Episode 3x5. Contains allusions to Episode 5x14.

"Realization"

Hook had not planned to initiate any kind of intimate moment with Emma after returning to the camp. He had not even planned to reveal that he had just saved David's life. There had been too many moments of secrecy, deception, and temptation throughout their little adventure, and David still wanted to hide the true reason for it. While Hook disagreed with that decision, he was willing to go along with it, if only to stay in the prince's good graces.

However, David surprised him by giving the women a slightly altered account of their journey. The details were false, but the kernel was true: Hook had saved his life, and David wanted to give him credit. It was a little embarrassing, actually—much different from his own boasting or the notoriety he had enjoyed in his career. He was not sure he deserved such praise from the people he had antagonized, especially after he had recently lied and almost betrayed David. But he appreciated the gesture of acceptance from David and Snow, and it gave him hope for something he had thought he might never have: the approval of Emma's parents.

Then Emma herself lingered near him while the others scattered. After some awkward and skeptical comments, she looked him in the eyes and thanked him earnestly. She had never done that before, even on occasions when it would have been fitting to do so.

Hook had not planned on using his good deed as leverage, but once the opportunity was there before him, he could not resist. In their native land, it would have been normal, perhaps even expected, for a princess to give a token of her appreciation to a hero. A kiss was certainly suitable in such a case.

He had no way of knowing if it would work. He and Emma were on better terms than ever, but she had never risen to his bait before. This time, though, she flirted back; then they were in a kind of standoff, challenging each other—and then she was seizing his collar and kissing him.

Hook was not sure why he was so taken aback by the kiss. It was not as though he had never thought about kissing Emma before. There had been moments, here and there, full of tension and connection and innuendo. Sometimes he had almost thought that it was a matter of time before things came to a head between them.

Any man with eyes could see at a glance how attractive Emma Swan was, and by now Hook had spent enough time with her to be familiar with how she moved and talked and interacted with the world around her.

What he had not expected was how fierce she was, how quickly and forcefully she moved against him. He responded with as much intensity, as though all his feelings toward her—from the day they climbed the beanstalk until now—were finally rising up after being tamped down for so long.

Bloody hell. Blessed heaven.

This woman could kiss.

It was rough and heated and messy—and it made him feel more than any other kiss he had shared in the past two hundred-odd years.

It was over just as suddenly as it had begun. They were both breathless, and for once Hook was nearly at a loss for words.

Before he could even begin to articulate his feelings, or ask Emma about hers, she insisted that it would not happen again, then turned and walked away, leaving him to stare at her. She spoke a few short instructions over her shoulder—she did not want the others to see the two of them coming back together. Hook responded calmly, politely, obliging her request without taking offense.

But as soon as he turned his back to her, he found himself touching his lips, huffing a little in amazement. Several colorful words and phrases ran through his head, including Shiver me timbers, which now sounded like a fitting euphemism. He felt exhilarated, as though he had just fallen off a cliff and was getting his bearings on new terrain.

Though Emma's abruptness left him a bit stunned, Hook was glad to have a few moments alone, and relieved to find that his flask had not been completely emptied by the others' toasts. He needed to think, and sort out these feelings, which, while not exactly new, suddenly seemed much stronger than he had thought.

Part of him felt vindicated. The kiss seemed to prove that he had been right about many things, including their attraction. He was sure, now, that Emma felt it too, even if she did not welcome it as he did. He had known she was passionate and hungry for love, but not toward him. She had always brushed off his flirtations, and she only gave in this time, ostensibly, to prove that she could remain self-possessed while kissing him. She seemed to have succeeded on that point, if her departure was any indication.

But the way she had kissed him … was that how she always kissed, or had he, specifically, brought that out of her? Did she actually care about him, or even want him, underneath that armor she kept around her heart?

Hook had a considerable amount of vanity. He knew himself to be desirable, and he consciously played up that image, both for his advantage and simply for fun. But he had not thought much about being truly loved, and never consciously desired it. Milah's love had been an unexpected gift, and after losing her, he had thought he would never love or be loved again. He might have even preferred it that way, out of respect for her memory. The closest he would come to that experience was flirtation and pleasure.

When his path crossed with Emma's, he had considered it a challenge to try to break her walls down and see who she really was. He just had not thought much about what he would do if he succeeded. And while he had been trying to get to know her, he had not realized that it would also require him to be seen and known. As they spent more time together, on his ship and on this island where he had spent so many years, he found that he increasingly wanted her to know him—but to know him as a man of honor and good form, not just a selfish pirate.

It was only now that Hook realized his feelings for Emma were more than just a soft spot or passing fancy. This was something deeper, something he had not expected to feel again after Milah. Even as he recognized it, he was reticent to name it. If it was real—if it was what he thought it was—he was in for a lot more trouble than he had anticipated. But even as he recognized that, he could not bring himself to regret it.

He could imagine the question his crew and others who knew him—friends and foes alike—would have asked: Why her? He had to wonder about that himself.

On the surface, Milah and Emma seemed totally different, from their outward appearances to their innermost desires. Milah had craved adventure, romance, and escape from her narrow domestic life, to the point that she was willing to leave her family behind. Emma was the opposite: she would do anything for her family, but all she wanted was a safe, normal life. She only went on adventures out of necessity, and she shielded herself from possible romantic attachments. Milah had been drawn to Captain Killian Jones's strength and bravery, seeing him as someone who would fight for her as her cowardly husband never would, whereas Emma seemed determined to show that she did not need anyone to fight for her, least of all Captain Hook.

On the other proverbial hand, the two women shared some similarities. They were both mothers who had given up the chance to raise their sons, though for opposite reasons; they both came to regret that decision later on. They both wanted a better life than the one they had been stuck in, and were defiant against those who tried to hold them back. They both knew how to take charge in a crisis, and could think and act quickly when it counted most. They were both passionate and protective, willing to risk their lives when someone they loved was in danger.

Not for the first time, Hook wondered what Milah would have thought of Emma. He had already given up his quest for vengeance, first for his own survival and then to save Henry. He believed Milah would have understood and supported those decisions: she would have wanted her lover to survive, and she would have wanted her grandson to be alright.

Now, though, new questions surfaced in Hook's mind. Would Milah have approved of this—whatever was developing between him and Emma? Would he be dishonoring Milah's memory if he pursued a woman earnestly, exclusively, for the long haul? He had had plenty of one-night flings and affairs of varying lengths during his travels, but that was different than giving his heart to someone, after believing it would only ever belong to Milah.

He had clung to his first love, and his grief and anger over her loss, because he had nothing else to direct him, nothing else to give his life meaning and purpose. But that was what Emma and her family were doing now … and Hook found that he did not want to hold on to those old motives. He might have felt a little guilt over it, but he did not think Milah could have faulted him, if she was aware of what was happening. Surely two hundred or so years was enough time to mourn a lost love before finding a new one.

Thinking of old loves made Hook think of Baelfire, or Neal, who Emma was still mourning. The visit to his cave had been emotional for Hook, but it had been positively triggering for Emma. While she did not speak much of Neal in his presence, Hook could gather that she had loved the man very much. He recognized the new—or perhaps renewed—look of heartbreak in her eyes: it was the same look he had carried for so many years.

And then there was the matter of Henry, who seemed to be the most important person in Emma's life. Hook had never even been properly introduced to him. He had no idea what Henry thought of him, or how the boy would react to his mother being with a pirate—or anyone, after finding and losing his father in such a short span of time. And though David and Snow were warming up to Hook, they probably would have preferred for their daughter to choose a partner with a better reputation than his.

Hook did not expect to take Neal's place in Emma's heart, or that of her family. But after that kiss … he was starting to believe he could have a place in her heart, alongside them—if not now, perhaps someday in the future, if they lived long enough.

Despite all the confusion and uncertainty of their situation, Hook felt happier and more hopeful than he had in a long time, and certainly more than he had ever felt in Neverland. In his past years there, he had been driven by his quest for revenge, but he had known that was a dark path leading to an ending rather than a beginning.

Now, he was starting to believe that he and Emma could actually have … something. Something meaningful. Something significant. Something powerful.

Something that was only beginning.

Author's Note: I would really appreciate feedback on this chapter! It may have been the hardest of all the chapters I've planned for this series.