I'm lucky to know our future and I couldn't be happier to welcome it with you by my side."

He was tall enough to look directly down at her even while sitting, but her borrowed shades barred him from seeing her eyes.

Usagi felt the sweet ice dissolve before it even hit her tongue. She tasted the sugar and her next words carefully.

"If you're going to give up being a doctor to be a king, why go to the states at all?"

Mamoru exhaled, that was it. He had thought briefly about quitting the Harvard venture altogether. It was a miracle that when he got his body back the school acted like there was no issue of him missing the first year of the program due to his "extenuating circumstances".

"Usa-ko, if you want me to stay I'll do it in a heartbeat". His hands unwrapped themselves from her waist and scooped underneath her arms to envelope each hand. Mamoru had seen the long stares, and watched her turn in her sleep on the rare occasion she decided to nap at his place. Maybe it was the reason that as meticulous as he was, he had waited just a week before his flight to pack. A part of him didn't want to leave.

She had been away from him for a year, for him it had only felt like an extremely long day.

Usagi lowered her face to take in the expanse of the park. The grass glistened all around them. Oblivious children played on the swings and carefree parents watched them from a comfortable distance from close park benches. They all looked so happy.

"I want you to do what makes you happy, because it's what you want to do." She could feel his heart beating hard against her shoulder.

"I've thought about it. Believe me, in five years I'll be King of this planet and I'll barely have started residency by the time we're both crowned." It was shocking to even him that they had spent so much time fighting for their lives that they never even discussed what the in-between would look like. They had been to more scout meetings than dates.

Was this what was pulling her so far away?

Her body leaned further on him and he took that as a good sign. She was here now. That's all that mattered to him.

"I know the timing sucks. And I know I'm missing your birthday and I'm so sorry. The good part is by taking summer classes, I'll be back before your big 18." He took her left hand that held the pink princess cut ring he had given her a year ago. He kissed each finger.

His voice got quiet.

"My Dad studied there when he was young too. Some of the Physics books I have in my apartment are ones he stole from their library. I want to see it with my own eyes."

Usagi's eyes misted immediately. Mamoru rarely talked about his parents, he knew so little of them in this life and his past one that the mention of them brought him too much pain. She had her family, her scouts, and him. while it was not within her powers to interfere with natural deaths of Mr. and Mrs. Chiba or even bring the Shitennou back to life from stones.

"We're lucky enough to know what our beautiful future holds, all we have to do is get there. Ami was bragging the other day about how good your grades are, and Makoto was telling me how responsible you were with Chibi-Chibi while I was away. You've worked so hard, all you have to do right now is be you, Usa."

Be you, Usa.

She'd met two future versions of herself and had the fragmented memories of a past third. Be who, exactly?

She'd already let the silence last too long. Usagi stuck out her tongue and laughed. "I'm missing your birthday too. You better make friends quickly so you're not spending your birthday alone. Minako told me in America they call your nineteenth birthday, your nasty nineteen. I don't want to know why."

Even though Mamoru protested, dinner was paid by Usagi in small bills. They spent the early evening under the red light of Tokyo Tower hand in hand. The sun had set and Usagi tried to hide her sudden fatigue by turning yawns into laughs.

"Let's stop here for a while." She leaned heavily on a park bench before sliding onto the polished wood.

The crescent moon looked like a smirk in the sky. It offered no warmth to her. Certainly not any answers. Her hand found its way to her purse and traced the insignia on the cover of her compact. She could feel the power humming from behind the metal. Her heart felt no comfort. Her chill did not yield.

Mamoru immediately took off his coat and draped it over shoulders already covered by her sweater. "You've had a long day." He broached the subject carefully, intertwining their hands once again.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Or back to my place echoed in his head but he remembered the warning from his friends to give her time, even if it would be a year before they would be face to face again.

A rare kiss on the lips, hugs she always broke first, had left him taking longer runs and even longer showers.

If she went to sleep as soon as she got back she could wake up right at dawn. The more hours of sunlight she could take the better she felt. Luna would be curious but Mamo would be a great excuse. She turned to him and smiled, "I think so."

She could see the need in his eyes and moved it to the back of her mind. What if the nightmares returned? What if he saw her sleepwalking to the window and stepping into the sun light like a woman possessed? She was barely able to avoid Luna who had luckily taken a liking to sleeping in Chibi-Usa's old room in the attic when she wasn't off with Artemis.

His red sports car pulled up to the gate of her house. Before she reached to unbuckle her seatbelt he grabbed her hand and placed it to the back of his lips. "I know….we've both been so busy lately. I want you to know that whatever is going on with you I'm here for you, whenever you want to talk. I want you-I need you to know that."

Her head was pounding. The small headache that started at her temple was ripping its way to the nape of her neck. It was closer to 8pm and all traces of the purple and pink were leaving the sky.

They only had a few hours on Thursday before his flight. This was their last night together.

"I want to give you space, but I'm here whenever you want to talk. I know since I was away-"

Her hands were back at her temple trying to massage away the ache that had blossomed into a steady pulse behind her eyelids. "Since you've been dead," she corrected him.

Usagi felt her hand drop to the armrest.

She should have asked to go home right after dinner like she planned.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

Words tumbled out quickly.

"I'm not saying it was your fault-I know since you've been back I've been distant and I promise-"

"No, you're right."

They never talked about death. The black cloud was already a presence that walked beside them at every battle. From the moment the first low level monster appeared the thought of it took space between all of them.

An unspoken rule had been broken. He wasn't "away". He had been killed and she had been alone.

"I am sorry that it feels like I've been your enemy more times than I've been your hero. I love you Usagi. More than I can even speak into words," He cupped her face and she could see a layer of tears turning his eyes to glass.

He leaned close enough that their foreheads touched.

"I am so sorry I wasn't able to protect you."

The tears were fresh in her eyes now too. Her heart felt like it was being closed in a fist. None of this was any of their fault. It was Chaos. It was destiny. It was the pain they carried in their first lives. It was Queen Serenity sending her daughter and her guards to live and die and live again in this life.

It was pain.

Usagi held his hands over hers and brought them together in her lap. It wasn't their fault they had died. It was their duty.

How could she ever possibly mourn someone that was still alive?

Her head swam with the memories of his death and the deaths of all of Sailor Guardians that had seemed so final at the time.

"It's not your fault Mamo. We just need a little time. And we have all the time in the universe."

Threads that had so easily bound them together, love, fate, the desire to protect everyone they loved had been strained. She knew it from the night he returned and the Starlights had left. A coldness had been growing.

His palms were sweaty in her lap.

"I could delay my flight until the Fall. I can take take summer classes online-"

She shook her head and the tightness in her chest released a bit. Sharing her suffering felt like stretching a muscle she had never used. The secret of her sickness pushed against her lips so she pressed her lips against his to silence it.

At least one of them deserved to have a break from the madness that was their lives. She could handle this on her own.

"No." She wiped at her own tears and he turned to blink his away.

"I'll meet you at the airport. You deserve time to really enjoy life. From now on we live with no regrets."