Bleach Cross/Across the Dimensions:
Series: The Fifth Division in the Red:
Story: Fifth Division in the Red: The Intermission
Spoof within a spoof! Marriage of Princesses may have to have an early season finale when the studio runs out of funds. Can any of the incarnations of Shirayukihime no Tenjou solve this problem? WARNING: CONTAINS MATURE THEMES!

Author's Note: Unless otherwise noted, although written here in English, dialogue is intended to be in Japanese. Mandarin Chinese dialogue is in bold, except for names.

This is a work of fanfiction using characters and elements from Bleach, which is property of Tite Kubo and applicable others. Eugena does not claim any ownership to the original Bleach characters or world. This fanwork is written for entertainment purposes and not for profit. See also disclaimer and/or author's note(s) at the end of chapter.

Chapter One Written 03/23/2024.

天国的白雪公主

Opening Theme: Growl (Stage Version) [Studio Version]
(Exology Chapter 1: The Lost Planet (Live)) by EXO
Ending Theme: TBA

Bleach: Cross
Series: The Fifth Division in the Red:
Story: Fifth Division in the Red: The Intermission
By Eugena

Rated M

Chapter One: Chilling Out

天国的白雪公主

TELEVISION STUDIO

"She is the TEEN dating an ADULT!"

(But that's okay!)

(This adaptation is so f-d up!)

"She is the one named PLANET - !"

"PLANET PE -."

"Enough already!"

The studio lights flickered over to the tall, thin woman who blew up the monitor showing anime.

The many guests on the couches near the television turned to see Shirahime Taizifei as her American self, black hair instead of white, green eyes instead of blue.

"Oh, good!" Orihime exclaimed. "We were all getting bored watching badly animated anime!"

"Not to mention the part where Planet Moon's little girl tried to murder her so she could marry her father," Chad said.

"Sounds like Greek Mythology to me," Shirahime said.

"That's being too generous, Shifu," Uryu said.

"So," Shirahime began, "I've been busy speaking with the Japanese people having to deal with hate crimes because they are ethnically Korean, while all of you are - chilling out watching tv?"

Momo Hinamori nervously cleared her throat. "Well, you see, Taicho. That is -. That is to say -."

"To say what?" Shirahime asked.

"Well, we ran out of money after filming the special effect where made Raiko incarnate and Yukihime Suzunami materialize."

"We are out of money - again?" Shirahime asked. "I'm even lowering myself to date racist people here. What else are you all expecting me to do?"

The room turned cold as Yachiru ran in playing with Kosetsu, who was in dragon form.

"You could just admit you are Japanese," a woman who looked like Shirahime should look like said.

Renji Abarai looked nervously between newcomer Yukihime Suzunami and Shirahime Thorne. He stood. "Yukihime Shinnouhi," he said, "I have to take Shirahime Taizifei's side on this one. She is American, and she has a RIGHT to be an American."

"Unlike those annoying people who tell her she has to label herself," Momo added.

"I just don't get why you keep fighting it," Yukihime said.

"Well, my past life is Chinese, at least that's the closest mortal group you'll get to. I could care less. I'm American now and proud of it.

Kosetsu waved a miniature American flag in his mouth. Raiko formed right beside him and gave him a smooch on his nose. As she turned back, everyone could read her shirt: "Stop Footnoting Comfort Women!" Daichi came in carrying a basket of fruit. As he put them down, everyone could read his shirt: "Remember Who Sent Thousands to North Korea!"

"Mama," Raiko began, "aren't we supposed to be helping the Japanese victims of hate crimes today? Why are we here?"

"Maybe you can expand on your explanation, Momo," Shirahime suggested.

"I'd like to help," Chad volunteered. "I'm not 100% ethnically Japanese, so I deal with racism all the time. I'm glad I'm not part Korean. That would be worse than being part Mexican around here!"

"Watered blood like you should leave!" Byakuya Kuchiki demanded. "YOUR BLOOD IS TOO THIN!"

"If you follow up your comment with ethnic Koreans need to go to North Korea, I am going to torture you to death," Shirahime warned.

"Don't bother," Yukihime said as she thrust her hand inside of Byakuya's chest and pulled out his intestines.

"Nii-sama!" Rukia exclaimed.

"I'm beginning to understand why people get so annoyed when I say KUROSAKI-KUUUUUUUN!"

"Can I kill her now?" Rukia asked. "That is pretty annoying. Don't you have any other lines?"

"But that's my favorite. If I can't have Ichigo, I'll just die. I just know I will."

"What, you want someone to go ahead and kill you then?" Rukia asked.

"No, we're not done with the current season," Shirahime said, "she's still a main character."

"But Taicho," Momo whined, "we don't even have enough money to film the rest of the season!"

"Hey, racist Kuchiki," Shirahime said, "I'll consider letting you live if you fund our season."

"I've already paid top dollar to sleep with you!" Kuchiki exclaimed between gasps of agony.

"Just what show do you think we are putting on here?" Yukihime asked. "Lin! Jiang!" she called.

After a bit of shuffling and footsteps backstage, Jiang appeared. "Shinnouhi! Taizifei! Guess who I found here!"

"My annoying ex-husband?" Shirahime asked.

"Oh, so much more than that!" Lin exclaimed from off-stage.

Everyone gasped as the two members of the Shinnouhi Royal Guard dragged in Prince Ichigo and the younger Ichigo Kurosaki along with yet another Ichigo Kurosaki.

谢谢你们的阅读。

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading!

Can the group fund the show again?

Who is that third Ichigo?

天国的白雪公主

AUTHOR'S NOTE - DISCLAIMER:

This work is a transformative fanwork, written for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. Canon characters and backstories are copyright to Tite Kubo and applicable others. Original characters and original backstories are created by Eugena. The backstories of several canon characters and some canon elements have been significantly modified for the purposes of this fanwork. These modified characters and modified elements should not be taken as canon from the original Bleach and may not necessarily reflect Bleach's copyright holder(s) original intentions. Works rated M or MA are not intended to be read by minors.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this work are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

The author hopes this work will help readers further enjoy the original Bleach.

谢谢你们的阅读。