A/N: I honestly have no idea what this chapter is.
Picks up a short time after the end of the last chapter; Sam and Dean are both still in the cave, but Jody and her small entourage of help has arrived.
I'm sorry if this story is moving a little slowly in terms of pace; I just rewatched Red Meat and just desperately love all the long moments of uncertainty...looks like this chapter kind of ended up reflecting the way time and pain unfold in that episode.
The last of the victims was taken outside by Jody's backup, and she was left briefly alone with the Winchesters. Finally a moment to reconnect without the pretense of lies and cover stories. Dean still laid on his back, in a contradictory state of pain and elation. Similarly, Sam was sitting next to his brother absentmindedly rubbing his wrist, lost somewhere in the twilight zone between shock, awe, and comfort. Dean had spoken-really spoken. Spoken without muddled sounds or dropped letters, without tension and frustration, without hesitancy or embarrassment. And for the first time in half-a-year, Sam didn't have to labor over understanding what his brother was saying. Interrupting their silent contemplations, Jody's frantic voice replaced her calm Sheriff's tone.
"What the hell happened to waiting for me?"
Jody waited for a response, but both brothers were silent.
"What's going on, what's wrong? Sam? Dean?" Jody bent down to meet them more on their level and Sam smiled wide. Dean mirrored his brother's expression.
"S-sorry, Jody. Sam g-got ahead of h-himslef." Dean spoke with a grin the whole time, and couldn't help reveling in Jody's shocked and emotional expression.
"Dean-I- I'm so happy for you. How did-?"
"I h-have no idea b-but I'm n-not complaining."
"He killed the Adlet. I was tied up and he came to get me and he killed it-we were actually hunting." Sam spoke as if he were thinking aloud, still processing.
Jody continued to be dumbstruck, but also was able to be more logical than the two men; they really ought to move out of the cave.
"I'd really love to move this party out into the light where we can get away from the dead-wolf's corpse, if that's not too much to ask. Besides, no offense, but you two need a shower. And a hospital."
Sam reached out an arm to Jody, asking silently for a helping hand. Pulling upwards, Jody righted Sam and he reactively grimaced-the movement revealing his injuries.
"You alright?" Jody asked.
"What I get for running off without backup." Sam gave a small smile in embarrassment but assured Jody he would be fine. Dean had fallen silent for a moment, and both Sam and Jody began to notice.
"Dean?" Sam questioned.
Dean let out a breath from his place on the ground. With his adrenaline gone, he was unable to enjoy his impressive feats and instead, he began sinking into his pain.
"Dean, you wanna get up? We're here." Sam recognized that Dean was fading but his own exhaustion and pain made it difficult to give Dean all he needed. Jody, ever-observant, put a gentle hand on Sam to stop his motion and bent down herself to spare Sam the extra movement.
"Dean? Talk to me. Let me help you?" She asked.
"Help Sam f-first."
"I'm right here, Dean. I'm fine. I promise-just hurt my arm."
Seeing that Dean would not fully concede to Jody, Sam bent down as well.
"D-don't want 'veryone t-taking care of me. I'm supposed to take care of you." Dean spoke curtly, more like a complaint than a wistful plea. His voice was factual and slightly irritated-not sentimental in the least.
"Can we make a deal? You let me help you get out of this cave and then I promise I will sit on my ass and let someone take care of me?" Sam hadn't intended to, but he realized that he was exhibiting a version of Routine 3; gently encouraging Dean to help himself.
The older brother, whether he was aware of this or not, was silent for a moment. Eventually he nodded in agreement.
"Do you want to tell me everything that's wrong or are you gonna make me guess?"
"D-don't know exactly what h-happened. I think I musta f-fallen out of the car. T-twisted up by leg p-pretty bad. H-hit my head but it's okay. 'S really my shoulder."
Silently, Jody began taking off the belt that accompanied her uniform. Understanding where she was going, Sam moved out of the way so she could reach Dean. With his silent permission, she gingerly tucked the belt under his back and around his chest.
"You want me to tighten it?" She asked.
"Yeah…"
Jody slowly pulled on the leather, forcing Dean's arm to lie closely to his chest-making it impossible for the joint to be disrupted by movement. He groaned and closed his eyes, lifting his head to lightly thump back on the ground.
"Sorry." Jody murmured. "I think you both should really let me get the paramedics in here. The cover's all set, I promise."
Dean's reply came quickly and the beginning of his phrase shocked Sam.
"You're right, J-Jody. S-Sam's gotta get his wrist s-set. C-can you take him?"
"I'm standing right here." Sam reminded him.
"S-so you'll t-take him?" Dean grinned as he continued ignoring Sam.
"I'll take you both. C'mon." Jody went to stand but Dean replied before she was fully upright.
"No, just take S-Sam. I'll be f-fine."
"You have to be joking." Sam snorted.
"S'am." Dean's tone was ominous and heavy; clearly an indication of a deeper message. Dean hated hospitals-he hated feeling helpless and he hated being prodded...he hated being embarrassed and he hated the lectures. He'd been relatively willing to go in the beginning though; so desperate to find answers or find help, that nothing else mattered. He could get nice prescriptions and haggle over different medications. Oddly, when Dean was physically worse, he was treated better. He didn't mind hospitals as much. With his improvement, though, came declining care and treatment-more easily discharged without due consideration. In a way, his refusal to go now, as Sam saw it, was a refusal to lose his progress. His speech the biggest breakthrough they'd had in a long time. Looking at Dean now, Sam was sure that his brother would be seen right away and he'd be well looked after. In other words, he was in bad shape. Dean wouldn't afford to be treated well; it meant he was critical. So, settling, Sam offered a counter offer.
"Well regardless of what you're gonna do, I gotta get my wrist looked at. So I'm going to Urgent Care."
Dean took the bait.
"F-fine."
Jody held out a hand, as she'd gotten so practiced at doing, and waited for Dean to take it. Embarrassed, he stared back at her and then to Sam who was distracted inspecting his own shoulder. Not knowing what to say, he turned a bright red. Dean thought about the patheticness of his situation; Sam was hurt and needed to get out of here and he couldn't even stand up. How pathetic. How needy.
Screw talking-he wanted to walk. Dean's drastic and sudden changes in energy and ability were clearly affecting his mood. To be honest, it was reminding Jody of the girls; Claire and Alex could go from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye. Entering mom-mode, the situation became easy to assess. They needed to
Get out of here
Get medical treatment
Eat
Sleep
And most importantly,
Spend some time apart
Jody could see that Dean couldn't bear to be a burden any longer; for him to feel good, he needed Sam to separate. Likewise, Sam was fading quickly; he was drained and needed time to himself. Jody wasn't a prideful person by nature, but she was proud at how she'd manage to diagnose their predicament. Before any progress could be made, though, Dean needed to be moved. She knew she would be relatively useless in the strength department, but she also knew Sam was hurt...she knew that Dean wouldn't want to enlist his injured brother. One step at a time. Though Jody was beginning to form a plan, Sam was a few steps ahead of her as he always was when it came to Dean.
"I'd lift you but you wrecked your shoulder…" Sam thought out loud.
"Don't m-make yours w-worse pickin me up."
"We could do the sit'n'squish" Jody finally offered.
"What?" Sam remarked, amused.
"Some idiocally named maneuver I learned years ago; I sit behind Dean's head and roll him upwards so his torso's upright. You stand between his legs and lock your arms behind his lower back. I push, you pull, and hopefully you," She pointed to Dean "Are back on your feet."
"Be my g-guest."
With Dean's affirmation, they moved into position and the older Winchester reprimanded the younger for things he'd not yet done.
"S-swear to g-god you better not mess up your s-shoulder lifting my heavy ass."
Sam went to stand between Dean's sprawled legs and Jody shifted behind his head. Kneeling, she placed her hands on his good shoulder and tucked her arm under his back. Dean grunted instinctively.
"Sorry. I'm gonna have to use everything I got."
"You calling me f-fat?" Dean let out a breathy chuckle in an attempt to lessen his embarrassment.
"I'm gonna push up on three. One. Two. Three." Jody rolled her weight forward as Dean used his own muscles to sit up. Their joint effort was successful and he was half-upright, but clearly in distress. Jody still supported him behind so she was unable to see his twisted face.
Sam, however, feared the worst.
"Dean?"
Dean was absent; his eyes unfocused and his head moving back and forth repetitively.
"Sam?" Jody asked.
"He's having a seizure. It's a different kind than from what you saw earlier-this should be shorter, it looks like it's focal. Here, move his head-"
Rather than finishing the sentence, Sam intervened. He showed Jody where to move-to support Dean's weight and have his head rest on her chest. After a minute, Dean stilled and while still cognitively unaware, Sam knew the fit had passed.
"He's only gonna get worse-I can't believe everything he had to- I never should have gone after the damn thing myself. God, this day is never gonna end."
Sam turned away from the scene before him and the full force of shock overtook him. His injuries lost their dull ache and transitioned into true pain; he replayed his capture, his fear, his confinement...his worry of Dean-fearing him dead...and yet from this disaster came a huge success. Dean spoke.
In this win, Sam feared that he had been the one to prevent it; was it coincidence that Dean improved after hunting? The very thing Sam had barred him from? Feeling his chest tighten in emotion, Sam couldn't stop himself from beginning to panic.
"Sam-SAM! Listen to me. You are going to be fine. Dean is going to be fine. You need help and I am here to give it to you. This isn't all on you, Sam. It's not. So you're gonna come over here and help me lift him up, and we'll walk out of here."
Sam took another moment to breathe, and then at the sound of Dean's incoherent mumbling, came back to himself. Resuming his previous position, he locked his arms around Dean's back and waited for Jody's call.
"One. Two. Three-"
They lifted in unison, and Dean began slumping forwards into Sam's chest.
"I gotcha. You're safe. Gonna be okay." Sam dropped his pitch and volume, almost whispering to Dean-perhaps an attempt at comfort when comfort was in short supply. Jody hoped there was a moment in the future when she could extend that same care to Sam. And Dean-Dean was suffering. The boys were reaching a point that Jody feared would make them unable to help each other. But be damned, she would do everything in her power to make sure that didn't happen.
( ) ( ) ( )
A miserable ninety minutes later, Jody was at Urgent Care with a drained Sam, and overstimulated Dean, and their collective worry. Dean hadn't really ever come back to himself after his focal seizure. Sam tried to coax his brother back to lucidity in the car, but Dean had another fit instead-his damaged arm contracting and releasing. Sam's anxiety had shot through the roof at Dean's rapid deterioration. He insisted that Dean needed his meds-that it'd been too long since he took anything. Jody used all of her energy to convince Sam that the doctor would take care of it-he didn't have to be the sole carer.
Having called ahead and explained as best she could, the facility was at least expecting them. A middle-aged woman (who'd once clearly worked in emergency medicine) tended to Dean's semi-conscious state while an older man set Sam's wrist and stitched the wound on his shoulder. Jody sat with Sam, talking to him about Claire and Alex-anything to try and calm him down, distract him from his own self-destructive tendencies. The doctor had finished up and gave Sam some mild painkillers-inviting him to stay and rest for a while. Sam was anxious to check on Dean, but Jody convinced him to wait a moment longer. Jody was right as it turns out, because the other doctor knocked on the door, and came to give them an update.
"First things' first-your brother is doing fine. I gave him some medication to prevent any more seizures, I set his shoulder and stitched the lacerations. I want to give him something for the pain but I needed to ask a few questions about his condition."
The doctor gently looked towards Jody as if to ask Sam if it was okay that she was there. Sam told the woman that she could go ahead and ask her questions.
"Some of his injuries were traumatic and I treated them accordingly, but I need a better understanding of his baseline to triage the rest. I know this can sometimes be difficult to talk about. If you'd like I can let you speak, or I could ask specific questions if that's easier for you."
"I'm still uhh-processing. You should probably ask me what you need to know. I don't want to miss anything."
"Coming out of multiple seizures we expect a mental delay but I'd like a better sense of his cognitive baseline. Does your brother suffer any permanent mental dysfunction? Memory loss? Developmental delay? Any degree of brain damage?"
It was hard for Jody not to respond to the gravity of the words the doctor so calmly spoke about, but Sam responded as if he'd heard it a million times. Perhaps he had.
"He has full cognitive function but some severe language impairments. At least-well his baseline was mostly a neurological articulation disorder-a combination of Dysarthria and Apraxia. But earlier today he-I mean just out of nowhere it shifted to a stutter. He used to drop a lot of sounds, or replace them, but then he just stuttered instead. I know it's not all consistent information-he's had a lot of… damage."
"Don't worry about anything other than telling me what you know or what you've observed. All bodies and brains are immensely complex-it's okay if it doesn't seem to all make sense. So his language impairment-of any kind-is his baseline? I don't need to worry if he's dropping sounds?"
"No. That's normal."
"And his epilepsy-"
"Well-technically he hasn't been diagnosed. He's treated for epilepsy but it doesn't always categorize that easily."
"Because he has different kinds of seizures?"
No, because he was possessed by an archangel. Sam struggled sometimes at ignoring the reasoning, but there was nothing else for him to do.
"75% of the time he has generalized tonic/clonic seizures. But sometimes, like today, he has focal seizures, usually without awareness. But he's had the other ones too. Autonomic, Motor, Sensory, Aura… he really only hasn't had the uhh" Sam struggled to remember the technical name he had never needed to know. "-sorry I can't remember umm...the dropping. He hasn't ever had that."
"Atonic?"
"That's it. He doesn't have those."
"And his motor function-his arm and his leg?"
"He hurt them earlier-he had a fit and I wasn't with him. He fell. Hurt his shoulder and his leg."
Sam's voice dropped and the doctor spoke with great empathy.
"Don't blame yourself. Like I said, your brother's gonna be fine. But his arm and his leg-they normally have limited function?"
"Yeah…"
"Okay. Thank you. I'm gonna go look in on him and get him some painkillers. He'll probably fall asleep if he hasn't already. I hope you can do the same. Stay here as long as you need."
The doctor left the room, then, leaving Jody and Sam alone. The Sheriff had been leveled by the doctor's words. She had been with Dean these past few days-been with Sam. And yet hearing the words that were now a part of their vocabulary...it saddened her. But Sam didn't need sad-he needed a push in the right direction. He needed to be cared for, and he needed to be reminded to care about himself.
"I don't want Dean to come-to alone. I'm gonna see if-"
"Sam." Jody resurrected her mom-voice. "Sit. Now."
He paused his movements and Jody continued her tirade.
"You're gonna sit here and let me take care of you. You're going to eat and sleep and take the rest of the day to yourself."
"Jody, thank you, I mean it, but Dean-"
"Dean will be fine. And you will go at least an hour without saying your brothers' name."
Sam opened his mouth-presumably to say the now-outlawed name. Closing his mouth with a shadow of a smile, he nodded.
"Good. Now talk to me. About anything other than stress. Come up with the least productive conversation we could have."
Thanking for a moment, Sam settled on something adequately meaningless.
"I saw a new documentary. About the Dating Game Killer, Rodney Alcala."
Jody laughed.
"What?"
"Your leisure time consists of watching serial killers?"
"Life's too short not to embrace my hobbies…"
"No, I'm not judging. Believe me. I watched Point Break last week."
"Don't tell Dean-he'll be jealous."
Rather than reprimanding him for uttering the forbidden name, Jody smiled a gentle, maternal smile and took a quiet moment of contemplation.
"You're a good brother, Sam. And a good man."
He was quiet for a beat.
"So is Dean…" He defended.
"I didn't say he wasn't." Jody reassured him. "He's just not the one who needs to hear it right now." She stood, then, beckoning him to the door. "C'mon. We'll go make sure your brother's settled and then I'm getting you food, and you are going to sleep until the cows come home."
Leading him out of the sterile exam room, Jody knew that it was probably the last few hours she'd spend with the Winchesters until their next visit. It was obvious they needed to get back to their space and their routines. Jody wasn't saddened by this, though, she was proud. Maybe she'd given them exactly what they needed-whatever that be.
She had been a friend. For Jody Mills, there was no greater compliment.
A/N: I'm sorry this story is getting repetitive. It began as Dean whump and has naturally kind of extended but I know the same themes keep coming up. Which parts do you like? You want to see more of? What are you sick of reading about?