Note: This feature is only on AO3, but last update I added the total number of chapters for this story through to the end. When I took time off work to write I mostly finished this story and was surprised to naturally conclude at 100 chapters. Only one chapter is still substantially under-written. When it's finished, we'll be back to weekly updates. The end is nearing!

A reminder, translations are at the end if you need them.

This chapter includes events that may be difficult for some readers. Take care.

Chapter 82: Breakdown

It was dark inside the small hospital chapel, lit only by the dozens of electric prayer candles and tea lights crowding a table that served as some sort of altar. The walls were adorned with fake stained glass, lit artificially because there were no real windows. Artwork of space colonization and a few images of nature back on Earth were the themes, along with some beautiful geometric patterns. Nothing tied to any particular faith, just something beautiful and serene to create an air of peace. It was a room of colorful light and artificial flames, oddly befitting of L2, though he couldn't pinpoint why.

After Trowa was taken away, and once he and Wufei got their wits about them, they realized Duo was missing. Neither of them was willing to admit the obvious about the arrest just yet, and instead, with him in denial, they set about finding Duo.

It was bad enough to lose one member of their team, they couldn't afford to lose a second.

After half an hour of searching he found Duo in the chapel, sitting on a bench a few rows from the altar, and totally alone. His head hung low, but even silhouetted in that artificial candlelight there was no mistaking him. Quatre checked the hallway for any signs of Wufei before steeling himself and approaching slowly, afraid to make any noise lest he break the silence. He wasn't sure what would happen if Duo was disturbed from his trance.

A stealth expert should've noticed his approach. If he did, Duo had no reaction. When Quatre reached his row, he could see how usually vibrant violet eyes were closed. He slid onto the bench beside the grieving man.

Silence around Duo made him nervous. Stillness was so different from the usual motion that followed him everywhere he went. For the first time Quatre didn't wish he could reach out with his empath abilities and read Duo. Because in that moment he didn't need to. For the first time, possibly ever, he knew in his heart how Duo was feeling. He experienced the other man's pain without any special ability.

He took a deep and silent breath before speaking. "Everyone's looking for you."

Duo didn't move, and it settled something in his chest that reminded him not everyone was looking for him. He didn't want to think about Trowa, so he focused on the other man not looking for Duo.

"The doctors said Heero will pull through. He's been moved to recovery."

Duo remained completely still. It unnerved Quatre.

"He's okay. They're all going to be okay. It's done."

He knew he was rambling a bit, but he was hoping for any reaction. Duo always had a reaction.

He got none.

"No one could've predicted this. Duo?" He moved off the bench, crouching in the space between rows to face the American more directly. "Look at me, please. I need you to look at me."

When Duo lifted his head, his eyes were red and his face was streaked with tears. The tracks cleaned soot from his cheeks in lines that smeared down to his jaw. Quatre felt a sharp pain in his chest. This, he thought, was what it meant to have empathy without some special power. Because looking into Duo's eyes, with that artificial candlelight flickering in depths of sorrow, he struggled against tears of his own. Duo's pain was, without a doubt, something he felt, too. He realized suddenly that perhaps this was a moment when he needed to back off rather than smother. Duo was not the type of person to always want to talk things out. Perhaps treading lightly was key. He needed to figure out what was best for the broken man, and he needed to do it fast.

Calming himself and making sure his voice remained steady, he asked "Would you like me to stay? I'm here for you if you need me. But I'll leave if you want to be alone."

After another moment of silence, he moved to stand. Duo's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist with crushing force. He heard a shaky voice that sounded nothing like Duo plead "don't leave me."

The sound of that voice rocked him. Duo always sounded so self-assured, but now he was uncertain and scared. It became clear he had no confidence that anyone would actually remain by his side, and that broke Quatre's heart. He looked down to Duo, whose eyes were averted again. His long braid was disheveled. His clothing was dirty and bloody. All the natural light in his eyes, when they finally and hesitantly found Quatre's, was gone.

The sight of him caused acute pain.

"You said they're all going to be okay. But they're not. Not all of them." He voice cracked, overcome with agony. "A kid died today because of me, Quatre. I watched as half his skull disappeared. Please. Don't tell me it's going to be okay! Don't lie to me!" He closed his eyes tightly and his grip on Quatre's wrist became painful. "And don't leave me. Please. I don't wanna be alone."

Slowly lowering himself to the bench, Quatre placed an arm around Duo and drew him close. He felt him tense before gradually relaxing into his shoulder. All he could do was embrace him as he let go of some of the pain he'd held inside. He was startled to feel a wetness settle into his shoulder.

Duo was crying, and doing it in front of him. Heero said during one of their long conversations that Duo's refusal to cry worried him. He was deeply concerned that his partner wasn't allowing himself to fully process negative emotions.

And now he was crying softly into Quatre's shoulder. Though Duo was tense, and obviously still holding tightly to something inside of himself that made him unwilling to truly let go and feel, he was taking a small step.

Meanwhile, something inside of Quatre told him these tears were not just shed for the events of last several hours. Still, he knew better than to push for an explanation before Duo was ready to offer one.

Letting out some tears was enough for now, probably. He thought.

It was a start.

That was how Wufei eventually found them. Duo leaning on Quatre, silently crying into his shoulder, holding him close with one hand wedged somewhere between them and another around Quatre's waist. They seemed comfortable enough to indicate they'd been in that position for some time. Quatre held Duo in return, and appeared to be gently caressing the arm around his waist in a bid to give comfort.

Wufei had never seen his best friend so devastated, and he was startled to see him leaning on Quatre of all people. Was Duo really so far broken that he turned to Quatre for comfort? Those two kind of hated each other, as far as he knew. They had no reason to be found in an embrace, let alone one in which Duo was crying. He'd only seen the former Deathscythe pilot cry once, when they fought at Dragon Kwoon and he told Duo they were family. That was brief, but impactful.

The scene he walked into at the hospital's chapel simply did not compute.

In spite of the jarring display before him, he knew what to do. He slid onto the bench on the other side of Duo and placed a hand on his back. The contact caused him to suddenly begin to sob loudly and hug Quatre closer.

One touch from Wufei, and Duo released all of his sorrow.

The sound of his voice was harsh and painfully rough around the edges. He choked on air, failed to catch his breath, and was wracked with violent shaking. His strong grip would eventually bruise Quatre's fair skin, but the blonde would wear those marks with pride. He knew that few people, if any, were privileged enough to comfort Duo Maxwell, who never let on when he was in real pain.

In the moment, Quatre gently but firmly held onto him. Then, through those choked sobs, he thought he heard Duo speak. It happened again, and he looked up to Wufei for confirmation. He didn't understand the words.

"Lo siento! Lo siento!"

Wufei looked just as puzzled.

Eventually, Quatre gathered the courage to tilt his neck in order to rest his cheek above Duo's head and gently nuzzle the man's hair. He hoped it would calm Duo some, but it simply earned him a confused look from Wufei, which he ignored.

In response Duo cried harder, and held onto Quatre like he was afraid to let go.

"Muerte me olvidó!"

Duo's voice was agonizing for his friends to hear, and his breath hot against Quatre's skin, even through the fabric of his shirt.

"Todavía estoy vivo! ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? Why? Lo siento! Lo siento mucho! I'm sorry!"

The gravity of the situation did not escape Quatre or Wufei, nor did the unusualness of Duo slipping into Spanish. For Quatre it reminded him of being at the cabin, when he was sure Duo was going to die. Was that what was happening? Did he think he was going to die? He could've sworn he heard the word for dead somewhere in those cries.

It took Duo several minutes to compose himself again, and during that time Quatre continued to hold him and Wufei kept his hand on his back, rubbing circles in the hopes of giving any kind of comfort to his friend. Occasionally, after a particularly loud cry, Quatre and Wufei's eyes would meet above Duo's head. Both of them had tears running down their faces.

For Wufei every painful cry stabbed at his heart. That pain of Duo's physically manifested in his chest, and he couldn't help but cry, too. He never wanted his friend to feel this way ever again. He tried hard not to cry, but he loved Duo too much to be unaffected. He wanted to take all his pain and put it onto himself to carry. Anything to spare his friend.

For Quatre, emotions simply overwhelmed him in a way he'd never experienced before.

Slowly, Duo sat upright and released Quatre from his grip. He rubbed the backs of his hands across his cheeks, smearing the remaining dirt and grime into a streaky mess. When he saw the effect on the backs of his hands, he paused, staring at them like he didn't understand how they arrived at their current state.

Quatre's shirt was soaked through at the shoulder and dirty from the transfer of soot, but he didn't care. He joined Wufei in placing a hand on Duo's back, certain physical contact was important. They sat in complete silence until Quatre felt it couldn't go on anymore.

"Duo," he asked gently. "Would you like to see Heero now?"

Just when he thought Duo was back in a state of shock and he would get no answer, the man nodded slightly. He didn't make to move, but he did nod in agreement. Wufei took it as a cue and stood, reaching back down to encourage Duo to stand. He was ready to brace him if his legs turned to jelly and he didn't have the strength to rise to his feet.

But Duo, being Duo, stood on his own strength.

As they made to leave the chapel, Quatre and Wufei took flanking positions on either side of him, each of them with a hand on the arm closest to them. It was a defensive position to protect their injured friend. If anything or anyone threatened Duo, they would shield him. After all, when one pilot was down, the others rallied.

Old habits were hard to break.

They made it to the recovery room and found Heero in a shared space. Multiple beds were divided by cheap and flimsy curtains. There was just a little space on either side of Heero's bed and nothing more. It was only enough for a single chair on one side, and equipment on the other. Duo froze when he saw Heero, rushing forward only when he finally got over the shock of how weakened and vulnerable the man looked. He took residence in the only chair, grabbed Heero's hand, and held it up to his tear and soot-stained cheek.

The sight was hard for Quatre and Wufei to witness.

Heero was very pale. He had a line for oxygen, an IV, and a large tube running out from the side of his chest into the wall for suction. Through a gap in his gown, they could see where a heart monitor was connected. There was also a large bandage on his chest. His gown opened in the front for easier access to wound care, and was presumably tied around his waist somewhere under his blanket. A nurse checked on the machines and eyed them suspiciously.

"Lucky guy. Doc says the bullet dinit penetrate the lung. But he still hadta sedate 'im to tube'im. He'll wake innan hour, hour half. Who letcha back 'ere so soon?"

On Earth Wufei would flash his badge and be done with most of these sorts of questions, but on L2 the last thing anyone should do was flash a Preventer's badge. Before they could think of a response a woman's voice said "I requested it, Carla. You've all been so kind to accommodate us."

It was Sister Elise, looking worn but dignified. The nurse nodded, eyed the men again, and went back to her other patients.

Elise looked towards Duo, then signaled the others to follow her. Once out of the recovery area she let down her guard and appeared incredibly worn and utterly heartbroken. Her posture collapsed a little on itself, and she leaned against a wall for support. Quatre reached out to steady her, taking her arm at the elbow.

"I can't believe this happened," she whispered. "What kind of monster does this? And to children?" She choked back a sob, and leaned more heavily onto the wall. "The kids are terrified. Mary keeps bursting into tears. Jaime won't say a word to anyone, he just stares. And Bastien!" She collapsed towards the floor, her voice breaking. Quatre caught her and eased her into a sitting position.

"And the others! Where will they live? What will happen to us? Our beautiful and safe home is gone! Will they ever feel safe there again?"

Quatre was about to assure her he'd take care of them when she said something that startled both him and Wufei.

"I hope Ms Hilde can help us out. She's been so generous these past few years. I'm afraid to ask for more but I don't know what else to do!"

Wufei and Quatre instantly turned to each other, silently communicating their confusion. How could Hilde be supporting the orphanage? Wufei cleared his throat.

"You know Ms Hilde?"

Elise's eyes found a fraction of the life they had moments ago. "Yes. She's been our benefactor for many years, sending gifts for the children on every occasion. We haven't seen her in a while, though. I think she came into money and moved to Earth. She asked Mr Maxwell to take over coordinating for her." She sighed. "We do miss her. The children especially loved her visits. It wasn't just the gifts, but her vibrant personality. All the children were happy when they saw Ms Hilde."

Once more Wufei and Quatre stole glances towards each other. Quatre spoke.

"Mr Maxwell's been coordinating for her?"

Elise sighed and steadied her breathing. "Yes. All the sudden through him she's sending enough to renovate the building and purchase everything we could possibly need to educate our kids and provide quality meals, cultural enrichment, and community support. She's our guardian angel, but this may be beyond her ability to help."

Quatre was piecing things together, and coming to the realization that for the last few years Duo's generous donations were made as though they came from Hilde. After she died, he just let Elise believe Hilde was busy with a new life. Then he poured his time and money into providing for the kids Hilde cared so much for. Not even the nun knew Duo was the person who funded everything. She didn't know about the ransom, the half a million in cash, that Duo procured in only a couple of hours. She didn't know he lived in a tiny studio apartment while he built an entire addition to her orphanage and church.

On the flight to L2 it became so very obvious that their friend wasn't broke at all. But now, to know he was single handedly funding an entire orphanage on L2 in secret while giving all the credit to his dead friend...

"I really ought to go check on the rest of the children. They're in the cafeteria, and I have to coordinate where to send them for now." She stood with Quatre's assistance. "I hate to split them up when they're so scared, but there's no other choice. A few community centers have offered emergency housing and I need to get back to them."

Wufei offered to escort her, and they said goodbye to Quatre, who left to check on Duo and Heero. Making their way toward the cafeteria, Elise held Wufei's arm. She finally broke the silence with starling news.

"This was the first time I met Mr Maxwell in person. Hilde used to mention him buying some of the gifts she brought, but he never accompanied her to deliver them. I think... I think him being here is the reason more children weren't hurt. We've been blessed by two guardian angels. Ms Hilde, and Maxwell's Angel."

Intrigued, Wufei asked "Maxwell's Angel?"

She smiled weakly and her eyes cut over to meet his. "I recognized the braid from news reports back then. When I first came to L2 on a mission they warned us of what happened." Her voice softened. "He looks the same, honestly. An adult version of that little boy. I can't imagine what this has done to him. He must feel like it's happened all over again. But I'm a woman of faith, so I think god had plans for him. He was the only survivor back then, and I think he was given that chance at life in order to save as many of us as he could today. I know the reason you're all here is because he called you."

Wufei felt further questioning would be too strange, so he let her words linger until they arrived in the cafeteria and some of the children ran to her seeking comfort. No matter how she viewed the day's events, he was confident she was wrong about a divine plan for Duo. As much as he hated to admit it, without Duo's involvement it was more likely that everyone would have remained safe.

He had a lot to think about on his walk back and took his time. He was worried about a great many things and called Earthside again to get hold of Sally. When she didn't answer, he called Une to ask for a third time why Trowa was detained. The amount of information he lacked and desperately needed was overwhelming. Une didn't answer her phone, and he wasn't looking forward to dealing with Quatre yet. Not until he settled his own troubles. In the meantime, he looked up any mentions from L2 of "Maxwell's Angel" in old news articles. Eventually he found a photo, nearly two decades old, of a young child who was unmistakably Duo. He was covered in soot and standing in front of the ruins of a building captioned as "Maxwell Church." He saved the image, knowing it was a terrible memory for his friend but also knowing Duo had no pictures from his childhood. Then he focused on the article.

As he read, he felt his heart sink.

Finally, his pocket vibrated. When he pulled his phone, Sally's name displayed.

"Sally! Are you okay?"

She sounded confused. "You're the one on a mission. I'm just covering a shift here. I'm sorry I couldn't answer before, surgery tried to steal a patient from me when I did not recommend an operation, and I was having it out with the head of the department as well as our bosses. I just couldn't answer my phone" She paused. "What's wrong?"

Wufei slumped against a wall and doubled over in relief. She was safe. Whether or not that had anything to do with Duo's choices, she was safe.

When he collected himself, he told her everything and spared no detail. It took time, and delayed him quite a while in his inevitable quest to search for his friends. It didn't feel good to avoid Quatre and Duo to focus on himself, but for now he couldn't help either of them. He couldn't heal Heero. He couldn't free Trowa. But he could be a better support for both of his friends if he didn't need support for himself. Knowing Sally was safe and hearing her voice as they spoke at length would give him all the strength he needed to hold the others together.

He loved the sound of her voice, even as she asked questions he was too tired to want to answer.

"And they told you nothing about why he was arrested?"

"Nothing."

"But we think it's..."

"Yeah."

She sighed heavily. "Give me ten minutes."

He was puzzled.

"I have favors I can call in to some higher up folks with Preventers. They won't be able to say anything on the record, but if they know something they'll tell me."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, dear. They owe me big time. Some still owe me from the war. Just stick by your phone and give me ten minutes."

"I love you, Sally."

The warmth in her voice when she answered "I love you, my Dragon" eased his heart as he waited for her return call.

Wufei spotted Quatre aimlessly pacing the halls not far from where they'd left Duo and Heero. He looked rough, and it didn't make what he was about to do feel any better. He wasn't sure if he'd be kicking a man while he was down or easing the questions for which he was desperate to find answers. As he got closer, aqua eyes locked with his and Quatre stilled.

He felt nauseated, realizing that his friend almost certainly knew he'd gotten information.

"Let's find somewhere to talk."

Quatre remained rooted to his spot in the hallway. "Here's as good as anywhere. What did you find out? Why was he arrested?"

Taking a deep breath, Wufei reminded himself that Sally was okay, and that she told him he could handle anything coming his way. Her faith in him calmed his nerves. Someone had to be calm, and neither Duo nor Quatre appeared up for the job at the moment.

"This is all off the record." His friend nodded, eyes scared. "The reason they arrested Trowa really is because they suspect he's the one feeding Chevalier information."

The way Quatre's eyes closed and his shoulders slumped said everything. Without another word on the subject, he straightened and began to walk away.

"It's about time we check on Duo. Chevalier is still out there, and we better strike sooner rather than later. We'll need him because the two of us sure can't take this guy by ourselves."

Wufei wasn't sure what to make of that, but he followed Quatre nonetheless.

It took only a few minutes to find Heero again, and Duo was predictably by his side. They hadn't moved him into a room yet, and recovery was just as cramped for space as before. As soon as Quatre felt Wufei step in beside him, the blonde spoke to Duo as though Wufei's presence would reinforce his words.

"Duo, we really ought to be going."

His friend didn't look up, and continued to stroke Heero's hair, smoothing it away from his face. "Two hours ago they said he'd be awake in an hour, maybe an hour and a half. I'd like to stay by his side, if that's all right with you. At least until he wakes up."

Quatre and Wufei exchanged worried glances. It was no joke that time was running out to make a move on Chevalier, and they'd all contributed to wasting it. Still, their friend was shattered by all that happened. He didn't seem interested in catching the man who caused all this pain. He didn't even look at his friends. He just wanted to be with Heero, and greet him when he finally woke.

They exited into the hallway, temporarily defeated. Once out of earshot, Quatre pulled Wufei close and in a hushed tone explained "I don't think this is about me. Or not anymore. I think this is about hurting Duo."

Wufei squinted at him. "I agree. In December it was about you, but now everything has targeted him."

"Think about it, Wufei. On the day Chevalier was supposed to get his response from Duo, he delays his reply and gets shot in the chest. Twice. No one actually went after Relena. No one went after me. They didn't chase Duo at all, either. They knew he'd have armor and they shot him to send a message, even Duo suspected as much. And they knew we'd have armor today and were prepared to inflict the most damage possible. The outcome today was precisely designed to hurt Duo in the most painful way. They killed a kid, and damn near killed Heero. Almost succeeded, too, but I haven't figured out if the almost was deliberate or just good luck on Heero's side."

Wufei nodded. "And Chevalier set the initial rendezvous point for the shopping center where Hilde died." He saw the shock in Quatre's eyes. "He also targeted the orphanage and burned it to the ground. These can't be coincidences." He obviously lost Quatre at the last evidence. His friend didn't know about the things Sister Elise clued him in on. Normally he'd stay quiet but now was not the time to respect Duo's privacy. "The church that took Duo in as a child was burned to the ground in an Alliance attack. He was the only survivor."

Quatre's eyes immediately cut to the door they'd just walked through as though he could see Duo behind it. He looked pained as he whispered "I didn't know. I only knew the Alliance interrupted the life he could've had there." His eyes never left Duo's direction, and while he was in thought, Wufei studied him. Though his friend looked determined he had to wonder what toll this took on him.

"How are you holding up?"

Quatre shot him a confused look. "What?"

Finding it hard to believe he had to explain further, Wufei clarified "I know I don't need to remind you they arrested Trowa. How are you holding up?"

If he hadn't been looking so closely at his friend Wufei would have missed the slight tremble that briefly overtook Quatre before he steeled himself. "I'm fine. I can't think about that right now and I can't change it. We need to protect Duo from this sick bastard, but I don't know what his next move will be. If he's targeting Duo based on his past, if he's reminding him of the suffering he's endured, we need to know what else this man could use. And I hope he's not stupid enough to use the plague." He turned sharply to Wufei. "You're weirdly close. Do you know anything we're missing?"

Quatre's words built further resolve in him until the closing question. What could he possibly know? He realized he didn't really have much information about Duo's past. Other than vague mentions of his time on L2 they never discussed it. He wouldn't know about the Maxwell Church if Sister Elise hadn't just told him what to look for. Even then, it appeared that information was already used to torture his friend.

"No. I don't know anything useful."

With reluctance, Quatre nodded. They stood in silence once again, though it wasn't entirely comfortable. Wufei wanted to ask just what happened between Quatre and Duo. He wanted to know when, how, and why they appeared to have become friendly. What changed to make Quatre prioritize Duo's well-being over his own emotional state? There was a glint in his eyes when he spoke about protecting him, one that was sincere and almost ferocious. Between that, and finding Duo crying on his shoulder, he was having a hard time processing their dynamic shift. Duo only cried once in front of him before today, and that was awkward. In the chapel he finally let his feelings go, and it did it while leaning on Quatre.

He had so many questions.

He just wasn't sure when the right time would be to bring up the subject.

TRANSLATION FOOTNOTE

Duo's Spanish, in order:

Lo siento (I'm sorry)

Muerte me olvidó! (Death forgot me)

Todavía estoy vivo! ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué? Lo siento! Lo siento mucho! (I'm still alive. Why? Why? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!)