Born This Way
Love yourself, because beauty comes from the inside out
Even if he'd said so himself, Sam knew he was never viewed as an ugly baby, he remembered being cute when he was about 4 years old, his Aunt Jen always referred to him as a looker who was going to break girls hearts and he'd built his confidence around that, his mom drummed into his head he was a handsome young man and he believed it. Suddenly he was in big school, craters all over his face, arms that couldn't fit into tops that were his chest size, and to top it all, older kids calling him names like dork, trouty, dweebe, making comments about his large hands and fake hair, and his thick lips, his confidence was shot.
To add to the insults, he'd just this minute been told he was dyslexic, and although he didn't know exactly what that meant right now, one thing he knew for sure, was that people were about to reach another level on the piss take they were doing on him right now. He slammed his locker shut and hissed the word "Dyslexic" swinging round and bumping into someone "Sorry" he bent to grab the books he'd knocked out of their hand "Oh" he stood up smiling
"Sam" Kurt smiled at him "Are you still on the fence about joining our group?"
"Not now Kurt, I've got shit on my mind" he pushed the books in Kurt's hand and walked away
"We're here if you need us" Kurt shouted after him "And by god it looks like you do" his whispered under his breath
"I don't" he turned to respond to what Kurt had said
"Boy you do" Kurt answered knowing this time he couldn't hear him
Sam's Flashback
Sam was the new guy at school, having moved to the area during the summer, of all the schools to be thrown into he managed to get himself into the one that, on paper, cared the least about kids. He'd been mad most of the summer about moving to the dead end town, leaving everything he knew, even though it was all his fault, and he knew it. He'd been t a terrible teenager, fighting anyone that had a bad word to say about him, disruptive in class because he couldn't even understand half of what was being said, and to top it all he felt no one was taking the time to make him understand, resulting in him cussing out the teachers.
The fourth school he'd attended wasn't as lenient as the first, but now, after a term of home-schooling, that wasn't working out too well, his parents opted to move out of state, calling it a fresh start. He'd been happy to leave for all the rejection he'd suffered but as they drove through the busy town and left it some 10 miles behind he was pissed
"What are we going to do all the way out here?" he asked his dad who seemed to be getting excited the further away from civilisation they drove
"Water, fresh air, opens space, it'll be great" his dad smiled at him through the rear view mirror
"But what's there to do?"
"We're not far from the bridge to nowhere, great for bungie jumping" his mom turned to tell him
"So, I can bungie jump?"
"When you're old enough" she frowned
"So, there's nothing to do?"
"School Sam, we got you into a school, just think yourself lucky" his dad snapped "This whole thing is because of you"
"Dwight" his mom hissed at his dad; Sam didn't have anything to say about that little fact
End Of Flashback
That was the first and last time he'd had a conversation with his parents about the move that he had instigated, he'd suddenly understood that his parents had given up everything for him to get an education, and he'd made up his mind he was going to try his best not to let them down. The school was crap for sure, the only thing good about it was there was no stupid uniform to wear, but the teachers there were the first ones to ever have a conversation with him about his learning, understand how difficult he found it and explained what they could do to help him. So, yeah at this minute he felt like crap, but somehow the place had made him feel like worthwhile crap.
He'd noticed Kurt and his friends from day one at the school, mainly because they seemed to be the butt of everyone's jokes, and during the first week he'd quickly learned that when they weren't bullying on them, they were trying it with him. He'd expected it as the new kid, but he couldn't help but smile at the way Kurt and his friends had learned to deal with it all, they'd somehow manoeuvre themselves around the popular kids, kept out the way of the most physical kids, and had almost become invisible in the dinner hall, they had their own no action defence down to a tee.
Just like he watched them fend off the bullies he assumed they could see him was struggling with it all, every 16 year old struggled with something, but their group were different, they were making a quiet noise, refusing to be labelled as nerds, sad sacks or even losers. That was one thing they seemed to know they weren't it was as if inside, they had more ambition in their little fingers than the whole damn school put together.
"Sam" Miss Fabray smiled at him as his head popped round the classroom door "Come and take this seat" he didn't say anything he sat in the seat at the front of the class, if that wasn't telling everyone he had a problem, he didn't know what did
"Blind?" a guy in his class asked
"He just doesn't want to listen to you talking all through the lesson" Tina shouted across the room
"Shut up twang" the boy replied
"It's Cohen Chang idiot" she hissed at him
"Come on quieten down" Miss Fabray told them, placing a book on the desk in front of Sam
"Not obvious" he rolled his eyes and opened it before sitting through a painful lesson, the second he'd been labelled everything had changed
"Sam" Tina called to him as they left class
"Tina" he turned to pay her attention
"Kurt said he was going to have a word with you about joining us, have you thought anymore about it?"
"I haven't" he smiled "But now you've mentioned it I'll give it some thought"
"Thanks" she smiled hugging her books "No pressure" she grinned before walking in the opposite direction
"None at all" his face reddened at the vision that was stood three people away in front of him
"Hi" she smiled walking past him hugging her books, his mouth suddenly so dry he was panicking he might die of dry mouthedness, he could only answer in his mind, he was dumb struck, he rolled his eyes and hoped he was smiling enough to let her know he wasn't totally ignoring her
"What the hell?" he asked himself when water came rushing back into his mouth and blood started pumping around his body again "You got it bad" he threw his bag over his shoulder, put his earphones on and made his way to the next class
"Get those off Evans" a teacher stepped in front of him shouting "And move out the way" he pointed at the cart full of balls speeding through the corridor "That's the reason we don't walk around with earphones in"
"Sorry Sir" he smiled shoving them back in his pocket
Lunchtime was just more time for him to remember what he'd left behind, how he was trying to be someone he wasn't, and be in love for the first time, all at the same time. He sat eating his sandwich watching Kurt and his friends laughing at people around the food hall, taking insults as if they really didn't care, he even heard Kurt say thank you after someone threw chips at him. He sat wishing he could be more like that, not take things to heart so much, just curl up in a ball, instead of trying so hard to forget his promise to his parents and rock the hell out of these country folks perfect little school.
The popular kids were getting rowdy again, this was becoming a bit of a thing at lunch times, they'd run around causing havoc and it seemed the teachers turned a blind eye for a few minutes and then just ordered everyone to clean up, he wasn't into cleaning anyone's mess, not even his own, so he took his leave "This will do" he snuck into one of the small music rooms and sat on a table.
Finishing his meal, he took to walking around the room trying his hand at some of the instruments, his family were musical, so they weren't alien to him, he finally settled for a half descent guitar and sat strumming until a song came into his head, he found it on his phone and put his earphones in, strumming and singing one of his favourite songs of the week
Got somebody, she is a beauty, very special, really and truly, takes good care of me like it's her duty
Want you right by my side, night, and day..
"Sorry" he'd frozen at seeing his crush sat on a chair smiling at him, stopping him in mid-word "I didn't mean to…" she pointed at the door "I just heard you singing and well" she chuckled "I had to stop and listen"
"Mmm" he made a sound, he raised an eyebrow thinking that was progress, but it wasn't where he wanted to be "My family are musical" he didn't hear if she said anything for a while he was analysing how ridiculous his reply to her was, he could see her lips moving so he knew she was saying something, he studied them for a second and hoped he'd butted in at the right time
"Sam, yeah" he fiddled with the guitar strings nervously
"I thought it was" she smiled "Kurt's been giving you rave reviews; he swears you need to be in our group"
"Yeah" he coughed still nervous, his mind willing him to say something else before he lost her attention "He's asked a few times" was all he could find, he smiled nodding to himself, trying to push confidence out of his pores, proud that he'd spoken, which meant he was getting better at it
"Why won't you come to be in bed with us?"
"Pardon?" he looked up shocked, his face red with embarrassment "Sorry what did you say?"
"The band, you should come be in the band with us"
"Oh" he smiled sheepishly, wondering where his mind had taken him for a second "I don't sing in public, that's my parents party trick, and to be honest, I really don't want to be anything like them"
"I know the feeling" she smiled getting up to get closer to him "We all aspire to be nothing like our parents, don't we?"
"Yeah" he felt himself over smiling back at her, while trying to stop his body from reacting to her getting so close "I better get going" he quickly got up, rested the guitar on the chair he'd sat on, and moved off, sure he wasn't going to be able to control his embarrassing body if she got any closer
"So" she held her hand up stopping him from stepping past her, if she'd have touched him he knew for sure he'd have died of embarrassment for his sweating body and wet trousers, he stood staring into her eyes wanting to fall into them, whatever she was asking he wasn't going to refuse "Our group" she smiled "Will you at least come see what we're about?"
"Yeah" the word couldn't come out fast enough, he needed to get away
"Ah ah" she stopped him from moving again by waving her finger at him "Promise?"
"Promise" he smiled watching her hand drop to give him permission to leave "Damn" he spat at himself for not being cooler about that situation
"After last class in here" she called after him
"Sure" he turned to respond still walking
The afternoon went quickly, no matter how much he'd wished it would slow down, he wondered down the corridor thinking about her, trying to forge a conversation that meant something in his head, smiling to himself at his very first encounter and how far he'd come earlier that day
Flashback
He'd walked into school that first day and immediately zoned in on a girl that had caught his eye, at first, his interpretation of the feeling he got when their eyes met, was that they were going to be mortal enemies, but over the weeks that followed she'd taken up more of his think time than he was used to giving anything.
To make things worse whenever he was near her, or even just at the thought of being near her, he would break out into a profuse sweat, he'd find it hard to think enough to string two words together. Embarrassingly he'd found that major fact out when it hit him like a brick, right in front of her, the first time she'd said hello he just froze. They stood in front of him wide eyed and open mouthed for the awkward silence, Kurt finally coughed loudly, and they all left him standing there, he felt like such a prick.
To add to the things people could see, like his apparent clumsiness, the confused distressed look which he thought was due to him being an idiot, but he'd now realised was all down to being girl shy and dyslexic. His secret crush also brought on a bright red blush at the thought of her, which in conjunction with his insecurity about his spotty face, and his once sexy silver blond hair slowly turning Mousy brown at the roots, there was also stuff going on inside for him that he was trying to understand.
His stomach was doing cartwheels, he was forever calming butterflies fluttering around sending sensations up his spine, consciously hiding the smile that forced itself onto his face every time his brain spent time on her. His heart was pumping so hard he knew someone was watching his top trying to keep up with the rhythm, while his imagination wondered off to that imaginary place he'd seen in films, where they enact the things he wished they would one day do together
End Of Flashback
"What am I going to do with a girl?" he asked himself, walking into the bathroom. He stood looking at himself, trying to find the positives before he straightened his top and made to carry on his walk along the corridor and into his music room. He stopped outside the room and touched his chest "Confidence" he willed himself, putting a smile on his face before entering the room "Hi"
"Hi" Kurt walked over to him "Great to finally see you"
"Don't make me regret it" he laughed
"We won't" Kurt laughed "Come meet the crew"
"I think I know them already" Sam walked with him towards the table they were all sitting at
"You know our names, I'll give you that, but you really don't know anything about us" Tina laughed "Welcome"
"Tina?" he pointed at her
"That's what my friends call me" she laughed "But the outside world" she shook her head "I think the last time I was truly happy outside of my family home was maybe elementary school, you know when kids were just kids, and nobody had been programmed yet to think about differences or even understand them" she laughed
"Amen" the others sang
"Then I got to secondary school, and the friends I thought I had left me because the kids at this school sort of told them to, nobody wants to be a target for bullying but within a week I'd become exactly that" she smiled "And the strange thing is I still don't know the reason why"
"We've worked out it's not about money, none of us actually have that much to talk about" Kurt told him
"Do they need a reason?" Sam asked
"Not really" Tina smiled at him "But when you find friends like these" she looked around the table "It makes everything just that little bit more tolerable"
"Don't the school ever do anything about it?" Sam asked
"They all know we exist if that's what you mean" Kurt told him "They all know, it happens in front of their eyes, they tell us to man up" he laughed
"That's what I tell myself every day" Sam laughed
"And that might be enough to pull you through" Kurt snapped "But I'm finding it near impossible to shake off the fact that I like boys"
"Oh" Sam looked at him shocked "I didn't know"
"Why would you, I don't know if your straight or gay" he frowned "Anyway it's not an affliction, it's who I am" he held his head up "My parents support me, and I guess that makes things easier for me"
"That's good" Sam smiled
"I went to a dark place before I came out" Kurt frowned
"Do you think it will ever change?" Sam asked looking at Mercy
"We live in hope" she finally smiled at him, she'd been sitting quietly listening to the others and stealing glances he was more than aware of, he was doing it too
"Mercy right?" he pointed at her, closing his eyes at just shortening her name to the one he called her in his head "Sorry Mercedes"
"Mercy's fine" she smiled "I feel like we're friends already" he could feel his face going red
"So, what's your story?" he braved it out
"Guess" she smiled
"Too beautiful, making all the girls jealous?"
"I wish" she laughed, Tina and Kurt caught the flirt and smiled at each other "I'm a black, plus size girl, and no competition for those anorexic wannabe's crawling the halls" she frowned
"No way" Sam sat back in his chair "That just isn't true"
"They beg to differ" she pointed at the door to the world outside it
"Well, they're all lies, if they disagree send them to me" Sam laughed
"You'd fight for me?" she fluttered her eyelashes at him
"I'm trying to stop all that, it's already cost me enough"
"Meaning?" Mercy looked at Kurt and Tina inquisitively
"I feel like I've been fighting bully's all my life every word hurt, I just found out today the reason I was frustrated and aggressive" he looked into Mercy's eyes "I'm dyslexic, I don't even know what it is, but knowing I have it makes me feel less worthless"
"It's when you see words jumbled up, or blurred or something" Kurt told him "Nothing to be scared about"
"I haven't got a plan together yet" Sam smiled
"My mom does classes on a Wednesday evening, she's a teacher, you should join us" Mercy told him
"That might be useful" he smiled at her "Do you go?"
"We, teach there" she pointed at Kurt and Tina "Being BTW nerds, is also on the list of reasons why we're targeted" she giggled "Are you willing to be one of us?"
"Sure" he smiled
"Can I share your secret now?" Mercy looked into his eyes, the only word he had slipped out his mouth
"Sure" he grinned
"Sam sings" she told the others, still staring into his eyes "Beautifully" she puckered her lips at him "We should get him to audition for us" she kept eye contact "For me" she almost whispered at him across the table
"Sure" he got up forgetting about his shyness and that he only knew three songs all the way through "Just a verse" he laughed "What do you want to hear?"
"That song you were singing earlier" she cooed
"Okay" he walked across the room, grabbed the guitar, and plugged it in "It's called 'No Letting Go' by Dan Caplen but you've all got to Join in" he strummed the guitar and started singing
Sam with others: Got somebody, she is a beauty, very special, really and truly, takes good care of me like it's her duty
Want you right by my side, night, and day
So no letting go, no holding back, because you are my lady, when I'm with you it's all of that
Girl, I'm so glad we've dated, no letting go, no holding back, no holding back, no, oh yeah
When I'm with you it's all of that, all of that, yeah, yeah
"I don't need to hear anymore, you're good" Kurt clapped
"We all had something to do with that" Sam looked at Mercy suddenly he wasn't shy anymore, they'd shared something during that song "You said you were part BTW nerds, what is that?" he asked Mercy
"Oh" she smiled "Born this way" she giggled
"And try as they might there's nothing they can do about it" Tina added "We have to go; my mom should be waiting for us"
"She is?" Mercy asked watching Tina grab hold of her arm "Okay, tomorrow, canteen, 8:00 sharp" she told Kurt and Sam as she was forcefully made to leave
Sam & Kurt
"I know the signs" Kurt smiled at Sam
"Signs?" he picked his bag up and made to leave
"You've got the hots for Mercy, I read people well" he smiled
"You think?" Sam smiled knowing it was more than a single hot
"If it's any consolation I think she likes you too, there are very few people she allows to call her Mercy on the first meeting, I think you're in for a bumpy ride though"
"Why?"
"Nothing about those two is ever straight forward, you're going to have to put the work in"
"I'm not straight forward either"
Tina & Mercy
"What's up, what's all this about your mom coming for us?" Mercy asked as the door closed
"I had to get you out of there, what the hell is going on with you two?"
"Nothing's going on between us" Mercy laughed "We just met"
"I think not, how did you know he could sing?"
"I heard him earlier in the music room and made him promise to come hang with us" she frowned
"That's it?"
"That's it" she laughed again
"So, Kurt and I have been badgering him for weeks to come join us, you speak three words and he's falling over himself to please you, give me those words" Tina begged
"What can I say" Mercy rolled her eyes grinning
"Too beautiful" Tina stroked Mercy's face "Making all the girls jealous" she spun round
"What you need to be thinking about is how we're going to get Kurt out of there to get to his dad's place"
"Oh, mom didn't turn up" Tina grinned making her way back inside "Maybe Sam will want to walk too"
"You're such a…" Mercy stopped mid-sentence at the door swinging open towards her
All
"Ride didn't turn up then?" Sam was stood in front of them asking
"No" Mercy smiled
"We thought we'd walk"
"Okay" he smiled looking back at Kurt "See you all tomorrow" he turned to leave them
"We're going that way" Kurt called after him "Where do you live?"
"Kemp Road about half a mile down"
"The old Hudson house?" Tina asked
"We're almost neighbours" Mercy smiled at him giving eye contact as she walked past him to carry on their journey
"I don't know what that mess was with Tina's mom coming to pick them up, but it wasn't true" Kurt told him "We always walk to my dad's office and get a lift home when he finishes in half an hour, it's quicker than the bus, it just means we have to meet at Sue's hardware shop for 7:00 every morning" he told Sam "If you can meet us there you can get a ride in too"
"Thanks" Sam smiled "Dad usually drops me off for the school bus, so that would be helpful"
"Hence the 8:00 meet up" Mercy turned to smile at him
"I'll look forward to it" he smiled at her
"T" Kurt nodded for her to get to him "Come here a minute" he walked slower to put some space between Sam and him "Go" he nodded at Sam
"So, you have what 35 followers on Instagram?" he stepped closer to her
"You're stalking my social media page?" she looked at him suspiciously
"No" he stepped back "I was interested"
"It's fine" she giggled "I know you came from Texas, and that you have 135 followers, and you love your dog"
"So, you've been stalking me?" he laughed
"Yes" she giggled "My follower are from church and of course those two" she turned to see them smiling
"I actually followed about a thousand random people and only those followed back" he laughed
"It's good to know I know someone who's popular"
"It would be really good to get to know you"
"I'd have to think about that" she smirked at him "Mr Hummel" she suddenly stood still "This is Sam, he's a new guy"
"He lives at the old Hudson place" Kurt told him, giving his dad a hug "I said we'd drop him off"
"Pleased to meet you Sam" Mr Hummel smiled at him before opening the car for them all to get in
"You too Sir" Sam smiled at he got in to make the five mile journey, Tina and Kurt chattering all the way
"I've thought about it" Mercy whispered in Sam's ear, he turned to look at her, smiling at her grin "I'd love that" he could do nothing but sit there grinning humming, smiling when the others joined in humming
So, no letting go, no holding back, because you are my lady, when I'm with you it's all of that
Girl, I'm so glad we've dated, no letting go, no holding back, no holding back, no, oh yeah
When I'm with you it's all of that, all of that, yeah, yeah
"What do you kids know about Wayne Wonder?"
"Your so old" Kurt laughed tapping his dad's shoulder