Chapter 12 Guilt

The kiss… what words were there in the English language to describe this kiss? Saying it was amazing was a gross understatement, as was saying it was spectacular or magnificent. It was as if time itself had stopped to observe this moment between Bowser and Rosalina, holding its breath to see what exactly would come from such an amazing union of two people. Bowser drank in her scent, his mind feeling simultaneously excited and calm. He reached out and put his hand on Rosalina's back, hoping that this still, beautiful moment would last forever.

But alas, he had to pull away eventually. He slowly withdrew his lips, looking into her lapis blue eyes. He smiled. She smiled back at him. He let out a little laugh. She let out a little laugh too.

"That was pretty cool," He whispered, almost like he was in a church.

Rosalina nodded, the smile still on her face. "It was enjoyable, I have to say."

Bowser's heart fluttered. Maybe… maybe he really should stop going after Peach like everyone suggested. In this moment right here, he saw more potential for a future with Rosalina than he saw with his beloved. And… well, Peach would always be his beloved, but… well, this was just too perfect. He would love to get to know Rosalina more. He would love to get closer to her. That would surely be very nice.

And then, Bowser noticed her hair.

He almost couldn't believe what he was seeing and had to do multiple double-takes. The platinum blonde, Rosalina's signature hair color, was slowly changing. From the roots to the tips, her hair was turning a reddish hue; strawberry blonde, as a matter of fact. Bowser's jaw dropped when he saw this, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She looked at him in confusion.

"Bowser? Is everything alright?" Bowser pointed toward her head with a shaking finger. Blinking, Rosalina reached for a lock of her hair. She gasped when she saw its color. "What?" She looked at all the other locks, her eyes wider than the sun. Panic filled her face, which was a strange expression to see on someone as well-collected as her. "What… what is going on?"

"I don't know!" Bowser exclaimed. "I really…" He stopped, only realizing halfway through that that statement was false. He knew exactly what was going on. He knew it, and for the first time since he started his mission, his stomach churned while thinking about it. He looked at Rosalina, his heart feeling uncharacteristically heavy.

"I…" he could barely talk. "Your powers are gone."

Rosalina blinked at him. "Gone? What do you mean my powers are gone?"

Bowser cringed at her tone. It wasn't accusatory or angry; just shocked and dumbfounded. He felt like the worst type of scum that a person could possibly be at this moment.

"I…"

Realizing he had no choice, Bowser began to explain the situation. When he was done, Rosalina still had eyes that were far too wide. However, she also backed up away from Bowser. She shook her head, looking like she wanted to say something in response to this, but just couldn't find the right words. She put her hand to her head, and Bowser's heart continued to ache as he stared at her. It continued to ache as he thought about what he had done to her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Rosalina looked up at Bowser. "So… everything… the date, the feelings… it was all a lie?"

Bowser internally cringed. "Well…" he didn't know what to say. He could say yes; in fact, it would probably be most appropriate to say yes. But somehow, that didn't feel right. He had grown to respect her and appreciate her. But will she accept those feelings after he tells her about that? Would she even dare to believe him if he were to tell her the truth?

In the end, he decided not to say anything. This was one of those moments where the silence did all the speaking.

"I can't believe it." Rosalina closed her eyes. Once again, she didn't look angry or furious or anything like that. She just looked saddened by all this. Bowser almost wanted her to feel other emotions aside from that, as at least he was used to anger. He was used to people yelling at him. He couldn't handle the sight of someone looking sad at what he did.

And that feeling only got worse when a tear fell out of Rosalina's eye. "I can't believe I trusted you," she whispered. "I should have known better, but…" she whimpered. "I'm so stupid."

Bowser bit his lip. He reached out his hand, about to comfort her in any way necessary. However, she noticed this and started backing up once again. There was now a terror in her eyes. This emotion wasn't exactly foreign to Bowser, but it still added to the already horrible feeling accumulating in his mind.

"I should…" Now he was the one backing up. "I should…" He cleared his throat, now refusing to look at Rosalina. "I should probably go."

With that, he turned around. As he walked away, part of him hoped that Rosalina would call out to him. However, with each step he took increasing the distance between the two of them, his hope that that would happen grew dimmer and dimmer. After a little bit, he stopped and looked behind him, just to see what she was doing.

She was gone.

…

Bowser never felt so miserable walking into his own castle. The sights that would usually ignite at least a little joy in him, like the statues carved in his likeness strewn everywhere, did nothing of the sort now. In fact, it felt like nothing could bring Bowser out of his rut. He was submerged so deep in misery that it felt like he could never break free from it. On top of that, there was this distinct feeling in his heart. It was one that he didn't feel very often, but one that still turned his stomach sour.

Guilt.

Trying his best to ignore all these ugly feelings, he made his way through the castle. He passed by the dining hall at one point, where Kamek and the Koopalings were laughing and talking over dinner. It was a beautiful sight; really, it was. But… well, it wasn't the jolt of joy that he needed it to be. Especially when he remembered that Rosalina was now without a way to see and take care of her own kids. She was separated from them, in ways that no parent ever should be.

Bowser sighed. Why oh why didn't he back down from this silly little plot when he had the chance?

Within no time, Bowser got to his room. He stood in the doorway, observing the crackling fireplace and the big, cushy bed with the ruby red comforter on top. He loved this place; it was such an amazing location to just forget about the trouble experienced during the day. And even though Bowser was still feeling like he was lower than dog shit, he had to admit that the sight of his haven did help him feel a little better. Not by much, but there was a smidge of an improvement.

Did that make him an even bigger monster? Did he deserve to feel even a little happy after he had royally fucked someone over? Wasn't it kind of inappropriate to feel good?

Shaking his head, Bowser carried himself over to his bed. He let out a humongous sigh and crashed onto it, curling up into a little ball as he did. He didn't cry; he wasn't someone who stooped down to the level of crying. But that statement had one drawback to that; he had no real way to express or handle his emotions. All he could do was just lay there, lay there with a hollow void in his chest.

"Bowser?"

A voice that filled him with annoyance called out to him, a voice that belonged to a person whom he would usually rag on and make fun of. However, right now, the thought of doing that just felt wrong, more wrong than anything else.

"Go away."

Kamek didn't go away; in fact, he stepped even further into the room. Bowser's mouth filled with smoke, and the temptation to roast his putz of a parental figure became stronger. Kamek knew him better than anyone else, he should know that Bowser wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now.

"Bowser, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"Oh please, I know that's not true." Kamek stepped even closer. "I saw you when you passed by the dining hall; you were so gloomy that even your shadow looked darker. And besides, you wouldn't be laid in your bed in this manner if everything was fine and dandy, now would you?"

Bowser didn't say anything, only cursing Kamek out in his mind. The magikoopa advisor looked at him with a stern yet undoubtedly gentle expression. It was torture being on the receiving end of that look, especially because Bowser realized that the only way to get rid of it was to open up and tell Kamek what the issue was.

How awful; why did Kamek have to care so damn much?

"Alright, alright." Bowser sat up in bed. He still felt the temptation to roast Kamek like a marshmallow but held back on that. "I…" he hesitated. "I… managed to take Rosalina's powers away."

"Oh?" Kamek blinked. "That's… that's a problem?"

Bowser bit his lip. "Yeah. it is. I feel… I feel like I shouldn't have done it."

Kamek did a double-take. "Wow. Those are words I never thought I'd hear come out of your mouth."

Steam shot out of Bowser's nose as he glared at Kamek. "Thanks. But…" he now felt a desire to retreat into his shell and not emerge for the next decade. "But I found out more about her. She's a mom. She's very caring and loving and…" Bowser put his head in his hands. He sighed, feeling like he was on the spot in the least desirable way possible. "Screwing her life over like that didn't feel right."

Kamek blinked again. "I… I see." He stepped even closer, and put his hand on Bowser's knee despite possibly realizing that Bowser wanted to fry him. "Well… I can't say I blame you for these feelings. It is surprising, but not entirely unreasonable."

"Yeah," Bowser said with a nod. He fell backward onto his bed. "What really makes me feel bad about this is the fact that… well, again, she's a mom. And when I took away her powers, I effectively made it so that she had no chance of seeing her kids again. And…" Bowser sniffled, tears falling from his eyes for the first time in years. "Oh, shit." He desperately tried to wipe his eyes. "What are all these feelings? Why am I feeling this way? Rosalina shouldn't matter to me! She presented a roadblock for me; by all accounts, I should be happy!" He paused. "Why aren't I?"

Kamek stayed silent for a little bit. "Perhaps… she ignited a part of your personality that you didn't know you had before. A part of empathy, a part of respect."

Bowser snorted. "Yeah, well, some good that's doing me right now, huh?" He turned over, meaning his shell was in front of Kamek. "I just want to forget about this. I want to move on from it."

"Do you think that's even possible?"

Bowser gritted his teeth. "I don't know! How the flying fuck am I supposed to know something like that?" He shook his head. "Just leave me alone Kamek, okay?"

A silence hung in the air. It was unbearable; even though Bowser couldn't see him, he knew Kamek's eyes were locked on him and him solely. He didn't know what kind of emotions were brewing in Kamek's head, but whatever they were, Bowser was happy not knowing what their names. Right now, he didn't want to have anything to do with all this feeling nonsense.

"Of course, Your Highness."

With that, Kamek left the room. As Bowser heard the door close behind his advisor, he sighed and closed his eyes. Perhaps these feelings would go away if he slept on them.

…

Kamek stood outside Bowser's room, struggling with all sorts of thoughts. He hated seeing Bowser in a bad mood; he absolutely hated it. This was especially true because he usually had no way to deal with it. He was a master in magic and wizardry, but being a shoulder to cry on? Being someone who had all the answers? That was the part of life he struggled with the most.

"Aye aye aye." He took off his glasses and polished them. "I should've stopped him from trying to take Rosalina's powers in the first place." Sure, trying to do so at the time probably would've gotten him a severe beating or punishment from Bowser, but with the power of hindsight, he could say he definitely would've preferred that over what was happening at the present moment. He put his glasses on, trying to make sense of everything. There had to be something he could. There had to be a way to fix this.

"Hmm." Well, he didn't know if there was, but there was one surefire way to find out. He decided that to go to the library to search for a fix. He prayed to Grambi that it would be there. Oh, how he wished it would be there…