While the others were tending to the wounded and getting them onto horses Lhindril stood apart, still in deep shock and grief. Only when Fíli told her that it was time to leave and tried to help her onto their horse did she look up again and take in her surroundings completely. But during the ride to Helm's Deep she was silent, not speaking a word. Once they arrived, Éowyn approached her and then must have seen her face and tears so she swallowed and asked about Aragorn. Since Lhindril couldn't speak, Gimli gave her the sad news which of course shocked the blonde woman and she left while Lhindril again buried her face against her husband's chest, who softly stroked her hair and back, leaning his head onto hers. In addition to that he did something he had never done before; speaking Khuzdul to her.
"King Fíli" they heard a voice next to them "The king wishes to see you" when he raised his head, she snuggled her closer, not wanting him to leave. Not right now. The guard asked Fíli to follow him and he carefully let go of her.
"Don't leave me"
"I have to go and will be back as soon as I can" he promised and luckily for her, Kíli stepped next to them so he transferred her into his arms and her husbands followed the men.
"Should we sit down?" Kíli asked and she gave a nod while wiping her tears and he led her to wall, helping her sit down next to some women and children. "How is your arm?"
"It's fine, I don't feel pain anymore" she replied monotonously. But what she said was true, the wound hadn't hurt for two days now.
"I know how you must be feeling. With your brother, I mean. I felt the same back then"
"When… What?"
"Don't you remember? In the battle at Erebor when Fíli…"
"Stop" she yelled "I don't want to hear this. I can't" she usually didn't like the topic and now even less.
"I'm sorry" for a while the two of them were silent, then Kíli asked "Do you want to talk or rather not?" she shrugged, not sure what she wanted. But definitely no uncomfortable conversation. Then suddenly the thought that with her brother gone there was no other heir to the throne of Gondor. Now it was up to her and her alone to rule over the two kingdoms of men and she would have to leave her husband.
-oOo-
It was instantly obvious that something seemed to bother Fíli when he returned and within a second she was with him, asking what he had.
"King Theoden believes war is coming to us and I doubt we're enough men to win it, even though he thinks this place is impregnable. So he asked what I would do if Erebor was being attacked"
"And what would you do?"
"I am not too sure. I mean it depends on the enemy's strength. That we either fight of defend Erebor."
It still seemed like Fíli's advice had made Theoden help to come to a decision because for the next two days everyone was occupied with trying to make the stronghold even more invulnerable. Lhindril, however, was mostly taking care of the women, children and the wounded. As odd as it was, she found she had already gotten over her brother's death quite a lot and she wondered if it was because she had not seen him almost all her life. But what did bother her was the fact that she might needed to reign over Gondor and leave Fíli. Absentmindedly, she was helping an elderly woman eat when suddenly a little girl pulled on her coat.
"I'm hungry too" she announced, her thumb which she was sucking never once leaving her mouth. Lhindril gave a nod.
"I'll be with you right away and we'll see what we can find you"
"It's alright, my dear" the old woman spoke, taking the bowl which Lhindril held into her own hand "thank you so much" giving her a smile, the young woman turned to the girl instead after making sure that the old woman really was fine with eating all by herself, then walked with the girl to find something to eat.
"Will you tell me a story?" the girl wanted to know after they had found a piece of bread, which wasn't the freshest anymore but better than nothing.
"Of course. What would you like to hear? About the Valar?"
"Maybe something that you experienced yourself?" with a smile Lhindril too sat down and started telling her about the quest to Erebor that had before seemed to make a few other kids very happy. Also today some other kids came and sat with them and by the time she had reached the part where they needed to flee from Smaug in Lake town, Fíli and Kíli approached them.
"Don't scare the little ones with your tales, will you?"
"Well maybe you're the one being scared and not wanting to hear it? Maybe I should tell them how you screamed and cried when Tauriel was healing you" she earned an angry glare but his brother was smiling.
"They were there too?" the girl asked in astonishment "Does this mean everything will be fine now?"
"I really hope so. I really do" she continued the story for a while until the gate was opened and there were a lot of whispers, which Lhindril tried to ignore but finally she couldn't help but wanting to find out more. After a while she saw it and her breath hitched when she saw her brother, alive but very tired looking, entering Helm's Deep. How had he survived? Suppressing a scream of joy she hurried towards him, crushing him in a hug "Don't you dare to do something like that ever again!" with a smile, he pulled her closer. The three Dwarves made their way through the crowd and couldn't believe their eyes as it seems. Gimli leaned against her brother too, telling him he was the most lucky person he'd ever met. Also Fíli and Kíli assured him they were glad to have him back. Gently, he let go of Lhindril and instead placed a hand on Gimli's shoulder "This belongs to you" she said, handing him the necklace she had gotten after his fall.
"Where is the king?" Aragorn asked and Kíli just nodded his head at his brother, making the man laugh and explain he was looking for Theoden. At this the others started laughing too and Lhindril felt how all her worries suddenly disappeared; her family was fine. They accompanied Aragorn to the king who told the latter that tens of thousands of Orcs were on their way here.
"Are you sure? We will need help if there really are that many, we're simply too few" Lhindril observed
"And who do you think will come to our aid?" Theoden, who was anything but pleased asked.
"What about Éomer and his men?"
"They're too far away; we couldn't reach them in time"
"Then we ask Gondor"
"Gondor?! Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?! Where was Gondor when our enemies closed in around us?! Where was Gon…? No, my Lord Aragorn...we are alone"
"When do you think the Orcs will arrive?" she asked her brother
"Perhaps in the course of the evening or the night. If they are not here yet"
"That's… not good" she muttered "There is no time to call for help. But if you request it and they do arrive the Orcs will be defeated anyways. Even if we are dead"
"And who will come? Elves? Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead"
"How many good warriors do you believe are in Erebor and the Iron Hills? Tens of thousands. We can win this fight, just let me find help"
"By the time you return it will be too late. And it is not your fight either"
"Maybe not but once Orcs realize how easily men are defeated and have defeated them what is stopping them from attacking Elves and us next? It is our fight. It is about the fate of the whole world" Theoden shook his head
"Still, I cannot let it happen. Sooner or later your people will need to defend themselves. As do we. Get every man and boy able to wield a sword and get the women and children to the caves. That goes for you as well" he turned to Lhindril.
-oOo-
Even though she tried to convince the others to let her fight as well they wouldn't let her. Finally, she met Éowyn, who too wanted to fight in the battle and wasn't allowed to either. Well, at least she wasn't alone with this she thought as they were leading them into the caves. Or more like the blonde women led them and Fíli was more or less pulling Lhindril with him since she still tried to change his mind.
"You taught me to fight yourself. I can do this"
"I taught you so you can defend yourself if you get attacked and not that you can go into battles. It is an order from king Theoden and you cannot disobey it. Plus, it is an order from me as well and as you know I'm a king too, and your husband on top of that" she rolled her eyes
"Oh come on, you know exactly how much I'd worry down here" he stopped, taking hold of her upper arms
"I know. But if you're in the battle, I will worry about you, which makes it harder to concentrate"
"You distrust my skills" she only remarked even though he had a point.
"That's not what I meant. But you seem to think I can't take care of myself" she snorted
"I just remember what happened in the battle for Erebor…. I don't ever want to feel like this again"
"You two are not fighting, are you?" Kíli who had suddenly appeared behind them asked. Now, instead of continuing to talk, Fíli closed his mouth, starting to walk again with her in tow.
"Are you angry with me?" she asked and he shook his head
"Worried about you" they continued the rest of the way in silence and once they reached the caves, he took her hands in his "Do me a favour and stay here. You know I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to you" with a sigh she realised that it was of no use to discuss with him and therefore agreed. After all she knew how stubborn Dwarves could be and a fight with Fíli was the last thing she wanted "Thank you" he whispered, leaning his forehead to hers "I promise that everything will be fine"
The men of Rohan started lead almost every man and boy away. Basically anyone who could stand straight and hold a sword. She started to ask herself why they didn't take some women as well if they needed people so badly. At least those that wanted to fight. One of Theoden's men approached Fíli saying it was time they got ready as well and one last time, he pressed her a little closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek before letting go of her. Kíli stepped next to them with a grin
"What about me?"
"What do you mean?"
"Aren't you gonna bid me goodbye too and wish me luck?"
"Oh well if you insist" she joked, pulling him into an extra tight hug and then knocking her knuckles onto his head. After they left a smile spread on her face because what they didn't know was that she still planned to go into the battle, although with a bad conscience since she had promised Fíli to stay here. But she didn't want to go full into the battle and just stay in areas where there weren't that many Orcs.
"Can you finish your story from earlier?" she suddenly heard the little girl she had entertained earlier that day.
"Of course" she settled down and the girl instantly crawled into her lap, clinging to her clothes with a smile. Also Lhindril smiled, even more so when later events of the story made the girl cuddle against her even tighter. At this, she really felt like pressing the girl closer to her body and never let her go again. Suddenly she started regretting that she and Fíli had no children of their own and started to wish for kids. In Erebor she had often be drawn to Dwarflings and loved spending time with them if she could. If she should talk to her husband about this? After all she didn't really know what he thought about having children or knew at which age Dwarves usually had children. After all, they had agreed to give themselves some time just after the wedding but that had been several decades ago.
After she finished the story, of course again having been joined by more kids and even women, the girl wanted to know if she had experienced any other things that were worth telling and so Lhindril started talking about the fellowship of the ring and how they reached Edoras. Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling from above. Did this mean the battle had started? The little girl got even more scared and so Lhindril asked if they should go looking for her mother and the girl nodded.
"Alright, let's go search her" she was even quite glad about it so once the girl was back with her mother she could join the battle. It wasn't that she was fully confident about it but she wasn't scared or worried either but she kind of did look forward to it and hoped she didn't underestimate it. Outside, she was greeted by heavy rain and of course the battle had already started. She was confused to see an army of Elves between all the men and wondered where they had come from and why. Had Theoden asked for help? Or was it Aragorn or Legolas maybe? Then she pushed the thoughts aside, wanting to focus on fighting instead. Since everything interesting seemed to be happening on the pinnacle she went there, almost with a little smile in her face. Oh well, so much for staying away from the action, she thought but she found it was no use if she just stood around in the empty town with nothing to do. With an angry roar she started killing Orcs and she had to admit it was better than she expected but after a while she noticed that she was getting tired. After all, none of her previous fights or the practices had been that long. Fíli always stopped the training before she got tired obviously because he thought that it made no sense to train if she was tired. And even her arm with the Morgul wound started hurting again a little even though it had seemed alright the previous days. But then she would just go back to the caves; before someone she knew saw her there and asked what she was doing. Because if she was honest this was a fear she had too besides getting injured.
Once again a big Orc ran towards her and she moved out of the way, jumping onto his back - as she had done a couple of weeks earlier during a practice session with her husband – and rammed her weapon into his head. Both of then fell to the ground and before she could get up, another Orc approached them and when she tried to stab him, he grabbed her sword, throwing it down into the inner yard and came closer with his own sword drawn. She tried to kick him between the legs but without much success, so she took a dagger and sliced his leg open, trying to make him stumble or even fall. Suddenly this happened and the Orc fell down just like her sword had. Only a moment later she saw that an arrow was protruding from his head. Because she was staring after the Orc she only noticed that someone else had approached her when her wrist was grabbed and someone helped her up. At first she instinctively wanted to attack but then she recognized who it was. Her relief only lasted for a second before she realised that she most likely was in for a lecture by her brother-in-law, which he also did once they reached a spot where the fight was not all that prominent and they had a few moments to talk.
"What in Durin's name are you doing here? Have you gone mad? My brother and yours would kill me if they hear about this" it seemed like he wasn't waiting for an answer and instead just pulled her along and she decided not even to say something so she wouldn't upset him further or get into a discussion. Especially not mentioning that he couldn't be killed twice. But when she noticed he was bringing her back to the caves, she tried to fall back what made him tighten the grip on her arm
"Ouch let me go, you're hurting me" she protested but he didn't do a thing and she had little choice but to follow him. A group of Orcs approached them and she saw her chance to proof that she was able to take care of herself but while she killed one of their attackers, Kíli had managed to kill the other six. And she had even managed to get hurt since the one she fought had cut her left arm before he died. Kíli, who had obviously wanted to help her with 'her' Orc saw that he was dead and then noticed her wound
"Oh, he will so definitely kill me" he muttered.
"He won't you're his brother" she told him but he either didn't hear or didn't care and continued pulling her to the caves after he had provisionally covered the wound.
"Don't you dare to leave this place again" he hissed before he was gone again. Not much later she saw Éowyn next to her.
"Have you been in the battle? Why?"
"I just wanted to help. And I was there until Kíli deemed it necessary to get me back here because obviously everyone thinks I can't fight well enough"
"I understand and feel the same. No one ever allowed me to use my skills when they are needed" Lhindril shrugged
"Seems like this is the fate of women" her friend seemed to notice the wound and offered to help her treat it properly and thanking her, she took of the coat after having undone Kíli's makeshift bandage over it. After treating her the two of them talked for a while, then Lhindril felt tired and lay down to try and sleep.
She wasn't sure if she slept at all but then again it seemed like the night was over all of a sudden and the survivors returned, making her wonder that the time was. She felt her heart beating faster when she saw her brother, Legolas and Gimli who were being greeted by Éowyn and then looked around for her husband and finally found him next to his brother and were looking for her. Once they saw her, she hurried towards them, hugging Fíli and asking if he was alright. He didn't answer and when she let go of him she noticed that something was off because their hug had felt different, almost as if he was being absent or not wanting to hug her. And it even seemed dismissive and a part of her was scared
"What's wrong?" she asked
"What should be?" he asked with a slight smile but she wasn't fooled by it. Then his gaze fell onto her wound and his mien changed again to worry. If only she had put her coat back on instead of using it as a blanket! "How did that happen?" he asked gently putting his hand over the bandage. She quickly glanced at Kíli who took a step back and shook his head.
"Oh, it's nothing. I just stumbled and fell and managed to hurt my arm on one of those pointy stones. It's not that bad really"
"That's a relief. A moment I thought you might have actually joined the battle… But if it only was that…" she played along and chuckled "So how long?"
"How long what?" she asked in confusion
"Have you been out there?"
"What? How did you get that idea?" she exclaimed, not even in fake-shock. Had he seen her?
"Oh, it wasn't all that difficult to find out. And thanks"
"Huh?" as an answer he held out her sword towards her "I think that's yours. It fell directly onto an Orc who tried to sneak up on me ad helped me notice him, which I was quite glad for" she had to bite back a smile because her being in battle obviously hadn't been the worst idea and losing her sword too had had a benefit. "Well, what wasn't that pleasant was when another Orc almost fell on top of me. Shot by an Dwarven arrow" he glanced at his brother who put up an innocent smirk, raising his hands. But then he turned back to her, taking hold of her lower arms, leaning his forehead to hers "Why didn't you listen to me?" now she somehow didn't want to list the reasons why she wanted to go and tell him that she had even helped him. But eventually she knew it was all she could say.
"I just wanted to help" she only said "Maybe next time you just shouldn't forbid me to come then I won't not listen to you. And besides, I did help you yet another time so it can't have been that bad"
"That's not funny"
"I know. I'm sorry. But I just felt so useless down here" she admitted. With a sigh he leant his forehead to hers, slightly pulling her closer
"Just promise me you'll never do such a thing again" she wasn't sure if she could keep the promise she didn't know what to say but because she didn't want to be all silent she tried to approach another topic and in the end she was kinda surprised she had actually said it.
"Fíli, I was thinking and I thought maybe it's now time we could have kids?"
-oOo-
She wasn't sure if the events of the battle were the reason that no one forbade her to come to Isengard in order to defeat Saruman but she didn't complain. And somehow she was glad about the mission because as she had imagined Fíli had been really surprised about her statement about children and thought they shouldn't haste anything and that they could discuss it when they were back at Erebor and so now it would take her mind off that matter too because she had found out that she would really love to have a baby.
The next surprise came when they reached Isengard which was flooded and then saw Merry and Pipping sitting on the small wall in front of it, enjoying a sumptuous meal and a pipe. Of course the Dwarves protested, telling them how unfair it was that they had been worried about the Hobbits while they were having the time of their life seemingly. But Lhindril was only glad to see them up and about and well. The Hobbits packed he food away and after exchanging the first news they got onto one of the horses as well before they rode further and met Treebeard who obviously had been the one taking care of Isengard so far. On the top of the tower a man in white clothes appeared and she guessed it was Saruman. He gave them a message from his master Sauron and then glanced down at them, stopping when he saw her.
"The girl, huh?" he teased, his glance wandering to Gandalf "Even if you have not joined me I am thankful. For this" Fíli let go of the reigns and instead pulled her closer to his body, whispering some words in Khuzdul. Lhindril only wondered what Saruman was trying to say with this. The wizard lifted his staff, sending down a fireball towards them but Gandalf stopped it by generating a sort of orb as he had done in Moria. Now it was Gandalf's turn and he made the other wizard's staff fall to dust. On the roof Grima, who they had met in Rohan, appeared behind his new master. King Theoden tried to persuade him to accompany them and be a free man again but the evil wizard didn't seem to believe he deserved freedom and pushed him to the ground. Obviously not happy with it, the black-haired man got up and lunged at the older man with a dagger, stabbing him in his back before Legolas shot the attacker with an arrow. Saruman fell down and finally got impaled on a tip of a mill wheel that was beneath him. Fighting the welling feeling of sickness, she slid off the horse's back with a hand pressed to her mouth. Once she reached the ground her legs gave in and landed on all fours. It didn't bother her that her clothes were getting completely wet and soon Fíli joined her, placing a hand on her back
"Are you alright? Do you need something?" instead of giving an answer she vomited. Also Kíli dismounted and waded over to them. Kneeling down, her husband pulled her into a hug, not caring that he was getting wet either. "What's wrong?" if only she knew. Maybe it was because of Saruman's death or rather the way he died that reminded her of the battle sixty years ago when she believed to have lost Fíli.
"Are you doing alright, Linnie?" when she didn't answer, Fíli asked her again
"I mean perhaps I have an idea even though it may sound a little absurd but it would explain a lot. Is it possible that you are with child?"
"What?" she glanced at him in disbelieve. Then she started calculation. She doubted it happened – if it happened at all – before she left Erebor and now it had been what? Three months since they left Rivendell? Well, it would explain the sickness she often felt during the journey. Although it wasn't really a feeling of sickness. More feeling weird as if she was worried. "I-I don't know. Do you think it's possible?"
"Maybe. It would be an explanation for many things. For example why you vomited so often and your wish for a child. But I thought that you knew were pregnant already and haven't told me yet. But it seems that is not the case"
"No, I don't even know. And me throwing up also had other reasons. I mean last time it was the Morgul wound and today just Saruman's death and then I thought about the battle of Erebor and how you… when you…" letting out a sob she pressed her face to his chest, trying to get rid of the image. After the battle it had been very bad. Often she woke with a scream in the middle of the night and it had taken many months until it was gone. He lifted her face.
"Look at me, little one, I'm here with you and I'm fine. You don't have to worry, everything is fine. Nothing happened to me and you know this" she gave a nod and felt herself calming down, letting out a deep breath. Then she asked what they were supposed to do about the assumed pregnancy. "First we should seek out a healer to get it confirmed" again she nodded and lifted her head, feeling glad that someone had turned the wheel around that Saruman's body could no longer be seen. Pippin left the horse and picked up something from the water; a big dark orb which he eyed with in fascination but then Gandalf confiscated it, seemingly upset. She didn't understand the fuss about it but didn't really care. Everyone remounted the horses and they returned to Edoras where Fíli and Lhindril went to search for a healer but since most of them still were occupied with treating the wounded from the battle or setting up their shops again because they too had only returned from Helm's Deep they needed to wait for a while. But finally an elderly woman had time for them. Somehow, Lhindril felt ashamed to tell her of her assumption and was brabbling and stammering something but the other woman seemed to know what it was about. The first thing she did was sending Fíli away, obviously because she thought he was making her nervous. During the examination she often held her breath and tried to think about how a baby would change their lives and what she thought of it. Of course she would be very happy about it and knew that also her husband and his brother as well as Aragorn would be and love the little one. Then again the pregnancy would give Fíli a very good reason to get even more worried about her (if that was possible) and who knew if he might even sent her home. Finally, the examination was done and the healer turned to her with a blank face.
"The result is clear"