Boo I'm back
This chapter is the second part of a bisected chapter, and immediately follows the events of chapter 43. If you didn't get an alert for that one, make sure to read it before reading this one!
Mild chapter warning: Sam is an ass (not for reasons related to the next warning; explanation is in the bottom author note). More serious warning for some gay trauma, and the word "queer" briefly being used in a negative fashion.
The second sixth period ended, Wes stormed into Tucker's sewing class, slamming the door into the wall. Stragglers scurried out, not wanting to face the ire of the reformed conspiracy nut, leaving him and Tucker alone in the classroom.
"Have you been talking to Sam?" Wes demanded.
"...Sure?" Tucker ventured. "We're friends. We talk."
"You know what I mean!"
"Ohhh, you mean the dating stuff?" When Wes nodded, Tucker shrugged. "A little bit, yeah. She's pretty much the only person I can flaunt my genius at. Since she knows you're into dudes and all that."
"So this is your fault!" Wes cried. Tucker clutched his half-finished gloves tighter. "Sam's been acting weird all week, and it's because you've been telling her everything!"
"Don't be silly," Tucker replied. "Why would she be acting different? She already knows about the gay thing, she doesn't care."
"Then why does she keep ruining everything?" Wes challenged. "She keeps glaring at me, she she just so happened to be in the right place to keep you from running into Danny, and she's been leading him away all day so I can't even get close enough to ask him out! She stole my meteor shower plan, Tucker! I was planning that for like two weeks, and the weekend after I told you about it, she all of a sudden had the same idea! That was really important to me!"
"Wait wait wait wait, let me get this straight," Tucker cut in. "You think she's trying to sabotage you, just using the deets I gave her?"
"You think she isn't?"
"She wouldn't—" Tucker hesitated. "No, I take it back. Maybe she would. But why would she?"
Wes crossed his arms, the gesture more reserved than irate. "Because she hates me, obviously."
"Hates you? No way, dude! You're part of Team Phantom! I mean, sure, she's opinionated, and sometimes she can be pretty judgey, but she doesn't really hate much."
"So she is judging me!"
"I don't know!" Tucker sighed, pushing up his glasses. "Look, I'll talk to her. Maybe I can figure out what's going on."
Wes blanched. "Talk to her? Wait, no, what if she gets mad I told you, and takes it out on me?"
"Takes it out on you how?" Tucker asked. Wes didn't answer him. He sighed again. "Hey, I know Sam. Almost as long as I've known Danny. She's not gonna go all Dash on you just because I ask her what's up. It's gonna be fine, okay? There's probably a really good reason she's acting out, and once I find out what it is, we'll all be square. Alright?"
Wes didn't believe a word of it. Almost everything he'd said up to this point had been proven wrong, and this whole thing was his fault anyways. If he hadn't invited himself on Wes's "romantic journey," or at the very least if he just knew how to keep his mouth shut, everything would have been fine. Wes could have yearned in peace, and maybe even taken Danny to see the shower after all. Tucker talking to Sam could only spell disaster. He wasn't called Bad Luck Tuck for nothing.
Wes could only hope that, this time, maybe he'd really get lucky.
({O})
Wes spent Friday on-edge. He saw little of Danny, Sam, and Tucker outside of the classes he shared with them. And when he did see them, Sam was always glaring at him, seeming somehow even more sinister than usual.
That did not bode well for him.
Wes's nerves got worse and worse as the day progressed, and he wanted nothing more than for it to be over so that he could go home and know he was safe. He couldn't even bring himself to sit at their table, his heart threatening to ram straight through his ribcage at the mere thought of facing Sam there, so he instead retreated to the darkroom, eating in the comfortably familiar darkness.
It wasn't long before he heard a gentle knock at the door. There were only two people that could be: either Danny was coming to check up on him, as he usually did when Wes didn't feel like dealing with the cafeteria ruckus, or Tucker wanted to go over some new wooing strategy.
Regardless of which of them it was, Wes didn't want to leave them waiting. He got up and opened the door, the visitor slipping inside before the door shut behind them.
There was some fumbling, and then the room was lit, Sam holding the chain.
"We need to talk."
Wes's heart caught in his throat. And whoops, there went another bulb.
Wes opened his mouth, but all that came out was a strangled wheeze. He tried again, his actual voice not much better. "Whuh, um, what about?"
"You know what," Sam replied sternly. "You need to stay away from Danny. You've pestered him enough."
So it was true. Maybe Sam really had been okay with Wes being gay, from afar. But it was different to know someone was flirting with one of your best friends, or trying to. A person could only tolerate so much, especially when they didn't like someone to begin with. Sam was sending a message, and if not that, a warning.
"Did he say that?" he gasped, the words slipping out before he could think to hold his tongue.
Maybe Danny really had rubbed off on him too much.
Clearly it was the wrong thing to say. Sam advanced, hands balled into fists. "He didn't have to. I'm telling you now. Do us all a favor and stay out of his life."
Wes backed away, hands flailing behind himself so as not to back into any tables. What he didn't take into account was the clothesline at shoulder height, an array of photos pinned to it. It gave way under his weight, and he fell to the floor, scrambling away from the approaching goth. His chest rose and fell, but each breath caught without reaching his lungs, leaving him lightheaded and numb.
"O-Or what?" he dared.
Shut up, Wes! Don't make it worse!
"What do you mean, 'or what?'" Sam demanded, Wes flinching at her tone.
"He's... He-He's my friend," Wes replied. "I don't want to lose him. I don't care what you think of me," the warble in his voice readily disproved the lie, "but I... I still want to be his friend. Even if you try to stop me now."
Sam didn't speak for quite a long time, so long that Wes's vision was starting to blur around her. What was she thinking? What was she going to do? Was she going to try to break him? Was she going to try to fix him? He didn't know her well enough to say. All he knew was that her beliefs were right, and anything she didn't believe in, wasn't.
He didn't know what she did to the things she didn't believe in.
When Sam did finally speak, it was to say probably the last thing he would have expected her to say. "Who said anything about you not being his friend?"
"...You did," Wes dared. "Just now. You said you wanted me out of his life."
She'd gone quiet again. She was staring at his shivering, groveling form, almost curled into a ball. His eyes and nose were wet, but his mouth was so, so dry. Hands made weak attempts to protect his head, his thumbs absently massaging the shells of his ears. Despair bubbled on the back of his tongue, held in check only by the pinch of his teeth.
He probably looked pathetic.
After taking him all in, Sam spoke up again. "...What do you think this is?"
What was this? An attempt to humiliate him? Make him feel stupid? Give her a reason to mutilate him like she was probably itching to?
Wes laughed, a short, hoarse sound that almost sounded like a sob. "...You're gonna teach me a lesson, right? Show me why Casper High doesn't like queers like me? Why you don't want one hanging around your best friend? Limped my wrist around him too much, huh?"
Wes didn't know where he was finding the courage to speak so brazenly. Maybe because he knew he was already doomed. Maybe he'd felt this fear too many times before, and was getting sloppy. Or maybe Sam was just so scary on a good day, that this wasn't that much worse.
If he was gonna be six feet under anyway, might as well dig the hole a little deeper, right?
To his surprise, Sam took a step back, rather than getting closer. Without her looming over him, whatever was stuck in his throat dislodged itself and let him breathe.
"...What are you talking about?" Sam asked. "This has nothing to do with you being gay. I mean, okay, I guess technically it does. But if you have any redeeming qualities, being gay is one of them."
Wes blinked.
"Whuh?"
"What, did you think...? No! Ancients no, Wes!" She took another step back, hands raised defensively. "I just wanted you to stop hitting on Danny! This isn't some stupid hazing ritual, I would never do that!"
Wes looked her up and down disbelievingly. That was exactly what it looked like it was. "...I don't get it. Why not?"
Sam groaned. "Because it's probably the one thing I actually respect about you. Pretty much the entire country would want you dead if they knew about you, if not the world, but you still have the guts to stand up and say, 'hey! I'm queer!' Who wouldn't respect a middle finger to authority like that? Sometimes I wish I was gay just so I could do the same thing."
Wes elected not to point out that he did not, in fact, go around telling people he was queer.
"...You wish you were gay?"
Sam crossed her arms. "I said sometimes. But that isn't the point!"
"Then what is the point?" asked Wes, finally daring to sit up. He wasn't sure he could stand just yet. "If you aren't about to punish me just for existing, then why do you want me to stop talking to Danny?"
Sam's grip on her arms tightened. "Because it's you!"
"...Me?"
"Ever since that basketball game with Cujo," Sam bit out, "you've been nothing but a massive jerk to Danny. You stalked him, you tried to tell everyone he was a ghost, and even when you weren't focused on him, you were just mean! But then you went and died, and all of a sudden everything is fine! It was like you never tried to ruin his life! Now everything you've ever done is treated like it was all just a huge joke, and I'm the only one who remembers how terrible of a person you were! I don't even know if you ever became a good person! And for some stupid reason, Danny's falling for you, even though I've been there for him the entire time!"
Sam wilted, her arms finally dropping to her sides. "Just... Why did it have to be you?"
For a long time, Wes didn't dare to respond. He didn't think he'd ever seen Sam look so vulnerable. Suddenly, everything made so much more sense. Why she kept disrupting him at every turn. Why she never quite seemed to warm up to him when the others readily did. Why, even before that, she'd been almost outraged when she found out Danny had saved his life.
No, not outraged, now that he thought back on it. Shocked. It wasn't that she would have preferred him fully dead; she just couldn't believe Danny would bother to save him, after everything he'd done.
Because she was right. Wes's days of exposing Danny to the world may have been long past him, but no decent person would have started in the first place. A decent person would have realized that maybe, just maybe, someone had a good reason for keeping secrets. And that maybe those reasons weren't that far off from his own. To this day, he was loud, and nosy, and intense, and disruptive, and all manner of things that everyone else usually found distasteful. Though his recent motivation was gone, the foundation to do it again was still very much present.
But he knew better now. He liked to think that he'd taken a level in consideration, now that he knew not everything was as black and white as it seemed. He didn't jump to conclusions, or raise his voice in public (much), and he definitely didn't make decisions for people if they didn't ask for it first.
Much like Sam was doing right now, actually.
"...Hold on. So you're trying to intimidate me away from Danny, not because I'm gay, but because you're jealous that he maybe happens to like me back even though you were there first?"
"I'm not jealous!" Sam immediately denied. "And it isn't like that! I'm just trying to do what's best for him!"
"You just said he didn't tell you to!" Wes countered. "You can't decide what he needs for him!"
"What, like you did for most of freshman year?" Sam shot back.
"I at least stopped! But let me guess, when you do it it's 'different.'" Wes made air quotes with his fingers.
"This is different!"
"Okay, then explain it to me!" Any traces of fear were now gone, replaced with the more comfortable heat of indignation. "Maybe he likes me back, or maybe he doesn't like me like that, I don't know! But Tucker told me himself, he's healthier now, and he's happy! I'm not gonna try to tell you I'm the perfect friend, because I'm not. But I've gotta be doing something right. So why do you get special permission to pick and choose his friends? You can hate me all you want, but if he doesn't want anything to do with me, he can tell me that himself."
Sam opened her mouth to argue further, then closed it. She knew there was nothing she could say to refute his words, not without proving his point. It wasn't often someone cornered her in a battle of words, but if there was one thing Wes had a knack for, it was poking holes in arguments. Credit where credit was due, loathe as she was to admit it, even in her head; her nose wrinkled at the notion.
"...Okay, fine, maybe it is because I kind of like him," she eventually admitted. "Maybe you're right, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. All you do is try to control Danny's life, and lately you've been trying so hard to make sure he likes you. Even if I didn't like him like that, I can't just stand by and let you manipulate him."
Wes scoffed. "Last I checked, flirting and manipulating aren't the same thing. If you wanna get on someone's case about that, get on Tucker's. He hasn't left me alone ever since he figured me out, and he's dead-set on hooking me up with Danny."
Sam quirked a brow. "Why are you taking dating advice from Tucker?"
"Because he won't shut up until something works," Wes groaned. "He hasn't exactly been subtle. The sooner I go on something at least vaguely resembling a date with Danny, the less time Tucker has to let something slip, maybe publicly."
"He wouldn't let anything slip," Sam argued. "He's kept yours and Danny's secrets this long, hasn't he?"
"He told you everything."
"I... Okay yeah, point taken." Sam sighed, rubbing her arm. "So this whole time, you've been hitting on Danny because Tucker made you?"
Now that the elevated energy had started to settle, Wes finally stood, tired of sitting on the cold floor. "I mean, most of it, anyway. I'm not exactly, you know. Out? And I still don't even know that Danny likes me back. I wouldn't have the guts to do most of the stuff Tucker has been suggesting if he didn't hassle me into it."
He frowned. "But the meteor shower thing was my idea. I was planning that for weeks before you came in and took it from me. You called me a jerk, but at least I'm not cruel enough to steal birthday gifts."
To Sam's credit, she did look somewhat guilty at the reminder. "Yeah, I know, that was uncalled for. I'm sorry. I kept one of the tickets, but... I guess I could give it to Danny so he can choose who he goes with. Even if I don't want it to be you, I can at least acknowledge it wasn't fair to steal your idea." She smiled wryly. "At the time I figured it was better than my placeholder gift."
Despite his lingering irritation, Wes found himself smiling. "Wait, so we were both doing late presents? What were you originally gonna do?"
Sam hissed through her teeth. "A Dumpty Humpty shirt." When Wes cackled at her, she huffed. "Well, the console I wanted to give him doesn't officially come out until November, and I don't think I could get it earlier than September, if I'm lucky. I couldn't let Danny think I didn't care on his birthday!"
Wes snickered. "Huh. Then I guess I'd better save up so I can give him the console before you do."
"If you do that I'm getting him a car," Sam quipped.
Neither of them really intended to get such exorbitant Christmas gifts for Danny, but the impromptu competition helped dissipate the rest of the tension between them. Things were far from amicable, and likely would be for quite some time. But the air had been cleared, at least partly, and that was a start.
"Look. How about this," said Sam. "I'll get Tucker off your back if you promise to stop doing so much flirting."
Wes grimaced. "Please?"
Sam huffed again. "I still really don't like this."
"I'm aware," Wes sighed wearily. He stared off to the side, picking at his jersey. "Maybe Danny does like me, like you and Tucker think. I don't know. But I think he likes you, too. And Valerie, and Paulina, and who knows who else. Danny just... likes people. Maybe he'll date one of us, or neither of us, or both of us at different times. Whatever happens, happens."
It was Sam's turn to sigh. Why did Wes have to be so analytical? Why did he have to be right?
"I really don't like it," she said, "but I have to agree. We can't force him to feel one way or another. Besides, I get the feeling you don't like it any more than I do."
Wes snorted. "If we agree, then can we have a truce? No more trying to one-up each other?"
He extended a hand, and Sam stared at it. She really didn't want to take it. She would prefer not to make physical contact with him at all. Even if he'd managed to find an inkling of common sense some time in the last five months, she wasn't entirely convinced that he'd miraculously reformed.
But this wasn't really about her anymore. And as stubborn as Sam was, she wasn't so stubborn as to think she couldn't be proven wrong.
She took his hand, giving it a firm shake. "Truce."
IMPORTANT EDIT NOTE because it came up: Sam didn't say she sometimes wished she was gay because "haha gay is cool." I picture her as pan but with a fluid preference, but who hasn't realized she's gay yet because she assumes fleeting thoughts about girls is normal, especially when the sentiment doesn't always stick around. (Source: I'm bi but didn't know it until someone came out to me in middle school, and I realized that liking both wasn't typical for most girls. And my preferences are also fluid.) Anyway I wanted to change Sam's phrasing while still alluding to this fact, but I couldn't think of a way to do it so I'm leaving this note here instead for future readers.
Okay, so. "Simple" answer for why Sam was so petty and vengeful? She's 16. She knows the right things to think and what the "correct takes" are, but she doesn't have the perspective or experience to act on it. Though she and her views aren't shallow, her knowledge of some topics CAN be, and thus her approach tends to be either aggressive (forcing people to eat ultra-recyclovegetarian for a week because Meat Bad, without regard for dietary needs, ethical labor, etc) or performative (preaching to and reprimanding Danny and Tucker for liking a truck with bad fuel economy, despite them not having any actual plans to buy said truck). Sam approaches things like an online activist might, and is more keen on saying the right things than allowing others to make their own informed decisions and opinions. Combine that with her stifling upbringing and consequent desire to stand out, and you get a good person who does bad things without realizing they're bad because she's good.
In this situation? Her thought process is something like "Wes is a bad person, but he's trying to force Danny to like him, and since I've never witnessed an apology, it probably didn't happen and thus everything was swept under the rug. But Danny shouldn't like him because I've been a good person the whole time, so the way Wes is suddenly all over him is kinda sus."
(I adore Sam, but she did some wack stuff in canon and on top of that she was NOT consistently fleshed out, so characterizing her is a challenge and a half. But I at least think she makes SOME coherent sense when framed in this light.)
While waiting to post this chapter, I somehow managed to make a buffer of not one, but TWO chapters, and they're both sitting in my docs as we speak. The next one is gonna be kind of a downer, but the one after that should hopefully make up for it! So stay tuned, I'll be posting those in roughly 2 and 4 weeks, respectively!