At the top of the steps of the Jade Palace, Tigress admired the magnificent panorama offered by the sky, a some sort of reward for her many exploits, made up of shades of orange and pink entwined around the sun. She stood erect, awaiting the return of Zeng, the messenger who had left to fetch the Dragon Warrior. It was Shifu who had sent him urgently. Po was seriously lacking in punctuality. And he was going to pay for it, she thought, glancing at her old master. Shifu was about to "blow a gasket", as Monkey had vulgarly put it, which earned him a scowl from Crane. Tigress then noticed that the hills partially hiding the sun were a smaragdin green, like Po's eyes. The warrior smiled to herself as she thought of the latecomer. She turned round and noticed that all her brothers-in-arms were silent. After all, no one was shocked by the panda's cruel lack of punctuality. Or perhaps none of them wanted to disturb the incensed old master.
Behind her, Shifu huffed in exasperation as he took sips from a cup of tea that was about to break under his iron fist. He mentally listed the most barbaric ways of making the latecomer suffer. How can this panda be so carefree, he thought. He had warned Po very early on that a very high adviser to the Emperor was coming. The adviser in question was there, but not the Dragon Warrior. He was a stag, haughty, but of great virtue and uncommon eloquence", he admitted reluctantly, who was currently losing patience inside the Hall of Heroes. Tradition demanded that the masters welcome him, including the Dragon Warrior. And the geese had offered to entertain him by talking to him and introducing him to the many artefacts in the Hall of Heroes. At least, they seemed to be entertaining, as he hadn't heard the adviser complain. He also made a mental note to wake Po with a bucket of ice water every day for the rest of his life.
Monkey looked at his master, and his eyebrows were so furrowed he thought they would fall from his brow bones. He prayed that Po had a very good reason for being away for so long. Otherwise, he was already preparing his eulogy speech in front of his fathers and his shocked face at the news of the Dragon Warrior's death, which he had unfortunately already anticipated. The simian knew that welcoming someone of such high status was important, but it wasn't worth the loss of his eyebrows or the appearance of new wrinkles on his face.
Crane readjusted his hat on his head and wondered what Po was doing. He knew he wasn't the epitome of punctuality but efforts wouldn't require him the moon. It's wasn't shocking, thought. He also wondered whether he should continue reading Anh Dao's Manifesto of the Great Kingdoms, which he had found boring but useful for general knowledge. But recently Viper had given him a novel, The Dream in the Red Pavilion by Cao Xueqin, which was excellent, but full of erotic scenes. Viper had always shocked him with her open-mindedness. He turned his head and took a long look at the charming reptile - it wasn't for nothing that she was called The Splendiferous Master.
Meanwhile, Mantis was mentally debating whether an octopus was just a wet spider.
Viper was overjoyed. Overjoyed? That was clearly an understatement. She was ecstatic. Mei-Mei is engaged. To whom? She didn't know and she didn't want to know. Ever since Li Shan had informed her that Po and Mei-Mei had been engaged in their mother's womb, she had doubts about Po and Tigress reuniting. It was already hard enough to get them to admit their feelings for each other because of the Dragon Warrior's shyness and the Iron Master's pride. And now a third person had to get involved. At last, this news had given her renewed hope in their relationship, and inspired the reptilian warrior to start choosing names for Po and Tigress's as yet non-existent children.
Finally, on seeing Shifu's face, Viper saw her hopes for the future couple diminish.
At last, the noisy beating brought the masters out of their thoughts and Zeng sprang from the sky and planted himself, staggering and croaking, in front of the Jade Palace.
« So ? » Shifu asked. He stood up immediately, giving the poor bird no time to catch his breath. The other warriors stood around him, apprehensive for an answer. Zeng, his breathing erratic, was unable to speak but simply pointed with his feather to the bottom of the Thousand Steps. The masters looked at the pointed area and noticed black and white spots slowly climbing the steps. The Pandas. Shifu breathed out in relief and the students relaxed.
But as they climbed the steps, Shifu and the Furious Five noticed something and gasped for breath:
Li Shan was walking up with Po's left arm around his shoulders, Po was half unconscious and his head fell on his father's shoulder with Ping walking beside them and Mei-Mei following.
Once they reached the top of the stairs, the Furious Five ran up to Po and Tigress grabbed his face in her paws, panicking, and looked at him for any sign of injury. There were none.
The masters then looked at Li Shan.
« He's fine, don't worry, he's my son anyway... » Li began, rubbing the back of his neck with a very embarrassed smile. He was clearly Po's father.
« Then why is he knocked out like that ?! » Shifu exclaimed, interrupting him. While Po, with a little bit of consciousness, had let go of his father and clung on to Tigress, forcing her to kneel with him in her arms. Li Shan did the same.
"He's been drinking" intervened Ping, always to the point.
« Indeed, he's been drinking. His breath really stinks.» laughed Mantis, standing on the drunken man's belly.« My little boy didn't hold back. » Tigress pulled her face away from Po's to protect her sensitive nose from the alcohol.
« But why ? »Shifu shouted.
« It's a very long story, as it was my engagement party... »began Mei-Mei.
« In fact, I don't want to know » spat Shifu, interrupting her curtly.
This earned him a glare from Mei-Mei.
« Poor guy », Crane complained, pointing to the comatose warrior in Tigress's arms.« He doesn't take alcohol very well, he'll probably wake up with one of his hangovers ». Viper nodded in agreement along with him.
« We'll have to remember to lay him on his side or he'll choke on his own vomit and will die like a turd. » laughed Monkey as he leaned over Po.
Finally, he realised that the vomit wasn't going to choke him, but that Shifu's hands were going to.
While the others chatted, Shifu rubbed his temples at the parry in front of him. He was about to throw the panda down the stairs, at last he had some restraint. What was he going to tell the counsellor ? Then, he realised that everyone had fallen silent. They were all concentrating on Po.
« What does he mean ? » asked Monkey, not necessarily expecting an answer. Indeed, the drunken warrior seemed to be mumbling something.
« Oh, man » began Po, looking desperate. His cheeks were reddened and his eyes closed. « I...I really want Tigress so bad. »
What followed this sentence was a real mess.
Crane's beak dropped.
Shifu was summoning all his strength to not hit the panda.
Li Shan and Ping looked at each other, smiling slyly.
Tigress simply wanted to disintegrate.
Monkey and Mantis laughed out loud.
Viper thought « At last! ».
Mei-Mei thought of changing her necklace.