Before he met Meg, Hercules would've been too uncomfortable in an Aphrodite spa to really enjoy anything there. Hero business required toughness and living without many luxuries. Or at least Phil's method did because he didn't want to provide anything nice.
Cherubs flew around, and Eros, as opposed to Cupid, was in charge. He was bright-eyed and active, flitting around the spa environment to ensure every treatment was going well.
Hera sat up from a chair with Demeter and Hestia on either side of her. "Hercules! I didn't think this sort of place would appeal to you!"
He'd so rarely been this close to his mother that Hercules was suddenly embarrassed to admit why he was there. If he lived with his mother full time, he might not have felt so awkward talking about girls, but now that he was right in front of her, all he could say was, "It's… not about me…"
"I'm showing him the place so he'll be ready for a couples' treatment with his new little girlfriend!" Aphrodite announced.
"Girlfriend?" Hera repeated.
"How lovely!" Demeter exclaimed.
"Has anyone baked them a cake yet?" asked Hestia.
"Nobody has, but if a cake will help her forgive me, I'll be grateful," said Hercules.
"What would she have to forgive you for?" Hera asked. She was close to twice the height of Hercules, so she had to crouch down to address him properly.
"Well…" Hercules bowed his head. He felt dumber every time he explained his blunder. "I helped rescue her city from a war, so her father wanted to offer to me in gratitude."
His mother and aunties had been excited and leaned in for the first half of the sentence, but the second one clicked something in their minds. They all started to nod and shared knowing glances when they realized what must have happened.
"You said no, didn't you?" Hera asked.
Though he intended to answer, all that he actually did was cover his face in his hands.
"Oh, Hera, your poor baby…" Demeter rubbed his back.
"I'm going to make you a cake just for yourself so you feel better," Hestia told him.
"What flavor of cake is best for grief after a big mistake?" Demeter asked.
"Fig, definitely."
"Hold that thought, girls." Hera took Hercules's hands. "Do you love this girl?"
"Yes!"
"Does she love you?"
"She used to… I don't know if she does anymore…"
"Why shouldn't she?" Hestia asked. "You're a fine young man. I'm sure all the girls your age think you're great!"
"Well…" Hercules looked over his shoulder at Aphrodite, who would know better than anyone. "No, actually. I was actually really lucky to meet this girl. I can't lose her, Mother, she's so important to me… She's brave, funny, and clever. On top of that, she has been through so much, but she's still fighting. You should've seen how terrible her family life was before this war happened. I found her with bruises all over her face and neck after she went home."
"But then you left her in that situation?" Hera prompted.
It was such a vile thing to recognize it turned his stomach, but Hercules admitted to it with a heavy sigh. "I thought if I had to refuse payment for all heroic deeds, that meant her, too. That didn't mean I wanted to stop dating her or anything! Not at all! But by then, I'd already embarrassed her and broken her heart."
"Yep! And now it's gotta get un-broken before she becomes a bitter little husk of herself," Aphrodite said. "C'mon, lover boy, we're takin' you on the express tour, then we'll collect the little lady and treat her to whatever ya think she'll like!"
"Oh, let me help!" Hera exclaimed. "I almost never get to do any mother-son activities. And his aunties can surely join in!"
"Um… uh-huh, yep! But don't slow us down, ladies. We got a major repair job in the works, and every minute counts!"
"That's why all of us have to help!" Hestia declared.
They swept Hercules through a chamber where the air was thick with the scent of roses and other flowers Hercules didn't know the names of. Water streamed down in a gentle flow from a fountain shaped like an open scallop shell with a pearl at the center into a bath full of these flowers. The only lights were provided by the tiny oil lamps arranged in niches along the walls.
"This is one of the best places for couples to chat and reconnect in a peaceful environment," Aphrodite said. "Obviously, I'm putting you two in there."
"Okay," Hercules said and noticed a set of linen bathing outfits that were waiting for them.
The girls' costume had a twisted bit of linen to cover the chest. He could imagine Megara in that, but he wished his mother wasn't standing right there to watch him. It was embarrassing enough that he'd noticed it. Now, he had to worry that Hera would make a comment.
Aphrodite whisked them into another chamber before that could happen. "And this is the wine bath," she said, showing them that this one came with a pair of wine cups that were painted with scenes of lovers entwined.
Hercules gulped.
"I think he might be too young for this one," Hera said.
"Do you think you're too young for it?" Aphrodite asked Hercules.
"I dunno… I'd… have to ask Meg…"
"And what do you think of this place?" Aphrodite opened another door to a small garden loaded with sculptures. Music seemed to flow from an unknown source.
It was so peaceful that Hercules thought he might lose touch with his anxieties here. Of the three places he'd seen before, it was the least likely to make him screw up and say something stupid. Then again, he was so good at screwing things up with things he said that there may be no setting that was safe.
"He should start here," Hera said. "If this girl is struggling with her feelings for him, she will not feel pressured when she's here."
"Agreed," Hestia said. "Though I liked the room with all the oil lamps, really cozy!"
"Out here, the flowers will energize them, but gently."
"Thanks," Hercules said. "But what should I say to her? I feel like no apology will ever be good enough to win her trust."
"It's not about what you'll say. It's about what you'll do. "You'll have to prove to her with every action that she can depend on you. It's more difficult than saying the right pretty words."
"I really wish I'd asked you about this first," Hercules sighed. "There's a huge difference from how Father talked about this problem."
Hera's features pinched with annoyance. "Your father is not the best source of romantic inspiration, I'm afraid. I love him dearly, and as the goddess of marriage, I am proud to have maintained a relationship with him for so long, but I do most of the work. In the future, direct all further inquiries in my direction. Or at least, cease all questioning of your father. It is for the best."
"Yes, ma'am." It was a relief to hear her endorse something he was already going to do. He might even have asked her more questions had Eros not flown in.
"Mother!" Eros held out a scroll to Aphrodite. "We have been notified of an anguished declaration of love!"
"A what? Oh, no!" Aphrodite grabbed the scroll from her son and read it. "Oh! Herc! It's your girl! We gotta go pick her up!"
"My girl? Anguished declaration of love?"
"Yep! Gotta go!" Aphrodite clapped. They disappeared, then reappeared in a graveyard.
Hades had Megara trapped in tendrils of smoke, both her arms and legs restrained. She had braced herself, and her face was turned away, but that wouldn't stop an incoming fireball.
What was he supposed to do?
"Hades, what have we told you about meddling with mortals who aren't already cursed or fatally ill?" Aphrodite's voice was shrill.
Hades dropped Megara to the ground, but Hercules was there before she could land. He tucked her into his body and rolled, stopping their momentum before they hit a tombstone. "What are you doing here?" he asked, checking her for injuries.
Panting heavily, Megara pushed away from him. "I should be asking you that question!"
"Don't go too far. I've gotta keep you safe!"
"That's not your job," Megara scoffed and crawled away to hide among mausoleums.
"It kind of is because I'm still your boyfriend." Hercules crawled right after her. "I… am your boyfriend, right?"
Megara glared at him from what had been her hiding place. "I don't know. You tell me. You seem to make all the decisions."
That stung, but Hercules had expected her to be angry with him, so he didn't let her words slow him down. "Meg, it was a misunderstanding, but now I get it, and I'll never abandon you like that again!"
She remained skeptical, but Megara stopped trying to escape. "Why'd you and Aphrodite show up out of nowhere?"
Hercules crouched beside her in the hiding place she'd selected, a corner between two mausoleums so there would be stone on either side of her. Good choice. He used his body to block the way to her. "We're here because you made an anguished declaration of love. I'm… hoping it was for me?"
Megara blushed and turned her face into the shadows.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm in love with you, too." He crept closer, a hand extended so she could choose to take it. "I'm not here to gloat or make fun of you. I know how it feels, so I'd never put you through that."
She watched him for a moment with fear in her eyes, so he pushed every good feeling into his. Hopefully, it would be enough if he were patient with her.
After what seemed like eons, she took his hand.
Hercules closed his eyes in relief. "I love you, Meg… and I know I've mostly been saying it, and you're the one who's shown it with actions. But let me change that, and I'll show you it goes both ways."
"You've talked to a lot of people about this, huh?"
"Yeah, but I hope that shows how important you are to me. I know what I did was extremely stupid and that I hurt you, but we're here to make up for it. I'll spend the rest of my life apologizing if I have to, but I want you to be there so you can hear it."
"You are so pathetic," said the voice of the theater boy who'd turned archer. "Haven't you done enough damage already?"
"Get out of here!" Megara picked up a loose rock and threw it over Hercules's shoulder toward her classmate.
He dodged it and smirked. "C'mon, Meggie, your aim isn't why we get along so well."
"We're having a moment here, so…" Something switched in Hercules's mind, and storm clouds darkened his thoughts. "Why are you here?"
"I brought Megara here to talk about what was bothering her so much," the guy said. What had his name been? It was one of those occupational names meaning fisherman or carpenter or hunter, right? "She was crying at school."
"Was not!"
"She was really such a sorry sight that we all felt bad for her, and then she told us her boyfriend had ditched her after the war. Never thought you'd come back here and rub salt in the wounds."
"You're the one doing that right now," Hercules remarked. "I suggest you get out of here."
"Theron's working with Hades," Megara said. "He dragged me here, and I thought he was going to violate me, but then he tried to sell me out to Hades to work against you. When I wouldn't turn on you, he was going to kill me. Theron seems to have thought it was all a joke."
"Is that so?"
Hercules hated Hades, but he was immortal. He hated Adonis, but he'd never done anything that he could kill him for. But there was nothing in the hero rules about not killing someone who tried to violate or kill your girlfriend.
"She's always so dramatic," Theron said, rolling his eyes.
"She's not a liar, though," Hercules got up. He wasn't as broad-shouldered as Adonis, but he could menace with the greats when he wanted to.
And he wanted to.
"What do you think you're doing, twerp?" Theron demanded. "Hades and I have a deal. He'll bring me back any time someone hurts me. Fighting me would be pointless."
Hercules smiled. "I disagree. If you'll come back from this, there's no need to feel guilty."
The fear showed in Theron's eyes the split second before the first punch, and then the guy's lights were out as he flew so high into the sky that Hercules lost track of him. Where he'd land, nobody knew, but Hercules had already lost interest.
Megara came tiptoeing out of her hiding place. "I'm willing to call that two for two, but you've still got a penalty."
Hercules offered her his elbow. "Let's catch up with Aphrodite and see what we can do about that."