Chapter 15
It had been nearly two months since the king and queen had left Erebor behind in search of allegiances and power. It had been so long that when Kaleria saw the gates of her homeland, tears began pouring from her eyes. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.
And it made her miss her husband even more.
She hadn't seen Thorin in two weeks, and in that time she had crafted conversations and apologies in her head that she couldn't wait to speak out loud to her dark haired king. She wanted to put all the hurtful words and actions behind them. She wanted to have her family back.
As the caravan approached, the gates to the kingdom opened slowly to reveal a welcome party waiting inside. Kaleria spotted Fili and Kili standing proudly in front of the others. The sight of them caused more tears to prick at her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. Once she was close enough, she dismounted her pony and handed her off to a stableboy who came toward her.
She stopped in front of Fili and Kili. "How is our kingdom?"
"In as good of condition as when you left it," said Fili.
"I would wager it's better," added Kili.
Kaleria furrowed her brows at him. "Is that right?"
Kili tossed his head in a non-commital gesture. "Maybe not better, but still as good."
"Thank you, boys." Kaleria drew them both into a hug.
When they pulled away, Fili asked the question she had been dreading.
"Where's Thorin?"
Kaleria sighed. "Your uncle had to finish some arrangements with Lord Dain and sent me home early. He should be here next week, hopefully."
"My brother sent you home by yourself?" Dis appeared from behind Kili and joined the conversation.
"Master Balin escorted me home. He kept us on schedule." Kaleria glanced over to Balin, who was directing the others where to take the weapons and armor.
Dis nodded. "He is certainly good at taking care of the Durin family."
The toll of travel began to weigh on Kaleria the longer they stood there. She wanted nothing more than to return to her chambers and rest.
"Do you mind if we converse about my journey later? I would like to freshen up and rest." Kaleria stated, knowing Dis would gladly take her away from the crowd at the gates.
"Yes, I'll take you," said Dis. "Boys, help Balin make sure the gates are closed once everyone is inside. Make your uncle proud."
"Yes, mother." The princes said in unison.
"Come," Dis took Kaleria's hand and wrapped it around her own arm, "let's get you cleaned up. We have much to discuss."
You have no idea, thought Kaleria.
After a long soak in a hot bath, Kaleria removed herself from the tub and wrapped her robe around her. Her feet traveled toward Thorin's wardrobe and she reached out slowly and opened it. She slid her fingers down the sleeve of one of his shirts, and she couldn't help herself from leaning in and sniffing the shoulder, traces of Thorin's scent filling her nose. She held the fabric to her face letting the essence of him cloud her mind until she thought he was standing in front of her. Tears burned at her eyes once she realized she was only imagining him and his arms weren't going to wrap themselves around her.
She let go of the shirt and moved away from the wardrobe, shutting the doors quickly to lock in the smell and any memories of Thorin that tried to escape. Kaleria went to their bed and settled onto her side, facing her body toward the empty space where he should be. She reached out and felt the sheets, half expecting them to be warm as if Thorin had just gotten up. She pulled her hand back and tossed and turned a few times trying to direct her mind away from him. When she realized she couldn't get comfortable on her side, Kaleria scooted toward the middle of the bed until her head rested on the edge of Thorin's pillow. Again the scent of him filled her nose, and the familiarity calmed her until she fell into a deep slumber.
She didn't know how long she slept, but soft knocks sounded at her door to wake her up. Kaleria opened her eyes and realized she was clutching Thorin's pillow tightly to her chest. Releasing the pillow, Kaleria slid out of bed and crossed the room to her door.
Standing on the other side was Cardeena.
"Hello, my queen. Will you be attending dinner?"
"Cardeena," Kaleria smiled. "It's so good to see you." Kaleria pulled Cardeena into a tight embrace, glad to see her friend.
Cardeena squeezed her. "I'm glad you're back. I had to keep myself busy while you were away, and I volunteered to mend the princes shirts. I'll never do that again."
Kaleria laughed as she pulled back to look at her friend. "They are absolutely terrible about ripping their shirts."
"Come now," Cardeena led her back into her room, "we should get you ready for dinner."
Cardeena helped tame Kaleria's wild hair and dress her in a relaxed gown to make her more comfortable for the evening. They walked to the dining room together and Cardeena parted from her at the door, promising to visit with her tomorrow after she had some rest.
Kaleria entered the dining room to find the Durin family already seated and waiting on her.
"Sorry to keep you waiting." She crossed the room to her seat and smiled at her companions.
"Nonsense," said Dis. "We were so excited to have you back that we showed up early."
"Tell us about your travels, aunt." Kili said, excitedly.
Kaleria began telling them about the journey to Dain's and her meeting with him. They all laughed at her impression of Dain, understanding how boisterous he could be and how rowdy he could make a room. They asked once more about Thorin and Kaleria explained the situation to them in the way that Thorin would explain it. She reminded them that as king he had to represent our kingdom to others and build the relationships himself.
Dis rolled her eyes. "I swear that brother of mine is ridiculous. Could he not send Dwalin and Balin to represent our kingdom?"
Kaleria grit her teeth, angry that Dis could clearly see what Thorin could not.
"Thorin knows what he's doing. Once we have a few set alliances, then I'm sure he will delegate to me and Kili." Fili tried playing a diplomat like Kaleria knew Thorin would love.
Kili, bored with politics, steered the conversation away from Thorin and Kaleria couldn't thank him enough. They finished dinner and Dis dismissed her boys to check on things before bed.
Dis turned to her. "Are you alright?"
Kaleria nodded, doing her best to assure her sister, but Dis could see through her mask. "Thorin and I fought before we left the Iron Hills. I have been playing our words over and over in my head for two weeks."
"What did you argue about?"
Kaleria swallowed the lump in her throat. "I need to tell you something, Dis."
"You're with child."
Kaleria stared wide eyed, but realized she should've known better. "How long have you known?"
"Only today when I first saw you, although I should have picked it up sooner. There was a light surrounding you, and your stomach was only slightly rounder than when you left." Dis took Kaleria's hand and squeezed it. "I am so happy for you, and even more upset at my brother."
Kaleria stared down at the table. "He did what he thought was right to protect me and our child."
"Maybe so," agreed Dis. "But I know Thorin is regretting his decision."
"I think he regretted it the next day. He tried to apologize before we left, but I wouldn't let him. He tried to kiss me and I pulled away from him. I should have listened to his apology. I should have looked past my own selfishness and known he was doing what he thought was best." She swiped at the tear on her cheek.
Dis put an arm around her shoulders. "I am going to be honest with you. This is the first time you and Thorin have been tested as a couple. These are the types of trials that define a union. I know Thorin is strong, and I know you are definitely stronger than him. Please don't let a disagreement like this break down everything you have built together."
Kaleria's eyes shot up to meet Dis's. "I would never let that happen. I love Thorin with all my heart."
"Then don't get yourself worked up over words said in anger." Dis smiled.
"Thank you, Dis."
Dis squeezed her shoulders once more. "Now, what do we think our little Durin baby will be? I am guessing it will be a little boy. I want a nephew I can spoil like you've spoiled mine."
They laughed and imagined the future child of the Durin line as Dis escorted Kaleria back to her room. More than ever, Kaleria hoped Thorin would return soon.