ACT 2 : ICE PRINCESS
The girl was awakened by a strange voice.
"Chy ye khto tut?" the voice asked. It repeated, "Chy ye khto tut?"
She didn't understand, but the sound was enough to jolt her awake. She blinked and stood
up, gathering her surroundings. Then she blinked again. This looked like a... destroyed city.
There was dust in the air and on her jacket and skirt, which she patted off.
Absentmindedly, her hand brushed against her side. Good. It was still there. That reassured
her somewhat.
"Z vamy vse harazd?" the voice asked in what the girl assumed was the same gibberish
language. She turned and saw the owner of the voice. It was a man in green and brown
military fatigues. He was carrying some kind of rifle- some kind of crude rifle.
"What?" the girl replied, raising an eyebrow. She had never heard anyone speak that
language before.
"Yak vas zvaty?" the man asked, concerned.
"What are you saying?"
With a heavy accent, the man struggled, "What is name?"
The girl replied, "Weiss."
Cliff
Laughable Donetstk Propaganda Video Featuring Princess Anastasia
Now, usually I don't read articles with clickbait titles like that. Especially misspelled
clickbait titles. I was looking for actual news on the Ukrainian conflict, whether the
ceasefire was holding or not. But Anastasia captured a lot of hearts, and I guess one of them
was mine, because at the mention of her name I was strangely curious.
There wasn't actually an article, just the video in question. It was only three minutes long, so
what the hell. Database homework could wait. I started the video and fullscreen'd it.
At first, I thought the video was a ripoff that wasn't going to show the princess at all. It
showed two men in military fatigues, presumably pro-Russian rebels, one masked and one
not. They were standing in front of mostly-intact building, and both were carrying
Kalashnikov rifles. No Anastasia in sight. I guess they'd bring her out later, or maybe it was
just some shitty metaphor.
Maybe one of the rifles was named Princess Anastasia.
They spouted off for about a minute about the militia and how they were fighting and why
they were fighting or something like that. I wasn't actually sure, because their English wasn't
very good and I couldn't understand what they were saying.
"Now we show special person who support us," the non-masked rebel said, catching my
attention. Was the princess going to show up finally?
A girl, maybe about my age or a little younger, stepped into the frame. She was scowling
hard, and clearly was not happy to be there. Despite that, her gait was firm and dignified and
actually princess-y.
"She is Princess of Tsar," the non-masked rebel explained excitedly. More like some poor
girl you found and gave a few rubles to pretend to be your princess. And they didn't even get
the outfit right. But the demeanour wasn't bad.
Maybe she could have a future in acting.
"Anastasia." Sure, guys. Last time I checked, Princess Anastasia didn't have platinum
blonde hair. To be fair, that might have something to do with all the photos being in black
and white. Still, I was pretty sure she had darker hair.
In addition to, you know, being dead for a hundred fucking years.
"I have no idea what these dunces are talking about." I blinked, and not just because
"Anastasia" spoke clear, English with no discernible accent. The girl sounded familiar.
Before she could say anything else, they moved the camera and presumably pushed her
away outside the frame.
With the girl in the back of my mind, I watched the rest of the video. It was the usual
propaganda bullshit, talking about the injustice of the Kyiv regime, the betrayal against
ethnic Russians, the Russocentric future, the lies of the west, all in broken, heavily accented
English. I might have laughed if I wasn't still thinking about the briefly shown girl.
I seeked back and rewatched the segment that had caught my eye. "I have no idea what
these dunces are talking about."
I paused the video and stared at the still image. It was a really crappy video, taken with a
phone and probably by someone who had no idea what they were doing. Compression
artifacts and a general lack of detail made it difficult to make out much. Platinum blonde
hair in a lopsided ponytail- I think, the white balance was awful. Off-white jacket with red
inside, matching skirt. I couldn't see what she had on her feet, but it wasn't tall boots.
Fix the white balance and take away the dirt and...
"No fucking way."
chapter1: You Have Got To Be Kidding Me
Ruby Rose
"Hey, Ruby," Cliff greeted, less awkwardly now that we've been talking for a while. He
dropped a package of cookies in front of me, which I immediately tore open.
"Where is it today?" I asked. Cliff knew a lot about Earth and was giving me what was
basically history lessons on all the countries. The history and geography and all the
countries and stuff was the hardest to learn because everything else was similar on Vale but
this had a lot of names and places and stuff I'd never heard before.
"Ukraine," he said simply, sitting down and stealing one of my cookies. That was the price I
paid for these lessons. But I guess he brought the cookies anyway so maybe having to sit
through history was the price to pay for cookies. But it was kind of interesting to learn about
so I guess it was okay.
"I thought you were going to talk about Vietnam today?" I asked.
He nodded. "I was."
"So... why Ukraine?"
"I'll tell you after everyone gets here," Cliff said dismissively.
"Does it have something to do with the news?" Apparently people were fighting in Ukraine
because of Russia or something like that. It was a civil war, which he had explained earlier
was a war inside a country where people fought each other. I thought the name was silly
because war isn't civil, especially on Earth.
"Something like that," he replied before starting. "What do you remember about the Soviet
Union?"
"It was like this big communist empire that was really powerful and then it collapsed
because it was actually a mess inside!" I explained, gesturing with my hands.
"Pretty much, yeah," he nodded. "And what were the countries in the Soviet Union?"
I struggled with that, because I'm not very good at remembering lots of little details and
stuff. "Um, Russia, Belarussia, Ukraine, Litviuania, and something-stan. And a couple more
I think."
Cliff nodded again. "There's a few more, yeah, but the only ones we really need to know
about for this are Russia and the Ukraine."
"Okay, we got to the part about where the Soviet Union collapsed and broke up, but I didn't
get a chance to talk about what happened after. You know Russia is still a pretty powerful
country, and it's not that bad, even though their political system is kind of screwed up, but
that's today. The nineties- that is, the 1990s- were a very rough time for the former Soviet
Union- and the Warsaw Pact, but that's more of an aside."
"Why?" I asked. "Shouldn't they have been better off with the Soviet Union gone?"
"In the long run, yes, but in the short term it was like having the government decapitated.
Even though it was a dysfunctional system, the Soviet economy was still an economy. So
now all the ties are severed, nobody knows what they're supposed to be doing, resources
aren't available where they're needed, currency's in the toilet, basically, without the central
control it's a mess. That's ignoring the fact that some of these places started having
revolutions and violent conflicts.
"Over time, it did sort itself out. There was some fighting, some economic strife, but
eventually most of these countries got out of their deep holes. Mostly by getting closer to
the West, economically and even militarily. Most of the Warsaw Pact and the Baltic states
join the European Union and NATO in the next two decades. Problem is, Russia- and Putin-
you remember Putin, right?"
I nodded.
"Right, well, Russia didn't like that. They had some idea about wanting to stay a world
power. They feel like they're being pressed by the West. Well, probably. This really starts to
be big after the Iraq War in 2003 or thereabouts. Russia's pretty much got Belarus in its
pocket, they install a pro-Russian government in the Ukraine, nope the South Ossetian
independence."
"So they're trying to be the Soviet Union again?" I asked.
"Sort of, but the problem is the world's not the same. The West has won, and for most of
these countries it's the way forward. If you want my personal opinion, Russia should have
embodied the 'if you can't beat them, join them' principle, but there are cultural differences
and such so basically it's not happening.
"Bringing the focus back to Ukraine, it's not in a good position after the fall of the Soviet
Union. Their economy took a hit and never really recovered. They didn't want to get close to
Russia, but they weren't really close to the West either. There's some controversy about
Russia rigging the elections, economic shit, I don't know the details and I was too lazy to
research them before I got here."
I suppressed a laugh at Cliff's omission. He noticed.
"Yeah, I know, I know. All this came to a head in late 2013 and early 2014. So that was just
a few months ago. In October or November 2013- I can't remember which- there's this
European trade deal which the President of Ukraine, Viktor Yanukovich- installed by the
Russians, we think- declines in favour of- surprise surprise- closer ties to Russia.
"Right away people start protesting. We call this Euromaidan, or Eurosquare, after the
central square in Kyiv where most of the protesting is happening. The government-
Yanukovich's government- cracks down, and the place starts to look like a warzone, with
barricades and shooting and molotovs in the street. Eventually, not until February of this
year though, they finally kick Yanukovich out."
"Okay, so it's over?"
"No. This effectively splits the country apart. Not just the country, but it kind of opens up
the East-West divide again. Well, sort of, I mean, most of what was the East is now the
West, but basically this has been the most tense we've been since the end of the Cold War.
The West is saying Yanukovich was abusing his power, he was removed legitimately, Russia
is putting pressure on the Ukraine and the future is with the West. Russia is saying
Yanukovich was legitimate, he was removed illegally, the West is putting pressure on the
Ukraine and the future is with Russia. With me so far?"
"Sort of." That was a lot to take in. Finally, I added. "What do you think?"
Cliff took a deep breath. "Given Russia's track record in recent years, I think Ukraine is
better off siding with the West. But both sides are pushing their own interests and it's not a
black and white issue.
"Anyway, after getting rid of Yanukovich, the new disorganized and ineffective government
has a new problem to deal with. Ukraine is divided. Most of the country, West and Central
Ukraine, is with the new government, more or less Western-aligned. There's some pro-
Russian protestors. But there's two real problem areas. Crimea and Eastern Ukraine. These
are places that are mostly ethnically Russian, speak Russian, and in the case of Crimea it
was part of Russia until the forties, maybe the fifties.
"There's fighting in both places, pro-Russian rebels taking out the local government. Crimea
is really bad, because the Russian have a presence there and unofficially, their troops start
fighting too. It's a little peninsula with access to the Black Sea, so it's maybe strategic.
Anyway, pretty soon the Russians have the place, they run a referendum of dubious
legitimacy, and Crimea is now part of Russia in a shocking display of violating Ukraine's
sovereignty. That was April."
"Why didn't that start a war?" I asked.
"Officially, they're merely protecting themselves, the more aggressive actions taken by local
protestors. Officially. Nobody was going to come to blows with Russia over that."
I asked him to explain.
He checked his watch, blinked, and sped up. "A war is too costly and nobody's going to go
up against Russia, which is still pretty powerful, over Ukraine. The main way of dealing
with a country that's out of line is economic sanctions- blocking trade and stuff, but that
hurts the guys doing the sanctioning too. Europe needs Russia's natural gas, so they can't be
too aggressive. So Russia gets Crimea with lots of protesting. Maybe it was a power grab,
maybe they were trying to do the right thing but they didn't do it right. That's Crimea, got
it?"
I nodded.
"Spring, then summer. Fighting continuing in Donetsk- that's a city in Eastern Ukraine- with
the pro-Russian rebels wanting to separate. The Ukrainians have gotten their shit together
by the summer, and they're pushing the rebels back. But I don't think the Russians They
send some aid, some more clandestine than the rest, and the rest of the world accuses them
of basically invading Ukraine, maybe they're even sending troops in. It's not really provable
so far. Then, just a couple of weeks ago, they sign a ceasefire, maybe the Russians are
pulling out if they were there there, most of the fighting stops, but the rebels still want
autonomy."
He paused. "And now it's today. That's a pretty shitty summary, but hopefully you got
something out of it."
Wow. That was pretty complicated, and I think I only got like half of it. I asked, "So are you
going to tell me why I needed to learn all that today?"
He checked his watch again. "Wait five minutes."
"Fine," I replied, eating the last cookie.
Pretty soon, Sam and Isaac show up, and we all sit down around Ben's kitchen table, which
is too small for all of us. But there's no room in his kitchen for a bigger one.
"Okay, you'll never guess what I found on the internet today," Cliff said, finding a website
on his laptop. It was titled Laughable Donetstk Propaganda Video Featuring Princess
Anastasia and there was a big video on the page.
"It's a shitty propaganda video," Ben muttered. I guess he thought I couldn't hear him.
"I didn't know you liked Disney Princesses," Sam teased.
"First, Anastasia isn't a Disney Princess. Second, that's not why I'm showing you this."
"So you do like Disney Princesses?"
"Just shut up and watch," Cliff snapped, starting the video.
The video had two guys, one covering his face, both with military clothes and carrying
guns. They were standing in front of a damaged building. They talked about rebellion and
why they were fighting and they weren't very good at talking.
"Now we show special person who support us," the rebel with no mask said, and a girl
stepped into the frame.
"That's Weiss!" I shouted right away.
"She is Princess of Tsar." I remembered what Blake said. Heiress, actually.
"Anastasia." Anastasi-who?
"I have no idea what these dunces are talking about," Weiss said in that I-can't-believe-I-
have-to-deal-with-you-idiots tone that I used to hear a lot.
I pointed at her weapon on the screen. "Look! Myrtenaster!"
Then Weiss was pushed out of the video and the two rebels kept talking about boring stuff.
Cliff paused the video.
Sam looked at Cliff, who shrugged. "I thought it was a bit of rubble."
"Ruby, are you sure that's Weiss?" Sam asked me firmly.
"Totally super sure!" I replied, nodding eagerly. "And if she's here that means maybe Blake
and Yang are here and maybe she came looking for me and maybe there's a way back and
we need to find her and talk right away!"
They looked at each other and there was an awkward silence. Finally, Sam broke the
silence.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me."