04 - 05 - 1982

Sugawara no Michizane was born into a scholarly family, grew up to be a great scholar, became a tycoon in court politics, then died in exile after losing everything he built with his life.

He became a vengeful spirit who rained storms and lightning, who cursed the Emperor Daigo's sons to death and terrorized heian with his revenge.

Sugawara no Michizane was deified as appeasement for his unfair demise and later became one of the three greatest vengeful spirits of Japan who is now revered as the god of scholarly knowledge.

It's ridiculous just how easy it is to be acknowledged as a literal god by spreading pure terror and showing the might of power.

But then again, if he hadn't become who he is today, then Kagura would've been living a completely different life by now. A simple mundane life, one she could bear through because at the end of the road it really doesn't matter what she does because it always boils down to ashes and urns. Or a box and a six feet deep hole in the soil. And then she'd either play koto behind the pearly gates or burn in fire of different levels of intensity.

With the kind of person Kagura is, she'd lean more towards standing in a limbo for eternity because the gods wouldn't know where it'd be more appropriate to send such a painfully average creature as her.

Now though, now the god born from the desire for revenge of a dead man receives the prayers of hundreds and thousands of students every year so that they can make it to college. Funnily enough, Kagura's mother prays to him too, everyday without fail, but for things not as simple as a letter of acceptance from the University of Tokyo.

Kagura is eleven when her mother spots the dried red stains on her white shorts - the ones with the tiny bear prints that completed her favourite outfit with her cute bear print frock.

She drags Kagura away as soon as she steps out of the bath and stuffs her inside a small room with no windows and small wired holes close to the ceiling.

Kagura ends up spending one week every month inside that room for the rest of her time at their clan house. She eats bland food during those days, wears only a plain white yukata and gets to speak only with her mother when she brings her food, water and takes her to the adjacent bathroom slash toilet to keep her sanitized.

Kagura- the before Kagura was a cheerful and obedient daughter who was pampered like a princess by her father. Yet despite her obedience, the only thing that could keep her content in that room was the promise of unlimited mochi at the end of the week. She spent her time playing with her dolls and coloring books while she planned what flavor of mochi to eat or think about which spot would be the best to play Ken-ken-pa and Daruma-san at with her cousins once the week was up.

The Kagura now is still as docile as ever if only quieter because frankly, she thinks more than words she knows to put her thoughts into. The now Kagura also officiates weddings between her dolls, colors her books, dreams of mochi and if there's a difference from before Kagura, then it is that she asks for books to read to pass her boredom.

Before Kagura didn't like to read books outside of her curriculum, in fact her mother would have to force her every evening with the looming threat of a long thin bamboo stick met with wobbly lips and watery eyes to get her to do her homework.

Needless to say, the first time now Kagura asks for books to read, her parents are surprised, but it joys her mother and her father swoops her up in a hug exclaiming how his little Kagurahime was going to grow into a little scholarly lady. That very month Kagura marches inside her monthly quarantine chamber with a thick book containing the first 100 of the total of 550 previous birth tales of Buddha clutched under one armpit and a bowl of pickle stuffed rice balls held in her hands.

The book fascinates her and before the week is up she finishes it and demands for more. Her astonished mother wordlessly brings her a thicker book containing all 550 tales and Kagura soaks them up over the course of two quarantine weeks.

The tales are bizarre, full of consequences of karma and self sacrificing bodhisattva's. She sees with her mind's eyes the halfbreed son of the terrible yakshini run through mountains and thick woods with his heart in his throat and his old brahmin father on his back while his monstrous mother is out hunting. The sixteen year old being desperate to finish the stretch of 91.68 miles of his mother's territory to enter the human kingdom and save his human father's life.

Or instead of sleeping during nighttime she pictures on her ceiling the great monkey king using his own body as a bridge for his brethren to escape the mango tree while the archers of the human king greedy to capture the sweet fruits for himself rain arrows on them. The arrows don't even pierce his thick fur. In the end the monkey king dies when his jealous and wicked cousin vying for the throne of the monkey kingdom jumps on his back from a great height when it is his turn to cross and pierces the king's heart with his own broken backbone.

Kagura wonders how a heart can possibly bleed so much for the world when she finishes the tale of king Shibi.

"As he sat in the court one day, a sparrow sought refuge in his lap, while being chased by a falcon. The falcon demanded the sparrow from the king as it constituted his means of subsistence. Accepting the falcon's rights, the king offered his own flesh in order to fulfill his duty of protecting his subjects."

The unwavering kindness of the bodhisattva's fascinates her. And she wonders if having a penchant for being a self sacrificing idiot is the key to enlightenment. What lesson did Buddha learn after suffering through nearly half a thousand rebirths? Did he even have a heart left after bleeding hundreds of times for the woes of others?

The next time when she poses her doubts regarding the lesson learnt from the tales while asking for another book to read, her mother - her serene beautiful mother chuckles behind her kimono sleeves and hands her an even thicker book.

The book, ends up being the complete biography of Buddha.

"Let me ask you instead, what do you think was his state of mind after being born into his final life with the innumerable knowledge worth 550 lifetimes?"

And the next quarantine week, when Kagura reaches the end of the first chapter of the book after finishing the part where Siddhartha's mother holds onto the Sal tree's branch for support as the to-be enlightened one emerges from her womb and takes his first seven steps onto earth - she laughs as she reads his first words of his last life.

"I am chief of the world,

Eldest am I in the world,

Foremost am I in the world.

This is the last birth.

There is now no more coming to be."

"Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the Honoured One."

Arrogant.