Chapter 27 – I'm leaving England, for good.

Harry left his chair letting Sunrise down. He was ready to go for what would have been a very difficult visit.
Hermione had given the last touch to his face to make sure the incantation was going to last as long as possible and there was nothing else to be done but going to Hogwarts. The anonymity was indispensable. He couldn't run the risk to be recognised, only the thought filled him with dread.
It was already days he was hardening his mind against this task that was surely going to be challenging; Albus reminding him of Ginny in every feature and James in his endeavours to punish him for her death.
Once in front of the Hogwarts' gate he was debating on how to make his presence noticed. A Patronus was the best solution but addressing it to McGonagall there was the risk of announcing himself in front of some other people other than her and he couldn't take the chance. Pondering on how to work around the problem, he took his wand from the pocket.
He smirked as an idea was taking form, steadied his arm, concentrated every thought on the feeling of embracing his daughter again and, before he was aware, a huge silvery phoenix was shooting out from his wand in a powerful dart. Flapping energetically her long and graceful wings was soon out of sight.
Only a few days before he wouldn't have been able to cast one, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to cast any magic at all.
As he was opening to the fact that his Patronus hadn't changed shape again despite he had had strong emotions enough, the caretaker, a middle-aged man slightly limping, appeared. He told him he needed to speak with the headmistress.
'Who do I have to announce?' he asked with a gravelly voice.
'Romulus Lupin' he said stern on the outside and sniggering in the inside.
Only a few minutes later he was sitting in her office, all the portraits were looking enquiringly at him who hadn't opened his mouth, only Dumbledore had evidently recognised him as smiled and winked as soon as he went in, but they didn't exchange a word.
McGonagall stormed in the office seconds later flushed and raging madly.
'If this is a joke, it's not funny! I won't allow this lack of respect' boomed once inside.
'Who are you?' she added eyeing him suspiciously, her hand ready close to the folding of her cloak, to grasp her wand.
'It's me professor' he simply said standing up. His voice hadn't changed unlike his appearance.
'P-P-Potter?' she stammered, the colour draining fast from her face.
Harry nodded as the portraits around the room whispered excitedly, all besides Dumbledore who was still smiling serenely.
She gaped and didn't move for a second. Then her eyes filled with tears, she walked swiftly toward him and pinned him tightly in her arms.
Harry was so taken aback that for a moment stood still, stunned, incapable to move. Then, touched by this unexpected outburst of emotion from a woman usually so severe and composed, returned the hug feeling more than ever how difficult it was going to be to say goodbye to all those people who in the course of his life had showed him a sincere affection.
When McGonagall broke the hug up, she tapped her tears composedly with a handkerchief tugged from an invisible pocket in her robe.
'I'm sorry Potter' she mumbled returning to her severe self in a blink, turning around the desk and sitting on her chair only slightly sniffing, her eyes rimmed red.
The portraits in front of this excess had been brought to silence, all gawking round eyes.
'It's quite all right, professor'.
'I'm glad to see you here'
And she couldn't know how many meanings that simple sentence could hide.
'I…' she begun but she paused soon after and Harry, understanding what she wanted to convey, waved her not to proceed 'I know' he only said.
She nodded sternly, straightened, folded her hands on the desk and cleared her voice 'What can I do for you?'
'I'm here to see James and Albus'
'I see… It can be done of course. I'll give you an empty classroom where you can talk undisturbed'
'Thanks. I may as well tell you the reason.' He spoke purposefully.
A dead silence fell into the room at his words.
'I'm leaving England. For good. It's confidential and I don't wish this information to spread in the magical community.'
McGonagall startled at this piece of information while all the portraits started to buzz excitedly once again, moving from frame to frame to confabulate.
'Leave England? Whatever do you mean, Potter?'
'I cannot live here anymore. It's too stressful, I don't cope well with all this insanity around me. I need a place where I can walk around without having to resort to spells to change my face'
His affirmation was followed by a short pause, McGonagall stared hard at him, then sighed, took her wand and made appear a glass of firewisky 'One for you too Potter?'. He shook his head. She took the glass, wearily observed at it for a moment, and then took a small sip, grimacing slightly after having it gulped it down 'Perfect vintage' she murmured under her voice placing the glass down.
'May I ask where you are going?' she asked in the end turning his gaze back to him.
Harry stood up, there was a map in the room, he placed a finger on a precise spot 'As soon as I'll have a place, I will send the address, which obviously must remain secret'
McGonagall's eyes lingered on the map while he was getting back to his chair 'Quite far afield' she muttered 'Very far afield' she repeated.
'There are no wizards or witches living there' Harry said as an explanation.
She then looked at Dumbledore who was the only one not joining the whispering amid frames 'What do you think, Albus?'
'Go head my boy' he said encouragingly addressing Harry 'I've always knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Alas, popularity means only loneliness in your case'
'Yes, but about the kids?' she asked frowny turning from one to other.
'I'll ask them what they prefer to do' Harry explained tranquil 'If they want to come with me, I'll tutor them, and they may come here just for exams. But I won't force them to. If they prefer to attend Hogwarts, it's fine by me. And I'm inclined to think that this is what is going to happen' and concluded trying to hide a flicker of uneasiness 'At least in regards of James'
'From what I can gather hanging here, I'm afraid it would be better for him to follow you' Dumbledore affirmed looking meaningfully at Harry through his half-moon spectacles.
McGonagall, hearing this, nodded and turned his attention back to Harry 'I'm sorry to give you bad tidings Potter, I avoided any letter not to add to your afflictions, but James…' she cleared her voice usure how to proceed, took another sip of her drink, grimaced and looked back at him purposedly 'I believe he is taking a bad turn. His marks are dropping drastically, and he is starting to be much more rebellious and ungovernable. I tried repeatedly to talk to him but to no avail. He turned a deaf ear. I'm not sure Hogwarts is really benefitting him. Other students adore him for your sake, and this is making him boastful and disrespectful of rules. Since the accident, the situation has degenerated' she concluded somehow with a lower tone.
Harry sighed sitting back on his chair rubbing his face, his gaze drifting from them 'I can hardly force him away…' he muttered after a while 'He is almost of age. He is old enough to decide for himself'
'He may want to come' McGonagall said hopeful bringing back his attention 'You are his father after all. And he had always looked up to you'
Harry smiled bitterly 'It's years he is not looking up to me. He will never agree to come with me'
A silence settled down on them. Despite what McGonagall had just said, they both knew how things really stood, even the portraits had stopped whispering, and they were all looking concernedly at them. Phineas Nigellus was nodding severely to Harry's last sentence.
Only Dumbledore had retained his serene demeanour 'You know, my boy' he said in the end 'Often what it looks like and what really is, are quite different' He paused and scratched his nose 'totally different I may say' he added. Another pause followed in which both Harry and McGonagall looked at him enquiringly, he smiled 'Who knows this truth better than yourself?'