What If: Eric and Donna Became Friends With Benefits?

Chapter 5: Most Eligible Viking

Disclaimer: All rights to That '70s Show and its characters belong to The Carsey-Werner company. I am only a fan.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been reading & reviewing! I appreciate you all. Heads up that I start to take some (slight) liberties with the S4 timeline in this chapter and the next. Personally, I cannot wait to post Chapter 6 because it's one of my favorites...

They tried to be even more careful, after that. Despite all that had gone unsaid between them, they both seemed to sense the need for heightened awareness right now, for being scrupulous in how they covered their tracks. Their friends were onto them. Their parents were onto them.

It sent them even further underground, made their affair an even more clandestine one. Nothing had ever been hotter. At least, that's how Donna felt.

Keeping this secret was like a sexy little game. It distracted her. It gave her something other than her dad's dating life to focus on.

Yeah. Bob had processed through his depression and was showering again (thankfully). Not as thankfully, he was also dating again.

It was something Donna didn't want to think about, for a myriad of reasons.

It meant her parents' marriage was really over, that they weren't getting back together like they sometimes had in the past. It meant Bob's barely filtered, misogynist comments about women's bodies and the way he expected them to serve their partners were a regular presence around the dinner table again. And it meant that Donna had to second-guess every door she walked through at home, worried she'd walk in on her Dad doing something she definitely didn't want to see with some strange lady.

But school - and Eric - was her respite from all of that.

Today was the Friday before a long weekend, and they'd talked about making up some stories and sneaking out of town to the Pinciotti's old hunting cabin. Donna figured she could swipe the keys from Bob's dresser. He'd be… otherwise distracted all weekend, anyway. She wrinkled up her nose, disgusted at the thought.

Now she turned the corner to Mr. Randall's homeroom like she did every morning. She and Eric always sat at the table in the back of the room. She had some Geometry homework to finish. Eric would probably try to copy it. She was already rolling her eyes.

But instead she was greeted by Giselle Johnson, stationed primly at the door. She had a stack of school papers next to her, and was handing one to every student as they entered the classroom.

"Morning, Donna," she said, with a sickly sweet intonation. "It's Friday. New copy of the school paper." Giselle pressed a copy of the paper into Donna's palm. They exchanged fake smiles.

"Um. Yeah. Thanks," Donna mumbled.

She'd been a writer for the school paper for the last two years, but stopped attending the weekly meetings a few weeks ago, after her mom left. Giselle was one of the co-editors, and Donna had never really liked her. There was something about her that Donna couldn't quite put her finger on.

"No problem," Giselle smirked in a way that was unsettling. "I think you're going to be very interested in this week's issue."

Donna frowned, and glanced down at the newspaper's front page. What the hell did that mean? Her stomach lurched when she realized that it was a photograph of Eric's face looking up at her - along with the headline Point Place High's Most Eligible Viking.

"Uh huh," she managed to sputter.

"Your story really put him on the map," Giselle informed her, smugly. "The ending made it seem like Eric's quite the catch."

He was. Donna's heart had started to thud.

Eric wasn't in class yet, and she sat down at their table and scanned the article quickly. It was a silly fluff piece, and whoever wrote it spelled his last name wrong - 'Foreman'. There were a few other facts about him - the clubs he participated in, a quote from his Civics teacher praising his work ethic, and a blurb about their break-up. She felt her face heating up, a blush spreading down to her neck, but she couldn't stop it. It felt like everyone in homeroom 126 had their eyes on her.

Until Eric walked in.

"Hey."

Donna looked up, flustered. Eric was sliding into the seat next to her.

"Uh. Hey." She folded up the paper and stuffed it inside her Geometry notebook. "How's it going?" she asked carefully.

He sighed dramatically. "Well Donna, I'm here for another riveting day of public education. You know how seriously I take my studies." He gave her one of her favorite looks, a mock-serious glance through his long, strangely elegant eyelashes. "So, you know." He gestured to her Geometry notebook. "Do you think I could take a gander at your math homework, there?"

"It's not - um - "

But Eric reached over and slid the notebook between them. When it fell open, the school paper fluttered out.

"What the…?" He picked it up, confused, when he saw his picture. His eyes quickly scanned the headline, and then they shot to hers. "Donna - what? Again?" he accused her, his voice hard.

"This wasn't me," she insisted quickly. She gestured across the room, at Giselle Johnson. She saw Eric and Donna looking at her, and gave Eric a flirty wave. He waved back, confused.

"Most Eligible… what?" He continued to scan the article, reading quickly.

"It's not a big deal," Donna told him. But she hoped he didn't hear the desperation in her tone. "Last year's Most Eligible Viking was Nate Winber. The captain of the chess team."

"Who?"

"Exactly. No one reads the school paper anyway," Donna continued to ramble nervously, watching him read.

"Right," Eric said.

As he flipped to the second page, she watched his expression flicker from confused, to stunned, to flattered. To arrogant. It was her least favorite flavor on him.

"Well, well, well," he drawled. "Says here that I'm a Mathlete, that I have my own car, and a job to pay for dates." He chuckled. "Guilty as charged, I guess."

He shot some finger guns, and Donna scoffed.

"Like anyone's gonna care, Eric."

"Oh, the single ladies of Point Place will care." He grinned. "The SLOPP's."

"Whatever." Donna rolled her eyes.

But he was right. They had everyone's attention. Ramona James kept trying to catch Eric's eye, not subtly. Jenny Soto was staring at him and whispering to her friend. Giselle Johnson looked at him like he was her last freaking meal. Eric might've been completely unaware of how attractive he was to other girls - a result of his low self-esteem - but Donna wasn't. She inhaled sharply, willing her last thread of control not to break.

He'd finished reading the article, and rolled up the newspaper so he could slap his palm with it, self-satisfied. "Looks like 'The Kid' is finally getting - "

"It's not a big deal, Eric - "

"Yeah. You said that already."

"Okay." She raised her eyebrows at him, hoping he could read the message in her eyes. Drop it, please.

"Okay."

They settled into an uncomfortable silence. Donna took her Geometry notebook back and pretended she was reviewing her notes, while Eric quietly scanned the article again.

And that probably would've been the end of it. If it wasn't for Leslie Canon.

"Eric?" Leslie asked, tentatively.

They both looked up, surprised Leslie had deigned to grace them with her presence. She sat across the room, at the 'popular' table with all of the other cheerleaders.

"Is that seat… taken?" The buxom blonde gestured to the empty chair next to Eric. "I just - I read the article," she gushed. "And I - well. Is that seat taken?" She cocked her head to the side and batted her eyelashes at him. Donna scoffed.

But Eric smiled.

"No. No, it's not." He moved his backpack off the extra chair. "Here, have a seat."

Leslie sat down happily. Donna rolled her eyes and turned her body away from them, hoping it looked like she was really immersed in her Geometry notes.

"It's so nice to meet you, Eric," Leslie continued, effusively.

"We, uh. Have PE together," Eric offered.

"What?" Leslie was genuinely surprised. "You're kidding me." She pushed Eric's shoulder, playfully. Flirtatiously. "Your profile in the paper says you have such a great sense of humor."

"I'm… not. But I…do."

"Eric, you're so silly," Leslie giggled. Eric grinned.

"You know what? I am silly," he agreed.

"What are you doing this weekend?" she asked. She leaned over and started to casually play with his hair as she talked.

"I… I don't know. What are you doing this weekend?" Eric's speech was stilted.

Donna wasn't going to stick around to watch this. She pushed her chair back, hard, and stood up from the table. Eric and Leslie didn't even seem to notice.

"I'm going to the bathroom, Mr. Randall," Donna called behind her as she headed out the door, but she doubted he heard her. Or cared. She doubted anyone did.

It had been a strange day for Eric Forman.

He wasn't really used to good things happening to him. As a matter of practice, in fact, they didn't. But being named Most Eligible Viking - it put an extra pep in his step, a zip in his skip. All morning long, people at school were talking about him, whispering, pointing. But for once in his life it wasn't because he'd embarrassed himself. It was for a good reason.

In English class, Kelly Tipler asked if he'd be her partner for the next group assignment. He caught Maeve White making eyes at him across the hallway. During PE, Mr. Godfrey gave him a high-five.

And in the lunchline now - just now - Susan Michaels had asked him if he was going to Jake Bradley's party tonight. He doubted Jake Bradley even knew his name, but Eric had responded coolly that he was still weighing his options for the weekend. Susan had smiled, and said she hoped to see him there. Susan Michaels!

"Okay, what is going on?" he asked the gang as he plunked his lunch tray down at their regular table. "Why are girls actually talking to me?"

"It's weird, man. Upsets the natural order," Hyde agreed. He took a hearty bite of his hamburger.

"You're telling me." Eric shook his head, truly mystified. "Susan Michaels just chatted me up in the lunchline. Girls like her don't know guys like my name."

Across the table, Donna bit into the side of her apple rather aggressively, but didn't say anything. They hadn't spoken since this morning, when she stormed out of homeroom. Eric didn't know what was wrong with her.

Jackie gasped. "Not Susie!"

Eric nodded, proudly.

"She wanted to know if I'm going to Jake Bradley's party tonight."

Jackie gasped again. "But that's only for popular people."

Eric shrugged, and opened his carton of milk.

Fez joined them. He held his bag lunch in one hand, and a scrap of paper in the other. "Eric, this is for you," he said, sounding a little disappointed.

Eric unfurled it - it was Denise Richards' phone number. She'd dotted her I's with little hearts.

"I got excited when Denise talked to me," Fez explained as he sat down next to Eric. "But it turned out to be another woman, throwing herself at you." He scowled, and glared at Donna. "How can Fez be Most Eligible Viking?"

Donna scowled, too. "Why is everyone looking at me?"

"Because you're on the paper," Hyde said.

"Not anymore," she said, darkly.

Eric frowned. Since when?

Before he could say anything, though, Kelso made a smacking sound with his lips.

"So, Eric. Which SLOPP will it be first?" Kelso asked, jovially.

Eric glanced at Donna wearily, unsure if he should discuss something like this in front of her. One one hand, she said she didn't care but her body language and the way she'd stormed out of homeroom this morning had him suspicious. He knew he was well within the bounds of their agreement to flirt with other girls, to enjoy their attention. It just… didn't feel as good as he'd hoped it would.

Kelso continued on, seemingly unaware of the tension between the former lovers.

He nodded at the table next to them, and a brunette girl with tight braids. "Personally, I'd go with Victoria Robles." Kelso smiled. "Yeah, I've wanted to take that for a spin since she moved here from Argentina - "

"Michael!" Jackie slapped his arm, and Kelso gave a girly, overexaggerated cry.

"Damn, Jackie. I'm saying for Eric. Not me."

But Jackie was still pissed. She crossed her arms, haughtily. It seemed like there was trouble in paradise lately - even more so than usual.

"Well Donna has a date this weekend, too," Jackie changed the subject with a sniff.

Eric's heart started to thud. With who? Was she so cool with the article because she'd been playing him all along?

Donna still wouldn't look at him, but she glared at Jackie.

"I do?"

Jackie gave her a look. "You do," she told Donna. "Remember, you said I could set you up?"

"Jackie, I never said that."

"Oh, well, you don't know what you want." Jackie batted away Donna's words. "He's a hot guy," she promised. "Older, too. With a great car."

"Jackie - "

"Oh, Donna, you deserve to have some fun, too! Look at them," she hissed.

Kelso and Fez were writing out a list, ranking the girls in their class for Eric by their level of hotness.

"Barbara Manson should be way higher," Hyde pointed out, over their shoulder.

"No way," Kelso shook his head. "She's totally HFFA."

"HFFA?" Eric asked, confused.

"Hot From Far Away," Kelso explained, with a lopsided grin. "But up close, she's a total uggo." He gestured to his chin. "That acne?"

"Ah." The guys all nodded in understanding.

"Ugh. You're all pigs," Jackie interjected, angrily.

"Jackie. Eric needs to consider all his options," Kelso explained, patiently. "Something like this isn't gonna happen to him again." The guys, including Eric, all nodded.

"Whatever," Donna said. She'd stood up and grabbed her mostly empty tray. "Come on, Jackie. Let's go."

"Gladly." Jackie flounced away with her.

Eric watched her go with a heavy feeling in the center of his chest. Maybe she really didn't care, he thought. He'd guessed she'd told him that enough times. Maybe he ought to finally believe her.

He cleared his throat, and returned to Kelso's scribblings.

"Alright," he clapped his hands together. "Who are my Top 5?" He smiled conspiratorially. "'The Kid' is ready for a weekend of action."

The rest of the school day passed in a blur - a rare gift for a Friday afternoon.

Donna couldn't focus on anything in her classes. She was sure she bombed another Chemistry test. Not like it mattered. Nothing really mattered.

When the final bell rang at 3 o'clock, she headed to her locker on autopilot to gather her coat, and then headed to the back parking lot to meet her friends. Eric and Hyde parked near the East doors every day. The gang always gathered there after school before driving over to Eric's basement. Today, Donna would ride home with Hyde. She didn't want to hear about any more of this 'Most Eligible Viking' shit.

She was the first one to arrive at the cars, and she pulled her wool coat tighter around herself while she waited for everyone.

Jackie and Kelso appeared next. Jackie was tugging on the collar of his jacket naggingly, and Kelso was groaning and stomping his feet like an irritated toddler. They were quickly joined by Hyde and Fez, who came tearing out of the same doors chasing and hitting one another with their rolled up copies of the school newspaper.

"Where is Mr. 'Most Eligible Viking' himself?" Hyde wondered aloud, after doing a quick scan of the group.

Donna shrugged. "Dunno."

Kelso grinned. "Do you think he's actually talking to a girl?"

A look must've flickered across Donna's face. Hyde seemed to catch it. He shook his head. "Nah. Probably Mathlete business. Very important."

But a few seconds later, Fez pointed across the parking lot. "Look!"

Two people were approaching them - Eric, and a bubbly brunette girl from his last period class. Emily? Elise? She had her arm wrapped very comfortably around his waist. Donna's stomach lurched unpleasantly.

"Oh hey there, friends." Eric's grin was a mile wide as they approached. "Do you all know Emily?" She grinned and waved shyly.

"Yeah," Kelso nodded. "We were lab partners last year."

Emily nodded, meekly. "I remember. You burned down the table," she said quietly.

Kelso chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah, that was me." He shook his head, at the apparently fond memory. "So how are things?"

"Good." She smiled at Eric.

Eric cleared his throat, "Yeah, so, I'm gonna be giving Emily a ride home."

"But how will we get home?" Fez blinked at him, confused.

"You'll have to find a different way, Fez. I'm, uh. I'm taking Emily home."

"Well how long will that take?"

Eric and Emily looked at each other and started to giggle.

Donna's stomach lurched again. "I'm gonna - I just, uh," she fumbled over her words. Why was she suddenly sweating? "I need to go back inside. I - I forgot something…"

"Hurry up, Donna!" Kelso yelled spastically. He and Fez were already climbing into the El Camino's flatbed.

"I - yeah. Just one second - " Her face was hot and her eyes burned with tears, and Donna turned away from everyone, hoping they didn't notice.

"Donna, wait."

Eric called out to her when she was almost at the doors. She stopped, but she didn't trust herself to turn around.

"Hey." His voice was soft. Suddenly, he was right next to her. He touched her arm. "Is this, um. You know. Is this okay? Cuz if it's not, I'll - "

She inhaled sharply, fighting down a wave of nausea. But she couldn't let him see how upset she was.

Cool girl, she reminded herself, taking a deep, steadying breath. You're the cool girl.

"It's fine," she assured him, casually. She shrugged. "This is the deal, you know?" She cleared her throat. "We're friends, Eric. Just friends."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know." Was she imagining it, or did he sound a little disappointed?

She patted him on the arm, with measured control. "Have fun," she fought to keep her voice even. "I just - I have to go get my, um - I forgot my…" she trailed off.

"You are seriously the coolest girl, ever," his voice was low, awe-struck. "You know that?"

She gave a lackluster smile, and brushed him off. "Eric, it's nothing - "

"No, I mean it. You're so cool to be okay w- "

"Um, I - I really have to go. And get my…um…" she trailed off, unable to complete her sentence.

"Okay."

"Alright."

"Eric!" It was Emily. She called to him from the front seat of the Vista Cruiser. "Let's put on some music!"

Eric grinned, and headed back towards his car. "Great idea, m'lady - "

Donna's nausea came to a peak at his use of that pet name - her pet name - and now she shoved through the heavy, metallic doors back into the school. She sprinted down the long, empty hallway, and didn't stop until she got to the Girls restroom.

She flung herself inside a stall and got sick.

A few minutes later, she stood at the sink and washed her face. She glanced at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were still wet, her skin was pale with red blotches. There was no mistaking it, she was sick. Lovesick. She blew her nose into the paper towel miserably.

The door squeaked loudly as someone else entered the washroom. Donna dabbed at her eyes hastily, but it was only Jackie.

"Oh, Donna." Jackie seemed to take one look at her, and immediately understood what was going on. She rushed forward and engulfed Donna in a hug. Jackie's uncharacteristic empathy unleashed a new torrent of tears, and Donna buried her face in her shorter friend's shoulder, full-on crying now.

"I'm working really hard at not saying 'I told you so'," Jackie informed her. But she rocked Donna gently, almost lovingly, as she spoke.

Donna chuckled. "Uh huh. Good job."

"Someone always has real feelings," Jackie said, softly.

"I guess you and Cosmo were right," Donna sighed. "I just didn't expect it to be me."