A/N: Okay, so this one needs a bit of background information.
I've been informed about this little bit of culture about Asian mothers. To show their love and affection, they cut fruit. They take the time to peel it and cut it into geometric shapes and patterns, and that's one of their ways of saying 'I love you.'
I'm not sure if I'm explaining this perfectly, but if you want more information, there are a few, short articles I've been able to find. I would include the links, but this cite doesn't really allow that.
The thing about Skye
She has abandonment issues
May turns in her sheets, feeling each brush of fabric against her skin. Despite the late hour, she can't sleep. It's not the first time, but usually she gets a few hours before being woken. It's not nightmares keeping her up, though.
It's Skye.
May rolls again, facing the dark ceiling now.
Skye's been avoiding her since May has been back. It's not obvious- unless the usual way of things is Skye acting like a shadow to May and now she's mysteriously absent from every room May enters.
Honestly, May was thinking entirely of Skye when she decided to go. Thinking about how May failed her so thoroughly. So, May left.
Of course, something always ends up pulling her back. In this instant, it was Grant Ward. Grant Ward, who she should have killed when she had the chance. Now she's back, and her failure is glaringly obvious in Skye's avoidance.
May sits up. She isn't going to be sleeping, and it's useless agonizing about it. May pushes out of her room and toward the kitchen. What she needs is a cup of hot tea to soothe her nerves and something menial to distract her thoughts for a while.
She's not surprised when she enters the lounge to find Skye tucked into one of the armchairs and her laptop propped open in her lap. May was hoping that she would be, or that she'd somehow show up like she normally does when May can't sleep- even with her keeping her distance the past week.
Her chest grows heavier when Skye quickly breaks her gaze, unable to meet May's eyes longer than a moment.
May goes to the kitchen to set up a pot. Wonders if Skye has been eating even with May not there to remind her.
This is ridiculous. Skye is a grown adult. From what May knows, she's been taking care of herself for years with some level of success. She doesn't need May fretting.
May reaches out for an apple and knife.
She doesn't look up as she works, carefully skinning the fruit loop by loop. She doesn't want to see if Skye tries to escape her presence by fleeing the room. So May peels, and cuts, and carefully de-pits the apple. She doesn't think about it. It's just something for her hands to do- a way to distract her from her churning thoughts.
May wants to apologize. She's not good at expressing herself in such a way, though. The words die in her throat before they ever make their way to her lips.
The tea is done, but the fruit isn't, so May moves it off the stove to keep it from screaming and reaches for an orange she can peel and add to the plate. Then she selects a handful of the most perfect grapes she can find. The grapes are far more difficult to peel, but May remembers her own mother in the kitchen, carefully and painstakingly doing each one just for May to have as a snack. Skye isn't hers, though. Isn't theirs (her and Coulson's) to try so hard to keep.
May automatically starts shaping the fruit pieces into a flower, but then she feels silly, so she rearranges them into geometric patterns.
The tea has cooled some, so she puts it back on the stove, and May stares blankly down at the plate. She reaches out and shapes it back into a flower. Busies herself with pulling down two cups before she can agonize over it again.
Only after she pours two cups does she glance up to see if Skye is even still there. She is. She's gravitated to the couch, laptop forgotten on the low table as she peeks curiously over the back into the kitchen. When May looks up, Skye utters a small squeak and flips around, pretending that she wasn't caught snooping.
May's lip twitches. She collects the mugs in one hand and carefully balances the fruit platter on the other as she shores up her spine and stalks around the couch. Skye tenses.
May ignores it and sets the mugs down on the coffee table next to the unoccupied laptop. She slides the fruit into Skye's lap and folds herself onto the opposite side of the couch.
Skye stares down at the plate. "Why… But I…"
May cups her tea in both hands and gently blows on it. When she glances up again, she's surprised to see Skye staring directly at her with tears teetering in her eyes.
"I'm sorry!" Skye blurts, hands lifting and curling white-knucked around the plate. May sits up, alarmed, and puts her mug to the side. She scoots forward along the cushions and reaches out a hesitant hand. Unsure if it would be welcome and unsure quite where to place it.
"For what," May asks reasonably.
"For attacking you. For- f-for- for hurting you. Doubting you." Tears stream down Skye's face, and she wipes at them uselessly, sniffling. "I just- she was my mom- and-and-and I wanted- she was supposed to- but then she-"
May finally decides on where to place her hand. She touches Skye's shoulder and reaches with her other hand to help brush the tears from the inhuman's cheeks.
May's heart thuds uncomfortably in her chest. "I don't blame you, Skye. I never did."
"You don't?" she sniffles.
"No. She was your mother. I know what that meant to you. We all did."
Skye ducks her head and blinks out a few more tears. "Then…" she says to her knees so meekly, May has to duck closer to hear. "Then why'd you leave?"
May rocks back, feeling struck. She had thought Skye was avoiding her because she was angry. It hadn't even occurred to her that Skye might feel guilt as well. Or that leaving so suddenly would trigger the ex-foster kid's abandonment issues.
May should have known, though. Should have considered it. She knows Skye.
May draws away, folding her hands into her lap as she works to distance herself again. It's harder when it has anything to do with Skye. "Honestly, it's because I felt guilty. I failed you. I was given some advice that I didn't listen to. I let my emotions cloud my judgment, and that led to… everything that happened."
"So, you're not mad?" Skye wrings the edges of her bunched sleeves. One of them is saliva soaked and frayed from where she likes to chew on it.
"Not at you."
Skye bobs her head for a few beats. Then, "It's, um- I go by Daisy now, by the way. I-I finally know my name. Daisy Johnson."
May has heard that. She wants to tell Skye that she already knows her name. It's Skye. But that doesn't seem fair. It's not for May to decide, and whether she goes by Skye or Daisy, it doesn't change anything. May can't be objective when it comes to the girl.
"Daisy," May tries it, and it feels wrong. "Okay."
Daisy looks down at the plate on her lap. She reaches for it. May watches as Daisy plays with the fruit pieces.
"Did… Is this a grape? Did you peel grapes?"
"Try it; they're better this way."
Daisy pops one into her mouth. "It feels like I'm eating an eyeball."
May snorts, reaching for her forgotten tea. It's cooled off some, but not enough to discard it. "Eaten a lot of eyeballs, have you?"
"Well, no, but if I did, I imagine it'd feel like this." She pops another one into her mouth, chewing slowly as she traces the rim of the plate. She eats a few more and May drinks her tea. After a long minute, Skye glances up through the loose strands of her hair. "Hey, May?" May lowers her cup. "Thanks. No one's ever…" she presses her lips together. Traces the curve of one of the apple slice petals. "She wasn't everything I wanted her to be."
The unvoiced 'but you are' hangs in the air, and May isn't certain if Daisy meant to imply it, but her heart thuds unsteady and fast. It aches. Her breath hitches and gets stuck, and she has to look away from Daisy.
"Sorry your mom tried to kill you."
Daisy shrugs almost indifferently, but there is an undeniable hurt in it. It's just dampened by resignation. "Sorry it didn't work out with Dr. Garner."
"No you're not," May scoffs.
"No I'm not," she agrees, tossing another piece of fruit into her mouth.
A/N: Thanks for reading, guys, and please let me know what you think! I know a lot of you love some Mama May as much as I do
~Silver