'Sofa,' Sirius panted as he and Fabian carried James through the hallway and into the living room.

Disapparating had been the final straw for James, who had lost consciousness somewhere between St Mungo's and the front door of his own house.

Lily waved her wand with her free hand so that the sofa became a bit wider and longer, the armrests lower. It wasn't exactly a bed, but it would do the job. James was the expert at transfiguration and well... they'd have to do without his skills.

Sirius and Fabian lowered James into the make-shift bed, while Lily helped Remus to an armchair.

Lily rushed over to her husband. Kneeling next to Sirius, she put one arm around a shaking Sirius and the other reached out for James' free hand. Sirius had taken the other and seemed unwilling to let go.

They should probably do something, but what could they do? They had no way of treating James. The whole situation felt unreal, like some mad nightmare.

Someone needed to take charge but Lily wasn't able to.

'We need to get Dumbledore,' Fabian said, his voice hard.

'No need to worry - on that account, at least - I am here,' came Albus Dumbledore's voice as he, Minerva McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey walked through the living room door.

For a moment, Lily had the ridiculous sensation of being back at school.

'I took the liberty of locking the door behind me. Best keep it that way, in times such as these.'

Their former headmaster's voice was light, but his piercing blue eyes looked very grave indeed as he took in the scene in front of him.

Dumbledore cared for James, and Lily could see the worry behind his half-moon glasses. Fleamont and Albus had been, if not exactly close friends (she wasn't sure either man had had anything that could be described as a close friend), close enough that Albus had always kept an extra eye out for James.

'Poppy, the boy,' he said, needlessly, as Madam Pomfrey hastened over to James.

'Why is it always you four,' Madam Pomfrey muttered, as Sirius and Lily got out of her way.

She must be thinking of the four Marauders, Lily thought, and realised in that moment that Peter was still unaware of what had happened.

'I want all of you out, now,' Madam Pomfrey turned to the others after having given James the merest of scans with her eyes and wand. 'Not you, Remus,' she added, 'once I am done with Mr Potter -'

'I am fine,' Remus repeated for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

'He needs rest,' Sirius said, who had come to stand by Remus' side. 'Why don't I take him up to the guest bedroom?'

This seemed to satisfy Madam Pomfrey sufficiently and Sirius helped his friend up and out of the living room.

Lily hung back as the others headed to the kitchen. Nobody seemed keen to leave the house.

Lily hoped the matron wouldn't ask her to leave with the rest. The thought of what had nearly happened last time she had left her husband didn't just haunt her memory - it was so very present right in front of her. It was pure luck that James had been given the time he needed to grab his wand, and there were so many scenarios in which Lily and Sirius would have come to find ... well... it didn't bear thinking about.

A knock on the door prevented Lily from ever finding out if Madam Pomfrey would have asked Lily to leave or not. Lily got up and moved to the hallway, wand at the ready.

She knew Remus was right about the protective charms. Dumbledore, no doubt honouring Fleamont's memory, had put up the charms around the house himself. This house should be safe, but 'should be' offered no guarantee - neither did her present company. As soon as any potential Death Eater discovered Dumbledore was in the Potter's kitchen, she was sure they would make their escape, but that would be too late for her and her baby.

'Who is it?' Lily called through the door.

'It's a right little party, that's what it is,' came Moody's gruff voice.

'What was the first thing you said to me and James?' Lily asked.

'That you're too trusting for your own damn good. But I would say a Death Eater could easily guess that if they knew the first thing about you or me, so that's of no use.'

'Let me,' came Dumbledore's voice, which saved Lily the potential awkwardness of trying again with another question or having to endure the lecture Moody would give her if she opened the door before she asked something else. By now, Lily was sure it was Moody alright.

Lily stepped back just as Sirius came down the stairs. His eyes immediately landed on the door she had closed earlier - the door which would take him into the living room; to James.

Lily moved closer to him: 'He'll be alright.'

In their sixth year, James had been in a truly horrible Quidditch accident, and Lily had not been able to fathom how Euphemia Potter had found it in her to comfort a terrified Sirius, when she must have been more petrified still. Now she understood. Comforting Sirius left less room for her own panic.

'Come upstairs for a moment?' Sirius asked, and Lily followed, ignoring any duty she might have had to greet the new arrivals.

Once they reached the first floor, Lily led Sirius into her and James' bedroom. She wasn't sure what Sirius wanted, but it felt better than standing out on the landing, hearing the disjointed voices of Peter, Moody... and Marlene and Frank? Yes, Lily thought that was them. Probably the back-up Remus had asked for, arriving in the wrong place, too late.

Lily closed the door and turned to find Sirius sitting on the edge of the bed - James' side, nearest the door - though she wasn't sure if Sirius knew that.

'How are you holding up?' Lily asked, cautiously, taking a seat next to him.

'I can't do this,' Sirius said to his hands, tears falling down his cheeks. 'I can't. If this is what it's like, being in the Order. I can't lose James. I can't.'

'You being in the Order isn't going to change a thing when it comes to James' safety,' Lily said, once she'd been able to collect herself.

Sirius Black never questioned doing the right thing. Sirius was a fighter for justice, just like James was. They didn't scare. One of their best friends turned out to be a werewolf - so what, they became animagi. Lord Voldemort started moving out in the open and killing muggles and muggle-borns; they joined the Order to fight him. They represented the values of Gryffindor through and through.

Lily put an arm around Sirius and let him cry. After a while, he seemed to gather himself. He wiped his eyes on the sleeves of his robes and cleared his throat.

'Sorry, Lils, I am not myself, I know... You must think me a coward. I... of course we need to fight...' Sirius said, looking embarrassed.

Lily wished she could convince him that he had nothing to be embarrassed about. In the space of a few months, Sirius had lost his surrogate parents and his brother, and he had nearly lost his surrogate brother, twice. Lily did not think Sirius a coward for wanting out before he lost anyone else, especially James. Merlin, if she had the choice, she'd want the same.

'Sometimes,' Lily started, unsure whether she was prepared to admit this to Sirius, 'sometimes I think back to James asking me out, and I wish I'd continued to say no.'

Lily knew this was the worst possible time to pause, but she had to see whether this was something Sirius too had wanted, because life would have been so much easier for James if he had never married her.

'Lily, I know what you're about to say and I get that - I do - I get how hard this must be for you, but this isn't your fault. You're one of the most brilliant witches I've ever met and the fact that some people can't look past your parents being muggles is insane. I've always thought that. James has always thought that. And even if you weren't brilliant, what's it to them what parents you and others have? It shouldn't matter.'

Ironically, Voldemort had been willing to look past her muggle parents, something she and James had found amusing, in the way they either had to find it funny or terrifying that they had thwarted his wishes to have them both as Death Eaters.

'But then you'd both be free,' Lily insisted.

'We'd still be fighting because that's the sort of idiots we are,' Sirius said. 'Look, I had a moment, and I'd really like you to forget that I had it. Otherwise I'll just have it alone next time.'

'Maybe I am having my moment,' Lily said quietly, feeling hot tears roll down her cheek now.

Sirius pulled her into a hug: 'It's kind of you to have a moment too, so I don't feel like a complete fool.'

She felt herself fall into his body the way James had earlier in St Mungo's. Sirius' warm arms wrapped around her body and it felt so good to feel his affection. Suddenly, Lily realised she needed to know what Sirius thought of her.

'Sirius, you told Remus I was one of your best friends, but you didn't really mean that, did you?'

'Why wouldn't I?' Sirius asked sounding confused. 'I mean, I know you're angry about the whole Snape thing...'

'I am not,' Lily admitted. 'I wanted to be angry, but I am not.'

'Well then, what's the problem?'

'You told me that you don't care about me - except as James' wife.' Lily wasn't sure what she believed any longer, but she was tired of second-guessing.

'I think I said I didn't care what you think about me, but I know... I know what I implied. I was angry,' Sirius said, pulling away slightly and looking into her eyes. 'I didn't mean it. There were things you said that I bet you didn't mean... What you said about Regulus -'

'Oh gosh, Sirius, I am really sorry about-'

'I know that. I know you didn't mean it. I just thought... you'd understand that I didn't mean what I said either. I thought you knew me better. We've been friends for years, Lily.'

Lily suddenly felt very embarrased. Her reasoning, which she had thought impeccable for so many days, suddenly seemed childish and misguided.

'I am sorry,' Lily said. 'It was stupid really...'

'Yes it was,' Sirius said, with feeling, 'Merlin, I told you I'd die for you, what more do you need?'

He wasn't angry, his tone somewhere between a weak accusation and an attempt at humour, and yet the words felt like daggers in her heart. Because that was just the thing: 'You'd save me for James' sake alone Sirius, that's the sort of friendship you two have - that's how loyal you are to him.'

'Not if I hated you.'

'Well, I am glad I cleared that bar.'

'Just about...'

'Haha,' Lily said dryly.

'Lily, in all seriousness,' Sirius said, 'Prongs is my best mate - my brother, really - and you're right that my feelings for you are intertwined with that... But I think that's true for you too. You would never think this highly of me without Prongs. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you. You're like an annoying, geeky little sister, who has somehow outgrown me, and well - you know - is about to have a freaking - screaming and kicking - child with your husband.'

'I know! I was an idiot,' Lily said. 'I am just scared Sirius. I don't have anyone else any longer. Mary is in hiding, the only people I hang out with is the Order and you guys.'

'I am not going anywhere, Lils,' Sirius said, pulling her once more into a bearlike hug.

'Sorry to break up a touching moment like this,' came a growl as the door opened to reveal Alastor Moody, 'but I would really like to discuss this disaster of a morning with you both. So kitchen, now!'

A/N:

Thanks for all the comments so far! It really means so much in my not-too-exciting long covid existence. This story is approaching it's end - there are three chapters left to be posted - only one left to be drafted.

Hopefully most know that Frank and Alice Longbottom are Neville's parents - and as Neville is a day older than Harry, Alice is pregnant and thus home while Frank turns up to help.