Never Say Never

A/N: This little nugget spans from 2x08 (flashback) to 2x12 (present). I hope you enjoy!

—-

"Honey, just because you can't see what's going on, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't see what's going on!"

Lanie's words echoed in Kate's mind as she sped-walked down the precinct hallway. The echoes felt like a taunt, like a pinprick being shoved repeatedly into the back of her head. It made her feel raw, exposed, to be called out like that, and she bristled with embarrassment even though no one had been around to hear Lanie's theory.

She wouldn't admit to anyone, not even herself, that maybe Lanie had a point. That there might be more beneath the surface, where her and Castle were concerned. (But there wasn't. That was ridiculous.) In fact, she kept her eyes forward, swallowed her emotions like she'd been taught in the academy, and raised her chin in silent protest.

It didn't matter that Castle's affections were redirected, because of this case. It didn't matter that she was no longer the target of his teasing, his playful jabs. She didn't like it when he did that, anyway. She supposed she should be thanking Kyra, for sobering Castle up a bit.

There was nothing going on between her and Castle. They were work colleagues. Friends, perhaps, depending on the day. Nothing more.

(No, that gut-twisting, heart-squeezing sensation was not jealousy. It wasn't. Because Kate had nothing to be jealous of.)

She raised her chin higher.

—-

Esposito handed her the folder with a smirk on his face. She wasn't sure what it meant, but when she lifted her eyebrow, throwing him the silent question, his eyes flicked down to the folder, urging her to open it. Kate's stomach tightened. She wasn't sure she wanted to see what was inside.

She flipped it open, seeing the series of photos printed and in order, in all their glossy glory.

Castle had gone to see Kyra, on some rooftop terrace. And he'd kissed her.

Like she wasn't about to marry someone else. Like she wasn't a suspect in a murder investigation.

Like she was someone who he still harbored feelings for. Like someone who he thought "made the stars shine."

Kate couldn't help the sinking feeling in her chest even if she tried. (But god, did she try.)

—-

Getting Castle to tell her the truth was almost too easy. She could see the guilt lining his face the moment he walked up to her with coffees in hand as she sat in a trance at her desk. She honestly didn't even know what she was working on. It all kind of blurred at the edges, and Kyra Blaine was in the center of it all.

She didn't care about the chair. Not really. But the anger that leaked into her tone needed to originate from somewhere. She couldn't hide it, so it was best if he thought it was coming from somewhere else. The chair seemed like a good stand-in. He had left it higher than she liked it, and it was almost too easy to work in the right wordplay to tease him. (She'd wanted to see Castle squirm, and she didn't know why. She wasn't entirely sure what she was punishing him for.)

Kate didn't understand anything about what was happening to her, if she was being honest. She didn't know why everything about Kyra Blaine was getting under her skin. Why every move Castle made irritated her in a way she couldn't put into words. But when he finally admitted to seeing her, Kate realized she might understand some of it.

It felt like he was going behind her back. It felt like they'd started keeping secrets. It felt like, for the first time in a long time, she wasn't the one with his undivided attention, and that fact made Kate feel sick to her stomach.

And truthfully, Kate had no idea when that had become something she valued. She had no idea what Lanie was seeing, and why, and how to rectify what she felt with how she wanted to feel. Because at some point, those two conflicting points of view were going to collide, and Kate didn't know how to stop the inevitable explosion before it was too late.

—-

Kate pretended to be busy. She couldn't risk Kyra or Castle seeing her stare at them, watching the emotional goodbye as the beautiful brunette laid her hand on his shoulder in the conference room. She fumbled at her desk, trying to find something, anything, to do to appear occupied when Kyra Blaine emerged from the double doors, stopping short at her desk.

"He's all yours," she said lightly, her face bright and smiling.

Kate blinked, unsure of Kyra's meaning. What was it with everyone thinking there was something between them? And even if there was something, it certainly wasn't romantic interest; it couldn't be. Attraction, perhaps, between two attractive people. But why was everyone always insinuating that there was more between them when there wasn't?

What did that statement even mean, anyway? He's all yours. Kate didn't want Castle to be hers, and neither did he. If he'd wanted to ask her out, he'd had the last year to do so. But he hadn't.

Kate looked through the double doors at Castle, who was playing with the recorder, lost at sea in his own thoughts.

Thoughts, Kate knew, that did not involve her.

—-

It surprised Kate that she was asked to come to Kyra's wedding. She was sure that there were other guests who were closer to the bride and groom who should be there in her place, but Castle had insisted that Kyra asked them both to be there, end of discussion.

The hotel graciously allowed her to keep her ceremony in the same ballroom they'd booked two days prior, and the guest list was considerably shorter than it had been before the murder. It was kind of beautiful, actually. The intimacy of it all. Kyra wore a different dress and the ceremony was cut down to just the vows, and 'By the power vested in me.' Neither Kyra nor Greg seemed to mind one bit. They looked happy.

She clapped, applauding the new bride and groom, and then Kyra turned to her, grinning brightly. Kate smiled back, genuinely happy for her and her ability to find joy in the wake of this tumultuous weekend, their loss. And the next thing Kate knew, the bouquet was being tossed right back at her head. She caught it, flabbergasted, and let out a surprised huff of a laugh.

She tucked the bouquet against her chest, clapping even harder.

"You know what that means, don't you?" Castle murmured against her ear as the couple walked back down the aisle to the double doors.

She turned to face him, and found him smiling brightly down at her.

A memory sparked, then. From a month ago. They'd been in a similar ballroom, with golden accents and surrounded with fresh flowers. She'd yanked him to the side, and his face had been just as close then as it was now.

"I need to talk to you," she'd urged.

"About what?" he'd asked, eyebrows narrowed.

Kate had frowned, mortified at having this conversation here, now, after just speaking with Jeff Dilahunt.

"He asked us if we were together," she hissed, and Castle's mouth fell open slightly.

"Yeah? So? It was an honest question."

Kate's lips pursed. "It's not the question, Castle. It was your response!"

She could see his cheeks turn pink as he smiled slyly. "What, Beckett? You have a problem with my answer?"

She'd said they were "absolutely not" together. Castle had said a very telling, very heavy, "Not yet." It had both delighted and confused her, angered and surprised her. She'd been dizzy for the last ten minutes, just thinking about it.

She didn't know what to say to him now, so she just repeated his answer back to him. "Not yet?"

Castle grinned, unphased. "What, are you a fortune teller?"

"No, but–"

"Then never say never," he murmured, his voice low and his face so close she could feel his breath.

She paused. "Never, Castle," Kate huffed. "Never. I'm saying never." But he'd already walked away by the time she got the words out. She doubted he could hear her over the din of the ballroom. After a few intense, world-shifting moments, Kate found her feet and followed after him.

"Kate," Castle said, bringing her back to the present day. The guests were following Kyra and Greg out into the hallway. His hand was resting lightly on her shoulder blade.

"I'm –" she huffed out another low laugh. She shook her head. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"About what I said?"

Kate's forehead creased. "What you said?"

He grinned. "Yeah. About the bouquet."

Kate remembered. "Ah. Yeah. About that." They turned, following the rest of the guests. "I will very likely never get married, Castle. It's just a silly tradition to throw the bouquet. It doesn't mean anything."

Castle's hand shot out, gripping her elbow. He was so close it felt like his body heat, his aura, was wrapping around her like a cocoon.

"What did I say, Kate? Never say never."

His eyes sparkled, but his smile shone brighter than the sun. The memory. He remembered it too. He was thinking of it now, just as she was. It caused a shiver to skitter across her skin.

He was still looking down at her, hand still caressing her elbow, when Kate whispered, "Okay. I won't."

Because who really knew? Perhaps Lanie was right, and there was something there she just couldn't see.

But maybe someday, she might.