Chapter 48: The Talk

April 18, 0004

After a knock sounded Cloud's door, he opened it to see a familiar face.

"Hey!" Miranda greeted with unusual enthusiasm.

"Hey there," Cloud greeted back.

Miranda then proceeded to scan the room, and noticed that, to her relief, he was alone.

"Is Milton around?" she asked.

"He's out for a swim," Cloud replied.

"Good," she replied.

She then grabbed him by the arm and marched him into the room, shutting the door behind her. Then, without asking permission, she marched over to his bed, sat down, and patted the spot next to her, signaling for him to sit down next to her.

Cloud took the hint and sat down, wondering what she had to say.

"Okay. We're going to talk about sex," Miranda announced bluntly.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"You and Tifa," Miranda clarified. "Your need to have sex."

"What brought that up?" he asked.

It was rather sudden she would bring that up.

"You're married, number one," Miranda answered. "I wasn't born yesterday. Number two, you've both mentioned you want to get your relationship back to the way it had been before Sephiroth turned you into children. Since you're already a couple and making out all the time, isn't this logically the next step?"

"I suppose," Cloud admitted. "But-"

"No buts!" Miranda interjected. "Except your butt and Tifa's butt bare together!"

Cloud was silent; he felt awkward about having the conversation with a female friend.

"Prom is coming up in a week," Miranda mentioned. "That would be the perfect time to break Tifa out of her shell."

"Maybe," he replied.

"No maybes!" the persistent Miranda dismissed. "You're a hormone-fueled teen. All of you boys have sex on your minds! You always wonder how and when you're going to get into your girlfriends' pants. I've heard it worded in a lot of different ways, but, in the end, you have one question on your mind: 'How am I going to get this girl to let me park my car in her garage, yes?'"

Cloud began to blush.

"You've never had a completely platonic gal friend before, have you?" Miranda asked.

"Just your cousin," Cloud replied. "And we never talked about sex."

"Galpals talk about sex all the time," she said.

"I'm not a galpal," Cloud reminded her.

"But I am!" Miranda fired back. "So, tell me, how far have you gone? Since you were turned into kids, I mean?"

"Second base," Cloud replied sheepishly.

"Over clothes or under clothes?" she asked.

"Over for her, under for me," he replied. "She took my shirt off, and I tried to take hers off, but she stopped me. I think when we were turned back into kids, it reset everything, and she's still not sure she's ready."

"He turned you back into kids seven or eight years ago," Miranda pointed out. "She has to grow up sometime. Maybe you could ease her forward."

"Ease her forward?" Cloud asked.

"You could try third base," Miranda suggested. "Then you can be intimate without having actual…."

She made air quotes with her fingers.

"….sex."

"She wouldn't even do that when we were intimate," Cloud dismissed.

"In that case," she finally said, "we need to go straight to the vadge. And I know all about aphrodisiacs. My mom used to sell them for a living."

"Like what?" he asked skeptically.

"Cologne," Miranda began. "Do you ever wear Cologne?"

"Never," Cloud replied. "I prefer to smell like a man."

Miranda sighed.

"That's about to change," she announced. "Didn't anyone ever tell you cologne is an aphrodisiac? It can make women go crazy for you!"

"I dunno," he dismissed.

"I do know," she said. "The cologne my mom made caused fifty marriages, forty babies, and prevented ten divorces. Mind you, it was a small town shop, and it takes a lot of balls to admit that last one. Trust me, with my mom's cologne, even Lynn won't be able to resist you."

"Anyone but her," he laughed.

"What happened to Lynn, anyway?" Miranda asked.

"She got put in solitary and is in her room twenty-three hours a day," Cloud replied. "Strangely enough, she's still allowed to go to prom. But how will we get you mom's cologne when we can't see our parents?"

"I know how to make it," Miranda replied with a wink. "One after-hours trip to the chemistry lab will take care of that. But first, you need to ask her to the prom."

"I doubt that will be a problem," he assured her. "We're already together."

"Still be romantic," she commanded.

"What about you?" Cloud asked out of curiosity. "Are you going to the prom?"

"Honestly," Miranda replied, "I didn't expect to be here. I'm seventeen. My expiration date was in the single digits. Apparently it's a couples-only thing here, so I can't go with friends. So probably not."

Cloud lowered his head.

He needed to tell her.

Soon.

LATER…

Cloud knocked on Tifa and Miranda's door.

Tifa answered moments later, and gasped.

Cloud was standing there holding a bouquet of roses.

Even thought they were already together, and technically still married, he had taken his friend's advice to woo her.

Tears were already welling up in her eyes.

But Cloud was far from finished.

"I'm not good at things like this," he began, "so I'll just say it. Tiffany Claire Lockhart, will you go to the prom with me?"

"Of course I will," she choked before leaping into his arms.

They then went to Tifa's bed, where Cloud sat down outright, and Tifa lay on her side with her head in his lap. Cloud took his right hand and gently rubbed her hip through her jeans.

"You know what's funny?" she began as she dried a tear. "One of my biggest regrets was not sharing all the high school milestones with you. And even though this has been a roller coaster, I'm so happy for this second chance!"

Cloud leaned down and kissed her.

An hour later, Tifa finally sat up, and gazed at the ceiling.

Cloud could tell that she definitely had something on her mind.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Riggs and Miranda look like they would be a cute couple in real life," Tifa replied. "It's been on my mind since the play."

"They're just friends," Cloud dismissed.

"So were we," Tifa pointed out. "Originally. But I thought we'd be a good couple. I thought the same about Tobin and Cissnei. Have I ever been wrong about that?"

"We're all wrong about something sooner or later," he said.

"True," Tifa said. "But I'm wondering if she does like him, and she's just holding herself back because of….you know…."

Now, it was Cloud's turn to look at the ceiling. Now would be a good time to bring it up.

"What's on your mind?" Tifa asked.

"I just realized something last night," he replied.

"What?" she asked.

"I think I know how to save Miranda," Cloud began. "I just can't believe I didn't think of it sooner."

Tifa's eyes widened.

"How?" she asked, with a tone of hope in her voice.

"We dip her," he answered.

"You mean the same way I was?" she asked. "When I was beaten badly and bleeding to death inside?"

"Yes," Cloud replied. "Along with Zack, Vincent, and-"

"Great idea!" Tifa interrupted. "You're right! I can't believe we didn't think of it sooner!"

"I was thinking of asking her after prom," Cloud continued. "We all get two weeks of vacation afterwards, so I was thinking of having her dipped then."

Tifa laughed.

"I can't believe they let us roam the free world for two weeks," she said. "And this is a prison."

"Reform school," Cloud corrected. "There's a little more freedom. Though we have to wear a tracking bracelet at all times, and can't see our families."

"I don't get that rule," sighed Tifa. "Poor Riggs."

"It's a punishment," Cloud said. "They can't let them off that easily."

Tifa nodded, but still felt terrible for Riggs; he sorely wanted to be home with his family again. He still needed to wait two years.

Then, returning her attention back to Miranda, she only had one question.

"Would it fix her heart condition?" Tifa asked.

"It should," Cloud replied. "If it brought Vincent back to life, it should."

Tifa smiled, feeling Miranda was going to be okay after all.

And then, the smile faded from Tifa's face.

There was one loose end that was not tied up.

"It still wouldn't explain why we don't see Miranda in the present," she pointed out.

"We didn't see Riggs or Milton in the present either," Cloud mentioned. "There could be lots of reasons."

"True," agreed Tifa.

She would not admit it, but she was considering the possibility that Miranda would turn down the offer.

LATER…

Miranda would intercept Cloud on the way home from class the next day.

"Did you ask her to the prom?" Miranda asked.

"Yes," he replied with a nod.

"Were you romantic?" she then asked.

"I gave her roses," he answered.

"Good boy," Miranda playfully complimented. "As a reward…."

Instead of finishing, Miranda handed him the cologne she had made out of the chemicals she had "borrowed" from the lab.

"Now logic would denote that any woman who gets a good whiff of that….is going to want to tear your clothes to shreds."

MEANWHILE…

Milton was on the way back from class when he bumped into someone he knew.

It was Amy.

"Hey Milton!" she greeted.

"Hey there," he greeted back.

She seemed strangely friendlier than usual.

"So," she began, "I have a question for you."

"Sure," Milton replied suspiciously.

Amy cleared her throat and positioned herself to look all cute.

"Will you go to the prom with me?" she asked in a flirty tone of voice.

Milton was stunned. He had worked with Amy during the play, but they barely interacted offstage.

"Sure," he replied, without thinking twice.

"Great!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around him. "Gotta get to class!"

With that, she turned and darted off, with Milton ogling her perfect body the entire time.

That was forward, Milton thought to himself. Really forward. But, hell, I've got a cheer captain as a prom date. I wonder what she looks like naked. I wonder if I'll find out that night.

Had Miranda been there, she would have asserted, correctly, that he was thinking with his genitals.

Amy had something different on her mind.

Now to get to the bottom of Matt and Julie, she thought. And to find out who they really are, and what they're doing here.

Milton will know for sure.