STLTH 100

This chapter was comprised of… well, THIS, and the next, that being chapter 17. It was getting kinda long, outspanning the original chapter word limit of 1-2k words. While I had done longer chapters before, the biggest problem was that the themes between the content were drastically different, not to mention the dizzying amount of characters entering randomly and breaking the flow.

So, here's chapter 16.1, I guess.

16.

"Hi," the girl called nonchalantly, waving to Higgs, "have you seen Marco?"

The squire was sitting on the lowermost steps leading up to the entrance to the monster temple. An unintentional vantage point, Higgs could easily spectate the ins and outs of everyone in the front yard as she waited for Eclipsa's return; the morning had been fervent with incensed women since Marco's exit. She had watched the newcomer approach her, like the many other victims of Marco's theft – and true to a script they all had in common – the newcomer had asked her if she knew where Marco was.

Maybe all the women were organizing, networking, and pooling information to find Marco.

This newcomer, however, didn't look like the typical mewman girl: she was dark-skinned with a forest of green hair that reached down to her ankles, and she lugged a massive broadsword that was nearly as big as herself. Higgs was sure that she'd seen her type before and racked her brains until she was insighted that the girl was a woolett. Notwithstanding this, Higgs offered her side of the bizarre script, the same tart response she gave everyone else: "Marco came and left."

"Oh. If you see him, could you tell him that I'm looking for him?"

This one was new. The investigative victims usually needled her, trying to find out which direction Marco took, how he traveled, for Higgs' theories as to where he could be. They didn't want to pass on messages or anything else adjacent to the sort. Regardless, the girl was still the same by circumstance: this new arrival must've been the fifteenth or twentieth that morning that had passed through looking for Marco, and Higgs' patience had run dry more than ten people ago. "I'm sure he knows."

"Oh." The girl looked dejected. She plunged her broadsword into the ground with sudden force and casually leaned on it. "So. You too, huh?"

A query if she had also been left bare-assed in the wake of Marco's panty-thieving spree. "Yeah." Higgs realized that the newcomer was trying to make conversation, something that wasn't welcome. She was sleep exhausted, nearly hungry enough to hallucinate about food, and had more problems than she could count on two hands. "Bye."

"If you see him," the girl repeated, "could you please tell him that Kelly's looking for him?"

Higgs was annoyed, and she got up to look down on the woolett. "I'll add your name to the list," she snarled, seeing that the girl was actively refusing to take the hint. "Just go away. What're you planning on doing anyway, huh? You were gonna chop his head off or something?"

If Kelly had large eyes before, they were now white dinner plates behind her glasses. "What, this old thing?" Kelly looked to the sword, then back to the squire, protesting, "No! Of course not!"

"Oh, sure. I know a woolett when I see one. Fighting is the ONLY thing the lot of you live for. Why the hell should I have to tell you anything?"

She'd let slip that she knew or at least had an idea of where Marco could be found, and Kelly called her out on it. "So what if I'm a woolett? Marco's my friend, I wouldn't hurt him. Weird stuff happens all the time, so this is just some new weird thing we have to deal with. I know he wouldn't do something like this intentionally. I just need to find out what's wrong with him and get my clothes back." The girl paused and glanced away, nearly going blue in the face. "Well… there's that… and my mom is looking for him too, so I really need to find him first."

How the woolett mentioned her mother didn't instill confidence in Higgs. She wasn't subtle; in fact, it was as if she was implying that her mother wouldn't leave enough of Marco for an open casket.

"Then what's the sword for?"

"Sometimes I use it for peeling and splitting apples."

Higgs stared at the girl, wondering if she was stupid. "You use that big sword to peel apples?"

"Yeah." Kelly smiled. "And if I find out that Marco actually did this because he wanted to, then it'll peel him too, I guess." This got Higgs to laugh. Kelly had set up a good joke – though corny – and the suggested violence that she had fully expected from the woolett would only come second to conflict resolution. It was clear that her compassion was miles ahead of her capacity for aggression, and when she told Kelly that she was strange for a woolett, Kelly was visibly annoyed but in the end giggled as if she was proud of it.

"I don't think he's ever mentioned you before."

Kelly asked, "What's your name?" Higgs told her, and Kelly shrugged. "He's never mentioned you before, either."

It made sense that Marco had so many friends that they all didn't know one another, Higgs mused. She believed that Kelly sounded sincere enough, and that she could use her to find Marco. The squire neither had the means, energy nor willingness to leave the safety that Eclipsa could provide her to find Marco, but the same wasn't true for his friends. Furthermore, his friends knew him well enough to ask questions first and pummel later; she could easily convince them to bring him to the safety that Eclipsa could guarantee before the mobs found him.

There was also the fact that assisting them to find Marco would help prove to him that she was sorry for what she had done, and it ought to go a long way in helping mend their relationship.

Higgs sat down again, becoming contemplative. "I've got an idea about where he is. You're his friend, aren't you?" Kelly nodded. "Listen, it's not his fault. He's cursed, and that's what's making him do this. You've got scissors?" In response, Kelly produced a blue pair from her pocket and spun them around on an index finger.

"Not exactly mine, but yeah."

"A lot of girls are looking for Marco, and they're gonna put him through a clothes wringer ass first," Higgs explained. "You have to find him and bring him here so we can hide him. He's the last person that deserves the beating that's coming to him."

"Anything to help. But where can I start looking? I can't find him anywhere. I hear that he's been all over the place, but no one can find him."

The first and only other time Marco had stolen on this scale was on the night of the celebration. After a night spent thieving, he'd returned to his bed, his home point of sorts. When Marco had been within arm's length stealing her underwear, he stank of corn moonshine, a rural variety of overproof liquor that was high with the fumes of chemicals more suited for lanterns instead of consumption.

Higgs had it only once, and it had kicked like a warnicorn.

She didn't know what possessed Marco into thinking that it was fine to drink: maybe it was a risky nightcap, or he was trying to make his curse return his items, or he could've been depressed drinking. Higgs wasn't sure which had been the catalyst but she did know that there were only a few villages that had that variety of beverage and fewer still that would serve it to someone as obviously underaged as Marco. Even fewer were the actual establishments that served it. Furthermore, those that did typically rented beds because whoever drank the stuff usually ended up nearly instantly plastered – it was a good way to either scam the victim out of more money for a rented bed, or worse.

Marco was certain to be in the bedroom closest to wherever he got the brew.

However, this hinged on Marco not waking up before he got back to his bed, or not having already been beaten to a paste by the mob that was no doubt still searching for him.

"Marco's out in the sticks," Higgs said matter of factly. "Definitely upstairs in a tavern. When he's done stealing, he'll go back to his bed. So long as no one stops him from getting there first."

"So… where–"

"South-west. Way down in the south-west."

"Could you be more specific–"

Higgs squinched up her face. "Really close to the Forest of Probable Itchiness, but still fairly close to Connerie River. You'll know it when you start seeing bumpkins." Kelly visibly faltered at the news.

"Oh man, I HATE that forest. Anyway, exactly how do you know this? This feels like a wild goose chase, and that forest didn't get that name on accident."

The squire didn't volunteer that this incident had happened only once before. All she had was a strong hunch and telling Kelly this would get them nowhere. "Marco's been drinking camp fuel," Higgs said, "And that's what most of them drink down there instead of water." As expected, Kelly remained skeptical but the more she seemed to consider what the squire said, the more she apparently realized that she had a monumental task, which would equate to the same degree of wasted time if she couldn't find Marco after all. "If you can't even find a trace of him in an hour," Higgs assured, "you can just come back."

Kelly stared at her intensely for a moment. "Need Jorby's help with this one." She cut open a portal, but before she left, she turned back to look at Higgs. "Calling me strange but you're plenty strange yourself. I can't get your vibe and I still can't figure out if you're Marco's friend or not. If you knew where he was, why didn't you go get him yourself?"

The answer was simple and yet complicated. Rocam was the simple response – but he complicated things in every which way possible – and the last thing Higgs wanted was for him to catch her alone again.

"It's just because I don't have scissors," Higgs lied.

"If I find him and bring him here, you better not make me regret it, or you're the one who's gonna get peeled."

Higgs didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure if the threat was meant to be a joke or serious – the girl sounded like she meant it. Before she could ask Kelly to determine the gravity of the threat, the girl was gone, and she left her sword there, still planted in the yard mere feet away from the squire. Leaving the sword behind likely meant that she was true to what she claimed: Kelly wanted to help him, and equivalently meant that the apple peeler might be used to flay the squire later if she defaulted in any way.

Higgs almost smiled. Even if anything were to compromise her integrity in the future, she at least would always be able to count on Marco's friends to keep her honest.