Notes/ This chapter was another one that I had trouble writing. Nothing wrong with it really (at least I sure hope not!) I just felt like I had trouble getting it 'right.' Trying to get the words typed on a screen to match the way things were already put together in my own head. I finally made up my mind that its ready to be posted, because though I'm not completely happy with it, I know I never will be entirely.
"Speedy," Bumblebee said slowly, his optics intently on his bondmate, and his concern growing quickly. "Please talk to me a second. How are you doing?"
"It's already different this time," Speedbreaker answered. She'd been almost entirely for some time, while she lay still on the recharge station she'd been placed on, just staring at the wall across the room. But her optics went slowly back to her mate, when he talked to her. And as she went on speaking back, her voice began to tremble just a little with her growing nervousness. "We're only a couple hours in, and already it's getting so... bad."
"That's unfortunately so often the case in forced separations," 'Bee said, understanding - or at least trying his best to be. "Wanna sit up for a bit? Changing your position might well be helpful."
"In... in a minute," Speedy replied, nervously. She fell silent again for a long moment and just rang her hands together with growing anxiety. "'Bee... could you... could you please scan the newsparks again?"
"Okay," 'Bee answered, and he reached at once for the med-scanner he'd left sitting close by on a work table behind him. The newsparks did need frequent scanning now – even if not quite so frequent as this. Still, it did no harm at all to scan them, and he knew well that she would not possibly settle unless she could see constant updates on the scanner screen.
"They seem no better at all," Speedy mumbled, still trembling just a little. "Their spins have not improved..."
"And they likely won't" Bumblebee said, still calm because he refused to let himself along with her. Instead he smiled at her with optics full of assurance. "That's why we've just got to get them born, hey."
Their worrying situation had come to light suddenly, sometime just before the middle of the night. Speedy had woken out of nowhere at all, sitting up on the recharge station she shared with her mate, insisting in growing panic and unease that something was wrong. Because in her mind, though she couldn't understand what it was that let her sense it, something was. Some scrambling for a youngling sitter and a drive through the dark of night toward the medbay, later – and they'd learned from Ratchet, to their great shock and horror, that she had been right
One tiny spark had stopped it's spin completely, and though its light flared bright as ever on the screen, showing it was still both alive and perhaps even content, its state would certainly not stay an ideal one for long. The motionless spark, was of course also a twin. And that it seemed was both good and bad at present, because the second tiny spark, had begun to drag it around forcefully, in it's own spinning motion. Good - the new creators understood from Ratchet - because it kept it moving and gave it needed time that way. Bad however – they understood just as well – because by now the second spark was slowing down rapidly in its own spin from the added drag of towing its own sibling, possibly all through the night.
"You think they'll always take care of each other?" Speedy questioned. And she looked up at her mate, with hope in her optics – hope inspired by just seeing them both still completely alive. "Just like one looks so determined to care care of the other one now?"
"I sure like to think so." Bumblebee laughed a little, grinning, while he propped the head up the recharge station up a ways, letting his mate sit up on it easily while she leaned back on her pillow. "Both of them and Hotwire of course. Three little peas in a pod!"
"What?" Speedbreaker looked at his half sideways, with a baffled expression.
"An Earth expression, Speedy."
"Well it sounds quite perfectly silly."
"It is quite silly I suppose. Can you sense anything from them?" Bumblebee gently placed his hand against Speedbreaker's spark chamber, which despite her growing discomfort, was still fully enclosed behind well sealed panels. She sighed in relief from the coolness of his hand, and so he left it there for longer.
"I do sense them..." Speedy said. And she smiled a little, focusing her attention on the already well forming connection to her children. "They are... calm... happy and ready to be here with us. I don't think they have any idea there's anything the slightest bit concerning about what they've managed to do... 'Bee, do you think we're ready for this?" She smiled for a second more, before an energy purse shot across the front of her frame, causing her to gasp a little, before she caught her intakes again quickly. "Three younglings instead of just one very soon."
"I think we certainly are." 'Bee replied, smiling again. "You still set on calling them Hubcap and Sparkplug then?"
"I think so. We wanted their names to match, and we did both like those best it seems..." Speedbreaker stopped speaking again, and just sat up for a moment on the recharge station, looking across the small room at the two small very close to identical youngling frames that lay on a repair table. Each one was coated in its final coating of thick protectant oil. And though the frames were still of course lifeless – no more than well built complex constructions of metal and – they had been layed neatly side by side and close together, one tiny hand from each tiny frame rested quite adorably over the chest panel of the other.
A pain worse than any one of them yet coursed through Speedy's upper frame, and she gasped hard, fighting against it for a second before she remembered from her previous experience with Hotwire, that that would only make it worse instead of better. And she did the best she could to calm herself, until it had passed, a short moment later.
"You think they will like them?" She asked her mate quietly, looking again at the tiny youngling frames, and letting herself smile again
She watched him nod a little in reply. And she saw him smile back as he did so. But he was distracted, intently thinking other thoughts. She could tell so clearly in less than a second.
"'Bee?" she asked him gently. And her hand reached for his, seeking his attention. "What are you thinking about?"
"The same kind of things I thought about when Hotwire was born," Bumblebee said. And he smiled, before he moved a little, to shake off his musing.
"How much Opimus Prime would surely have loved to know these little ones of ours?" Speedbreaker understood at once. And 'Bee nodded.
"This is what his sacrifice was all about, Speedy. The future. The baby younglings that are arriving all the time now. He did what he set out to do. He always did, because failing was never an option to him."
"I wish I could have met him..."
"I wish you could have met him too. He may never have said it... he was usually a bot of few words... but he would have loved you, just like he loved any of us."
"The refugees are far from ungrateful..." Speedbreaker smiled again.
"I think he always knew that too," Bumblebee answered, smiling back.
Speedbreaker nodded at that. And she was about to say something more about it. But another pain hit in that second. And this time it was worse even than the one before it. She let a tiny cry of despair escape, before she clamped her hand tightly against her mouth, determined to be quiet.
"Getting worse?" 'Bee questioned slowly, patiently.
"Yeah," Speedy nodded as the pain passed again. By now though a steady ache remained across the centre of her chest panel. And already it felt like it was spreading outwards just a little in every direction.
"You're still feeling okay sitting up like that?"
"Y... yeah. Being up like this is better than... than laying flat."
"Speedy," Bumblebee questioned slowly. His voice was hesitant, the tone of a bot who knew well to approach the subject he was about to, with care and caution. "I know you said right from the start you were saying no to pain medication... but..."
"I'm still refusing, 'Bee," Speedbreaker said at once. Her tone was firm. And despite her discomfort, she still managed to shake her head just a little and laugh give a tiny laugh. "Of course this is bad. Yeah, I'm already in pain. But I can function just fine!"
"It's going to get worse," 'Bee reminded her, still carefully. He squeezed the hand that still held his for a moment and said, with understanding, "No one will make you agree to anything you don't want. And of course I know you're far from asking for it now regardless. Just know that if you change your mind later, that's okay too."
"No," Speedbreaker said, just as firmly as before. And when the next pain moved across her her front panelling, she stared at her mate's optics, determined and gasping for a second, before she continued speaking just as soon as it had passed. "'Bee, no. I don't want this time to be just like it was when Hotwire was born. I was so sleepy... I barely remember even holding him..."
"It's different with these two newsparks," Bumblebee answered, smiling assurance "We have more time..."
Hotwire's seperation had been little more than utter chaos, with Speedy arriving in the medbay with only two hours to spare. And because of the timing, and with the young bot in so much pain she was nearly complete panic, Ratchet had had no choice but to use a medication not ideally suited to spark separations. Yes, it had done it's job, and eased her pain by a great deal. But it had also served as a slow acting much stronger than anyone would have wanted or needed in such a situation. Speedy's optics had been had been barely open by the time the tiny youngling was delivered. And she was barely conscious only seconds later, to see him newly in his frame. She'd asked what culr he was, thouhg his yellow paint was boldly obvious in another second or two. And she'd been close to dropping him twice, unable to hold onto him when he was handed to her crying.
"I still want to try hard not to change my mind," Speedbreaker said frimly. And she paused a moment, her familiar concern reappearing on her face-plate. "'Bee... scan the newsparks again?"
"Okay."
"Let me see that scan for a second," Ratchet said, the second he'd walked into the room, let the door close behind him and watched his young student finish with the scanner.
"Are they... still okay," Speedbreaker asked urgent as ever, while she gasped and groaned horrible through another energy burst. As soon as she'd finished speaking, she covered her face-plate with both of her hands, and barely managed to muffle much louder groans of pain in doing so.
"They're still fine," Ratchet answered, nodding with a smile on his face-plate. He turned the scanner to show her the saved still image on he little screen, as well as the various readings that showed below it. "It may seem a bit surprising, but the stationary newspark is still doing perfectly well. You see that good strong spark pulse? It's the one that's pulling it along for the ride in it's own rotation, I'm just slightly more worried about. That one's pulse has slowed a little more. But..." The old bot held a hand up, interrupting the pair of young creators before either one of the could panic. "Even so, it's still not enough to be close to concerning yet."
"How could this have happened?" Speedy questioned. The worry in her optics mixed in that second with a look of pain as the next energy pulse spread across the front of her upper frame. And her hands held tightly into the rail beside the recharge station for a moment, while she waited for the pain to pass again. "How can... one of them just stop spinning like that?" Her optics travelled from the old medic to her mate and back again. "We... we did everything right. We have no problems at all, this whole time..."
"You did do everything right," Ratchet said slowly. He smiled again with assurance. He placed a hand on 'Bee's shoulder panel, and the other one on Speedbreaker's. "This wasn't your fault. Either of you. It's just a random thing... like so many others. Now if you were much earlier on in carrying when this happened, it would be a much bigger problem, as you can imagine. The risk would be so very high... I'd take measures to try to get it spinning again on its own... But with them ready to be born any time now, I still see no reason at all to panic and worry. And you shouldn't either. The stress they'll sense though their connection to your spark will be the thing that's truly bad for them."
"Ratchet's right..." 'Bee said thoughtfully. And he smiled at his mate, who returned his little smile at once, while she rested, awaiting and dreading the next energy pulse.
"I know I'm right!" the old bot chuckled, with a shake of his head and a decent huff under his intakes. He turned then to look in this young student's direction. "Now, how would you feel, 'Bee, about the first newsparks you ever get to help deliver being your own younglings by tonight?"
"I... I don't know..." Bumblebee stammered, nervous as he always was when presented with his next new task in his training. "I don't think I..."
"I trust you, Bee," Speedbreaker said, resting new in the decent length of time between her bursts of pain. She smiled then. "And wouldn't it be so amazing to tell the twins one day they were your first newspark deliveries in medical school!"
"Why don't you walk for a while," Ratchet suggested. "Walking tends to help a lot, at least before you get too far into spark separation. And I'll find a holovid player for you to borrow too, if you've like to sit and watch something."
"How could I possibly focus on a holovid?" Speedbreaker said with dismay. A new slightly sharper pain flared across her upper frame for a moment, and she knew her focus on watching something on the vidscreen might just be enough to halfway distract her from that. But nothing would ever be enough to distract her from her stress and worry for the newsparks she carried.
"Take a good walk, you two," Ratchet said, clapping each of the bonded pair lightly on their backs, and smiling, not unkindly at all. "I've got a disk some good old pre-war comedy in mind to let you watch when you get back. A good laugh will do you and those newsparks good." he helped Speedy, as she slowly got up to standing. And for a moment, he watched her as she just held the edge of the recharge station though another energy pulse, her knees bent and her body leaning forward.
Soundwave crashed onto his knees on the metal ground somewhere. And for a moment he just stayed there, sprawled terribly across the filthy metal, laying where he'd fallen, before he forced himself to move again. He sat himself up slowly, and everything around him began to spin horribly as he did. Pain, worse than any he'd ever felt before, tore though his body, and his vision turned to bright white, as he moved again, stumbling to get back onto his feet. He screamed a moment, the noise of that echoing off the metal below him and back into his audio receptors, before the pain made him purge violently over the ground. He stumbled again before he could stand, and he fell hard, with a clang of metal against metal.
This was bad. He knew that in an instant as he forced himself to think and reason. He hands went to his face-plate then, determined to assess the damage. And the heat that radiated from it forced him to pull his hands away before his fingers burned.
A crowd of spectators still gasped and shrieked, still screamed and murmured, inside the area close by. There was laughter as well, and cheers and reactions of excitement, from deranged bots clearly convinced that something was funny. But over all, the reaction of the crowd - one used to energon shed and witnessing pain - was horror and disgust and what had just happened.
He was a fair ways away from the area now. He could tell by the sounds of the noises within. And he knew that in the frantic panic that had caused him to run aimlessly forward, he'd run well outside of the area complex. He'd surely be in trouble for that move. To run from the place on a tournament night, that was a violation of a top tear rule, and punishable in a worse case by execution before the spark-less crowd. It didn't matter, he thought, horrified and with a dropping spark, as the pain only grew worse as his processor caught up to his body. The critical damage warnings that flashed across his vision, made it perfectly clear in an instant that he was already off-lining.
The spinning had stopped now, but the view through his optics was dim and wavering. He was near the side of the main street, running through the centre of the city. He recognized the high wall of cobalt behind him, surrounding the area complex, and the run down red painted apartment building on the other side of the road. But the colours were wrong. The wall was dusty green... the building was a strange clouded sort of blue. And anything he knew should have existed inside his peripheral vision, was gone almost entirely, leaving only a sense hazes of grey and muted yellow tones. The road, u sally busy with the traffic of bots rushed passed in vehicle modes, was all but deserted now, with a large portion of the entire city population inside the area of watch the fighting matches. And those bots were out and about their business only drove on by him, just as though they hadn't even noticed someone dying at the side of a roadway.
The public wash-house – built perhaps a century before, to discourage the endless stream of derelicts and drunken riffraff of Kaon, from empty overflow tanks and stinking with their coatings of filth and dust, in the streets – was next to that once red tenement, tucked away at the bottom of a stairwell, between the building and the dive bar beside it. And Soundwave knew it would likely be empty, if not close to it that night, because even the worst of the no good attended the area's tournaments, and that night's was the largest of the season. He knew well he needed to get down there. And as the world appeared again to spin around him, and new more urgent warnings flashed across his vision, he managed to get himself painfully to his feet. The world went white again, and he thoguth he would fall. But instead he managed five stumbling stepped, and then six more, refusing to let himself fall in the middle of the road he was struggling to cross, sure if it did so, any bot that came access him may sooner drive right over him, sooner than go around.
Stabbing pains tore though his lower right leg with each of his stumbling steps, and spilled energon, in the shape of his left foot print stained the road behind him. More pain tore across his lower mid section, where he knew a blow well meant to knock him backwards in the fighting ring, had badly cracked his metal. But the worst of it all was his face-plate, which burned with a kind of pain he lacked the words to even describe. And he raised his hand to it again, as he stumbled forward, the world spinning once more. And still his hand nearly burned from the heat. Soundwave screamed out loud again, catching himself before he fell, refusing to let himself stumble. And he crashed lightly against the front of some bot's immaculate vehicle mode. The bot- dull blue one, who given the state of Soundwave's vision might well have actually been shiny red, only veered away from him at once, before he screamed insults from somewhere inside his well folded form. Soundwave he knew, had been well identified as a pit fighter by that bot. And to him, like most, his status was lower even that that of the derelicts that dirtied up the streets.
Soundwave's colour vision faded abruptly to varying grey tones and a few hints of muted pastels, by the time he'd managed somehow to stumble down the steep and dangerous, slippery steps. And anything to either side of centre as well as up and down, was all but gone entirely. But he managed anyway to stumble to some taps and faucets that lined the far wall of a filthy unkempt wash house. The floor, the wall in front of him, and even the taps themselves were coated in oil and grime. But at least that night, there was running water. Soundwave, his hands trembling along with the rest of his body by then from impending systems shock, let the water run cool for just a second before he splashed it hopelessly over his face-plate. If his level of pain had been horrific before, that very quickly made it so much worse. The sound of steady and terrible shrieks filled the empty room for several long seconds before he realized that he was making such a sound himself. Still, he forced himself to keep on splashing water over his face plate while he sat on the dirty floor in front of it. And finally, unable to do anything else at all, he leaned half laying sprawled over the floor, and against the cold wall.
'You,' a small voice demanded urgently then. And his his confusion, he thought he could hear a strange beating of small wings somewhere near the low ceiling. 'Don't you even think of letting yourself power down. If you do that now, there's little chance you'll ever wake up! You can survive. You need to think smart."
"Who are you?" Soundwave demanded right back. That simple sentance, those three tiny words, were almost impossible to form in any real order, and the sound of his own voice echoed through his head, making everything that hurt, some how hurt worse.
The voice he'd heard – it was somehow strangely tiny, and feminine... and it appeared, he realized with a wave to fight, to speak in his head instead of out loud at all. A figure flew around a second, flapping close to the warped ceiling, and a flickering light, before it dropped to land, perching on the water faucet close to his head. Soundwave's vision was worse then before. But he looked, the best he could through failing optics to see that – no... she – was a tiny grayish black bot in the shape of a nearly primitive bird.
'I am... Laserbeak,' the bird said, again projecting her voice into Soundwave's head instead of making a noise. And in spite of it all, the pain and terror, the despair and the urgency that surrounded the moment, Soundwave laughed inwardly just a little, to realize she had only then decided she would name herself.
'You are called Soundwave,' the tiny telepathic bird said. And for someone so tiny she certainly was confidant in the tone of her voice. 'No need for introductions. I know all about you. Call me an admirer. I've watched you for a while." The tiny creature hopped gently down from the faucet and landed easily on Soundwave's chest penal, where she flattened herself out a bit and lay still a moment again him, sending a strange feeling of calmness and comfort the very best she clearly could through the same newly forming link that let him hear her voice. Soundwave raised a hand, the greatest possible amount of movement his own body would even allow by now, in order to rub it gently over the tips of her small wings, in thanks.
'I am... sorry I could not save you from this,' the tiny flying bot said, sitting upright again a second later on Soundwave's chest panel, before she jumped off again, perching herself back on the faucet. 'Are you carrying any supplies? Something we could use...'
Every fighter in the pits, was supplied with a simple stock of basic first aid supplies – a small mercy on part of the overseers, allowing them to patch themselves up should they survive their matches. The branch of the government that ran the place for the continued entertainment of their public, had learned, it seemed many years before, that the whole practice was so much more efficient if the fighters were spared from death in great numbers by simple injuries, by simply being provided with their own first aid kits Soundwave remembered his own supplies, stored inside his storage compartment. And he let said compartment pop open at once, before he struggled with weak and shaking hands to retrieve them. It wasn't much – not when it came to injuries as devastating as he knew his were – but still the best he could do.
'You need to get to a medical centre somehow,' Laserbeak reasoned, quite wisely. But Soundwave only shook his head a little. He stopped in a second because the motion of that brought him close to screaming again from pain.
"No. No, I cannot." He wished he could explain that the overseers of the fighting pit would only deem him worthless now for his so obviously devastating damage. And instead of any attempt at repairing him, he would only be ordered offline as worthless. But he couldn't make himself begin to form the words, and he quickly understood that he didn't have to try because the tiny bot understood him without a word at all, just as he did her. And she was not happy. He senced her hesitation clearly. But just as clearly he quickly he sensed her reluctant agreement She knew well that he was right.
Laserbeak moved again, hopping down fron the faucet and onto the floor, so that she could rummage, using her small beak and for forward tilted head, through the simply supplies that Soundwave had dropped, helplessly, onto the wash-house floor. In that same strange manner, she picked up a rag, fly it back to the still running tap, and let it dropped under the small stream of water. Soundwave watched her, as she picked it up again, now soaking wet, a second later. And with his worsening state of shock effecting his processor in ways he may not have liked had he only still been in his right mind, he almost laughed at just how silly she looked to him in doing that. The tiny flying bot dropped the rag again over his face-plate – so clearly the most pressing of his many injuries by far. And for what might have been minutes, he only screamed nonsensically, because his own mind and body would allow him to do nothing else. The tiny bot just let him it seemed. And for another second or two she pressed herself against him, sending the very same comfort and calm as before though the still growing connection.
"Vision – worsening," Soundwave said, well aware of mumbling far more than any real speaking. And he pulled the cloth away from his optics, only to realize just how bad the state of his optics had become by now. "Laserbeak... I can hardly see you. I can see barely more than light."
'Even without vision', the bird mused back to him, still in his mind, 'you might likely still have your life.'
Soundwave snapped awake suddenly, and to the sound of a metal fist banging lightly on the bars of his cell door. He remembered at once, where he was, realized he was indeed sure enough locked up in a cell. And he fought back a momentary groan of displeasure as he sat up on the thinly padded bench he'd been laying on to recharge. His spark sunk a second with his embarrassment, when he realized he'd recharged somehow well into mid morning.
His back ached with protest as he hauled himself immediately to his feet. And he stood still for a second or two, shaking off the most intense flashback he'd suffered through yet, staring through the bars at Ultra Magnus, who stood on the outside, looking in, with a container of fuel in his hand.
"May I enter?" the police captained questoned. And Soundwave nodded once in reply, before he thought to wonder if it had really been truly a matter of his choice at all whether to let him inside the cell or not. Ultra Magnus stepped inside the cell, after he;d unlocked it asily with a key card, he quickly placed back into his storage compartment. And just as soon as he'd done that, he offered out the fuel container, which Soundwave reached for hesitantly
There was a small, simply and rickety folding chair in the couner of the small cell, opposite the recharging bench. And the large police-bot sat down on it, his hands coming to rest comfortably on his folding knees.
"Please," he murmured, almost politely after a second, as he gestured to the bench, indicating his wish that Soundwave sit back down again himself. Soundwave hesitantly complied.
Flashback in recharge?" The police-bot questioned then. And Soundwave surprised himself by nodding slowly in confirmation.
"Bad one?"
Again, Soundwave nodded once. And to his far greater surprise, Ultra Magnus, responding with a look of understanding. he reached out a hand too. But it never once touched Soundwave's armour - stopping instead to hover a short ways above his shoulder panel.
"You're sure not alone," the police-bot said. And his optics showed a surprising kindness as he spoke. "I still get 'em at least twice a week. It;s still hard sometimes to remember they can't hurt us now."
"I... wish to thank you," Soundwave said. His words were slow as he tried hard as ever to form each one of them in a way that would have made any real sense at all. "For your choice not to lock Laserbeak in here along with me."
"Well..." the police-bot chuckled again, a genuine laugh as he smiled assurance. "Laserbeak didn't do anything wrong. She was inside the recreation room minding her own business it seems, perched on a lightshade while you took it upon yourself to attack that bot out in the hallway. I can't exactly punish her for something you did on your own. That's not the Autobot way of handling things."
Soundwave only nodded his grateful understanding, seeing his logic in keeping the bird free, while he took an equally grateful sip from the container of energon. Realizing quickly that he was still in great need of it, his energy still depleted and explaining his over-recharging, he took another sip at once. The energon in he container tasted strange to him. And he frowned slightly in confusion at the unfamiliar flavor of it. Still, it did not taste bad exactly, just different. And he took another, not slower sip, trying with no success at all, to identify the flavor.
"I mixed in a little magnesium and cobalt in with your fuel," Ultra Magnus explained, with another slight chuckle, because he'd surely noticed Soundwave's confusion over it. "It's generally agreed that that's a decent flavor combination. Besides, both metals are good for you. Wonderful, they say, for keeping yours fiber optics strong, as well as keeping rust at bay..."
Soundwave knew well that most bot's enjoyed flavors, some of them quite regularly, mixed into their energon. And strangely, it seemed a social trend was forming around the like of such a thing in the mornings, for whatever reason. The flavors came, sold in packets, easily available all over the city by now, and many bot's kept their own small assorted stashes of them beside their energon dispensers to use when they felt like adding metal flavors. Firestorm regularly brought her preferred iron and copper ones home with her from the sweet shop. And they were found frequently in a little blue dish by Soundwave small dispenser in his living space. But Soundwave had never before have any flavoured fuel. Never in his life before had it ever been available to him, and he'd never developed any desire to try it now, simply because others enjoyed it. Slowly drinking another sip of the flavoured morning fuel though, he admitted to himself that he could understand its popularity.
"That small bird of yours will be okay on her own a while?" Ultra Magnus inquired. Soundwave nodded at once, his confidence growing.
"Firestorm will care for her."
"That little Firestorm is really something else," the police-bot laughed again just a little, then ssat a second shaking his head in clear dismay. "I've never known a mini-bot femme before that's bold enough to step into a scrap between two raging ex-pit fighters, regardless of her reasons it. I'm not saying it was good idea. Anyone with any good sense knows it certainly was not. Still, she may well be a keeper."
"The greatest of my fears now – that one day I will wake from my recharge to find that my defection, and everything past that point, was a wonderful dream instead of anything real," Soundwave mused slowly out loud. He did not know the police-bot well at all. But somehow he felt a need to trust him, as he explained the strangest of his thoughts to this virtual stranger. "That I'll wake up early one morning on the warship with the endless war still dragging on and my faction still determined to wage it. That I'd only dreamed of peace and and of rebuilding the world. That'd I'd only dreamed that I could see again just like anyone else and that, I would fly for the simple joy of it. And so much worse than anything else – that I had only dreamed Firestorm... made her real in my mind and dreamed that I loved her, and I felt her love for me... but she was never real."
"You're not the only bot to fear sometimes that none of this new world is real," Ultra Magnus said. And the tone of his voice said that, shockingly, he related entirely. The captain of the police force fell silent then. And for a long moment, he just sat in his chair, leaning forward with his hands resting on his knees, and appeared to think intently.
"Ratchet came to speak to me last night," he continued. His voice was calm and still understanding, but serious too. "I found him waiting in front of my office, when I got back from locking you up. He told me everything he'd learned from you yesterday in his medbay. He assured me you knew already that he wanted to come forward..."
Soundwave only nodded mutely, as anxiety and threatening panic rose up through his frame. He rememered then that his optics were fully visible – he'd taken his face-shield off so that he could drink from his fuel container. And in that moment he felt ten times more uneasy in seconds, at knowing full well that his concern showed this time, in the midst of any interaction with another bot. He though perhaps he should put the cover back on. It lay right where's he lightly tossed it down, close to his hand on the padded bench. But it was too late for that now and he knew it. Inwardly he wondered in dismay at how he'd possibly forgotten all about it in the first place.
"I won't judge you immediately for your decision to return to Megatron," Ultra Magnus said. And to Soundwave's amazement there was still not a hint of anger in the tone of his voice. "I do however wish to know why..." the police captain sat up straighter, hands still on his knees, inviting open conversation.
"I... I don't know," Soundwave mumbled in answer. And all at once, he was instantly dismayed and disappointed with himself, becasue even in the worst of his lifelong troubles with verbal communication, he had never once been known to mumble his answers under any circumstances. "I hated him for a century... for years I wished him dead because that might have saved us all from an unending and pointless war... Still, when he called my commlink, I couldn't make myself refuse his demands..."
"You were conditioned to servitude for an impossibly long time," Ultra Magnus replied, thoughtful. And still his voice and expression showed no hint of judgment or anger. "I don't know much about your life story, and I won't claim to for a second. But it doesn't take a genius to understand you were raised to be a slave. When a bot grows into adulthood hearing that's all he can ever be, I fear all too often the prophecy is pretty self fulfilling."
"I fear Megatron will become a danger again," Soundwave said, volunteering the information he could easily guess the police-bot wanted, before he was asked for it. "This time his motivation is unusually well intentioned ... if not twisted and confused. But it stands to reason, he will target the rest of his troops who had since defected. And those now number near a hundred."
"I will assume you will willingly work with the police to settle this matter before anyone else is hurt," Ultra Magnus ventured. His tone was hopeful, serious and expectant. And without thinking twice about it, Soundwave nodded.
"Thank you," the police captain said, with a hint of a smile appearing again on his face-plate.
"I... want to be an Autobot," Soundwave blurted. Because though it must have seemed out of nowhere and completely unrelated to anything currently being discussed, he felt moved to say it then regardless.
"Soundwave," Ultra Magnus answered still slowly. And to Soundwave's surprise and dismay, he chuckled a little under his intakes again, as he did so. "The war is over. There are no formal factions anymore. Whether your status is Autobot or neutral, it hardly makes a bit of difference."
Soundwave knew of course that the police-bot was right. But his speak was suddenly heavy with a regret he didn't fully understand. He felt a tiny coolant tear forming in the corners of each of his optics, and he blinked them both away quickly, taking an intake of air and forcing back his feelings as he was so used to doing.
"It... does to me," he said, unable to stop the trembling of his voice as hard as he tried.
"I don't wanna do this anymore," Speedbreaker mumbled horribly. Tears fell from her optics, and her body screamed it's desire to move, to seek comfort by rolling to one side or the other. But she lacked any strength to do even that.
"I know," Bumblebee answered calmly, understanding. "We're so close now."
"How much longer?" Speedy asked, just barely managing to speak at all, between one strong pulse of energy that tore through the front of her frame and nearly clear around to the back of it, and the one that followed in under a second.
"I can't say exactly," Ratchet, standing close by with his trusty old scanner in hand, answered with a hint of a smile. "You know it's not nearly an exact science. But... if you keep going as you are, I'm going to guess an hour, maybe two."
"You see" 'Bee said, smiling even as he mate grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard enough that it caused him some degree of pain. "You're almost there."
"Oww..." Speedbreaker groaned under weak and shaky intakes. Her coolant tears kept falling, and her body shook hard from the physical stress of her relenting pain. "Oww... owwww... please, help me!"
Speedbreaker's panel was well over half way to open by now and the readings at last scan showed near full separation of both tiny newsparks from her own. Indeed, it appeared by then that each was attached to their carrier's spark by only thin threads of energetic matter, and those connections were steadily pulling apart.
"Help me! Help me!" Speedy screamed, instinctive panic threatening to overtake her just as it had done years before close to the arrival of her first youngling.
"You're okay," 'Bee said slowly. He smiled a little, but his smile was shaky with his own growing anxiety. "All three of you are still just fine.
"Okay... okay," Speedbreaker mumbled, gasping through her pain, and trying hard just to assure herself. Another hard pulse of energy come right on the heels of the last two of them, and she screamed loudly, because she couldn't stop herself from doing so.
"I... I can do this. I can do this..." she mumbled when the pain passed again. And she rested for just a second, staring into her mate's wide open optics, with her own filling with more coolant tears. As the next burst of pain began to build quickly somewhere within her spark chamber she blinked back still more tears and begged helplessly, "'Bee, p... please tell me I can do this!"
"You can," Bumblebee answered quickly. "You definitely can. Look how far you've gotten already... You're so amazing, and beautiful and unstoppable..."
"No I'm not," Speedbreaker said back. And the tone of her voice might have under so many other circumstances been almost funny. "I'm just a big mess..."
"You're my mess" 'Bee answered back quickly, just wishing he could make her laugh even a little, though he knew he would fail.
"I'm going to up your pain medication just a little bit," Ratchet said, stepping closer to the pair again, after he'd spent a moment digging through a drawer across the small room.
"No! No!" Speedy cried in alarm. Her hand held her bondmate's as tightly as ever, and she shook her head forcefully, with her optics staring at the old medic in determination. It had been a challange just to convince her to agree to any medication at all – though she finally had after five refusals, because she had by then been close to outright herself with pain. Now, quite as anyone had predicted, she fought hard against the need for anymore. "I can do this! I can, I can!"
"I don't doubt you can," the old bot answered. He smiled at her again with assurance, and rested a hand for a second on her shoulder panel gently. "But you're in far more pain than you need to be. Why do this to yourself? The medication you're on is different this time remember? See? You're still nice and alert. Fully conscious. And I'm just upping it a little."
For a moment after that, Speedy only shook her head again, even as greater pain than ever tore through her upper body – and this time it radiated, it seemed, also clear to her shoulders and down her arms, sending violent jolts of spark energy through her wiring, until her body stiffened painfully. As it passed she slowly nodded her head just a little, and gave a cry of despair as she reluctantly agreed.
"Hellooo," Arcee's voice called out from the door. And all three of the bots inside the room realized only then that the door had slid open at all. Bumblebee waved her in quickly with the one hand his mate wasn't still violently squeezing.
"Knockout comm'd me from work with an update," Arcee explained quietly. Her hand came to rest on 'Bee's shoulder panel, and she gestured toward Speedy with her optics, sympathetically. "He said it was pretty bad when he peeked in on her awhile ago. I hurried over just as soon as I could."
"Arcee..." Speedbreaker mumbled. Her optics met those of her friend. And the tears she'd managed managed to fight back, began to fall again. "I... wish I was strong like you..."
"It's okay. It's okay," Arcee said gently. And she smiled assurance just like the others had been doing all day. When Speedbreaker's free hand grabbed one of hers, she simply let her, still smiling a little.
"You will... stay here?" Speedy questioned, hopefully. And Arcee nodded at once.
"Of course I can, if you want me to. Firestorm has Cybershock along with Hotwire now..."
"Speedbreaker," Ratchet said, interrupting the silence they had all fallen into for a short while. He'd scanned her without her even appearing to notice it, and quickly he moved to set the scanner down on his worktable close to the recharge station, before he opened a kit filled with needed supplies he'd left close to it. "We've got two lovely little newsparks all ready to come on out."
Speedy knew at hearing his words though her haze of pain – still very present though made far less by the medication – that she should felt relief at his words. And she certainly did to some great extent. But there was more than that. Right along with her relief, a strong and pressing fear flowed through her at once.
"No reason at all to be scared," Ratchet said, understanding her emotions simply by looking at the expression on her face-plate. He took several hurried steps across the room, grabbed hold of the repair table containing the pair of newly finished youngling frames, and pulled it closer as he returned again to the side of the recharge station. "Now, we are going to do all the work here, and you're going to lay still and intake for me, okay."
"Mmmhmm," Speedy mumbled still shaking a little, as she made herself let go of her mate's hand.
Arcee hurried around to stand at the top of the recharge station. And she held one of her younger friend's hands in hers, not surprised at all when Speedy squeezed again hard as she could, while her other hand grabbed immediately onto the edge of the recharge station.
Bumblebee stood close to his bondmate, startled from his own racing thoughts and nearly jumping from the floor when Ratchet put a medical tool into his hands, instructing him at the same time to slide open the spark casings of both youngling frames beside him. Shakily he did so, struggling all the while not to drop the tool onto the floor.
"'Bee, you see both of the newsparks clearly?" the old medic asked, fully in 'teacher mode' now. The young Autobot nodded. And again he almost dropped the tool because of his shakiness and nerves.
He could indeed see then when he peered in, optics focusing well on the centre of his bondmate's fully open spark chamber. He identified Speedy's own spark easily of course – bright bluish white and pulsing steadily. And around close to hers he saw both of their children. Instead of moving independent of each other, as twin sparks should have, they stayed close together - one rotating far too slowly around the bluish spark of their carrier in a close wise motion, while the other followed behind it, pulled along by a thin string of energy that had formed between then. It looked unnatural, and 'Bee known that indeed it was. But both tiny sparks still pulsed bright and bluish white just like their creator's.
"We want to grab the one that's trailing behind first," Ratchet explained, still calm as ever. "The energetic band between then should snap on its own. If not. we just gently cut the string. When we've got the newspark, we turn and release it quickly into a frame and go back for the other, ideally in seconds." The old bot paused a second then, looking over the tiny sparks for a second himself, before he continued seriously. "Neither one is in any distress. They both look even better than I thought they might look up close. Still, when we get them into frames it might take a bit for either to come online or cry. They are both a bit weak from the condition they've gotten themselves into."
"Ratchet... I don't think I can..." 'Bee stammered, his nervously growing to the point of discomfort, and his shakiness making it harder still to keep a firm grip on the medical tool.
"You've got to learn to do this eventually," Ratchet said seriously. "No time like the present to do so. And don't drop that."
"Speedy," Arcee said, still standing in her position at the head of the recharge station. She pulled one of her hand's gently from her young friend's hard grip, so that she could rest on instead on her shoulder, trying hard to calm her when she saw the fear in her optics again. "Keep intaking Nice and calm. You're doing such a good job."
"Owwwww," Speedbreaker groaned helplessly. The pain was lessened greatly now because her fully open spark chamber had released most of the internal pressure that had caused a great deal of the pain. But it did still hurt considerably, and she was so exhausted already.
"Speedbreaker," Arcee's free hand went quickly to Speedy's shoulder panel, which she shook just the tiniest bit, to direction her attention to the right. "Look."
Bumblebee and Ratchet had successfully retrieved the first tiny newspark. And already the tiny thing had been dropped into the first of the two frames on the repair table. And despite the old bot's concerns that the youngling might still be still with weakness and shock from its birth, the tiny thing moved at once, legs kicking hard and arms waving mildly while it wailed with it's obvious displeasure at it's brand new situation.
"He looks good," Ratchet said, speaking quickly, and scanning the tiny newborn youngling just as fast, before he scooped up the youngling into his arms, holding him tightly while he helped his young student to retrieve the second one.
"He?" Speedbreaker asked, gasping for an intake as pain began abruptly to fade from her body. "A boy?"
"Indeed. And a perfectly healthy one at that it seems," Ratchet exclaimed, grinning now, as he hurriedly scanned the second one, who still lay on the repair table. "And his... sister – who spent hours letting him hitch a ride."
"A little girl! Speedbreaker cried with wonder and excitement. But she could hear the cry of only one youngling, that had stopped just as quickly as it had begun. Her optics grew wide, as she struggled to sit herself up just enough that she could try to look around the small room. "Ratchet? 'Bee? What's wrong? S..something's wrong! Are... are they okay?"
"Perfect," Ratchet answered, and the laugh he gave assured her at once.
The old medic turned around then to face the new carrier, one twin in each arm. Both kicked and wiggled just a little, looking around with interested optics. And held as they were, they had reached for each other at once, The second born holding the fingertips of the first with one tiny hand.
Bumblebee took the tiny boy then, and Speedbreaker was handed the girl. Both brand new frames, still simply grey and coated in oily protestant, began to show colours – each one a mix of vibrant orange and bright yellow, both highlighted lightly in silver and the patterns nearly identical. Both burst out crying loudly all at once the first they had heard the second born cry, and she was so clearly just as good at it as the first - only to slowly stop again when 'Bee happened to step closer to his mate, inevitably allowing the younglings to grab each other's hands clumsily again.
"'Bee," Speedbreaker said, a laughing smile on her face-plate right along with her dismay. "We'll have a job and a half to get them to recharge in their own individual baskets once we get them home. They miss each other the second they're a metre apart!"
"So we let them recharge together in one of them for a few days," Bumblebee answered easily, laughing with amusement and wonder at the behaviour of his younglings. "Then see what happens. "It sure won't hurt anything."
Very soon after the completion of both the hospital's youngling ward and its new carrier's room; the next, much smaller project had been to install a decently sized hot pool. It occupied a room at the end of a lesser used corridor, and furnished with a couple of blue cushioned benches to match the rough oil proof tiles on the floor. And while the hot pool had been built mostly for the benefit of hospital patients who used it mostly for physical therapy, it had just as quickly become a favoured after hours hang out for the Autobot team - who far preferred it over the larger, but also much louder and always far more crowded one inside the downtown rec-centre. And sure enough, that evening a few of the 'bots say in and around the hot pool, laughing, at present over some ridiculousness involving confused vehicle modes and newly installed traffic lights downtown.
"I would have expected if anything was going to go wrong, they would have all tried to go at the same time," Arcee exclaimed through laughter despite knowing that perhaps it was not entirely a laughing matter. "I'm glad they all stopped instead. I really am of course. Still, someone has got to put out a notice about the meaning and use of a 'four way stop' at flashing reds!"
"Four bots all stopped at an intersection mumbling 'after you' for five minutes," Bulkhead laughed loudly. And he shook his head hard all the while. "At least they've learned well to stop on red."
"Were we wrong to implement traffic lights here?" Arcee questioned, her own laughter all but over with by now. "It's not Cybertronian. It's Earth's system. And these refugees have no idea how it's really all supposed to work."
"No, it's probably not ideal," Ratchet said from the open doorway of the room. It closed behind him as soon as he steeped inside and he walked quickly across the room, obviously planning to join the others in the small pool, which he promptly did. "But with so many bots back here now and a traffic safety problem, we needed to do something quickly. Let's face it. That Earth system was much faster to set up than our old way would have been." The old bot sat a second in the warm watery oil, shifting just a little in order to let it flow from a small jet behind him against his achy lower back hinges. "I don't want this place to start to look like just another Earth. But the lights are working, and those bot's thankfully do seem to caught onto the idea that red mean stop and green means go."
"Personally I like the traffic lights so far..." Knockout said. He sat, quite casually, on the blue tiled floor, with his now empty mobility cart still directly behind him And he gave a wistful kind of chuckle under his intake, as he watched Cybershock playing with her much loved toy cars on the bench near the door. "Even if I can't actually drive... still, something about sitting, just watching, waiting for that red light to turn green again..."
"Of course you would feel that way," Ratchet exclaimed with a laugh of his own.
"What?" Knockout demanded laughing along. He rubbed at a sore and dented right knee, frowned at bad scuffs on his lower left leg, and winced with discomfort as he shifted his body just a little and sent small jolts of pain through his right hip joint in doing so. "It's true. We all know it's true. Don't tell me you haven't all done it!"
"Why don't you come in here?" Arcee invited, gesturing with a hand for her mate to join them in the small pool. "The warm oil will do you some good."
Knockout shuffled awkward though still efficiently enough over the floor a short ways, before he slowly dropped his feet into the hot pool. Finally, letting the water support enough of his weight to stop him from instantly falling in doing so, in slid in an sat up perfectly well again.
"I hadn't realized just how bad I'd banged myself up until after I got back off that machine and onto the floor," he remarked, his dismay obvious right along with his embarrassment.
"That fall was pretty bad," Arcee said, understanding, as she looked him over in concern. And Knockout only nodded a little, staring for a moment down into the shiny oil of the hot pool.
Falling was hardly new to him. Given his condition, and the unending determination with which he approached rehabilitation work it did seem like he fell almost daily as of late. That evening however he'd managed to fall much harder than ever before anyone could help him – landing hard on the medbay floor, causing dents to his body from the hard impact and lucky to not have also smashed his head in doing so. Still, he'd managed to walk at least ten steps holding into a walking frame before he stumbled forward when the whole thing had gotten away from him, and tipped over. And even then, after he'd finally succeeded in sitting himself up again – painfully and winded - he'd only wanted more than ever to start over and try again, because perhaps he could make it much further next time.
"I'll be fine by morning," Knockout said, his words hurried enough to make his embarrassment over the entire subject clear. And Ratchet shoot a mild glare in his direction at once.
"Maybe so," the old bot muttered. "In fact, more than likely so. Still, we are going easier tomorrow with your rehab work. That little accident today was my own fault I fear, and you could have been hurt far worse. You're no good to anyone on injury leave, and you already have processor damage!"
"I talked briefly with Ultra Magnus this evening," Arcee said, changing the subject easily, in light of her mate's more than obvious unease.
Cybershock ran to her then, tossing her little toy cars into ehr compartment as she ran, and nearly slipping on the wet tiles next to the hot pool, becasue she wasn't paying attention. Arcee grabbed the youngling at once, a hand flying out to steady her without even a thought. Cybeshock plopped herself down at once by the edge of the hot pool. And curiously she touched her fingertips to the watery oil, leaving then submerged fro just a second before she pulled them out again, obviously having decided it was too hot for her liking.
"It seems Soundwave told him he wants to be an Autobot..." Arcee continued, scooping some oil up into ehr hands and leaving it to cool there a second before she rubbed it gently over the back of her child's frame, making her smile.
"The war is over," Bulkhead muttered, confused and with a shrug of his big shoulders. "What difference would that possibly make now...?"
"That's what Ultra Magnus told him," Arcee explained, as baffled as her teammate was. "That it makes little difference. Soundwave says it matters to him."
"I feel like we should let him," Ratchet said slowly, thoughtfully. He sat up a little straighter in the water oil, and the look on his face-plate showed that he was entirely serious. "None of us became Autobots just to fight and win a war after all. It's about everything we believe in; our vision for Cybertron, our own ideals. And if Soundwave, or anybot for that matter, wishes to clam those ideas as his own... well then..."
"I think I'm with Ratchet on this," Bulkhead said, nodding his head slowly, as he too considered.
"I never thought I'd see the day that Soundwave of any bot on Cybertron..." Arcee mumbled, not at all unhappily. But she didn't even bother to finish the thought, and instead simply added, "So who's going over everything with him to prepare for imitation vows?"
"I will," Bulk answered quickly. And no one was surprised.
"If no one objects to this..." Knockout said. And he looked around at each of his teammates with some hesitation, along with his confidence, "This could well be an opportunity for me to take my own as well..."
"Knockout," Bulkhead mumbled, now so obviously fully confused. He exchanged glances with Ratchet, who just shrugged a little, so clearly uncertain himself. "You've been an Autobot for years already..."
"I know," Knockout replied, explaining seriously, while he shifted in the pool both nervous and trying to let the water flow nicely against the hip he'd banged hard in his impact with the floor. "But... it was never official. I nearly died the day we tried, remember? We all jsut called it good enough, but..."
Bulkhead and Ratchet continued to exchange their looks of dismay for a moment, but Acree smiled immediately in her understanding.
"I'm so glad you came back," Firestorm mumbled happily, while she untangled herself gently from Soundwave's cables as soon as he had put her down on the ground, in their favoured tiny valley partway up a mountain range. She took a fast and stumbling step toward him at once. And reaching up just as hug as she could, she hugged him - refusing to let go again, until he laughed suddenly and swept her up into his arms, lifting her back up from the ground again.
Soundwave was almost twice Firestorm's size, and he must have enough to well reflect that. Still, when he stood for many long moments, just holding her so casually metres above the ground, she was shocked momentarily by his strength, until she realized quite quickly that of course was nothing at all considering how easily he carried her while flying great distances.
"I missed you," Firestorm said. She kicked her feet a little, playfully, as they hung over Soundwave's left arm, and added quite simply while smiling, "but I'm sure you must know that."
"I do know that," Soundwave answered. He set her back down again, on both of her feet, and watched with some concern as she stumbled just a little, lacking any decent balance on the uneven ground littered with shifting flakes of metal. But she she gently held his hands, in order to steady herself standing. And he easily allowed it, smiling again, before he added, "I missed you to."
"You look much better now than you did yesterday. And you sound happier too... far more like you again."
"I am... most certanly trying as hard as I can."
"Thank you for bringing me back up here again," Firestorm grinned. Looking up so she could see Soundwave's optics.
"I know you've always loved this place," Soundwave replied, explaining simply. He paused then for a moment, before he continued on, thoughtfully. "I am still greatly amazed however, at your willingness to be carried in the air."
"Is that so strange a thing?" Firestorm asked, honestly surprised. And even more surprising to her was the serious look on Soundwave's face-plate.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"You are a ground class bot."
"So?"
"Unusual," Soundwave remarked, still thoughtful and reflective, "to have met a single one not perfectly content with all wheels on the ground, and terribly uneasy with the thought of wings and thrusters instead."
"Well I love the sky... the open air," Firestorm said firmly. They had forgotten to bring her walking frame with them, and as she used it far less then ever by then, she noticed the lack of it, only as seh stumbled again because of the shifting flakes of metal. With only a tiny shrug at that, she sat on the ground, pulling Soundwave down gently with her, by playfully yanking his hands as she dropped. And once seated comfortably on the rough metal of the ground beneath then, she moved to rest her head against his chest panel, and sat like that watching Laserbeak, flying wide circles above them in the sky. "I've started to wish more and more every time we fly together, that I could have my own pair of wings instead of silly little wheels..."
Soundwave had never been to to think himself superior to grounders, simply because of his use of wings as opposed to their wheels. He'd come to learn well that so many held that very opinion (and he knew just as well, how many grounders saw superiority in their own set of wheels. To him such opinions had always seemed senseless and lacking in purpose. Still, he was a flighted bot himself. And he knew as well as any such bot, what it was to love the open sky.
"In your spark," he mumbled, smiling with something he hoped would show as understanding," you were meant to be a flyer..."
Firestorm thought for a second before she nodded, slowly and hesitant. She watched the tiny bot above flying for a moment more before she lowered her gaze and shrugged just a little. Because in her mind, she was what she was because of genetics and simple CNA and programming. The true desires of a spark made little difference when it came to such things as one's form.
"I talked to Ratchet today," she said, immediately switching their talk to a new subject entirely. "I told him I just be surrendering my room back to the Autobots soon, because you and I both know almost everything I own is now in yours anyway. He suggested that perhaps we would like to be put onto the housing list... Two new buildings will be finished soon, with room for us in either one.
"Did you give an answer?" Again Soundwave was simply curious. And he watched as she smiled again.
"I told him I would talk to you tonight about it." The minibot giggled, as she moved again, reaching out to hold his hands, smiling brighter when he offered both at once.
"So..." she said, her expression serious then. "This is me... talking to you."
"You stayed on the base because of your rebooting risk."
"And I haven't had a single reboot since the cybermatter trial..."
"I stayed because..." Soundwave's words died in the air, his own thought hall finished. But Firestorm poked him lightly, playfully, in the side of his frame with an extended fingertip.
"Because why?" she asked, smiling. "Why did you stay there so long?"
"I... stayed at first because I couldn't imagine I was worthy of any real housing, a nice home that could really be mine. Also, given my former position under Megatron, it stood easily to reason to any bot with a price on my head, I would have been too easy a target in any of the complexes."
"Such things are simmering down now. Yes there will always be some... notable exceptions. But overall, it's hardly so dangerous now."
"You are correct," Soundwave said, He smiled again, realizing only then how good it felt to smile still with her, even after his his very recent new traumas. His smile faded quickly though and he just stared around the room for a moment, strangely sheepishly, as he continued on. "I stayed though, even when I could well have left, because you were still there."
Firestorm smiled silently for a long moment at his answer. But in another moment the smile had faded, leaving only a look of contemplation on her face-plate. And still she just stayed silent.
"Something is bothering you..." Soundwave guessed, thoughtfully. He shifted a little a fair bit, moving his hands away from hers and instead pulling her against him to show his concern. And he hoped she would say more. But she didn't.
"What is it?" he asked her slowly.
"We can... talk about this some other time," Firestorm answered, smiling again, as she looked at him again. Her look made it clear she really was content in waiting and she just smiling brighter again, her hands reaching for his slowly. "When you really feel better..."
"I feel fine tonight," Soundwave answered. And he smiled right back to assure her. He watched her just a moment more and felt sure he could easily guess what it was she was thinking of so intently. So he mumbled quietly, thouhg still calm and questioning. "You want to know I suppose, why it is I told you I will never have a youngling?"
"It's just..." Firestorm looked him in the optics again. And though she was hesitant for another second or two, she quickly continued on. "You have Laserbeak to care for, and you've never failed her..."
"Laserbeak is not a youngling" Soundwave answered, understanding at once exactly where it was she was coming from, though still mildly amused anyway. "And she was already an adult – granted still a young one – when she found me. It was never my duty to raise her.. to shape her future and who she would become..."
"My point still feels relevant."
"I had not realized at all until your previous still recent mention of it, that you wanted a youngling at all."
"Of course I do. Just like most bots on Cybertron now. The younglings are the future! And the children of everyone else are so wonderful an amazing. I play with them and pick them up, and I always smile so much when I do. But they aren't mine. I want my own as much as the others wanted theirs, because I'm not so different..."
"Firestorm..."
"We would be so good with our own youngling," Firestrom said. And now, with the subject in the open again, she spoke about the matter willingly all to aware of the tears forming in her optics. "We'd love it so much. And teach it everything it needs to be a good bot one day..."
"No," Soundwave answered slowly. She may not have been bonded to him, but still he could sense her sparkbreak, and his own sparked dropped because of it. Still he went on, explaining firmly. "I would be a terrible creator. Never in my young life did I know a day of love from my own. I've killed, done too much harm, learned to act on hate and anger. I barely knew how to speak until I had lived for half a century."
"Knockout is a former 'con too," Firestorm said, and again Soundwave knew at once where she was coming from. Though he could not agree that her reasoning was good enough. "He loves Cybershock more than anything. Primus help the world when he learns to walk again. He'd surely kill to protect her one day if a need to ever came up. He'd move mountains if they stood between her and the world..."
"Knockout is nothing like me," Soundwave answered firmly. And he said nothing more about it, because in his own mind that said enough.
"You say you will never compromise," Firestorm began to question. And despite the serious and emotionally charged nature of the subject at hand, she just looked up at Soundwave still calmly, and went on speaking, without a hint of anger in her voice. "What if I decided someday I couldn't compromise either?"
"Firestorm, I love you more than anyone," Soundwave answered. His voice was sad and serious and firm all at the same time. "You are the bot that taught me I could love anyone at all... that I still possessed the spark for it as well as anyone else. I want to keep you with me forever. But I cannot hold you against you own will and you know well I would never try. If someday you moved on to find some bot who would give you the life I cannot, I would never beg you not to go with him."
"I'm not leaving," Firestorm said. The tears in her optics fell down her face-plate when she understood the unbending seriousness of Soundwave's words. And she shifted quickly, half laying on the rough ground again, so that her head came to rest in his lap, while she spoke with determination. "I can't imagine a time I'd ever want to do that. But don't need to figure this out right now."