Chapter 3 - Reckless Abandon
I'd always imagined Harm would be a passionate lover, a man to take his time, enjoy foreplay and make me quiver with anticipation while I beg for release. Perhaps that was a dream designed by the woman in me that believed in romance and fairytales and my knight in a shiny F-14.
The reality was a hard landing into his mattress and the hands I longed to map out every inch of my skin roughly turning me over so that my back was to his front. I always wanted to look at him as we made love and see the change in his face, the darkening of his eyes as we joined together. But this Harm is not the one of my fantasies, he's colder now and I can feel the anger and hatred in his touch as his hands gripped my hips.
His digging fingers will undoubtedly leave a mark and my soul will forever be tainted by this kind of sex but, I don't care. I want him to take me and do what he wishes with me. Maybe then I could move on and find the peace that always eludes me. I try to turn and look at him but with a firm hand on my back, Harm stops me.
"I don't want to look at you." I hear him say and it's neither strangled nor pained. It's the voice of a man with so much anger it severed that impeccable control of his. That's when I feel him, the tip of his cock sliding between my wet folds. Yeah, I'm wet and aroused and just as angry as he is.
Harm stops with the tip of him barely inside me. I hear a ragged breath, a deep sigh and imagine he's regretting this decision. It's foolish and dangerous but the alternative is the numb feeling I'd been living with since Paraguay and I'm done with our dance. I want to stop it once and for all.
He hisses when I push myself back against him, an act that ends his mental struggle. The movement makes his breath catch and not a moment later his hands grip my hips harder as his length fills me without warning. He bends me forward, my hands bracing on the mattress and as soon as he withdraws he pushes back into me again and again and again with such ferocity that it hurts.
It isn't slow and it isn't gentle but the hard fuck I deserved. He fills me completely, makes me come within minutes and leaves this woman an incoherent mess from the rawest passion that I've never experienced before. I push myself against him as he slows down urging him to finish but instead he reaches one hand between my thighs where Harm finds the bundle of nerves that makes me scream his name.
He's barely thrusting into me and I'm already coming again, my inner muscles clamping down on his cock so hard it makes him shake. "Fuck, Mac." My name is a strangle gasp and I feel his fingers at my hips, pulling me violently into him.
He urges me onto the bed on all fours. Slides out of my sex and quickly is inside me again. There's no restraint this time, no slowing down to intimately stroke me until I come. His hard length is unyielding, his body slamming into mine with reckless abandon that the sound of skin slapping skin is audible.
Despite myself, I want this. I want him, whatever the cost. My body is his for the taking as I feel the sweet warmth of the hardest orgasm I've ever experienced. With a yell, he spills himself inside me and his body bends at the waist, collapsing against my back.
I expect a kiss that never comes and a sweet caress that was absolutely absent. He pulls out of me a second later and I'm grateful at the loss of contact because my aching body couldn't take his weight any longer. My arms and legs are trembling, each sinew if nerves and muscles unable to stop from shaking so I drop to my side and roll onto my back still trying to find my breath.
Harm's equally breathless, laying on his stomach with his head facing the opposite way. He still can't look at me and the grief of what we'd just done weighs on me like a twenty ton anchor.
I wanted to leave and even tried to when Harm's breathing evened out and the typical male response after sex had him dozing peacefully. Or so I thought because the moment I shifted slightly his long arm gently came down across my middle. Harm's fingers curled at my waist, his touch gentle now and the mixed messages between us continued on despite our messy tryst.
I stifled a yawn against the palm of my hand, tried to ignore my heavy eyes and the pleasant lethargy that bathed my body. But I'm too powerless to stop myself from fading and not a minute later I'm asleep.