Karry Universe
Disclaimer: You know, after over 80 chapters I can clear this. I OWN NOTHING!
note: this is a surprise Thursday chapter. I am not going back to two times a week permanently but felt this one should be on Thursday. Next update on Monday like normal
Finding Peace
Eliza took a breath as she was in the elevator. She almost couldn't believe she was going to see her foster daughter for this reason. She had never wanted to bring this up with Kara, but with Zor's return and Jeremiah's words the other day, she felt she needed to get some things off her chest.
Walking out of the elevator, she was surprised to see a full and hectic house. She recognized Connor and Carter talking on one side, Zor was there having a conversation with Henry and Barry, who had one of the girls. Out from a side room came Kara, talking and smiling to Cat Grant who was holding one of the other girls – this last sight caused the bottom of Eliza's stomach to drop. Cat was more of a mother to Kara than she had been. She steeled herself though as she moved forward.
"She wants to be put on the floor," Kara said to Cat, seeing her girl kick and then noticing Eliza. "Eliza, I didn't know you were coming over."
"I just thought I'd drop by," Eliza started, "I didn't know you would have so many people over?"
"Neither did we. Things got… wild," Kara said with a smile.
"Well, we'll make things a little easier. We need to get going anyway," Henry spoke up, hugging Barry and kissing the girl in Barry's arm as Cat handed over the girl she was carrying to Kara.
"You know I always wish I had a girl," Cat said, rubbing the child's back, Eliza biting her tongue at this comment. "I am very happy I get to spend more time with yours." Cat smiled as Henry came over and put an arm around her. "Are you coming over tonight?"
"If you don't mind?" Henry said.
"Not at all," Cat said. "Carter," Cat called over, interrupting Carter and Connor's conversation. Carter was excited to have a friend who was a boy, since all his before Connor were girls. He had taken it upon himself to teach Connor anything human he didn't know due to how he was created. Much like Karen when this superfamily had all started. "We're going."
"See you around Connor," Carter said, getting up. "Thanks for the pizza night Kara."
"My pleasure," Kara said as the group headed towards the elevator.
"See you tomorrow at Joe's," Henry said with a smile to Eliza. As Henry and Eliza were still technically living with Joe, and neither of them were in any hurry to move out and Joe was not in any hurry to have them leave, they saw each other about the house a lot.
"There should be some pizza left," Cat told Eliza. "If you want to take a chance on the toppings they chose." Eliza almost had to laugh at this as the group got into the elevator and they heard Cat asking: "Why do you still live with Joe…?"
"We should go too. This pizza was an interesting food," Zor said, hugging Kara and then saying something in Kryptonese which Kara responded to back in kind. "Bye Barry." Zor then kissed both girls before putting a hand on Connor's back, who gave them a nod. They had to wait for the elevator to come back up before they too were gone.
"Cat is so going to be your grandma soon," Kara said with a smile, talking to the girls who the couple put into a specialty made playpen that Cisco had made for the little speedsters.
Again, that feeling in the pit of her stomach rose. It did seem inevitable that Cat and Henry would tie the knot, but even hearing another woman becoming these girl's grandmother... It was stupid as Cat would take the place of Nora, Barry mother, not herself, but even so there was an annoyance to this statement that just made the meaning behind her visit even more urgent.
"I don't know if you would say soon," Barry had responded, and Eliza saw the looks on their faces as Kara turned to Barry. They were talking in their heads. She knew that look. "Okay so maybe Cat will be grandma soon." Barry corrected comically, but then smiled. "My dad is happy."
"Yeah," Kara said with a nod and also a smile. It was good to see her father-in-law so happy. "So, Eliza what's up?"
"I just… I need to talk to you," Eliza said, and Kara nodded. "I would say alone but I know that's not really possible."
"This seems serious," Kara said cautiously, unsure as Barry distracted himself with the girls, pulling funny faces. Kara sat on the couch and tapped the spot next to her, telling Eliza to sit there. Eliza sat. "What's on your mind?"
"It's just… I finally visited Jeremiah the other day," Eliza breathed, thinking this was the best place to start.
"The clone?" Kara asked with interest, and Eliza nodded. "Why did you go visiting him?" The clone had not entered Kara's mind for a while. The last she heard, he was going to be in the asylum forever and his mind was peacefully stuck in the past from a time long before Kara had met the real Jeremiah or even Clark. Occasionally, Hyde showed up and got violent, but with no memories of them he had no mission anymore. Alex had visited the place and the man every so often, she knew, more so as a DEO check-over than any emotional attachment, but knew from her that Eliza had never visited. She thought Eliza had never been interested in visiting her fake husband.
"Well, it's really because of something I have been mulling over recently, and if Zor hadn't returned this might not have come up but, well… and don't get me wrong, I am so happy you got your father back, but I can't help but think of your reaction to Jeremiah. Maybe it was Alex's reaction to Zor that kick started it, but I've been thinking for a…"
"Wait what?" Kara interrupted, clearly confused as she cut off her foster mother. "Alex had a reaction to dad?"
Eliza sighed, realizing she had let Kara in on some information they were keeping from her. "She was hurting. She didn't want to seem jealous, but she had her father back for a day to find out he was fake… well, maybe 'ruined' could be the term, given clones these days are well, real to us all. Anyway, you got your father back and he was healthy and happy. She didn't want you to feel bad for something out of your control, because she knew how much this meant to you…" Eliza put a hand on Kara's knee. "And I don't want you to feel bad either, but the way you reacted to him… My husband."
"He was fake," Kara said.
"But you didn't know that," Eliza countered. "And you rejected him. When Astra came back, I accepted her. She and I have chats every so often and she's a wonderful woman. And I adore Karen. Connor and Zor seem great too. The point is, we went out of the way for them, Alex and I, but the way you reacted to Jeremiah… He did so much for you when you showed up. I know you didn't ask for it, but he died for you."
"I have never denied Jeremiah did a lot for me. I am thankful, but there is so much difference between my family and this," Kara said, getting up feeling calming emotions from Barry but she gave him a look and he stopped, knowing she did not need to be calmed.
"What's the difference?" Eliza asked, folding her arms now. "Please… Make me understand."
"He tried to be my father," Kara said. "He tried to take a place in my life that he could not fill, and expected me to be okay with it. He tried to tell me to not be who I truly was. He thought he knew what was best for me, when he did not know me. None of my family tried to do that to you or Alex. I love you Eliza. I was happy for you and Alex, but I couldn't let him think he was my father. He was not. And you should understand that he crossed a line, even when I thought he was really Jeremiah."
"I know he crossed a line." This had been one of the reasons it had taken her so long to visit the asylum – the clone, Jeremiah, Hyde… whomever, had tried to kill Alura and Nora, not to mention Krypto and that had left a scar, even for Eliza. "I understand that, trust me I do, but it also leads me to other thoughts. Thoughts I've had for a long time, but never wanted to address… I know you love me, I know I shouldn't even try to take the place of your real mother, but do you even think of me as a mom?"
"What?" Kara asked, taken aback at the question.
"You want me to be the girl's grandma, and god I love them and I truly think of them as my granddaughters, but do you think of me as a mom?" Eliza asked, leaning forward in her seat now. "Did I ever act as a mom to you? Because I loved you since the moment Clark dropped you off, but I can't remember ever being a mother – at least, not in the same way I was to Alex. All I knew how to do for you, after all you lost, was love you. But thinking about it, Alex and Barry helped adjust you to Earth more than I ever tried. That should have been my job, but after losing Jeremiah, I didn't know what to do. I spiraled out of control and told Alex to protect you and she did… but what did I do?" It had been another thought since her little 'chat' with Jeremiah in the asylum. At first, she had met herself with resentful thoughts of Kara never truly loving her like a foster mother could want, but when she had lost Jeremiah… a lot of her life after had been blank. She had gone through the motions for at least two years after news of his death and two years was a long time for a girl adapting to life on another planet, with powers and learning a new language. What had she done?
"I don't know how to answer that," Kara said truthfully, shaking her head. "I don't know why you're telling me all this. Eliza, you took me in and I am thankful for that. I love you like family and want you to be the girls Nana, I do. But if you're asking me if you replaced Alura, my mom, I can't say you did."
"I never wanted to replace her, but even so, can you say over all your other mother figures on Earth you've since gained, you'd come to me first?" Eliza asked, and Kara gave her a confused look. "Astra, Cat… even Lois can be considered mother figures for you. Who would you go to first, if you needed a mom to cry to or… I don't know, ask for advice?"
"That's not fair," Kara said, taking a step back and shaking her head, not wanting to answer.
"Please Kara. I know I shouldn't ask this but I have to know… Astra, Cat, Lois or myself?" Her heart was pounding now and she wondered if Kara could hear it. This had been another thought in the clouds of wonder she had since her visit with Jeremiah. Kara had everything – she may not have her real mom, but she had plenty of replacements. Did she even need Eliza?
"Aunt Astra is my aunt. She helped raised me on Krypton. She's special," Kara said slowly.
"Okay… You're right, that was unfair." Eliza said, suddenly understanding how Astra could be so special to Kara. "She's your number one mother here on Earth, even if she's your Aunt. She's the closest thing to Krypton and even your real mom." She didn't want to use Alura's name now, for a sense that it would seem dismissive and rude. "But what about the other three?"
"Lois is my cousin-in-law," Kara said. "She's not a mother. I don't know where people get that." She felt a thought from Barry and turned to look at him.
You two are really close, Barry thought. And she did raise a version of you on New Justice.
New Justice, yeah, but not here, Kara responded, still confused by this.
"What about Cat?" Eliza asked, wanting to get to the real issue that bothered her, not realizing this time that Kara and Barry were talking in their heads. "You just really seemed excited at the idea of her being a grandmother."
"Eliza you're asking me to rate my family," Kara turned back to the woman, a little defensive now. "And you can't do that. I love you Eliza. I do. I want you here. I want you in my girl's life, but you're asking me to do the impossible. Astra is my Kryptonian family. The closest thing I have to my biological mom. Lois is like a big sister, really. Cat is a mentor who gives great advice without even trying. She just has this way of inspiring, and yes, sometimes I feel like she's a mother figure and I want her to be there for my girls because of who she is. But when she and Henry inevitably marry, she'd be a grandmother to my girls from a side of the family that's lacking that – Barry's side, not mine. You are who I needed when I got here, if that's the answer you're looking for. You're someone who would love me unconditionally, but not try to be too motherly. I don't know if that makes you feel better, but the best mothering you could have done for me was what you did when I showed up. If you had done more, I would not have been ready for someone to try to take mom's place and resented you – which I don't. Please, just drop this."
"You're right," Eliza said, deciding not to address the Lois-as-a-big-sister comment when Kara also had Alex. People could have more than one big sister, after all and it wasn't her prerogative to address any of Alex's issues. Regardless, she brought Kara into a hug. While she didn't know if Kara would ever come to her for advice, she knew she was the mother Kara needed, even if she didn't realize it. "I shouldn't have brought this up with you. My mind was wandering, and I thought with everyone now in your life..."
"Everyone in my life?" Kara now asked, pulling out of the hug.
"You… you seem to have everything. A husband, children, a huge superfamily…" she didn't address the business. That was just luck that the Fake Wells handed STAR Labs to Barry and together he and Kara had turned it into an enterprise. She admired Kara and Barry for that one.
"As do you," Kara responded carefully. "Okay, you may not have a husband, not really and not anymore, but you have me, you do, and Alex – even Sara and Barry. Not to mention you are part of this superfamily, even if you doubt it," Kara's words were calming – maybe a lot of this was just in her head? Without a purpose in her life, like Jeremiah had said, she couldn't find peace or distract herself.
"I'm sorry," Eliza smiled, and Kara nodded, even if she didn't completely understand Eliza's train of thought. Eliza turned around to where Barry was still playing with the girls though, seeing the twins were having fun with their powers – testing their Cisco-enhanced toys and playing with their dad. Krypto had jumped into the playpen, and one of the girls was holding onto him. The new cat, Hex, was sitting on the counter staring at it all. She smiled at the girls. "They are really growing."
"Do you want to stay for a bit?" Kara asked cautiously. "We don't spend time…"
"No, I'm going to go," Eliza said, "I overstepped today, but maybe another time – and soon," she stated, heading for the elevators.
I think I got to talk to Alex, Kara thought to Barry as the elevator doors closed on her foster mother.
Yeah. Have fun, I'll tire the girls out and get them to bed, Barry thought. I hope!
-Superflash-
Alex and Sara were watching TV at home when they heard a noise and turned to see Kara, dressed fully in her Supergirl outfit. "Hey. Anything you need help with?" Sara asked at her appearance, quickly checking her Justice League communicator, not having gotten anything over it, but wondering if Supergirl wanted the White Canary.
"No," Kara said. "I just stopped a few small things on my way here, but Alex, I came here to talk to you about Eliza." Alex raised an eyebrow. "I just had a very weird conversation with her. About my different mother figures and Jeremiah's return." She moved over to the couch and sat on the arm as the other women looked to her in confusion. "She was questioning my reaction to the clone and it got slipped that, well, that you're not too happy my dad is back."
"Oh," Alex said as Sara raised her eyebrow and nudged her wife at this. "I wasn't, but Sara made me see… Well, I'm happy for you Kara, I genuinely am now considering your only connection to home and your family was Clark and Astra. But for the first week, every time I saw you and he was mentioned... I was just a little jealous that when my dad came back it was fake. I didn't want you to know, to upset you. But like I said, Sara made me see it was stupid." Sara nodded minutely at this.
"It seems like yesterday that is was Jeremiah that was back and I was saying I was happy for you," Kara said shaking her head, a little lost. "How are we getting ourselves into this? We're sisters. Sometimes it feels like we never talk. We never share anymore."
"You have Barry, the labs, the superhero work, and the kids. I have Sara, the job, and maybe soon kids." Kara raised an eyebrow at that. "We have our lives that separate us. And yes, Sara and I have been talking." Sara wrapped an arm around her wife at this. "We love taking care of Alura and Nora so much, it's making us want our own."
"Oh, Alex," Kara said, grinning going to hug her sister now.
"We haven't decided anything yet. It's just talk for now," Alex said quickly, hugging her sister. "But I don't want to change topic, not yet because I have to say... Kara, your father is so nice. He's thanked me for protecting you all these years. He in no way wanted to try to become my dad. I really am happy for you, but was also jealous. It was a stupid jealously I never planned on you to find out, and one you really didn't need to know about. Idiot mom…"
"Yeah, Eliza... I think she's upset, and I'm not sure I did anything to help her frame of mind. I couldn't rate my family… please, don't ask." Kara added the last but when Alex gave her a look and Sara cocked her head. "Can you to talk to her? You do have a daughterly bond."
"Don't worry, I'll find her," Alex said with a nod.
-Superflash-
It hadn't been hard to track Eliza. Alex hadn't even needed to leave her house to know where her mom was, and a bike-ride later, Alex was walking into Henry's bar, The Oasis, to find her mom at the counter with a drink in hand. One of Henry's bartenders was on the other side, Henry nowhere to be seen, as Alex sat next to her mother. "Kara sent you?" Eliza asked, staring at ahead as Alex nodded.
"What's wrong, mom?" Alex asked. She'd never seen her mother at a bar before, and not like this.
"I saw Jeremiah the other day and I've been doing a lot of thinking," Eliza said. "I think I failed as a mother. I failed you, and Kara says I was what she needed, but I was never really a mother to her. Not in the way Astra is or Cat. Just someone who let her stay in the house and loved her."
"Mom," Alex said, a little shocked. "She needed that, and you did not fail me. Not even after dad died."
"I told you to protect Kara, though," Eliza said, turning to look at Alex now. "I said she needed your protection, and then when she didn't, you developed a drinking problem. Maybe putting all that pressure on you to be her protector was too much. Instead of taking some of the responsibility myself, it drove you over when it was gone. I gave you responsibility you were too young for."
"My drinking problem was my fault. Completely my fault," Alex said, not believing the past was being dragged up like this. She had been sober for years now.
"I see the mistakes so clearly. I led you to it," Eliza said. "I failed. I failed you. I was never Kara's mother. Kara is twice the mother I am."
"Her kids are five months old," Alex said blandly. "And you're their grandmother. You have two grandkids and maybe more soon."
"Yeah I'll give Kara and Barry three year's tops. I think Barry wants a boy," Eliza said dismissively, taking a sip of her drink.
"I'll put my money on two, but I wasn't talking about them," Alex said firmly, making Eliza look at her now. She wasn't that drunk, it seemed. "Me and Sara have been talking. Nothing confirmed yet as we're still deciding ways and means, and if we're completely ready but we want kids someday and you'll have grandkids. Blood-related grandkids. More kids in your life. And you're a great grandma."
"Oh Alex," Eliza said as she grinned and hugged her daughter. "But please, do better than me, Alex. I wish I could have a do-over. As more than a grandmother, I mean. I would do better. I know now."
"For a single mother who lost her husband shortly after taking in a teenage girl who lost everything, you did great," Alex reassured Eliza who nodded but felt the words were hollow. "Me and Kara turned out good."
"Not sure I can take the credit there," Eliza said with a small smile anyway.
"Then do something for me, mom," Alex said, a thought coming to her mind now. "Think, really think, of how you can have your do-over. If it will make you feel better, will make you yourself, then it's worth it. Even if you need extra finance for it, you need to do it."
"But what?" Eliza sighed, biting her lip now.
"I don't know… but something. You obviously want to try at being a mom again, a real mom, so maybe, I don't know… foster some kids? You'd need to find a place of your own though as I'm not sure Joe would be up for it, but given Iris and Eddie aren't going to have kids of their own – from what Kara's told me – maybe it would do him good, too." Alex suggested.
"Fostering…?" Eliza cocked her head at this, Jeremiah's words to her finding her purpose echoing in her head. "That's something to consider," she smiled now, the idea having some ground in her brain.
"And mom? No more drinks. We Danvers's don't do well with alcohol," Alex smirked as she moved her mother's drink away from her reach. Eliza chuckled at this. "I'll walk you back to Joes…"
"I'll be fine," Eliza muttered.
"I shall walk you back to Joes, mom," Alex stated more firmly, Eliza chuckling as her daughter got firm with her. She got up, Alex grabbed her firmly by the arm, and they left the bar.
Post Chapter Note: This chapter has been a long time coming. A little Danvers family drama and some more Eliza and Alex as me and Sigma felt Alex and Eliza needed some love, which was a bit hard since the show made me hate them lately. Sigma did good, adding to this though as he still likes both characters, although we both unanimously hate Jeremiah, so that's something.
As usual, please REVIEW!
Next Time on Karry Universe:
Power Within: Caitlin is looking for a meta human who was born with his power. He's in the foster system and she knows finding him will change their lives- but in ways she doesn't yet suspect. Meanwhile, a surprise visitor shows up at the labs and gives Cisco a gift she thinks he needs, but he doesn't want.
Karry Master OUT!