"What are you doing? We can't just leave her here!" Amy and Rory stood rooted to the spot in front of River's hospital room, but the Doctor didn't pay them any mind. He kept walking down the corridor, apparently expecting them to follow him like he always did. Away from River, his – whatever she was or was going to be. Away from hurt, confused River, who had only hours ago defied everything she had believed her entire life to save him, for goodness' sake!
"Doctor!" Amy called after him angrily. Two nurses shot her a reprimanding look, but Amy was far beyond caring. "I'm not going to leave my daughter like this!" The Doctor turned on the spot and stomped back until he was mere centimetres from her face, trying to stare her down.
"Did you not listen to me, Amelia? We cannot stay! We have too much foreknowledge, which is exactly why we are going to leave. Now!" he growled. Rather unimpressed by his outburst, Amy crossed her arms and glared right back at him, neither of them willing to budge.
"You always think you know what's best and expect us to blindly do whatever you say – but not this time, Doctor." Amy's voice had dropped dangerously low. "My daughter – who turned out to also be my best friend – nearly died today. She has a new body and nowhere to go, and I am not -" she practically spat the word in his face, "leaving her when she needs us!"
The Doctor took a deep breath, trying and mostly failing to steady himself. He pressed out the words between his teeth: "We cannot help her; we know too much. It's dangerous. Let's go."
He was about to turn away, but Rory, who had been standing firmly in the doorway to his daughter's room the entire time, finally chimed in. "You keep saying that, Doctor, but how is that enough to leave River behind? How is that a reason at all? We can use our knowledge to help her, to guide her. We have been dealing with spoilers. We are used to lying. We do it all the time since we have been travelling with you. We might not have timelordy superbrains, but we are not idiots. We can deal with this too."
"No, Rory," the Doctor scoffed, "you can't." He was walking again.
"How can you be so bloody cold sometimes?" Amy asked in furious disbelief, adding something about not being sure about those two hearts under her breath. The Doctor froze. Seconds that felt like hours passed in complete silence, the tension thick in the air.
"You have no idea what it's like, Ponds," he broke the silence, his voice all seriousness but without a trace of anger. "Knowing even a tiny detail about your own future… It's dangerous and powerful and scary."
"But we won't…," Amy started again, only to be immediately shut down.
"You simply won't tell her anything, Amelia, and all will be chocolate, roses and happy family life?" The Doctor didn't need to see the flash of pain in Amy's eyes or the shadow over Rory's to know it was a low blow, but he needed them to grasp the magnitude of the situation. "And what will you do when she gets confused or scared or frustrated? When she starts pressing and blackmailing you into giving her something? Because yes, she is your daughter, but she is also River Song. She won't take 'no' for an answer, but she will know how to manipulate you and where to push to get what she wants."
The Doctor's eyes jumped back and forth between his two Ponds until eventually Rory's head fell in defeat. "Amy… I don't want to leave her, but maybe he's right." He tried to take his wife's hand, but Amy snatched it away, took a step towards the Doctor, and locked her blazing eyes with his.
"Maybe," she spat, "maybe he's not. Fine, Melody could probably make us tell her little things. Those things will not break the universe. An injured, reckless and scared River Song, without people she trusts to keep her grounded, just might."
The Doctor sneered and shook his head, looking away from her, but Amy didn't miss a beat. "She won't get anything important out of us because we are very much used to being manipulated, Doc-tor. So I don't care what you two are doing; I will stay with my child." Without gracing either of them with another look, Amy turned towards River's room with firm steps.
"Amelia," the Doctor nearly whispered, his voice so full of pain, it nearly took her breath away. "Please, Amelia…" Amy remained with her back towards him, but it was clear that her attention was fully on him. "I don't want this either. I want to take her with us and make sure she is safe and loved." Rory's searching look made the Doctor blush a little. "But I know she'll be ok, if we leave. She may not be, if we don't. It could change things, I…"
His breathing had sped up quite a bit; he could feel his hearts thundering in his chest. The Doctor didn't notice Amy coming closer again until she pushed him over to a group of chairs at the far end of the hallway. "The first time I met her, she knew every last thing about me. Imagine what that does…" Rory's eyes shot up at the familiarity of those words. It hit him how lonely River must have been when she'd said them herself, and it hurt so much to realise that River – his Melody – had tried to confide in a father who didn't know yet that he was one.
"She was so bloody irritating, always one step ahead. She kept going on about me not being her Doctor… Things were going wrong; I refused to trust her. I pushed and blocked and pushed some more…" The Doctor paused, his mind seemingly dimensions away.
"I made her tell me something," he finally continued, "something big – so huge it could have broken the universe. I don't blame her. I was a pain and her telling me made me temporarily a bit less of an idiot. But still, after… Later, the next couple of times I saw her, what she had told me was so big, so scary that I reacted badly to it. There were moments I thought about changing time and making it un-happen. I acted out of fear and frustration, and I nearly destroyed everything." Agitation grew in the Doctor's voice. "The one thing she ever truly asked of me, and I – selfish idiot – turned around and…" He shook his head, and for the first time since beginning his monologue, he fixed his eyes on Amy's. "No matter what you think, this is not me being cold or heartless or manipulative. This is me living up to my promise to her."
Without giving Amy and Rory time to process his words, let alone respond, the Doctor marched to the Tardis and disappeared within her corridors. He couldn't face his Ponds while, in his mind, their daughter's voice kept repeating over and over, "not one line, don't you dare."
The Doctor and Amy – and, by extension, Rory – managed to avoid each other for nearly two full days on the Tardis. Amy was still upset – not only about leaving River but about knowing for sure now that they wouldn't get to raise their baby. Instead, Melody would spend her first regeneration as the captive of people who would brainwash and abuse her. To top it off, when she came home to Leadworth, her best friend would be gone. Not gone gone, of course; somewhere in time and space she would get into troublesome adventures or adventures trouble, but it wouldn't be the same. Two Melodys lost in one day.
Of course Rory was in just as much pain, though while Amy tried to deal with it by huddling under the blankets in their room, watching telly, cuddle-crying and ignoring the Doctor altogether until the need to talk to him would become too much, Rory tried to recall every conversation he had ever had with River. He went through them in his mind over and over, looking for hints – looking for anything that suggested that they – that he would have a real relationship with his daughter, that he would be a father to her. And yes, there were moments – maybe it was just wishful thinking – moments when, looking back at them, River had seemed very familiar with them, unusually open and trusting. A very excited River rambling about her birthday at the Frost Fair came to mind. Rory had felt it irrelevant at the time compared to his mission to rescue Amy and their baby, but now that short conversation had become a treasured memory. He so hoped these moments had been a good sign. He would do everything in his power for these hopes to become reality. One memory of River kept coming back to him, though, creating much more disturbing thoughts.
That night, after Amy had cried herself to sleep while he held her, Rory's thoughts started circling again until he finally gave in and left the bed in search of the Doctor. Unsurprisingly, Rory found him tinkering with the Tardis, so deep in thought that the Doctor didn't notice Rory approaching until he stood right in front of him. The Doctor looked up expectantly, and Rory felt some of his determination waver. Most likely, the only answer he would get was something along the lines of "spoiler," but his deep, nearly heart-wrenching need to know was too strong not to at least try.
"I have been thinking about what you said at the hospital, about the first time you met River."
The Doctor's face fell; all strength seemed to fade from his body. "Rory… Please don't."
Rory wouldn't be deterred. "No, Doctor, I know. It's a spoiler; you can't tell me, I know. But she is my daughter, my baby… I tried, but I can't let it go. The first time you met her, you didn't know who she was, did you? But she knew you. I assume that was quite a while before you met Amy?" The Doctor simply gave a single nod. "She said something so similar about you once. About you two travelling in opposite directions, and you knowing her less and less the more she knows you." All the muscles in the Doctor's face seemed to tense up, and his eyes closed for a moment. "I hadn't really thought about it again until what you told us reminded me. She dreaded – dreads, I guess – the day when you wouldn't know her. I thought then that she was talking about the pain it would cause for you not to recognise her. But the more I think of it, the more I believe that wasn't it, was it? It's because that will be the last time you meet."
"The opposite directions-thing – it's not linear," the Doctor interjected, shaking his head. His voice had a desperate edge to it, though, and he refused to look up, confirming Rory's fears.
Taking in a shaky breath, Rory continued, "Back then, she told me she thought it would k-"
"Rory"
"Why else would you stop seeing each other?"
"Rory –"
"No!" Rory was startled by the desperation in his own voice. "I won't be there. I'll fail to protect her again. I need to know, Doctor!"
Rory felt like the silence was drowning him. Finally, the Doctor spoke. "You don't, Rory. You really, really don't."
Rory wanted to protest, but the defeated look in the Doctor's eyes kept the words from leaving his mouth.
"I can take you to see her, if you want, an older version of her. But you can't let her see." The Doctor vaguely gesticulated in front of his face.
After a few seconds, Rory replied, "Yes. I'll go wake Amy." Before reaching the last steps, he halted and turned back, watching for a moment as the Doctor stared at the wall. "When we left her at the hospital, you said it was to keep your promise. Make sure you do."
Thank you so much for reading!